Gossip Girl, Season 3

Chuck:
We could never be boring.

Blair:
You say that, but I know you. You're Chuck Bass.

Chuck:
I'm not Chuck Bass without you.

Chuck:
You're forgetting one simple fact. Sleeping with the enemy is hot. Why do you think I had the whole Ivanka thing?

Dan:
I see the cat's out of the bag.

Rufus:
And topless on valentino's yacht.

Jenny:
Thats not fair. Everyone's topless on Valentinos yacht.

Rufus:
What about this one where she's dancing on the table?

Eric:
Well, thats what you do in Barcelona.

Rufus:
And this one with Prince Harry doing shots off of-

Dan:
That's what you do in St. Tropez!

Vanessa:
[On Dan's wallet] What is this? Oh, it's where you keep your... hundred dollar bills.

Dan:
Do you know how hard it is to break one of those things? I don't know why they even make them.

Blair:
Chuck, none of these girls are even worth humiliating, looking in the mirror will do that for them.

Chuck:
Is everything ok? What's going on?

Blair:
Nothing's going on, why?

Chuck:
This is a one stop shop and you're acting like everything's last season. I thought you wanted to play.

Blair:
I did! I do.

[Chuck looks at her intensely]

Blair:
: I did. The summer was great. We had a lot of fun. Maybe summer's over?

Chuck:
: OK. If that's what you want.

Blair:
: Is that what you want?

Chuck:
I want you to be happy. However, that's achieved.

Gossip Girl:
They are a bunch of friends, in which Serena, who slept with Dan, who was sleeping with Vanessa, who slept with Chuck, who slept with Blair, who slept with Nate who slept with Serena.

Georgina:
My parents said it was either bible camp or college, so... go Bobcats!

Blair:
So you're not in love with Jesus anymore.

Georgina:
Oh, I still hold him in my heart, but Jesus and I have redefined our relationship.

Blair:
You mean he dumped you because he found out you were Satan.

Katie:
So was everyone in your high school totally jealous of Dan for being such a great writer?

Blair:
Dan's a writer?

Bree:
You know if we really started dating, after a few months you'd realize you couldn't stand the way that I laugh, I'd hate the way that you chew, and we'd break up.

Nate:
That's a romantic story.

Chuck:
Look, sis, for people like us a college degree is just an accessory. Like a Malawi baby or a poodle.

Blair:
[Gets into bed while Chuck is asleep and snuggles up to him You were right about the dorms. The lighting is awful. You okay?

Chuck:
I am now. [Takes Blair's hand and kisses it]

Chuck:
I came to apologize.

Blair:
So apologize.

Chuck:
That was it.

Blair:
I can't believe you lied to me! Using sex to distract me?!

Chuck:
I learned from the best.

Blair:
That photograph is mine! [exits]

Chuck:
She stole my shoes?

Blair:
I want you to have this.

Chuck:
Why?

Blair:
Because I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.

Dan:
You're being pretty open-minded about this whole Georgina thing.

Serena:
Well, it's just that I've never been more pleasantly surprised than when I started dating Carter.

Dan:
Dating? You're dating Carter Baizen now? Is Chuck not available?

Georgina:
Judging by the size of the sock on the doorknob, I didn't want to knock.

Chuck:
Finally, what happened in Santorini?

Photographer:
Why did you want me to take that girl's picture?

Chuck:
Dumbo could always fly. He just needed a magic feather.

Jenny:
People change, Chuck.

Chuck:
Not you. Not about this. Jenny Humphrey, who used to sit in Brooklyn and look at the lights across the water. Who went toe-to-toe with Blair Waldorf and actually won her respect. You can't tell me that girl still isn't there. Now that the dream is real, you owe it to her to live it.

Jenny:
Blair doesn't want me to be queen.

Chuck:
Maybe we can make her reconsider

Chuck:
Morning, Beautiful.

Blair:
NYU is hell!

Chuck:
What do you expect from a place where men wear sandals?

Blair:
[to nerds] By the way, sandals are not shoes!

Nate:
How have you never heard of Olivia Burke?! I thought you lived in Brooklyn, not a cave.

Chuck:
I'm Chuck Bass and I told you I love you. You're saying I'm easier to win over than a bunch of pseudo-intellectual homesick malcontents. You really insult me like this.

Blair:
It's not how it is.

Chuck:
It's exactly how it is. So the next time you forget, you're Blair Waldorf. Remember I'm Chuck Bass and I love you. [kisses her]

Dan:
The toilets in Tokyo talk!

Bree:
We're southern, so family loyalty is big down there

Blair:
Like slavery! [awkward silence] What? I'm joking.

Lily:
What, you know him?

Rufus:
Um. Oh, yeah, that was-

Georgina:
Your love child! Yup, not dead! Congratulations. It's a boy!

Chuck:
I'm giving you a choice. You can go to the wedding, tell Serena the ugly truth. Even if by some chance she can stomach you after that, you still have to deal with Bree, her family, and a little something they like to call Southern justice.

Carter:
Or?

Chuck:
[To Carter] I'm sick of being your travel agent. This ticket's the last. It's one-way.

Dan:
[To Vanessa] Remind me later to kill you. Please.

Olivia:
[To Vanessa] When you talked me out of meeting Dan's parents, you said it was because they looked down at Hollywood people.

Dan:
And they probably do now. You were pretty annoying.

Blair:
Chuck!

Lily:
Chuck is gone.

Blair:
But I need to talk to him. I need to explain.

Lily:
Blair whatever you needed him to do, do you really think he would have refused you?

Blair:
No. He'd never say no. To anything. I messed up, didn't I?

Blair:
Are you upset because... you kissed a guy?

Chuck:
I'm upset because I kissed somebody that wasn't you... You really think I've never kissed a guy before?

Blair:
Love me?

Chuck:
Always.

Blair:
Morning! Oh, I see the moving in went well!

Chuck:
Hey Blair.

Nate:
Blair..

Chuck:
Excuse the mess. How was dinner? Did you and Serena worked things out?

Blair:
Oh no, she took off immediatly, thank God. Then I had to relieve her for mentor duties. Is that pole artist wearing my agent provocator corset?

Chuck:
...

Blair:
Just make sure she's careful under the high hooks, they pinch. I just came to grab a dress for tonight! [Goes to the other room]

Chuck:
The last time I saw Blair that freakishly calm...

Nate:
...Was when Serena left for boarding school.

Chuck:
And you know as well as I do, the calm won't last. And when it breaks, there are going to be pieces of Blair all over the wall. And I really don't want to clean up that mess.

Nate:
What is she and Serena fighting about this time?

Chuck:
Basically, how each one loves the other more than the other loves her. [Goes to her bag, takes and hides her phone]

Nate:
Can you even fight about that?

Blair:
You might want to ring house keeping. Chocolate leaves a stain! Toodles!!

Gossip Girl:
No matter how far you run, you can never truly escape, everything catches up to you at the end and when it does, it usually kicks your ass.

Lily:
Rufus, teenage girls are nightmares. As soon as they realize that you'll love them no matter what they do, you lose all your power. You just have to wait until they finish college. Or in Serena's case, rebel and NOT go.

Dorota:
Miss Blair loves the Empire State Building. Even though she doesnt want to and she should just admit it and make all our lives easier.

Dorota:
But this is pretty romantic thing he's doing. If not going that means never having Mr. Chuck in your life again. Are you prepared to leave like that?

Blair:
Yes, but even if I'm not, if you let me go anywhere near 34 street there won't be a miracle but a massacre. Now put on your walking shoes; we're going on a date.

Serena:
What time is it?

Dan:
Later than we ever wanted to be …but that would be morning.

Serena:
Last night…

Dan:
Don't even finish those words, unless… unless they end with ...was a mistake, I mean right?

Serena:
Right, my thoughts exactly, I mean we… we're both in relationships.

Dan:
Yeah, yeah it was totally meaningless.

Serena:
I mean we… just fell sleep.

Dan:
Yeah, after a entire bottle of wine, and a lot of taking...

Serena:
...and one kiss.

Dan:
Did that even happen? I'm not sure that even happened…

Gossip Girl:
I used to think that S and lonely boy were the most boring couple on the Upper East side, but what makes them actually great together… is when they're supposed to be with other people.

Blair:
We all try on old clothes, from time to time, may be surprised when they still fit, but that doesn't mean we should wear them again… EVER.

Dan:
Absolutely, I don't wanna jeopardize my friendship with Nate, or my relationship with Vanessa, as much as you don't wanna jeopardize your relationship with Nate, or your friendship with Vanessa. Are you friends with Vanessa?

Nate:
What your dad did was very wrong Serena…

Serena:
That was not for you to decide.

Jenny:
Blair, what are you doing here?

Blair:
Someone has to give you the smack down you so richly deserve. That it's me who gets to do it is just the cherry on top.

Jenny:
Bring it on. I knew when I sent the blast there would be fall out.

Blair:
When're you gonna get it? For three years you've tried to worm your way into our world, but you'll never be a part of it, no matter what you do. This isn't copy cat dressing in Constance, or dumping dairy on your best friends head to prove a point, this is Nate and Serena, that's mythic, you don't mess with that and survive, you're hurting people I love, you're hurting people you love…

Jenny:
I wasn't trying to…

Blair:
Nate loves Serena, Dan loves Vanessa "god knows why", and Chuck loves me, but you Jenny, no one loves you, except your daddy, and after what you pulled yesterday, who knows if that's even true anymore… well I guess you'll find out now…

Dan:
Blair, life is giving you signs, and you're ignoring them because you're afraid of the thing they're signalling you to do, but then you think, what if the signs are good for a reason and ignoring them makes me a coward?

Blair:
Signs are for the religious, the superstitious and the lower class.

Blair:
Bye Georgina, may god save your soul… again.

Nate:
No, a kiss is not nothing, People don't just kiss because they're upset, people kiss because they have feeling for each other. So do you?

Chuck:
Hard way is the only way.

Serena:
That baby right there, he's gonna grow up to be smarter than the rest of them, that would make him feel like an outsider…

Dan:
oh really? Well… You see that baby there? She's gonna grow up to have fabulous hair, and a great smile, but her daddy issues are gonna make it really hard for her to trust people.

Serena:
you wanna take a walk?

Dan:
yeah

Georgina:
And this baby is gonna do somethings to make all the other babies hate her.

Chuck:
Excuse my confusion I didn't expect to see you tonight… or ever again…

Blair:
Sorry I was so late

Chuck:
I waited

Blair:
Dorota went in to labor, she had her baby, I wasn't going to show up, I was resolved not to, every bone try to slow me, every voice in my head screamed don't…

Chuck:
but…

Blair:
…but I didn't listen, I followed my heart because I love you, I can't deny that our path has been complicated, but in the end love makes everything simple…

Jenny:
I wanted to wait, I wanted it to be special…

Blair:
…this night is perfect

Chuck:
oh… there's one thing that would make it even better… I'm so sorry, for the pain I cause you, and I know that I can't take it back but I want to make it up to you, even if it takes me the rest of my life… Blair, will you...

[Dan punches Chuck on the face]

Blair:
HUMPHREY, what are you doing? Have you lost your mind? What the hell are you doing?

Dan:
You, tell her

Blair:
Tell me what? What's going on? [Looks at Jenny and Dan and understands] You didn't.

Chuck:
Blair...

Blair:
You did... [To Jenny] You, get out of here now, and not just out of this hospital but off this island, go and never come back, cause if you ever set one foot in Manhattan ever again, I'll know and I'll destroy you.

Chuck Bass:
Me? I just hate the guy

Jenny:
I'm trying to forget some things, too. Mostly how happy I thought I'd be once I made it in this world.

Chuck:
The world you're looking for only exists from the outside. The only reason I survive in it... is because I always knew it was empty.

Jenny:
Yeah. And now I know, too. I found out the hard way.

Chuck:
The hard way is the only way.