Justice League, Season Five

Key:
Here we are Mr. Luthor. Your benefactor is looking forward to meeting you.

Lex Luthor:
Does the mystery man have a name?

Gorilla Grodd:
No need to be insulting, Lex - I'm far superior to any man.

Shayera:
Why would you even try to move a prisoner that dangerous without calling us?

Police captain:
Maybe because we thought we could do our jobs without help from the mighty Justice League.

Shayera:
And yet, here we are.

King Faraday:
You guys want some coffee? Apparently I got nothing better to do here.

Superman:
Sorry, we got caught up in the work.

King Faraday:
Special Agent King Faraday. I'm the new liaison between the Attorney General's office and the Justice League.

Aztek:
Good to meet you. I'm -

King Faraday:
Aztek. I've been well briefed on all of you.

[Flash is staring at Fire from across the room]

Shayera:
Why don't you just go talk to her?

Flash:
What, me? Talk to her? No way!

Shayera:
Yeah, you'd probably be wasting your time anyway. I hear she's...you know...

Flash:
...

Shayera:
Brazilian.

Flash:
Ha, ha.

Shayera:
If you're afraid to talk to her, I'll tell her for you.

Flash:
[Running into her path] Don't!

Shayera:
You are so very sad.

Flash:
That thing's gonna blow! You need both hands to help Shayera - drop me!

[Fire is uncertain; Flash winks - Fire smiles and lets go]

Flash:
[in freefall] Sure hope I think of something before I hit the ground...

Shayera:
He told you to drop him?

Fire:
He's a senior member of the team!

Shayera:
You know he can't fly, right?

Flash:
[Hovering above the ground by spinning his arms] Hey ladies, check me out! I'm just like a helicopter! [Loses balance and crashes to the ground] I'm sorta like a helicopter...

Shayera:
Don't you ever scare me like that again! [stalks off]

Flash :
[To Fire] She loves me. She's like the big sister I never had, only... you know. Short.

Flash:
War wheels, robot condors...you got a pretty goofy security system here.

Chuck Sirianni:
Yeah. Good times.

Chuck Sirianni:
Can't fix everything by hitting it.

Dreamslayer:
You think you can defeat me with a bubble?!?

[Dreamslayer uses his flame with more intensity in an attempt to break the bubble, the air runs out with Dreamslayer surrounded by smoke, Lantern dissolves the bubble and watches as Dreamslayer falls on top of a car]]

Green Lantern:
It's a really good bubble.

[Shayera is about to get onto an elevator]

Green Lantern:
Shayera, I wanted to - [doors open; sees Shayera in an evening gown] Judas Priest!

Shayera:
Problem?

Green Lantern:
No, no, it's just, uh... I've... never seen you in a dress before.

Shayera:
You don't like it?

Green Lantern:
It's, uh... fetching.

Shayera:
If you want one for Vixen, I can tell you where I got it.

[Both get closer, about to kiss]

Green Lantern:
[clears throat] Listen...

[Batman gets on the elevator]

Batman:
Glad I caught you before you did something stupid.

Shayera:
Aliens? Well, then he must be a lunatic, because we know there's no life on other planets.

Batman:
There's more.

Shayera:
What?

Batman:
Our Mr. Hall spends quite bit of time on the Internet.

Shayera:
Dang, lock him up!

Batman:
He frequents the "I Hate Hawkgirl" bulletin boards.

Shayera:
That doesn't mean... "Boards"?! How many are there?

Batman:
Fifty-seven. Web rings. Unaffiliated sites number in the hundreds...

Shayera:
Forget I asked!

Green Lantern:
You should take backup.

Shayera:
[Glares]

Green Lantern:
I meant Batman! I - we don't want you walking into a trap.

Shayera:
[Picking up Thanagarian dagger] I can take care of myself, thanks.

Batman:
The point is-

Shayera:
The point is you don't trust me. Either of you.

[Walks to elevator]

Shayera:
Don't wait up.

Carter:
The trick is the raised glyphs. If you push them in the right order, they deactivate all the traps down here.

Shayera:
And if you get it wrong?

Carter:
Well, we're already in a tomb, so that's handy...

[After Carter reveals that he believes he was "Hawkman" in a previous life.]

Shayera:
I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you... exactly. I just... I've got the worst taste in men.

Carter Hall:
I'm serious, Shayera.

Shayera:
I know you are. And I'm in a lost Egyptian tomb with my stalker. The worst part is I'm going to have to listen to John and Batman saying "I told you so."

Shayera:
How stupid do you think I am?

Batman:
Scale of one to ten?

Stargirl:
She's always "blah, blah, blah, my cousin, blah, blah blah blah, my cousin." Like we don't know who she means. "Check me out, I'm Supergirl!"

Pat Dugan:
Ask me, the only thing that matters is we all pulled through.

Stargirl:
Shut up, Pat. It wasn't World War III, it was a giant turtle.

Pat Dugan:
If I was you, I wouldn't talk behind somebody's back, especially when they got super-hearing.

Green Lantern:
Let's get this over with. Kara, you...

[Supergirl leaps off the battlements into the fray with a sword]

Green Lantern:
Fine.

Wonder Woman:
Agent Faraday - what are you doing here?

King Faraday:
Not smoking. Want some? [offers Wonder Woman gum]

Wonder Woman:
No thanks.

King Faraday:
I'm here with the Special Security Team - the Vice President is attending. But you know that already, I saw you reading him the riot act earlier.

Wonder Woman:
I'm not much of a diplomat.

King Faraday:
Don't sell yourself short, lady - you're an international incident waiting to happen. [walks off] By the way, if you raise your voice to the VP again, my men are under orders to shoot you. [he pops his gum and points a finger at her, miming a gun. She holds up an arm, showing that she is wearing her bracelets underneath her business suit, and taps her nail against one.]

Wonder Woman:
J'onn, I've got a situation.

Martian Manhunter:
Watchtower sensors have picked up the earth tremors from your location. I knew you were on the scene and assumed you could handle it.

Wonder Woman:
Well, I can't. I'm outnumbered, and I'm not feeling well.

Martian Manhunter:
We're still shorthanded. I could spare Green Arrow, and... Mr. Terrific.

Wonder Woman:
Bring who you want J'onn, but I need you!

[After escaping from an ice barrier around him]

Green Arrow:
And Black Canary said a buzz saw arrow was self indulgent.

Henchman:
What're you doing in here?

[Green Arrow knocks him out]

Green Arrow:
Well, for one thing, it's freezing outside.

Killer Frost:
[To J'onn] Let me go, freak! Or so help me, I'll give you frostbite in places you didn't even know you had places!

Killer Frost:
Kiss my frosty butt!

King Faraday:
Attention, unidentified craft. This is Special Agent King Faraday. Your vessel is currently surrounded by three United States Navy Seawolf-class submarines. While I strongly suggest that you surrender immediately and prepare to be boarded, I really enjoy firing Trident missiles at tiny little subs, so the decision's entirely up to you.

[Wonder Woman reads from The Rime of the Ancient Mariner as Prince Jon's body and ship are sent into the Sun.]

And now all in my own country

I stood on the firm land!

The Hermit stepped forth from the boat

And scarcely he could stand.

O shrieve me, shrieve me , holy man!"

The Hermit crossed his brow.

"Say quick," quoth he, "I bid thee say--

What manner of man art thou?"

Forthwith this frame of mine was wrenched

With a woeful agony,

Which forced me to begin my tale;

And then it left me free.

Since then, at an uncertain hour

That agony returns;

And till my ghastly tale is told,

This heart within me burns.

I pass, like night, from land to land;

I have strange power of speech;

That moment that his face I see,

I know the man that must hear me;

To him my tale I teach.

[After quickly dashing into a janitor's closet]

Flash:
(as Wally West) Watchtower, table for one.

Orion:
(to Batman) I can't believe you let that buffoon manipulate you. You'd never catch me at one of those museum openings. (Batman glares at him) It's not black tie, is it?

Flash:
Mirror Master!

Mirror Master:
You're quick as ever.

Flash:
Yeah? Well, you're... you're not really all there!

Mirror Master:
Oh, nice try. If you'd had another minute you'd probably think of a decent comeback.

[Flash is tied to a giant rocket-powered boomerang]

Flash:
 :[To Captain Boomerang] I swear, when I get outta this, I'm gonna find you and hurl all over you!

Orion:
Flash?

Flash:
Hey, guys.

Orion:
You're tied to a very large boomerang.

Flash:
Yeah...?

[Flash, Batman, and Orion enter a bar to confront the Trickster]

Batman:
Where are the others?

Trickster:
Those crabby hacks can go plug a hole for all I care. But I'm not about to rat 'em out!

Batman:
Orion?

Orion:
[grabs Trickster] Talk, while you still have a jaw!

Flash:
Hey hey! Would you guys please take it down a notch? Let me handle this. [leads Trickster back to the bar and sits with him] James, you're off your meds, aren't you?

Trickster:
Better off without 'em. Take 'em if I start feeling down.

Flash:
You know that's not how the medicine works. You're not well!

Trickster:
I'm fine. You wanna throw some darts?

Flash:
No. Listen, James. You're wearing the suit again!

Trickster:
I am? [examines his clothing] Well, whaddaya know?

Flash:
Here's the deal, buddy. Tell me where those guys went, and I'll come see you in the hospital. We'll play darts...! The soft kind.

Trickster:
Okay, they're gonna ambush you at the Flash Museum.

Flash:
See? That's all we needed! [gets up to leave with Batman and Orion] Come on, we better get over there.

Orion:
What about your enemy?

Flash:
Oh, right! [Calls to Trickster] Dude, soon as you finish your drink, turn yourself in!

Trickster:
[raising his mug] Got me again, Flash!

Orion:
(about Flash) Central City builds statues to this... fool. Who makes bad jokes, and concerns himself with pitiful men like the Trickster. I don't understand.

Batman:
No... you don't.

Orion:
Now I understand. You play the fool to hide a warrior's pain.

Flash:
Dude. Bad guys went down, and no one got hurt. You know what I call that? A really good day.

The Master:
And yet, here you are.

Deadman:
"Here you are"? What kind of lousy wisdom is "Here you are?"

Superman:
Come on, Bruce. I know a burger place in Metropolis that has the best fries on the East Coast. And the milkshakes are so thick- (is possessed by Deadman)

Deadman:
I NEED YOUR HELP!

Wonder Woman:
That's pretty thick.

(Much later, after Deadman leaves Superman's body)

Superman:
...you have to eat them with a spoon! (looks around) What am I doing in Africa?

Wonder Woman:
(angered because Deadman possessed her to fight Devil Ray) Next time, ask permission!

Superman:
Is everything okay?

Wonder Woman:
Well, I'm sort of missing Flash's obligatory joke about how Grodd made a monkey out of us.

Superman:
Just couldn't let it go unsaid.

Wonder Woman:
Obligatory.

[After Gorilla Grodd's plan has failed]

Lex Luthor:
Since there's only one monkey left around here, I'm assuming that the Justice League found a way to stop the carrier wave.

Gorilla Grodd:
There's more than one way to peel a banana. Next time--

Lex Luthor:
[Drawing a gun] I wasn't going to do this for another couple of weeks, but seriously - turning all of humanity into apes? That was your master plan?! [Shoots Grodd, then turns to the other villains] Listen up! From now on, I'm in charge of this operation. Anybody got a problem with that?

[No one challenges him]

Tala:
No problem at all... baby.

Amanda Waller:
Wade. You know better than to dwell on the past.

General Eiling:
I'm talking about right now. The Justice League is still the single greatest threat to global security.

Amanda Waller:
I used to believe that too. But remember: we used to say the same about the Soviets. Our enemy is never as evil as we imagine... And maybe we're never quite as good.

General Eiling:
Nuts. Don't tell me the bleeding hearts in Congress got to you.

Amanda Waller:
I'd eat them alive.

Soldier:
[in General Eiling's grip] Don't kill me!

General Eiling:
I wouldn't kill you, soldier. You're just doing your job. And now I'm going to do mine...

Vigilante:
Ha! The exact second the movie's over, we get a mission. Dang if that ain't lucky.

Shining Knight:
I still say this Clint Eastwood dishonored himself when he refused to - what was it? "Play by the rules"?

Vigilante:
Partner, your medieval upbringing has done left ya' unschooled in the ways of the movin' picture.

Shining Knight:
No, his proper duty is to his police captain. I see why they call him "dirty." He besmirches his order.

Vigilante:
Sir Justin, if you're gonna be watchin' stuff on my big TV with the 5.1 surround sound, you had best watch what you say about Mr. Clint Eastwood.

Shining Knight:
I'd slay the ogre Blunderbore all over again rather than put myself on display in this manner. Even though that ogre turned out to be-

Vigilante, Stargirl, S.T.R.I.P.E. and Green Arrow:
Morgaine le Fey.

Green Arrow:
We've all heard it.

Shining Knight:
...'Tis a good story.

Stargirl:
So, what? Since we don't have superpowers it takes five of us to replace one Superman?

Police officer:
Excuse me. I just want to thank you Justice League guys for turning out in force. It means a lot to us.

Green Arrow:
Hey, we can't thank you enough. You're the real heroes.

Shining Knight:
It's you the people come to honor.

Stargirl:
Great. Now I'm petty.

Green Arrow:
You see where it says "Heroes one and all"? That's what it's all about. The crowd doesn't care who can bench press a mountain, or shoot lasers out of their ears.

Old lady:
Where's Superman?

Teenager in the crowd:
How come none of the good ones are here?

Stargirl:
We're taking this someplace else. Haven't you ever heard of innocent bystanders?

General Eiling:
You ever hear of acceptable losses? You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. This country is halfway down the toilet because of you super-powered types.

Stargirl:
For the record, I don't have powers, pottymouth. IT'S THE STAFF.

General Eiling:
Then you're just another egg. (Smashes Stargirl)

Vigilante:
You hit 'im high, I'll hit 'im low!

Green Arrow:
Whatever!

Green Arrow:
Well, you wanted Superman? Now you've got--[Speedy and Crimson Avenger teleport in]-- The Crimson Avenger and my ex-sidekick.

Speedy:
Ex-partner.

Green Arrow:
Speedy, we gotta do this now?

General Eiling:
Oooh, now I'm scared.

General Eiling:
You spoiled, rich little twerp!

Green Arrow:
I think he means me.

Speedy:
Oh. For a second, I was all mad.

Green Arrow:
You still got your quantum arrow?

Speedy:
Yeah, but you said...

Green Arrow:
This is an emergency!

General Eiling:
Superman, you coward! All your men are down, and you won't even show your face!

Shining Knight:
He cannot hear even your bellowing, monster. As we speak, Superman rescues an entire star system a universe away. Do your worst - I'll not let you harm another.

General Eiling:
I do what I do in service to my country.

Shining Knight:
Once, at the word of my lord King Arthur, I was ordered to lay waste to an entire village. I knew my king's heart could not be so unjust, so I spared them all.

General Eiling:
Then you're a lousy soldier.

[Eiling punches the Shining Knight in the jaw]

Shining Knight:
There it is...the creeping moral decay of the past thousand years.

[Shining Knight swings his sword at General Eiling who dodges easily]

Shining Knight:
Arthur thanked me, oaf! Had I been wrong, I would have handed over my sword and left the court in shame.

[General Eiling slams Shining Knight in the ground]

General Eiling:
Save yourself a hospital's day and stand down, that magic armor won't help you.

Shining Knight:
Have at thee!

[Shining Knight tries to punch General Eiling but is slammed in the ground again]

General Eiling:
You are a relic, in this world, power is the only thing that matters. You and those no name heroes, you are just people, in the great scheme of things nothing you do has the least bit of significance. [Shining Knight rises again but General Eiling punches him again and sends away] I'll waste you and a billion like you before I let any power rival America's. It's my duty.

Shining Knight:
You don't know what the word means.

General Eiling:
You can't win.

Shining Knight:
I'll die as befits a knight, defending the weak.[Shining Knight falls to his knees]

General Eiling:
Why don't you give up?

Shining Knight:
Why don't you?

Old Woman:
How many of us do you have to kill to make us safe?

General Eiling:
They're the ones I'm after, not you. I'm not the menace, metahumans are. Superpowered beings.

Boy:
YOU'RE the only one here with superpowers.

[Eiling hesitates, then drops the car he was holding]

General Eiling:
All right. I've become what I hate - I'll give you that.

Shining Knight:
Hold. (To old woman) I have yet to thank you.

Old Woman:
No need to thank me, son. You just get better. World still needs protectin', you know.

Sinestro:
After Grodd tried to turn the world into apes, you can imagine how seriously we take something like that. What are you going to do, make everybody bald?

[The Flash (in Lex Luthor's body) walks out of a bathroom stall.]

Doctor Polaris:
Ahem.

Flash-in-Lex:
What?

Doctor Polaris:
You gonna wash your hands?

Flash-in-Lex:
No! 'Cause I'm evil!

Flash-in-Lex:
My fellow bad guys, I, Lex Luthor, your leader, will speak now about my, Lex Luthor's plan. My... villainous, villainous plan. Question the plan at your peril. Uh... Any questions?

Angle Man:
We all get a cut, right?

Flash-in-Lex:
Watch your step, my evil minion. You presume too much! One of these days, you'll go too far.

Bizarro:
[Raises his hand] Me got answer.

Flash-in-Lex:
Ah, excellent. Do enlighten us.

Bizarro:
Ever since you plug into monkey's head, you act perfectly sane and rational. Am you Bizarro's mommy?

Lex-in-Flash:
[runs up to a mirror] If nothing else, I can at least learn the Flash's secret identity. [Removes Flash's cowl, revealing the face of Wally West] ...I have no idea who this is.

Tala:
Just rest in here.

[pulls "Lex" into a closet]

Flash-in-Lex:
Hey - that's not restful.

Flash-in-Lex:
Me, the Flash? You've, like, totally lost it, Grodd. I'm Lex Luthor!

Grodd:
And I'm Charlton Heston.

Flash-in-Lex:
You, evil-head guy! What's your part in this plan?

Evil Star:
I'm not in the plan.

Flash-in-Lex:
[pause] Exactly! Pop quiz! Everyone tell me his or her part in the plan.

Flash-in-Lex:
Lex Luthor is pleased.

Lex-in-Flash:
Attention! The man you think is Luthor is actually a Justice Leaguer disguised as me. Repeat: he is not Luthor.

Flash-in-Lex:
...I, Lex Luthor, find that preposterous.

Green Lantern:
It sounds like Wally, but is there any way to be sure?

Flash:
You want proof? Until he went off into the Marines, GL's nickname was-

Green Lantern:
Stop! It's him. Man, you promised never to repeat that story!

Flash:
I know, I was just messing with your head.

Mister Terrific:
Well, can you tell us anything about Grodd's Secret Society? Where's the headquarters?

Flash:
I don't know. In a swamp?

Tala:
Lex? Is that really you?

Lex Luthor:
Of course it's me, you twit.

Tala:
[Disappointed] Oh.

[Huntress is watching Black Canary while talking on a cell phone with The Question, who is searching a cold storage area]

Huntress:
I'm telling you Q, Canary's totally off her game. Think she's moonlighting? Maybe she's stepping out on Green Arrow...

The Question:
The deeper mystery here is why do you even care? Isn't this the woman who beat the snot out of you a few months back?

Huntress:
She got a lucky shot in! Okay, five or six lucky shots. Anyway, that's not the poin-

The Question:
[takes the lid off of a container.] Aha! As I suspected - thirty-two flavors.

Huntress:
There's something wrong here, Q, I can feel it.

The Question:
I'm the conspiracy theorist, and even I don't see anything.

Huntress:
[pauses; sighs] So... what are you wearing?

The Question:
Blue overcoat. Fedora.

Huntress:
...You really stink at this.

The Question:
Orange socks?

[Huntress hangs up]

Huntress:
You sure you're okay?

Black Canary:
Worried?

Huntress:
Curious.

Vixen:
I don't want to hurt you, Shayera.

Shayera:
But I wanna hurt you!

Vixen:
Just when we were starting to get along.

Huntress:
Looks like we're in this together.

Black Canary:
If you call me "girlfriend", I'm going to dropkick you into the next county.

Huntress:
Don't get all sentimental on me.

[Vixen pulls the League communicator out of Shayera's ear, freeing her from Roulette's mind control]

Shayera:
I don't think I want to know...

Vixen:
We're in a cage match fighting to the death!

Shayera:
Yeah, see?

Bouncing Boy:
I know you're a level 12 mega-genius, but you are seriously out of your mind.

Supergirl:
Well?

Green Lantern:
Well what?

Supergirl:
Aren't you gonna give me notes on how badly I screwed up?

Green Lantern:
No notes. There's nothing more I can teach you.

Brainiac 5:
My name is...

Supergirl:
Brainiac!

Brainiac 5:
That's right, how did you... uh, oh!

Brainiac 5:
Yes, I am a Brainiac, but I'm not a machine. I'm organic. The universe-conquering Brainiac you knew is my distant ancestor. Over time he learned to pass down his code biologically. I am Brainiac 5. Think of me as the black sheep of my family, dedicated to doing good to make up for my ancestor's legacy of evil.

Green Lantern:
And you demonstrated that by kidnapping us?

Green Lantern:
Time travel, swell.

Bouncing Boy:
It's a real thrill for me to meet you, sir. You're the famous John Stewart, father of...

Green Lantern:
You wanna shut up before you create a time paradox?

Supergirl:
Just because he's seriously cute, doesn't mean we can trust a Brainiac!

Green Arrow:
I'm not getting a bad vibe off the kid.

Green Lantern:
(to Supergirl) And neither are you apparently. "Seriously cute", huh?

Bouncing Boy:
Y'know, Brainy, being organic and having a heart - not the same thing.

Brainiac 5:
[Caught by Supergirl] That was unnecessary; my belt protects me from any impact.

Supergirl:
Maybe I was just trying to cop a feel.

Supergirl:
[Fighting the Fatal Five] So what's your power? Super strength? Speed?

Brainiac 5:
I have a 12th level intellect...

Supergirl:
Great, you can knock him out with your diploma.

Supergirl:
(To Brainiac 5) I have to know, why did you save me first?

Brainiac 5:
My decision was based on pure logic.

Green Arrow:
Really, 'cause Green Lantern's the most powerful.

Brainiac 5:
No offense, but I don't think you can follow the reasoning of a 12th level intellect such as my own.

Green Arrow:
...Guess not.

Green Arrow:
[To Brainiac 5 about Kara] Admit it, genius - you're in love with her.

Brainiac 5:
Ludicrous, we just met. Moreover, as a Coluan, I'm ruled by intellect, not emotion.

Green Arrow:
So in love with her.

Brainiac 5:
Increased sweat gland production, shortness of breath, inability to concentrate - I thought it was guilt, but I am in love. How did you know?

Green Arrow:
Just call me Cupid, junior. I never miss. [Kara comes in] I'm gonna raid this dump. See if I can upgrade my arrows with some future tech. I'll be gone for a long time, so you two are stuck with each other... alone... for a long time.

Supergirl:
[About the Legion Flight ring] What's that?

Brainiac 5:
The Legion Flight ring, all of us have one. [Hands the ring to Supergirl]

Supergirl:
So does this mean we're going steady?

Brainiac 5:
Uh...

Supergirl:
Trust me, a thousand years ago, that joke was hilarious.

Supergirl:
There's still a planet full of people down there who need our help. Do your job, and I'm gonna do mine.

Brainiac 5:
But... [Supergirl kisses him]

Supergirl:
In case I don't see you again.

Superman:
So, this boy Kara likes so much, does he have a name?

[Nervous looks from Green Lantern and Green Arrow]

Gentleman Ghost:
I like it. Very imaginative. But your ring is useless against me, Lantern.

Green Lantern:
Then why are you running from it?

Vixen:
Well, I'm surprised you haven't made your move before now.

Shayera:
I'm still trying to figure out the right Earth protocol for this situation. It's not like I can assassinate you in your sleep, or poison your water...I miss Thanagar.

Shadow Thief:
For decades their ever-growing empire was a utopia. But nothing lasts forever. At least, nothing good.

Shayera:
You didn't have to do that. I can fly.

Ashari:
When we're together, so can I.

Hawkman:
You always were good with that thing.

Shayera:
Just hit him!

Hawkman:
Right!

Grodd:
You! Come to gloat at me again? I'm not some monkey in a zoo, throwing-

Tala:
[Shushes him] Listen, I've been very, very bad. I picked the wrong pony. It should have been you.

Grodd:
Ooh, you've finally sussed it out. That hairless sweetheart of yours isn't a leader. He's a thug.

Tala:
And how! I don't like to compete for Lex with a dead computer. I want you to be the man in charge, like before. So, baby, [strokes him seductivly] what do you want?

Grodd:
Why, only you, my dear. And Luthor's fat head on a plate! [Tala smiles]

[Giganta grabs Grodd]

Grodd:
Giganta, you're out of jail! How's your head?

Giganta:
Pretty good, considering you tried to fry my brain! [begins to squeeze Grodd]

Tala:
Don't get grabby, Thundertighs! Grodd is mine now! [Blasts Giganta]

Killer Frost:
[Prepares to freeze Toyman] One creepcicle coming up! [Toyman headbutts her and runs away] You are so annoying!

[Tala fires a magic spell at Luthor, but it bounces back and knocks her unconscious. He pulls an amulet from under his shirt.]

Lex Luthor:
You wouldn't believe what this cost me.

Grodd:
You know, this mutiny was easy. The Secret Society hates you.

Lex Luthor:
Like they love you!

Grodd:
[trying to break through the door in anger] I should've let you rot in jail!

Lex Luthor:
Goodbye, Grodd. It could have gone the other way.

Grodd:
It really could have, couldn't it?

Lex Luthor:
No, but why speak ill of the dead? [opens airlock]

Grodd:
You twisted little pink rat-hole of a hominid, I'm not done with you! I'll get out of this, and when I do...!!!

[Lex Luthor's team has beaten Grodd's rebels]

Lex Luthor:
Can any of you give me one good reason to let you live? [Killer Frost steps forward from the rebels, then freezes her comrades without a word] Killer Frost... you've got a future.

Tala:
[To Luthor] Darling, Grodd must have used mind-control!...Okay, maybe not. But baby, you don't ever doubt that I love you, correct? I-, I-, I know I did something bad, I'm a sick person. You don't know what it's like to be me.

Lex Luthor:
Don't be afraid, darling. You still have a big role in my plan. In fact... I can't do this without you.

Tala:
You planned this all along! Even before I-

Lex Luthor:
I'm a sick person too.

Toyman:
Luthor, the conection pannels are in place.

Tala:
[whinning in panic] Lex! Please! I beg you!

Lex Luthor:
Hold that tongue. [to Toyman] Do it. [Toyman is about to obey, but time stops] I said do it!

Metron:
[appearing behind Luthor] He cannot hear you, Lex Luthor. Time has stopped. We exist between two ticks of the clock. In my travels through the myriad paths of infinity, I have seen the last. But what you do today threatens the entire universe. Past, Present and Future.

Lex Luthor:
I should hope it does. Look, I didn't catch the name.

Metron:
Metron. Scientist and chronicler.

Lex Luthor:
Well, Metron, I'll soon be ready for anything the universe can throw at me. I'm about to become a god.

Metron:
You don't know what a god is. Or what you are unleashing.

Toyman:
Twinkle, twinkle, Brainiac, Tala's gonna bring you back!

Lex Luthor:
Brainiac! I'm Coming! [the machine drains Tala's energy until it creates a mysterious figure which appears with the smoke] People, meet your new lord and master!

[Instead of Brainiac, as Luthor had hoped, his machine recreates Darkseid]

Darkseid:
It seems I have you to thank for my resurrection. While your world will suffer slowly, I grant you a quick death. [uses his power to destroy the base]

Darkseid:
Only the slimmest of chances has allowed me to overcome my death at the hands of Superman. But let the universe howl in despair, for I have returned! [The Apokoliptan armies cheer triumphantly]

Bernadeth:
What is your will, my lord?

Darkseid:
As ever, to search for the Anti-Life Equation, that I might bring order to this aimless universe. But first, Superman must suffer for killing me. His adopted world will die screaming. Only then will I seek the ultimate end.

Kanto:
Forgive me, lord, but to attack Earth would violate your pact with Highfather. New Genesis would doubtless retaliate.

Darkseid:
[smiles] Where do you think I'm going next?

[Following Darkseid's return, Luthor and the remaining members of the Legion of Doom show up at the Justice League's headquarters]

Lex Luthor:
We have a little problem...

Lex Luthor:
Darkseid took Brainiac away from me. I can't hear his voice in my head anymore!

Giganta:
Enough of the crazy talk, Lex.

Superman:
Okay, let's get these people locked up. Sounds like we've got a fight on our hands.

Giganta:
If you think you're locking us up while the whole world's under attack, you've got two fights on your hands.

Batman:
She's got a point. We'll need all the bodies we can throw at this.

Superman:
Oh, come on! It's Lex flippin' Luthor! Why should we trust him?!

Atomic Skull:
Hey, it's our world too!

Lex Luthor:
Let's be clear about this. We're not here to help you save the world. You're here to help me get revenge on Darkseid. When this is over, it's back to business as usual.

Superman:
Wouldn't have it any other way.

Lex Luthor:
Was there a plan here?

Batman:
Take out the small fries until we attract the big fish's attention.

Lex Luthor:
Ha! With everything going on, I bet he never notices us!

[Darkseid appears]

Batman:
You're on.

Superman:
I'll take some of that action.

Darkseid:
I hope you appreciate, Kal-El, that everything that happens from this point is on your head. The skies will rain fire, the oceans will boil, the streets will run red with the blood of billions. Only then, after your last pitiful hope is extinguished, will I end your life. Let's go.

Lex Luthor:
You destroyed Brainiac! I'm gonna make you pay!

Darkseid:
Unlikely.

Darkseid:
I'm more powerful than I've ever been, and the last time we met, you barely managed to hold your own.

Superman:
Funny. That's not how I remember it.

Darkseid:
Allow me to refresh your memory. [Darkseid picks up the Daily Planet globe and uses it to slam Superman through every floor of the building]

Green Lantern:
We gotta find a way to take this out for good!

Flash:
Why don't you just throw it into the sun? [pauses and stares at Green Lantern] Yeah, I guess that's a pretty stupid idea.

Green Lantern:
No, maybe you're on to something. But I'll need more leverage. And a trench!

Flash:
On it! [he runs around and around in a circle, creating a trench around the drill] Now what? [Green Lantern creates a catapult with his ring] Aw, cool! [Green Lantern flings the drill]

Green Lantern:
Doesn't look like it quite made escape velocity. [The drill hits a ship, which explodes]

Flash:
Good effort, though.

Darkseid:
Don't leave us yet, Kal-El. I want you to see your adopted homeworld bow down before me. Only then will I allow you death's sweet release.

Wonder Woman:
Get away from here! It's not safe!

Elderly Chinese Man:
Don't worry. I'm here to help.

Wonder Woman:
I appreciate your inten- [Sees the old man easily defeating Parademons] Hera!

[The man suddenly changes into a Chinese dragon, defeating more Parademons. He then changes again, becoming the Martian Manhunter.]

Wonder Woman:
J'onn! [hugs him]

Martian Manhunter:
Good to see you, Diana. I've got a lot to tell you about.

Wonder Woman:
We'll catch up later.

Lex Luthor:
Problem?

Batman:
I'm out.

Lex Luthor:
[holds up his gun] Take my extra.

Batman:
Not my style.

Lex Luthor:
Suit yourself. I'm planning to live through this.

[Batman dodges Darkseid's Omega Beam and it hits a Parademon]

Darkseid:
Impressive. No one has ever avoided my Omega Beam. I wonder if the other one is as agile. [Lex Luthor runs away] Excellent strategy.

Darkseid:
Super or otherwise, you're merely a man. And I am a god!

Metron:
I warned you that you were dabbling in forces beyond your comprehension.

Lex Luthor:
You'd be surprised what I can comprehend!

Lex Luthor:
I know a little something about risk myself. [aims his pistol at Metron] Care for an object lesson?

Superman:
[Fighting Darkseid] That man [Batman] won't quit so long as he can draw breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. [Punches Darkseid through the wall] I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking care not to break something, to break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. [Punches Darkseid again] But you can take it, can't you, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am. [Punches Darkseid across the city with a single blow]

Darkseid:
It's called the Agony Matrix. Direct neural stimulation of pain receptors - all of them. Imagine the worst pain you've ever felt in your life, times a thousand. Now imagine that pain continuing. Forever. Oh, that's right... you don't have to imagine.

Metron:
Behold the Source Wall. Beyond it is the single greatest secret of the universe. This is as far as I dare to go. I warn you one final time: only a 12th level intellect has the slightest hope of surviving what you are about to experience.

Lex Luthor:
Then I'm overqualified.

Darkseid:
Still alive. You impress me, Kryptonian. More, your valor has touched my heart. Oh yes, there is still some small part of me that knows mercy. I will end your pain... with something special I've been saving for just this occassion. [Darkseid draws a Kryptonite knife] I'm going to carve out your heart and put it on a pike in my throne room.

[Lex Luthor appears in a business suit]

Lex Luthor:
As much as I'd enjoy seeing that, first you've got some business with me. Sorry it took me so long - I had to go get my "power suit".

Darkseid:
You dare challenge me? Insanity!

Lex Luthor:
Oh, I'm not here to challenge you, Darkseid. Quite the contrary. I've got something you want. The only thing you want.

[Luthor holds up his hand, revealing a dazzling shard of energy]

Darkseid:
[astonished] The Anti-Life Equation!

[After Lex Luthor and Darkseid vanish through the Anti-Life Equation]

Martian Manhunter:
In many ways, Lex Luthor represents the worst of what mankind has to offer.

Superman:
But he died saving us all.

Batman:
I doubt that either of them died.

Superman:
But we saw it this time!

Flash:
You saw it last time too.

Green Lantern:
What's that old saying? "Believe half of what you see."

Hawkgirl:
"And none of what you hear." They'll be back.

Martian Manhunter:
And we'll be ready for them.

Wonder Woman:
It's past time that Luthor's partners in crime were locked up.

Atomic Skull:
Wait a minute - we help you guys save the world, and we don't even get any consideration?

(Batman looks at Superman, who shrugs)

Batman:
You're right. Five-minute head start.

Atomic Skull:
Five minutes? Are you kidding?!

Wonder Woman:
Four minutes, fifty seconds.

[The villains promptly flee; Giganta gives the surprised Flash a kiss on the cheek before joining the others]

[Last lines of the series]

Superman:
[To Batman] A head start? You're getting soft in your old age.

Batman:
Don't you have a tall building to go leap?

Wonder Woman:
And the adventure continues...