Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Season 3

Southerland:
[after he is questioned about the murder of his son-in-law] If you're asking me if I'm glad he's dead, the answer is yes. If you're asking me if I killed him, the answer is no, although I would like to buy the fellow who did it a drink.

Dr. Huang:
[about the use of sodium amytal] It's called False Memory Syndrome. I think of it as the power of suggestion run amok.

Benson:
We've gotten warrants based on less, why are you stonewalling?

Alex:
This is different and you know it. Once a judge hears the suspect's history, he's gonna bend over backwards for the guy.

Benson:
I saw him, Alex. Plummer is stalking me.

Alex:
How did he know where you were when he was in the interview room being questioned?

Benson:
He must've overheard.

Alex:
Okay, how many businesses are in the area near Chauncey's?

Benson:
I don't know, several. Why? Where are you going with this?

Alex:
Any decent defense attorney is going to say that Mr. Plummer was in the area running errands, that it was just a coincidence.

Benson:
He has killed 4 people and we're doing nothing.

Alex:
How many drinks did you have? Olivia, the system made a mistake before, now everything we do is under a microscope.

Benson:
[pause] I wasn't drunk.

Fin:
3 marriages, no children. You ever consider adopting?

Munch:
The kindest thing I could ever do for a kid is not adopt.

Alex:
[after the captain blows up at a suspect] You lost your cool. You are too emotionally-invested in this case!

Captain Cragen:
Damn right.

Alva:
You happy now?

Stabler:
Mrs. Tate, I'm sorry about Leon.

Alva:
Don't you dare say you're sorry. You're glad he's dead. He didn't kill those girls, but you killed him anyway. You murdered him.

Fin:
Mrs. Tate, Detective Stabler was doing his job.

Alva:
My son was innocent.

Fin:
Your son was gonna kill somebody with his HIV. We had to stop him. We didn't put the needle in his arm.

Alva:
You didn't. But you all stick together, don't you? (storms off)

[during arraignment on the drug charge]

Judge Preston:
Remand, Miss Cabot? On a third-degree possession charge?

Alex:
Mr. Harris provided the drugs to young women. The People believe he is a danger to the community.

Judge Preston:
Counsel, approach. [Alex and Conrad approach the bench] Miss Cabot, I have 40 more cases on the docket, and you're wasting my time on this frivolous garbage?

Alex:
Your honor, it is the People's position that we...

Judge Preston:
You screwed up your murder case, and now you want me to do your dirty work for ya? Not gonna happen. Step back. [the attorneys return to their positions] Bail is set at $2,000, cash only. [bangs gavel] Next case.

Rodney:
[charges at King] You son of a bitch!

[he punches the defendant and gets him in a stranglehold]

Rodney:
You killed my sister, man! He's a cold-blooded murderer!

Judge Preston:
Officers! Officers! Officer! Clear the court!

[King bites Rodney on the arm; the court officers and detectives break up the fight]

Rodney:
He just bit me! The bastard bit me!

King:
[escorted out] C'mon! Bring it! Come on!

Judge Preston:
Remove that man!

Rodney:
You can't fight like a man, but you kill little girls!

Fin:
We'll take him!

Rodney:
Take me?

Fin:
Yeah. You under arrest for assault.

Rodney:
Whoa! He gets away with murderin' my sister, and you takin' me?!

Fin:
Shh! Just shut up.

[the detectives catch King]

Fin:
It's over, your highness.

King:
You ain't got nothin' on me.

Munch:
Just takin' a bite outta crime.

Benson:
Just like you took a bite outta Rodney Thompson's arm.

Stabler:
You left your DNA. Thought you were smarter than that.

King:
[on the verge of a death sentence for the murders] I want a deal.

Fin:
[snickers] Want a deal? How 'bout right before we execute you for killin' those girls, I bring you your last meal? How's that?

Dr. Warner:
Perp goes through the trouble of bringing a semi-automatic with him, why not just shoot the guy?

Benson:
Where'd the fun be in that?

Dr. Huang:
Do you gamble, Elliot?

Elliot Stabler:
Only with birth control.

Cragen:
It's a case of he said, she said, he's dead.

[Investigating a series of rapes/homicides resembling those of the 'Soho Strangler', Stabler is paired with John 'Hawk' Hawkins, who put a man away for those crimes 18 years ago. Unfortunately, it begins to look as if that man was innocent all along.]

Fin:
[after meeting Hawk for the first time] Who the hell was that?

Stabler:
Wyatt Earp.

Hawk:
[about Benson] Your partner always so friendly?

Stabler:
She just doesn't like you.

Hawk:
[amused] Wait 'til she gets to know me.

Stabler:
[about Hawkins' style] I just don't like grand-standers.

Hawk:
I thought you were going to say grandfathers. That was a tough one to lose.

Stabler:
[angrily] That jury sent him home to rape that kid all over again.

Hawk:
Did you make your case?

Stabler:
I had him nailed.

Hawk:
Then you did your job.

Stabler:
[snorts] That's not good enough anymore.

Hawk:
Well it has to be, 'cause that's all there is.

Stabler:
I told that little girl that everything was going to be okay.

Hawk:
And I told the parents of Roger's victims that he'd rot in prison.

Stabler:
Well at least you put him away for 18.

Hawk:
Yeah, well, at least you gave that little girl a few days' peace. We never win this war, Elliot.

Stabler [sighs] Just so tired of losing.

Stabler:
Oh God bless the lawyers.

Hawk:
[reviews old files after he has been drinking] I took 18 years from an innocent man. There's no way I can make that right.

Stabler:
So what're you going to do, quit? What are you going to tell the parents of those girls? You made them a promise, and if you're the man I think you are, you'll keep it.

[Hawk has chased the killer to the roof of a building; when Stabler catches up, the suspect is clinging to the ledge as Hawk watches, ready to let him fall]

Stabler:
Hawk? Hawk, don't do this.

Hawk:
Don't do what, partner?.

Stabler:
We both know this isn't right.

Hawk:
We both know the system sucks. This way it's just natural selection. [steps on the suspect's hand]

Stabler:
Hawk, you do this, you're no better than he is.

Hawk:
He sure as hell won't kill anybody else.

Stabler:
This is no way to end it. Come on.

Hawk:
He's an evil man, Elliot.

Stabler:
And all it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.

Hawk:
You gonna let an old drunk do all the work? Gimme a hand.

[Stabler walks up to him, and the two help the suspect onto the roof and cuff him]

Fin:
Can't you call in a favor?

Alex:
After working with this unit, I don't have that many left.

Dr. Huang:
Some geneticists theorise that violence is inherited.

Benson:
It's not my fault. I was just born to kill.

Benson:
[about a man who was convicted of rape and murder] Does he have a choice? Does anyone?

Dr. Huang:
You don't hurt people, Olivia. You protect them. You're proof that we do have a choice.

Benson:
Or ... or maybe I'm just lucky.

Captain Cragen:
[after seeing Munch and Fin play SwordQuest] Maybe we should rethink the squad room video arcade.

Benson:
What exactly is a gorgon?

Dr. Huang:
Are you familiar with Medusa?

Stabler:
Glen's abuser is a woman.

[during Glenn's testimony, Dorothy drops her cane, shocking him]

Alex:
Your honor, I object to the blatant ongoing intimidation tactics by the defendant!

Dorothy:
I didn't do anything.

Glenn:
LIAR! You beat her! You beat her the whole day.

Dorothy:
I took you in when no one else wanted you!!

Glenn:
Cassie was crying, and you kept hitting her. She tried to run away, and you made Aunt Jane tie her down. She was so little. You were supposed to protect her. But you beat her with the cane all day. You killed her! You killed her!

Alex:
Who died?

Stabler:
Dorothy Rudd.

Alex:
Please tell me you're kidding.

Munch:
Just got a call from Rikers. Massive heart attack.

Fin:
Bitch didn't even suffer.

Captain Cragen:
Anybody else feel cheated?

Benson:
Prosecution abated by death. Sucks.

Stabler:
That's it. No vindication, nobody pays.

Stabler:
Female rage is a growth industry.

Benson:
So we're saying all men are sex-hounds, and only women can feel violated?

Fin:
[about Amelia] Her secretary said she should be done by now. These day traders live pretty good; short hours, spa days. What the hell is she doing in there?

Munch:
Beauty treatments take time; mud baths, silica dissapation, exfoliating facial. Time and money ... some women learn early how to waste both.

Fin:
Your ex-wives made you bitter.

Munch:
Not bitter, just resigned.

Benson [to Stabler] Hey, you know everyone in that room is on your side. But we're not mind-readers.

Stabler:
[about his wife] One of us has to be able to sleep at night. She thinks I'm shutting her out.

Benson:
You are. That's exactly what you do. You keep this up, you're gonna ruin the best thing you've ever had.

Dr. Huang:
Most species aren't naturally monogamous.

Munch:
That explains my marital history.

Alex:
[while offering a deal] Life without parole.

Fuentes:
What kind of a deal is that?

Alex:
The kind that keeps you breathing.

Munch [about questioning a young boy] I'll go. I speak 10-year-old.

Munch:
[while looking at a board filled with thumbtacks representing chemical plants] Garden State, my ass. I guess chemical capital of the world didn't have the same zing.

Benson:
[about the dead bodies in the park] He's got a wedding ring. Is this a married couple?

Stabler:
Trust me, married couples don't have sex in parks.

Baker:
Criminology 101, detective. If you're gonna break the law, you don't want witnesses around.

Stabler:
You think you're real cute, don'tcha?

Baker:
23 cheerleaders can't be wrong.

Stabler:
I know where you live, I know where you learn and I know where you bury your kill. You get used to my face 'cause you're gonna be seeing it every time you turn around.

Baker:
Don't lose your head, Detective. You're having enough trouble finding one.

Stabler:
[to the suspect] That year you're gonna be doing on your head? Add 25 more and choke on it.

[A woman's body is found near her car after she was raped. Detectives Benson and Tutuola are paired to discover what the motive was, as well as why was her car's trunk full of forged drugs.]

Fin:
All right, nice dress.

Benson:
Yeah, it was a nice date. Where's Munch?

Fin:
He banged in sick.

Benson:
He's such a hypochondriac. How many times has he had anthrax this week?

[Munch walks in on crutches]

Fin:
I can't wait to hear this.

Munch:
Your sympathy is overwhelming.

Benson:
What happened to you?

Munch:
Skydiving, hard landing.

Stabler:
He wiped out riding his friend's Harley.

Cragen:
Now the only thing he'll be riding is a desk.

Benson:
These cases have too much in common. Same area, same time of night...

Fin:
Paula Grace was front page news. There's enough details for Franscesca to fake hers.

Benson:
There is no way that she could have faked being that traumatised. I'm telling you Captain, this woman was raped.

Fin:
I just don't want to send the rat squad on some witch hunt and screw some innocent cop.

Benson:
Neither do I.

Fin:
Could have been anybody in a uniform, didn't have to be a real cop.

Benson:
Doesn't matter. This woman is a rape victim until we prove otherwise.

Stabler:
Alex, how many phone calls from victims have you gotten asking why you lost a case and what you're gonna do about it?

Alex:
I've had my share.

Stabler:
And how many times do you actually get a second chance?

Munch:
Tell me again how my partner failed to get his weapon re-certification?

Benson:
He choked!

Fin:
I didn't choke!

Benson:
Okay. You got poor marks for shooting off your gun early.

Munch:
It happens to everybody. You know, they have a pill for that now.

McKenzie:
Kids tend to lie when their backs are against the wall.

Stabler:
Adults too.

Captain Cragen:
Since when is oral sex not sex?

Benson:
Since Bill Clinton said it wasn't.

[Benson and Stabler watch surveillance tapes of a couple having sex]

Benson:
He, uh, really seems to favor that one position.

Stabler:
Least he's consistent.

Benson:
Boring, I think, is the word you're looking for.

Dr. Huang:
He may believe he's in a relationship that doesn't even exist.

Munch:
Sounds like me with my 4 ex-wives.

Stabler:
Barnett's being processed. We're headin' to Mulligan's to celebrate.

Fin:
You're probably not gonna wanna do that.

Benson:
And why's that?

Fin:
Dad's mad.

Captain Cragen:
[to Benson and Stabler] Get your asses in my office.

[Alex finds Judge Petrovsky coming out of an elevator]

Judge Petrovsky:
Stalking me, counselor?

Alex:
I need a search warrant.

Judge Petrovsky:
What are we searching for?

Alex:
Videotapes of Roy Barnett engaged in sex acts with minors.

Judge Petrovsky:
You're kidding! Where are they?

Alex:
Sam Cavanaugh's house.

Judge Petrovsky:
[scoffs] His mother would rather see you dead than let you search the place. Information from a reliable source? Don't start.

Alex:
He was a victim of Roy Barnett's until 5 years ago.

Judge Petrovsky:
Which is old news. What's the rest of the story?

Alex:
He's in Sing Sing for aggravated sexual abuse-1 plus a separate fraud conviction.

Judge Petrovsky:
I can't believe you're even asking!

Alex:
Roy Barnett is a serial child molester. He will not stop.

Judge Petrovsky:
Neither of which is a reason to grant a warrant.

Alex:
The tapes are.

Judge Petrovsky:
You have no idea whether they even exist.

Alex:
This is our last chance. I have to risk it.

Judge Petrovsky:
I won't order a search based on the dubious word of a convicted pedophile! You look like Hell, Alexandra. Get some sleep.

Kressler:
Linda Cavanaugh never consented to any search! The Assistant District Attorney lied her way in by claiming the apartment was a crime scene.

Alex:
Sam Cavanaugh's alleged suicide attempt was never investigated.

Judge Petrovsky:
Miss Cabot, you're not going to sell that here. Don't even try it.

Kressler:
This was a blatant 4th Amendment violation, sanctioned and indeed carried out by the People. Therefore, any evidence found must be suppressed.

Alex:
Mr. Barnett's 4th Amendment rights were not violated. Linda Cavanaugh's certainly were, but she isn't the defendant. Mr. Barnett is. He has no standing to contest a search of someone else's home.

Kressler:
Are you actually arguing that you can march in like the Gestapo and search any private residence?!

Alex:
I'm arguing I can search any private residence that doesn't belong to your client, and it will have no bearing on these proceedings.

Judge Petrovsky:
While I deplore the Assistant District Attorney's actions, I am forced to agree that the illegal search of Linda Cavanaugh's residence is a civil tort. The defendant's privacy was not violated, and therefore, he has no legal standing to contest the search. Motion to suppress the evidence is denied. Miss Cabot, I scarcely know where to begin. The liberties you have taken. The disdain you have shown toward the law in this court are highly unethical and a disgrace to your position. Be assured I will recommend your office to look into your actions. And you have done yourself a real disservice in my courtroom. I won't forget it.

Alex:
I take full responsibility for my actions.

Donnelly:
Of course. You did it for the greater good, the safety of society. Bull. You did this for you.

Alex:
I did this for hundreds of Barnett's future victims.

Donnelly:
One. One victim. Sam Cavanaugh. Did it work? Did it assuage your guilt?

Alex:
No. I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon.

Donnelly:
I've got news for you. It won't happen. Ever.

[In investigating the sexual assault of a 16-year-old, it's discovered that the victim is the rebellious stepdaughter of a judge, who is an old friend of Cragen's with dark secrets.]

Donnelly:
Need I remind you that I am responsible for the integrity of this entire bureau?

Alex:
A judge has used the power of the court to further his own agenda. If the light we shine on him isn't brighter than the light we shine on the public, then this bureau has no integrity.

[Stabler thinks Thornburg may have abused his stepdaughter]

Captain Cragen:
Thornburg? One of the most respected jurists in the state?

Stabler:
Which doesn't mean squat to me if he raped an 11-year-old girl.

Benson:
3 fireplaces. Guy could have come in through the chimney.

Stabler:
Maybe we should be looking for a guy in a red suit.

Benson:
I got coffee cups, candy wrappers and half eaten sandwiches. They should really think about cleaning this out every 2 years.

[Benson and Stabler enter to find Dr. Warner inspecting a dessicated finger under a magnifying glass]

Dr. Warner:
It's official. The finger's dead.

Alex:
The People have requested remand.

Judge Petrovsky:
Well, you're not gonna get it. 300,000.

Alex:
Objection!

Judge Petrovsky:
Overruled.

Alex:
Your honor, I must object. Since you've rebuked me from manipulating the law to my own advantage, your ruling seems hypocritical.

Judge Petrovsky:
That's enough. One more word out of you, and you'll be enjoying my hospitality.

Alex:
Ma'am, I urge you to reconsider, or you will force me to file a grievance.

Judge Petrovsky:
You're in contempt. Bailiff!

[the ADA leaves the courtroom]

Claire:
You have no idea what it's like to have a mother who doesn't give a damn about you.

Fin:
[reads newspaper] Violin's gonna start in any minute.

Claire:
[to Fin] I could hug you, but I can tell you don't like to be touched.

Benson:
We blame all kinds of people for creating monsters. Why not ourselves?

Benson:
Entry wound from the back. He was running away.

Stabler:
That tends to happen when you're looking in the barrel of a gun.

Fin:
Why do we always get stuck looking for the needle in the haystack?

Munch:
Takes me back to the Easter egg hunts of my youth.

Fin:
You're Jewish. Your parents hid eggs?

Munch:
My point exactly. All those hours of futile searching.

Cragen:
Any alarm bells going off on the husband?

Stabler:
Several. He's hiding something.

Benson:
Getting off while choking isn't something you share with friends and family. People are always shocked when they get that kind of news.

Benson [about the victim's husband] His laundry is nicer than my entire wardrobe. Folds and labels them:
Whites, colors, dry cleaning. :Stabler: Anything marked "bloody clothes"?

Baker:
My shrink says I have an aggressive orientation toward the world. Something about a predatory drive. She says if I don't rechannel it, I could end up as... what'd she say? A cop.

Kathy:
You played me, Elliot. You carried on that conversation, drawing information out of me like I was your witness.

Stabler:
You know what happens to rape victims when they don't deal with the trauma. This girl's got drug and alcohol abuse in her future just to dull the pain. And then comes the inability to connect, the promiscuity because she thinks she had it coming to her. Either way, she's screwed until she gets help. A teacher is responsible and you know I just can't let this slide.

Kathy:
I know you too well for that, but everything has a price and I just hope that you can pay it.

Benson:
Your friends are scared and in pain just like you, Cynthia, but they don't have half of your resilience and half of your courage.

Cynthia Wilmont:
Sure.

Benson:
You were raped and you went to that hospital all by yourself. Do you know that there are grown women who couldn't cope with that situation the way you have?

Cynthia Wilmont:
Really?

Benson:
Yeah, really.

Alex:
He's as bad as his client! Hoping the victim is too traumatized to testify. He's lucky I didn't knock his teeth down his throat!

Captain Cragen:
I'd pay real money to see that.

Munch:
Captain, you got a second?

Cragen:
What's up, John?

Munch:
Bad timing. I got jury duty in an hour.

Cragen:
And you're just telling me now? Get your ass down there. It's your civic duty, John. The Mayor can do it, so can you.

Edwin Todd:
[to his wife] You know what? This was all a mistake. Yes, I stole your money. She was only supposed to take your watch. You weren't supposed to get hurt. You're upset. We need to get away, just you and me, huh? Anywhere you want to go.

Jessica Blaine-Todd:
The only place you're going is to hell.