Spider-Man, Season 1

Spider-Man:
[about an out of control car] What's this? Another satisfied graduate of the "New York City Cab Driving Academy"?

Spider-Man:
What was that all about?

Repairman:
Red eyes... The red eyes after me.

Spider-Man:
A-ha. And did they belong to little pink elephants?

Repairman:
No, mister, it was real, it was real, I swear!

Spider-Man:
Yeah, alright, fine. Just don't let the cops blame this one on me, ok?

Repairman:
The red eyes.. The red eyes …

Spider-Man:
Sure, pal, whatever you say.

Peter:
Oh no. Not Debra Whitman. The little sister I never had, or wanted.

[when he shoots web but Lizard dodges]

Spider-Man:
Good reflexes for a future handbag.

Brock:
When I break this story, it will be Pulitzer time.

[Eddie Brock is webbed to a lamp post by Spider-Man]

Spider-Man:
Hang loose, Brock. That webbing will all melt in a couple of hours.

Brock:
You can't do this!

Spider-Man:
I already have. I won't let you ruin Connors' life.

Brock:
But, but...

[Spider-Man shoots web to Brock's mouth to shut him up]

Spider-Man:
What a slimy mess. Why can't I be one of those galaxy-hopping superheroes? Why do I end up in the sewers? You don't find the Fantastic Four in a sewer, or the Avengers. Never have I seen the Avengers in a sewer. Or the Defenders. Well, maybe the Hulk.

Repairman:
You'll come back for me, right?

Spider-Man:
Hey, I'm a hero, remember?

Spider-Man:
I need one chance of this or I'm lizard food. Uh-oh. Chow time!

[about Curt Conners being the lizard]

Brock:
Boss, if I'm wrong I'll…I'll…I'll eat today's issue of the Bugle.

[Curt Conners answers the door]

Connors:
J. Jonah Jameson, what brings you here this morning?

Jameson:
You want it cooked or raw?

Spider-Man:
Hold that pose. Alright, don't hold that pose. If you're gonna be temperamental, I'll fix it so you never work in this town again.

Smythe:
I get a bad feeling whenever somebody says I have to trust him.

Jameson:
Wait a minute, are you telling me Spider-Man is just some goofy kid? That's unbelievable.

Spider-Man:
How can anything be unbelievable to a guy who publishes a tabloid?

Brock:
Hey, hey! I got First Amendment rights!

Soldier:
We just amended them.

Spider-Man:
How 'bout that. I'm in too places at once.

Jameson:
This one's the real deal lady. After all this time I can practically smell him. Which means Eddie Brock just made my whole company look like jerks.

Spider-Man:
Not hard to do.

Jameson:
Why you web slinging clown, how... [gets cut off by Aunt May]

Spider-Man:
Yeah, somebody's gotta save the guy who hates Peter Parker. Guess who? Talk about dramatic irony!

Soldier:
But he's in there!

Spider-Man:
All smoke and mirrors! Read my book!

Soldier:
Two of 'em?!

Spider-Man:
Congratulations, you can count. And they say the school system's failing.

Spider-Man:
Hey, guys, chill. The Widow and I are trying to share some quality time. [webs them]Thanks, I appreciate your cooperation.

Spider-Man:
Uh-oh. Foul ball. [knocks away Spider Seeker] Do the Mets need me or what?

Brock:
But you don't understand.

Jameson:
You want understanding? See a shrink.

Spider-Man:
Blind dates are like the lottery. The odds are so stacked against you. You're lucky if you ever hit the jackpot.

Spider-Man:
A freezing beam. This is enough to give me arachnophobia.

[Jameson is about to unmask Spider-Man]

Jameson:
Now let's see who's under that mask.

Spider-Man:
Hey, hold it! When was the last time you washed your hands?

[Black Widow captures Jameson's hand before he do it.]

Jameson:
Hey! What's this, Smythe?!

Spider-Man:
It's obvious. It wants a mate. And you're the lucky guy.

[about a bomb strapped to his wrist]

Spider-Man:
No, no, no. Take it back. It clashes with the color of my costume.

[Spider-Man and Jameson look at each other]

Spider-Man:
Hey, don't look at me. Maybe you didn't deliver his paper this morning.

[to Alistair Smythe]

Jameson:
What are you? Nuts?

Spider-Man:
You have to ask?

[to J. Jonah Jameson]

Spider-Man:
Do you ever thought of becoming a family therapist?

Spider-Man:
You hate a lot of people, Smythe. Must be rough around the holidays.

Jameson:
If you let me go, I can fund your research! Set up a lab!

Spider-Man:
Forget it, J.J. He's not playing with a full deck. Oh! You should understand that!

[Jameson and Spider-Man both have a bomb strapped to their wrist]

Jameson:
Can't you pry this thing off?

Spider-Man:
You want a trial separation already. I understand, but I'm hurt.

Spider-Man:
Get up, Jameson. We don't have much time to track those slayers before they get to Thompson, Brock, and Osborn.

Jameson:
Look at this, you're severely bruising my wrist.

Spider-Man:
Coyotes caught in traps chew through their own legs. You could try that.

Jameson:
Okay, smart-mouth. What if I decide to sit here and not go anywhere.

Spider-Man:
Look bright eyes! Until I can figure out how to get this bomb off of us you're coming along for the ride. So fasten your safety belt.

Flash:
We had a great time tonight, Felicia.

Felicia:
Naturally, you are with me.

Brock:
You! You just won't stop until you ruin me, will ya?

Spider-Man:
Use your head for once Brock. I'm trying to save your life.

[planting the bomb on the Spider-Slayer]

Spider-Man:
I hate to borrow somebody else's line, but it's clobbering time!

[Spider-Man is quoting a famous Marvel Comics character, The Fantastic Four's "The Thing".]

Mary Jane:
Face it, tiger. You just hit the jackpot.

Peter:
So, uh, where is your mom?

Felicia:
Parker, she's out buying a new yacht.

Peter:
What happened, the old one get wet?

[to Doc. Ock]

Spider-Man:
Hands up! All of them!

Spider-Man:
Don't touch her!

Dr. Octopus:
Spider-Man! You're making a career of interference!

Spider-Man:
Some career! No salary, no vacation; don't talk about on-the-job health hazards!

Dr. Octopus:
Double jeopardy, Spider-Man. If you manage to turn off the dynamo, you'll face the full fury of Doctor Octopus. And if you don't, perhaps you'll live long enough to see your friends' molecules fry!

Spider-Man:
Well, that's what I love about life - choices!

Dr. Octopus:
How does it feel to know that you could change things, Spider-Man, but be helpless to do so?

Spider-Man:
Not as bad as I'd feel if I had a name like Doc Ock!

[At the Daily Bugle Spider-Man tells Anastasia and Robbie what happened last night at the abandoned warehouse]

Anastasia:
Who asked you to help?! If you just kepted out of it, i'd have my daughter back now!

Spider-Man:
I don't think he would've released her even-

Anastasia:
Oh, so now you're a mind-reader too? For all I know, you might be working with that lunatic!

Robbie:
I used to defend you against Jonah, told him the city is better off because of you. Maybe I was wrong.

Spider-Man:
[to himself] Coming from Robbie, that hurt. More than anything Octavius' tentacles could do to me.

Mysterio:
[appears in a swirl of smoke] Don't be afraid! I'm here to help! I am Mysterio, and I am putting Spider-Man on notice! There's no place you'll be able to hide, and nowhere you can run!

Jameson:
Far as I'm concerned, you're just another creep in a costume. What can you do?

Mysterio:
I was hoping you'd ask. [laughs and detaches his helmet from his body - with no face visible underneath - to everyone's amazement except Peter's]

Peter:
[snapping a photo] Pfft! Cheap parlor trick.

Mysterio:
I guarantee you I'll catch Spider-Man, but I want all you bigshot media people there to record it! And now that I've started things rolling... [disappears; a basketball appears and bounces into Jameson's hands] don't drop the ball. [ball turns into his helmet] Got it?

Mysterio:
I'm more than ready to take you on, but not here. It's got to be the same place where you ruined me.

Spider-Man:
You got a little too much gravel in that fish bowl

[the phone rings]

Peter:
What?

Mary Jane:
Peter? Just wanted to make sure you're still alive.

Peter:
Oh no, our date.I forgot!

Mary Jane:
You sure know how to make a girl feel important.

Peter:
Uh, if it isn't too late.

Mary Jane:
Sorry, in my league, it's one strike, and you're out.

Spider-Man:
You'd think I would remember a guy with a fish bowl for a head.

Quentin Beck:
[in a flashback] I'll get you. I swear!

Dt. Terry Lee:
This is something you have trouble remembering?!

Spider-Man:
Hey! I hear that kind of thing two, three times a week.

[Trapping Spider-Man in a web with robotic spiders]

Mysterio:
There's a certain irony here...

Spider-Man:
Mysterio, they don't have anything to do with this. Let them go! Well, Jameson you can keep.

Mysterio:
Enough! It's payback time.

Spider-Man:
"Payback"? For what?! You did it all to yourself!

Mysterio:
Yes, that's what my psychiatrist said. But you know what? His sessions never made me feel this good!

[to webbed-up thief]

Spider-Man:
It's not nice to rob jewelery stores in Mr. Spider-Man's neighborhood. Can you say "I'm going to jail"?

[to the thieves]

Spider-Man:
Well if it isn't the meeting of the diamond lovers of America!

Thief:
It's Spider-Man!

Spider-Man:
What? Spider-Man? Where? Where? Oh, I just get so flustered when I meet a celebrity! I just don't know what to say!

Thief:
Stay still, will ya?

Spider-Man:
Actually, no.

Thief:
Get him! It's three against one!

Spider-Man:
As far as I'm concerned, that means you're out numbered.

Spider-Man:
Is this a private party or can any wall-crawler join?

Spider-Man:
Who the heck are you?

Scorpion:
A real hero, you freak!

Spider-Man:
This is a joke, right?

[Scorpion strikes with his tail]

Spider-Man:
Wow, this is not a joke. If you wanna join the Fantastic Four, you're in the wrong place.

[on phone:
Peter's voice was muffled because of his mask and this worries May]

Aunt May:
You sound like you're catching a bug!

Spider-Man:
I certainly hope so. [talking about the Scorpion]

[kicking the Scorpion in the back]

Spider-Man:
Green ball in the center pocket!

Spider-Man:
The red button. I'll bet my web-shooter that's emergency shutdown. Trust me, it's always the red button.

Jameson:
How do you know about stuff like this?

Spider-Man:
Hey, who do I look like? The Tick?

[to J. Jonah Jameson]

Spider-Man:
Look, if we continue to meet like this tongues will begin to wag.

Scorpion:
I'm gonna crush you now!

Spider-Man:
Oh, yeah? Well, it just so happens, I like to start each day with a warm hug! Oh, who am I kidding? Everything's going black.

Scorpion:
You gotta be nuts, mister. Why would you risk your puny life to save his?

Jameson:
Because you're a greater evil. And heaven help me, he's the only one who can stop you.

Spiderman:
Huh? Did I hear right? J. Jonah Jameson is on my side?

Jameson:
I still won't rest until you've been unmasked and eliminated.

Spider-Man:
Fair enough, pickle-puss. And I won't rest until you shave that stupid mustache, so we're even! Oh, and fuzz-head? Thanks for saving my life.

[to Kraven]

Spider-Man:
Nice outfit. Aah, don't tell me! You're a Leo, right?

Kraven:
I will not hurt her!

Spider-Man:
So you're gonna hurt me instead!

[to Kraven, as he dangles him from the top of a building]

Spider-Man:
Thanks for showing me the view, but I'm afraid of heights.

[escapes by knocking Kraven backwards]

Spider-Man:
Is this guy a pro wrestler? That would explain the tights.

Dr. Crawford:
He'll be back. You can't stop him. Nothing can stop him.

Spider-Man:
Okay, okay calm down. Let's get out of here before mister right comes back for a second date.

Spider-Man:
The fear in her eyes has got even me spooked, but I don't think this Kraven guy can find her. With any luck the cops will nab him first, or maybe animal control.

[after seeing Mary Jane in her leopard skin print outfit]

Peter:
Wow, that outfit brings out the animal in me.

[to Kraven]

Spider-Man:
Yo, Jungle Jim, up here!

Kraven:
Where is my woman?

Spider-Man:
Well you're the hunter, can't you find her?

[listening to Robbie's answering machine message]

Jameson:
Robbie where the heck are you? The airline says your plane let out hours ago. What happened to you?

Spider-Man:
How does "I was kidnapped by a crazed big game hunter" grab ya J.J.

Spider-Man:
Robbie's the bait. Okay. I'll bite.

Spider-Man:
Penny for your thoughts.

Robbie:
Will you please just tell me what's going on here? How did I get involved?

Spider-Man:
I guess you have me to thank for that.

Spider-Man:
Correct me if I'm wrong but, isn't the hero suppose to get the girl. I saved the city from jungle boy and I'll be lucky if Felicia or Mary Jane even speak to me again.

Spider-Man:
Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Spider-Man:
Huh? Where did you come from?

Rhino:
Jersey.

Spider-Man:
You got a claim check for that bag?

[rams Spider-Man]

Rhino:
Check this!

Spider-Man:
That's the Spider-Man justice system - guilty until proven innocent.

Spider-Man:
Parker, how on Earth did you get in the middle of Manhattan, hanging upside down in a costume you've never seen before?

Felicia:
You seem so.. so different.

Peter:
You don't know how different. But, then again, maybe you'd like to find out.

Flash:
Hitting on my girl, Parker?

Felicia:
Your girl? What ever on earth gave you that idea, Flash?

Flash:
Well, I thought that.. Parker, Felicia and I need to talk, so why you don't crawl back under your rock.

Peter:
Not this time, bonehead.

Flash:
Now, Felicia.. What did you say?

Peter:
It had something to do with the contents of your skull.

Flash:
Well, this is a twist. Look who's suddenly developed a backbone.

Peter:
[grabs Flash by the collar] I've developed a lot more than a backbone!

Felicia:
Peter! Flash, don't you have a History class to get to? [leads Flash away] What's gotten into you, Parker?

Peter:
What? I'm just being myself.

Felicia:
No, you're acting different now, and it's scaring me. [walks off]

Peter:
What's she talking about? I've never felt better in my life! [flips off steps and walks away]

[to Rhino]

Spider-Man:
A little far from the Zoo, aren't you?

Rhino:
Well well well, look who it is! It's the itsy, bitsy spider, and decked out in his new threads. But they ain't gonna look new tomorrow. [charges Spider-Man, who flips out of the way while he smashes into a wall]. Let's get this over with, I've gotta polish my horn.

Spider-Man:
This'll end when you tell me where me the Prometheum X is!

Spider-Man:
[lifts Rhino over his head, and starts spinning him around] Look, Hornhead, I'm not going in circles with you all night! I want an answer, now! [tosses him]

Rhino:
[Spiderman grabs Rhino with one hand] What's goin' on? You were never this strong! This ain't possible!

Spider-Man:
I've just rewrote the rules. Now who are you working for?

Rhino:
You know what they would do to me if I told?

Spider-Man:
A little something like this? And I'm just getting warmed up. [spins around Rhino on his own horn in the ground] The ride ends when you tell me where the Promethium X is.

Rhino:
I can't, I can't!

Spider-Man:
Well, that's too bad, big boy. For you.

Rhino:
[coming to a halt, falling over with a chuck of dirt stuck to his horn) Alright, I give up. I'd rather to go to jail than be a snitch.

Spider-Man:
Who said anything about jail?

Rhino:
Huh? I don't get it?

Spider-Man:
You will. [while pulling steel door towards him with webbing] It's like this: I'm through with not getting what I want!

Rhino:
[scared] W-what-what're you doin'? I-I-I told ya... I give up!

Spider-Man:
[growling] That's funny. I give up too. [lifts steel door over head menacingly] I give up trying to be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!

Rhino:
[horrified] No, no. You can't..

Spider-Man:
Can't I?

Hunter 2:
Copy red leader,let's get to our million dollar target,

Spider-Man:
You boneheads can't catch me,not while this suit makes me stronger and faster than you! [Attaches himself to a wall] Blasted Jameson and his stupid reward, he's got the whole world after me for something I didn't even do, now I can hardly move without somebody wanting a piece of me. [Hunter launches a rope and get pulled off] Don't you yahoos get it? The black Spider-Man is unbeatable! [Hunter launched a trap net and Spidey dodges it] Nice try buddy! My turn! [launches a web and webs up a hunter]

Hunter 1:
Should I try a sonic blaster?

Hunter 2:
We tried everything else.

[Fires the Sonic Blast at Spider-Man as he recoils in agony]

Spider-Man:
The suit! What's happening? I'm getting weak! Everything's going dark! [the suit saves him and pulls him on a roof]

Hunter 2:
How he can do that?! What's goin' on?! Get him, up there!

Spider-Man:
I must have passed out. HEY! [A piece of the suit detaches and destroys the sonic weapon a hunter uses a flamethrower and the suit again pulls him at a safe spot] Heh [launches a piece of metal that breaks a fire hydrant] Your suits have battery packs that blow up if they get wet! Buh bye! [launches a web from his organic suit white patch] I think it's time I paid a visit to the source of all my problems.

Jameson:
Thanks to your photos, we got the web-slinger dead to rights.

Eddie Brock:
I told you I could do the job, J.J. [Spider-man arrives through the window]

Spider-Man:
Oh, You did a job alright, on me.

Eddie Brock:
Spider-Man!

Jameson:
Think you can hide in some cockamamie new costume?

Spider-Man:
Oh, I've got nothing to hide, pickle puss. Especially from a couple of second-rate hacks like you.

Eddie Brock:
Yeah, well pictures don't lie. [Spider-Man angrily grabs Brock's jacket]

Spider-Man:
But, YOU do!

Eddie Brock:
What're you talkin' about? I-I know what I saw.

Spider-Man:
You didn't see me take the Prometheum X. [Jameson backs away and press the silent security alarm under his desk]

Eddie Brock:
Who else could've taken it?

Spider-Man:
What about the clown in the rhino costume, punk?

Jameson:
A rhino? I think that new suit's cutting off the oxygen to your brain. [Spider-man turns around and grabs Jameson by his tie]

Spider-Man:
[snarling] If you don't call off that reward, I'm gonna- [group of security guards comes bursting in through the door]

Security:
Don't even think about it.

Spider-Man:
[amused] Who needs to think? [throws Jameson's desk at the security guards]

Security Guard 1:
Hey!

Security Guard 2:
Watch it!

Security Guard 3:
Look out! [Spider-Man leaves out the window]

Spider-Man:
[normal voice] I almost lost it again back there.

Jameson:
As bad as he was before, in that suit, he's even worse.

[to Brock]

Shocker:
So, very painful or sorta painful? it's up to you. Now [grabs Brock by the shirt collar] Where are the photos of the crash site!?

Spider-Man:
What's this? A fight? And nobody invited me!

Shocker:
You stay outta this!

Spider-Man:
Reasonable advice, but I haven't had much use for reason lately!

Shocker:
Gettin' rid of you is gonna be a blast!

[Shocker makes a wall crumble and debris falls over Spider-man, apparently killing him]

Shocker:
[Maniacally Laughing) Rest in pieces, wall-crawler!

Spider-Man:
How 'bout I follow you instead?!

Smythe:
Did you take care of Mr. Brock

Shocker:
No, he got away.

[Spider-man Knocks down an heavy door panel]

Spider-Man:
Well,if it's not my old friend, Alistair Smythe!

Smythe:
How did you get in here?

Spider-Man:
Since I got my new suit, I get invited to all the best parties! [dodges Shocker's blasts]

Spider-Man:
[Launches web to Smythe and binds him] Don't leave, party's just starting!

Smythe:
[the Promethius falls on the floor] The Promethium X!

Spider-Man:
I'll take care of that

Smythe:
Shocker! He has the Promethium X!

Spider-Man:
Well, I see you're busy, so I'll be on my way.

[Spiderman is in his apartment]

Spider-Man:
basic structure density,molecular weight,looks it's heat activated. Well, what do you know?

[Kingpin in his Tower, Smythe and Shocker are before him]

Kingpin:
What's the matter with you? What happened?

Smythe:
Spider-Man took the Promethius X!

Kingpin:
So,you have to take it back. even if you have to take the entire city hostage.

Smythe:
Excellent idea.

[Shocker kidnaps John Jameson]

Jameson:
Who are you?! What do you want?

Shocker:
We got important business you and I [shows hospital hand band]

Jameson:
What you have done to my son?

Shocker:
Listen, and listen well

Reporter:
That's just it, Astronaut John Jameson has been kidnapped from his, we are going now to the Colonel's Father, J.Jonah Jameson, with a stable in his house in Madden

Jameson:
Spider-man,whatever you are,if are within in sound of my voice,you must contact me,it's a matter of life and death

Peter Parker:
[annoyed] So after all of this, I'm supposed to come running to your beck and call? This's for John, old man. Not you. [turns off TV and changes to black suit]

[Jameson inserts the key in car and Spider-man arrives on the top of the car]

Spider-Man:
I'm getting real tired of cleaning up your messes, Jameson.

Eddie Brock:
i knew if i followed you something turned up

'Eddie Brock:
i'm betting you're plotting against me with Spider-man

J.Jonah Jameson:
John?

Smythe:
First hand over the Promethius

Spider-Man:
not before we see Colonel Jameson

J.Jonah Jameson:
Son!

Spider-Man:
Alright Smythe, you win. Here it is

John Jameson:
Dad,i knew i could count on you

J.Jonah Jameson:
Always,son,always

Spider-Man:
Jameson,untie the colonel and get him out of here as far as you can

Spider-Man:
I'll guard you both from the rear

Spider-Man:
That's it,Deal's done|

Shocker:
Not quite

Spider-Man:
a double-cross, big surprise!

Shocker:
If think that's a Surprise then you're ready for a REAL SHOCK!

Spider-Man:
And I'm gonna tear YOU limb from limb!

Shocker:
Ooh, I'm all shook up.

Eddie Brock:
Ooh Spider-man is in trouble, perfect.

Spider-Man:
Pathetic

Shocker:
you can't get over me!

Spider-Man:
come on, let's get this over with

Spider-Man:
i said COME ON!

Eddie Brock:
it's payback time, Web slinger.

Shocker:
i've still got business with you

Spider-Man:
Forget him, you're not done yet with ME! [rips the broken pillar up in the air]

Spider-Man:
Surprised, Shocker?! Let me tell it to you straight - I am INVINCIBLE! [throws the pillar to the hole where Shocker escapes]

Spider-Man:
GET BACK HERE, SHOCKER! [Shocker races up the stairs, retreating to the top of the church bell tower]SHOCKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEER! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! I'LL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!

Shocker:
HEY! What're ya-! [Spider-Man bear hugs Shocker]

Spider-Man:
What good are those blasters to you now?!

[Brock Arrives and knocks Spider-man down, but Spider-man raises and Grabs Brock]

Spider-Man:
[to Brock] You?! I'm gonna save you for dessert.

Brock:
*Help groans*

[to Shocker]

Spider-Man:
And YOU… you're the main course!

[after Spider-Man breaks his "Shockers")

Shocker:
You'll pay for this!]

Spider-Man:
The check's in the mail, baby!

Spider-Man:
I feel great. Boy, am I glad to be back in my old clothes. And that full moon is perfect for my date tonight with Mary Jane.

Spider-Man:
Huh? Down there. I don't believe it, it's the Rhino!

Rhino:
Finally found you. Ha-ha-ha. You've got a score to settle. You should've stayed in black, 'cuz I'm gonna dirty you up bad.

Spider-Man:
Uh, sorry. They tell me the blue really brings out my eyes. [defeats the Rhino]

Last time I kicked you high all over this town. Is your learning curve a flat line, or what?

Shocker:
His might be. Mine isn't! [blasts Spider-Man]

Spider-Man:
Rhino and Shocker. How'd they get together, computer dating?

[Shocker and Rhino defeat him and leave him under a pile of rubble]

Venom:
Back off! He belongs to us! [defeats both Rhino and Shocker before turning his attention to Spider-Man]

Spider-Man:
You don't understand, Brock! It doesn't just bond with you, it takes over! Makes you do what it wants! You've got to separate from it!

Venom:
Separate?! We're made for each other! Brock's rage and vengefulness made us a perfect breeding ground - far better than you, Parker!

Spider-Man:
Brock, you've got to get rid of it!

Venom:
Why? We're now part of a life force that has existed since the dawn of time. Imagine what you've turned down, Spider-Man. Think of all this knowledge. We've seen thousands of worlds, millions of civilizations, learned many secrets - always with but one goal above all else; to survive! And now, we're sharing those secrets with Eddie Brock. We're very happy together.

[Spider-Man shoots his web lines around Venom]

Venom:
Such low-grade webbing! Here, have some of mine!

Venom:
Now, don't worry. We're not gonna finish you yet, Spider-Man.

Spider-Man:
Listen to me, Brock! You've g-

Venom:
[covers his mouth] STOP CALLING US THAT! WE ARE VENOM NOW! We wanted you, but you spurned us! Now, we have big plans! You know nothing about us, but we know everything about you. You'll see us everywhere, even in your nightmares.

Eddie Brock:
Wonder what people would do if they knew who Spider-Man was?

[becomes Venom]

Venom:
Hey! Let's go ask Jameson about that!

Spider-Man:
Brock, the more you hate me, the more you give that thing control over you!

Venom:
Who said we hate you?! Honestly, we're your biggest fan!

[throws a blade at Spider-Man]

[Spider-Man shoots his web lines at Venom]

Venom:
Look, streamers! Now it is a party!

[attacking Spider-Man on a train]

Venom:
Ticket, please.

Venom:
Look, Parker! I'm booked for the wrong trip!

Spider-Man:
Next time, I'm flying!

Spider-Man:
Sorry, Charlie,

Hobgoblin:
Spider-Man!

Spider-Man:
..but you are a little late for Halloween.

Hobgoblin:
You're pathetic. How did you ever get your reputation?

Spider-Man:
Musta been of the tabloids.

Hobgoblin:
Enjoying the flight?

Spider-Man:
Some flight. No peanuts, no Stallone movie.. I'm outta here.

[in the elevator]

Spider-Man:
Can't this thing go any faster?

[the elevator rope breaks]

Spider-Man:
I had to ask.

Next time we'll take the stairs.

Spider-Man:
As soon as I get you out of here, Osborn, I'm gonna go back down this tunnel and find out where we just came from.

[the whole place explodes]

Spider-Man:
Maybe not!

[after the limo driver stops at the end of an alley]

Jameson:
Driver what are you doing? My tailor isn't anywhere near this place.

[handcuffs come up and restrain Peter and Jameson]

Limo Driver:
Just be calm Mr. Jameson. No harm will come to you.

[to Jameson]

Peter:
Maybe you forgot to pay your last tailor's bill.

[to himself as Jameson yells at the limo driver]

Peter:
I better hang tight and see what's going down, unlike mister calm next to me.

[to the Chameleon disguised as Glory Grant]

Spider-Man:
Gotcha! I don't usually pick up strange women.

[to the Chameleon disguised as Peter]

Mary Jane:
Peter, I'm understudying the lead in the Shakespeare fest tonight and I've saved you a seat. Will you come?

[the Chameleon kisses Mary Jane to avoid the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents]

Mary Jane:
I'll take that as a yes. Peter, why'd you do that?

The Chameleon:
I had to.

Mary Jane:
What made you think I'd let you?

The Chameleon:
I took a gamble that Peter Parker was the luckiest man on Earth.

[to Bruce, the smiling gargoyle as he watches the Chameleon begin to make his move]

Spider-Man:
Aha! Bruce, looks like the Chameleon has arrived. Keep smiling old buddy.

[to Chameleon, who is bareheaded]

Spider-Man:
Chameleon, stop! Wow, nice haircut.

[after the Chameleon throws a smoke grenade at him]

Spider-Man:
This guy's going to ruin my lungs faster than tailgating a Manhattan taxi.

[to himself as he looks for the Chameleon]

Peter:
Now if I were a chameleon, whose colors would I choose?

Spider-Man:
I guess it really does pay to practice shoddy journalism, keep it up J.J.

Jameson:
Why, you!

[swings a punch and misses]

Spider-Man:
Gotta run!

[after he knocks out Chameleon]

Spider-Man:
Sleep tight Chameleon, maybe when you wake up you'll feel more like yourself.

Jameson:
The Chameleon? Here? Right next to me? I need a long vacation.

Spider-Man:
Well, Bruce, I've saved the World again. And what do I get for it? As usual - zelch, nada, nothing. That's what.

Nick Fury:
Heck of a job, Spider-Man. Thanks.

Spider-Man:
Did he say thanks? Someone thanking Spider-Man? Well, that's a first!

Mary Jane:
Thanks, for not coming to my play as you promised.

Peter:
As I promised?!?

Mary Jane:
And, don't you ever kiss me that way again!

Peter:
What kiss?! The Chameleon. Oh, no! Mary Jane wait, I can explain. At least I think I can explain. Okay, maybe, maybe I can't explain. Just listen, listen to me. Hold on a second.