Happy Days, Season 3

Fonzie:
Hey, Mr. Cuningham, it's all over. Would you join us, please?

[Richie storms into Fonzie's "office"]

Fonzie:
What's wrong with the kid?

Potsie:
His date walked out on him.

Arnold:
OK, I looking for another loud-mouth volunteer. [brief pause] No volunteer? Good, very good.

Fonzie:
Cunningham, with that Howdy Doody face, you could only be so tough. But I'll tell you somethin'. I'll tell you somethin'. Now, with a li'l practice, there's always hope.

[brief pause, then Richie grabs a hold of Fonzie's shirt real tight]

Richie:
[screams bloody murder] DON'T EVER GRAB ME AGAIN!!!!

Fonzie:
What?!

[Richie lets go of Fonzie's shirt]

Richie:
[in a pleasant tone] Just practicin'.

Fonzie:
Well there. You see, it wasn't bad. It's not good, either. Wasn't bad. Now, listen; what you gotta do is you gotta, like, don't yell. You gotta keep it low, see? Now, make it more threatening.

Richie:
[threateningly] Don't ever grab me again.

Fonzie:
All right, now, clench your teeth.

Richie:
[clenches his teeth with his lips] Don't ever grab me again.

Fonzie:
Not your lips, your TEETH!

Richie:
[clenches his teeth with his entire teeth] Don't ever grab me again.

Fonzie:
Hey, that's good. Now, raise up your chin and look me square in the eye.

Richie:
[looks up at Fonzie in the eye and clenches his teeth] Don't ever grab me again.

Fonzie:
All right, now, saunter. Saunter!

Richie:
[saunters right to the door and still clenches his teeth] Don't ever grab me again! [Vivian appears, and Richie looks up at her like the Fonz told him] Don't ever grab me again!

Vivian:
[shocked] I've lost counts. Do you want, I mean, I should start over again?

Richie:
[still clenches his teeth at Vivian] I mean, don't come back for another hour! [Vivian disappears, scared and shocked, and Richie smiles to show Fonzie how it works] Hey, how's that, Fonz?

Fonzie:
[worries about Vivian] Well, I wanted her back now.

[Richie appears at the breakfast table in the kitchen]

Joanie:
Hey, Rich.

Marion:
Good morning, Richie. Would you like Corn Flakes for breakfast, dear?

Richie:
[clenches his teeth at his mother] I never want Corn Flakes again. Oatmeal.

Marion:
Well, I thought you liked Corn Fla--

Richie:
[slaps the table, then screams at her] OATMEAL!!!!

Marion:
I'll make oatmeal. [storms to grab a canister of "Quaker Oats" oatmeal, then looks at her son, shocked, with her hand to her heart]

Howard:
[shocked, then angry] What kind of a way is that to talk to your mother?!

Richie:
[sweetly] Oh, I'm sorry, Mom. Corn Flakes are OK. You see, I tried out some of the advice that the Fonz gave me the other night. And he said that if you sound tough, people listen, and it works!

Howard:
Boy, I say! [to Marion, pointing to Joanie and Richie from right to left] This one with her "hi-schow" and this one yelling like King Kong! [throws his napkin on the table and storms to the door] Who could eat breakfast around here?! I'm going down to the store.

Marion:
You're going nowhere. Sit down! [Howard sits right back down] And start eating, Howie! All of you, EAT! [smiles and have her thumb up] And chalk one up for the Fonz.