Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Season 4

Lewin:
Do you really think the first woman the state executes should be a single mother, prostitute, rape victim...

Donnelly:
Serial killer.

Dr. Huang:
I'm not confident with calling the suspect a serial killer.

Fin:
How many guys she gotta whack until you're confident?

Benson:
Sit down in the chair, Maggie.

Maggie:
Where's Elliot?

Benson:
Just us girls now. Sit! That act of yours was a whole lotta fun to watch. But you should know that it's not gonna work with me.

Maggie:
What act?

Benson:
Pretend to be a victim, you can pretend to be a whore, you can pretend to be whatever it is you wanna be. It's a joke. Maggie, you're done.

Maggie:
Where's my son?

Benson:
Oh... see, that's not gonna work either.

Maggie:
I do not believe that you are talking to me this way. I was raped more times than I can remember!

Benson:
Right, and your mom died, and your dad beat ya. [slides a paper towards Maggie] Your mom's alive. No dad on the birth certificate. You never knew him, did you? Was your mom a pro, too?

Maggie:
Where's my son? I need to see him.

Benson:
Your son? You're never gonna see that kid again. You murdered 7 men for a hotel room and a manicure!

Maggie:
They raped me!

Benson:
You want the whole world to think that you're a victim? Well, Maggie, you're getting your wish. Because the state's gonna kill you.

[Benson and Stabler find Lawrence and Gloria arguing over custody of Chloe]

Lawrence:
[about Gloria] She raped my son. God knows what she did to my daughter.

Gloria:
Our daughter!

Lawrence:
You don't deserve to be a mother! You're disgusting!

Gloria:
Yeah, make up some more stories. Everyone knows it so you can get out of child support when I...!

Lawrence:
I'm gonna kill you if you touch my children!

Stabler:
[holds him back] Mr. FULLER! I don't wanna hear another threat like that. Now, am I clear?

Munch:
[to Kyle] You have the right to an attorney. You want my advice? Don't take one that's on your mother's payroll.

Alex:
During the course of their investigation, SVU detectives discovered the defendant left his jurisdiction, violating the conditions of his bail agreement.

Langan:
This was obviously not an attempt to skip bail, your honor, as evidenced by the fact that my client was on his way back to New York before the detectives knew he was gone.

Alex:
The sole purpose of this trip was to travel to the state of Virginia, which allows non-residents to obtain marriage licenses without waiting periods or blood tests.

Judge Ridenour:
[surprised] He skipped town to get married?

Alex:
Virginia also allows a person under the age of 18 to marry with the permission of a legal guardian, despite the fact that the defendant was, in fact, marrying his legal guardian, his stepmother, Gloria Stanfield, currently under investigation for child abuse and murder.

Langan:
None of this is relevant to the matter of bail, your honor.

Alex:
But it is relevant to the defendant's trial. This marriage is an attempt to abuse spousal privilege and circumvent the very investigation which may land the defendant in jail.

Judge Ridenour:
[about Kyle and Gloria's marriage] Whether or not the defendant intended to avoid prosecution, he violated his bail agreement. Bail is revoked. The defendant is remanded. [to Kyle] Congratulations on your nuptials, young man. [bangs gavel]

Gloria:
[to Kyle as she's arrested for the murder] You have no idea what you're doing.

Kyle:
No. I know exactly what I'm doing, Mom.

Munch:
[after observing the victim who has Alzheimer's] Sad. When this steel trap starts to rust, call Kevorkian.

Fin:
Consider that done.

Stabler:
I never want to grow old.

Benson:
In our line of work, be careful what you wish for.

Fin:
[to Munch] I told you you should've left that mutt in the car.

Munch:
You know how many dogs die in locked cars every year?

Fin:
You know how many cops shoot their partner and get off on a justifiable?

Munch:
There's a fine line between the right to privacy and prevention.

Benson:
People have a right to know if they've been exposed to HIV.

Munch:
Yeah, I just get a little nervous when the government starts drawing up lists.

Fin:
Please don't get him started. He goes off on black helicopters and we'll be here all night.

Arthur:
[during the interrogation] I was alive again for the first time in years. Greta was going to take it away. I had to stop her.

Claudia:
You cannot interrogate the prisoner about the federal case against her or anything related to it.

Benson:
What if her criminal affiliations directly relate to the attack?

Claudia:
Well if Miss Curry's business associates were involved, she'd be in the morgue.

Captain Cragen:
I got a call from the US attorney's office with assurances; as soon as we make an arrest they will produce Amanda Curry for trial.

Benson:
How are we supposed to do this without the cooperation of our complaining victim?

Dr. Warner:
Jansen's genitals weren't exactly cut off. They were surgically excised ... Removed with a scalpel by someone who knows anatomy, and pre-mortem. [points to Stabler's neck] An amateur would have cut his throat straight across. Jansen's killer made precise cuts on the carotid artery here, and here, after... [starts to point to Stabler's groin]

Stabler:
You don't need to demonstrate that part.

Tony:
I don't know what you're talking about.

[Stabler throws him against the wall and roughs him up a little]

Stabler:
You think I am some dumb cop? You think you're smarter than me?

Munch:
Elliot!

Tony:
I need a doctor!

Stabler:
You're gonna need a morgue, pal!

Tony:
[about Stewart] That rat bastard!

Munch:
You'll have to be more specific. There's a lot of them running around in this case.

Walt:
Shawn seduced me. How could I deny him? I didn't force Shawn. I never beat him like Jansen beat his boys. It's not the same thing!

Stabler:
You're right. It's worse. You had sex with your stepson and you don't think there's anything wrong with that? What kind of sick bastard are you?

[after seeing Munch and Fin arguing]

Stabler:
Lover's quarrel?

Fin:
It's gonna be a domestic disturbance if Munch don't get outta my face.

Terry:
Girls are lucky. They can play with dolls. Boys aren't supposed to.

Fin:
I had dolls.

Terry:
You did? What kind?

Fin:
You know, G.I. Joe, Batman.

Terry:
Those are action figures.

Ronnie:
What's your problem?

Fin:
Your daughter's dead, and there's not one cell in your junkie body that gives a damn!

Stabler:
She's been in a coma. I don't understand why you called us.

Dr. Sedaly:
Because of the pneumonia, I ordered a chest x-ray, and the lab automatically ran its standard tests. Hers turned up positive.

Stabler:
For what?

Dr. Sedaly:
A baby. She's 6 weeks pregnant.

Captain Cragen:
Counselor, question. Umm, what would it take to blanket-DNA an entire facility?

Alex:
A constitutional amendment.

Stabler:
[sees Dr. Warner enter the restaurant where he and Benson are eating lunch] An ME out of the lab? It must be big.

Dr. Warner:
I got the report back from the contents of the vomit.

Benson:
Am I gonna wanna stop eating for this?

Dr. Warner:
Roast beef, mozzarella cheese, corn, and raisins. Luckily, it had only been in the stomach a few hours, so it was only partially digested.

Benson:
All right, I'm done. [pushes her salad away]

Stabler:
[about 2 other children] Can you tell me who they are?

Sally:
That's Philip, and that's Antoine.

Stabler:
Who's their mom?

Sally:
Mom is.

Stabler:
Okay. Who's their real mom?

Sally:
My mom is, stupid! They're my brothers.

Benson:
You used your own daughter.

Angie:
No. Those men did. Randall and Eno.

Benson:
They swear that they didn't!

Angie:
But they're lying!

Stabler:
Either you let them rape your daughter, or your husband took their semen out of you and did it himself.

Angie:
That's disgusting.

Stabler:
YOU'RE DISGUSTING!! YOU ARE! Your own child!

[The SVU team cooperates with a Homicide detective when a 6 year old shooting victim tests positive for gonorrhea.]

Detective:
If Missy had kept her mouth shut, could've been a perfect crime.

Captain Cragen:
Hey, you don't know there's been a trampoline in the room, you won't dust the ceiling for prints.

Captain Cragen:
Tell me this isn't as bad as it seems.

Alex:
Oh, it is.

Captain Cragen:
And Missy's immunity is etched in stone?

Alex:
We can't touch her. We're screwed.

Missy:
You can't kill me. I'm already dead.

Fin:
[on phone] I'm not tryin' to be difficult. Odafin Tutuola. Tutuola! You need me to spell it for you? C'mon!

Tucker:
You need anger management, Captain.

Capt. Cragen:
And you need to kiss my ass!

Edmunds:
We got called out on a domestic case. The husband and wife were going at each other, as soon as we walked in the door, I didn't see the gun. Cooper jumped in front of me and held the bullet in his hand.

Benson:
And you've been repaying the favor since?

Edmunds:
He saved my life.

Benson:
He did it for 2 Mercedes and a condo.

Munch:
Excuse me if I'm alarmed by the totally disregard for human rights in this country.

Fin:
If you got a problem with it, why don't you get your bony ass outta here?

Donnelly:
Someone killed a child. It's our duty to speak for the victim.

Alex:
So now we're the pregnancy police? We're violating a woman's rights for what amounts to a Hail Mary.

Donnelly:
This isn't about abortion rights, Alex. We are talking about a one month old infant.

Alex:
Okay, so what if that does work? What are we supposed to do, question every single woman who bought an EPT kit at the drugstore?

Schwartz:
I used to think I was alone. Now I know I'm not. You want to lock us up? Go ahead. That won't shut us up. There are millions of us, and we aren't going away.

Bishop:
Tough gig. Gotta love it, though.

Stabler:
No, you gotta hate it. That's the only way you'll be any good at it.

Alex:
Thank you. You've offered a provocative theory. What it lacks in substance, it makes up for in pretty colors.

Bernardo:
So...say I had the urge to call opposing counsel an uptight, self-righteous little bitch. My frontal lobe knows that means sanctions and it keeps my mouth shut?

Stabler:
You call beating the crap out of her intense? Huh? You little prick. You did this to her.

Drew:
Yes, I did do this, but she wanted me to.

Benson:
No! No woman wants this!

Drew:
Carmen did! This was her thing!

Benson:
So you beat and rape her because it was "her thing"?

Candace:
What have you done?

Douglas:
I let you turn my son into a monster!

Priscilla:
We request a speedy trial date. My client is eager to prove his innocence. An opportunity the ADA denied him in the grand jury.

Alex:
The District Attorney is under no obligation to inform...

Judge Ridenour:
I know the law, Miss Cabot. I also know your reputation for bending it.

Tommy:
[to Dan, before his testimony] You killed Jill.

Munch:
Both parole officers claim they're squeaky clean.

Stabler:
Squeaky clean sex offender, now that's a new one.

Duethorn:
This city's a 3-ring circus, and SVU's the freak show.

Fin:
And you want to be the ringmaster.

Duethorn:
I want to know what makes them freaks.

Fin:
You had a threesome?

Maria:
Yeah, until it became a twosome... and I wasn't one of the 2.

Alex:
[about a transgender murder suspect] I guess I'm more sympathetic to Cheryl than a prosecutor should be.

Branch:
Maybe you'd like to defend her instead.

Alex:
She sure could use better representation than that self-serving snake Berger.

Branch:
Reptile though he may be, Morty Berger is a damn good attorney. He deserves a worthy adversary. Think about this: Who's going to give Cheryl a fair chance -- you, or some other prosecutor who'll put her gender on trial?

Berger:
I told Cheryl about your deal. But she wants to go to trial.

Alex:
She does or you do?

Berger:
Do you know why I became a lawyer, Alex?

Alex:
Uh, to see your face on TV?

Russ:
The rape charges on my client are bogus. And how did he get hurt between his home and the station house?

Alex:
I don't know, how did he? [looks at Fin and Stabler]

Fin:
He fell.

Russ:
Bull.

Alex:
The only injuries I see are Mr. Gardner's torn knuckles from punching Detective Benson in the face, so unless you want to add the assault of a police officer to the list of charges, I suggest you move on.

Benson:
Your one night as a bachelor, and you went grocery shopping? That's pretty pathetic.

Stabler:
It was a grocery store with strippers.

Alvarez:
[to the detectives] Why would you stick a plunger up Abner Louima's ass?

Alex:
[her closing argument] Some of you may believe that Perry Williams raped Vanessa Bevins in that alley. But Perry Williams is not on trial here. In fact, he never got his day in court at all. So, in the eyes of the law, he is innocent until proven guilty. Even if his guilt had been established, beyond a reasonable doubt, he could not have been executed for his crime. Ray Bevins executed Perry Williams. He shot a man who was on his knees, begging for his life. Now, some of you may think that he deserved to die. But you have to ask yourselves if he would execute a man whose guilt had not been proven. We have all felt the need for revenge at some point in our lives. We have all lashed out in pain and anger, and we have all thought that justice means an eye for an eye. But is that justice? Does Perry Williams' family now have the right to kill Ray Bevins? Does Ray Bevins' family then have the right to retaliate against Perry Williams? When would it stop? An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

[after Ray's conviction]

Stabler:
Ray, I'm sorry.

Ray:
I'm not.

Munch:
One of the perps was a 6-foot tall white man. Makes you a viable suspect.

Wolfford:
This is bull!

Fin:
No, that's racial profiling. Sucks, don't it?

Benson:
You think that your mother can't be broken? You think you're in total control of her? You just watch me!

Wilkens:
Bring it on, bitch.

Fin:
Cause of death was between two and four hours ago... pre-release.

Stabler:
Is that significant?

Fin:
No, that's just cold.

U.S. Marshal #2:
How much do you make a year?

Stabler:
It depends on overtime, but why don't we say $68,940.

U.S. Marshal #2:
Must be hard to make ends meet with a family of 6.

Stabler:
I'm a cop.

U.S. Marshal #2:
And the NYPD has a history of being squeaky clean.

Stabler:
I want my phone call.

U.S. Marshal #2:
We can hold you for up to 72 hours without giving you one. Fallout from 9/11. Who else did you talk to?

Stabler:
I'm done talking. Charge me or let me go.

U.S. Marshal #2:
Have a seat.

Stabler:
You know we had nothing to do with the hit. I'm not confessing, so why don't you just let me go? You think I don't use these tactics myself?

U.S. Marshal #2:
I can make you sit down, Detective Stabler. Up to you.

Bernardo:
These are scientific studies proving that an adolescent's brain is significantly different than an adult, that in fact our brains aren't fully formed until we are in our early twenties

Donnelly:
And I can present scientific studies which prove my cat is trying to kill me in my sleep.

Benson:
You wouldn't do what they did.

Fin:
It's not like I haven't thought about it, every cop alive has.

Benson:
There's a difference in thinking about it and actually doing it.

[Patty informs her parents of her recent abortion]

Roger:
You're pregnant?

Patty:
No, Daddy. Not anymore.

Roger:
You stupid slut.

Stabler:
Mr. Swanson...

Roger:
What, you just spread your legs for the first dropout punk who comes sniffin' around?

Stabler:
Sir, calm down. Calm down.

Benson:
[to Patty] We know that you didn't mean to hurt anyone.

Mrs. Swanson:
For God's sake, Patty, what happened?

Patty:
I killed my baby. God, I killed my baby. I'm so sorry, Daddy.

Roger:
What did you do? What?!

Patty:
I went to this place on 96th Street.

Stabler:
A clinic?

Patty:
Yes. [to her father] I'm so sorry. I just didn't know where else to go.

Roger:
You had an abortion? Without my permission?!

Benson:
The law says that she doesn't need it.

Roger:
Like Hell, she doesn't!

Stabler:
I've asked you to calm down. Now I'm tellin' you to sit down. Sit down.

[Roger sits back down]

Benson:
Patty, we're gonna need your okay to check the story with the clinic. All right?

Patty:
All right.

[Stabler walks up to Fin after Patty confessed to her parents about her abortion]

Fin:
How'd it go?

Stabler:
Only crime here is that her father's a prick.

Fin:
And a wife-beater.

Stabler:
What'd you say?

Fin:
Swanson has half a dozen domestic violence collars. His wife never pressed charges, but the local precinct knows their address by heart.

[as the Swansons are about to leave, Roger approaches Stabler]

Roger:
Listen to me, Detective. You ever speak to me that way again, and I'll make damn sure the police commissioner hears about it. We play golf together.

Stabler:
[nods] Does he know about your handicap?

Roger:
My handicap?

Stabler:
The one that makes you slap your wife around.

[Roger doesn't say a word]

Stabler:
Well, good. I've got your attention. You raise to hand to her or your daughters again, I'll be payin' you a visit.

Roger:
Is that a threat?

Stabler:
Yeah.

Emmett:
[her closing summation] Andrea Brown's actions had one purpose. One. To spare the child she loved years of horrible agony leading to an inevitable death. When you go into the jury room, ladies and gentlemen, you must decide if this woman deserves to go to prison for at least 25 years. But before you answer that question, ask one of yourselves: "If this were my child, what would I do?" And if that question gives you pause, I pray you decide that Andrea Brown has already suffered enough.

Alex:
[her summation] Andrea Brown ground up a lethal dose of antidepressants and fed it to her baby. The defense doesn't dispute these facts, but they argue Mrs. Brown acted out of the noblest of motives. Let's examine these motives. Andrea Brown had an extramarital affair and got pregnant. When she found out the baby wasn't her husband's, did she tell him? No. Did she tell Steve Kellerman that he was the father? No. Did she tell Dr. Platner, when pressuring him for a prescription, an act she knew could land him in prison? No. From the start, Andrea Brown's primary concern was preserving her marriage, her image, and her lifestyle by hiding at all costs her affair. She knew that the longer Sarah was alive, the greater the chances someone would find out that Daniel Brown was not the father. So she killed her daughter, a helpless child who had not yet begun to suffer the effects of Tay Sachs. All of this to conceal the fact that she'd slept with another man. The defense would have you believe this was an act of mercy. It wasn't. This is a clear-cut case of murder.

Stabler:
Billings is a sleazebag who turns women into little girls.

Alex:
He makes a mockery of the law. Jurisprudence has to evolve with the technology.

Mr. Moredock:
This is gonna be a great fight, Alex. I'm glad I taught you so well.

Alex:
You also taught me res ipsa loquitur: "The thing speaks for itself." If it looks like kiddie porn and smells like kiddie porn, it is kiddie porn.

Mr. Moredock:
Maybe it's you who should evolve with technology, Alex. There was no kid in the kiddie porn.

Fin:
[about Dr. Lang's practice] Sounds like the lunatic fringe of medicine.

Munch:
It makes you feel good. What's wrong with that?

Fin:
That's the same excuse people use to get high. The doc's nothing more than a dealer with a license.

Munch:
What he's doing is perfectly legal.

Fin:
Don't tell me you're thinking about taking his stuff.

Munch:
I've considered it. Why shouldn't I add some lean muscle to what you so lovingly call my bony ass?

Judge Petrovsky:
Dr. Lang, you are out of order!

Dr. Lang:
This entire trial is out of order! Don't you understand, I'm trying to save you! I'm trying to save the human race.

Judge Petrovsky:
Sit down, or I will have you removed.

Dr. Lang:
The cat's out of the bag, folks!

Judge Petrovsky:
Bailiffs, remove the defendant.

Dr. Lang:
[as he's escorted out] Science and the future wait for no one. If not me, someone will clone a human being. You wait and see!

Stabler:
You’re good. You got your own mother to alibi you, and, to tell you the truth, we believed her.

Benson:
She’s a bigger sociopath than you.

Mitch:
Everyone assumes she did something awful to me, but she didn’t.

Stabler:
You’re a liar.

Mitch:
She never abused me once.

Stabler:
You’re a liar.

Mitch:
Not physically, not psychologically...

Stabler:
You’re a liar! That woman did something terrible to you, boy.

Mitch:
I wish. Poor old thing. She got hate mail, death threats. People spit on her in the street. But she stuck it out there, just to see me. Now that’s love.

Benson:
No, that’s denial. You think that your mother can't be broken? You think you're in total control of her? You just watch me!

Mitch:
Bring it on, bitch!