Grey's Anatomy, Season 6

Meredith:
[voiceover] According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can't imagine it's true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance.

Meredith:
He wrote in my hand

Lexie, Bailey, Hunt, Cristina, Shepherd, Sloan, Callie, Webber:
What do you mean he wrote in your hand?

Meredith:
He just grabbed my hand, and he squeezed it and he wrote with his finger.

Derek:
He wrote with his finger?

Meredith:
You know in my hand, he wrote 007.

Bailey:
[grabs Meredith's hand and proceeds to write on it using her finger] Okay, what did I write?

Meredith:
Joe?

Bailey:
N! I did not write JOE!

Cristina:
Are you serious!

Webber:
You mean this might not be O'Malley?

Mark:
This is funny.

Webber:
Did anybody try to phone O'Malleyf? Can we get him on the phone?

[Everybody retrieves their cell phones and start calling]

Meredith:
I'm telling you he squeezed my hand.

Bailey:
[hushes Meredith] Shut it! You don't get to talk anymore! You don't get to talk ever again!

Meredith:
I could have sworn it was George.

[Izzie and Alex come home and run into Derek and Meredith having a quickie on the stairs.]

Meredith:
We're newlyweds!

Izzie:
A post-it wedding does not make you newlyweds!

Meredith:
[voiceover] In medical school, we have a hundred lessons that teach us how to fight off death, and not one lesson on how to go on living.

Meredith:
[voiceover] The dictionary defines grief as keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. As surgeons, as scientists, we're taught to learn from and rely on books, on definitions, on definitives. But in life, strict definitions rarely apply. In life, grief can look like a lot of things that bear little resemblance to sharp sorrow.

[Alex, Derek and Arizona are waiting on a CT myelogram]

Arizona:
McDreamy.

Derek:
I'm sorry?

Arizona:
I get it now the whole, you know, "McDreamy" thing. I didn't, I didn't get it before. But now I get it. You know they call you that, right? [Alex rolls his eyes]

Derek:
[smiles] Yes.

Arizona:
I'm involved, by the way, in case you thought that I was just coming on to you, because I was not. Plus I heard that you got married so congratulations.

Derek:
Yes, thank you.

Alex:
[snickers] You wrote some hokey crap on a post-it note in the residents' lounge. Sorry, but until you're sweating it out in a morning coat with a ball of white taffeta coming at you, you're not really married.

Derek:
[chuckles] Oh, I've consummated mine. I consummate mine all the time. How's that going for you, Karev? Girls talk. You might want to consider that the next time you judge my post-it.

Izzie:
Get up. I mean it get up. Get up! Now go get a life.

Amanda:
I can't.

Izzie:
George was a surgeon. He had a purpose he wanted to save lives and now he doesn't get the chance. Now he doesn't get the chance to do anything anymore. But you do. You could go to medical school, you know. You could hang out with your freaking friends, I don't care what you do. Just go do something with your life because you have one. You lived. You lived and George didn't and I know... I know... that that feels horrible and shocking and terrifying but you lived. So go live your freaking life.

Amanda:
I don't know how.

Izzie:
Nobody does. Nobody knows how. But god have enough respect for George to figure it out cos if I see you sitting on this bench ever again I will kick your ass from here to Sunday.

Alex:
[to Izzie] You died in my arms. You died in my arms, you freakin' died and then you left instructions that I wasn't allowed to save your life! You wanna know what I'm scared of? I'm scared of everything! I'm scared to move! I'm scared to breathe! I'm scared to touch you! I can't lose you. I won't survive. And that's your fault. You made me love you, you made me let you in, and then you freakin' die in my arms!

Lexie:
[voiceover] Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.

Mark:
It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change.

Alex:
And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.

Izzie:
That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive.

Derek:
By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.

Bailey:
Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way.

Owen:
So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.

Meredith:
The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it.

Arizona:
The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.

Callie:
And let it go when we can.

Meredith:
The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again.

Cristina:
And always, every time, it takes your breath away.

Meredith:
There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.

Alex:
Denial.

Derek:
Anger.

Bailey:
Bargaining.

Lexie:
Depression.

Webber:
Acceptance.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Paranoia gives you an edge in the OR. Surgeons play out worst-case scenarios in their heads. You're ready to close, you got the bleeder. You know it but there's that voice in your head asking. What if you didn't? What if the patient dies and you could have prevented it? So you check your work one more time before you close. Paranoia is a surgeon's best friend.

Arizona:
You know, it's not a good idea to piss off your attending.

Cristina:
Oh, I don't know he was upset, I'll apologize.

Arizona:
I wasn't talking about him.

Cristina:
Sorry?

Arizona:
I like kids, and I like their parents, and I like to see them smile. So I like going to get them pudding and playing games with them. Because it makes attaching their arms way more fun. I don't like being used. And I like being lied to even less.

Arizona:
I hate hate hate this merger. Because I hate long-distance relationships. I don't believe in them. So, you can't move to Portland.

Callie:
When I mentioned it this afternoon you didn't seem to mind. You were like 'Move to Portland'.

Arizona:
I didn't know I was allowed to mind. I didn't know if we were girlfriends. But then you said girlfriend, you called me your girlfriend. So, I need to know. Am I your girlfriend?

Callie:
Yeah.

Arizona:
OK. Great. So, yeah, no, you're not moving to Portland. No, what you are going to do is, you're going to the chief's office and beg for-

Callie:
I'm not gonna grovel!

Arizona:
Yes, you are! Seriously, you don't wanna mess with me.

Meredith:
[voiceover] We're all susceptible to it, the dread and the anxiety of not knowing what's coming. It's pointless in the end, because all the worrying and all the making of plans for things that could or could not happen, it only makes things worse. So walk your dog or take a nap. Just whatever you do, stop worrying. Because the only cure for paranoia is to be here, just as you are.

Meredith:
[voiceover] We begin life with few obligations. We pledge allegiance to the flag. We swear to return our library books. But as we get older we take vows, we make promises, we get burdened by commitments, to do no harm, to tell the truth and nothing but, to love and cherish till death do us part. So we just keep running up the tap until we owe everything to everybody and suddenly think... what the.

Lexie:
[to Meredith] I didn't want to do this, I didn't want to have to come to you for anything, ever. So I thought if I looked up your blood type, and it was the wrong one, then that would be it. Then I could just stop thinking about it. But I can't, because you have his blood. And I know that he's not your dad, I know that he was never there for you and I would never ask you to give him anything, he doesn't deserve a thing from you, he doesn't. But he's, he's going to die Meredith. And so I'm asking you to give something to me. I'm asking, I am asking you to give me my dad, because as crappy as he was to you, god, he was wonderful to me. He never missed a single dance recital, he was there at my 5th grade graduation, what is that? That's not even real. I know he's not your dad, I know that. But somehow you have his blood, and I don't. So I'm asking you, give me my dad.

Bailey:
I had five interns. Four of you have been on this table. One of you has cancer, one of you died. You better not pull anything funny on me, Grey.

Webber:
I have responsibilities, to make this hospital the best medical facility it can be, to repair what I've broken, even if it was twenty years ago. If I am now the bad guy, if I am now the villain here... well... so be it.

Meredith:
[voiceover] The thing about being a surgeon, everybody wants a piece of you. We take one little oath, and suddenly we're drowning in obligations. To our patients, to our colleagues, to medicine itself. So we do what any sane person would do. We run like hell from our promises, hoping they'll be forgotten. But sooner or later, they always catch up. And sometimes you find the obligation you dread the most isn't worth running from at all.

Meredith :
[voiceover] When you get sick, it starts out with a single bacterium. One lone nasty intruder. Pretty soon the intruder duplicates. Becomes two. Then those two become four. And those four become eight. Then, before your body knows it, it's under attack. It's an invasion. The question for a doctor is, once the invaders have landed, once they've taken over your body, how the hell do you get rid of them?

Callie:
Daddy.

Mr. Torres:
Calliope.

Callie:
What, what are you doing here?

Mr. Torres:
I came to see you.

Callie:
Why?

Mr. Torres:
Calliope, we used to talk. Every Sunday we used to talk. I'd wait for your call and you'd tell me everything. All about your crazy adventures. Even when you were in trouble you'd still call and we worked it out. We'd always work it out, Mija.

Callie:
Daddy. [hugs] I'm sorry... I'm sorry things got so...

Mr. Torres:
Sure

Callie:
[sighs] But the fact that you came... Daddy is that Father Kevin?

Father Kevin:
Hello Calliope.

Callie:
Wha...Are you tw-two here to... You think you can pray away the gay.

Mr. Torres:
If we could just sit and talk...

Callie:
You can't pray away the gay.

Mr. Torres:
Calliope Iphigenia Torres.

Callie:
You can't pray away the gay!

Mr. Torres:
Leviticus: Thou shall not lie with a man as one lies with a female, it is an abomination.

Callie:
Oh, don't do that daddy! Do'’t quote the bible at me!

Mr. Torres:
The outcry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and the sin is exceedingly grave.

Father Kevin:
Carlos, this is not what we...

Callie:
Jesus: A new commandment that I give unto you, that you love one another.

Mr. Torres:
Romans: but we know that laws-

Callie:
Jesus: He, who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone...

Mr. Torres:
So you admit it's a sin?

Callie:
Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy! Jesus: blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God! Jesus: blessed are those who have been persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven! Jesus is my savior daddy, not you! And Jesus would be ashamed of you for judging me! He would be ashamed of you for turning your back on me! He would be ashamed.

Arizona:
[to Mr. Torres] Most people think that I was named for the state, but it's not true, I was named for a battle ship. The USS Arizona. My grandfather was serving on the Arizona when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, and he saved nineteen men before he drowned. Pretty much everything my father did his whole life was about honoring that sacrifice. I was raised to be a good man in a storm, raised to love my country, love my family, protect the things I love. When my father, Colonel Daniel Robbins of the United States Marine Corps, heard that I was a lesbian he said he only had one question. I was prepared for "How fast can you get the hell out of my house?" But instead, it was "Are you still who I raised you to be?" My father believes in country the way that you believe in God. And my father is not a man who bends, but he bent for me because I am his daughter. I'm a good man in a storm. I love your daughter. And I protect the things I love. Not that I need to; she doesn't need it. She's strong, and caring, and honorable. And she's who you raised her to be.

Meredith:
[voiceover] What do you do when the infection hits you, when it takes over? Do you do what you're supposed to and take your medicine? Or do you learn to live with the thing and hope someday it goes away? Or do you just give up entirely and let it kill you?

Meredith:
[voiceover] In order to get a good diagnosis, doctors have to constantly change their perspective. We start by getting the patient's point of view, though they often don't have a clue what's going on. So we look at the patient from every possible angle. We rule things out. We uncover new information, trying to get to what's actually wrong. We're asked for second opinions, hoping we'll see something others might have missed. For the patient, a fresh perspective can mean the difference between living and dying. For the doctor, it can mean you're picking a fight with everyone who got there before you.

Meredith:
Are the Mercy West people that bad?

Cristina:
They're everywhere and there are more of them than us, and they're kicking our asses. God, I miss Izzie. We need more 'uses', so get back here.

Meredith:
I have to be discharged first. You want to forge Bailey's signature?

Cristina:
No, that'll get me fired. Ooh, ask one of the new ones to do it. Get them fired.

Reed:
They hate us, April. It doesn't matter how good we are, we're gonna fail. Because they were here first and they rule the school, and they hate us.

April:
I'm not gonna let them turn me into someone they hate, I'm easy to like.

Reed:
Actually, it takes a while. I hated you at first.

Arizona:
You left him alone? When were you planning...?

Lexie:
I'm.. I'm sorry, I.. I feel like...

Arizona:
No, you don't get to feel anything! Because he's feeling everything, his every nerve is exposed and raw and we have to make him feel worse before he's gonna feel better. So, if you're having feelings, then you need to shut them down. You need to shut them down and talk to him about his future and remind him that he has one, past all of this pain. And if you can't do that, if you can't do your job, then you find someone who can and you send them to me.

Derek :
Maybe it's not one doctor. Maybe it's too many doctors who don't know each other and who don't trust each other. When I got to that room, it was chaos, because that's the system now: chaos. That has been the system that's been in place since this merger. Your system. I'm saying you should look again at who is responsible."

Meredith:
[voiceover] When we're headed toward an outcome that's too horrible to face, that's when we go looking for a second opinion. And sometimes, the answer we get just confirms our worst fears. But sometimes, it can shed new light on the problem, make you see it in a whole new way. After all the opinions have been heard and every point of view has been considered, you finally find what you were after - the truth. But the truth isn't where it ends, that's just where you begin again with a whole new set of questions.

Derek:
[voiceover] Ask most surgeons why they became surgeons and they usually tell you the same thing. It was for the high, the rush, the thrill that comes from cutting someone open and saving their life. For me it was different, maybe it was because I grew up in a house with four sisters. No, definitely because I grew up in a house with four sisters because it was the quiet that drew me to surgery. The operating room is a quiet place. Peaceful. It has to be in order for us to stay alert, anticipate complications. When you stand in the OR, your patient open on the table, all the world's noise, all the worry that it brings disappears. A calm settles over you, time passing without thought. For that moment, you feel completely at peace.

Isaac:
No, don't close me up. If you get in and it's too complicated, cut the cord. Paralyze me if you must. I survived a war did you know that? I survived a war where they put bodies in to mass graves where there was once a playground. I survived the death of my family, my parents, my brothers and sisters. Then I survived the death of my wife and child when they starved to death in a refugee camp. I survived the loss of my country, of hearing my mother tongue spoken, of knowing what it feels like to have a place to call home. I survived. And I will survive the loss of my legs. If I have to, I'll survive it. OK? But Derek...

Derek:
Yes.

Isaac:
There is always a way when things look like there's no way. There's a way to do the impossible, to survive the in survivable. There's always a way. And you, you and I have this in common. We're inspired. In the face of the impossible, we're inspired. So if I can offer one piece of advice to the world's foremost neurosurgeon. Today if you become frightened instead become inspired. OK, I'm ready now. Put me to sleep.

Lexie:
Hey, I wore a diaper yesterday, yes - and I will wear one today. If it helps get Dr. Shepherd through this surgery, I will wear a diaper. My diaper is awesome. My diaper is hard-core. You wish you had the balls to wear my diaper. I'm gonna wear it, and I'm gonna wear it with pride. And if I have to pee in it? Oh, I'll pee. Because I am a surgeon. This is America. And I will do what needs to be done. So you can kiss my hard-core, diaper wearing ass.

Arizona:
No, no, whoa whoa whoa whoa!

Webber:
Move!

Arizona:
No!

Webber:
Dr. Robbins!

Arizona:
I said no! Dr. Shepherd is operating on the inside of a man's spinal chord right now. Even the most minor disturbance could cause him to make a mistake on that patient - a patient who happens to work here, and whose life I personally would like to see Dr. Shepherd save. So no... you don't get to go in there and be a bully. Not today chief, not on my watch.

Derek:
[voiceover] Ask most surgeons why they became surgeons and they usually tell you the same thing. The high, the rush, the thrill of the cut. For me it was the quiet. Peace isn't a permanent state. It exists in moments. Fleeting. Gone before we even knew it was there. We can experience it at any time, in a stranger's act of kindness, a task that requires complete focus or simply the comfort of an old routine. Everyday we all experience these moments of peace. The trick is to know when they're happening so that we can embrace them, live in them. And finally let them go.

Meredith:
[voiceover] It's impossible to describe the panic that comes over you when you're a surgeon and your pager goes off in the middle of the night. Your heart starts to race. Your mind freezes. Your fingers go numb. You're invested. There's someone's mom, someone's dad, someone's kid. And now it's on you because that someone's life is now in your hands. Surgeons, we're always investing in our patients. But when your patient's a child, you're not just invested, you're responsible. Responsible for whether or not that child survives, has a future. And that's enough to terrify anyone.

Arizona:
This is not general surgery in miniature. These are the tiny humans. These are children. They believe in magic. They play pretend. There is fairy dust in their IV bags. They hope, and they cross their fingers, and they make wishes, and that makes them more resilient than adults. They recover faster, survive worse. They believe.

Webber:
Maybe I can help.

Arizona:
No, no you can't. Because as long as you're standing there breathing over my shoulder, I feel like I'm operating on a stack of dollar bills, 25 million dollar bills, and what I need to be invested in right now is this kid, so please, get the hell out of my O.R..

Arizona:
I love you.

Callie:
[shocked] You do?

Arizona:
I do.

Callie:
I love you too.

Meredith:
[voiceover] They say the bigger your investment, the bigger your return. But you have to be willing to take a chance. You have to understand, you might lose it all. But if you take that chance, if you invest wisely, the payoff might just surprise you.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Doctors live in a world of constant progress and forward motion. Stand still for a second, and you'll be left behind. But as hard as we try to move forward, as tempting as it is to never look back, the past always comes back to bite us in the ass. And as history shows us again and again, those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.

Izzie:
He needs a spinal tap. His falling could have burst an aneurysm and some bleeds show up on a spinal tap that don't on the CT.

Charles:
And some doctors enjoy torturing patients because they messed up and don't know what they're gonna do with the rest of their lives.

Izzie:
You are the one that got me fired. You owe me this, you little bitch. Unless of course you want me to find that snotty Reed, what's her name? Tell her how much you love her. Cause I will.

Adele:
Miranda.

Bailey:
Oh, Adele. Oh I'm so sorry, I sent the Chief into surgery. Do you want me to-

Adele:
What I want is for you to tell me the truth. Are you having an affair with my husband?

Bailey:
I am not having an affair with your husband!

Adele:
I saw the way you handled him just now.

Bailey:
Handled! I did not... handle... there was no handling... we work together.

Adele:
You spend every waking moment together, you finish each other's sentences, you read each other's minds. You're more married to that man than I am.

Callie:
Yeah, but that's just because they're husband and work-wife.

Bailey:
Excuse me?

Callie:
The Chief's your work-husband and you're his work-wife. You look out for each other, you take care of each other, there's nothing wrong with it, it's like me and Sloan.

Mark:
Excuse me?

Callie:
Nobody's talking to you. He's my work-husband but he has a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend, but nothing going on between us.

Mark:
I mean, there was at one point...

Callie:
You're not helping.

Bailey:
Neither one of you are helping. Adele, I promise you there's nothing going on.

Adele:
Something is going on because he hasn't been in his bed all week.

Bailey:
What?

Mark:
Really?

Adele:
The last time he acted like this, disappearing, sleeping at the hospital every night, he was with Ellis Grey. He may not be having an affair with you-

Bailey:
He's not, I promise you. I promise you, he's not.

Adele:
Okay. But wife-wife to work-wife, someone in this hospital is sleeping with our husband.

Alex:
So are you back or...

Izzie:
Oh, did you want me to come back? Cause you told the Chief you had serious doubts about my abilities to be here.

Alex:
What?

Izzie:
You went behind my back and told the Chief I wasn't ready to be here.

Alex:
He was making cuts, I was protecting you.

Izzie:
You got me fired Alex.

Alex:
Is that what you think?

Izzie:
This job was the one thing I had left, the one thing, and you took that away from me. You interfered and got me fired. I have forgiven you for a lot Alex. I've had to forgive you for a lot, but I cannot forgive you for this.

Alex:
You made an assumption. You decided I did something. You didn't ask. You didn't hang around to talk. I am your husband and you didn't give me the benefit of the doubt. So you know what? I can't forgive you either.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Sometimes the past is something you just can't let go of. And sometimes the past is something we'll do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present.

Meredith:
[voiceover] The best gift I ever got was for Christmas when I was ten – my very first suture kit. I used it until my fingers bled, and then I tried to use it to stitch up my fingers. It put me on the path to becoming a surgeon. My point is sometimes the best gifts come in really surprising packages.

Derek:
[referring to money needed to fund new equipment for a boy's surgery] I'll write a check. How much?

Arizona:
I'll split it with you.

Derek:
Thank you.

[both look expectantly at Mark]

Mark:
I have a teenager. What if she wants to go to college?

Arizona:
Have you met her?

Mark:
All right I'm in.

Teddy:
How did Kelsey do?

Cristina:
Er, well.

Derek:
Who's Kelsey?

Bailey:
Er, girl with no heart. I had to do a laparoscopic bowel repair while the poor thing was awake on the table.

William:
Miranda, mind your manners. Even if surgery is your whole life it doesn't mean you have to talk about bowels at the dinner table.

Bailey:
My child is healthy.

William:
Excuse me?

Bailey:
He may not be with me tonight, but he's healthy...

William:
I didn't say he-

Bailey:
He's a well loved boy, and he's a happy boy. And staying in an unhappy marriage...

William:
Now is not the time or the place-

Bailey:
And staying in an unhappy marriage, a marriage that I've outgrown, a marriage full of ultimatums, and numbness and resentment...

William:
Miranda-

Bailey:
That is not the kind of life I want to model for my child. That is not what I want him to believe married love is. And I know what's possible, I know what's out there for me because you taught me well. You and mom showed me what true love looks like, so I chose not to settle, and I'm happier for it. Even if I'm alone at Christmas. My child is healthy, and I'm happy. --You know, part of my happiness is the fact that I got to repair a woman's bowel and save her life today. And that's God's work, which makes this an appropriate Christmas dinner conversation. --I'm happy, and my child is healthy, and that's enough for me today, Dad. That's enough.

Teddy:
What is wrong with you?

Owen:
You.

Teddy:
Me?

Owen:
Yeah you. You come over here... why did you tell me this now?!

Teddy:
Why do you even care?

Owen:
You didn't say a thing. All those times, all those years. So why now?

Teddy:
I don't know.

Owen:
You don't know?!

Teddy:
I don't know, I don't-what does it matter to you, you never felt the same way-

Owen:
Of course I did! Of course I did, I had all those feelings for you Teddy for years, but you never gave me anything.

Teddy:
You were engaged, you were engaged, you were engaged you idiot! [spoken at the same time as below line]

Owen:
You never gave for years! You never gave me one damn hint!

Teddy:
You idiot. I have loved you... forever. I have loved you when I was coupled up. I have loved you when I was single. I have loved you every second of every day...

Owen:
Teddy...

Teddy:
I love you. I'm in love with you.

Owen:
I'm in love with Cristina.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Everyday we get to give the gift of life, it can be painful, it can be terrifying, but in the end it's worth it. Every time. We all have the opportunity to give. Maybe the gifts are not as dramatic as what happens in the operating room, maybe the gift is to try and make a simple apology, maybe it's to understand another person’s point of view, maybe it's to hold a secret for a friend. The joy supposedly is in the giving, so when the joy is gone, when the giving starts to feel more like a burden, that's when you stop. But if you're like most people I know, you give till it hurts, and then you give some more.

Meredith:
[voiceover] We assume the really serious changes in our lives happen slowly, over time. But it's not true. The big stuff happens in an instant. Becoming an adult. Becoming a parent. Becoming a doctor. One minute, you're not, and the next... you are. Ask any doctor, and they can point to the one moment they become a physician. It usually isn't med school graduation day. Whatever it is... nobody forgets it. Sometimes you don't even know anything's changed. You think you're still you and your life is still your life but you wake up one day and you look around and you don't recognize anything. Not anything at all.

Meredith:
[voiceover] You never forget the moment that you become a doctor. A switch flips. Suddenly, you're not playing dress-up anymore. You own the white coat. What you may not notice is the moment that being a doctor... changes you.

Meredith:
[catching Alex and Lexie in bed] Izzie leaves and Mark gets a kid, and you two decide the best way to deal is to get drunk and mash your genitals together?

Alex:
No freaking way you get to judge us or give relationship advice. Besides you were a total dirty mistress like two weeks ago.

Lexie:
Are 23 calling me a dirty mistress?

Meredith:
That was two years ago and his wife didn't have cancer!

Lexie:
Because I've been with like six guys in my whole life. Alex and I, we've done it before. I was recycling, it was like good for the environment.

Alex:
Izzie's gone. I was horny. She was there.

Lexie:
Oh crap, I am a dirty mistress. Oh god, you're gonna tell Derek and then Derek's gonna tell Mark that I'm a whore.

Cristina:
Where have you been? You just disappeared. I left you, like, ten messages. Are you drunk? [Owen grabs her and kisses her, she pulls away] Wait, what? What? What?

Owen:
You make me sad. You think that surgery is going to make you feel... you think that a successful career is gonna make you happy. You think you know things; you know things and nothing else matters. No one else matters. People do matter. I matter. We... we matter. So you don't get to toss me aside. I won't let you.

Meredith:
[voiceover] In surgery, the healing process begins with a cut, an incision, the tearing of flesh. We have to damage the healthy flesh in order to expose the unhealthy. It feels cruel and against common sense, but it works. You risk exposure for the sake of healing, and when it's over, once the incision has been closed, you wait. You wait and you hope that your patient will heal. That you haven't in fact, just made everything worse.

Derek:
[voiceover] We ask a lot of our patients. We put them to sleep. Cut them open. Poke around in their brains and guts with sharp instruments. We ask for their blind trust. Irony is, trust is hard for surgeons, because we're trained from day one that we can't trust anyone but ourselves. The only instincts you can count on are your own. The only skills you can count on are your own. Until one day, you'll leave the classroom and step into the O.R. You're surrounded by others, a team of others. A team that you have to rely on whether you trust them or not.

Lexie:
Today sucks. Mark sucks.

Alex:
Yang got burns on her girl parts.

Lexie:
Oh, wow.

Cristina:
I do not... They're not on my girl parts.

Alex:
Then they're on her ass. Look how she's walkin'.

Cristina:
Don't you two have patients?

Lexie:
How did you get burns on your ass?

Meredith:
[walks up] You paged?

Cristina:
Mer! Thank god. Come, the rest of you, bye. [pulls her over to a bed, she closes the curtain]

Meredith:
Oh my god!

Cristina:
Not so loud!

Meredith:
How did you...? What...? You have grate marks burned into your ass.

Cristina:
Yeah, vent marks. But same difference. [whispering] I was busy having sex. Will you please just dress the wound. Owen's being very caveman-like. It's hot, vaguely disturbing, but mostly hot. I- I think he might still be a little upset that I offered him to Teddy.

[Alex and Lexie pull back the curtain]

Meredith & Cristina:
Alex!

Alex:
Hot cross buns.

Lexie:
Ooh, that's gonna blister.

Lexie:
Is this a sex injury?

Cristina:
Oh my God.

Lexie:
It is. I used to have sex injuries with Mark. Mark was really awesome at leaving you with good sex injuries. [starts sobbing]

Cristina:
Please don't cry on my ass.

Cristina:
[to Owen] Burke. Burke was- He took something from me. He took little pieces of me, little pieces over time, so small I didn't even notice, you know? He wanted me to be something I wasn't, and I made myself into what he wanted. One day I was me Cristina Yang, and then suddenly I was lying for him, and jeopardizing my career, and agreeing to be married and wearing a ring, and being a bride. Until I was standing there in a wedding dress with no eyebrows, and I wasn't Cristina Yang anymore. And even then, I would've married him. I would have. I lost myself for a long time. And now that I'm finally me again, I can't. I love you. I love you more than I loved Burke. I love you. And that scares the crap out of me because when you asked me to ignore Teddy's page, you took a piece of me, and I let you. And that will never happen again.

Derek:
I know it's been a long day, and you're all anxious to get home. But I feel like we got off on the wrong foot this morning. I don't expect to win your trust overnight. But I want each of you to know you have mine. Which is why I felt it was important to personally come in here and apologize. [voiceover] I want to clear some things up. I am neither pro nor anti merger. From this point on, everyone has a clean slate. I am not focused on the past. I'm looking to the future to all the promise this hospital has to offer. I plan to honor Richard Webber and his legacy, not undo it, which is why I'm both humbled and honored to be your new Chief of Surgery.

Meredith:
[voiceover] The surgical scalpel is made of sterilized, carbonized stainless steel. This is a vast improvement over the first scalpel, which was pretty much a sharp stick. Medicine is constantly reinventing itself, that means surgeons have to keep reinventing themselves too. There's constant pressure to adapt to changes. It can be a painful process. But without it, you'll find yourself moving backwards instead of forwards.

Mark:
It must suck to work on Valentine's Day. I don't believe we've met... [Lexie turns around and looks at him] Ahhh! What'd you do to your hair?

Lexie:
I changed it. I.. I colored it. I just... [sighs] Wait, you thought I was someone else. You didn't know it was me, and you were hitting on me?

Mark:
No, no... I pretty much thought that you were some blonde.

Lexie:
You are pathetic. And hypocritical. And slutty.

Mark:
And you are no blonde. You can't pull that off. Blondes are either bad-ass or fun. And you're... you're a brunette.

Lexie:
Quit staring, I'm probably change it back anyway.

Alex:
No, I get it. You get dumped by your boyfriend, and you go for the extreme makeover. Chicks always do that.

Lexie:
I didn't get dumped, okay? I did not do this for Mark. I just... It's Valentine's Day and I wanted to change something, and I could change... I wanted to do something for me. Okay? This, it was for me.

Alex:
How's that different than what I just said? [walks off]

Lexie:
I'm changing it back.

Jackson:
So, Yang's with Hunt, Grey's with Shepherd, Torres with Robbins. And you were with Sloan, until he dumped you? It's a wonder you guys got any work done.

Lexie:
He didn't dump me. He forgot about me. He decided that we were going to start a family, and didn't ask me. He forgot I was even there. He left me lying in dirty dishwater.

Jackson:
What?

Lexie:
Nothing.

Jackson:
I'm pretty.

Lexie:
What?

Jackson:
In my family I'm the pretty one. You know, my eyes, and my smile and my body. I meam, you should see me without shirt on, it's kind of ridiculous. But my family is smart, driven, crazy overachievers. You know? And they look like they're smart. They don't look like me. Which has its perks, except that my family treated me like I'm pretty. They expected nothing from me. Ever. They never pushed me, never thought to. So I had to push myself. Hard. I didn't even tell them I was taking the MCAT's until after I aced them. My point is that you can't just change your hair. Okay? You wanna be unforgettable, you wanna not be mousey? You can't just change your hair. You have to actually change. Just sayin'.

Meredith:
[voiceover] We have to keep reinventing ourselves almost every minute because the world can change in an instant, and there's no time for looking back. Sometimes the changes are forced on us, sometimes they happen by accident, and we make the most of them. We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves. So we change, we adapt, we create new versions of ourselves. We just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last.

Webber:
[voiceover] I've seen a lot of surgery residents come and go in my time and they're all addicted... to surgery. It comes before food, before sleep. It becomes the most important thing, the only thing. What they don't know is that living on that high can eat them alive. Some make it through they come out on the other side. They survive with their sanity intact. They become better doctors and stronger people. I didn't. I broke it. I didn't kill anybody and I give thanks for that every day. But I hurt people. Scared the hell out of myself. I am 45 days sober today. I am Richard and I am a grateful and recovering alcoholic.

Bailey:
Single most important step in the exam process. Anyone?

Jackson:
Physical exam.

Bailey:
No. No chocolate for you.

Cristina:
Lab and radiology evaluation.

Bailey:
Oh! Come on, people now you're embarrassing me.

Lexie:
Patient history.

Bailey:
Thank you! [throws a chocolate to her] Catch.

Webber:
[While he's speaking to attendings, residents, interns nurses in the auditorium.] I solemnly pledge to consecrate my life to the service of humanity. I will give to my teachers the respect and gratitude that is their due. I will practice my profession with conscience and dignity. The health of my patients will be my number one consideration. I will respect the secrets that are confided in me, even after my patient has died. [voiceover] I will maintain by all the means in my power, the honor and the noble traditions of the medical profession. My colleagues will be my sisters and brothers. I will not permit considerations of age, disease or disability, creed, ethnic origin, gender, race, political affiliation, nationality, sexual orientation, social standing or any other factor to intervene between my duty and my patient. I will maintain the utmost respect for human life. I will not use my medical knowledge to violate human rights and civil liberties, even under threat. I make these promises solemnly, freely and upon my honor.

(Based on the Physician's Oath of 1968)

Meredith:
[voiceover] Surgeons are detail-oriented. We like statistics and checklists and operating procedures. Our patients live because we enjoy following the steps but as much as we love to always rely on the numbers, the plan we also know that some of the greatest medical discoveries have happened by accident. Mold: Penicilin. Poisonous tree bark: a cure for Malaria, a little blue pill for high blood pressure, impotence be damned. It's hard for us to accept that it's not always the hard work or attention to detail that will get us the answers we're looking for. But sometimes we just have to sit back, relax and wait for happy accident.

Meredith:
Lexie, this is Alex we're talking about. Emotionally, he's like me three years ago. You can't be having feelings for him. You realize that.

Lexie:
Yeah, of course not. No. It's just sex. Okay? There's no feelings involved.

Meredith:
Right. Because you are a no-feelings type of girl. Your heart lives in your vagina.

Lexie:
It does not... I swear, not this time.

Meredith:
Okay, sure

Lexie:
My heart does not live in my vagina!

Arizona:
You slept with my girlfriend and I find that when I look at you, I want to hit you with a brick.

Alex:
Dude, that was like years ago.

Arizona:
Maybe, but jealousy's a green-eyed monster and if you ask any one of my kids, they'll tell you there's no reasoning with a monster. Dude, run away before I find a brick.

Meredith:
[voiceover] No matter how many plans we make or steps we follow, we never know how our day is going to end up. We'd prefer to know, of course, what curveballs will be thrown our way. It's the accidents that always turn out to be the most interesting parts of our day, of life, the people we never expected to show up, a turn of events we never would have chosen for ourselves. All of a sudden you find yourself somewhere you never expected to be and it's nice, or it takes some getting used to. Still, you know you'll find yourself appreciating it somewhere down the line. So, you go to sleep each night thinking about tomorrow, going over your plans, preparing your lists, and hoping that whatever accidents come your way will be happy ones.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Surgeons aren't complacent people. We don't put our feet up. We don't sit still. Whatever the game is, we like to win. And once we win, we get a new game. We push ourselves; residents, attendings. It doesn't matter how much we achieve. If you're a climber there's always another mountain.

Callie:
Find a grown up who wants what you want, and date, like a grown up.

Mark:
I don't know what that means.

Lexie:
Mark's trying to kill Alex.

Cristina:
What?

Meredith:
Well, I think I mentioned sleeping with Alex was a bad idea.

Lexie:
No, it's not a bad idea. It's happy and easy. You know much mental energy Mark took up? You know, I am telling you, ending it is the best thing that could have happened to me. And for him! Do you know how much happier he'd be if he could just move on?

Meredith:
Looked to me like he was trying to pick up Teddy.

Lexie:
Sure, he'll sleep with her. He slept with Addison. He'll screw anything that moves, but what, I'm supposed to check into a convent? Why is he hanging on like this?

Cristina:
[sarcastic] You're just that good, Little Grey. There's no getting over you.

Lexie:
Oh! [walks off, Cristina laughs]

Meredith:
You clear the room every time. You clear the room.

Lexie:
Mark's moving on. Like really.

Meredith:
Okay, well, that's good, isn't it? Isn't that what you wanted?

Lexie:
[starts crying] No, uh, that's great. That's... perfect. It's perfect.

Meredith:
[voiceover] They take pictures of mountain climbers at the top of a mountain. They're smiling, ecstatic, triumphant. They don't take pictures along the way cos who wants to remember the rest of it. We push ourselves because we have to, not because we like it. The relentless climb, the pain and anguish of taking it to the next level. Nobody takes pictures of that. Nobody wants to remember. We just wanna remember the view from the top. The breathtaking moment at the edge of the world. That's what keeps us climbing. And it's worth the pain. That's the crazy part. It's worth anything.

Owen:
[voiceover] Dying isn't easy. The body was designed to stay alive; thick skulls, strong hearts, keen senses. When the body starts to fail, medicine takes over. Surgeons are arrogant enough to think there's no one we can't save. Like I said dying isn't easy.

Mark:
You missed it. Altman tore Hunt a new one in the cafeteria. Whole hospital's talking about it.

Webber:
Not to me. I walk in a room, and all the conversation grinds to a halt.

Mark:
Oh come on, you don't talk locker room talk in front of the coach.

Webber:
I'm not a coach anymore, I'm a player. I take a shower like everybody else.

Mark:
Richard. You're a little bit like everybody else, but mostly, you're still the coach. It's a sign of respect. You'd be wrong to take it any other way.

Richard:
If I wasn't happily married, I'd hit her, I'd hit her hard.

Alex:
Sir, I think you wanted to say was, "I'd hit that".

Miranda:
I don't think you wanted to say that - at all.

Owen:
[voiceover] Living is better than dying... until it's not. But even if letting a person die is the right thing to do, it's not what surgeons are built for. We are arrogant and competitive. We don't like to lose and death feels like a loss even when we know it's not. We know it's time. We know it's right. We know we did everything we could. But it's hard to shake the feeling that you could've done more.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Psychologists believe that every aspect of our lives, all our thought processes & behavior patterns, are the direct result of our relationship to our parents. That every relationship that we have is really just another version of that first relationship. It's just us trying over and over again to get it right.

Derek:
If anything should happen to me, I don't want it to just be you.

Meredith:
Well we would make pretty babies.

Derek:
So you're thinking about it?

Meredith:
Oh, I'm thinking about it.

Meredith:
[voiceover] It's the most important job in the world. You probably should need a license to do it, but then most of us wouldn't even pass the written exam. Some people are naturals. They were born to do it. Some have other gifts. But the good news is biology dictates you don't have to do it alone. You can waste your whole life wondering, but the only way to find out what kind of parent you'd be is to finally stop talking about it and just do it.

Meredith:
[voiceover] We're doctors - we're trained to care for human beings and we're pretty sure we know what to look for. Cuts, infection, genetic mutation.

Bailey:
What's up?

Lexie:
Doug has fever and rigors and he's starting to get a productive cough.

Alex:
So deal with it. Look, hook guy's tanking. He coughed up blood or something, so they're taking him back to surgery. I want in.

Lexie:
Wait, he coughed up blood? What did it look like, was it like currant jelly? Did he have leukocytosis with a left shift? His P.A.CO2 was 28, right?

Alex:
I don't know, Encyclopedia Brown. I didn't memorize the chart.

Bailey:
Let him go, Grey, he has a surgery he wants to see.

Alex:
Thank you, Dr. Bailey. [leaves]

Lexie:
Dr. Bailey, both patients have productive coughs and signs and symptoms of sepsis. I am probably wrong, but if I'm not, this is infectious.

Bailey:
You're probably not wrong; you're probably right. Why do you want to hand your big save over to Karev who's going to march around the hospital acting like he put it together?

Lexie:
I didn't...

Bailey:
You are handing your power over to a boy because he's giving you sex.

Lexie:
I'm not... I'm...

Bailey:
I'm Dr. Bailey, I know everything. And you have a superpower. That memory of yours is a superpower. And on top of it, you're a good doctor. And yet you're letting Alex Karev treat you like a scut monkey. I don't care how good the sex is, if that's what it costs, you're paying too much.

Lexie:
I'm not. I--

Bailey:
Scut monkey all day.

Callie:
I get it. You watch parents go through horrible, unimaginable pain every day. And you went through horrible, unimaginable pain when you lost your brother and your parents never got over it. But if we had a baby- our baby's not gonna be one of those kids in your NICU. Our baby won't be your brother. I mean, knock on wood, but- Do you know how happy our baby would be?

Arizona:
I'm going to say this once, and then I'm not going to say it again. I'm not broken. I'm not some psychodrama. My lack of interest in having a child is not some pathology that you can pat yourself on the back for having diagnosed. I like my life, I like it the way that it is. I don't want it to change. I thought I liked it with you in it. I hope I am not wrong.

Lexie:
Give me a beer.

Alex:
You screwed me today. That was my patient. You made me look like a moron. Get your own beer.

Lexie:
You can't be an ass to me all day and then expect me to give you respect. You can't be be an ass to me all day and then except me to give you sex. And you can stop with the patronizing nicknames. I am a nice person, who couldn't even bring myself to attempt matricide by Sweet 'N Low. That makes me charming to anybody else. I am a nice person. And I am nice to you. So, whatever your damage is, you better start to be frickin' nice to me or I am not spreading my legs for you anymore, no matter how much I may I want to. Now give me a damn beer!

[Alex hands her a beer]

Meredith:
[voiceover] As doctors, we have an arsenal of weapons at the ready. Antibiotics to kill infections, narcotics to fight pain, scalpels and retractors to removes tumors and cancers, to eradicate the threat. But just the physical threat, for every other kind, you're on your own.

Meredith:
[voiceover] The skin is the largest organ in the body. It protects us. Holds us together. Literally lets us know what we are feeling. The skin can be soft and vulnerable. Highly sensitive. Easy to break. Skin doesn't matter to a surgeon, we'll cut right through it, go inside, find out the secrets underneath. It takes delicacy and sensitivity.

Meredith:
[about an extremely large patient] Now I understand the sensitivity training.

Cristina:
Yeah, no fat jokes.

Bailey:
Yang, you're off the case.

Christina:
I said no fat jo...

Bailey:
Goodbye.

Alex:
Mrs. Corso, I'm sorry about the thing in the cafeteria...

Melissa Corso:
It's easy to make jokes about him. You didn't know him before. You don't know that inside all that is the same man I've always known, to make me laugh 'til I can't breathe. He's been trying to make you guys laugh all day, but you're too disgusted to even smile, or joke with him, make him feel like a person. I brought him here because I thought you would help him, but you're only making him feel worse. So unless you want to tell me the next step to getting him out of here and home, I don't need to hear anything from you.

Cristina:
[to Jackson] That's very insightful of you. You're a super, super sensitive man. You know, let me tell you what you saw today. I reflectively listened to a patient's concerns. I spoke to her in a language she could understand. I clearly stated the possible complications and probable outcomes. That's all you saw today. Me kicking patient sensitivity ass. So go be someone else's dish rag.

Meredith:
[voiceover] No matter how thick-skinned we try to be, there's millions of electrified nerve endings in there. Open and exposed and feeling way too much. Try as we might to keep from feeling pain. Sometimes it's just unavoidable. Sometimes, that's the only thing left: just feeling.

Meredith:
[voiceover] It's a common belief that positive thinking leads to a happier, healthier life. As children, we're told to smile, and be cheerful, and put on a happy face. As adults, we're told to look on the bright side, to make lemonade, and see glasses as half full. Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part though. Your health can fail, boyfriends can cheat, friends can disappoint. It's in these moments, when you just want to get real, drop the act, and be your true scared unhappy self.

Lexie:
Stop fidgeting. Smile.

Alex:
I hate ties. You're the one who's fidgeting.

Lexie:
I'm wearing a thing that sucks in my fat.

Alex:
You don't have any fat.

Lexie:
I couldn't zip the dress without it. I have fat.

Alex:
That's just your ass. I like it fat.

Lexie:
Thank you. That's disturbing, but kind of awesome.

Alex:
Wanna go upstairs and make-out?

Lexie:
We're supporting Derek.

Alex:
Why? This party blows.

Lexie:
Alex, are we a couple?

Alex:
What?

Lexie:
I need to know what we are. Because people ask, and I don't know what to say. I'm over Mark. And I- I don't know if you're over Izzie, but I am over Mark Sloan. For real. And I-- I know that we said that this wasn't gonna be a thing, but I like you. The point is, I wanna know what we are. What this is.

Alex:
[kisses her] We're a thing. Yeah, we're together, we're... we're a thing. Whatever.

Mark:
Lex, I'm still in love with you. I tried not to be, but it didn't work. And Sloane's gone. There's no baby. And I don't wanna sleep around. I want another chance. I'm in love with you.

Lexie:
Karev....he's....Mark, I-I have a boyfriend.

Mark:
I know. I'm saying you could have a husband.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy. Maybe it's this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling - trying like hell to be the happy people we wish we were. Until eventually it hits us, it's been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar.

Meredith:
[voiceover] For most people, a hospital is a scary place. A hostile place. A place where bad things happen. Most people would prefer church, or school, or home, but I grew up here. While my mom was on rounds, I learned to read in the OR gallery, I played in the morgue, I colored with crayons on old ER charts. The hospital was my church, my school, my home; the hospital was my safe place, my sanctuary. I love it here. Correction: loved it here.

Derek:
[seeing April covered in blood] April, what is it?

April:
Did you know I grew up on a farm?

Derek:
What happened?

April:
I... I grew up on a farm, so you know, blood... blood doesn't bother me, I... I slaughtered a pig once. That was a lot of blood. 'Bleeding like a stuck pig.' That's a saying. To bleed like a pig, you know, it means something. But you don't think of people as having that much blood. I mean, you learn in med school how many pints we all have in us, but you don't realize it until you see it. You don't get how much blood... And a skinny person? I mean, my God, Reed, she's like almost anorexic. She's like, five pounds, you wouldn't think she'd have that much blood in her, but she did. She did.

Derek:
[trying to interrupt her] April, April, April! You're in shock. It's alright. Tell me what happened.

April:
Reed's dead. Someone shot her.

Derek:
Police are almost here. I'm gonna leave you here. Are you gonna be okay by yourself?

April:
You're leaving? You just said that nobody leaves, nobody moves, nobody breathes...

Derek:
Nobody but me. I'm the chief. This is my hospital.

Meredith:
Do you wanna talk about it?

Cristina:
No.

Meredith:
Owen I mean.

Cristina:
I know what you mean. I don't want to... I can't... It's just... He doesn't know, who he loves and if it's not me then... I don't want to talk about it. Let's talk about something else.

Meredith:
Okay. You realize you're about to be a godmother.

Cristina:
I'm godmother? Okay, what do I have to do? Talk god to the fetus? 'Cause I’m not gonna do that.

Meredith:
It means, you take care of the kid if I die.

Cristina:
Derek takes care of the kid if you die.

Meredith:
If we die, if we die.

Cristina:
So, if you and Derek are on a plane crash and you die, the kid is mine?

Meredith:
Yes.

Cristina:
I have to admit, I kind of hope you and Derek die just a little bit. So I can raise the kid with decent priorities.

Meredith:
I have priorities.

Cristina:
Oh?

Meredith:
Surgery.

Cristina:
Oh, okay then you can raise a good little surgeon. I take it back.

Derek:
I know your loss. I lost my father when I was a kid. Two guys killed my father for his watch right in front of me. Right in front of me. I didn't become a doctor because I wanted to be God. I became a doctor because I wanted to save lives. Look at me. Please look at me in the eye. I'm a human being. I make mistakes. I'm flawed. We all are. Today, I think for you is just a mistake. You want justice. You want somebody to pay. You're a good man. I can see that in your eyes. Can you see it in mine? Can you?

Derek:
[voiceover] The human life is made up of choices. Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. And then there are the choices that matter. To love or hate. To be a hero or to be a coward. To fight or to give in. To live. Or die. Live or die. That's the important choice. And it's not always in our hands.

Derek:
I'm not gonna die, I promise.

Meredith:
Good, 'cause that would be the worst breakup ever.

Meredith:
[to Mr. Clark] Shoot me.

Cristina:
Meredith.

Meredith:
You want justice right? Your wife died, I know what happened. Derek told me the story. Lexie Grey is the one that pulled the plug on your wife, she's my sister. Dr. Webber, he was your wife's doctor. I'm the closest thing he has to a daughter. And the man on the table, I'm his wife. If you wanna hurt them, the way that you hurt, shoot me. I'm your eye for an eye.

Cristina:
Meredith!

Meredith:
You tell Derek that I love him and that I'm sorry.

Cristina:
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. She's pregnant. You wouldn't shoot a woman who's pregnant. Please.

Webber:
[to Mr. Clark] I've lived. I've really really lived. I've failed. I've been devastated. I've been broken. I've gone to hell and back. And I've also known joy. And passion. And I've had a great love. See death for me is not justice. It's a... end of a beautiful journey. And I'm not afraid to die. The question is, are you? A life in prison or an afterlife... with your wife. Me or you? Your choice.

Derek:
[voiceover] Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. Live or die. Hero or coward. Fight or give in. I'll say it again to make sure you hear me. The human life is made up of choices. Live or die. That's the important choice. And it's not always in our hands.