Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Series 17

[Talking about Elton John's lookalike]

David Grant:
Is he about the same height as Elton John?

Mark Lamarr:
No, he's 87 times the size. They have to film him from miles away!

Mark Lamarr:
Wet Wet Wet eventually got so sick of "Love Is All Around" that they wrote to their record company, demanding the song be taken off the market. And since I found that fact out, I've spent six months trying to forge James Blunt's signature: "Dear James Blunt's record company. It's me, James Blunt. My records are rubbish. Please stop putting them out. Thanks. Bluntie. PS: You can stab me in the eye as well if you want."

[Talking about Sharon Osbourne having liposuction]

Mark:
She has it sucked out of her and pumped into her daughter and I think that's cruel.