Kim Possible, Season 3

Kim Possible:
(unexpectedly without plans on a Friday night) I can handle some me time! Really! How pathetic do you think I am?

(cut to later, while she is sitting on the couch, alone)

Kim:
I am so pathetic!

Motor Ed:
[sees Shego and whistles] Green babe.

[Grabs Shego as if he's about to kiss her]

Motor Ed:
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 'Cause, I'll totally walk by again if I have to, seriously.

Shego:
Uh-huh, uh-huh, walk... and keep walking!

[Blasts Motor Ed across the room]

Motor Ed:
Man, do I dig a woman who can scrap! I think I'm in looove!

Motor Ed:
Here is it. The super-nova of all kits, the Total Auto-Body Experience. Seriously!

Drakken:
Must you say "seriously" all the time?!

Motor Ed:
Seriously?

Drakken:
Seriously!

Motor Ed:
Yeah, I do! Seriously!

[Lights are switched on; Kim enters room]

Kim:
Motor Ed!

Motor Ed:
Red!

Drakken:
"Red"?

Kim:
Drakken?

Drakken:
Kim Possible?!

Kim:
How do my foes find each other?

Motor Ed:
We're related.

Kim:
Seriously?

Motor Ed / Drakken:
Seriously.

Drakken:
Don't you have something better to do with your Friday nights?

Kim:
Actually, no.

Motor Ed:
[To Shego] Whoa! Babes don't drive, dudes drive, seriously! [Gets blasted by Shego] Man, I love that woman, she's got the green magic!

Shego:
Oh, no, no, no. You are not going to jack some kid's wheelchair!

Drakken:
News flash, Shego: I'm a bad man.

Ron:
Kim, hello! Real life calling!

[Drakken and Motor Ed steal Felix's cyber-robotic wheelchair]

Kim:
This is low even for these two.

Ron:
Uh, news flash, Kim: they're bad men!

Shego:
You actually stole a wheelchair? What's next, candy from a baby?

Drakken:
Been there, done that!

Motor Ed:
Dude, never get a babe mad when she's driving. It just makes it worse... her driving, I mean. [Shego blasts him with her powers] OW! What'd I say?

Shego:
I don't get it. If you're such an evil genius, shouldn't you invent your own stuff? I mean, what's with the stealing?

Drakken:
It's called outsourcing, Shego!

Kim:
Stealing again, Drakken?

Ron:
Whatever happened to inventing your own stuff?

Drakken:
It's called outsour... Oh, just get on with it.

Drakken:
Who am I kidding? I've never fit into a size six.

Shego:
Brrrr. Cold weather: perfect for cuddling. Latte?

Drakken:
I like latte, but as to the cuddling... Pasadena.

Shego:
Why?

Drakken:
Because... uh... because you're freaking me out, that's why!

Ron:
Dating could be good, ya know, the date thing... But what if it tanks? It could totally wreck our friendship! No. No! I can't let that happen! Only one thing to do: break up with Kim! Thanks, man. You've been a big help.

Barkin:
Stoppable, how did you get in my house?!

Shego:
I was thinking it's time for some evil.

Drakken:
Evil, you say? You mean "take over the world" type evil or "Drakken goes ouch" evil?

Mrs. Possible:
We're just tickled pink about you and Kimmy.

Ron:
We are?

Mr. Possible:
But not too pink. Time to have a fam-to-Ron talk.

Ron:
It is?

Mrs. Possible:
We want Kim to be happy.

Ron:
We do?

Mr. Possible:
If not, it's a one-way ticket on a deep space probe.

Ron:
H-how deep?

Mr. Possible:
Black hole deep, Ronald.

Ron:
Uh... great...

Drakken:
Find your own hiding place.

Ron:
Oh, right. Like you called dibs.

Drakken:
Well, I am now. Dibs! Ha!

Ron:
Well, I'm calling double dibs.

Drakken:
Agh. Fine. You've won this round with your superior dib calling. But that won't save us from them! [Kim and Shego]

Ron:
So that whole crush thing was all the Moodulator?

Kim:
Not everything. There's still fireworks.

Ron:
You think so?

Kim:
[points to fireworks above them]

Bonnie:
What's the matter, K? Too rough out there for you?

Kim:
Maybe, Bonnie, if you caught me like you were supposed to...

Bonnie:
Was I? I thought you liked flying and falling all over the place!

Kim:
What exactly is your problem with me?

Bonnie:
Oh, it's always about YOU, isn't it, Kim?

Kim:
Today's not your lucky-

[Ron falls on her, allowing Dementor to seize the electronic device.]

Dementor:
Correction, today I feel very lucky. So long, farewell, auf wiederschen, GOODBYE!

Ron:
[Referring to Kim and Bonnie's rivalry] It's the circle of life.

Kim:
Interesting choice of words. [Lifts flashlight to illuminate a lion behind Ron, alluding to the Lion King']

Mrs. Possible:
Interesting. There's a high density molecular process involved in this bonding agent.

Mr. Possible:
It's a sticky situation!

Mrs. Possible:
Ha! Good one!

Mr. Possible:
Thanks.

Kim:
So not helping.

[While Ron and Barkin are attached at the hip, Barkin drags Ron to a rugby match.]

Barkin:
Feels good! Feels right, doesn't it?

Ron:
I can taste my spleen...

[Barkin is doing laps at the gymnasium pool, with Ron attached to his hip.]

Ron:
[gasping] You could have planned this a little better!

Barkin:
Don't be a water weenie, Stoppable! Only fifty more laps. Big breath, let's go!

Connie:
[to Kim/Bonnie] I got all the brains...

Lonnie:
I got all the looks...

Connie/Lonnie:
...And Bonnie got the rest!

Kim:
Yep, it's Dementor's lair, all right.

Bonnie:
How can you tell?

[Kim points]

Bonnie:
A gift shop?

Kim:
I remember when it used to be about the villainy.

Dementor:
You are too late! My men have already unleashed... ZE DACHSUNDS!

Bonnie:
We're supposed to be afraid of little wiener dogs?

Kim:
You stole the kinetic modulator just to make cocoa?

Dementor:
It is very good cocoa.

Bonnie:
Hold up, Mr. Bad Accent Guy. Why are you telling us all this? Why don't you just get on with it?

Kim:
That's how these things go.

Barkin:
I knew this day would come. Just me and the mutant wiener dogs.

Ron:
You knew this day would come?

Dementor:
When the machine is activated, you will both be vaporized! Poof!

Bonnie:
Why are you going to such elaborate measures? Isn't there an easier way to do this?

Kim / Dementor:
It's how it's done!

Dementor:
Why did you have to break down the door? It wasn't locked, and I just had it painted!

Drakken:
Shego! Do you know what this means?

Shego:
You're gonna gorge yourself on corndogs and hork on Dementor again?

Drakken:
That was last year and those were funnel cakes!

Good Drakken:
I never joke about cocoa-moo!

Shego:
Cocoa-moo?

Good Drakken:
It's uses are limitless! Pudding, cookie dough, foot massages...

Good Drakken:
Mmmmm, that's good cocoa-moo!

Kim:
Wade, I need you to keep an eye on Ron. You've still got him chipped, right?

Wade:
Kim, we talked about the ethical ramifications of that...

Kim:
Wade...

Wade:
Yeah, okay.

Kim:
Please and thank you!

Good Drakken:
Ha-ha-ha! Had enough yet? I think you're quite finished! [emerges from the kitchen] Who wants peanut butter stickies?

[Two of his henchmen exchange a puzzled look, but both raise their hands.]

Shego:
This is sick and wrong on so many levels!

Evil Ron:
Kim Possible!

Kim:
Since when do you use my last name?

Evil Ron:
Since I realized my full evil potential!

Kim:
Ron, you've got to stop! Evil isn't your thing, it's Drakken's thing!

Evil Ron:
Oh, but I'm so much better at it! Did Drakken ever build a plasma blaster of this stature? Did he?!

Good Drakken:
I did not.

Shego:
You didn't. Who knew the buffoon was a natural?

TV:
Danny wait, what about us? I told you, we're just friends and it has to stay that way

Ron:
Oh please, are they still teasing that Charity and Danny will get together?

Kim:
Like that's ever going to happen. Besides, it would end the series.

[Ron opens a shark tank under Shego]

Evil Ron:
Sidekicks need to know their place... right?

Shego:
Uh... uh... you got it! Uh, I'll just go check the security monitors. Hey, you know that evil laugh of yours? I-I love it! Loooove it!

Kim:
I never thought I would be saying this. But, Dr. Drakken: I'm counting on you.

Evil Ron:
We've got an intruder! Kim Possible! Get ready for a smackdown in my town!

Shego:
She's not on the monitors. How-how do you know?

Evil Ron:
Been doing a little "scannage" for the Kimmunicator's frequency!

Shego:
Rrrggh! Now why didn't he [Drakken] ever think of that?!

Evil Ron:
That's why I'm the big dog. WOOF WOOF, BARK!

Evil Ron:
Welcome, Kimberly Ann Possible!

Kim:
The middle name is so overkill.

Evil Ron:
Overkill? Isn't that the idea? A-booyahahahaha!

Drakken:
[back to normal] You ditched me for that?

Shego:
Did you see his mega-weather generator?!

Drakken:
You think you're all that, but you're-!

[Drakken gasps as his lair explodes.]

[After Joss, Kim's obsessed cousin, recognizes Rufus, but not Ron.]

Ron:
This is the pocket that Rufus comes out of!

Joss:
Uh... oh, yeah! You're the one who's always losing his drawers.

Ron:
Oh, sure, you save the world on a regular basis, and no one remembers your name. But you lose your pants six or eight times, and they never let you live it down!

Shego:
Do you always got to be the hero?

Kim:
Always got to be the pain?

Contestant:
Can I pick Kim twice?

Drakken:
How come no one ever picks me?

Contestant:
'Cause you're the creepy blue guy!

Evil Eye for the Bad Guy Host #1:
Blue is so last season.

Evil Eye for the Bad Guy Host #2:
This year is evil umber!

Doctor:
Blue skin? That means he's not breathing! Quick, somebody, get the jaws of life!

Drakken:
Aha, Kim Possible, you have fallen for my trap!

Kim:
Ron, you said this wasn't a trap.

Ron:
How can it be a trap if we knew that it was a trap?

Drakken:
Its a trap-trap.

Ron:
Oh, yeah okay.

[Kimmunicator beeps.]

Drakken:
Nargh, answer it.

Wade:
Kim, its a trap-trap.

Shego:
Okay, moving on...

Wade:
Just make sure you're not the one wearing-

Kim:
-a red shirt?

Commander:
And... you. You're expendable.

Ron:
...And... we are... back. I'm Ron... and we are... talking to Dr. Drakken... who is..

Drakken:
Here. ... to talk about.. this book!

Ron:
Your book?

Drakken:
Apparently.

Ron:
Ooh, great, what is it about?

Drakken:
Um... me. Its about me.

Ron:
Now you've been threatening to write a book for a while, can you tell me more?

Drakken:
Well, I... I rather like me.

Wade:
I'm gonna try and move you two into the same demension. Get ready.

Shego:
Agh, what fresh torment is this?

Wade:
Kim, did I match you up?

Kim:
Kind of...

Shego:
Not.

Kim:
There's been a cross over between Drakken's vortex inducer and the cable signal.

Shego:
Doy, I figured that out three channels ago!

Ron:
Ah! My pancreas!

Drakken:
Watch where you're going! [gasps] Its you! That.. that guy!

Ron:
Kim Possible's sidekick.

Drakken:
Um... uh... still not.. helping.

Ron:
Ron. Ron Stoppable.

Drakken:
Yes! That's exactly who you are, I- [music plays] what is that?

Ron:
The fearless ferret theme song.

Drakken:
Ah, quite right Shego! Time for us to escape and seal the pathways leaving Kim Possible and Company trapped forever!

Ron:
What- oh, man, come on, I'm not done with my soup!

Drakken:
That wasn't supposed to happen! I must have done something wrong.

Shego:
Yeah, seventh times the charm. [giggles] Gah! Why am I talking like this?

Shego:
Just not your day! Or dimension...

Kim:
Here they come!

Drakken:
Um, what comes where?

Shego:
[to Drakken] I blame you for this.

Drakken:
Come Shego, I've made some repairs to the compiler. Its time to leave this travesty!

Shego:
Um, that doesn't look very-

Drakken:
Stop being panic Nancy! [grabs her wrist and goes through the vortex]

Drakken:
[nervously] Shego, you're going to anger Mr. Sit-down..

Shego:
What? Oh.

Ron:
How many times is someone gonna feed me sheep's lungs cooked in its own stomach, before they get that I don't like it?!

Shego:
Where's Possible?

Ron:
SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!

Shego:
Whoa there, never said she was.

Ron:
Ooh... Heh-heh, awkward...

Kim:
[over the Kimmunicator] Hey, Wade.

Wade:
What's up, Kim?

Kim:
Have you heard from Ron? I haven't seen him all day.

[On the "Wadebot" monitor, Ron is running from a giant mutant flower.]

Ron:
AH! AH! IT'S GOT ME! OH MAN, IT'S GOT ME...!

Wade:
Ron? Uh... haven't heard a peep.

Dementor:
[laughing] With my mutagenic plants, I shall grow a new world! A world that I control!

Ron:
OW! THORNS! OH, THEY HURT WHEN THEY'RE POKING! OW!

Monkey Fist:
Ron Stoppable...

Ron:
You're the only one who ever gets my name right; I respect that.

Ron:
Sinking! Sinking! Oh man, now the tugging! Why is there tugging?!

Shego:
(reading the label of Drakken's mind-control shampoo) "Lather, Rinse, Obey." Aren't you being a little too upfront here?

Dr. Drakken:
Truth in labeling laws, Shego. I'm a supervillain, not a corporate shyster.

Kim:
Wow, Drakken is self-foiling now! Spankin'!

Drakken:
You know, after a scheme goes south, nothing cheers me up like kareoke night!

Drakken:
Shego, that's it! Yes! Really, no this time, trust me!

Shego:
What?

Drakken:
And here I thought I was the evil genius! You're brilliant!

Shego:
What are you talking about?

Drakken:
Who needs M.C.-what's-her-name...?

Shego:
Oh, no...

Drakken:
I can make sure that my shampoo is most wanted!

Shego:
Oh, please no...

Drakken:
I will become... A HIP-HOP STAR!

Shego:
I know I'm going to regret saying this, but you may have finally achieved "so dumb it just might work."

Ron:
You can't spell inspiration without procrastination!

Kim:
Eh... Yes, you can.

Ron:
Not the "ation" part. Booyah!

Drakken:
You think you're all that, but they are!

Dash DaMont:
I thought you were supposed to be some kind of Master of Monkey Kung Fu?

Ron:
You know, it's funny, it comes and goes...

Dash DaMont:
[preparing to fight Kim] I wish there was some other way...

Ron:
Really?

Dash DaMont:
No, I'm told we should always say that, for legal reasons.

[On a "gravy ghost" haunting the school cafeteria]

Wade:
I don't know what to tell you, Kim. After watching the cafeteria security tape, I can't explain what happened either.

Kim:
Did you analyze the gravy sample?

Wade:
Yup.

Monique:
And?

Wade:
You don't want to know. [pauses] Not till graduation. [pauses] From college.

Monique:
I say we trust him on the gravy.

Ron:
[walking in] Nacos, plenty of Diablo sauce and some snackies...

Kim:
Sneaking Bueno Nacho into school?

Ron:
Hey, KP! No, just picked up some snacks for a, erm, er... field trip [looks around guiltily]

Kim:
Field trip?

[Yori enters]

Yori:
Everything is ready, Stoppable-San.

Ron:
Yori! [nervously] Ha-ha, um Yori, this is Kim and Monique.

[Kim and Monique look sceptically at him]

Yori:
Ah! Kim Possible! [She bows] I have heard much!

Kim:
Really? I haven't. [Glares at Ron]

Ron:
Oh... sure, KP... you know Yori from seventh period History? No, no she's an old pal from Camp Wannaweep...

[Pause]

Ron:
We never met actually. What do you want? Who are you, stranger I do not know?

Kim:
But you just said her name is Yori.

Ron:
[nervously] Yori, well, it's a common name... ya know... in Japan... Well, I... I... I gotta go! Bye!

[Pulls Yori off with him]

Kim:
Well that was weird.

Monique:
Secret girlfriend weird?

Kim:
No! He'd tell me! I mean... why wouldn't he?

Monique:
'Cause you'd go all jell.

Kim:
"Jell"?

Monique:
Green-eyed.

Kim:
So? I've always had green eyes.

Monique:
Jealous. You're jelling!

Kim:
I am not jelling!

Monique:
Uh-huh.

Kim:
It's just that my weird-ar's going off, that's all.

Monique:
And you're jelling.

Kim:
So not!

Yori:
According to the map, we should be very near.

Ron:
Oh, good. Then it will be my honor to collapse from exhaustion.

Wade:
Does the name "Yamanouchi" mean anything to you?

Kim:
That school in Japan that Ron went to last year?

Wade:
Turns out it's a super-secret school...

Kim:
I knew he crushed on someone while he was there!

Wade:
That wasn't what I...

Kim:
What? You think I'm jelling? I'm not jelling! Why would I jell?

Wade:
Right...

Yori:
Oh, Stoppable-san, you make danger comical with your American-style buffoonery.

Ron:
If she liked me, then why couldn't she just say so? I mean, she was being all ninja about it.

Kim:
(awkwardly) Well... you got me.

Kim:
Thanks for the lift, Ricardo.

Ricardo:
De nada, Senorita Possible! After all, you saved my chicken farm when you dried up that mudslide!

Kim:
No big. One of the reasons I carry a cordless hair dryer.

(Gorilla Fist)

Kim:
I love what you're wearing.

Heather:
Girl, I totally know what you are saying. I had this man who would not leave me alone, he was practically stalking me.

Monique:
Get out!

Heather:
I won't! If he hadn't been my husband it would have been creepy.

Mr. Possible:
Honey, you know how I feel about "show people."

Mrs. Possible:
They're just like you and me. Except they're wealthy, beautiful and live by no recognizable moral code!

[Kim finally caught up with Ron at her locker]

Kim:
Now, about that favor...

Ron:
[nervously tries to walk away] Look, Kim, I...

Kim:
You see, tonight's the big Middleton days festival, and I don't have a date. [stops Ron from leaving]

Ron:
Date? You wanna go to the festival as my date?

Kim:
Oh, I thought you'd never ask!

Ron:
Wait, but, I...

[Ron is interrupted, when Kim begins to kiss him. After a brief confusion, Ron gives in and kisses her back]

Wade:
[appears on the screen] Hey guys, I...

[Wade is shocked, when he sees Kim and Ron kissing. He spits his soda and falls from his chair. The kiss ends, and Ron falls slowly to the floor, extremely happy.]

Wade:
Um, bad time to call?

Kim:
[giggles] Guess what the sitch is, Wade? [lifts Ron back up]

Wade:
I'm, um... Just wanted to let you know I've got a link to the communicator and... Were you guys just smacking lips?

Kim:
Great, Wade.

Ron:
Whatever you say.

Kim:
I'm gonna get ready for tonight. [gives Ron a cat growl as she leaves]

Wade:
What's going on? [Ron closes the locker on Wade] This isn't normal! Hello!?

Kim:
[in a rage] Nobody dumps Kim Possible!

Ron:
Breaking up is so not easy!

[Ron runs off with Kim furiously giving chase]

Drakken:
A scorned woman! Ha ha! The perfect weapon!

Dr. Bortel:
If she is wearing Moodulator number 1, then, where is the second one?

Drakken:
[realizing what Bortel means] The second one? Uh-oh!

Shego:
[with a fury] DRAKKEN!

[Shego attacks Drakken with her energy blasts. Drakken runs away screaming]

Ron:
[nervously] Still upset?

Kim:
[shows Ron the fried Moodulator] So not the drama!

Drakken:
So, Kim Possible, you were lucky this time.

Kim:
You might wanna be careful.

Drakken:
Ha! You threaten me?

Ron:
No, Shego still got some major Moodulator issues.

Shego:
[jumps in] DRAKKEN!

Drakken:
Mommy!

[Shego blasts Drakken with an energy blast, and he runs away with Shego chasing him]

Ron:
So I... I guess the crush and everything was all the Moodulator, huh?

Kim:
Not everything. There's still fireworks.

Ron:
You think so?

Kim:
[points to fireworks above them]

Scientist 1:
The device can create a black hole the size of Nevada.

Kim & Ron:
The pan-dimensional vortex-inducer?

Scientist 2:
: How did you know?

Kim:
Last year.

Ron:
Professor Dementor.

Kim:
Las Vegas.

Ron:
Almost went black hole.

Kim & Ron:
Saved the world.

Scientist 1:
Well, it's been stolen. Again.

Ron:
Aww, man, a rerun!

Drakken:
Its a trap-trap. No one ever expects a trap-trap.

[Kim and Shego fight as Rufus watches helplessly. Kim's Kimmunicator drops next to Rufus]

Wade:
Rufus, where's Kim?

Rufus:
Shego!

Kim:
[still fighting] Go, Wade. I'm listening.

Wade:
I found Ron. I'll try to move you guys to the same dimension.

Shego:
Oh, great, dweeb to the rescue.

Kim:
What makes you think you're coming with?

Shego:
Because this is way too... moopy for me.

Kim:
Moopy? Oh, you were on Pals? I love that show!

Shego:
Figures.

Drakken:
My lair. I'm back!

[Shego and Kim fall on top of Ron and Drakken]

Shego:
Well, well, the geek got us home.

[Kim and Shego continue fighting]

Man:
Well. Doth thou travel here with frequency young maid?

Shego:
Back off, barn boy!

Cast:
[grabbing pitchforks] A witch!

Shego:
A what?

Kim:
Where are we this time?

Shego:
I'm gonna say pro-wrestling.

Kim:
Mm. Good call.

Shego:
Could this be any easier?

Kim:
Uh, I don't think so.

Host:
We are ninety stories above a busy city street. Does that scare you?

Shego:
No.

Kim:
Not really.

Shego:
Should it?

Host:
Well yeah! Because we are talking about a bungee jump! [Kim and Shego look at each other] Aren't ya scared?

Kim:
No.

Shego:
Are you?

Host:
Why would I be- AHH! [Shego grabs him and jumps over the side of the building]

Shego:
Here we go, pretty boy!

Kim:
[exasperated] Shego! [jumps after them]

Wade:
Everything's back to normal... mostly.

Kim:
So what happened to Drakken?

Wade:
Looks like he took a detour.

Toys:
Lalalalalalalalalala!

Shego:
This is so worse than moopy.

Toy:
Today's color is green! Do you see anything green?

Shego:
Yeah, I got your green, felt-face!

Drakken:
[nervously] Shego, you're going to anger Mr. Sit-down.

Shego:
What? Oh.

Ron:
You're gonna step on me? How ironic is that!

Kim:
Ron!

Ron:
KP? What are you doing?

Kim:
Rescuing you. [to Yori]] Nice try.

Ron:
Whoa! Are you freaking over my friend Yori?

Kim:
I am not freaking! I am not jelling!

Ron & Yori:
Jelling?

Ron:
What's jelling?

Kim:
Never mind jelling! Your "friend", Yori, is working for Monkey Fist.

Ron:
No! She's just my... She... What was the last thing I told you?

Yori:
You may tell her.

Ron:
Really? You sure?

Kim:
She's sure. Spill.

Director:
I'm on to the next big thing!

Kim:
What's that?

Director:
Monkey Ninjas in Space!

Kim:
Been there.

Ron:
Done that.