Holby City

Joseph:
still spreading peace and love wherever you go I see.

Jac:
Was I talking to you?

Jac:
I bet you think it's really funny making me out to be an imbecile in front of Jayne Grayson.

Donna:
Oh I think you did that all by yourself.

Jac:
You set me up.

Donna:
Yeah? Well what about the mysterious disappearing CT scan, not to mention the dead battery in Mike's bleeper.

Jac:
Oh so it's Mike now.

Donna:
Yeah, he's a mate of mine. Do you know what they are?

Jac:
Very disappointed in you Donna(turns around and starts to walk off)

Joseph:
Ah Miss Naylor, and how was your day?

Jac:
Get stuffed.

Medical student:
Grovel

Jac:
It's not in my nature

Medical student:
It's good for the soul

Jac:
I don't have one

Connie:
You can either have me-Doctor Death-or no-one.

Zubin:
For the first time ever, the NHS has more managers than beds. Did you know that?

Helen Grant:
Your point?

Zubin:
I've got a rather revolutionary idea. You can take it to your next Trust meeting if you like. Get the managers down on all-fours, throw blankets over them - and hey presto!

Ric:
To Helen Grant. People management. Not really your forté, is it?

Mark:
The drinks are on me.

Chrissie:
Who do you think you are? The Milky Bar Kid?

Connie:
Do you get altitude sickness?

Will:
What?

Connie:
From your moral high ground.

Rosie:
I'm 40. There's something I'm missing. Oh, yeah, a baby. Pass me the yellow pages.

[Carrying out an operation that Connie has specifically ordered them not to carry out.]

Will:
We need to get through this as quickly as possible - every minute on the table is putting an extra strain on her heart.

Mubbs:
It's not something I can rush. If I deliver too much fluid or too quickly it may cause the placenta to detach.

Will:
It's Connie detaching my testicles that I'm concerned about.

Zubin:
Mrs Beauchamp, I have to admit that you have the leadership skills of an eight-year-old with a Kalashnikov.

Lola:
As my grandma used to say, "If you look for a peck of trouble, don't gripe when you find a bushel."

Ric:
[sarcastically] As ever, your grandma's wisdom astounds me.

Lola:
As Grandma used to say, "All mouth and no trousers makes Jack a dull boy".

Ric:
Is it possible your grandma was a little confused?

[Reading patients' comment cards in the family-planning clinic.]

Mickie:
[smirking] We've got some really good comments.

Donna:
"I never knew you could get free condoms here. Now I won't have to re-use my old ones." How gross is that?