Sleepy Hollow, Season 2 (2014–15)

Ichabod Crane:
  A surprise party.  And why must your era celebrate terror with dessert?

Abbie Mills:
  We are talking about Benjamin Franklin?  The editor of the Declaration of Independence?

Ichabod Crane:
  Blowhard, braggart, blatherskite, and gasbag.  He had an insatiable need to prove he was the sharpest intellect in the room.

Abbie Mills:
  I could see how that would be hard for you.

Ichabod Crane:
  My wife is now a captive of the Horseman of Death and the Horseman of War…is my son.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
  These plants have no idea their sunlight isn't real, yet they bloom, nonetheless.  A testament to the fact that anything can be tricked into believing a lie.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
  War is hell…

Leena Reyes:
  We are going to bring some sanity back to this town.

Abbie Mills:
  It's nice to know that even a man from the eighteenth century won't ask for help with directions.

Frank Irving:
  I used to be just like you.  I thought I had it all figured out.  But then I came to Sleepy Hollow.  And now that I've seen what I've seen, I'm not gonna pretend to be blind again.  The end is near.

Ichabod Crane:
[after seeing two men holding hands] Is that considered acceptable now?

Abbie Mills:
Oh! Lots of attitudes have changed since your days. Not everyone's, but Supreme Court has upheld the Constitutional right of same-sex couples, and more and more states are even legalizing gay marriage.

Ichabod Crane:
I meant gentlemen wearing hats indoors. I know about homosexuals, thank you, I trained under Baron von Steuben. His affections for his own sex were well known. Also, I watched the finale of Glee.

Abraham Van Brunt/The Headless Horseman:
Why are you only telling me now of this current plan?

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
It's not my job to indulge your needs.

Abraham Van Brunt/The Headless Horseman:
Katrina was correct to ask why I am confined here. Yet you come and go freely, plotting our future from the comfort of your family home.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
If you have grievances with our leader's strategy, by all means, raise them with Moloch.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
Your son's a lawyer. You must be very proud.

Ichabod Crane:
To begin, let us agree that through neither your fault nor mine, I was not the most involved father.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
Oh, my. Is this to be an attempt to start over? Are you going to take me down to the fishing hole?

Ichabod Crane:
I'm afraid, sadly, you underestimate the good in people.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
"Afraid"? You haven't begun to know fear. Or sadness. I'm glad you survived that box I put you in, so that you, too, can witness first hand people's true nature. Well, if you ever need an attorney, look me up. I'm building quite a client list, but I can always make room for family.

Ichabod Crane:
Sheriff Reyes, I have tried to cooperate, but this country was founded by men who fought for nothing if not individual liberty, forged by the blood of men who refused to bow to a tyrant's will, and as I stand in this public house of law and order, built to defend that very liberty, I declare: I'm well within my rights to be here.

Abraham Van Brunt/The Headless Horseman:
Don't bother engaging the Horseman of War. Your son is beyond your reach.

Katrina Crane:
Is he?

Abraham Van Brunt/The Headless Horseman:
What are you playing at now?

Katrina Crane:
Don't you see? He's moved into Fredericks Manor, the house he was born in. He could choose any house, and yet he chooses to move back into the house where I gave him life. He wants a connection to me. He is connected to me. He always will be.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
I've never lied to you, Captain.

Frank Irving:
A lie of omission is still a lie. You are the biblical Horseman of War. You didn't think that was relevant?

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
The signs were all there. You chose to look the other way. People usually do when it suits.

Hessian:
Nicholas Hawley?

Nick Hawley:
Only my mother and people with warrants call me that.

Ichabod Crane:
Oh, look! She comes bearing a selection of delicacies from the Far East.

Abbie Mills:
Commonly known as Yummy Food Schezuan.

Abraham Van Brunt/The Headless Horseman:
[to Katrina] The coming apocalypse is a certainty. Your only chance of weathering the storm is by my side.

Katrina Crane:
I know what you desire.

Abraham Van Brunt/The Headless Horseman:
And you know that I want you to make that choice willingly. But I will not wait forever.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
I relish any chance to cause my parents pain.

Nick Hawley:
It was my first real, live monster.

Abbie Mills:
You deal in supernatural armaments, Hawley?

Nick Hawley:
Do people who sell Christmas trees all believe in Santa Claus?

Ichabod Crane:
To George Washington, Commander of the American Armies, who, like Joshua of old, commanded the sun and moon stand still, and both obeyed.

Abbie Mills:
Namaste. You guys definitely had better toasts.

Ichabod Crane:
Oh, that one was Franklin's. Much as I begrudge his posthumous fame, the man was an unrivaled reveler.

Frank Irving:
I'm not a monster like you.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
Those who fight monsters should see to it that in the process, they do not become one. When one gazes long enough into the abyss, the abyss gazes back, doesn't it, Captain?

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
[to Abbie and Jenny] Violence. Always violence or order with you two.

Ichabod Crane:
You shotten herring! You are a scurvy louse. You are a slop bucket. You are a puss sludge, no good, by-blow pair of buns!

Abbie Mills:
Are you gaming online?

Ichabod Crane:
I'm not entirely sure. One thing I know is that my allies and I had just obliterated the largest horde of rabid zombies I'd ever encountered, and then, suddenly, out of nowhere "ChiefWiggum49" and "Haloismybitch12" decided to frag me.

Frank Irving:
Even God thought the Devil was beautiful before he fell.

Abbie Mills:
[to Katrina] When Crane first fell on that battlefield all those years ago, and all of the voices of Heaven and Hell were shouting in your ear, "Let him die," you found another way to save him. We will find another way to save you.

Henry Parish:
"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child." King Lear.

Ichabod Crane:
Act one, scene four. Our mutual love of words is no coincidence.

Henry Parish:
Perhaps I should thank you for the twinkle in my eye.

Ichabod Crane:
You will not touch me. Because you fear you will witness the depth of my suffering. You are sick with Moloch's evil, but you can fight it. You can spare her, Jeremy. You have a choice.

Henry Parish:
Yes, I do. And I choose Moloch. I choose his leadership, and I choose his might. I choose his fire that will burn the world. No matter what you do, no matter where you hide her, your wife will die, and Moloch will be born!

Katrina Crane:
Marco has clearly chosen Courtney as his favorite. Their romance was meant to be.

Ichabod Crane:
Romance? This is not romance. This is shameless groundling kabuki. These people wouldn't know true love if the Bard himself wrote them a sonnet. And clearly Amber's his favorite.

Frank Irving:
  My soul belongs to the Horseman of War, but for now I am still in control of my actions.  Even chose my own color Jell-O at breakfast this morning.

Gina Lambert:
  Some of us aren't strong enough to bear the burden.  They need an angel of mercy to help them cross over, to free them from pain.

Ichabod Crane:
Abraham cajoled me into coming to America. Katrina influenced my turn, put me to sleep, sent me on my mission to become a Witness. How do I know myself when at every turn my life has been determined by others?

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
[describing the shofar] The trumpet that made the Israelites tremble at Mount Sinai. That brought down the walls of Jericho. That has signaled the starting of wars for æons. And now is to sound the moment that Moloch has grown to his full glory, to call his servants to his side.

Katrina Crane:
It's nice to see that you've taken up an instrument.

Abraham Van Brunt:
I am what you made me! I am the one who traveled to the New World to forge a new path. You forced your way onto it. I found a wife. You stole her from me! As if it were your destiny and not something you wrested from a man you dared to call friend!

Ichabod Crane:
Abraham, that is not what—

Abraham Van Brunt:
No! I was supposed to be the hero of this story! Not the villain!

Ichabod Crane:
Do not dare put this on me. You chose the mantle of Death! You chose Moloch! Two choices made in an instant that ensured Katrina would never love you.

Abraham Van Brunt:
Have you ever noticed that through it all, she always returns to me? You have. I can see it. Well, now she will be my bride. And you will have nothing!

Abbie Mills:
Life is but a series of choices. You chose to be a patriot and a hero. Someone who does not give up, or the world around him ends.

Ichabod Crane:
Thank you, Lieutenant. It is through your eyes that I see myself most clearly.

Frank Irving:
Abraham Van Brunt. I never thought we'd see each other again, but here we are face to face. So are you ready to tell us about Moloch?

Abraham Van Brunt/The Headless Horseman:
Have you not sacrificed enough, former Captain? Are you truly standing in front of me, prepared to sacrifice your life to take mine?

Frank Irving:
I am willing to make that sacrifice. But I don't need to. You can thank the other Horseman for that. He has already claimed my soul. The question is, are you prepared to sacrifice what's left of your life? Haven't you sacrificed enough?

Nick Hawley:
Look, I know you think it's the End, but do you know how many people have gotten burned claiming the End is nigh? Every person. Every person in history who's ever said that has been dead wrong, Mills. Doomsdayers are zero for 10,000 years.

Moloch:
It is not done yet. You must retrieve the Sword.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
Father, how?& They have destroyed my armor. I am vulnerable.

Moloch:
You will delay them.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
I don't understand. I am the Second Horseman! You would have me die?

Moloch:
There were Horsemen before you, there will be Horsemen after. Be grateful for the chance to sacrifice yourself for my glory. Today begins my reign.

Ichabod Crane:
My son, let me pass and I will dispatch Moloch to hell and you will be free to live a life of your making, not a pawn in his game, but as a loved one in a world of free will.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
You you would let me live while you go face Moloch and die?

Ichabod Crane:
That is what sacrifice is. Allow me to fulfill my duty as a Witness and end this madness. Henry, let us pass!

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
[holding back tears] You never gave up on me. You never will.

Henry Parish/Jeremy Crane:
You tell me of Abraham's sacrifice. The Akeda, the story of a cruel and merciless God who designed a cruel and merciless world. Who could worship a deity who commands a man to sacrifice his own son? Those days have come to an end. The true lesson of the story comes not from Abraham, but from Isaac. The chasm between father and son was never bridged. They never spoke again. And justly so! For any man willing to sacrifice his child should die. As should any god!

Ichabod Crane:
I'm 250 years removed from everything I ever knew. I shall need a job. A permanent abode.

Abbie Mills:
Mm, 401(k), a mortgage, health insurance, credit cards, Social Security, an accountant, a dentist, your own set of wheels.

Ichabod Crane:
Point made, Lieutenant.Point made. I may indeed have spent the past six weeks traipsing the woods with a loaded weapon because it is the only purpose I know. Without the threat of apocalypse, what is my place in the world?

Abbie Mills:
  Is something wrong?

Orion:
  Quite the opposite.  I was locked in purgatory for over 200 years.  Since I've been free…sunrise, the call of a bird…rare pleasures indeed.

Abbie Mills:
  Does heaven exist?  Why are we here?  Did creation really take seven days?

Orion:
  No.

Abbie Mills:
  "No" to creation taking a week, or "no," you won't answer?  [beat]  How about dinosaurs?  You ever seen a dinosaur?

Orion:
  Before my time.

Abbie Mills:
  When we waver in our duty, monsters get loose and people die!  We are not jailers, we are not reformers!  We are soldiers, and I think that we all understand what the stakes are here!

Abbie Mills:
  Judge mankind?  By what criteria?

Orion:
  By their capacity to visit evil on each other.

Abbie Mills:
  And you'll be the judge and carry out the sentence?

Orion:
  As the Angel of Death passed over Egypt and took the pharaoh's firstborn.  As the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were burned for their wickedness.  As the waters of the great flood washed the world clean of man's iniquity.  My blade will cleanse humanity of its ills.

Ichabod Crane:
I have deciphered every code from Caesar shift to Morse, yet the one that will always elude me is modern dress. How can one be both business and casual?

Thomas Jefferson:
  It seems we've both outlived our expectations, and Adams's.

Ichabod Crane:
  [to Thomas Jefferson]  Yours is the greatest mind I've ever known.

1781 Ichabod Crane:
  [in response to hearing 2015 Abbie Mills make mention of the Federal Bureau of Investigation]  Most of us oppose a national police force.