The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends, Season 1

Narrator:
And if that weren't bad enough, when the boys were on their way home, the two spies, Boris and Natasha, received their latest instructions.

Boris:
Don't tell me. Let me guess. I'll bet it says, "Keel Moose", right?

Natasha:
[reading the secret instructions as they are revealed] Right.

Boris:
Okay!

[Boris cuts a rope, dropping a safe out a hotel window toward an unsuspecting Bullwinkle and Rocky below]

Natasha:
... But in front are two more words: "Do Not".

Boris:
[reading the full message] "Do Not Keel Moose"... Oh, Boris, you impetuous boy. What have you done?

Natasha:
Better yet, what will you do?

Boris:
Save him! I've got to save him!

[Boris rushes down several flights of stairs as the safe continues to fall]

Narrator:
Boris raced to beat the heavy safe to the ground, and he won!

[the safe lands on top of Boris just outside the hotel entrance, driving him into the ground with a crash]

Narrator:
... Almost. The heavy safe drove him into the ground like a tent stake! Bullwinkle's keen mind knew instantly what had happened.

Bullwinkle:
Hey, up there! You dropped your safe!

Natasha:
Boris, darling, you're alive!

Boris:
[opening his coat to look at the audience] This is living?

Boris:
Now, Mister Moose, tell me everything you know.

Narrator:
So Bullwinkle told them everything he knew. All about his early days in the Minnesota woods, his days at the Philpott School for Exceptional Children, and he was exceptional, being the only student with antlers. His experience in the army where he served three years as a hat rack in the Officers' Club. On and on he went, without stopping for twelve hours. But true to their promise, Boris and Natasha didn't hear a word. [The spies are now sleeping on the couch, and Boris is snoring loudly] The steady drone had long since sent them to dreamland. [Pan to Rocky dozing on a wooden chair] Unfortunately, it had done the same thing to Rocky. And so, when Bullwinkle finally got to Grandma's recipe, the only people who heard it weren't people at all, but the two moon men!

Boris:
[waking up and not noticing Bullwinkle's gone] Go on, go on, I didn't miss a wor... Where did he go?

Rocky:
(being fired at by American anti-aircraft weapons) Hokey smoke! They think I’m an enemy! (shouts towards the shooters) Hey! Cut it out! I’m friendly! Look I’m smiling! (to himself) Oh, if there was just some way I could tell them who I am!

Narrator:
Then the brainy squirrel got an idea and began to fly in a special pattern.

Soldier:
Look General! The object is spelling something out!

Narrator:
Sure enough, the wily Rocky was using the smoke from the ack-ack bursts to spell out letters – a kind of polka dot skywriting.

Soldier:
What’s it say, General?

General Broad Beam:
(reading the letters through binoculars) U…S… (shouts to his troops) Cease firing! Don’t harm a hair on his head! That is a US taxpayer! We need every one of them we can get!

Narrator:
So Rocky continued gliding toward the shore, this time with an honour escort of jet planes.

Fearless Leader:
If the Moose dies..the Plan dies...

Borris:
SO?

Fearless Leader:
If the Plan dies..Pottyslvania dies...

Borris:
SO?

Fearless Leader:
If Pottyslvania dies. YOU DIE...