Teen Titans, Season 3

Beast Boy:
Do I hear an undercover mission coming on, 'cause I'm a master of disguise! [Turns into multiple animals]

Raven:
Yeah, a green mongoose is gonna blend right in.

Jinx:
Don't bother trying to run.

Mammoth:
You won't get far. The whole school is in on it.

Stone:
In on what?

Gizmo:
Whaddaya think, pie-for-brains? [Produces a dress and unicycle] Your initiation!

Stone:
[Relieved] Ha ha! That's it?

Mammoth:
Don't laugh. You have to EAT the unicycle.

Robin:
I created Red X- every system, every weapon. Whoever's inside that suit, he's my responsibility.

Cyborg:
Well if we're gonna catch him, we at least need to figure out what he's after.

Robin:
I already know. Xenothium: the fuel that powers the suit.

Starfire:
[gasps in shock]

Raven:
No!

Beast Boy:
[walking off in a huff] Aw man! I never understand anything!

[as Cyborg berates Robin, a game of tic tac toe is played over them]

Cyborg:
XENOTHIUM?! You powered that suit with xenothium?! Are you crazy, man?! That stuff is dangerous! And unstable! Tell me you were not stupid enough to go messing with it!

Robin:
Like I said, it was a mistake.

Robin:
Thanks for your help, X. But don't think that means you can help yourself.

Red X:
No problem, kid. This [holds up the Xenothium] should keep me going for quite a while.

Robin:
That won't do you much good without this. [He holds up the utility belt. Shocked, Red X looks down and sees his belt isn't on him]

Robin:
Better luck next time.

[Red X backs up to the ledge and almost slips]

Red X:
Not bad, kid. Not bad.

[He throws the Xenothium on the floor, exploding it and jumps and falls]

[The episode begins with Starfire packing all of her things as the Titans watch, confused]

Cyborg:
Uh, Starfire?

Starfire:
Hmm?

Beast Boy:
Going somewhere?

Starfire:
[passing them] I am leaving for Tamaran.

Raven:
And you're taking all your stuff because...?

[Starfire stops packing and gives the foursome a tender, wistful smile]

Starfire:
I am not ever coming back.

[All eyes pop]

Robin, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven:
WHAT?!

Robin:
Starfire, what's wrong?

Starfire:
Nothing is wrong. I am... [Worried pause, then big smile] ...getting married.

Robin, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven:
WHAT?!

[Robin slides to the floor in shock]

Robin:
You're getting married?!

Starfire:
Indeed! And I cannot wait to see Tamaran. I have been having a bit of the sick home feeling lately and am eager to introduce my home planet to you, my friends! First you must ingest some fresh-squeezed blorg, or perhaps splut-wingx! And wait until you see the pordkins. They are as big as a florknock!

Beast Boy:
Um, am I the only one afraid of the pordkins?

Robin:
You're getting married?!

Starfire:
Oh, I have never met him. My betrothed has been chosen for me by the Grand Ruler of Tamaran.

[Starfire looks up to the spaceship´s window and sees Robin on it]

Robin:
You're getting MARRIED?! AND TO SOMEONE YOU'VE NEVER MET?!

[He notices that he's out the ship in Outer space and quickly swims back into the ship to regain oxygen]

Starfire:
Of course Robin, it is the way of my people.

Robin:
But Starfire- [Gets interrupted when the T-ship is zapped]

Beast Boy:
I'm a genius! By simply turning off all those useless security programs and connecting directly to an underground server in eastern Zambia, I, Beast Boy, have gotten my hands on an advance copy of the hottest video game ever: Mega Monkeys Four!

Robin:
Cyborg, there's something wrong with you, please, let us help.

Cyborg:
[Seeing Robin as a steak]You bet there's something wrong. We need gravy! And plenty of it!

[Whilst Robin is tied to a hospital bed and struggles against his restraints]

Starfire:
But must we keep him restrained?

Cyborg:
He threatened us, Star. He's dangerous.

Beast Boy:
Dangerous?! Try totally flipped-out cuckoo-labanza! [sneezes]

Raven:
We got to run some tests on him; figure out what's going on.

Slade:
Alone again, Robin?

[Robin looks around and spots him]

Slade:
As long as I'm around, you're never alone.

Robin:
[Weakly] Slade... stop...

Slade:
[Kicks him] No, Robin. [as the light flickers he vanishes for a second then reappears in the dark] I won't stop. Not now. Not ever. I am the thing that keeps you up at night. [pulls him up towards his face] The evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind. I will never rest... and neither will you.

Robin:
My friends say ... you're not real.

Slade:
Oh, I'm very real.

[Slade throws him down on the floor, the light flickers again, very briefly phasing Slade out completely, Robin is stunned at seeing this]

Slade:
Could you get all of those bruises from someone who wasn't there? You can't even touch me.

Robin:
All these ... bruises... but you don't have a scratch.

[In Robin's mind]

[Slade is disappears every time there's a flash of light]

Starfire:
There was no one there.

Cyborg:
There are no generators; there is no Slade!

Slade:
I am the thing that keeps you up at night. The evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind.

Robin:
E ... every dark corner. You're only my mind, only in the dark. My friends are right, you aren't real.

Slade:
I'm real enough to finish you!

[Before Slade can attack him, Robin switches the lights on and Slade immediately disappears]

Robin:
Light's out, Slade.

[At that moment, Starfire flies down to Robin]

Starfire:
ROBIN!

Robin:
It's okay, Starfire. It's okay...

[Robin collapses in Starfire's arms, as the other Titans arrive at the door]

Beast Boy:
Hey Raven! Um... it's like almost noon and you haven't come out of your room. So, just in case your mad, I'm gonna go ahead and say, I'm sorry for calling you creepy last night. [Hears giggling] Raven? Is everything... [She comes out.] Hi, um... you were... laughing. And I thought I heard... was there someone in there?

Raven:
Just me and a really good book.

Beast Boy:
[Knocks on Raven's door] Raven, it's me. Look I'm sorry.

Raven:
For what? You're not the one who...

Beast Boy:
No. I'm sorry that he broke your heart.

Raven:
I know it was all a lie. He was the only person who ever made me feel like I wasn't...creepy. And don't try to tell me I'm not.

Beast Boy:
Okay. Fine. You're way creepy. But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room. You think you're alone, Raven, but you're not.

Cyborg:
The burgers are cheesed, the dogs are hot, and the fireworks are about to begin. Man, I love the 4th of July!

Starfire:
Please. This is a celebration of the month July, or of the number 4?

Robin:
Neither. It's Independence Day, sorta like America's birthday.

Starfire:
Oh! Should we then bake the America a cake? [Robin prepares to answer]

Beast Boy:
[cuts him off] No cake, and no tea! See, it all started back in 1492 with this tea party, in Boston. King George, or maybe it was King Norm; anyway, the British were trying to make the colonists drink all this tea. But they were like, 'Dude! No way! We're sick of nasty old tea and your crummy English muffins!' So they decided, 'Revolution'!

Raven:
Where'd you learn history? A cereal box?

Beast Boy:
What's your point?

Raven:
[to Starfire] Make him laugh!

Starfire:
[holding a hypnotized Beast Boy] uh... ooh! [makes farting sound with her armpit]

Beast Boy:
Ha ha ha ha! [British accent] Smashing, luv! [fixes his hair] Jolly good laugh- [eyes widen and screams] Oh, dear! I'm a Tommy! A Limey! A Brit!

Cyborg:
Yo, Brit Boy! We could use a hand!

Beast Boy:
[British accent] Right, then. Have at you!

Mad Mod:
[thinking he's won again] What a surprise, my duckies. Your little plan didn't work. Say, where's the green one? Run away, did?

Starfire:
The green one...IS OUR PLAN! Beast Boy, GO!

[Beast Boy morphs into a flying squirrel and scurries through Mad Mod's shirt; Cyborg rocket arm grabs the cane and flies straight into the air]

Mad Mod:
FIRE!

[The robot soldier fires at the robotic arm, releasing the cane. Mad Mod rushes to retrieve it, but before he can, Robin grabs it before he does]

Mad Mod:
Now, now, old bean. Let's not do anything hasty.

[But Robin hits the button on the cane restoring his youth making Mad Mod old again, thus breaking the cane]

Mad Mod:
[Gasps] NO!

[The robots shut down releasing the Titans and the city goes back to normal]

Mad Mod:
Eh, hello gov'na.

Robin:
Just like old times, huh?

Starfire:
[whilst attacking Robin with a hug] Robin! You are unwrinkled!

Cyborg:
And Blood couldn't brainwash you because...?

Bumblebee:
There's not a man alive that can tell me what to do.

Bumblebee:
[approaching, holding up a CD-ROM] I lifted your blueprints from the HIVE mainframe, so Blood can't ever use 'em again.

Cyborg:
[grabbing at it] Gimme that!

Bumblebee:
Uh-uh. If you go down, I might need this to complete the mission.

Cyborg:
Please. They're not just plans. They're me-everything I am. My body, my brain, my feelings-

Bumblebee:
Relax. I only read the sonic cannon stuff...and a few memory files about the big crush you had on Jinx.

Adonis:
You wimps think you can take down Adonis? Bring it on.

Beast Boy:
Dude, it is totally brunged... branged.

Raven:
Ooh, bad grammer that oughta scare him.

[Raven is walking down a corridor reading a book. Beast Boy "accidentally" bumps into her, causing her to drop her book.]

Raven:
Sorry.

Beast Boy:
You'd better be! Why don't you look where you're going?

Raven:
On second thought, I'm not sorry. And you're a jerk.

Beast Boy:
[whilst walking right up to her] Y'know, Raven, I've been a really nice guy for a really long time. I've put up with your insults and your attitude, and I've had it! Consider this a warning: As of last night, Mr. Nice-Guy has left the building.

Raven:
Is this the part where I'm supposed to be intimidated?

Beast Boy:
No - this is!

[He changes into a huge beast]

Robin:
[from o.c.] Beast Boy!

[The other Titans appear.]

Robin:
Leave her alone!

Cyborg:
What's got into you, man?

Starfire:
You are behaving like a royal zarbnarf!

[Beast Boy resumes human form, and walks right in front of Raven with a glare on his face. Then he walks towards to the others]

Beast Boy:
Look, this is who I am now! You guys don't like it? Tough!

Robin:
Fine! If this is how you wanna act, do it somewhere else! None of us are interested!

[Beast Boy breathes angrily at Robin, then attempts to fight]

Beast Boy:
[scoffs] That's what I thought.

Beast Boy:
Ugh, I can't believe I ate meat. I acted like a jerk. I'm sorry.

Raven:
You weren't yourself.

Beast Boy:
Cyborg said the chemicals at the lab affected my DNA. Unleashed something... primal.

Raven:
And he gave you an antidote. You're better now.

Beast Boy:
Yeah. But that thing - that beast - it came from inside me. And it's still there. I can feel it.

Raven:
Good.

[Beast Boy turns to Raven in confusion. She goes to sit down beside him.]

Raven:
If it wasn't for that beast, I might not be here right now. Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man.

Beast Boy:
Hmm. Maybe you should call me "Beast Man" from now on?

[He strikes a pose over a boulder that reads "Beast Man" with a cheesy grin.]

Raven:
We're having a moment here. Don't ruin it.

[Beast Boy quickly sits back down in embarrassment.]

Beast Boy:
Beast... Dude?

[Raven groans]

Killer Moth:
I must say, you took excellent care of M-319. What have you been feeding him?

Starfire:
[beckoning to Silkie] Here, Silkie, Silkie... here, my sweet little mutant.

Killer Moth:
Um... here, Larva M-319... come to... papa?

Starfire:
[sweetly] Oh, Silkie, Starfire has a big hug for you!

Killer Moth:
Hey, big fella. Did Killer Moth create you in a lab? Yes, he did; yes, he did!

Raven:
If you're really so amazing Mumbo, what do you need me for?

Mumbo:
You're going to be my assistant for the big show tonight!

Raven:
I'm not helping you with your stupid magic tricks.

Mumbo:
Silly rabbit! You don't have a choice! My hat, my rules!

Mumbo:
Must you overanalyze everything? Why can't you just sit back and enjoy the show?

Raven:
Because it isn't real. Your act, this hat. It's all smoke and mirrors. You probably just hypnotized me into thinking I'm a rabbit. And when I get home, my nose will twitch every time a bell rings.

Mumbo:
Hmm. That would be an interesting trick, but no.

Raven:
As soon as I figure out how you're creating this illusion, your powers will be gone.

Mumbo:
Knowing how the tricks work doesn't make them any less real. If you look like a rabbit and hop like a rabbit, then guess what, kid? You're really a rabbit!

Raven:
[Mumbo plucks off one of Raven's whiskers] Ow!

Mumbo:
For real!

Cyborg:
When there's trouble you know what to do/CALL CYBORG!/He can shoot a rocket from his shoe/'CAUSE HE'S CYBORG!/Do do do-do something like that/OH YEAH/Na na na na big fluffy cat/THAT'S RIGHT!...

Aqualad:
If you're going to eat my friends, at least have the decency to get rid of the evidence!

Robin:
[To Cyborg] Believe me, I know a thing or two about being obsessed with your target.

Brother Blood:
I've combed through your blueprints, peeled back your armor, stripped off your machinery! But still you defy me! Where in this vile contraption is the part that allows you to RESIST?

Cyborg:
It's not in the circuitry, is it? It's not the machine that resists you... It's me, my spirit! That's the part you can't break! I don't need you to make me a man. I already am one!