Smallville, Season 7

Bizarro:
Hey Clark! Do you ever wonder what would happen to all of these humans if you weren't here to play savior? I know you do; you'd just never admit it.

Clark:
You don't know anything about me.

Bizarro:
No, Clark. I know everything about you. I didn't just borrow your DNA; I have all your memories, all your thoughts, every last twisted one of them. When I'm living your life, I won't make those same mistakes.

Clark:
Lois said that one of Lex's guys may have done something to you when you were out. You wanna tell me what really happened?

Kara:
The House of El has a lot of family secrets that nobody ever discussed. As humans would say, we were... dysfunctional.

Clark:
Those doors would have opened if you had just waited!

Kara:
We don't have time to wait for ancient technology. Between the two of us, we can cover more ground. Of course, it would help if you could defy gravity. Explain to me again why you can't fly.

Clark:
I'm not sure.

Kara:
I guess the humans were right, Kal-El. Girls do mature faster than boys.

Clark:
It's all about control, which you don't have.

Kara:
Me? Get back to me when you can fly, Earth boy.

Clark:
Well, you're the one who almost lit up the whole fair.

Kara:
Has anyone ever told you're a little uptight? You definitely get that from your father.

Kara:
(wearing a bikini) Say hello to the next Miss Sweet Corn.

Clark:
Uh, listen, uh, when I talked about fitting in, I was... thinking of something with more clothes. Th-this is definitely not blending in.

Kara:
You mean "undercover."

Clark:
Yes, exactly, and this is... not covered. Um, look, can you go change, please?

Kara:
But, I-

Clark:
Now!

Kara:
Fine. (she superspeeds and changes quickly) You said "now".

Lana:
Well, I guess I don't have to ask which side of the family you're from.

Chloe:
(to Clark) You know, you're gonna have to hang a bell around your neck or something so I can at least hear when you're coming.

Jimmy:
I used to sit in the backyard and try to pick up Martian signals on my dad's ham radio.

Kara:
Umm, Martians use infrared, silly.

Rachel:
I've only seen love like that once in my life.

Lana:
What happened?

Rachel:
The director yelled "Cut."

Chloe:
Look, I know how this is gonna sound coming from me, but you and Kara are from different worlds. Just be careful, okay?

Jimmy:
Chloe, Kara is from Minnesota. It's not like she's from another planet.

Lois:
What? I can't believe you've never had famous franks before!

Grant Gabriel:
I can't believe anyone's had famous franks. That thing could survive a nuclear holocaust!

[Grant kisses Lois.]

Grant Gabriel:
I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Lois:
Wow. If news of that spread through the mail room I'd have my name on your door by tomorrow. That's sexual harassment.

[Lois kisses Grant.]

Lois:
But that wasn't.

Lana:
I would do anything for Clark.

Chloe:
Even kill. What a lucky guy!

Lara:
Jor-El? Is that you?

Clark:
I'm Kal-El.

Lara:
Kal-El... My son, my beautiful boy. You're a man now.

Grant Gabriel:
Ok everybody, time to stop gawking, start reporting! You're journalists, not stargazers, let's move!

Chloe:
Hey! Hey! Hey! I know the blue K is seriously cramping your style, but you don't have to grind your finger off!

Clark:
Chloe, I don't know what else to do. It's unbreakable.

Chloe:
Okay, look, considering what all the other flavors of kryptonite do, being normal may not be such a bad thing.

Chloe:
(after finding the bomb disgused as a present) Oh wow. I have the worst Secret Santa ever.

Grant:
Lois has a mysterious way of diving for a penny and coming up with the Holy Grail.

[Bizarro finds Brainiac.]

Bizarro:
Look at yourself, you can barely catch a rat.

Brainiac:
I am the brain interactive construct. No matter my form, my intellect remains formidable. Do not underestimate me.

Bizarro:
Are you telling me the truth?

Brainiac:
Lying to you would be like lying to a mollusk. There's no point.

Bizarro:
(laughs sarcastically) If this doesn't check out, I'll shove you back into the test tube myself.

Bizarro:
Jor-El! I'm searching for something, I think Kara might have brought it here.

Jor-El:
(The Fortress console lights up) Leave here at once, phantom!

Bizarro:
And what if I don't? What are you gonna do? You're just a voice Jor-El, an echo from the past, I mean what are you are gonna do.... lecture me to death?

Jor-El:
(The Fortress begins to shake) You are not welcome here!

Bizarro:
Don't worry Jor-El, I'll find what I'm looking for sooner or later.

(Bizarro flies away)

Green Arrow:
Finder's keepers. I like the look. Italian?

Black Canary:
Why? You're thinking of trading in your tights?

Clark:
His missions are dangerous! And the fact he's taking you with him -

Chloe:
No-no-no, it was just internet interception... that ended up having a vicious ninja lady attached to it who chased me onto the roof and then almost beheaded me and went rappelling over the side of the building. Which, I've got to admit, was really smokin' cool.

Lois:
(slapping Oliver across the face) That's for breaking my heart!

Oliver:
(wincing) Really? 'Cause it felt like it was for not calling when I got back in town.

Lois:
Oh, that one will come when you're least expecting it. Will you put a shirt on or something?

Oliver:
The whole jumping to conclusions thing before you get the full story? How's that working out for you?

Lois:
Huge time-saver.

[...]

Oliver:
I missed you... more than you can possibly know.

Lois:
If you think that glistening-muscle-answering the door in your bare chest routine was gonna work... you were dead on.

Chloe:
Maybe we should call her the "Yellow Raven."

Clark:
"Black Canary" has a better ring to it.

[Dinah is invited to join Green Arrow's Justice League.]

Dinah Lance:
I'm not really a team player.

Oliver:
Good. Then you'll fit right in.

Lana:
Everyone was so quick to turn me into Lady Macbeth when they found out that I was watching Lex. And yet, you are the second person to ask me for a favor today.

Oliver:
Lois?

Lois:
Oh, don't even think of looking at me now. So, in all those nights together, somewhere between brushing teeth and spooning in the sheets, you didn't think that it might be a good time to mention that you prowl the streets with green leather and a compound bow?

Oliver:
Well, I don't usually bring the compound bow.

Lois:
Oh, so now he's a funny hero. I can't believe you didn't tell me that you were Green Arrow!

Oliver:
Hard to imagine why when you're taking it so well.

Lois:
You think the lacerating ropes and platinum fembot... might have something to do with my lack of empathy? So, what? Little Ollie got bored with dodgeball in P.E... and decided to play William Tell? Whoa... wait a second. I kissed Green Arrow last year when you were standing there with me in the alley!

Oliver:
Yeah. I remember that with precise detail.

Lois:
I can't believe you! You, who were supposedly my boyfriend, arranged for me to be lip-locked with some wannabe hero!

Clark:
Speaking of heartbeats, you didn't have one for over 18 hours.

Chloe:
I was hoping we could skip the lecture and go straight to the "welcome back" dinner. I'm starving.

Clark:
It's 15 hours longer than the last time, Chloe. I've been sitting here, literally, trying to think about what to say at your funeral.

Chloe:
Well, let's both be glad that I'm alive, 'cause I know how much you hate giving speeches.

Lois:
What are we doing, Lex?

Lex:
No one asked you to be here, Lois.

Lois:
Trust me, I never planned on being your Sundance Kid, especially in the armpit of Motor City.

Finley:
Hey, bald man, look, is it really worth killing her to get to me?

Lois:
Rhetorical question, Lex!

Lex:
(to Pete) You know, we may have more in common than you think: we both have a friend who let us down and something tells me that you know what it's like to love a woman who's still infatuated with Clark Kent.

Clark:
[Talking about Pete]If he ingests anymore kryptonite... we both know what happens to people.

Chloe:
Present company on stand-by.

Chloe:
(to Jor-El, in the Fortress of Solitude) Out of all the planets across the universe you decided to send your only son to this one, to Earth! You trusted us to protect him! Now please, Jor-El, I need you to trust me. I love your son! He's in danger and he needs our help!

Patricia Swann:
My father often reminded me that despite the power of the sun, it's always night on half the planet. For all the good you do, there will always be darkness, people who would kill you or abuse your power for their own gain. Lionel Luthor is just one of many.

Clark:
Then why has he [Brainiac] turned his attention toward you?

Kara:
I don't know. But when we go up against him, it would be helpful if were on the same playing field. Or should I say sky?

Clark:
Not helping.

Kara:
I'm sorry, Yeah, I know. It… but it's just really easy. Just up, up and away.

Lois:
Okay. Better make sure that camera is loaded with ammo because I got tomorrow's headline. "Daughter of Nobel-Winning Astronomer Murdered."

Jimmy:
That Swann woman they fished out of the lake last night?

Lois:
Yeah.

Jimmy:
I thought that she drowned.

Lois:
More like sank. Kind of hard to swim after you've been shot.

Lionel:
No, I've repented.

Chloe:
That's right, you're an intensely spiritual man. You amassed all the power a human could until you found out about Clark. Befriending him is the closest thing you'll get to seeing God.

Chloe:
Long night. It's good to see the sun again.

Clark:
It's too bad Lionel's not here to see it.

Chloe:
Lex closed the funeral to any and all guests. In other word's Lex is the only one invited.

Clark:
Lionel deserves better.

Chloe:
At least we know how Lionel truly felt about you. I mean, he thought of you as his second son.

Clark:
Another person who treated me like a son and died because of it.

Chloe:
Clark-

Clark:
-Jor-El died getting me on that ship. My dad died of a heart attack from the powers he took on protecting me. And now Lionel's been murdered for protecting my secret.

Chloe:
They did die for you, Clark. But ultimately, they died for all of us. There was a reason those men were in your life. Each of them added something to the man that you are today.

Clark:
How could Lex have done it? How does a son... ...murder his own father?

Chloe:
Total absence of love. Some say that's the definition of evil. You have to get those keys away from Lex, Clark, before he kills anyone else.

Clark:
He's not gonna to have the chance. I won't let him.

Chloe:
You know, having a gang of superheroes is great in theory, but no one ever considers the shipping costs.

Chloe:
(to Clark) You do realize that your greatest superpower is your ability to win me over with just one look, no matter how ridiculous you sound, right?

Lois:
(rummaging through a closet) Olsen's roommate's about the right size -

Clark:
Lois, we don't have time for this.

Lois:
Then stop standing around. Strip!

Lois:
Kent, this is no time to be modest. Armageddon's minutes away.

Brainiac:
You can't stop me, Kal-El. There's no yellow sun to charge you here. You're not in Kansas anymore.

Clark:
Where were you taking it?

Jimmy:
Oh, I guess you didn't get the memo that says, "Why should I tell you?"

Jimmy:
Oh... that's a good answer.

Chloe:
(to Clark) Sorry I couldn't get here faster but, you know... I have to drive.

Clark:
That's the last thing I need. Someone going around killing people in my name.

Chloe:
That's probably how God felt about the Crusades.

Clark:
Chloe. How did you...

Chloe:
Oliver's jet - fringe benefit of being a hero hag.

Lex Luthor:
"I loved you like a brother, Clark, but I'm sorry it had to end this way."

Chloe:
(exposes Kara to kryptonite) Why isn't it working?

Brainiac-as-Kara:
Check the expiration date?

Lex:
(looking at the Fortress) I must admit, Clark. This is a big step up from the barn.

Brainiac:
(to Chloe after her powers foiled his attempt to infect her) What the hell are you?!

Jimmy:
I found out something about those mystery expeditions he's been sending to the North Pole.

Lois:
Either he's planning a hostile takeover of Santa's workshop, or he's doing something illegal. And since I'm sure Lex isn't into the Christmas spirit, what's the scoop.