Rubbadubbers, Series 1 (2002)

[Tubb and Finbar argue]

Tubb:
Let me tell you, that I was not scared. Startled maybe, but not scared. You were scared!

Finbar:
So were you!

Tubb:
Wasn't!

Finbar:
You were! You thought that Reg, arr, arr, arr, arr, was a pirate!

Tubb:
Did not!

Finbar:
Did!

Tubb:
Oh, if only I were a pirate, I would show you that I am never scared!

Tubb:
Oh, I'm not a pirate anymore.

Amelia:
Make way for Amelia, the flying submarie.

Tubb:
Whoa, nice dive, Amelia.

Amelia:
Thanks, Tubb.

Tubb:
No, I'm not, Finbar. And you know why?

[Terence is sad that he's different, and he's not like everybody else in the bathroom]

Terence:
Oh, it's not fair. I'm completely different, unlike everyone else. They don't like playing my games! If only there was someone just like me. If only I were this much fun all the time.

[Reg is happy to be alone]

Reg:
If only you would leave me alone. Oh, yes, now I can finally complete my jigsaw puzzle, all by myself. If only we could all play together nicely.

[Sploshy is impressed by Winona's impressive tail trick. She wants to do it herself, only for her to suddenly realise that she doesn't have a tail]

Tubb:
Yay, Winona!

Sploshy:
Splish, Splash, Splosh, that was great! I loved it! Teach it to me so we can do it together!

Winona:
Eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek!

Sploshy:
So, what do I do first?

Winona:
Eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek!

Sploshy:
Go in a circle, like this? Then get up on my tail? Oh, I haven't got a tail!

Tubb:
Then you can't do Winona's trick!

Sploshy:
But I want to do Winona's trick! If only I had a tail! If only I didn't have a tail!

Sploshy:
( gasps ) Oh, I haven't got to tail! But, I want to do Winona's trick! Oh, if only I had a tail!

[Tubb is happy that he's a magician, because now he can make things disappear with his wand]

Tubb:
Hey, now that I'm a magician, I actually can make things disappear with my wand! Swimmin! If only I could make things disappear. If only I had shared my wand with you in the first place.

[Reg is delighted to be underwater]

Reg:
Oh, if only, I could go underwater! Wow, swimming really is Swimmin! But how? Oh, if only I was back on dry land.

Note:
During this scene, he says Tubb's catchphrase.

[Finbar is delighted to be the scariest shark alive]

Finbar:
If only everyone was really scared of me. I'm the mighty SCARY shark, arr, arr, arr! If only we could get this net up.

Tubb:
This is swimming!

slop:
you said it.

Finbar:
Just when, you thought it was safe to go into the water. Boo!

All:
It's the mighty scary shark!

Amelia:
Yes, I come here on vacation every year.

Finbar:
Boo!

Amelia:
( screaming ) It's the mighty scary shark!

[The Rubbadubbers are on the train]

Tubb:
Whoo, whoo! Benjie and Sis's train is 'Swimmin!' All aboard! All aboard!

Sploshy:
And, I heard them say, this train is carrying gold!

All:
Gold?

Tubb:
Oh, if only this were a real train, then I can show you that I can do everything! If only I had remembered to put all of the gold in the safe in the first place!

Tubb:
Hey! I'm a real train driver! Swimmin'!

[Sploshy is very hot, and wishes to be really cold]

Sploshy:
It's so hot here, but I don't want to be hot, I want to be breezing! If only I was somewhere really cold. If only we didn't have to feed the polar bears!

[Sploshy is delighted to be a bird]

Sploshy:
If only everyone wanted me to make noise! Oh, I'm a bird and, I've got feathers! If only they'd thought of that before!

[Terence is delighted to be somewhere without water]

Terence:
If only I was somewhere really dry, then I can prevent myself from getting wet! No water and I'm dry! If only it were like this all the time.

[The Rubbadubbers are participating in a race]

Finbar:
On your marks, get set, go! And here they go all the way along the bathroom! And whoever is the first to come back, wins a bubble bath ball!

Terence:
A bubble bath ball! Hey, wait for me!

Finbar:
Sploshy races ahead, with Tubb close behind!

Terence:
Ha-ha-ha! Better hurry up, Reg!

Finbar:
Amelia and Winona are neck in neck, coming to the first bend!

Terence:
[gasps] Oh, look, some new toothpaste!

[Reg steps on the toothpaste, covering up Terence with it, in the process]

Reg:
[laughs as Terence puts the toothpaste off of him] Better hurry up, Terence!

Finbar:
And the mighty race, arr, arr, arr, arr, arr, is OVER!

Terence:
Over! But I haven't finished yet! Oh, Who won?

Tubb:
I did! I'm the fastest! Wa-hoo!

Terence:
If only I was the fastest. If only I had realized that speed isn't as important as looking where you're going!

Winona:
Eek, eek.

Sploshy:
Winona’s right. Do you have to fly now?

Amelia:
Yes. Afraid so.

Terence:
Can't you wait until we've finished playing babies?

Amelia:
Um, no.

Tubb:
Well, you'll have to, because we all want you to wait.

Amelia:
But that’s not fair! Why do you get to choose? You’re not in charge! If only I was in charge, then I’d get to tell everyone what to do!