Stanley, Season 1

[Stanley is playing with his animal toys in his mom and dad's bedroom. He runs with a rhinoceros hand puppet.]

Stanley:
CHARGE! Look out! Rhino coming through!

Dennis:
[sees a rolling lion toy on the floor] Huh? Stanley! WATCH OUT!

Stanley:
[slips on the toy] Whoa, WHOA! Uh!

[As Stanley falls on the floor, he sends a box of small plastic red monkeys up to the ceiling, just as his dad walks in. He screams as he is covered with the monkeys.]

Stanley:
Mom! Dad!

Joyce:
Stanley Griff, look at what a mess you made in this room!

Stanley:
Sorry.

Mark:
Aah! That's my good tie!

Stanley:
No, daddy. That's my python. See? [hisses]

Joyce:
That's very nice, Stanley, but--[gasps] My hat!

Stanley:
That's the penguin's igloo!

Mark:
Stanley, you know how much we love you, and we love how much you love animals.

Joyce:
But that doesn't mean we like it when you turn our room into a total zoo.

Mark:
Stanley, I want you to clean up this mess right now, or...

Joyce:
Or...

Mark:
[makes a confused goofy face] Or...

Both:
No dessert tonight!

[Stanley's older brother, Lionel walks in.]

Lionel:
Ooh! Guess who's gonna miss out on banana whammy!

Stanley:
But that's my favorite!

[Lionel laughs mockingly at Stanley.]

Joyce:
Lionel, that's enough.

Mark:
Now, Stanley, you know what you have to do, right?

Stanley:
Finish playing "jungle safari"?

[Lionel laughs again.]

Mark:
Okay, you have 'til dinnertime to herd these animals back to your room.

Dennis:
Boy, do you have a problem.

Stanley:
You can say that again.

Elsie:
[walks in] Boy, do you have a problem. [shuts the door behind her]

Stanley:
Yeah, I know.

[Elsie yowls as Harry pushes the door open, and runs in.]

Harry:
Hey, Stanley! Did ya hear? You have a problem!

Stanley:
[irritated yelling] ALRIGHT, ALREADY!!!

[At bedtime.]

Stanley:
Thanks for solving my problem, Dennis.

[Stanley feeds Dennis fish flakes.]

Dennis:
Mmm. Oh, you're more than welcome, Stanley. But you know, you solved your problem yourself.

Stanley:
I guess I did. I love kangaroos, don't you?

Dennis:
Yes, I do. Especially when they're in Australia.

Stanley:
They can jump so high...

Dennis:
And they keep their joeys safe in their pouches.

Stanley:
That's right. But you know who's my favorite animal friend in the whole wide world?

Dennis:
Um... The rhinoceros?

Stanley:
No.

Dennis:
Uh... Aardvark?

Stanley:
Nope.

Dennis:
Uh... Thomson's gazelle?

Stanley:
: Uh-uh. Nope. My favorite animal friend is better than any of those, because he's always there when I need him. My favorite animal friend... is you.

Dennis:
[blushes] Oh...

Stanley:
Goodnight, Dennis.

Dennis:
Goodnight, kanga-room-a cleaner.

[A humpback whale jumps out of the Great Big Book of Everything and onto the roof of Stanley's house, causing the house to shake.]

Mark:
What is that?!

Joyce:
Oh. That sounds like a big truck.

Lionel:
[panics] Aah! The sky is falling!

[After Stanley got the whale back in the book...]

Lionel:
I think... I saw... a whale on our house.

Stanley:
A whale? No way, Lionel.

Lionel:
I must be seeing things. Weird.

[Dennis was reading a book, when Stanley suddenly picks up his bowl.]

Dennis:
Whoa! Where are we going?!

[Stanley slides down the stairs and runs through the house with Dennis.]

Stanley:
Wahoo!

Dennis:
Uh, I thought you were gonna think about your project.

Stanley:
I think best of my pogo stick. I think it's in the garage.

[As Stanley keeps running, Dennis reacts in fright.]

Dennis:
Watch out for those--!

[Stanley trips over a stack of newspapers, sending Dennis flying in the air.]

Stanley:
Aaaah!

Dennis:
Aaaaaaah!

Stanley:
[gasps]

[Stanley catches Dennis' fishbowl, which catches the water, and Dennis.]

Dennis:
Newspapers.

Stanley:
This guy is cool. He doesn't look like he has any chores at all. What does he do all day?

Dennis:
Well mostly, he eats leaves and hangs upside down.

Stanley:
I'm gonna give it a try.

Dennis:
[concerned] I don't know, Stanley. Hanging from a tree all day and all night might be okay for a sloth, but...

Stanley:
You think it's a great idea, right?

Dennis:
Well... Just don't eat the leaves.

[Stanley is hanging from the sloth's branch, covered in algae, and straining. Dennis' bowl is on top of the branch, also covered with algae.]

Dennis:
Can we please stop this silly game, Stanley? Aren't your arms getting tired?

Stanley:
[strains] Just a few more...

[Suddenly, Stanley, Dennis, and the sloth hear some growling above them. A jaguar is prowling across the canopy. He doesn't notice Stanley, Dennis, or the sloth, so he leaves. Stanley turns gets on top of the branch.]

Stanley:
Wow. That jaguar was huge. He didn't see us.

Dennis:
I think he was searching for a meal. Thanks for camouflaging my bowl.

[Suddenly, they hear the sound of a chainsaw.]

Stanley:
What's that sound?

Dennis:
Doesn't sound like any animal I've ever heard.

[A tree topples over.]

Stanley:
Whoa! He's gonna...

Dennis:
Cut us down!

Stanley:
Whoa...

[Stanley screams as the tree topples over.]

Stanley:
Aaaah!

[Dennis is briefly left hanging in the air, before plummeting down.]

Dennis:
Aaaah!

Stanley and Dennis:
Whoa!

Mark:
Stanley! Time for breakfast!

Stanley:
Coming!

Mark:
Good morning, Animal Boy.

Stanley:
Morning, daddy. Is it okay if I get Dennis his breakfast first?

Mark:
Sure thing! I think it's great the way you take care of that little fishy of yours.

Dennis:
[irritated] "Little fishy"?! Did he say "little fishy"?!

Stanley:
Now let's see. What would you like for breakfast today? Oatmeal, pancakes, poached eggs on toast?

Dennis:
Very amusing, Stanley. Fish flakes will do quite nicely, as always.

Stanley:
Of course, I can make my own breakfast. I made yours, didn't I?

Dennis:
It was quite, quite delicious, and beautifully served, might I add.

Stanley:
All I need is cereal... [takes a cereal box from out of the cabinet] Yes! Animal Smackos! And then, of course, I need milk.

[Stanley gets the milk, and takes it and the cereal to the table.]

Stanley:
I pour the cereal into the bowl. [does so]

Dennis:
Very nicely done!

Stanley:
Then I pour the milk into the bowl. [does so]

Dennis:
[worried] Watch out, don't spill.

Stanley:
Didn't spill a drop!

Dennis:
Bravo, Stanley!

Stanley:
And the only thing left to do is eat.

[Stanley grabs the mat his bowl of cereal is resting on, but he pulls too hard, sending the cereal bowl and Dennis' fishbowl off the table.]

Stanley:
Whoa, WHOA!

[Dennis screams as his fishbowl goes over the table, but Stanley manages to catch him in time. But the cereal has been spilled on the floor.]

Stanley:
Oh, no!

Dennis:
A bit of a mess-up, I'm afraid.

Stanley:
[watching the anteater] That tongue is so cool. I can't wait to see it lick up all the milk and cereal I spilled. [runs up to the anteater] Come on, Mr. Anteater. I gotta get you back home right now.

Dennis:
But Stanley, wait! Wait!

[Stanley grabs Dennis, and he jumps out of the book with him and the anteater.]

Stanley:
What were you saying, Dennis?

Dennis:
I was saying, "Wait, wait". Anteaters eat ants, you see.

Stanley:
Yes, I know that.

Dennis:
They do not eat milk and cereal.

[The anteater sniffs the spilled milk and cereal, and leaves.]

Stanley:
Oh. Not even Animal Smackos?

Dennis:
No, Stanley. You'd have to have spilled a bowl of ants to get this fella to help you clean up.

[On a late winter's day, Stanley takes Dennis outside.]

Dennis:
It's awfully chilly out here, Stanley. What is it you wanted to show me?

[Stanley sees a giant pile of melted snow before him.]

Stanley:
OH, NO!

[Marci and Mimi come running.]

Marci:
What's the matter, Stanley

Stanley:
Look at Dennis' surprise!

Marci and Mimi:
Uh-oh.

Dennis:
Well, I must say, I am surprised, Stanley. And I'm sure you know how much I appreciate, um... big... snow... lumps.

Stanley:
But yesterday, it was a giant snow goldfish!

Mimi:
It looked just like you, Dennis!

Marci:
Only bigger, of course.

[Stanley kicks the melted snow pile in frustration.]

Stanley:
I'm sorry, Dennis.

Dennis:
No need to apologize. Snow tends to melt quite quickly in late winter.

Mimi:
Yeah, and turn to mucky, ucky slush!

Marci:
It's no fun playing outside anymore.

Stanley:
You said it. It takes forever to put on a snowsuit.

Marci:
And mittens.

Mimi:
And boots.

Stanley:
And this stupid cap. And then there's nothing to do except watch everything melt and get muddy.

Marci:
I want it to be spring right now.

Stanley:
Yeah!

Mimi:
Me too.

Dennis:
That would be lovely, of course. But I'm afraid it's not gonna happen overnight.

Stanley:
I'm gonna save all the endangered animals on Earth, Dennis!

Dennis:
That's a rather large job, don't you think?

Stanley:
Not for me. I've got it all figured out. A lot of animals are losing their homes because people keep cutting down forests.

Dennis:
That's certainly true.

Stanley:
So I'm gonna invite all the endangered animals to come live with us!

Dennis:
Here? In your room?

Stanley:
Well, sort of. It'll be great. I'll open the Stanley Griff Animal Hotel, see?

[Stanley imagines refurbishing his house into a hotel for all the animals of the world.]

Stanley:
Don't worry, everybody! You'll be safe here! This way, alligators. How's it goin', sea lions? You're gonna love it here tigers.

Dennis:
Excuse me! Stanley!

Stanley:
Not now, Dennis. I'm welcoming my guests.

Dennis:
Yes, but it's about those guests for yours. I think you're making a big mistake.

[Stanley's fantasy ends.]

Stanley:
Mistake? How can helping endangered animals be a mistake?

Dennis:
Well, you see, Stanley, there are lots and lots of endangered animals in the world.

Stanley:
I know! And I'll save 'em all!

Dennis:
And I really wish you could. But the truth is, they don't all get along with each other. If you open the Stanley Griff Animal Hotel, you would have big problems, I'm afraid.

[Stanley returns to his fantasy, all the animals inside his hotel are fighting. A scared rooster flies out the window, crowing.]

Stanley:
Stop! Stop!

[All the animals flee from the hotel.]