Profit, Season 1

Joanne:
There are ways to undelete files, Jack.

Jack:
Don't you need a search warrant for something like that?

Joanne:
[grinning] I forgot how old fashioned you are. It's refreshing.

Jack:
Three months too late, but I'm sorry.

Joanne:
For what? For having a wife that ran off on you, or for taking her back after you slept with me?

Jack:
[taken aback] Therapy's going pretty well I see.

Jack:
Say, what does your shrink say about this insomnia?

Joanne:
He says don't talk to your ex-lovers about your sleeping habits.

Jack:
Mmm, good shrink, what does he charge?

Joanne:
[dismayed] A lot.

[Profit holds up a needle found in Bobbi's jewelry box & looks questioningly at Bobbi]

Bobbi:
I'm a diabetic.

Profit:
Well then you shouldn't shoot heroin.

Joanne:
Let's start with whoever could have gotten into the access prohibited files.

Jack:
Well, there's Pete & Mary. Pete's too dumb to think up something like this and Mary's too good a person.

Joanne:
You think?

Jack:
[nodding] Married to her job, company nun.

Joanne:
I arrested a nun once. She killed a priest.

Jack:
Why?

Joanne:
He dumped her for a choirboy. Nobody's perfect, Jack.

Profit:
[voiceover] Trust...the foundation of any marriage. If broken it can hurt even the strongest ones, and kill the weak ones.

Profit:
[voiceover] When you want someone to love you, open your heart. When you want someone obsessed with you, close it.

Pete:
[to the waiter] If you're done looking at her tits, I'll take the check.

Profit:
You can't run from your past, and you can't run from yourself.

Joanne:
And you can't run from me you son of a bitch.

Profit:
[voiceover] Well ya can't expect everyone to like ya, and you can't expect everything to work out exactly the way you plan it...because life is full of surprises-you never really know what's around the next corner. But if you do the best you can, and if you give 100%, then you can go to sleep with a clear conscience. What you didn't win today, you can always win tomorrow, and remember, never lose sight of your goals. Because there are some people who are really worth that extra time and effort. And in the end, I believe, if you work hard enough...everyone comes around.

Profit:
[voiceover] Marriage has its high points, its low points, and sometimes, its breaking points.

Elizabeth:
So you're telling me your new junior VP is a psychopath.

Jack:
Yes.

Elizabeth:
Jack if you want to sleep with Joanne be my guest, but don't insult my intelligence.

Profit:
[voiceover] The truth is a very bitter pill to swallow. No wonder most of us need to sugar-coat it a little.

Profit:
[voiceover] When a man loves a woman, he'll go to great lengths to protect her. From harm, from other men of course, and sometimes from himself.

Profit:
[voiceover] Know when to let go of what was and be certain that your focus is always on the moment and that your plans only concern the future, not the past.

Profit:
[voiceover] Failure is a much better teacher than success.

Chaz:
The day he gets hit by a bus I believe in God again.

Sykes:
I'm just having a little trouble telling these corporate guys from the guys in the mob.

Lucinda:
The guys in the mob carry guns.

Profit:
[voiceover] The important thing to always remember in business is what may seem like a calamity can often become an opportunity - and opportunity is what life is all about.

Profit:
[voiceover] In my experience, the worst way to get a straight answer is to ask an honest question.

Profit:
[voiceover] Sometimes the most interesting results of an audit have nothing to do with numbers.

Polygraph Examiner:
Did Jim Profit kill his father?

Joanne:
Absolutely. He's the sickest son of a bitch on the face of the earth.

Profit:
Joanne, I'd like to think that someday despite all this we might be friends.

Joanne:
Sure, if you ever got a soul or I got a lobotomy.

Sykes:
I don't like coincidences Jim, especially when they end up wrapped in neat little packages. Always leaves me wondering: who did the wrapping?

Profit:
You look like a man whose conscience is bothering him.

Sykes:
I'm glad you know what a conscience is Jim, since you don't actually possess one.

Profit:
You know I've been meaning to get one, I've just been so tied up with work lately.

Profit:
Anyone who thinks controlling people is a science is dead wrong: It's an art.

Joanne:
Guard your morals Mr. Sykes, they tend to disappear around here pretty fast.

Profit:
[voiceover] When two people fall out of love and into hate, they become vulnerable to all manner of passions, fears...and if someone's watching carefully - manipulation.

Profit:
[voiceover] Pain: the Buddhist monks believe it exists only to be embraced, that we must fold it into our lives alongside pleasure, and remember that both are fleeting.

Profit:
In business, the easiest thing to forget is someone's feelings.

Joanne:
I can pretend like I want to be friends and flirt with you and do that girl crap, but all I wanted was to get you alone and do one thing: find out what you think of Jim Profit.

Sykes:
Oh, uh, that's...complicated.

Gail:
I thought revenge would feel good. I'm sure he deserves whatever he gets but it doesn't feel right.

Profit:
Of course it doesn't Gail, revenge is pointless, it's a tool for the weak. You're not weak...not anymore.

Profit:
[voiceover] The key to real success is to take all your fears and put them in a box, and lock them away. Of course not every evil can be tied up in a neat little package, but that's the challenge. To face our own personal darkness and to put our demons where they can't hurt us anymore, and to do what we can to make the world a better place.

Profit:
[voiceover] Security: it doesn't exist in nature. No animal is so arrogant as to ever feel completely safe, only humans believe they can find assured well-being through design & technology...some even believe it with a vengeance.

Chaz:
Nothing like a monk with a grudge.

Profit:
We're all standing in a gasoline lake...everybody needs a match.

Profit:
[voiceover] We all seek that other, a soul-mate, a shadow-self with whom we can merge seamlessly, but in that coming together, we risk losing ourselves. Everything becomes a blur, and we grow afraid, unsure...even distrustful. The danger of course, is we never know who that other really is, what they want, or the lengths they'll go to to get it. In the end, it's probably best to go your own way...even though there will be times you'll long for something else.

Profit:
[voiceover] Sometimes evil can be forgiven, other times it must be destroyed. When an irrevocable line has been crossed, you only have one choice.

Profit:
You have to forgive him.

Chaz:
Forgive him? I want to cut his heart out and use it for pâté!

Chaz:
That tree-hugging, organic, fruit-sucking son of a bitch!

Profit:
[to Bobbi] This is America, where even a drug-guzzling gutter slut like you can be the sole emotional support of a man like Charles Gracen.

Nora:
Do you think I'm evil?

Profit:
None of us are saints.

Profit:
[voiceover] When the smoke clears and you get right down to it, only three things really matter: your faith, your fortitude, and your family. Good night.