Phineas and Ferb, Season 2

Candace:
Quick kid, run as fast as your little legs can carry you. Follow the train tracks north, you should hit Acreton by sundown. London, it's a college town. There, get a retail job and save up enough for a bus ticket to the Canadian border. Someone will get in touch with you when the coast is clear.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Look here, I wrote "big laundry" and I don't even remember what the reason was. I guess I assumed I'd remember, like it was some big genius idea... Big laundry, BIG LAUNDRY! It's crazy, I'm a crazy person.

Candace:
Ok be cool and confident, cool and confident.

Candace:
Hey Jeremy! So, what do you think?

Jeremy:
You look great!

Captain Weber:
Oh! So, you're the famous Candace Flynn? Bob Weber.

Candace:
Thanks for the lifeguard job, Mr. Weber.

Captain Weber:
MR. WEBER?! Pshaw! Mr. Weber is my father. Call me Captain Weber.

Candace:
Oh...ok.

Captain Weber:
[snaps fingers] OK! You two take care of my beach now.

Candace:
Ok...

Captain Weber:
[snaps fingers] OK! And watch out for Nosey. [laughs]

Candace & Jeremy:
Uh...haha..haha...ok!

Captain Weber:
[snaps fingers] OK! [echoes]

Milly:
Again, forget the idea of little people in there.

Lawrence:
Look, Linda, I can see this, let's see... 24 cross, 5 letters, where's blank?

[The lair shows Perry lands on a chair. The entrance Perry entered is not shown]

[The Doofenshmirtz jingle plays; scene flips to Doofenshmirtz, rubbing his forehead]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Ugh, that stupid carnival is so loud I can't hear my own evil jingle! [turns to a quartet in a sound recording booth] Alright boys, take it from the top. And louder.

Evil Jingle Singers:
[singing] Doofenshmirtz Evil Inco—

[the quartet gets cut short by a loud crash from the ceiling into a pile of instruments; Perry staggers in, playing a banjo.]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
A banjo-playing platypus? [Perry puts on his hat] Perry the banjo-playing platypus?!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
[to Perry] You see, back before I was evil, I was something a little less than evil: I was a bratwurst street vendor!

[Cuts to a short flashback of Doofenshmirtz's brautwurst stand, accompanied by an out of tune "Doofenshmirtz's Quality Bratwurst" jingle]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
What? They had those!

Phineas:
All right, who added the 'evil' flavour?

[Everyone turns to stare at Baljeet]

Baljeet:
It's curry. It's not inherently evil. [pause] Maybe a little spicy...

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
As I get older and older, I find it harder and harder to read my small little wristwatch. So I will launch Big Ben into space, and fly it all the way to the Tri-State area! ["flies" Big Ben over to his model of the Tri-State area] La, lala, lala, here I am, I just woke up and I want to know what time it is. [flings the model of himself across the room.] Woohoo! Yes! I'm a genius!

Agent Double O-O:
Wha - That's it?! That's your whole plan?!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Well, in a nutshell, yes! What do you think?

Agent Double O-O:
[glances at Perry, pauses] Am I on one of those hidden-camera shows? You realize you could just buy a bigger watch? Or maybe a wall clock?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Yes, but then I'd have to drive to the store and find a parking space, and I'd have to choose from like - dozens of styles ... It just seemed like so much work. This would be much less complicated.

Stacy:
Candace, looks to me like you're going about this the wrong way. Don't focus on the boys, focus on the invention. If you can find out where the stuff goes, maybe you can take your mom there, and she'll finally see the evidence.

Phineas:
What's that noise? Is that your stomach?

[Ferb nods]

Phineas:
Yeah, I'm hungry too. That trendy restaurant Mom and Dad took us to last night wasn't exactly satisfying.

[flashback to last night]

Phineas:
Dad, can I borrow your glasses? I can't see my entrée. You know, because it's so small?

Lawrence:
[holding his glasses] Yes, I think we got that.

Candace:
[Phone rings] S'up, Stace?

Stacy:
Candace, are you sitting down? I don't want you to have an aneurysm.

Candace:
Why would I have an aneurysm?

Stacy:
Someone just IM'd me that someone else heard someone else overhear that Jeremy is gonna call you and ask you out for a special evening tonight! [Both squeal] Candace, do you need medical attention?

Candace:
Oh, I need attention from the doctor of love!

Stacy:
Paging Dr. Jeremy.

Candace:
Doctor. I got a fever.

Stacy:
[Deep voice] Well, let me take care of that, little lady.

[Both laugh]

Candace:
Wow. A special evening. [Phone beeps] It's my call waiting.

[Both scream]

Linda:
Honey, just calling to remind you- [Phone beeps]

Candace:
Uh, it wasn't him.

Stacy:
Don't worry, he'll call.

Buford:
You're not on the list. You should have made a reservation yesterday.

Candace:
This restaurant didn't exist yesterday. I demand to be let in right now.

Buford:
Good evening, sir.

Doofenshmirtz:
Oh, I forgot to make a reservation. [Slips Buford some money]

Ferb:
That's not just any bird. That's a rare whale song singing Double Breasted Angle Hooper. [the bird begins pecking at Candace, wearing a platypus suit] The natural enemy of the platypus in the wild.

Phineas:
Isabella, NO!

[Giant roars and gets his fists out ready to punch Isabella]

Phineas:
NO!

[giant roars, then is depixelated]

Phineas:
Wow Isabella, how did you know?

Phineas:
I can't define "cute". I just know it when I pick it up on my cuteness meter.

Phineas:
It's pulling us in! Maybe it's the space authorities. Did we do something wrong?

Ferb:
Well, it occurs to me that perhaps all the modifications I've made aren't technically be "street legal."

Phineas:
Look, he's headed for that small cloud.

Ferb:
That's no cloud. That's a space station.

Phineas:
I've got a good feeling about this.

Isabella:
Hmm. I'm having trouble picking up his cute signal.

Phineas:
Don't be silly, Isabella! I took into account your cuteness, and adjusted the cute meter settings accordingly from the beginning. See, look what happens when I change it back to normal. [the cute meter overloads and shorts out] Oops. So much for finding Meap.

[Phineas watchs his cute tracker with a serious expression]

Phineas:
[confused] I keep getting some kind of cute interference

Phineas:
No, now it's cleared

Phineas:
Candace, we don't build stuff to compete, we do it for fun.

Ferb:
And for the ladies. [makes cat noise]

[Baljeet walks over to Buford, carrying a plate of peanut bags]

Buford:
That better not be insignificant bags of peanuts!

Baljeet:
No, no, of course not sir. [he leaves; ripping and clinking noises are heard, then reappears with a plate of peanuts shaped like a cooked chicken] Here, sir. Try our Deluxe Peanut Chicken! Our motto is "so peanutty, you will not even taste the chicken!"

Jingle Singers:
[singing] So peanutty, you won't even taste the chicken!

Buford:
I better not taste any chicken then, loser! [takes bite] Alright, you survive. For now.

Baljeet:
Oh, thank you sir!

[Candace is currently facing off with Buford in Phineas' game show.]

Buford:
Pocket lint!

Candace:
Laminate!

Buford:
Dolomite!

Candace:
Porpoise!

Buford:
Tralfazz!

Candace:
Tralfazz? ["TRALFAZZ?!" appears on her podium]

Buford:
That's right, Tralfazz! ["TRALFAZZ!" appears on his podium]

Candace:
Fine, tralfazz!

["FINE TRALFAZZ" appears on a puzzle board Ferb is presenting dressed as a girl]

Phineas:
Ooh, bonus!

Phineas:
We're gonna make the best dang car wash in the dang tristate area, dangit! ...I can't really pull that off, can I?

Ferb:
You're not very street.

Candace:
[singing] I'm gonna move to the prairie, and change my name to Larry!

Phineas:
Larry?!

Candace:
I ran out of rhymes, all right?

Candace:
[after mistaking a beaver for Perry] You have a pet beaver?

Woman:
You have a pet platypus.

Candace:
Touché.

[Ferb is showering a monkey]

Candace:
You're giving a monkey a shower?

Ferb:
Yep, had to be done.

Irving:
Hey, can I say the Perry thing?

Phineas:
What?

Irving:
You know, when you say, "Where's Perry?"

Phineas:
Okay...?

Irving:
Where's Perry? Wait! Wait! I can do better! Where's Perry? Where is Perry? Wherefore art thou Perry? I wonder where that Perry went. Ooh! Where is that platypus? Where the P-man at?

Phineas:
Do i know romance or what?

Phineas [oblivious to Isabella's irritation]:
I said, do I know romance -

[Doofenshmirtz, after Perry destroys his model set of Danville]

Doofenshmirtz:
[disappointed] You know what, Perry the Platypus? I think it's time for you to go! [Perry is shocked by this] That's right, get out! Your services are no longer required. The lighthouse is gone, and there's nothing you can do about it! So you might as well go back Major Monogram and tell him you lost this one!

[For a moment, Perry looks between the door and Doofenshmirtz, then heads over to the door, but looks between it and Doofenshmirtz, and finally, he leaves in shame as his "Perry!" jingle plays]

Phineas:
Is everything okay?

Baljeet:
If by okay, you mean that my life is a meaningless, black cauldron of swirling failure, then yes, everything is groovy.

Phineas:
That's not at all what I meant by 'okay!'

Linda:
Ferb, honey, aren't you a little old to be playing in the ball pit?

Ferb:
[vacuuming through the ball pit] Yes, yes I am.

Linda:
Okay, then.

Vanessa:
Your name is Ferb?

Ferb:
Well, yes. It's short for— [retrieves Pizzazium Infinionite rod with the vacuum] Oh, here it is.

Candace:
Do you know what this is?

Phineas:
Uh, is it not a rabbit?

Candace:
This is an actual living creature that uses carrots for food instead of science experiments.

Ferb:
So why is he wearing a tutu?

Candace:
He likes it! [to the rabbit] Don't worry, Mr. Cutie-Patootie, they're just jealous.

Phineas:
[confused explaining Candace that the carrots in the backyard disappear) I turn around a half of minute and-Poof!- now they're gone!

Candace:
Welcome to my world.

Phineas:
[even more confused] Wow. That must be really annoying!

Stacy:
[to Candace] Look, the way I see it, you prevented me from going to the spa, almost killed me with a jackhammer, dropped a wall on me, I've got gypsum in my hair, and basically wasted my whole day, but you did it for love, so it's ok!

Candace:
: Or Ferb. [Ferb winks]

Amanda:
[to Xavier and Fred, who are in bumper cars] What are you doing?

Xavier:
Nothing...

Amanda:
See, Mom? They never do anything!

Future Candace:
Give it a rest, Amanda.

Phineas:
Hey, where's Perry?

Ferb:
He's doing a special appearance on a musical clip show.

Phineas:
Hmm... Well, good for him!

Major Monogram:
Avert your ears, Agent P! Avert your ears!

[Perry takes out a rocket launcher with a missile shaped like a finger and launches it at the Eject button of Doofenshmirtz's "Music Video Mind Control-inator", stopping the music]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
No no no no! Get back in there! [pushes the CD tray back in, but it comes back out again] Wait, why is it— [cut to Perry, who is repeatedly hitting the eject button] Perry the Platypus!? I swear, out of all the aquatic mammals I hang with, you are truly the most uncooperative.

Baljeet:
Making changes to my schedu—

Phineas:
We're building a machine to make the biggest, most durable bubble ever!

Baljeet:
Ugh! Right, nobody ever asks Baljeet what he is doing.

Adyson:
Let me guess, the let's help Phineas and Ferb patch

Phineas:
[in Isabella's fantasy] Well, to be perfectly honest, I don't know what I'm doing! I don't know what I've been doing, always getting so wrapped in these projects I don't care about— it's you I care about, Isabella! [turns into a centaur that Isabella rides away on] Can we be together forever and ever?

Phineas:
[back in reality] Great! While they're getting that, we can finish our designs on the transponder! See ya girls back at the field!

Phineas:
Candace has a great sense of humor. Remember the time she got her face caught in the sink?

[Isabella looks at the the audience with a strange look on her face]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
You see, it occurred to me that what I should REALLY be doing is fighting fire with fire. And by "fire", I mean Perry the Platypus. And by "fire", I ALSO mean Perry the Platypus. [beat] It occurred to me while I was on fire.

Candace:
Who puts a picture frame on a window?

Baljeet:
[reading from a card] "Should a nerd save a bully's life, the bully is the nerd's slave for life." "Should" is misspelled.

Buford:
Duh! It was written by bullies.

Candace:
Detectives. Perfect. I know what you're gonna do today. Track down my little Mary McGuffin!

Phineas:
Piece of cake. [Ferb gives him a piece of chocolate cake] Ooh, chocolate! Thanks, Ferb. [to Candace] We'll have your little Mary McGuffin back here faster than you can say-hey, where's Perry?

Doofenshmirtz:
[giving the Mary McGuffin doll to Vanessa] Remember when you said that you wanted a Mary McGuffin doll, I be the world's greatest dad?

Vanessa:
[flatly] Yeah, when I was, like, seven.

Doofenshmirtz:
At last, I have found one. I've been spending years scourging the Internet and the garage sales trying to find the discontinued doll.

Vanessa:
[surprised by this revelation] Wow, I can't believe you remembered that I wanted this.

Doofenshmirtz:
Remembered? I never stopped looking.

Vanessa:
Really?

Doofenshmirtz:
You know, I may be an evil scientist, but it doesn't take a degree purchsed off the Internet with your ex-wife's moeny to show how important you are to me.

Vanessa:
[smiles] That's so sweet.

Doofenshmirtz:
Well, I better run. I bought a used -inator from the garage sale and it's missing a part.

Vanessa:
Really? What does it do?

Doofenshmirtz:
I don't know yet. It's missing a part. But whatever it is, I'm sure it will be pure evil.

Vanessa:
[looks at the doll and smiles again] Well, at least, you're not evil.

[The Mary McGuffin doll falls into the hands of a little girl named Sally]

Sally:
Look! She's perfect, And I just love her!

[both Candace and Vanessa are watching this]

Candace:
Oh, forget it! I guess I'm just too old for dolls anyway.

Vanessa:
Yeah, maybe I don't really have to have the one object that my dad spent years finding in order to show me his affection...

[they both look at each other]

Vanessa:
No, actually, I do. [snatches the doll from Sally] Gimme that, kid! [walks away with the doll, causing Sally to cry]

[later on, Doofenshmirtz gets a call from Vanessa about the event while he's cutting a carrot]

Doofenshmirtz:
So you just took it from the little girl, and left her there crying?! Wow, that is evil! Honey, I am so proud of you! It felt good, didn't it? Yeah, we can build on this.

Vanessa:
[singing] Not so bad a dad after all!

Phineas:
Ferb, you must have left your skateboard in England the last time we were there. I know! We could create a highly intricate and sophisticated machine that will transport any object from anywhere on the globe to our backyard!

Lawrence:
Why don't you just build a new skateboard?

[awkward silence]

Phineas:
Nah, I don't think so.

Ferb:
If it's all the same with you, Father, we're going to build the machine.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
I still think you should have added more green onions.

Norm:
Well next time, you can do all the cooking, and I'll stand around coming up with evil plans that ultimately fail. [awkward silence]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Wow, cutting deep man.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Perry the Platypus, I just...a golf course! A golf course has lots of traps! I should have said that one first.

Baljeet:
Now you can get your underwater equestrian patch!

Buford:
Not if you round up a whole bunch of 'em! [gathers the seahorses together and rides them] Yeehaw!

Carolers:
[singing to We Wish You a Merry Christmas] We won't go until we get some, we won't go until we get some, so bring some right here!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Wha-what...are-are you threatening me? How dare you! No one barges into my home and demands desserts! What sort of plan is that anyway, "Let's go to a stranger's house and in song form, refuse to leave unless he hands over a food dish no one's prepared since the 16th century?!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
'Tis the season to be naughty!

Phineas:
You know Ferb, just think of all of the wonderful things Santa does for us. And he never asks for anything in return. Wait, that's it! Ferb, are you thinking what I'm thinking? [Ferb hands him a blueprint] As usual, we're— OH! Ugh! Man, no! That's not at all what I was thinking! OH, dude! [Ferb flips around the blueprint to the right side] Oh, yeah. That's it.

Major Monogram:
Uh, is that all he [the robot Lawrence] can say?

Carl:
The kit originally came with one default phrase.

Robot Lawrence:
Lovely windmill, isn't it?

Carl:
Oh, those kooky Dutch!

Phineas:
What's that grinding sound?

Buford:
Tuff Gum! Like the song says:

Commercial singer:
Pound nerds like a drum, stop a train with your thumb, it's Tuff Gum!

Phineas:
Wow. Can I have some?

Buford:
Nah, I don't think so. It's for bullies only.

Phineas:
You got any regular gum?

[Ferb gives Phineas some regular gum and they chew]

Commercial singer:
Regular Gum!

Suzy:
So, Candace, are you ready to have some fun?

Candace:
Oh, no. I'm good. I hate fun.

Suzy:
[threateningly] I've got a little game we can play!

Candace:
[stuttering] G-g-g-game?

Suzy:
It's called making...

Candace:
[stuttering] M-m-making?

Suzy:
Paper...

Candace:
[stuttering] P-p-p-paper?

Suzy:
[unhurls a set of paper dolls] Dolls!

Candace:
PAPER DOLLS?!?! Wait, what?

Suzy:
It's for you!

Candace:
For me? Aren't you going to do something horrible to me?

Suzy:
Oh, no. Making you look bad is just one of the ways I control Jeremy. If he's not here, I'm off the clock.

Candace:
Wait, you can control your brother?

Suzy:
Can't you get your brothers to do anything you want?

Candace:
No way! I can't get them to do anything!

Suzy:
Un-ac-ceptable. To the backyard!

Suzy:
Hey, guys! What'cha doin'?

Isabella:
Um, hello?!

Candace:
I have so much to learn.

Suzy:
Well, now that you've watched the master at work, it's time for you to get yours.

Candace:
Me? Oh, no! I'm not ready! I-I...

Suzy:
What do you want?!

Candace:
To bust my brothers?

Suzy:
Is that a question, or a MISSION!?

Candace:
A mission.

Suzy:
So SAY IT!

Candace:
I wanna bust my brothers!

Suzy:
MEAN IT!!!

Candace:
I wanna bust my brothers!!

Suzy:
OWN IT.

Candace:
I WANNA BUST MY BROTHERS!!!!!!

Suzy:
Even better: Get them to bust themselves.

Candace:
Get my brothers to bust themselves? Get my brothers to bust themselves... Get my brothers to bust themselves!! GET MY BROTHERS TO BUST THEMSELVES!!! GET MY BROTHERS TO BUST THEMSELVES!!!

Suzy:
GO! GO!

Candace:
GET MY BROTHERS TO BUST THEMSELLLLLLLVES!!!!!!

Candace:
Hey, boys! What'cha doin'?

Isabella:
UGH!! Do I even need to be here?!

Carl:
But wait listen to this. It's a seemingly innocent voice recording of Phineas.

Phineas:
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.

Carl:
But if you play all those syllables backwards in a random order you get.

Phineas:
Let's help Doofernshmirtz destroy the Tri-State Area.

Buford:
Yeah, well blood's thicker than water! [stomps away]

Baljeet:
Mango chutney is thicker than blood!

Linda:
Candace, you have to promise me that you won't obsess about Phineas and Ferb.

Candace:
Yeah, sure Mom, I promise.

Linda:
Don't just promise this time. Raise your right hand. Do you, Candace Gertrude Flynn, solemnly swear not to obsess about your brothers, or you'll suffer the Pharaoh's Curse?

Candace:
The Pharaoh's Curse?

Linda:
Yes or No?

Candace:
Okay, yes.

Linda:
Okay, now we can have fun.

Buford:
I don't know if this is working out. Can you talk in an Indian accent?

Nerd:
Indian accent? No. I can do an English accent, instead! [In an English accent] Hello, gov'! Top of the mornin', toodle pip! Last night Mr. Governor, my toilet was broken in two.

Buford:
[sighs] Actually, that was pretty good.

Linda:
So, what looks good to you?

Candace:
Remember the Pharaoh's Curse! Wait, it doesn't count if she sees them herself! Hey, Mom? I bet you can't turn your head 180 degrees like an owl.

Linda:
[turns her head] Nope, just ninety.

Candace:
Hey, can you show me that twisty yoga move you do again?

Linda:
Maybe after lunch, dear.

Candace:
I'm curious what the back of your chair looks like, can you turn around and show me?

Linda:
Okay, Candace, what's up?

Candace:
MOM! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TURN AROUND!?!

Linda:
Okay, you want me to turn around?! [turns around just after the floats leave] I'm turning around! Can we just eat lunch now?!

Candace:
Fine...

[A stray beam from the Duplic-8-Inator hits the small balloons above the floats, cloning them eight times; the combined helium causes them to lift the floats off the ground and they fly away]

Isabella:
Well, that's weird that our floats are floating away.

Phineas:
Yeah, well, they are called "floats".

Guy in Pharaoh costume:
Excuse me, are you Candace Gertrude Flynn?

Candace:
Yes?

Guy in Pharaoh costume:
Curse you. [walks away]

Linda:
I tried to warn you, honey!

Candace:
Pfft, people and their silly trends. Hey mom, can I get a pink streak in my hair?

Linda:
Why would you do that?

Candace:
To express my individuality. Everyone's doing it!

Baljeet:
Aagh! You can build a roller coaster in a day, but it takes you 12 minutes to pump up a tire?!

Phineas:
Wow, she's good. I gotta have her do my wedding. Ferb, make a note.

Isabella:
I got it!

Linda:
Candace, where's the justice of the peace?

Candace:
AW, NUTS! Ugh, just give me a minute.

Linda-bot:
[whispering to a raw chicken] Go, go! You're free, little skin bird-

Candace:
MOM!

Linda-bot:
Ooh! Candace, you scared the bagabbers outta me.

Candace:
But it was all right here! Oh, why did I think anyone would believe me!? I WAS A FOOOOOOL!!! [sobs] A FOOOOOOL...!!!

Linda:
I want you to pick up some nice back-to-school clothes. [walks in and walks right back out with Phineas and Ferb] Wow. That was fast.

Phineas:
Well, we do have a signature look.

Linda:
Candace, aren't you a little old for kiddie rides?

Candace:
No, no I'm not! Check it out!

[She inserts her quarter; the kiddie ride operates normally to her surprise.]

Linda:
Well...I guess it does have rocking-back-and-forth and slowness?

Baljeet:
Ah, we are ready. [both he and Buford are dressed as Phineas]

Irving:
WHAT? No! No no no, you can't BOTH be Phineas!

Baljeet:
That is what I told him, but he would not listen!

Buford:
[takes off Phineas mask] But Phineas gets all the lines!

Buford:
[as he walls by a stammering Candace] You've inspired me. I'm growing out my bangs.

Baljeet:
[as he also walks by] Namaste, compadres.

Candace:
By mindlessly repeating a flawed busting strategy?

Ferb:
Give up? Give up? The day may come when we'll give up on fruitless searches after a mere eleven minutes, but that day is not today! The day may come when our favorite reptile may be lost from our memories and his enduring love of mushrooms forgotten, but that day is not today! Today we search! We will search for him in the streets, we will search for him in the trenches, we will search for him in the alleys and the mini-malls and the cul-de-sacs of this fair land. We will search for him in the multilevel car parks and municipal recreation facilities. And we few. We happy few. We small band of brothers— and girl from across the street. We shall not cease 'til he is found!

Candace:
I must repress my basic urges to bust.

Stacy:
Repressing basic urges to bust is pretty responsible, isn't it?

Candace:
Is it ever? Just look at my Mom!

Linda:
[in the kitchen, staring at a cake] Cake is a sometimes food, cake is a sometimes food, cake is a sometimes food!

Candace:
You just earned your Uh-Durr patch!

Phineas:
Ferb and I built the ultimate extreme skate track obstacle. course.

Phineas:
Well guys, we did it. A 100% historically accurate old-timey pioneer town.

Baljeet:
Yes. Complete with hitching posts -

Buford:
And snake bites -

Baljeet:
And deer ticks -

Buford:
And various sores I'll be nursing for months.

Phineas:
Yep, it's took a whole lot of toil, pain, sweat and hard work to build this town. We should be proud.

Ferb:
Let's never do that again.

Phineas:
Agreed. Come on, let's go inside the house for a snack.

Buford:
And indoor toilets.

Stacy:
Candace, I am tired of taking the back seat to the totally unlikely chance that you'll bust your brothers. I want a best friend I can count on, so you're gonna have to choose: It's me or busting.

Candace:
You're making me choose? You wouldn't dare!

Stacy:
Ya-huh.

Candace:
Ya-nothing! A real best friend would never do that to me.

Stacy:
A real best friend wouldn't make mе do that to her.

Candace:
Then I guess you're not my best friend!

Stacy:
Not anymore!

Candace:
Fine! [slams door]

Stacy:
Fine!

Candace:
Fine!

Stacy:
FINE!

Candace:
FINE! [Scene quickly changes to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Finally, the plumber!

Vanessa:
[arriving to her dad's place] Hey, Dad. I just got this cool lemonade from the stand down the street. It's really sour. You wanna- [slips on a piece of paper] Oh! [loses the lemonade and falls]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
[The lemonade spills on him, causing a lot of pain on his paper cuts] OW, THAT SMARTS, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!

'Vanessa:
[feeling uneasy] Uh.. Dad? You do know he's not here, right?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Yeah, but I'm sure it's his fault.

Lawrence:
Well, I am a little rusty on my Hawaiian, but here goes. Buenas dias, señor. Me llamo Lawrence. [Spanish for 'Good day, sir. My name is Lawrence.']

Hotel Manager:
Oh, no no. That's not necessary. We speak in English here. Hawaii is part of the United States.

Lawrence:
Is it really? How remarkable.

Candace:
I'm cursed. Phineas, Ferb, I need your help getting rid of this tiki charm.

Phineas:
Um, personally, I'd be a little more worried about that manta ray stuck to your head.

Candace:
What? ugh. You know, after the day I've been having, I didn't even notice.

Candace:
Mum mum!

Candace's Mom:
Ok I'm here, now what did you want to tell me?

Candace:
Backyard now!

Candace's Mom:
Excuse me?!

Candace:
Backyard now please?....

Candace:
Stacy I am freaking out here!

Stacy:
I'll be right over.

Candace:
Cool thanks! and could you bring some breakfast?

Candace:
Oh and Stacey pyramids? Really?

Stacy:
Oh right that's Belgian isn't it?

[The water balloon starts swinging from where it's attached on the top of the tower]

Vanessa:
Oh, this can't be good. [She gets hit by the water balloon and falls]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Vanessa! NO!

Ferb:
Vanessa!

[She shouts as she falls before she's caught by Phineas and Ferb's plane]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Oh, they caught her! They caught her!

[Vanessa pulls herself away from the glass and sees Ferb on the plane]

Vanessa:
Ferb?

Ferb:
Vanessa?

Phineas:
No matter where we go, Ferb knows everyone.

[Ferb lets her in]

Vanessa:
Thanks, guys.

Phineas:
It's a good thing we came along when we did. So where do we drop you?

Vanessa:
I don't know. Where are you guys going?

Phineas:
Well, we're off to Paris to refuel then back to Danville.

Vanessa:
Can I just come with you?

Phineas:
Sure.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Wait, wait, wait... You saved her and now you're running off with her like...? OH! I have very mixed feelings about you! [to Perry] uh Perry the Platypus, how did you get here? I-I need a ride. Could you guys help me out?

Major Monogram:
You're kidding, right?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
No! I have to save my daughter. This is a big deal! Oh please? Please please? Oh, please please-y weasy please please? Please?

Major Monogram:
Fine. But after we get her back, you're going to answer for what you've done here, mister.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Wait, what? You were coming here, anyway, and... [He accidentally steps on the button and water balloon is released from the rope holding it to the tower and flies up into the sky] Oh, and uh... As far as flinging that water balloon into orbit, hehheh... [puts his fingers on Major Monogram's mouth again] I did that.

Major Monogram:
Seriously. When was the last time you washed your hands?

Baljeet:
He is home!

Uncle Sabu:
Ah, Baljeet and friends, I was expecting you.

Baljeet:
Really?

Uncle Sabu:
No, that's just something we say up here to freak out the tourists.

Phineas:
Uh, Uncle Sabu, do you live up here?

Uncle Sabu:
Yes, it's quite a trek, isn't it? It used to be very inconvenient for me. But then I built my factory up here, and now it's inconvenient for everyone else!

[Back with the kids where a giant rubber band ball is attached to the bottom of the plane]

Phineas:
So, as soon as Candace and Vanessa get here, we can...

Candace:
[She and Vanessa are running from the giant snowball while Candace shouts] Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane!

Phineas:
Ferb, I think we may wanna start the plane.

[Ferb tries to start the plane but it won't start]

Candace:
Start the PLANE! Start the plane! Start the PLANE!

Phineas:
Sounds like you're flooding it...

Ferb:
I'm not flooding it!

Candace:
Start the plane!

[Vanessa gets caught by the snowball and gets flung towards the plane]

Phineas:
INCOMING!

[Ferb provides a safe landing for Vanessa when he clicks a button and causes a seat to rise up and catch her]

Candace:
Start the plane! Start the PLANE! [She trips over a small hill, causing the snowball to miss her] Huh?

[The snowball hits the plane and falls down a cliff]

Candace:
No, no, no! How am I ever going to explain this to Mom?!

Klimpaloon:
[passes by] NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG!

Candace:
That's NOT helping!

Klimpaloon:
[walks away scared] NANG... NANG... NANG... NANG...

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Major Monobrow and Perry the Platypus helped me find you.

Major Monogram:
Monobrow?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Oh, come on. You got that whole thing up here. It's one straight line, for crying out loud.

Major Monogram:
That's it, I'm getting my tweezers back from Carl.

[Perry and Monogram have handcuffed Doofenshmirtz]

Vanessa:
[holds out of what it looks like to be a pistol] Hold it right there! [aims it at Monogram] Step away from evil scientist!

Doofenshmirtz:
[surprised by this] Vanessa, I'm so proud of you! [Vanessa escorts him to Perry's hovercraft] You are evil.

Vanessa:
I'm not evil! Just get in the car before they find out this is only a hairdryer. [both Vanessa and her father board the hovercraft and fly away]

Doofenshmirtz:
This is a hairdryer?

Vanessa:
Yeah, I got in Tokyo.

Doofenshmirtz:
Cool. But they didn't know it was a hairdryer when you pointed at them, so that means you're a little evil.

Vanessa:
Okay, Dad. Maybe I'm a little evil.

Doofenshmirtz:
I KNEW IT! [burst into tears of joy, and Vanessa gives him a handkerchief] It's okay. I'm not gonna cry...

Vanessa:
[smiles sheepishly] Dad.....

Monogram:
[seeing the Doofenshmirtzes escape] Well, guess we could kiss that pair of handcuffs goodbye. [to Perry] Don't know about you, but I'm gonna take a review. [leaves off] See you back at the States!

[Perry is now left all alone, much to his anger]

[Throughout this, Isabella looks in anger]

Phineas:
Hey, Ferb. Where's Vanessa?

Ferb:
She went off with someone else.

Phineas:
That's too bad. I thought the two of you, Y'KNOW, a boy, a girl, alone in the city of love? I thought romance was a forgone conclusion!

[Isabella breaks her pencil in frustration]

Phineas:
Isabella, did you say something?

Isabella:
I need a new pencil.

[Phineas gives her one; Candace walks up to the group]

Phineas:
Oh, hey, Candace! So how'd it go? Did you see Jeremy?

Candace:
Well...I saw him. I just didn't talk to him.

Phineas:
Aw, that's too bad. I thought, Y'KNOW, the two of you, a boy, a girl, alone in the city of-

[Isabella's head explodes]

Phineas:
Isabella...!?

[Reveals it was just a daydream Isabella had]

Phineas:
Isabella, are you okay?

Isabella:
[after a pause] Peachy.

Isabella:
[sits down; Ferb approaches and gives her a rag] Thanks, Ferb. I just don't know what to do... we were in Paris! The most romantic city in the world, and... [starts to cry] He didn't even notice me! [blows her nose] I just feel like giving up, I mean, look at him!

Phineas:
Look! A sponge and a starfish! There's gotta be something we can make out of this! Ah! Oh no, That's ridiculous!

Isabella:
It's as if I don't exist! I would give anything if he would just sit down with me and enjoy this beautiful sunset.

[As Phineas approaches, Ferb walks away]

Phineas:
We- we could- we- we could- we could dig a tunnel under the ocean or we could- we could- we can- we can... we- we can't. I can't- I can't believe there's nothing we can do to get off this... [Sighs and sits next to Isabella] I guess at least we can sit and watch this beautiful sunset.

[Isabella realizes something; after a beat...]

Isabella:
...No.

Phineas:
What?

Isabella:
No! [stands up] You are NOT going to enjoy this beautiful sunset!

Phineas:
I'm not?

Isabella:
You built a rollercoaster through downtown! You made giant tree-house robots! You traveled through time for crying out loud! Twice!

Phineas:
But, Isabella, there's nothing here for me to work with!

Isabella:
Well, that's not the Phineas Flynn I fell in -- [uncomfortably changes the subject] to this situation with.

Candace:
Phineas, I'm not gonna get on this silly little tricycle.

Phineas:
Candace, we're in a hurry! Just get on the trike and we'll...

Candace:
There's no way I'm gonna-

Phineas:
[shouting] Get on the trike!

Phineas:
Hey, where's Perry?

[Perry is still in Paris, now ordering in a restaurant with a date]

Waiter:
Would you like your [chatters] with or without fromage?

[Perry looks at the waiter, confused by this]

Baljeet:
Oh, bite this prop tongue from episode eight!

Candace:
Whoa, trippy! I'm having one of those lucid dreams where I know I'm dreaming so I can control it-

Zebra:
[floating by with a campaign design of Candace] I voted for you, Kevin!

Doofenwitch:
Give me those boots!

Good Witch Isabella:
She doesn't have to give you anything. You have no real power in this part of Odd.

Doofenwitch:
Wrong! I have the power of positive thinking! True, it doesn't really help me in this instance, but you can't stay in Patchkinland forever!

Suzy:
[buried under Candace's house] Seriously could somebody get a jack or something?!

Doofenshmirtz:
Ah, Perry the Platypus! Welcome to my evil space station! [Echoes] Wait, did you hear that? That "cookie" part? I think my echo is broken. I really do. Anyhoo, have a seat.

Candace:
Well, let me tell you something, kid. [Signing magazine] It wasn't easy. But the Forest Fire Girls really needed me.

Isabella:
Fireside Girls.

Candace:
That's what I said.

Monogram:
Even his answering machine gives us no clue as to where he is.

Doofenshmirtz:
[Answering machine] Hello! You've reached Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. I'm not here right now... or am I? [Evil laughing] Oh, and if you're calling about the piano, it's already been sold.

[Candace, Isabella, and Melissa try to swing, but failed to reach the other side]

Candace:
Oh, This is just great! I thought you're gonna save us, I thought you were supposed to be the perfect Firefighter Girl.

Isabella:
Fireside Girl.

Candace:
That's what I said.

Buford:
Mm! I am to metaphor cheese as metaphor cheese is to transitive verb crackers!

Buford:
Hey! I never got my metaphor cheese! [Echoing: "Cheese! Cheese! Wombat! Cheese!"] Hey! I think my echo's broken.

[Candace, Phineas, Ferb and Perry are watching a TV commercial about Lindana]

Narrator:
This week, we ask "Where they go?" about Pop Stars from the 80's... First up, this perky pop-star stole a One Wonder Hit by declaring "I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun!"

Candace:
She looks familiar...

Narrator:
Lindana's real name is Linda Flynn-Fletcher and she's now living in the Tri-State area.

Candace:
What? Mom, mom, mom, mom!

Phineas:
I can’t believe she didn't know that. [Candace then runs to Linda]

Candace:
Mom, mom, mom, mom! You never told me you where a Pop Star!

Linda:
Oh yeah! Well, that was long before you were born. It was fun, but I was happy to give it up to raise a family.

Candace:
But you were Lindana and you wanna have fun!

Linda:
Well, now I'm Linda and I wanna stir broth.

Ferb:
Phineas, I know what we're gonna do today.

Phineas:
Yes. Yes you do.

Candace:
Okay, I learn some skill that... Phineas, you're in the drivers seat, why are you operating with a remote control?

Phineas:
Candace, We're too young to drive.

Buford and Isabella:
Duh!

Candace:
Mom, Mom, you gotta come outside! I just drove up in this craaaazy souped-up car that the boys inven --

Linda:
Wait, wait, wait. You were driving...without adult supervision?!

Candace:
Well, no. I was operating a remote.

Linda:
Oh, so it was a toy car?

Candace:
No, no! No, it's a full-sized and it's --

Linda:
YOU WERE DRIVING A FULL-SIZED CAR!!?? Oh, that is it, young lady! You're grounded!!!

Candace:
But-but-but the boys -- !

Linda:
Candace, go to your room! We will talk about this later.

Candace:
Ugh!!!

Candace:
Yeah, sure, Jenny, but what have whales ever done for me?

Albert:
Well, hello. [Albert hits himself on the head with the thing]

Candace:
If that's the way you feel, I'll get someone else to bust my brothers.

Albert:
I'll help you.

Candace:
Are you talking to me?

Albert:
As a damsel in distress, I have to help you, milady, as part of my medieval knight's code.

Candace:
I'm outta here.

Albert:
But don't you wanna bust your brothers? [Brakes heard, Candace walks back]

Candace:
I'm listening.

Albert:
Well, have you considered applying the manly science of spy cameras to your problem?

Candace:
Spy Cameras? Wouldn't it be easier to just show my mom what Phineas and Ferb make?

Albert:
I don't know. Is that easier?

Candace:
[realizing] No! No it's not easy! It's never easy! I need help.

Albert:
And manly technological surveillance.

Candace:
I need nerd help, will you help me?

Albert:
You have my word. My nerd word.

Candace obsessed with busting:
Must Phineas and Ferb!

Candace obsessed with Jeremy:
Ah, Jeremy...

Candace obsessed with busting:
Mom, Phineas and Ferb made me!

Linda:
Um, I've got some stretch marks that would say otherwise.

Candace obsessed with busting:
No, I mean, they split me in half! Well, not like I'm cut in half, but they've made another me! Hear for yourself. It's for you.

Candace obsessed with Jeremy:
Hi Jeremy!

Candace obsessed with busting:
Not Jeremy, it's Mom!

Candace obsessed with Jeremy:
Oh, hi Mom! Here's Candace.

Candace obsessed with busting:
See?

Linda:
That was a very nice imitation of yourself, Candace. Love ya, bye. [hangs up]

Candace obsessed with busting:
No, wait! Hello?! Grrrrrr...

Doofenshmirtz:
Lucky, ?

Vanessa:
This is come up there come from.

Rodrigo:
Not again?

Phineas:
This is Uncle Nemo.

Rodrigo:
Nemo?

Candace obsessed with Jeremy:
Hi, Mom. Have you seen Jeremy?

Linda:
Doesn't he work over at that hot dog stand?

Candace obsessed with Jeremy:
Oh, yeah.... [leaves]

Candace obsessed with busting:
[runs up] Mom, Mom! Have you seen me?

Linda:
Well, I see you right now. Weren't you looking for Jeremy?

Candace obsessed with busting:
No! [leaves]

Glasses Seller:
Wow, twins. That's a handful.

Linda:
What?

[Candace obsessed with busting appears with Jeremy]

Jeremy:
Hey Candace.

Candace obsessed with busting:
Have you seen Candace?

Jeremy:
Well I can see you right now.

Candace obsessed with busting:
No, no, no, not me me the me that isn't me

Jeremy:
[Confused] Uh...

Candace obsessed with busting:
You know, bla-bla-bla-bla, Jeremy is so amazing, hearts, rainbows and unicorns bla, that me...

Jeremy:
[Confused] Gosh I guess I could say yes I have...

Candace obsessed with busting:
Where?

Jeremy:
[Scared] Nowhere, I mean not today...

Candace obsessed with busting:
Well if I come back and if I have a flower in my hair, you tell me! Find Candace, find mom, bust bust bust...

[Candace obsessed with busting leaves, and appears Candace obsessed with Jeremy]

Candace obsessed with Jeremy:
Hi Jeremy!

Jeremy:
Hey Candace, you have a flower on your hair.

Candace obsessed with Jeremy:
I know...

Jeremy:
Okey, you're kinda scaring me...

Candace obsessed with Jeremy:
Oh, I could just stare at you all day long...

Jeremy:
Listen, I gotta get back to work, but if you like I can swing by your house after I'm done.

Candace obsessed with Jeremy:
Really? I would love that.

Jeremy:
Okey then I see you after work..

Candace obsessed with Jeremy:
something to remember by... [Candace obsessed with Jeremy smiles, pointing to her cheek. Jeremy tries to kiss Candace, and she smiles more, but Candace obsessed with busting grab her away, leavin' Jeremy alone]

Jeremy:
Maybe later.

[Candace obsessed with busting appears in the changing room]

Candace obsessed with busting:
Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom! She's here! I have Candace here with me! Come out and look for yourself! [takes Linda out of the changing room] See? Two of us!

Linda:
Well, actually, right now I can see four of you.

[Candace obsessed with busting is now alone, with her reflections in the mirror]

Candace obsessed with busting:
That slippery vixen! Don't move. I'll be right back.

Linda:
[sighs] Yes, yes, you will.

Candace obsessed with busting:
Phineas, Ferb! Have you seen the other Candace?

Phineas:
We just saw her. She's driving away with Mom.

Candace obsessed with busting:
[lets out a furious screech and runs off]

Phineas:
If the Molecular Splitter doesn't just disappear when this is over, we should really consider destroying it.

Ferb:
Agreed.

Candace obsessed with busting:
Where is she?

Linda:
Where is who?

Candace obsessed with busting:
Candace! She was with you in the car!

Linda:
Yes, "she" was.

Candace obsessed with busting:
And...?!

[The molecular separator hits Monogram]

Singing Monogram:
I WANNA SIIIIING!!! [laughs]

Monogram:
I try so hard to keep you under wraps.

Baljeet:
Ferb, did you let me win to save my fragile, nerdy ego?

Ferb:
Oh, I'd never do that.

Vanessa:
Yes, Dad?

Doofenshmirtz:
PERRY THE PLATYPUS ALMOST ATE GUM OFF THE SIDEWALK!!!

Vanessa:
Is that what you called to tell me?

Doofenshmirtz:
No, no. I- I just called to remind you that I will be picking up you and your Visigoth friends up after the dance.

Vanessa:
Dad, it's goths, not Visigoths. And they're punks, not goths.

[The kids are controlling Perry, but they think it’s a game, and Buford starts to hit Perry with his own arm]

Buford:
Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

Phineas:
Ferb controls his right foot.

Baljeet:
And I move him back and forth.

Phineas:
What we need to do?

Buford:
It’s the same, lets hit that pharmacist!

[Doofenshmirtz has produced an impressive rap beat on the DJ box, [with the help from Perry] earning the praise from Vanessa's friends]

Johnny:
Your dad's kinda cool.

Vanessa:
You're my punk-rock boyfriend! You're not supposed to think my dad is cool! [walks up to the DJ box] It only matters that I think he's cool. [smiles and kisses her father on the cheek]

Doofenshmirtz:
She thinks I'm COOL! [the audience cheers, and Vanessa joins in, waving her hands to everyone]

[At the beginning of the episode]

Phineas:
You know, Ferb, one of the best times we ever had was when we built that roller coaster. We should do it again! But this time, as a musical! Whad'ya say? We'll do all the same things, except we'll break in a spontaneous singing and choreography with no discernible music source!

Ferb:
Hmm. What assurance would we have that everyone else would also break into song and do the same thing?

Phineas:
I don't know. I think they probably will.

Ferb:
Fair enough. I'm in.

Isabella:
Hi, Candace! Hi, Stacy! Hey, Jenny! How'd the number go?

Candace:
Pretty good, but I'm still angry.

Isabella:
Well, I guess I'm up. [enters the backyard; singing] I'm just the curious girl 'cross the way. Everyday I come over and here's what I say. Whatcha doin', whatcha doin'! What's the day's activity? Whatcha doin', whatcha doin', by and chance could by include me! Whatcha doin'.

Phineas:
Hey, Isabella.

Isabella:
What'cha dooooin'?

Phineas:
Building a rollercoaster.

Isabella:
Again? Cool! Hey, Ferb!

[Ferb waves]

Isabella:
Still a man of few words, I see.

Phineas:
Nah, you missed it. Earlier he had two lines!

Isabella:
Wow, chatty.

Monogram:
Ah, the world of a field agent, out in the thick of things. Not like me. [sings] My whole world is this screen, just four walls of a rectangle. But I can dare to dream -- [the lights switch off] CARL!

Carl:
[offscreen] Oh, sorry, sir. I thought you were done. You want me to turn 'em back on?

Monogram:
Nah, forget it. The moment's gone.

[During the end credits]

Carl:
[offscreen] Oh, c'mon, sir?

Monogram:
No, Carl. The moment is gone.

Carl:
[offscreen] Sir?

Monogram:
I got cut off twice already!

Carl:
[offscreen] But, sir, you're very good.

Monogram:
I am?

Carl:
[offscreen] Yes, sir. I've heard you practice.

Monogram:
Well, I have been practicing.

Carl:
[offscreen] Yes, sir. And just like the song says, carpe diem.

Monogram:
Well, you can't argue with Latin, can you?

Carl:
[offscreen] No, you can't, sir.

Monogram:
Alrighty then. [clears throat] My whole world is the screen... [the episode ends] OH COME ON!

Princess Baldegoon:
Maybe, we live.

Candace:
Okay, you can go now. [running in barefoot, record scratches] Wow. I've been giving all this power and i've chosen to use it run to gold coins barefoot. I'm a genius! Hahaha!

Linda:
Candace?

Candace:
Mom!

Linda:
Candace, is that you? I can barely hear you! What's all that noise? Candace, are you having a party?!

Candace:
No, no, no, no, Mom! It's not a party, It's an intimate get together!

Party members:
Candace party! Candace party!

Candace:
SHUT UP!

Linda:
Lawrence, there's something weird going on at home. I'm afraid we're gonna have to cancel our trip and head right back. (sighs)

Lawrence:
Oh, would you like to yank my chain?

Linda:
Yes, yes I would.

Candace:
The entire party has disappeared! Of course! The same divine intervention that takes things away from you guys...took the party away for me! I'm saved!

Phineas:
I wonder where the party went.

Ferb:
Someplace nice, I hope.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Well, obviously, something's amiss. Uhh, let's review: The Go-away inator which missed the condo, should've zapped whatever it hit to an undesirable location. Let me check my undesirable location wheel. "Stonehenge", "Burbank"... "My Pants"?! Why would I even write that there?! Oh, I see, I got it confused with my dry-cleaning wheel. Oh, okay, but...why do I have a dry-cleaning wheel? "I am a dry-cleaning wheel. Why do I exist?" Perry the Platypus, be a mensch and push the reverse button, would you?

Candace:
Mom and Dad are here. [as the party materializes behind her] Hello, mother, father. What are you doing back so soon? I hope everything's okay. [pause] There's a party behind me, isn't there?

Linda:
Candace, I trusted you! I can't believe you threw a party!

Candace:
I didn't throw a party!

Linda:
Well, then, whose party is it?

Party members:
Candace party! Candace party!

Linda:
Young lady, you are so busted! Tell your friends to go straight home and then go straight up to your room!

Party member #1:
Oh, man! Hey, everybody, the Candace party is over.

Party members:
Awwww!

[Candace sadly walks upstairs. Phineas and Ferb watch her]

Phineas:
Candace, if it makes you feel any better, you accidentally threw the most outrageous party of the summer!

Candace:
Thanks, guys. I'll see you in a week.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
Oh, Vanessa! Thank goodness you're here! A platypus has tied me up in my own pants!

Vanessa:
How did my life get to the point where that is not a strange sentence to me?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz:
"I'm your daughter. I will stop being sarcastic and untie you."

Buford:
No problem, dude. Candace: Did that guy just bribe you? Buford: He didn't bribe me. He just caught my attention in a monetary fashion. Now, back in line.