Look Around You, Series Two

Pam:
Who could forget when the Post Office Tower spent 7 weeks at number one [due to a clerical error]?

Leonard Hatred:
(on Psilence spray) Well, my parents were both heavy snorers and I was a light sleeper...We lived at Heathrow at first. Later we moved. But it was to Gatwick (laughs nervously). Then I moved to the countryside but they built an abattoir next to my house. And my wife has this condition where she screams constantly. And her sister moved in and she has the same condition...

Peter:
Well, you've certainly given the ghost of Tchaikovsky something to think about.

Peter:
Thanks, Tchaikovsky, Thaikovsky.

Morgan:
(after an unusual face-lift) Wow! I love it!

Packard:
Yes, the tusk really sets it off!

Dr Franklin Fu:
Medibot!

Medibot:
MEDIBOT!

Pealy:
When you think of Pennsylvania, you probably think of pencils.

Peter:
Thanks, ants. Thants.

Continuity Announcer:
Look Around You follows in a minute, but first we have the line up for St. Frankenstein's day.

Continuity Announcer:
At 10:40 we have The Honey Programme, hosted by David Bumblebee.

Continuity Announcer:
Imagine That is at 11:00, and this week the businessmen are trying to imagine The Two Ronnies having sex with each other.

Peter:
Well, unfortunately, there never was an opening night. Only hours after that piece was filmed, Clive Pounds sadly died from complications following a wasp sting to his anus. And so, as a mark of respect, we will now observe a one-second silence.

Peter:
And now for your special birthday surprise. It's you, Pam Bachelor, at age 90!

Continuity Announcer:
Viewers may be pleased to know that Clive Pounds, who died during production of this program, has since come back to life.

Continuity Announcer:
Look Around You follows in a minute, but first we have the line up for Antmas Eve.

Peter:
Thanks, Eddie. Theddie.

Woman in dream:
Stop eating that jam you little shit!

Teacher in dream:
Idiot! Pidiot! Pridiot! Peroxamidiot! CABBAGE HALL IDIOT INVESTMENT FUND!!!!

Pam:
Well, this trophy is made entirely from solid gold, plated with tin.

Birds of Britain narrator:
(shows a picture of an arm) These are hand birds. That one is eating a worm.

Peter:
Thanks, Hanks. Thanks.

Peter:
When you hear the words "fast food", you automatically think of one thing: casserole.