Smallville, Season 9

Chloe:
Dr. Hamilton.

Dr. Hamilton:
If you would be so kind as to lower the 9mm Jericho 941. I prefer "Emil."

Clark:
(referring to Alia) She told me that I would cause the end of the world. It's like I have a ticking time bomb on me, Chloe, and I only have a year to figure out how to stop it.

Chloe:
Well, you can't believe everything an assassin tells you. I mean, what does she know, anyway, right?

Clark:
The future.

Chloe:
Right. The future

Chloe:
Lois stopped by and found Shelby here alone with a dish full of food. Now, don't worry, I covered for you. But you should know that you are now on her radar.

Clark:
Thanks. I'll be more careful next time.

Chloe:
Dressed like that? Clark, what if I was Lois? She would take one look at you and realize Clark Kent is the Blur.

Clark:
I told you, there is no Clark Kent.

Chloe:
No disrespect to your Kryptonian calling, but coming back to feed the dog is about as human as it gets.

Clark:
Oliver, is this your idea of fun now that you've hung up your bow?

Oliver:
Should have known it was you. Clark Kent, the king of buzzkill. You and your pet rock put on a hell of a barbecue, but I had my money on Doomsday, so...

Clark:
You can try and play it off as a joke. But I know that the loss of Jimmy affected us both.

Oliver:
Well, I guess God's got a sick sense of humor. Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be taking your name in vain.

Clark:
I'm trying to make up for what happened, not add myself to the casualty list.

Oliver:
Yeah, well, I can't get my thrills leaping tall buildings or outrunning speeding bullets. We mere mortals, we have to rely on a tweaked-out Ducati and the open road.

Emil:
I could try. It'll take me at least a half hour to cross town.

Clark:
Do you get motion sickness?

Emil:
Mm, not really. Why do you ask?

(Clark grabs Emil and super-speeds away, leaving Chloe alone)

Chloe:
Really?

Chloe:
So the question is: how do we know that this isn't just your super hearing on the fritz?

Clark:
As loud as Lois is, even she can't speak with her mouth closed.

Chloe:
Good point.

Clark:
What are you doing here? (hears Lois's thoughts)

Lois:
Standing in the shadow of six-and-a-half foot of handsome. No, Lois, he doesn't get off that easy. Kick his ass!

Oliver:
Nice to play. I just started asking myself who knew about Lex, about Toyman. The things I'd given up, what I tried to do. Then it all occurred to me. Dinah shattered the glass in the warehouse, Bart rescued me from the car, Victor faked the computers, and Watchtower kept an eye on the whole thing. Right?

Chloe:
You were living like you had a death wish, Oliver. You had to face your demons if you were ever going to make it out alive. And I had to push you over the ledge in order to pull you back.

Oliver:
Did you have to push with a 3-ton truck?

Chloe:
I didn't think a tricycle would be a strong enough point.

Oliver:
You saved my life, Chloe. Both the myth... and the man.

Lois:
So... what was that about?

Oliver:
Uh-oh. I've seen that look before, usually right before you sock me in the jaw.

Clark:
I heard you were back.

Oliver:
You do know, of course, you look absolute ridiculous in that, right? And I got a great tailor, hook you up with a little color, maybe.

Clark:
Nice to see you finally discovered something worth living for after all.

Oliver:
You've done a hell of a job keeping the world safe on your own, Clark. I'm here to help you now.

Clark:
Good. Something tells me...soon the world will need all the help we can get.

Lois:
Look, I appreciate you helping me audition, I'm still angry you didn't tell me how bad Oliver was doing, but you're here anyway, so please, don't make me wish you weren't.

Clark:
It's okay, Lois. You don't need to get all worked up like you usually do.

Lois:
Well, excuse me Mr. I'm-slow-and-steady-and-know-what's-best-for-everyone, this happens to be important to me. With newspapers on the endangered species list, news television is my one and only back-up plan.

Clark:
Don't you think you can be a little less dramatic with this whole thing?

Lois:
You could be a little more passionate with this whole thing. But not you, not mild-mannered Clark Kent. Do you even care if I get this job?

Clark:
Of course I care, I bought a new tie.

Lois:
Oh, well I bought a whole new outfit.

Clark:
Yeah, you look great.

Lois:
Don't do that.

Clark:
Do what?

Lois:
Don't you dare reassure me right now.

Clark:
Lois, I'm only doing this for you. How else am I going to get that second date?

Lois:
(Pauses) Well, you should have thought of that before you stood me up the first time.

Lois:
(talking to the waiter) You got anything stronger?

Waiter:
Of course.

Clark:
Last thing you need is a drink Lois.

Lois:
Thanks Clark. You sound like my mother on prom night. How do I look?

Clark:
If this were a prom, you'd be crowned queen. Your date's a lucky man.

Lois:
Do I detect a note of jealousy in the notoriously nice Clark Kent? Be careful my date doesn't hear you. He might just have to take you down.

Clark:
(chuckles) Like to see him try.

Lois:
You know what they say: all's fair in love and war.

Clark:
And what's it gonna be for us Lois? Love or war?

Lois:
Clark, it sounds like you're asking me out on another date?

Clark:
If I was, would you say yes?

Lois:
I'll tell you what I'd say... (sees Oliver walking in) Oliver!

(Clark walks in the Daily Planet bullpen, sees Lois reading something, and nervously walks up to her.)

Clark:
Lois?

Lois:
Did you hear? The brilliant brass over at KZXP have decided to go with someone else for their morning show.

Clark:
Lois?

Lois:
After everything that happened, after Ollie and I almost got killed, guess who they've decided to go with? (She shows him a promo picture of Catherine Grant as the new correspondent.)

Lois:
Apparently blondes test better with morning viewers.

Clark:
Lois!

Lois:
I'm sorry, I never should have tried out in the first place, or dragged you with me, and I just--

(Clark grabs her and passionately kisses her. At first, she is surprised, then she kisses him back)

Oliver:
You know, Clark, if you wanna bury me in the desert for going on that date with Lois... you could've at least taken me to Nevada.

Clark:
Oliver, let's not...

Oliver:
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna put up a fight. But maybe we could've hit the Strip before the main event, you know what I mean? Maybe a little Blue Man Group... maybe a little Carrot Top. You know, what I'm getting you next year for Christmas is a sense of humor.

Lois:
I thought, you know, the ride would give us a chance to get past the whole kiss-and-run of it all and get to know each other better.

Clark:
Better? You tell me the color of your underwear every day. What else is there to know?

Lois:
(Upon entering Watchtower) OK Chloe, you remember when we were ten and I kicked you out of my culbhouse for spilling soda and you said you'd just build a cooler one? You win.

Zod:
I'm General Zod. And all of this is mine to give if you give me the names of whoever snuck you into the restricted zone.

Lois:
My Dad's a general, too. And he still couldn't get me to spill how I got an M1 Abrams tank to take me to the prom. So I'm definitely not telling you anything.

Oliver:
Five dozen roses? Wow. That's subtle.

Clark:
"That's PDA #5, not that I'm keeping track."

Lois:
Clark, sorry I'm late. I was watching the monster truck jump finals, Grave Maker lost his drive train. He is never coming back.

Clark:
It's okay Lois he's just a truck.

Lois:
Aw Clark, come on that's like saying Tommy Lee's just a drummer. Sometimes I worry there is no poetry in you.

Clark:
You just have to look a little deeper.

Vordigan:
(Off screen) At last, the apprentice heeds his master's call. (Fires and arrow that knocks Oliver's bow out of his hands) You know why you're here?

Oliver:
(removes his sunglasses and hood) Vordigan, our pathes split a long time ago.

Vordigan:
You took your vows Oliver. Now its time to fulfill them.

Oliver:
You embracred me as your own son, but I can't follow in your footsteps.

Oliver:
(walking into Watchtower) Anyone home?

Chloe:
What's up?

Oliver:
Nothing, actually. I, uh, I thought I'd stop by and see if anyone's hungry.

John Jones:
I could use some dinner. Chloe?

Chloe:
Uh, sure. You're buying, Mr. Queen.

John Jones:
Don't look at me, I'm living off a policeman's salary.

Oliver:
Ah, fine. Dessert's on you.

John Jones:
On Mars, we never had dessert. But I have grown especially fond of cookies.

Oliver:
Where are the other SuperFriends?

Chloe:
Still waiting for them to ring me back. See, this is why I keep asking everyone to come up with some sort of standardized trouble alert. The team needs structure.

Oliver:
Is that what we're lacking? You're really on a kick lately. Personal phone conversations... bank records... Amazon wish list.

Chloe:
Big sister's watching.

Oliver:
Is that my e-mail? Chloe, I'll have you know that those messages between me and Canary were purely platonic.

Chloe:
Can we skip your virtual love life and actually focus on the job here?

Green Arrow:
I hate waiting.

Hawkman:
You like talking. Shut up.

Green Arrow:
Why did they pair us up together?

Hawkman:
I requested it, so I could keep you in line.

Green Arrow:
What, you're my chaperone?

Hawkman:
think of me as your parole officer... but with a mace.

Green Arrow:
(after Clark states that none of them are bad guys) You sure about that Clark? Winged Wonder here threw me through a window.

Hawkman:
I hope I didn't make you cry.

Green Arrow:
Drop the mace, Conan.

Hawkman:
I will, on your head.

Green Arrow:
(walking towards Hawkman) Bring it, Big Bird. Just remember you started it.

Hawkman:
I'll finish it.

Chloe:
Slow night?

Oliver:
Figured I'd squeeze in some target practice... and a single malt.

Chloe:
Did you bring enough for the rest of the class?

Oliver:
Help yourself, professor. You're running a little low on allegory tonight. Bumpy day?

Chloe:
Not the smoothest. Someone asked me when the last time I had a good time was, and I didn't have an answer.

Oliver:
I don't think anyone can fault you for being on the edge, Chloe. Hell, if anyone can relate it's me. I get it.

Chloe:
Yeah, you can.

Oliver:
You know... sometimes you got to take your fun where you can get it. And sometimes... it's right in front of your face. You just have to want to see it. Come on.

Chloe:
How do I know when to let go?

Oliver:
It's all about your heart. Just listen. Right there in between the beats. That's when you let go.

Clark:
I need to figure out a way to reverse this. I think I breathed in some sort of new meteor rock.

Emil:
(laughs) Dude, hasn't anyone ever told you not to inhale?

Oliver:
A lot of women have used me for my money, I never expected it from you.

Chloe:
I wasn't stealing from you Oliver, I was borrowing the cash. I'm buying insurance for the entire planet.

Chloe:
All the I.D.'s I gave Clark have computer tracking chips in them. I want to keep an eye on the visitors from another planet.

Oliver:
Welcome to "1984: The Sullivan Edition."

Maggie:
I have your room all ready, Mrs. Green, except you didn't say what size bed you'd prefer.

Chloe:
Make it a Queen.

Clark:
Quiet weekend at home, huh?

Chloe:
Trust me, we had no idea the two of you would be there.

Lois:
And we had no idea there was even a "you two," which I think is perfect. I think fate has brought us together.

Oliver:
Well, it's a... it's... it's a little less fate, actually.

Chloe:
(cuts in) More fame.

Oliver:
(mumbles) Like fame.

Chloe:
This inn is so far off the beaten bath that even the society pages couldn't find Star City's most eligible bachelor here.

Lois:
You mean ex-bachelor.

Lois:
Let's talk about Mr. Green, in the bedroom, with my cousin.

Oliver:
And there it is.

Green Arrow:
You could use some conflict resolution. (steps in front of Tess) Rule Number 1: You don't shoot your date. Rule Number 2: Think about your wardrobe choices.

Edward Lott:
You're one to talk.

Green Arrow:
Oh, don't get me wrong, I love black on black, it's just really hard to pull off.

Edward Lott:
It's easier than you think.

Green Arrow:
(shoots him with a taser arrow) Rule Number 3: You gotta know when to say goodnight.

Tess:
Black on black, that's hard for you to pull off.

Oliver:
Well, it's easier than you think. (pauses)

Tess:
(realizes something) Green Arrow.

Chloe:
I should have known that Clark took a walk down the ruby-red road. That explains his lack of "edit" button.

Tess:
I thought Clark was only affected by green meteor. What's the red do?

'Chloe:
Basically it turns him into the bad boy every girl dreams of... in her nightmares.

Lois:
Tess. How not surprised am I to see you here. By the way, this is the least-secret secret lab I've ever been in... twice.

Franklin Stern:
Let me guess. You two have a lovers' spat?

Lois:
Clark and I don't spat. There was no spatting

Clark:
I let myself in.

Oliver:
Terrific. You, uh, hop up to the helipad or just superspeed past security, Clark?

Clark:
I used the elevator.

Oliver:
How human of you.

Clark:
I wish you could come back and visit more often.

Martha:
I had to let go of this place for a while, Clark, but I never let go of you. I'll be back soon.

Clark:
Maybe next time you can ease up on the kryptonite

Clark:
(to Lois) Look, my whole life has been full of relationships that have ended too soon. And then when I went away last fall, I... Lois, I felt so lost. When I came back to the bullpen... you were there waiting for me. You jumped out of your seat, you threw your arms around me, and the way that your eyes sparkled when you smiled, I just... I knew. I just knew that you were the one that I've always needed. And I needed you to know that.