Little Britain, Series Three (Finale)

[Marjorie weighs Pat on the scales]

Marjorie Dawes:
Oh, you've gone up two pounds. [sarcastically] Oh, dear. It's not easy, is it? Do you wanna somehow drag yourself back to your seat?

[Pat, miserably, walks back to her seat]

Marjorie:
You see, your problem is, Pat, you're a classic yo-yo dieter. You go up and down. [goes to her list of "Good foods" and "Bad foods" on the whiteboard] See, you got your good foods over here. You got your lettuce. Your Ryvita. Your dust. And over here, you got your bad foods. Your chocolate. Your crisps. Your cake. [puts on an over the top Jamaican accent] Oh man, she fat because she love the cake! And here's you, stuck in the middle, yo-yoing between the two.

[Marjorie draws Pat as a pig on the whiteboard]

Pat:
Marjorie, you've drawn me as a pig.

Marjorie:
Oh, sorry. [draws some hair on the pig]

Pat:
Do you know what? I don't need this anymore. I'm not losing weight. Everytime I come, your horrible to me. [gets up from her seat] I've had enough.

Marjorie:
What? Don't go.

Pat:
Well, apologize. Say sorry than.

Marjorie:
Say what?

Meera:
Say sorry.

Marjorie:
[to Meera] What?

Meera:
Say sorry.

Marjorie:
No I can't...Do it again!

Meera:
Say sorry.

Marjorie:
Do it again!

Meera:
Say sorry.

Marjorie:
Do it again!

Meera:
Say sorry.

Marjorie:
Do it again!

Paul:
Just say sorry to her!

Marjorie:
[to Meera] Oh, you want me to say sorry. Well, why didn't you say that?

Meera:
I did.

Marjorie:
Do it again!

Meera:
I did.

Marjorie:
Do it again!

Meera:
I did.

Marjorie:
Do it again!

Meera:
I did.

Marjorie:
Do it again!

Pat:
I'm waiting for an apology.

Marjorie:
[to Meera] I'll come back to you, my love.

Pat:
I don't see why you can't just say sorry.

Paul:
Yeah, come on.

Marjorie:
I can. I can say sorry.

Pat:
Well, go on than.

Marjorie:
I'm going to say it any minute now.

Paul:
Well, say it.

Marjorie:
I'm about to.

Pat:
Go on.

Marjorie:
[quietly] Si...

Pat:
I didn't hear that.

Marjorie:
Well, I said it so...

Paul:
[gets up from his seat about to leave along with everyone else] Yeah, well, we didn't hear it either. Come on, let's go.

Marjorie:
Oh no, I'm gonna say it! I'm gonna say it! I'm gonna say it! I'm gonna say it! [repeats it a few times. Marjorie walks over to Pat, takes her hands.]

Marjorie:
Pat, I am very...sorry... [shouts] THAT YOU'RE SO FAT!! Oh no, it just came out.

[Pat, Paul and the rest of the Fat Fighters group, disgusted by Marjorie's behaviour, leave]

Meera:
Don't worry, we are not coming back.

Marjorie:
Do it again!

[Meera waves her hand in disgust and leaves. Marjorie stands in silence looking around the now empty room]

Marjorie:
I need some neeew members.