Kappa Mikey, Season 1 (2006–07)

Gonard:
[in girl's voice] Please let him go!

Gonard:
[in William Shatner voice] You'll... have to... kill me first.

Gonard:
[in girl's voice] You mean like this?

[Gonard fights himself]

Guano:
Gonard, what are you doing? You're already on the show.

Gonard:
Oh... right. [embarrassed chuckle]

Ozu:
This is terrible. All these actors stink.

Gonard:
That last guy was good.

Ozu:
That was you!

Lily:
Yeah, it's Guano's show. Fire him, not the rest of us.

Guano:
You're gonna find somebody else who can write and direct a new episode every week? Not to mention memorize all my character's lines?

Lily:
All your character says is "Guano!"

Guano:
That's what makes it a challenging role!

[After a TV fight with Lily]

Mikey:
What's her deal?

Mitsuki:
You should really be more careful, Mikey.

[Mikey grieves]

[Mikey calls from his home, and his parents answer the phone]

Ms. Simon:
Hi, you've reached the Simon residence. If your message is for Ms. Simon, press 1.

Mr. Simon:
And if it's for me, Mr. Simon, press 2.

Ms. Simon:
And if you're our only child in Japan and you're calling 'cause you're all alone in a big empty room and you miss the comforting sound of another human voice, stay on the line as we read from a list of words chosen at random from the dictionary.

Mr. Simon:
"Vernacular."

Ms. Simon:
"Flibbertigibbet."

Mr. Simon:
"Mortgage."

Ms. Simon:
"Pedal."

Mr. Simon:
"Disenfranchise."

[Mikey hangs up]

Lily:
Ozu, Mikey is like the messiest, most inconsiderate human being ever!

Yes-Man:
He is a star that shines too bright!

Mikey:
She's the inconsiderate one. She's always nagging me like "Mike-ay, don't eat meals in the shower," "Mikey, don't feed the plants people food."

Lily:
He's the worst roommate!

Mikey:
She's the worst roommate!

Mitsuki:
I just keep that diary as a joke.

Guano:
You didn't destroy Ozu's bonsai tree with a samurai sword, did you?

Mikey:
Uhhh... kinda.

Mitsuki:
Mikey, Ozu's gonna kill you!

Gonard:
He'll send you back to America!

Guano:
He'll cancel the show!

Mikey:
I'll never walk on the moon!

[Mitsuki, Gonard, and Guano all give confused looks to Mikey]

Mikey:
What? It's been on my mind.

Lily:
Stupid boss awards! Stupid party! Stupid Mikey with his stupid bonsai tree and his stupid diagram of Ozu's apartment! [pauses] Mikey! He's trying to switch Ozu's bonsai tree! When I tell Ozu, Mikey's finished! [laughs evilly]

Mikey:
When I will get the game I will be like [does game stuff , and then suddenly he bumps into a fake Mikey]

Mikey:
Sorry 'bout that!

Fake Mikey:
No worries, my man.

[each Mikey walks away and look to each other, and the fake Mikey goes to Mitsuki, Lily and Guano]

Mitsuki:
There you are Mikey!

Fake Mikey:
Oh? Oh yeah Here I am! Mikey Simon.

Lily:
Why are you wearing sunglasses?

Fake Mikey:
Because your beauty is blinding. [Lily likes what he said, and Mitsuki gets a bit angry]

Fake Mikey:
Say , how bout some ice cream? I know this jord next door .. if you're interested?

Mitsuki:
You don't want the new video game?

Fake Mikey:
Video games are for kids!

[Lily and Mitsuki are shocked]

Fake Mikey:
Now who want ice creams shaped in clowns?

Guano:
I do! [raises hand]

Fake Mikey:
Not this time pal. And shine your shoes kid, you look like a mess. [walks away]

Guano:
I .. don't even have shoes'

Guano:
Who could leave such horrible rumors in the paper?

Gonard:
Who indeed

Guano:
Mitsuki was with Lily the whole time

Gonard:
Indeed.

Guano:
Yes Man and Ozu never left the studio.

Gonard:
Indeed.

Guano:
And I was teaching you to speak with a british accent

Gonard:
[In a british accent] Rather.

Guano:
That leaves only 1 person...

[drum roll]

Gonard:
Gonard.

Guano:
What?! You did it?

Gonard:
No.

Lily:
Be honest, Mitsuki. Did I lose my endorsement to Socky because I'm not beautiful anymore?

Mitsuki:
That's crazy! You look great! Doesn't she, Mirror?

Mirror:
Looking great, Gonard.

Prosecutor:
Ozu, do you think Mikey stole the coat?

Ozu:
If Mikey says he didn't take the coat, I believe him.

Prosecutor:
But didn't Mikey destroy your precious 500 year old bonsai tree, then lie about it?

Ozu:
Yes! [voice building with anger]

Prosecutor:
And did he buy a pirated video game when you told him not to?

Ozu:
Yes! [saying very angrily]

Prosecutor:
And didn't he reveal Lilymu's secrets to the press?

Ozu:
Yes! [saying with fury as he catches on fire]

Mikey:
That was a good one.

Prosecutor:
Let the records show that Ozu is surrounded by flame.

[Yes Man douses Ozu with an extinguisher]

[it has been proven that Mikey was framed, but the police finds him in Lilymu Towers. The gang are all in Gonard's apartment

Gonard:
Friends stick together. [outside to the police] Mikey's with us! If you arrest him, you have to arrest all of us!

Detective:
Fine. You're all under arrest.

[Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guano slap their foreheads in disbelief]

Gonard:
You'll have to come and get us!

Detective:
Fine. We'll come and get you.

[Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guana slap their foreheads in disbelief]

Gonard:
Take the elevator! From my experience, it's faster!

Detective:
Fine. We'll take the elevator.

[Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guana slap their foreheads in disbelief]

Guano:
[referring to Lily] What makes you think she would choose you?

Gonard:
[talking while eating spaghetti] Because I am a gentleman!

Man:
Excuse me, that's mine.

Gonard:
And it is delicious!

Gonard:
I think I broke one of my livers.

Lily:
You only have one liver.

Gonard:
How many do I need to live?

Lily:
One.

Gonard:
I'm in trouble.

Guano:
Hey, LilyMu dolls! [picks up Mitsuki doll and starts mimicking her voice] Oh, Guano! You're such a talented writer! Have you been working out? [picks up Ozu doll and starts imitating him] I am sorry for what I said, Guano. You are a good actor! And a great director! And very tall! [picks up his own doll and starts speaking on his own voice] It's too late for sorries, Ozu! GUANO SMASH! [starts hitting dolls against each other until he starts crying] Guano smash...

Mitsuki:
Ooh! Let's go to the Tatami megastore. They've got everything!

Gonard:
Yeah! That's where I bought my virtual reality machine. [places toaster on head, covering his eyes]

Mikey:
Awesome!

Guano:
It's just a toaster he found in the street.

Gonard:
It's like I'm... on a roller coaster! Woo hoo! [runs hard into a wall] Oof!

Mikey:
I can't believe we were fired from the show.

Gonard:
[Holding a prop and then tossing it down a trash bin] Goodbye LilyMu Blaster, I guess I'll never shoot you again. [Holding his costume pants and tossing it down a trash bin] Goodbye LilyMu pants, I guess I'll never look awesome in you again. [Holding his pants and then tossing it down a trash bin] Goodbye normal pants. In retrospect, there was nothing wrong with you.

Gonard:
So the cat's cute? It's not like it's got anything else going for it.

Reporter on TV:
Here is Kello taking the Silver Medal in Olympic Downhill Skiing!

Mikey:
Why did I lend him those skis?

Guano:
You just need time to adjust. On Lily's first day, she tripped over a camera. Then on Gonard's first day, he mistakenly ate a box full of light-bulbs.

Gonard:
You mean, glass apples.

[Kello the Kitten gets on the camera]

Guano:
What's that on the camera?

Gonard:
A UFO?

Lily:
That's not a UFO.

[Gonard holds a sub sandwich]

Gonard:
Lily, I think I know a UFO when I see one. Hey! Who's been eating my UFO?

Cat Burglar:
You know the expression, 'There's only one way to skin a cat'? Actually, there's only one way, with this. [pulls out a bizarre looking machine with a hook, knife, sickel, and another blade all spinning simultaneously]

Mitsuki:
[in southern accent, wearing bonnet] Gonard you have to eat that lobster!

Gonard:
[in southern accent, wearing a cowboy hat] I reckon I do!

Reginald:
It is I, Sir Reginald, the handsomest man in the world, come to present you with this overly large diamond. [holds up diamond]

Lily:
Oh Reginald!

Tapias:
Jumps onto balcony holding diamond identical to Reginald's Lily?

Lily:
Tapias I never doubted you for a second.

Tapias:
Then I shall fight you for Lily!

Reginald:
Have at you!

Mikey:
Anyway, After the game I picked up Gonard. We ran into a little trouble on the way to Ozu's but it was nothing we couldn't handle.

Mikey:
[In flashback] Those Aliens have been tailing us since Montoya Blvd.

Gonard:
[In flashback] I'm on it! [Fires laser]

Mikey:
[In flashback] Wooooo ha ha ha!

[end of flashback]

Gonard:
[Hand on heart] True Story.

Mikey:
W'ever

Guano:
Mikey, you have to do what the script says!

Mikey:
Script is just a prison, made of words.

Ozu:
You must go back to being the old Mikey and be a good example for kids.

Mikey:
W'ever.

Ozu:
You have to do what I say! I'm your boss!

Mikey:
Boss is just a prison, made of skin.

Ozu:
That dosen't make any sense!

Mikey:
Well, not to a fossil like you.

Guano:
[standing on top of the bus] For the last time, I'm not filled with candy!

Girl:
Prove it!

[Guano screams and lands on Gonard's hands and Mikey and Gonard start running]

Gonard:
The candy is mine! Fine, you can have some too.

Guano:
Mikey! Stop! Ozu's gonna be furious!

Mikey:
Then I got news for Ozu, w'ever!

Ozu:
You started a riot!?

Mikey:
Ah, no!

[A chair flies in through a window]

Crowd:
Riot! Riot! Riot!

Yes Man:
For the greater good!

Kid 1:
He supports the greater good!

Kid 2:
Get him!

Mikey:
[looking at a statue of Ozu] Look at him, all smug and bronze like the real Ozu.

Mikey:
A boss is just a prison made of skin.

Ozu:
That doesn't make sense!

Lily:
And in this corner... Two guys wearing masks! [sumos cheer] And a short, smelly guy wearing a mask!

Guano:
OH, COME ON!!

Mikey:
Hey guys! We need to fight some sumos.

Lily, Mitsuki, and Gonard:
US?

Mikey:
I can't fight by myself! Come on!

Gonard:
[In a British accent] Very well! Lily, fetch my sword and a team of horses. Mitsuki, carry me into battle! [both girls give him angry looks] Just kidding.

Mikey:
I don't feel like I'm getting stronger.

Janitor:
Ah, but Mikey, you are getting stronger! In fact, you are my best student I ever taught.

Guano:
What about me?

Janitor:
Ah, yes, you are my worst.

Beef:
You ain't goin' nowhere.

[an alarm sounds]

Gang member:
Grammar police! You aren't going anywhere.

Beef:
Man, the Grammar Police is always doggin' me...

Ozu:
[to Lily] Have you talked to Mitsuki? Did she find Mikey?

Lily:
Not yet, but Gonard says he has a back up plan.

Gonard:
[to the children] Maybe one day, you'll all be superheroes when you grow up. Isn't that right, Mikey?

[A cat is dressed as Kappa Mikey and starts attacking Gonard]

Gonard:
[talking on cell phone] Mikey, you gotta get here. They're gonna put out the cake soon, and I think I ate the box with all the candles in it.

Beef:
We're all outcasts, kid. That's what makes us Chums. That, and a small monthly membership fee.

Beef:
Mikey, I've got a special surprise for you.

Mikey:
You're gonna throw another snake down my shirt?

Mr. Stereo:
This is wonderful! Thank you, Ozu! Only a true friend would save my son's birthday with a gang of dangerous bikers!

Lily:
Hey, kids!

[The children cheer]

Timmy:
Lily, do your move!

[Lily giggles and performs a karate kick]

Lily:
Hi-ya!

[Timmy becomes enraged]

Timmy:
NO! DO THE MOVE WHERE YOU INTRODUCE MIKEY!

[Mega Gonard rampages around Tokyo]

Random Man:
Oh no! The Fireworks factory!

[Gonard steps on factory, fireworks shoot up into the sky]

Random Man:
Not the wolf factory!

[Gonard steps on factory, barking wolves run out of the factory]

Guano:
Mikey, for once just listen to me. Let's Go!

Mikey:
Not till I touch Gonard with the Death Hand!

Gonard:
Yeah! I wanna know the slumber of lost souls.

Hideous Blue Blob:
Do not go in there.

Mikey:
You heard the monster. Let's check it out.

Guano:
Does this mean you're gonna let me go?

Dr. Igor:
Ha! Of course not. But, I'll try to make this as pleasant as possible. Set the laser to maximum pain!

Dr. Igor:
Citizens of Tokyo! For too long, you have ignored Dr. Igor! For too long have you denied me the respect I deserve! Now it's- It's-

Guano:
Payback time?

Dr. Igor:
Yes! It's payback time! Unless you give me everything I want, I will use my Size-Mo-Lazer and Guano's Power Crystal to make myself incredibly small!

Guano:
Ahem. Sorry to interrupt, but maybe you should make yourself bigger instead of smaller?

Dr. Igor:
Hmmm... bigger. Good idea. I shall make myself enormous and then I'll- I'll...

Guano:
Destroy all of Tokyo.

Dr. Igor:
Destroy all of Tokyo!

Mitsuki:
Gonard hit both four and nine and if you add them together you get-

Gonard:
The letter M!

Lily:
Nobody panic.

Gonard:
Help! I'm too beautiful to swim!

Ozu:
For you.

Yes Man:
A sandwich? This is the nicest thing you ever gave me!

[Ozu's phone rings]

Ozu:
Hello?

Lily:
Ozu! We're stuck in an elevator and we gotta rescue Guano!

Ozu:
Not now! I just gave Yes Man a sandwich full of painful spicy Wasabi.

Yes Man:
[takes a bite of the sandwich] Why would you do this?!

Ozu:
It's a blooper!

Yes Man:
But there's no camera!

Dr. Igor:
All the classic movie monsters were my inventions! Mega-Rat! Mega-Snake! Mega-Mom!

Mikey:
Yeu made all these?!

Dr. Igor:
Forbes helped out.

Forbes:
I designed the monster's butts.

Gonard:
Look! It's the moths from the movie, "Attack of the Mega-Moths."

Mitsuki:
And his death ray from "Mega Night of the Death Ray"!

Mikey:
Sweet! Dracula's retainer and the long lost ending to "Mega-zilla 7: Birth of Mega-zilla!"

Guano:
Movie time's over.

Mikey:
Come on! The three-headed Mega-Dragon's gonna fight a Mega-Turtle with four butts!

Ozu:
New, from LilyMu! It's the "LilyMu: Super Bloopers" DVD! On sale for only five thousand yen!

Yes Man:
Bargain of the century!

[Lily and the Phantom of the sound stage planning to prank Mikey]

Phantom:
Then, I will teach him a lesson he'll not forget.

Lily and Phantom:
[Evil laugh]

Phantom:
That's a pretty good evil laugh, you've got.

Lily:
It comes from the heart.

Phantom:
Legend has it, the stage is haunted by a hideous creature.

Mikey:
Guano! [buzzer sound effect]

Phantom:
No, a hideous creature that lurks in the shadows.

Mikey:
Mitsuki? [buzzer sound effect]

Phantom:
[to the tune of the title song from The Phantom of the Opera] I must do to young Mikey / What that prankster did to me.

Mikey:
That's ridiculous! Yoshi will say anything if you tickle him! [Tickles Yoshi]

Yoshi:
[Laughing] Stop! Stop! I brush my teeth with dogs!

Mikey:
A cell phone! We can cheat after all!

[Gonard, Guano and Lily cheer]

Mitsuki:
Wait! What happened to being honest with our fans?! You said we'd do the right thing!

Mikey:
And we will, as soon as we cheat our way to victory!

Gonard, Guano and Lily:
Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Cheat!

Ori:
Well, what do we have here?

Yori:
Looks like a couple actor types thought they'd pick up some guitars and call themselves a band.

Mikey:
Yep, that's pretty much it.

Guano:
Gonard, did you leave this on the audio board?

Gonard:
That's preposterous! I've never seen that sandwich before in my life!

Guano:
You autographed it! [sandwich reads 'Eat you later -Gonard']

Gonard:
That could be any Gonard! [eats sandwich out of Guano's hand in one bite]

Mikey:
We'll figure it out. We're rock stars.

Mitsuki:
Rock stars who steal their music from a cell phone?!

Mikey:
Is there any other kind?

Guano:
For now, let's just worry about covering our butts.

Gonard:
One step ahead of you. (has a sheep on his butt)

Mikey:
Everyone. I have a confession to make.

Reporter:
He's a vampire! It all adds up!

Yori:
Something's not right about you guys.

Ori:
Yeah. You hold your instruments funny.

Yori:
All your songs are 15 seconds long!

Lily:
Well, if you really are Mikey's parents, then you must know a lot about him.

Guano:
When's Mikey's birthday?

Gonard:
What's Mikey's name?

[mimical gestures while an accordion plays in the background]

Gonard:
[angrily] You made me learn how to cook delicious foods!? Do you know how useless that is to me!?

Gonard:
To eat is a necessity; but to eat intelligently is an art.

Beef:
That's beautiful, Gonard.

Gonard:
A guy wrote it on my hand at the bus station. (holds up hand)

Mikey:
You guys remember that reporter that was here?

Gonard:
Sure, about yea high, face made of glass, always standing next to the fax machine.

Lily:
You're thinking of the photocopier.

Gonard:
That wasn't a reporter? Then why would he want a picture of my butt?

[Gonard, watching TV, sees himself on reality show]

Gonard:
Oh, man, this guys got moves!

Mikey:
Gonard, that's you!

Gonard:
Shyeah, I wish.

Gonard:
[holding the novel 'War and Peace'] No food for me; I'm too busy feeding my brain with book knowledge. [takes bite out of book and with mouth full] Mmm, verbs... mmm. Pass the syrup.

Guano:
I don't know, guys, you know what they say, 'Too many cooks spoil the broth.'

Mikey:
No. What they say is, 'Too many cooks write the best books.'

Gonard:
[excitedly paging through a photo album] Here's me fighting 'gators in the Amazon. Oh, and and here's me playing ping-pong on the moon. Oh, and here's me inventing penicillin at the prom.

Mikey:
Those are just pictures of you with sandwiches.

Gonard:
Jealous?

Ozu:
[angrily] What am I supposed to put on the air now?!

Yes Man:
The Yes Man Variety Hour!

Gonard:
If you want this butt camera back send 1000 unmarked cookies to my mouth by 3 o'clock tomorrow.

Mikey:
Gonard! You're not evil!

Gonard:
Thanks, I've been using a new deoderant.

Ozu:
Eat the stocking... EAT IT! [shoves christmas stocking in Yes-man's mouth]

Gonard:
You're good, Kappa Mikey. Real good.

Mikey:
The best.

Guano:
Cut? [excited] Cut! That's a wrap, people!

[crew cheers]

Mitsuki:
Mikey, that was amazing.

Lily:
Yeah, for once you didn't destroy the whole set.

Mikey:
Ain't no thing but a sumo ring. [tips over a camera and chaos quickly ensues] Sorry.

Guano:
You know what, who cares? We're done for the season!

Gonard:
[Talking to sandwich] No mayo I said, but you wouldn't listen. [jams sandwich into paper shredder, machine overloads as sparks and smoke fly out]

Gonard:
Sorry I'm late, I had to get beat up by some nerds. Ready?

Lily:
Yeah, remember you're good cop I'm bad cop.

Gonard:
Got it.

[Scene pans to Guano tied up in a chair]

Gonard:
So Guano, how'd you like a punch in the gut?

Lily:
[through clenched teeth] Gonard! Good cop.

Gonard:
I mean, how would you like a kiss...in the gut? [Gonard thumbs up sign to Lily]

[Gonard dunks his head in a fish tank, comes up with a fish in his mouth, swallows fish]

Lily:
Gonard!

Gonard:
I just open my mouth, if a fish swims in that's his decision.

Mitsuki:
You shouldn't mess with people who confuse T.V. and real life.

Mikey:
Why not? Sounds like a great idea to me.

Mitsuki:
Remember when we watched that nature show and Gonard threw the T.V. out the window cause he thought it was full of spiders?

Mikey:
So?

Mitsuki:
We lost THREE T.V.s!

Mikey:
Good news, I'm nerd free!

Mitsuki:
So you were honest, my advice worked?

Mikey:
Oh yeah, about that. Sometimes true honesty means making up a crazy story about Gonard to scare away your fans.

Gonard:
And I want sandwiches! [Bangs fist against wall] The good kind...with bread on the outside.

Gonard:
I get it now. There aren't two Ozu's. That other guy is Ozu's brother.

Lily:
[sarcastically]: Very good, Gonard.

Gonard:
Now if only someone would explain to me who THAT guy is. [points to himself in a mirror and talks to his reflection] Hello, handsome.

Lily:
This is a joke! You have no idea what you're doing.

Mikey:
You've got spark. I like that. Give yourself a raise.

Lily:
What!?

Mikey:
You're fired!

[Lily gasps]

Ozu:
We had an agreement, Brozu. I run LilyMu, you spend our family's money on diamond teeth and ill-fitting trousers.

Yes Man:
[to Brozu] In your face!

No Man:
Oh no!

Yes Man:
Yesss! [attacks No Man]

[Brozu sees Lily for the first time]

Brozu:
Oh Hello! Your daddy must be a doctor cause you're the sickest girl I ever saw!

Lily:
OMG

[Gonard puts bunny ears on his butt]

Mitsuki:
Um, Gonard, those are bunny ears.

Gonard:
Oh, I thought they were butt feathers.

Mitsuki:
 ???

Lily:
Until Mikey Simon is removed as producer, I'm going on strike!

Guano:
Yeah!

Mitsuki:
Me too!

Mikey:
Wait stop! I can explain.

[Mikey finds a sword stuck on the rock]

Mikey:
This should do the job.

Old Man:
Beautiful, sword eye, this called the Dragon's Spike, pops you heard the legend.

Mikey:
Of course, so this is what they use to stop Manzilla.

Old Man:
Now, the Dragon's has been a history of dark and TWISTED!

Mikey:
Oh, the Dragon's Spike, I thought you said the Dragon's Bike, anyway I'm sure no one would mind if I take her out for a little spin.

Old Man:
[laughs evily] No one will not pull it from the stone. Thousands of tribe it all it fails, the grass, the blade is to...

Mikey:
[pulls the blade out] See ya later. [leaves]

Old Man:
Spike? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Gonard:
Mikey, to make someone less popular all you have to do is steal their belt.

[Yoshi walks by, his pants fall down]

Yoshi:
My trousers!

Gonard:
[chuckling and holding up Yoshi's belt] That'll teach him to look at my doughnut.

Mikey:
Maybe I'll even be on Star Talk. The show where stars talk.

Lily:
The only show you'll be on is America's Next Top Weirdo.

Mikey:
Don't get my hopes up.

[talking about Butts, the currency of Buttstonia]

Gonard:
Look, look at the pretty Butts.

Mitsuki:
That's... okay.

Gonard:
Touch them, touch my Butts! Touch my stinkin' Butts!

Sergie:
I have earned my fortune. It is American dream.

Lily:
This is Japan!

Sergie:
It is Japanese dream then.

Mitsuki:
What's the matter, Mikey?

Lily:
Another restaurant ban you for picking your nose with chopsticks?

[Gonard picks up greeting card Mikey dropped]

Gonard:
[reading card] Happy Birthday to the world's greatest son. MOG! It's my birthday!?

Gonard:
I know how to turn that frown upside down. [Gonard starts doing a stand up comedy routine] How 'bout that Ozu folks? I mean he's so old, I told him to act his age and he died! And his shoes, hiyo!

Lily:
There's no way you two taught that bird to fly.

Guano:
What are you even doing here?

Lily:
[chuckles] Mocking you.

Gonard:
Don't listen to 'em Reggie, you'll show 'em. You'll show 'em all! [serious tone] especially Mitsuki.

Mitsuki:
What!?

[Talking about the shark]

Mikey:
It didn't hurt anyone expect us and Yes Man and the shark that ate Yes Man.

[Scene switches to Yes Man inside the shark]

Yes Man:
It's cozy in here!

[Mikey trying to get someone to go to a movie with him]

Mikey:
Doesn't anyone here want to go with me?

Dr. Igor:
I won't go with you, but maybe I'll see you there. [Mikey and Mitsuki looking puzzled] I work part-time as an usher.

Mikey:
Now we've got copies of all your files and all your poems. [clearing throat] 'The lonely man in the mailbox' by Agent F.

Agent F:
Stop! That's private!

Mikey:
Okay Mitsuki, I want answers. Who was that guy? Where'd you learn those moves? What did you get me for my birthday? Answer in any order you like.

Gonard:
But what if space is time and what if time is space? And what if space is space?... Are you gonna finish that sandwich?

Ozu:
Yes Man, where have you been?

Yes Man:
A magic orb stole my soul!

Ozu:
Again?

Mitsuki:
This Oni mask is our most precious artifact, it's over 6,000 years old.

Gonard:
It has a very special purpose.

[Lily pulls down on one of the mask's horns, a drink dispenses from the mask's nostrils]

Mikey:
Woah!

Mikey:
I'm so pathetic. What kind of man can't even overpower a whale with his bare hands?

Mitsuki:
This is terrible! I look like a wet blanket. Gonard: I look like a sandwich loving buffoon. Mikey: I look like I'm not wearing any clothes!