Teen Titans, Season 1

Cyborg:
Well, how am I supposed to watch TV without a remote?

Raven:
Simple, you just get up and change the channel.

Cyborg:
[he and Beast Boy exchange looks] Don't even joke like that.

Raven:
I wasn't joking.

Cyborg:
Good. 'Cause it wasn't funny.

Cyborg:
Come on, man, how could you deny me the all-meat experience?

Beast Boy:
Dude, I've been most of those animals!

Starfire:
I suggest a large pizza with pickles, bananas, and mint frosting.

Robin:
[after a moment of awkward silence] Uh, Starfire, not everything on the menu is a pizza topping.

Starfire:
Oh....

Cyborg:
Double pepperoni!

Beast Boy:
I'm not eating meat!

Cyborg:
There's no meat in pepperoni!

Cyborg:
Um... don't buses normally have drivers?

Robin:
[picks up a teddy bear in the baby carriage they just saved from being smashed by a runaway bus] And don't baby carriages normally have babies?

Gizmo:
[through the teddy bear, as it turns to look at Robin] Are you pit-sniffers normally this stupid?

Beast Boy:
Is it me, or are we getting our butts kicked?

Robin:
It's just you!

Jinx:
[to Raven] You fight like a boy.

Beast Boy:
That didn't just happen. Tell me that didn't just happen.

[Beast Boy rubs his right thigh and Raven heals it.]

Beast Boy:
Who knew we had a doctor in the house. Thanks...

Cyborg:
(entering the scene) Maybe ya'll should call me Flyborg. I was halfway to Gotham City before Star zapped that thing off my back. So what'd I miss?

[Beast Boy look downcast and do not answer]

Cyborg:
Tell me how we kicked their butts. C'mon, I gotta have to play by play.

Cyborg:
[after being hacked into by Gizmo and losing his right arm] We got kicked out of our house, a pint-size Poindexter took me for a joyride, and in case you haven't noticed, I just became left-handed!

Cyborg:
Or what?! Our bad vibes will keep you from meditating?!

Jinx:
[going through Raven's clothes] Does she have anything that's not blue?

Beast Boy:
NO! This is the worst thing that could ever happen! My tunes, they've been...alphabetized! How am I ever gonna find anything?!

Starfire:
Somebody ate all of our blue, furry food!

Robin:
Cotton candy? [Offers some]

Starfire:
The last time I ate a ball of cotton, it was white, and it did not taste very-

Robin:
-this is different.

Starfire:
[She eats some] Mmmm...oh! [Laughs] It vanished!

Robin:
[Laughs] Yeah, it'll do that.

Beast Boy:
Told you we'd win you a prize!

Raven:
A giant chicken, I must be the luckiest girl in the world.

Blackfire:
Yo, Beast Boy, what's up?!

Beast Boy:
Nothing but the ceiling, baby.

Blackfire:
[Laughing] Good one!

Beast Boy:
[To Raven] See? She thinks I'm funny.

Starfire:
Might you wish to "hang out" with me? We could visit your favorite depressing cafe.

Raven:
This is pointless,

Goth Boy:
Everything's pointless; wanna go talk about it?

Guy:
Hey, hot alien girl. You diggin' the scene?

Starfire:
I did not know we were supposed to bring shovels. [Everybody laughs at her]

Starfire:
Everything is not wonderful. I am happy to see her, but Blackfire rules the video games, and she is able to share very depressing poems, and she knows the "cool moves", and she always knows when people are not talking about shovels!

Cyborg:
You want to pass me, but you can't pass me. You can't pa- [Surprised; Beast Boy grins] You passed me!

Beast Boy:
Tighten the turn... jets... and nitro!

Starfire:
[Gasps] Beautiful, tell me again what they are called?

Robin:
Fireworks.

Starfire:
On my home planet, such explosions would mean the Gordanians were attacking. You are sure certain Earth is not under attack?

Robin:
Positive.

Starfire:
When I first came to this planet, I did not think I would ever fit in; Earth was full of strange things. But now I see tha-

Robin:
Here comes the finale. [fireworks go off and Robin cheers] Ah-mazing.

Starfire:
Earth is full of amazing things too.

Robin:
Best planet I've ever been to.

Centauri 2:
By the name of the Grand Centauri Empire, you are all under arrest. (pulls out a badge)

Beast Boy:
Uh, you can't be the good guys. We're the good guys.

Centauri 2:
And we are Centauri Police.

Centauri 1:
The Tamaranean girl is a liar and a thief! (points to Starfire) She's commited high crimes throughout the entire Centauri system.

Starfire:
I have never even been to the Centauri Moons.

Robin:
But I know someone who has. (takes the necklace off Starfire, showing the gem Blackfire gave her earlier; Starfire gasps) (to the police) You've been chasing the wrong girl. (turns to the others) Where's Blackfire?

Beast Boy:
[sees a dark figure zooming through the sky] Uh...

Robin:
Don't worry, Starfire. She won't get away with this!

Starfire:
(enraged) No, she will not!

Robin:
Loser.

Cyborg:
Jerk.

Both:
WHAT'D YOU SAY?!

Robin:
You got a problem, tin man?!

Cyborg:
Yeah! It's four feet tall and smells like cheap hair gel!

Robin:
Well, you're an oversized klutz and your feet smell like motor oil!

Cyborg:
You're bossy, you're rude, you got no taste in music!

Robin:
I don't even know why you're on this team!

Cyborg:
That makes two of us! I QUIT!

Beast Boy:
Come on, Cy, pick up. I know you're there. The phone's built into your arm!

Starfire:
[About the Pudding of Sadness] Try. The displeasing taste will ease your troubled mind.

Starfire:
I feel like the underside of a Zornian muck-beetle.

Starfire:
I wish to initiate a group hug!

Robin:
Let me go, you giant ZIT!

Beast Boy:
Okay, it's not a ridiculous prank...it's a BRILLIANT one!

Beast Boy:
Shhhh!..

Beast Boy:
Shhhh!

Cyborg:
Why are we hiding?

Beast Boy:
Shhhhhhhh!!

[Beast Boy realizes it's Cyborg]

Beast Boy:
Cyborg?! You can't be Cyborg!!

Cyborg:
[Confused] I can't?

Beast Boy:
If you're you - then who's...?

Starfire:
Is this punishment? I did something wrong?

Raven:
You didn't. He did.

Beast Boy:
Star, it was... You weren't supposed to... I didn't... Heh, just remember to change that oil every 3,000 miles. Heh heh.

Starfire:
On my planet we have a name for those who do such horrible things, you are a...A CLORBAG VARBLERNELK!!

Beast Boy:
I'm a what-bag??

Cyborg:
You heard the lady.

Raven:
You are such a clorbag.

Beast Boy:
(Hurrying to catch up with Starfire) Come on, Star. (He catches up) You can't stay mad forever. What? Do I have to do the face? (smiling) You know you can't resist the face.

[He turns into a small kitten with wide eyes and meows]

Starfire:
Hmph! [Walks on]

[Beast Boy turns back into his normal form]

Beast Boy:
She resisted the face!

Robin:
Okay, team. We have to find those guys before they do any more damage. Cyborg, search the west side. Raven, the east. I'll take downtown. Beast Boy, you and Star scan from the skies.

[Beast Boy glances at Starfire, who has her back to him, her eyes closed and arms crossed]

Beast Boy:
Um... maybe Cyborg should come with me instead?

Robin:
[A beat] But, Cyborg can't fly.

Beast Boy:
Oh. Yeah.

Cyborg:
[Pinches Beast Boy's cheek] Have a nice flight, my little clorbag.

[Beast Boy crawls out as a spider from under a pile of rubble that seemingly fell on top of Starfire. Turns back into normal form]

Beast Boy:
Star? Starfire? Where are you? (climbs down) Come on! Gimme a sign here! (He starts to dig.) You have to be all right, okay? 'Cause I-it was just a joke, you know? Back at the Tower, and...I'm sorry. I never said it, but I'm really, really sorry. It was supposed to be funny. And you could've been hurt, and... (softly) ...I'm a total clorbag. [A shadow comes over him. He looks over his shoulder] Huh?

[Cuts to Starfire standing behind him, a forgiving smile on her face]

Beast Boy:
Starfire!

[Turns into kitten again and jumps into her arms]

Starfire:
[Laughs] I am glad you are unharmed as well.

[Beast Boy takes normal form again and kneels before her]

Beast Boy:
I am so sorry. You gotta forgive me.

Starfire:
[Helping him up] I already have. Now those evil brothers must be made to apologize.

Beast Boy:
I don't think they are evil. [Zoom in of his face] I think they're just like me.

Beast Boy:
Yo, Raven! Try one! They're loaded with soybeany goodness!.

Cyborg:
Four and a half pounds of baby back ribs! Man, I love picnic food! [starts scarfing away]

Starfire:
Agreed, Cyborg. This tangy yellow beverage is truly delightful.

[starts slurping more of her drink. Robin and Cyborg slowly stop eating and start looking at her, flabbergasted]

Cyborg:
Um .. Starfire?

Robin:
That's mustard.

Starfire:
[lovingly rubs the mustard jar on her cheek] Is there more?

The Amazing Mumbo:
Now, Robin, I'm sure there's a peaceful solution here... [Takes two bombs] But this isn't it!

Dr. Light:
[Taunting her] What's the matter, afraid of the light?

Dr. Light:
[Raven loses control of her anger] Aaah! NO! NO! [Tentacles grab him] My suit! What are you--No! Stop! You win! I surrender!

Dr. Light:
I SURRENDER! NOOOOO... [He's pulled under her cloak]

Dr. Light:
[After being pulled out of Raven's cloak, looking absolutely horrified, pale and somewhat beaten up] It was...so...so dark...make it stop...[Shuddering] Make it stop!

Robin:
[After Beast Boy served Breakfast] Thanks Beast Boy. Everything looks great.

Starfire:
On my planet, such a feast would mark the arrangement of a marriage. Tell me Beast Boy, to whom are you engaged?

[Beast Boy screams and shudders]

Robin:
Maybe you should go apologize.

Beast Boy:
Me?! I'm not the one who turned breakfast into a battlefield!

Cyborg:
Yeah, but after the weirdness that went down last night you should know better than to go messin' with her.

Beast Boy:
I was trying to be NICE! But no matter how hard I try,she still treats me like tofu eggs! You know, she's never once laughed at any of my jokes!

Cyborg:
At least she listens. I just kinda tune you out.

Cyborg:
We're in Raven's room... We should not be in Raven's room...

Beast Boy:
[After being pulled into a bizarre world] I told you we shouldn't have gone in her room!

Beast Boy:
So,where are we?

Cyborg:
You're asking the wrong robot. My sensors must be on the blank cause they're sayin' we're in Titans Tower.

Beast Boy:
Riiight. So how do we get back?

Cyborg:
Guess we start walking.

Beast Boy:
Come on! I'm serious. We're on a rock in the middle of- [gets cut off] [rocks start forming a path] Oh. If sending us to Weirdsville is Raven's idea of a joke,I am SO not laughing.

Cyborg:
Hey, she didn't send us here! You're the one who went snooping in her room and popping zits in her magic mirror!

Beast Boy:
Who booby traps a mirror?

Cyborg:
Maybe it wasn't a trap, maybe its Raven's way home. Maybe this is where she's from.

Beast Boy:
Definitely creepy enough.

Beast Boy:
[After being narrowly saved from falling nevermore by the ground turning 180 degrees] Raven?? How did...Where...What just... Why are you wearing PINK???

Happy Raven:
'Cause it's my favorite color?

Beast Boy:
[Completely flabbergasted] It is?

Cyborg:
Look, I'd love to talk fashion, but I don't suppose you'd know how to get home?

Happy Raven:
The Forbidden Door. It's the only way out. But you don't wanna go there. Not now.

Beast Boy, Cyborg:
[glance at each other] Uh... yeah, we do!

Happy Raven:
[cheerfully] Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you! [leads them to the door, pretending to be an aeroplane]

Cyborg:
Have you ever seen her this happy?

Beast Boy:
Dude, I didn't even think Raven could do happy.

Cyborg:
[To Pink Raven] You're laughing?

Beast Boy:
At one of my jokes?

Happy Raven:
Sure. I always thought you were funny, BB, but hey, looks aren't everything! [laughs]

[Robin and Starfire find Raven meditating on the roof]

Robin:
Raven, you okay? We stopped by your room and the door's been knocked down.

[ and she briefly laughs uncontrollably before instantly turning deadpan]

Starfire:
[to Robin] Many of your Earthly ways are still strange to me, but that was... "just plain freaky", correct?

Cyborg:
Hey, I know where we are! We're in that place where I didn't know where we were before!

Timid Raven:
And, remember the time I called you both immature pinheads? I'm sorry for that too. And also-

Beast Boy:
[exasperated] For the hundredth-millionth time...

Beast Boy, Cyborg:
... WE FORGIVE YOU!

Beast Boy:
[To the green Raven] What is your deal?! First you nuke breakfast, then finally laugh at my jokes, then you're all weepy, and now you're a Marine?! Make up your mind! WHO ARE YOU?!

Happy, Timid and Brave Ravens:
I'm Raven.

[Beast Boy faints at the scene of all three together.]

Cyborg:
[Pointing them each out] Happy, timid, brave.

Happy Raven:
You forgot Dopey! [Points to Beast Boy and laughs]

Cyborg:
Different sides of Raven's personality; we're not in Raven's home...

Beast Boy:
We're in her head.

Beast Boy:
[nervously] Hehe... my bad.

Beast Boy:
Thought you didn't like me.

Cyborg:
Yo! I like both of you! Now get your butts over here!

Beast Boy:
So we really are friends?

Beast Boy:
And you really think I'm funny?

Starfire:
Raven? Please forgive my interruption, but have you seen Robin?

Starfire:
Oh. Perhaps you have seen Cyborg?

Starfire:
Beast Boy-?

Starfire:
Perhaps we should do the hanging out? We never have before and conceivably it could be fun. We might journey to the mall of shopping, or perform braiding maneuvers upon each other's hair, or- [Notices Raven is visibly fuming with irritation] ...you wish to be alone?

Robin:
[About the puppets] They got all the details just right.

Beast Boy:
Speak for yourself! I'm way better looking than this. And taller.

Starfire:
Shall my tiny replica do battle with your tiny replica?

Beast Boy:
[Sleeptalking] Ladies, please- one at a time. You'll all get to take a picture with me. [Kisses the socks in his hands]

Starfire:
Oh Starfire! This is awful, terribly, horribly awful!

Raven:
Tell me about it.

Starfire:
Very well. Robin, Cyborg and Beast Boy have been trapped inside tiny wooden bodies while a nasty creature called the Puppet King has taken control of their real bodies which he is using to hunt us down and you and I are in the wrong bodies and-! [She destroys everything she walks past as she gets more worked up]

Raven:
Raven [more calmly] You need to calm down.

Starfire:
What if they find us? What if our friends are doomed? What if I am stuck looking like this forever?!

Raven:
We'll fix it. I don't know how, but we will rescue the boys, and we will get our bodies back. [beat] What's wrong with the way I look?

Starfire:
Nothing!

[Street lamp blows up]

Starfire:
I will try to calm down! Peace...quiet...tranquil- (A car suddenly flips over)

Raven:
We are so doomed.

Raven:
Fly, fly!

Starfire:
We cannot fight them again. I do not wish to, and in our present condition we would surely be defeated!

Raven:
OK, how do you fly this thing?

Starfire:
Quickly Raven, our friends are in danger! We must follow and-

Raven:
And what?Save them with my unusable powers while your unbridled emotions blow us to bits. (sarcastically) Nice flying by the way.

Starfire:
] What was your joyful thought?

Raven:
You don't want to know.

Starfire:
Oh, but I do! Please tell me: What did you imagine?

Raven:
You not talking.

Starfire:
Oh... well... I am... glad I was able to help.

Puppet Beast Boy:
Dude! Get your butt outta my face!

Puppet Robin:
Can't move. Deal with it.

Starfire:
We have done it! [Hugs ]

Beast Boy:
[In reply to Starfire's comment about the marine life] If you think that's cool, wait'll you see me out there kicking butt! First, I'm goin' shark. [He starts snapping his jaws, mimicking a shark.]

Cyborg:
[Pressing the off switch controlling Beast Boy's microphone]

Beast Boy:
[Now muffled] Hey! What just...is this thing on?! Hey, cut it out!

Cyborg:
[Turns it back on; Innocently] Goodness me, I seem to have accidentally switched off Beast Boy's microphone.

Beast Boy:
Time to do what I do best. Try not to be jealous. [Turns into a whale]

Cyborg:
Main power's down, hydrojets are toast and we're leaking air!

Robin:
Tell me something I don't know!

Beast Boy:
[As a squid, chasing the Titans as they sink] I got it, I got it! [Two whales pass him] Huh? [The two whales save the Titans] They got it? How come they got it?

Aqualad:
[Popping up next to him] Because I asked for their help.

Beast Boy:
You talk to fish? Yeah right!

Aqualad:
I'm talking to you, aren't I?

Beast Boy:
[frustrated] Well I, uh... technically I'm a squid.

Beast Boy:
INCOMING!!! [Lands on Aqualad] I said "incoming".

Beast Boy, Aqualad:
[In perfect sync with each other] I just saw Trident! No you didn't! Yes I did! Cut it out!

Robin:
[Sealing the cave with the seismic blasters] Yes!

Starfire:
Victory!

Cyborg:
Boo-yah!

Beast Boy:
You're the best!

Aqualad:
No, you're the best!

Beast Boy:
Yeah, you're right.

Aqualad:
I usually work alone.

Beast Boy:
Yeah.. Me too.

Aqualad:
You do not. You're part of a team.

Beast Boy:
So? You hang out with Tram, the fish boy! What's your point??

Beast Boy:
O.K, all work and no flicks makes me a dull Beast Boy. So my fellow couch potatoes, what'll it be? Super Ninja Showdown 8? Or Maniac Fury: Attack of the Protozoids?

Cyborg:
[Not sarcastically] Yeah, it's really hard to pick. Wanna watch 'em both?!

Starfire:
Perhaps Robin would enjoy potatoing the couch with us?

Slade:
Patience. Trust is easy to destroy, but it takes time to build.

Beast Boy:
I don't know,. That's kind of a good look for you.

Cyborg:
Hold still. [Rips the X off with a nasty tearing noise, Beast Boy and Starfire scream]

Cyborg:
I've adjusted my ocular implant to scan multiple subharmonics in the EM spectrum.

Beast Boy:
'Kay, do you come with subtitles?

Cyborg:
My eye should spot him even if he's invisible.

Beast Boy:
[After Red X saves him from an oncoming subway train] Dude, did you just save me? [Red X kicks him] D'oh!

Robin:
Whatever you're planning, Slade, it's over!

Slade:
On the contrary, Robin... it's just begun.

[Slade knocks Robin off the edge of a building. Just as he starts to fall, Slade catches him by the wrist.]

Robin:
You... saved me?

Slade:
I'm not through with you!

Robin:
You want to yell at me, too? Everyone else has, and I don't blame them.

Starfire:
I do not wish to yell, merely to understand. Robin, why did you not tell us the truth?

Robin:
I needed to fool Slade. If you guys knew it was me under that mask, you guys would have held back. Doesn't matter anyway, Slade figured it out, and I haven't figured anything out about him.

Starfire:
That is not true. Whoever Slade is, you and he are... similar. He did not trust you... and you did not trust us.

Mad Mod:
Why you're right where you belong my duckies! You're in school!(Mad Mod skids down stair railing) That's right lads, and lovies, you're the only students at Mad Mod's Institute for Braty Teenage Do-gooders!

Mad Mod:
And it's 'bout time someone taught you sprogs a lesson!

Starfire:
Now we need only to locate an exit.

Cyborg:
Or just keep blastin' 'til we make one.

Robin:
Easy, last thing I smashed tried to smash me back!

Starfire:
[Trying to wake Beast Boy] Beast Boy? It is I, Starfire, your friend! Please, speak to me! [knocks on his head] Beast Boy! Beast Boy!. [Pauses and then takes a huge breath. Yelling at the top of her voice] BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSST BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!! [Beast Boy doesn't wake]

Robin:
[Nervously] Eh, Star, I don't think that's working.

Cyborg:
[Burps loudly]

Beast Boy:
[Wakes up, laughs] Nice one!...Uh, how did I get here and why am I covered in drool?

Cyborg:
Make him laugh!

Starfire:
[To Beast Boy] How many okarins does it take to hogie a morflark?...Fimbar!

Beast Boy:
[Drools]

Starfire:
Um... "boogers"?

Beast Boy:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... "Boogers"...OH MAN!

Cyborg:
You asked for it! [He removes Raven's hood, moistens his finger and gives her a Wet Willy]

Beast Boy:
[Laughing hysterically] AWESOME! [Realizing he was hypnotized again] Not again!

Mad Mod:
[Cornered] Ah-heh-heh. Hello, guv'nuh.

Robin:
School's out, and you're looking at about 20 years of detention.

Starfire:
[Puts down a hypnotized Beast Boy] I cannot awaken Beast Boy. I have tried the tickling, all manners of bodily noises, and the word "underpants". I fear that this time his brain is gone forever!

Beast Boy:
[Wakes up, laughs] Ha ha!! Good one!! [Stops, glares] Dude, that's not funny! I totally have a brain! I just don't use it much...

Robin:
All you care about is destruction.

Slade:
And all you care about, you destroy.

Slade:
I'm sure you're all familiar with the concept of a Chronoton Detonator...

Cyborg:
No!

Starfire:
[Gasps]

Beast Boy:
No way! ...um, what's a crouton detonator?

Beast Boy:
You know, just because we're trying to catch Slade doesn't mean you have to act like him.

Robin:
Don't you ever compare me to him. He's trying to destroy the city; I'm trying to save it!

Cyborg:
I will not be havin' attitude from a boat!

Slade:
For some time now, I have been searching for... an apprentice. Someone to follow in my footsteps. And Robin, I've chosen you. Congratulations.

Robin:
No way would I ever work for-

[Slade shows Robin the kill switch]

Slade:
If you join me... if you swear to serve me... if you never speak to your friends again... I will allow them to live. But... if you disobey even the smallest request... I will annihilate them, Robin - and I will make you watch. So, do we have a deal?

Beast Boy:
The way I see it, there are only two logical explainations. One: [Holds up comic book with a robot dressed as Robin on cover] he's been replaced with an evil robot duplicate. Two: [Flips to frame with a zombie Robin] he's another innocent victim of zombie mind control.

Beast Boy:
That's not Slade... That's...

Starfire:
Robin...

Slade:
You're going to keep stealing, Robin. And you're going to keep getting that thrill. And sooner or later, you will see things my way. Who knows? I might even become like a father to you.

Robin:
I already have a father. [Pan up as bats fly through the ceiling] [Theme from Batman: The Animated Series plays]

Slade:
Robin, that was vicious, dishonorable, and ruthless. Excellent work. You're becoming more like me every second.

Starfire:
Robin... you are my best friend. I cannot be in a world where we must fight. If you are truly evil, then go ahead - do what you must.

Beast Boy:
[shocked at the probes inside his blood cells] Those things are inside of me!? EW!

Cyborg:
They're inside all of us.

Starfire:
With these, Slade can destroy whenever he wants to.

Beast Boy:
And you guys thought my zombie theory was crazy.

Robin:
Get out of here. Go! You don't know what those beams did to...

Beast Boy:
Dude.

Cyborg:
And we don't care.

Starfire:
We are your friends, Robin. We are not leaving without you.

Slade:
How very touching... [Puts thumb on trigger] but Robin doesn't need any friends.

Cyborg:
That's it, y'all. The Teen Titans are officially probe-free.

Beast Boy:
[Doing "the robot"] Go Beast Boy, you're probeless, no probes now, go Beast Boy, go Beast Boy... get funky! [Moonwalks] Uh-uh, that's right...

[Cyborg and Robin stare]

Beast Boy:
Yeah!

Cyborg:
All-you-can-eat...

Beast Boy:
Free form...

Beast Boy, Cyborg:
Breakfast explosion!

Beast Boy:
Who wants tofu waffles?

Cyborg:
Man, nobody wants tofu waffles.

Beast Boy:
I do. Now pass me the soy milk.

Cyborg:
I'm telling you, you're not getting anywhere near the soy milk.

Beast Boy:
Dude, pass me the soy milk!

Cyborg:
Is there meat in the tofu?

Beast Boy:
No, there's no meat in tofu, it's tofu!

Cyborg:
Then nobody wants it...

Cyborg:
You lost my car?... My car lost a race?!

Thief:
No way, we beat him easy. She handled like a dream!

Cyborg:
She did? How'd she take the curves 'cause, Y'know, I've been working on the suspension, and-d-d-d-d-- Don't try to distract me! Who has her now?

Cyborg:
What are you doing here?

Cyborg:
Might as well stop looking. T-Car's probably halfway to Metropolis by now... from the day I designed her, I knew she was gonna be special. And I work so hard every fuel injector every spark plug. I made her perfect. I put my heart, my soul, and my circuits into this car. And now she's gone forever. Maybe you were right, maybe it was just a car.

Cyborg:
Yeah. Thanks, Rae.

Cyborg:
[Sees Gizmo drive off in his car; About Gizmo] He'll get ketchup on the seats!

Gizmo:
Hey! Let me go, ya barf-smelling hairball! [He farts in Cyborg's face]

Overload:
[After taking over the T-car] Only way to stop Overload is to destroy your precious car!

Cyborg:
[Changes right arm into sonic blaster] It's not my car anymore.

Starfire:
[after accidentally turning on the windshield wipers] Look, they are dancing!

Beast Boy:
You know, Cinderblock, normally, the bad guys break out of jail.

Robin:
And I can think of five good reasons why you don't want to break in.

[Robin leaps across the floor and lands in a crouch.]

Robin:
One!

[Now Starfire swoops and lands.]

Starfire:
Two!

[Beast Boy, as a tiger, lunges in. And when he comes down, he quickly changes into human form.]

Beast Boy:
Three!

[Next, Raven drops in.]

Raven:
Four!

[Finally, Cyborg jumps in.]

Cyborg:
Five!

[The Titans stands ready for anything.]

Robin:
No matter how you do the math, it all adds up to you going down. So, are you going to go quietly…

Cyborg:
…Or is this gonna get loud?

Robin:
Want to give this guy the Sonic Boom?

Cyborg:
I got the Sonic if you got the Boom.

Cyborg:
[answering machine] This is Cyborg. I'm either in the gym, playing GameStation, or kicking bad-guy butt. Leave a message. [Beep.]

Beast Boy:
Come on, Cy, pick up. I know you're there. The phone's built into your arm!

Starfire:
Taste. [Starfire shoves it into his mouth without warning, which ends up vomiting all out.]

Beast Boy:
What is that? Cream of toenails?

Starfire:
Pudding of Sadness. It is what the people of my planet eat when bad things happen. [Takes a spoonful herself, much to her displeased and then turns to Raven] Try. The displeasing taste will ease your troubled mind.

Raven:
My mind is never troubled. People come, people go. It's pointless to be upset about Cyborg.

[Her hair flies wildly about her face and all the monitors crack; a sudden flare-up of her powers because she in denial.]

Raven:
What?

Starfire:
[As she turns to Robin] Here, Robin. You must need this most of all since… well…

Robin:
I'm fine. Who knows? Maybe we're better off without him.

Cyborg:
I still got the Sonic if you still got the Boom.

Robin & Cyborg:
Teen Titans! Go!

Robin:
Look, uh… sorry about…

Cyborg:
Yeah.

Robin:
So… are we cool?

Cyborg:
Frosty. [As they tap fists.]

Starfire:
You made up! Glorious! I wish to initiate a group hug.

Raven:
Pass.

Beast Boy:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, warm fuzzies all around. But we still gotta stop Cinderblock.

Cyborg:
No, we don't. Thought I'd bring a present, 'case you were still mad.

[Cinderblock is wrapped in steel and being hoist up by a crane.]

Robin:
Thanks. But there is one thing that's still bothering me.

[Raven, Beast Boy, and Starfire first react with surprise.]

Robin:
Breaking into jail? Using Plasmus to distract us? The whole plan seems to be a little too smart for Cinderblock.

Cyborg:
I've been thinking the same thing.

[The other three are relieved.]

Robin:
Someone must have been pulling the strings. But who?

Cyborg:
Well, whoever they are… they're no match for the Teen Titans. [He and Robin trade a high five.]

Robin:
I heard that!

Slade:
Next time, my plans will succeed. And the Titans will pay.

Starfire:
Friends! I invite you to join me in the togetherness of a stay-home movie night. I bring you popcorn and non-cotton candies. Tell me, what sort of movie shall we view?

Robin:
Action.

Beast Boy:
Comedy.

Cyborg:
Sci-fi.

Raven:
Horror.

[Starfire drops her load of goodies, due to her surprise.]

Starfire:
Perhaps a double feature?

Blackfire:
[Chuckles] Now don't tell me you big tough superheroes are afraid of a little dancing.

Beast Boy:
Betcha Cyborg can do the Robot.

Robin:
Hey. How are you doing?

Starfire:
I am… sad for my sister.

Robin:
And for yourself?

Starfire:
I am just glad that the truth was discovered before I was replaced.

Robin:
What are you talking about?

Starfire:
Well, you… everyone was having such fun with her, and then Cyborg said-

Robin:
Look. Your sister was... interesting, but she could never take your place. No one could ever take your place.

Cyborg:
How could you lose the remote?

Beast Boy:
What makes you so sure I lost it?

Cyborg:
Uh, 'cause you're you.

Beast Boy:
Hey! Just because I lost that video game-

Cyborg:
-and the waffle iron.

Beast Boy:
So, uh...who else never wants to go surfing again?

Cyborg:
Not now, man!

Beast Boy:
Hey, I was just trying to- [Raven puts a hand on his shoulder to cut him off. Cyborg extends a small acetylene torch from his left forefinger. The panel on his thigh opens, revealing a plethora of sparks and short circuits. Pull back to behind him; Starfire approaches as he bends down to the self-repair work.]

Starfire:
Perhaps I could be of some assistance.

Cyborg:
I got it!

Starfire:
But you are so damaged and-

Cyborg:
I GOT IT!

Beast Boy:
Hey! She only wanted to help! What is your problem!?

Cyborg:
What do you think!? We got kicked OUT of our house, a pint-size Poindexter took me for a joyride, and in case you haven't noticed, I just became left-handed!

Raven:
Enough! We need to control our emotions.

Cyborg:
Or what!? Our bad vibes will keep you from meditating!?

Starfire:
I wish Robin were here.

Cyborg:
Well, he's not! Don't you guys get it!? THEY won, we lost! IT'S OVER!

Beast Boy:
Then...the Teen Titans are finished?

Robin:
Not yet! Not if I can help it!

Starfire:
Cyborg? Cyborg!

Raven:
What's wrong with him?

Beast Boy:
Is he gonna be okay?

Robin:
Shh. I think he's coming to. Cyborg! Are you all right? [He and Starfire pulls him up.]

Cyborg:
Yeah. [Grunts] Thanks.

Raven:
What happened?

Cyborg:
Something musta gone wrong with my systems. [Checks his power cell.] Oh, man! My power cell's dying.

Starfire:
[panics] Dying?!?

Cyborg:
It's only a battery. I'm fine. Happens every couple of years. Just a natural part of being unnatural.

Robin:
So what do we do?

Cyborg:
You keep playing. I go home and change batteries. [He starts walking away.]

Beast Boy:
You sure you don't want help?

Cyborg:
Just 'cause I can't have fun doesn't mean y'all can't.

Fixit:
Charging is complete. The new power cell is functioning properly.

Cyborg:
Yeah. I'm feeling better. Lots better.

Fixit:
Of course you are. I am Fixit. Things come to me broken. I make repairs. Let me see. Yes...yes...hmm...pity. Interesting. The damage is too extensive. Perhaps if we can find another processor.

Cyborg:
Well, thanks...for everything.

Fixit:
[Yelling] You cannot leave.

Cyborg:
I can't?

Fixit:
You are not repaired, not fully.

Cyborg:
I'm not?

Fixit:
My examination revealed many flaws, serious flaws.

Cyborg:
[panics] Serious? How serious? What's wrong with me?

Fixit:
There is no cause for alarm. More repairs are needed. More repairs will be made.

Cyborg:
But, I feel fine. Are you sure I'm-?

Fixit:
Quite. Will you remain? It is for the best.

Cyborg:
Well, yeah, I guess. Let me just tell my friends where I am.

[Fix it sabotage his systems as he jammed his communications.]

Cyborg:
Whoa! Something really is wrong with me.

Fixit:
Rest now. You may contact your friends later. I am sure they are not too concerned.

Cyborg:
Maybe they should be.

Fixit:
So... beautiful. I had forgotten how beautiful... a world... through your eyes...

Cyborg:
Through human eyes.

Cyborg:
[About the puppets] Aww, isn't that cute? Puppet Cy has a light-up eye.

Robin:
Yeah. They got all the details just right.

Beast Boy:
Speak for yourself! I'm way better looking than this. And taller.

Raven:
Someone certainly has a lot of time on their hands.

Starfire:
[giggles] I have never seen such a whimsical device. [voicing puppet Starfire] "Hello, Starfire". [normal voice] Hello, tiny wooden replica of Starfire!

Beast Boy:
[after his puppet kicks Robin's puppet] Dude, my puppet is totally kicking your puppet's butt!

Robin:
Not for long.

[his puppet pushes Beast Boy's puppet and it accidentally hits Cyborg's puppet]

Cyborg:
You wanna piece of me little man?

Robin:
Come on, show me whatcha got, Beast Boy!

[the boys' puppets begin to battle]

Raven:
[annoyed] Boys...

Starfire:
Shall my tiny replica do battle with your tiny replica?

Raven:
[tosses her puppet to her] Knock yourself out.

Starfire:
[voiceover; whispering] The boys! Raven, what are we gonna…?

[Raven, now in Starfire's body, pulls on a string, turning the light on. She stares at Starfire, who is in her own body]

Raven [in Starfire's body]:
Starfire?

Starfire [in Raven's body]:
Raven?! [gasps] You're me! [gasps again as she looks at herself] And I'm you!

Robin:
Tell Slade if he wants this, he can come get it himself!

Robin:
Now talk! Who's Slade? Why does he want this chip? And why are you working...for...him?

Slade:
Excellent work, Robin.

Robin:
Slade!

Slade:
Really, I think your skills are improving.

Robin:
No more games! What do you want?

Slade:
But you do lack patience. If you're really so curious about my intentions, perhaps we should meet face to face.

Robin:
Tell me where you're hiding and I'll be there in a heartbeat!

Slade:
Patience, Robin. Patience.

Starfire:
Robin? I am wondering if you might wish to-

Robin:
[bitterly] No... [then gently] thanks. But I need to figure out why Slade wanted that chip.

Starfire:
Agreed; and perhaps if you were to take a break, the answer would be easier to-

Robin:
I can't. You almost got hurt. Next time could be worse. He's planning something; I have to find out what.

Starfire:
But Robin, I am sure that- [he closes the door in her face, leaving her upset]

Red X:
Rumor has it, you're interested in this.

Slade:
I'm interested in many things, Mr. …

Red X:
X. Red X.

Slade:
Hmmm. Catchy. So, are you proposing a sale or a gift?

Red X:
A partnership. I give you the chip, you cut me in on your plans.

Slade:
Partnership. My, my, we are ambitious. But an alliance cannot be forged from one small chip. If you're going to win my trust, I'll require more.

Red X:
Just tell me what you want.

Slade:
Excellent work. Honestly, I couldn't have done better myself.

Red X:
So, do we have a deal?

Slade:
Indeed. You and I are so very much alike. It seems only natural that we should be partners.

Red X:
What are they for? I need to know what we're planning… partner.

Slade:
Patience. You can't expect me to trust you with such sensitive information right away… can you… Robin?

Slade:
Careful. I wouldn't want you getting hurt.

Robin:
I'm not the one who's going to get hurt. Now hand them over!

Slade:
Robin. I thought we had a deal.

Robin:
Sorry. I have a strict rule against giving stolen technology to psychos.

Slade:
How very noble of you. But stealing in order to trap me? That wasn't so noble. Two wrongs don't make a-

Robin:
Don't ever lecture me! Whatever you're planning, Slade, it's over!

Slade:
On the contrary, Robin, it's just begun.

Robin:
You… saved me?

Slade:
I'm not through with you.

[He hauls Robin back up and tosses him across the rooftop, easily. The brawl starts all over again, until Robin seems to have the upper hand.]

Robin:
This ends now!

[He pulls the man's mask off. It's revealed to be another robot.]

Slade:
Patience, Robin. We'll meet face to face some other time. Oh, and speaking of time…

[The timer is set as the robot was about to self-destruct.]

Beast Boy:
Heh. At least he didn't get the chips.

Cyborg:
Make him laugh!

Starfire:
[to Beast Boy] How many okarins does it take to hogie a morflark? Fimbar!

[She giggles at the joke. Beast Boy continues to drool, unresponsive.]

Starfire:
Um... boogers?

Beast Boy:
[immediately waking up with a laugh] Hahahahaha! Boogers! Oh, man!

Slade:
Dangerous behavior, Robin. You must be very eager to see me. I'm flattered.

Robin:
I'm not here to see you. I'm here to stop you.

Slade:
Hmm. But how can you stop me, when you don't even know what I'm planning?

Robin:
Like this.

Slade:
[On computer screen] Good morning, Teen Titans. I do hope I didn't wake you.

Beast Boy:
[Yawning] What are you, an insomniac? Who calls at five in the morning-? [Raven elbows him in the side to cut him off.]

Robin:
What do you want?

Slade:
Well, that's precisely what you've been trying to find out, isn't it? And in spite of all your efforts, you're still in the dark about my intentions. Disappointing, Robin. I expected a little more from you.

Robin:
Like I care what you-

Slade:
But since you've been unable to discover my plan, I suppose I'll just have to reveal it myself. I'm sure you're all familiar with the concept of a Chronoton Detonator...

Cyborg:
No!

Starfire:
[Gasps]

Raven:
Uh-oh.

Beast Boy:
No way! ...um, what's a crouton detonator?

Starfire:
It eradicates all chronotons within a localized area, utterly destroying the temporal component of the space-time continuum.

Beast Boy:
Hmm?

Raven:
It stops time. Permanently.

[Beast Boy faints.]

Cyborg:
If he triggers that thing downtown, it'll freeze-frame the entire city.

Robin:
Tell me where!

Slade:
You're a clever boy, Robin. I'm sure you and your little friends can figure it out. However, since I control the detonation, time is not on your side.

Slade:
Hurry, young Titans. Your time is running out.

Robin:
[appearing behind Slade] Actually… we just went into overtime.

Slade:
Robin. Welcome. I've been expecting you for some time. I was beginning to wonder if Cinderblock was too much of a challenge. Looking for this? Well… here it is. If you want it, come and take it.

Slade:
Come now, Robin. You'll have to do better than that. I haven't even broken a sweat.

[As Robin is terminated to win, Slade grabs his hand as his counter move]

Slade:
Good technique.

[Slade bends his arm and throws Robin across the room.]

Slade:
Good, but not perfect.

Slade:
I understand your frustration, Robin. You hate losing as much as I do. One of the many qualities we have in common.

[Robin is enraged by this, which gives him the push he needs to knock Slade down, he picks up the remote]

Robin:
It's over, Slade!

Slade:
On the contrary, Robin.

Robin:
Huh?

[It breaks apart in his hand.]

Slade:
This is only the beginning.

Robin:
Where's the real trigger?

Slade:
Trigger? There is no trigger. Because there is no detonator.

[Closing line]

Slade:
I know it seems bad now. But trust me, you'll learn to like it.

Starfire:
Robin? Robin! Please, Robin, where are you?

Raven:
Starfire, enough. You've been calling for forty-five minutes.

Starfire:
Perhaps if I just try one more-

Beast Boy:
Come on, Star. If he's gonna pick up, he'd have done it by now. Besides, you're kinda giving me a headache.

Starfire:
But why does he not respond? Where could he be?

Cyborg:
Robin and Cinderblock definitely went a few rounds, but I can't tell who won, or where they went.

Raven:
No sign of him here, either. His locator is still offline. I've been monitoring all the frequencies, but he hasn't checked in.

Starfire:
Oh, we are bad friends! We should never have left Robin to do battle alone.

Beast Boy:
Yeah, especially since Slade's big doodad was a dud.

Raven:
The Chronoton Detonator wasn't a dud. It was a decoy to lure us away from Robin, and we fell for it.

Cyborg:
[Cyborg groans loudly and slams a fist against the wall.] I shoulda known that thing was a fake!

Starfire:
But why? Why did Slade wish to separate us from Robin?

Beast Boy:
And if the detonator was a decoy…

Raven:
…what was Slade's real plan?

Cyborg:
Titans! Trouble!

Cyborg:
You're not walking outta here, Robin! Not without a fight.

[Robin yells and charges.]

Cyborg:
Titans! Go!

[As the Titans are ready to fight him, Robin dodges their attacks and escape through the air vents to go to the roof]

Slade:
[through earpiece] Not so fast, Robin. You have yet to achieve your objective.

Robin:
The device was too heavily guarded. I'll have to steal it another-

Slade:
NO! Go back. Unless you want me to destroy them, go back and fight.

Cyborg:
Robin! Look, I don't know what's going on, but we don't want to fight. We just want to talk.

[Robin uses a high flying kick that drives Cyborg back past the other three.]

Beast Boy:
Guess there's nothing to talk about.

[Beast Boy tries to take him down, but Robin easily manages to pin him on the 'A' in Wayne Enterprise sign.]

Starfire:
Please-

[He runs pass her to fight the others instead.]

Cyborg:
[aiming his proton cannon] Don't make me…

[He powers it down]

[While Raven and Cyborg tries to subdue Robin, Beast Boy escapes the sign letter as a snake and then turns into a bullhorn sheep and ramps him until it looks like he may be down for the count.]

Beast Boy:
Dude! Are you okay?

[He then kicks BB and hurls him at Cyborg.]

Slade:
Fight to win, Robin. Use the thermal blaster.

Raven:
Azarath, Metrion, ZINTHOS!

[She uses spell lifts up and binds Robin. However, he scales a disc at her and explodes on the sign causing in her face a blinding flash.]

Raven:
I…can’t…see!

[Raven falls to the roof]

Starfire:
No!

[Cyborg is blocking Robin’s punches.]

Cyborg:
Come on, man, don’t make me do this! I don’t want to do this!

[Activates the weapon again. Robin low foot sweeps him, making Cyborg to lose his balance. Robin goes to run off the top of the building, only to be stopped by Starfire raising her starbolt at him.]

Starfire:
Stop! Do. Not. Move.

Slade:
I thought I told you to use that blaster. Attack! Now!

[Robin raises the weapon and points it on Starfire.]

Starfire:
[voice trembling] Robin, you are my best friend. I cannot be in a world where we must fight. If you are truly evil, then go ahead. [She lowers her arm.] Do what you must.

[That hit him like a bowling ball to the chest]

Robin:
[He lowers his arm as well.] Starfire, no! I- [the earpiece screeches feedback in his ear]

Slade:
ROBIN! I gave you an order. If you won’t attack, my probes will.

[He pushes the button. The nano probes slowly begins to kill Starfire. She glows in orange and white with flashing red spots screaming painfully, she is about to fall]

Robin:
[catches her] Starfire!

[He sees that it's also happening to the other Titans too.]

Robin:
Stop! Please stop!

Slade:
Attack, Robin. It’s the only way to save them. Attack with everything you’ve got.

[He carefully puts Starfire down]

Starfire:
[weakly] Robin…

Robin:
[He points the blaster down at her and whispers] I’m sorry. [He fires.]

Slade:
That’s my boy.

Slade:
Good, Robin. You're doing much better than last time. A few more years of training, and you might actually pose a threat.

Slade:
You're going to wish you hadn't done that.

Robin:
I only wish I'd done it sooner. [he rips the S badge off]

Slade:
I have much to teach you. But the first thing you need to learn is gratitude.

[Robin tries for another go at the kill switch, but Slade seizes his arm and bends it back cruelly past the shoulder before dumping him onto his back.]

Slade:
[As he's pinning him down.] I made you my apprentice. All my knowledge, all my power, all for you. But the only thing you care about is your WORTHLESS, LITTLE FRIENDS! [They both get up] If the Titans are so distracting, maybe I should just get rid of them.

[He prepares to finish the Titans off for good.]

Robin:
[defeated] Don't. I'll do whatever you say.

Slade:
Good boy. And, from now on, I'd like you to call me Master.

[A starbolt blasts him away to land right in front of the monitors. Then come the Titans.]

Starfire:
Leave. Him. Alone!

Slade:
Robin! Attack!

Robin:
Get out of here! Go! You don't know what those beams did to-

Beast Boy:
Dude…

Raven:
…We know…

Cyborg:
…And we don't care.

Starfire:
We are your friends, Robin. We are not leaving without you.

Slade:
How very touching. [puts his finger on the button] But Robin doesn't need any friends.

[He presses it, bringing the rapparatus to life; red energy bolts blaze out across the space. The Titans collapse on the ground as Robin, helplessly, watches them while Slade stands behind him.]

Slade:
This is the price for your disobedience, Robin. Now do as I command. Attack!

[As Robin sees Starfire tears running down her cheeks, he looks off in the direction of the device.]

Robin:
No. [He dashes off.]

Slade:
Robin!

[Robin runs towards the device and gets himself infected with nano probes. His name and infected bloodstream appear on a 5th monitor. He starts to glow in pain but manages to rise and walk up to Slade]

Robin:
[painfully] New deal, Slade. If I lose my friends, you lose your apprentice. And I know how you hate to lose.

[Robin falls down on his knees as he continues to die slowly. Because of his ego, Slade finds himself no choice but to destroy the kill switch. Enraged he tries to attack again, but Robin quickly counters his move, leaving him flying across the room.]

Robin:
Titans! Go!

[Beast Boy, now a tiger, is first to do damage with a clawed swipe that pierces the armor. Cyborg and Starfire move in next, starbolts and cannon going full throttle to blast Slade backward. As he tumbles, Raven casts a spell to bind his feet and sling him hard onto the platform. Only now does Robin go on the attack, delivering a flying kick that pastes a boot sole across that masked face. The right half of his mask drops away and skids across the floor, and he now stands up with one big hand covering the exposed portion of his visage. He turns and runs off.]

Slade:
Another day, Robin.

[He has slotted his fingers into holes bored for a better grip, similar to a bowling ball, and he turns it.]

Slade:
Another day.

[The whole lair was set to self-destruct. Slade gets away, and before the Titans can leave, Cyborg grabs the device that contains a solution to get rid of the probs inside them.]

Robin:
Let's go home.

Robin:
Everything okay?

Starfire:
I am sorry.

Robin:
You're sorry? For what?

Starfire:
When things were bad, there was a moment where I truly believed that you were...like Slade. I doubted you. And for that, I am sorry.

Robin:
I doubted myself, Star. Focused, serious, determined...as much as I hate to admit it, he and I are kind of alike. But there's one big difference between me and Slade. [Smiles] He doesn't have any friends.