Rugrats, Season 8

[Night time, Dil is asleep and Tommy walks over to his crib]

Tommy:
Dilly? Are you awake? [a litle louder] Dil? Are you awake? [suddenly shouting] DIL! ARE YOU AWAKE?!

Dil:
What? [screams in fear but then notices his brother next to him] Tommy? Night, night.

Tommy:
I know it's late, Dilly, but I couldn't sleep. I miss Spike.

Cynthia:
The Diamond Thief left this very important note! It says...

Farm Animals Tape:
Moo!

Angelica:
What? The thief's a cow?

[The babies play golf]

Tommy:
Hole in five!

Kimi:
Two!

Lil:
A bazillion!

Chuckie:
Eleventy!

Phil:
Purple!

Lil:
You're opposed to say a number, Phillip!

Phil:
You guys said em' all already!

Randy Panda:
[repeated lines] I'm Randy Panda!

Cynthia:
I know who's in that truck! It's time I deciphered the license plate code! It says...

Randy Panda:
I'm Randy Panda! I'm Randy Panda!

Angelica:
What?! [In a rage, she throws Randy Panda and he breaks]

Cynthia:
And the Thief is...

[The channel suddenly changes]

Wayne Skyla:
Wayne Skyla with 'The Weather'!

[Angelica gasps and sees Tommy's foot on the remote]

Tommy:
Heh, heh, oops?

[Angelica then emits a scream so loud, it can heard across the galaxy]

Kimi:
Do you know what today is Chuckie?

Tommy:
There goes our brave baby.

Tommy:
It's fun playing blocks with you, Kimi.

Chas:
3,000 hours ago, you, me, Chuckie, and Kimi became a family. Happy anniversary, Kira.

Kira:
Okay, little ones, time to play outside. Except for you, Kimi. Chuckie put his toys away, now it's your turn.

[Mylan crying]

Kimi:
Chuckie doesn't different, like this. Why doesn't Chuckie wanna play with me?

Kimi:
He don't even know what their special day.

Kira:
Something's going on with Kimi and Chuckie. Maybe If I got them playing together.

[We cut to the next scene with popsicle sticks]

Kira:
I can't wait to see what you two build together. What will it be? A spaceship?

Angelica:
Ms. Chuckie's Mommy, Can I have a popsicle stick too with a popsicle still on it?

Kira:
Sure, Angelica.

Kimi:
So, Chuckie.

[Chuckie starts to sneeze, turning towards to Angelica, and sneezed on Angelica's face]

Angelica:
Aaah! Yuck! I asked for a popsicle! Not a SNOT-sicle! [She rubbing her nose]

Chuckie:
Sorry. I got to go potty.

Tommy:
Chuckie, I've been trying to tell you.

Kimi:
Wow! It shaped like a moose!

Chuckie:
It is? I mean... I knew that.

Kimi:
[She hugged Chuckie] Oh, Chuckie!

Chas:
Dandelion season already? Oh, I better give Chuckie his allergy medicine.

Kira:
I love my new gold locket.

Chas:
[He sneezed one last time and sighs] Gold lockets.

Didi:
First I get sun-bopped like a rag doll, and fluffed with an old feather duster, then I'm told to forget I'm a wife and mother... Because I'm the Goddess Dodo! Well my name is Didi! Didi Pickles! Not a Goddess... A woman... Who loves nothing more than being a wife and mother and WANTS HER MONEY BACK!

Angelica:
[about the doll] All the baby action with none of the slop!

Cindy:
This place is SOOO yesterday.

Phil:
See ya.

Angelica:
Wait! [she trips on a rock mud]

Tommy:
Everything's back to norman.

Angelica:
I may look 3, but inside I'm ALL FOUR!

Chuckie:
[giggles] Choo-choo, train! Hey, Mr. Train! Choo-choo! [laughs] Choo-choo, everybody!

Tommy:
You're good with trains, Chuckie!

Chuckie:
Choo-choo! A funny train, too. Choo-choo!

[In the kitchen, Minka and Boris are showing Stu and Didi a guide booklet about a scenic train ride. Stu is reading the paper, and looks over nervously at Chuckie playing with his toy train]

Minka:
An old-fashioned train, taking us to Little Biendeltown. It's like a dream come true. [hands the booklet to Didi]

Didi:
Biendeltown? "A recreation of the Old Country with all its' whimsical charms."

Boris:
Whimsical, schmimsical. It's got dust and a yak. For this I need a two-day train ride?!

Minka:
What do you know? [to Didi] It's our second honeymoon! Why don't you all come with us?

Boris:
Oy...

Didi:
On your honeymoon?

Minka:
What? I'm gonna talk to HIM for eighteen hours? [points to Boris eating his meal]

Didi:
I've never been on a scenic train trip before. Think of the sights we'll see on the way! Doesn't that sound fun, Stu?

[Stu looks up from his newspaper and grins nervously. Back in the playpen, Chuckie continues playing with his toy train]

Chuckie:
Choo-choo! Choo-choo, everybody!

Didi:
Oh, kids! Guess what? We're going to ride on a real train! We even get to sleep on it overnight. Isn't that exciting? [walks back into the kitchen]

Tommy:
Wow, a real live train!

Lil:
With the wheelies and the chugga-chugga and everything!

Kimi:
Yeah!

Chuckie:
I'm not going.

Tommy:
What do you mean, Chuckie? I thought you love trains.

Chuckie:
REAL trains don't have a string to pull with. They just go all by themselves! Nothing can stop them!

Tommy:
It's OK, Chuckie. A real train's just like your toy train. It just needs to be bigger-er so the grownups can play with them!

Chuckie:
[picks up his toy engine] I don't know, Tommy. It's kinda scary.

Tommy:
Well, we'll all be there and, um... I know! You can bring your old pal Wawa!

Chuckie:
Yeah! So I won't be a-scared all by myself.

[It cuts to Drew's house. In the kitchen, Charlotte is trying to type on her laptop computer as Angelica plays with her Cynthia doll]

Drew:
Charlotte, this is a family trip. Two relaxing days on a train. I want you to promise: NO business. [closes the screen on Charlotte's laptop]

Charlotte:
[opens her laptop] Well, I don't see why a person ca...

Drew:
[clears throat] Charlotte!

Charlotte:
[annoyed] All right, fine!

Angelica:
[to her Cynthia doll] You hear that, Cynthia? We're going on a train trip! Time to break out all those extra EXTRA special accessories. [leaves the kitchen with Cynthia]

[Some time later, it cuts to the city train station. A singing bird flies past. But then]

Drew:
[offscreen] CHARLOTTE!

Conductor:
All aboard!

[Everyone starts to board the train. Didi and Kira walk up to the babies]

Didi:
Come on, kids. We're going on the train! [they walk on board]

[Angelica walks up to the train with her Cynthia and a small dollhouse with a carrying handle]

Angelica:
[with a flourish] Well, Cynthia, say goodbye to your home! Maybe we'll come back someday; maybe not. Angelica Pickles follows the feet of a different plumber! [boards the train]

[Inside one of the Pullman compartments, Didi and Kira are looking at a map while Didi holds Dil]

Didi:
And after the train passes each landmark, we can mark it with a little check.

Kira:
You really have this worked out!

[Across from them, Didi and Kira are looking out the window with their guide booklet while holding Dil]

Kira:
The first sight should be coming up any second: Vegetable Rock! [hands the booklet to Didi]

Didi:
"Thrill to the spectacle of a natural stone formation in the shape of an asparagus." [looks out the window with Kira] This is what it's all about.

[Kira nods. But then Dil spits up]

Dil:
Blah!

Didi:
Oh, dear.

[The train passes Vegetable Rock, but Didi and Kira miss it]

Kira:
I'll get some more napkins. [gets some]

Didi:
It's just baby stuff. It's not a real problem...

Kira:
There we go. [wipes Dil's mouth]

Betty:
Here's where it happened. Now cordon off the scene and sniff out the perp!

Conductor:
All I do is punch the tickets. I'll call ahead for the detectives; they'll meet us in the morning at our first stop.

Chas:
[with his newspaper] In the morning? But before the morning, there's... [dramatically] the night!

[The train departs the station, and we see the main adults inside the lounge car with the two detectives and Dwayne serving coffee]

Detective 1:
[with a notepad] I need you to report any suspicious activities you might have witnessed.

Lou:
[softly to the detective] Uh, between you and me, I never liked the looks of that guy. [gestures to Dwayne]

Dwayne:
Anyone want coffee?

Betty:
[holding a cup] All right, Dwaynie! Java me up!

[Dwayne pours coffee into Betty's cup]

Minka:
And I wanted so much for this to be our second honeymoon. [she looks at Boris sleeping and frowns, but when she turns her head Boris smiles]

Kira:
[looking at the route map] We should be near Cough Drop Pass.

Didi:
[reading from the guide booklet] Where years of natural erosion have formed the stone replica of soothing lozenge.

[Didi and Kira start to look out the window, but Detective 1 walks up to them]

Detective 1:
I have a couple of questions; standard procedure, if you'll come this way.

[Didi and Kira look at each other and then get up, just missing the Cough Drop Pass as the train passes by it. Drew and Stu are standing around looking bored]

Drew:
Yeah, OK, there's a thief. [gets an idea] Wanna sneak out and have some fun?

[Drew whispers in Stu's ear, and Stu grins and they high-five. The train continues chugging on as the engine's whistle blows, and in their compartment, the babies watch as Grandpa Lou enters]

Lou:
OK, sprouts. I'll be taking the next watch to keep you out of trouble.

Minka:
That was a nice visit! Now back on the train.

Stu:
[He's carrying a sleeping Dil, nervously] For another... eighteen... hours...

Chas:
[He takes a photo of Kira posing next to the station clock] That rubber band sure was big!

Angelica:
[She and Brett walk up to the train. As Angelica steps on] Come on, Brett. We gotta go.

Drew:
Oh, good. I mean... Sorry, Precious.

Kimi:
You did it, Chuckie!

Tommy:
[after spilling a lizard tank, in a nod to Indiana Jones] Lizards... why did it have to be lizards?

Angelica:
Now the only thing you babies gotta to know is that Cynthia is the greatest crime fighter of all time... and, oh yeah, Cynthia is called Angelica!

Tommy:
[age 6, at his birthday] This is chocolate vanilla cake and I wanted vanilla chocolate... and I'm sick of the Dummi Bears!

Chuckie:
This isn't Reptar, Tommy.

Kimi:
It's "Follow Me Reptar"!

Charlotte:
Get here Jonathan! I'm swamped! Working at home and watching the babies isn't easy for me either, but I've offered them over a weakness, and Angelica would love to help you with the babies.

Angelica:
Alright diaper heads, listen up. While I’m gone you can’t touch anything, look at anything or even think about touching or looking at anything especially my new Cynthia Dream Yacht.

Tommy:
Why not Angelica?

Angelica:
You still going to ask? Because you’re bunch of dumb babies!

Charlotte:
Angelica!

Angelica:
Oh, I love Lil very, very much!

Charlotte:
If I find you being mean to the babies again, your dream yacht is sailing right back to the toy store.

Jonathan:
One glass of low-fat no foam cappuccino.

Charlotte:
I said fat-free, foam cappuccino. Remember, be nice to the babies like you usually are.

Harold:
Hi, bestest friend, Angelica!

[Susie laughs]

Angelica:
Keep dreaming, snack boy!

Harold:
[screamed] DO YOU HEAR ME, WORLD?!?! ANGELICA'S BEST FRIEND!!!!