The Amazing World of Gumball, Season 2

Mrs. Jötunheim:
What have you done to my son?!

Gumball:
Improved his life?

Mrs. Jötunheim:
What's the one thing you know about giants?!

Gumball:
...That they're big?

Mrs. Jötunheim:
Yes, and so are their emotions! I wasn't making his life boring, I was making his life calm! You have to keep giants calm!

Gumball:
Why?

Mrs. Jötunheim:
Because if you don't, then that happens!

[In the distance, Hector is attacking the town and causing destruction]

Hector:
IS THIS BORING, OR THIS?! DO YOU THINK THIS IS BORING?! CALL ME BORING NOW! [Swipes down the Robinson's house] IS THIS BORING?!

[Margaret is in shock about the house]

Gaylord:
[Reading newspaper] Close the window, Margaret.

Donut Cop:
Freeze! Police!

[Hector squashes the police car]

Donut Cop:
Well, uhh, I think I'll-uh call it a day. [Runs off on foot]

[Hector approaches the senior citizens and yells]

Hector:
I'M NOT BOOOORIIIINGGG!

[The senior citizens, except for Louie, are blown away]

Louie:
What did he say?

[Back at Hector's Cave]'

Darwin:
Gumball, what do we do? We have to stop him!

Gumball:
[Notices brooms in the cave] I got it! [Grabs a broom] We'll just fly after him using one of your witch brooms! [Attempts to "fly," but falls flat on his face]

Mrs. Jötunheim:
That's a normal broomstick. I'm a cleaning lady.

Gumball:
[Face down on the ground] Oh.

Mrs. Jötunheim:
[Takes off her hair clip] The witchy ones are over there.

Gumball:
[Quietly] I knew it.

(At school, Gumball has bags over his eyes, with Darwin watching worriedly)

Darwin:
...Dude, when was the last time you slept?

Gumball:
Don't even ask, man! Mom had me up at 4:00 in the morning, teaching me how to be a winner for that STUPID FRIDGE CHART!!

Darwin:
STUPID?! What's stupid about reaching for the stars?!

(A whistle blows.)

Darwin:
Dodgeball! (Hits Gumball) BOOM! One point! BOOM! Two points!

(Darwin continues throwing the ball at Gumball repeatedly.)

(At the lunchroom...)

Gumball:
See? There's nothing going on. They're just having lunch and chatting.

Darwin:
What do you think they're saying?

Gumball:
(evilly) "So, how do you like my STUPID PINK PETALS and my FAT YELLOW FACE?" "Oh, I'm so pleased you like it." "I use it to STEAL GIRLS FROM PEOPLE!!!"

Carrie:
What's going on here?

Darwin:
Gumball's jealous of Leslie.

Carrie:
(laughs) Leslie? Why?

Gumball:
BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO STEAL MY GIIIRRL!!!!!

Gumball:
Oh, look! A bench in the shade. (chuckles)

(The two sit on the bench and sigh vividly.)

Leslie:
You know, after today, I never thought you and me would become friends.

Gumball:
Well, you know, life is just full of...SURPRISE!!

(Gumball pulls a rope, dropping maggots all over Leslie.)

Gumball:
Oh, I see you've met my hungry little friends.

Leslie:
I CAN'T MOVE!!

Gumball:
That's right - I glued you to the bench! (cackles) I guess we won't be...INSECT-ING you at school tomorrow! HAHAHA-- No, no, I can do better. (inhales) We'll see how pretty you look after this, LARVAE-BOY! HAHA-- No, still not good. (inhales) That'll teach you for being a...creepy-crawly--ah, you get the point.

(Gumball walks away, leaving Leslie screaming in anguish.)

Banana Joe:
HEY! Turn around, you cowards.

Gumball:
[Laughs] No, thank you!

Banana Joe:
Turn around and face the can of butt-whooping that I'm gonna open on you!

Darwin:
Wouldn't it be better to stay like we are for that?

Banana Joe:
TURN AROUND!

(Gumball and Darwin have a silent debate of whether or not to face the consequences. Their conversation goes on for a few seconds before....)

Gumball:
[Inhales] Okay. [He and Darwin turn around]

[Banana Joe screams as he charges towards Gumball and Darwin, but slips on a water puddle, rushes under them and hits a water fountain, face first. He groans as he slowly becomes unconscious and a bruise covers his face]

Gumball:
Oh, that's just great! Now, people are gonna come around the corner, see him like that, and think we're massive bullies!

Darwin:
(kneels down, crying) Which we are! Because of us, he lost an eye, and we attacked him with a mirror! We punctured his tube of glue, we chewed everything in his locker, he got a huge brown banana bruise on his little face, and we managed to ruin the most precious thing his family ever owned!

(They both cry in guilt)

Gumball:
He did chew that pen, though.

Gumball:
[Sighs] Darwin, we need to talk.

Darwin:
Uhh yeah.

Gumball:
You know, I love you man.

Darwin:
Uh huh.

Gumball:
But... I think you have a problem with that phone!

Darwin:
Yeah.

Gumball:
So I've arranged for your butt to be surgically grafted onto your face.

Darwin:
Yeah, yeah sure great.

Gumball:
YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING!

Darwin:
Why don't you text me?

Ocho's Mom:
Ow! Ocho, what are you doing? You're not fighting again, I hope.

Ocho:
Oh gosh, did I get a little too intense again?

Gumball:
Psh! Nah. Totally normal level of intensity.

Ocho:
Are you sure?

Gumball and Darwin:
Yeeah.

Ocho:
[Gets angrier] Are you sure?!

Gumball:
Hoo! Yes. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.

Darwin:
Yes.

Ocho:
[Demonic voice] ARE YOU SURE?!!

Gumball:
Ye-e-e-es! Please go home now!

Ocho's Mom:
Oh, that's good. He can get a little carried away at times. Come on, Ocho! Dinner's ready.

Ocho:
See you tomorrow guys!

[Ocho moves towards his mother, and a tractor beam pulls him up.]

Ocho:
Can I sit in the front, Mom?

(The episode opens on Nicole, who is whimpering in her sleep in the front lawn. Anais touches her face to wake her up.)

Anais:
Mom, wake up!

Nicole:
AHH!

Gumball:
Mom, are you alright?

Nicole:
Oh, I just had the weirdest dream. I was out on the front lawn and your father had a job as a pizza delivery guy.

Richard:
(Offscreen, then shown in a delivery boy outfit) That wasn't a dream. That's what I just told you---and you fainted! (chuckles)

(Back at the house..)

Nicole:
Your father has a job. Your father has...a job.

(Anais is holding Nicole's hand to comfort her, but the woman suddenly jumps up to her.)

Nicole:
Something's gonna go terribly wrong, isn't it?!?

Anais:
No, this is a good thing. We can finally buy all the things we need.

Nicole:
What do you mean? We got everything we need.

Anais:
(picks up a family photo) Mom, we've all been wearing the same clothes for the past year, you three don't even have any shoes, (whispers) and I think it's about time Darwin wore some pants.

(Back at the house, Nicole is huddled in a blanket, hyperventilating while Anais sits beside her, comforting her.)

Anais:
Mom, when you say "Dad having a job has upset the fundamental balance of the universe," are you sure you don't just mean he's changed the balance of power in the house, and that upsets you because you're a little bit of a control freak?

Nicole:
No. Maybe.... I don't know anymore!

(Gumball and Darwin enter the house)

Nicole:
Boys! What's going on with your father?! Has something terrible happened?!

Gumball:
Well, he dropped a few pizzas, so we delivered 'em. That's about it.

Nicole:
Maybe I should just forget about all this...

Gumball:
You know, that good stuff's got me thinking, what else is cheap in this house?

[Gumball, Darwin, and Anais walk into the living room]

Gumball:
I mean, look at this MP3 player. Now tell me it's not a calculator with headphones stuck in it. [Grabs a copy of "HOW TO RATATWANG YOUR PANDA"] And that DVD is not even the real film. It's some mockbuster from the bargain bin.

Richard:
What's wrong with "How to Ratatwang Your Panda"?

[On the TV Screen, a section of the film plays, taking place in a dojo]

Good CGI Mouse:
Get ready, panda, use your secret weapon.

Chuck the Panda:
Okay, you asked for it. [Does a massive fart in the other mice's face]

Bad CGI Mice:
Oh, boy!

[Cuts back to the couch]

Richard:
HAHAHAHAHA! HEHAHA! [Sighs] Clever.

Gumball:
And look at this "blender". You really call this top-of-the-line?

[Gumball turns on the blender, actually a fan blade above a bowl, and puts an orange in it, causing its juice to fly onto the ceiling]

Gumball:
Why can't we have the good stuff?

Anais:
More importantly, what's mom hiding?

[The home phone rings, and Anais answers]

Anais:
Hello?

Spooky Voice:
For your own safety, stop digging around. There's nothing to find.

Anais:
Okay, but if we were going to start digging, where should we look?

Spooky Voice:
Definitely not the attic. Ah! No, wait--! Oh, darn--.

[The voice hangs up as Anais cleverly laughs]

Darwin:
[Still whispering to Principal Brown] Maybe you should say something.

Principal Brown:
[Suddenly stops spitting] Yes, I suppose.

[Principal Brown walks to Miss Simian, and whispers something into her ear]

Ms. Simian:
[Gasps whilst pulling her dress down] You knew about this, and you thought it was funny, didn't you?!

[Gumball and Darwin simultaneously shake their heads]

Ms. Simian:
YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!

Principal Brown:
Lucy, please. I think you owe them an apology.

Ms. Simian:
Don't you "Lucy" me, Nigel! These kids tried to make a monkey out of me, and you want me to apologize?!

Principal Brown:
Uh, you kids are free to go.

[Gumball and Darwin leave]

[Miss Simian goes "ape" and throws furniture around, while making monkey sounds. Gumball and Darwin listen to Miss Simian's rampage outside Brown's office]

Gumball:
Hmm. There's one thing I don't understand.

Darwin:
Yeah, why did she go ape when we just tried to help her?

Gumball:
No, why do monkeys have hair all over their bodies, except for the ugly part where they need it the most?

Darwin:
Dude, I need you to grab the emergency hammer.

Gumball:
I'm not breaking the window.

Darwin:
No, I need you to knock me out.

Gumball:
How about you just ask Sussie to calm down a little?

Darwin:
[Whimpers again] I can't...

Gumball:
What the... [Pauses video game] You're embarrassed, aren't you?

Darwin:
Just use the hammer...

Gumball:
[Laughs] Darwin Watterson, the fish who grew legs at the expense of his guts!

Darwin:
Shut up!

Sussie:
HEY, DARWIN!

[Darwin squeezes his head back out]

Sussie:
Which noise do you prefer? ALALALALALALALALALALALALA! or AKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!

Gumball:
[Sticks head on top of Sussie and Darwin's seat] Excuse me, Sussie, but can you be a little quieter, please?

Sussie:
Certainly, young Gumball, I'd be more than happy to oblige!

Gumball:
Thank you.

Darwin:
[Gapes before sticking his head up and motions taking his hat off]

Gumball:
What's that?

Darwin:
That was me, taking my hat off to you.

Sussie:
[Whispers] Hats!

Darwin:
Was it...REALLY necessary...to take me over the sandbox?

Gumball:
I didn't want to do this, man, but it's the only way! You need to learn that words can hurt.

Game Voice:
Round 1! Fight!

Darwin:
[charging a power blast] Your head is so big that you have to put your shirt on feet first! [Shoots energy balls at Gumball] Big head! Big head! Big head! Big head!

Gumball:
Ow! Stop It!

Darwin:
[Shoots an energy ball] Big head!

Gumball:
That's cheating!

Darwin:
[Shoots an energy ball] Big head!

Gumball:
You keep using the same move!

Darwin:
[Shoots an energy ball] Big head!

[Gumball echoes and collapses]

Game Voice:
Darwin wins! Perfect! Round Two! Fight!

Gumball:
You're so ugly that when you entered an ugly contest, the judges said "no professionals"! [Shoots an energy ball]

Darwin:
You're so dumb you put stamps on your e-mails! [Shoots an energy ball]

Gumball:
You're so short that your head smells like feet! [Shoots an energy ball]

Darwin:
Your brain's so small that your thoughts have an echo! [Shoots an energy ball]

Gumball:
Your cheeks are so big that people don't know which end of you they're looking at! [Shoots an energy ball]

[Camera cuts to reality, Tobias, Banana Joe, Anton and Bobert cheers looking unamazed while Gumball and Darwin are still pretending to be in the game]

Gumball:
Pshoo! Cling! Pew!

Darwin:
Ahh!

Gumball:
Your face is so greasy that people put on weight when they look at you! [Shoots an "energy ball"]

Tobias​​​​​​​:
Nyeh, it's not as good as I thought it'd be.

[Tobias, Banana Joe, Anton and Bobert leave, still making cheering motions. Camera cuts back to the game]

Gumball:
You're so bald that when you take a shower, you get brainwashed!

Darwin:
You're so-- Ah! I got nothing!

[Gumball shoots an energy ball that dazes Darwin. He immediately closes in for the finish.]

Gumball:
You're so chubby, the back of your head looks like a pack of wieners.

[Gumball takes Round 2 with a Street Fighter-esque uppercut move. He then performs a victory pose]

Game Voice:
FINAL ROUND!

Gumball:
Wait a minute. Pause! [pauses the "game"]

Clayton:
[Panicking] GUYS, GUYS, GUYS! [Gumball and Darwin stare at him angry] The skull guy, he's real, HE'S REAL!

Gumball:
[Sarcastically] Yeah, sure. The skull guy that I made up actually exists. Oh, don't tell me. He's seven feet tall, covered in tattoos, and he's about to burst into those very-

[Razor burst and breaking into the doors with his guitar growling looking at Gumball, Darwin and Clayton]

Gumball:
[Surprised] doors.

Clayton:
[Determined] You know what time it is?

Gumball:
[Scared] Time to change my pants?

Clayton:
No, it's TIME TO KICK SOME BUTT!

(Gumball dials the tech support hotline.)

Receptionist:
Hello, and thank you for calling our technical support.

Gumball:
Hi! I have a problem with--

Receptionist:
To book an appointment with one of our technicians, press one. For extra help and advi-

Gumball:
DAGNABBIT, YOU STUPID ANSWERING MACHINE!! I WANTED TO SPEAK TO--

Receptionist:
Well, excuse you, sir. If you did this job all day, you, too, would end up talking like a machine.

Gumball:
Ugh, I HATE IT! This watch is wonder-weak, it doesn't even tell the time! What the derp does V past X supposed to mean?

Darwin:
Did you get that from dad?

Gumball:
Yeah. Why do you ask?

Darwin:
He offered it to me first. He told me this really long, boring story full of people I didn't care about, then I said "No! I don't want no busted-up cowboy junk!"

[beat]

Gumball:
(gives Darwin the watch) Can you hold this? I need to tie my shoelace.

Darwin:
Okay. (realizes the error) Wait, you don't wear shoes!

[Gumball emerges on the seat behind Darwin]

Gumball:
He who holds it owns it.

[Darwin groans. At school...]

Darwin:
Alright, alright. I'll keep it. But on one condition: at any point if dad offers us a better present, I get dibs. Deal?

Gumball:
(shakes Darwin's hand) Deal.

Darwin:
(smirking) Now check your hand.

Gumball:
What? This one...(shows his empty hand) or this one? (whispering) Now check yours.

[Darwin checks his hand--still holding the watch!]

Darwin:
WHAT?!?! (looks at the hallway) DOUBLE WHAT?!?!

[At the other end of the hall, Gumball is flashing his hands around to taunt Darwin before leaving.]

Darwin:
I gave it to an old man.

Gumball:
WHAT?!

Darwin:
I said "I GAVE IT TO AN OLD MAN!"

Gumball:
(whispering) Shh! I heard you the first time! It's just that you (yelling) DON'T GIVE AWAY FAMILY HEIRLOOMS TO SOME RANDOM GUY!

Darwin:
I thought we were trying to get rid of it.

Gumball:
(sighs) What's dad gonna say?

Darwin:
(gasps) Is he gonna cry? Because if he's gonna cry, I'll cry...

Gumball:
(hugging Darwin) Aw, come here, bubble cheeks. It was my fault as well.

Darwin:
(whispering) So, since it's obviously your fault, you're gonna get it back, right?

Gumball:
(whispering) Well, I wouldn't have if you weren't such a slack-jawed goober and gave it to him.

Darwin:
But this wouldn't have happened if you weren't such an ungrateful jerk in the first place.

Gumball:
You do it.

Darwin:
No, you do it!

Gumball:
No, you do it!

Richard:
(whispering) What are you guys talking about?

(The boys see Richard joining their hug.)

Gumball:
Uh, how much we love the watch.

Richard:
(whispering) I love you guys.

[In the Wattersons' kitchen, nothing happens in the scene for a while, until Gumball pops out from the sink]

Gumball:
[Gasps for air] I can't hide like this anymore, we're just gonna have to tell Dad the truth.

[Darwin pops out of a Super Golden Flakes cereal box]

Darwin:
Oh sure, great plan. So how do you want to do it? You can start by rejecting his love, while I sucker punch him with the lack of respect that we have for his entire family heritage or, if you prefer, I'll just rip out his heart while you TEAR HIS SOUL IN HALF!

Gumball:
Get out of your box, you just gave me an idea.

[At home, Gumball, Darwin and Richard watch an antique shop show on TV]

Antique Vendor:
This coffee table is worth $100!

Buyer:
Wow!

Antique Vendor:
However, this coffee stain brings the value down to about $10.

[The Watterson boys laugh at this, but their attention is brought to the next item]

Antique Vendor:
Now, this pocket watch is a very special piece. Only two were ever made, so I think it's worth approximately...$700.

[The Buyer gapes, and so does Gumball, Darwin and Richard]

Granny Jojo:
If you think I'm letting you send them out into danger, you got another thing coming!

Nicole:
Well, if you think I'm gonna let you mess with my family anymore, you got this chair coming!

[Nicole takes the chair and hits Granny Jojo but the chair bounces off]

Nicole:
What the?!

Granny Jojo:
Good luck trying to stop me, Nicole. I've safe-proofed this whole house.

[Nicole throws a flower pot at Granny Jojo but it bounces off again]

Granny Jojo:
Everything breakable is now plastic.

[Nicole takes a lamp and hits Granny Jojo but it bounces off]

Granny Jojo:
Everything else is rubber.

[Nicole takes a painting and hits Granny Jojo but the paper tears and goes through Granny Jojo]

Granny Jojo:
Apart from that, which was paper. A good mother prevents accidents before they happen.

[Scene changes to a fire background with Nicole's eyes burning with anger]

Nicole:
I AM A GOOD MOTHER!

[Nicole pounces on Granny Jojo and starts pulling her ear and uses her hand to slap her face]

Nicole:
Say it!

Granny Jojo:
No!

Nicole:
Say it!

Granny Jojo:
No!

Nicole:
SAY I AM A GOOD MOTHER!

[Scene changes back to Richard and the trio who are still squeezing out of the door, then Anais pops out and hits the car]

Anais':
[Puts her finger on his lips] Hmmmm...

[Scene changes back to Nicole who is still slapping Granny Jojo until they hear the car's engine starting]

[Scene changes to the street as Nicole and Granny Jojo watch Richard drive off]

Granny Jojo:
NOOOOOO! You've sent them to a highway of eternal doom in a chariot of pain and despair! MY BABIES! MY BABIES!!

Nicole:
Oh please, Richard is perfectly capable of driving to the store.

[Richard runs a red light, causing a major traffic accident]

Nicole:
[Shocked] I'll get the car.

[The episode opens at the video store, where Gumball is trying to rent a movie, but, inexplicably, an invisible barrier is standing in his way as he struggles to put the film on the counter.]

Larry:
What's wrong with you this time?

Gumball:
(straining) This movie is so sucky, my body refuses to rent it.

Larry:
Then don't rent it and get out of here.

Gumball:
NO! I promised my sister!

Darwin:
(takes the movie from Gumball) Here, let me try.

[Darwin runs to the counter, but the barrier emits a powerful force that knocks him back, causing him to fall backfirst.]

Darwin:
You're right. This movie's so bad that every atom in my body refuses to pay to see it.

Carrie:
(views the film's cover) Oh, come on. It can't be that bad. (gasps) A Pony's Tail?

Carrie:
You know, there are less painful ways to hurt your eyes. You could pour salt in them while staring at the sun, for example.

Gumball:
I'm sorry, Carrie, but we promised Anais we'd do something she wanted today.

Darwin:
We never realized how unbearable it'd be, and we haven't even watched it.

Gumball:
Come on, we're already late!

Gumball:
Carrie! (checks Carrie, then speaks to Darwin, quietly) I think her horror movie brain got traumatized by an overload of pony cuteness.

Carrie:
I THOUGHT I WAS A HARDCORE HORROR MOVIE FAN, BUT I WAS LIVING A LIE! (grabs Gumball by his shirt) Tell me, is it wrong for a punk-rock chick who lives in a haunted, malevolent mansion to be touched by the magical friendship of a pony?

Gumball:
Uh...no. But could you tell your pet to stop rubbing itself on my leg, 'cause that's kinda wrong.

[Below, a translucent, disembodied hand rubs Gumball's leg.]

Carrie:
That's not a pet. That's my grandma.

[Gumball makes a confused face.]

Carrie:
What?

Gumball:
What does she eat?

Carrie:
I don't know. She kinda bites her nails sometimes.

Darwin:
WE ARE NOT HERE TO DISCUSS CARRIE'S FREAK SHOW OF A FAMILY! WHERE IS THE DVD?!

Carrie:
Uh, it's in the DVD player.

Darwin:
Really? After all that's happened today, I didn't think it'd be that easy as pushing a button to-

[When Darwin presses the eject button, the DVD flies out of the window.]

Darwin:
Yeah. That makes more sense.

Gumball:
Anais! Come on! You've been in there forever!

[Anais peeks from behind the door]

Anais:
Oh, I'm sorry. But as Mom pays the water bill and you two are insensitive brats, I think you'll need to shower somewhere else. [She closes the door]

Gumball:
[Mockingly] As Mom pays the water bill, I think you should shower somewhere else.

Anais:
[From behind the door] You can say what you like, but you're not going to annoy me!

Gumball:
[Mockingly] You can say what you like, but you're not going-- [A soap bar flies from behind the door, hitting Gumball squarely in the face. His nose swells up] Ow! My...nose!

Anais:
[Mockingly] Ow! My dose!

Gumball:
[Growls, then chuckles] Who's the loser now? We got soap. All we need is water.

[Outside the Watterson house. The boys are on the street, in front of a puddle. They are lathering up with soap]

Darwin:
Dude, I think I'm starting to regret this challenge.

Gumball:
It's coming! [A truck passes by, splashing mud onto the boys] Ugh. I think I should've closed my mou-- [Another vehicle passes by, and the boys are splashed again]

Darwin:
So, you ready to apologize now?

Gumball:
Nope.

Rocky:
[Holding his nose] Uh, boys? I'm gonna have to ask you to get off the bus.

Gumball:
Why?

Rocky:
'Cause the suspension can't take it anymore.

[The rest of the students are at the rear of the bus, away from Gumball and Darwin. It itself is tipping over. The boys jump onto the street]

Gumball:
Okay, I guess I'm ready now. [Scene cuts to the Wattersons' backyard] Ugh! I can't believe we're apologizing.

Darwin:
I don't care. I'm not eating canned rats again.

[Gumball is seen walking down the school hallway. A giant Ocho, a melting Tobias, and a tiny Hector are also shown in the background]

Mister Small​​​:
[On the phone] Okay, bye then.

[Mr. Small puts down the receiver, along with his head, and starts moonwalking. Gumball opens his locker, then a flood of water comes out of it. When it stops, a pineapple comes out of it and gets caught in Gumball's hands. Richard suddenly appears; only he has become a centaur, and starts talking to Gumball in a garbled language with the only real words being "of" (possibly) and "America"]

Gumball:
No problem, Mr. President! I'll have it on your desk by the year 2025!

[Richard salutes and slides off, leaving a rainbow-colored trail. Gumball turns to see Penny and the background changes to a space background. He dances towards her as she sings. Suddenly, Darwin appears next to Penny, who stops singing. Gumball is shocked and continues dancing nervously as Darwin dances with Penny and finally kisses her. The pineapple in his hands bursts]

[The episode starts in a candy wonderland game where Darwin is collecting sweets. Then, he gets a power-up, and grows wings, but, he cannot fly over a wall ahead. The scene changes back to reality as Darwin is using badminton rackets as wings, and tries to "fly" over the "wall," which is actually the shed, but fails repeatedly]

Gumball:
[Furiously pressing buttons on a controller] Why aren't you flying? I'm pressing the right buttons!

Darwin:
Because, no matter how loud you shout, I still can't break the laws of physics!

Gumball:
Then break the laws of biology! You managed to grow legs, just put some effort in, and grow some wings!

Darwin:
Well, maybe you should be better at controlling me! [He angrily throws the rackets onto the ground]

Gumball:
How's this for better?

Gumball:
Because your face is a muscle. The more you train it, the more awesome it looks.

Richard:
And the police said I have to wear this thing for...

[Changes to Mr. Robinson's house]

Gaylord:
Six weeks. And I can't leave the house or it...

[Back to Wattersons' house]

Richard:
Sets off an alarm and I'll be...

[Back to Robinson's house]

Gaylord:
Sent to prison. And it was all...

Richard and Gaylord:
HIS FAULT!

Gumball:
Dad, could you explain that again, this time using full sentences?

Richard:
I'd love to, but I'm too busy...

Gaylord:
[off scene] Plotting my revenge!

[All the Wattersons hear Mr. Robinson shouting]

Darwin:
Hmm... I see what is happening here.

Richard:
Boys, I need you to sneak into Mr. Robinson's house. There's this old prank I used to do in collage.

Gumball:
[quizzically] College?

Richard:
Okay, high school. Just do as I say.

Gumball:
Mr. Robinson, we need you to stop this feud or you and Dad are gonna end up in prison.

Gaylord:
Almost there... darn it! [pulls back in the long stick, which is made up of household items that have a long reach]

Gaylord:
Trying to get back at your father, but this thing's still not long enough!

[On the end of the stick, there is a bee taped down to a pencil.]

Gumball:
What the wasp?! Mr. Robinson! This argument has spiraled into madness! It has to stop.

Gaylord:
Not till your father pays for what he did to my car.

Gumball:
Then you leave us no choice, sir. Darwin?

[Darwin gets Mr. Robinson's alarm clock.]

Darwin:
Stop the feud, or I reset your alarm clock.

Gaylord:
No! I won't know how to reprogram it!

Gumball:
Then end it!

Gaylord:
Never!

Darwin:
How would you like to wake up at six? Seven? Eight? Or nine a.m.?

Gaylord:
Nine a.m.?! I'll lose half the day!

Gaylord:
Humph. Do your worst. My bladder will wake me up at five anyway.

[Darwin turns the radio to a "young people's music" station, and a parody of the song "Baby" plays.]

Gaylord:
AGH! HE SAID THE WORD "BABY" OVER SEVENTEEN TIMES! TURN IT OFF!

[Darwin turns the radio off.]

Gaylord:
Okay! Okay! I give up! I'll end the feud. But please, can you do this one thing for me in return? [pulls out an envelope]I can't leave the house to post this letter. Would you do it for me?

Alan​​​​​​​:
No, I love you more because I also love, loving you—

Gumball:
Sorry to interrupt. But can you please stop this?

Alan​​​​​​​:
What?

Gumball:
THIS! This hideous picture of happiness.

[Masami, Carrie and Leslie chime in, agreeing with Gumball]

Gumball:
I'm don't like it when you two use your stupid pet names and your gross lovey-dovey faces. You don't see me and Penny acting like that.

Darwin:
Because you're not going out with her?

Gumball:
Exactly. [sighs]

Idaho:
You two are so beautiful, it makes me believe I, too, can find love. [Angrily] But when I look in the mirror, I realize I'm just a dirt covered ball of starch!

[Alan moves to Idaho]

Alan​​​​​​​:
But Idaho, if you wanna be loved... first, you gotta love yourself.

Leslie​​​​​​​:
[Angrily] Yeah! You're so nice and sensitive too I can't even hate you!

Masami:
[Angrily] You're so perfect, it makes me wanna rain on your parade until you swell up, turn brown, and rot!

[Carrie is confused, while everyone is silent]

Carrie:
[Clicks tongue] Uhhhh... I think what Masami is trying to say is that you guys are so perfect, it kinda makes us wish for your downfall.

Masami:
Uh-huh, why don't you go and be perfect somewhere else?

Idaho:
Yeah.

Leslie:
Well said, Carrie.

[Everyone walks away except Alan, Carmen, Gumball and Darwin. Gumball looks guilty, while Darwin pats him on the back]

Anais:
Mom, instead of milk, can we have chocolate milk?

Nicole:
No.

Darwin:
Instead of eggs, can we have chocolate eggs?

Nicole:
No.

Gumball:
Instead of bread, can we have chocolate bread?

Nicole:
No.[Sighs] Richard, can I get a little help here, please?

Richard:
Sure. [Walks to the kids] Here kids, [Grabs a chocolate bar] stop bothering your mother and eat this chocolate.

[Nicole groans and swiftly kicks the chocolate bar out of Richard's hand]

Gumball:
What the...?! Well what's the point in dragging us here if we're not getting some kind of treat?!

Nicole:
[Strained voice, speaks through gritted teeth] Because we're having a nice family outing and that should be reward enough.

[Gumball starts to whimper]

Nicole:
Don't you dare...

Gumball:
[Screams and cries while lying down and bangs on the floor] I WANT THE CHOCOLATE EGGS!

[Nicole sighs, and just as Anais and Darwin copy Gumball, Richard starts screaming. Gary walks by and gives Nicole a judgmental stare]

Nicole:
[Grabs two cans of hot dogs and speaks in a high-pitched voice while staring at the one on her right hand] Oh, Mommy, I want some chocolate. [Stares at the one on her left hand in a normal pitched voice] I'm sorry, little sausage, but you had too much candy this week. [Closes her eyes in a high pitched voice] WAH WAH WAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! [Squeezes the can in her right hand so hard it explodes; normal voice] Now all the little sausages are punished and going to have to wait in the car.

Gumball:
You paranoid nut bar, that stuff doesn't work.

Anais:
Then why are you holding a basket full of lipstick?

Gumball:
Three colors, five dollars! It'd be stupid not to buy it!

[As Anais stares at him, Gumball realizes what she's saying]

Gumball:
This. Is. Perfect! If we use those tricks on Mom, we can get anything we want! It's foolproof! [Starts singing happily] Who's getting candy? [Points at Anais] Owww, you're getting candy! Uh! Uh! [Starts dancing]

Darwin:
I'm getting candy! [Twirls around] And he's getting candddddy!

Richard:
I'm getting candy?! [Pretends to shred on an air guitar] Uhn! Uhn! She's getting candy! [Points at Anais]

Anais:
Mmm, mmm, mmm-mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm! I'm getting candy, [Points at each of the three boys] you're getting candy, he's getting candy, he's getting candy, she's—

Nicole:
GET BACK TO THE CAR!

[The Wattersons walk out in disappointment]

Darwin:
(Whistles) Hey, William! Feast your eye on this! [He squirts shampoo on Williams’s eye but missed, squirted in his face.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW! oh, wait. It's not that bad. (laughs) It’s baby shampoo.

[William focuses on Darwin]

Gumball:
Watch out!

[Gumball pushes Darwin out of the way, just as William unleashes his psychic power at the spot where Darwin was. He crumples some pipes, causing the room to fog up]

William:
You cannot hide from me. Turn Around. Turn around, and face me like men! I am talking to you.

[Gumball and Darwin are huddled in a corner. Gumball sights William coming at them through the fog]

Gumball:
[Whispering] There he is, creeping up on us in silence again.

William:
In silence? [Realizes no one can hear him] Oh, gosh. No one can hear me, can they? I suppose that makes sense, I don't have a mouth. I thought you'd ignored me on purpose all my life. But when you blocked me on Elmore Plus, something...snapped. What was I thinking? I'm so sorry. You must be terrified and confused, I cannot apologize enough-

Darwin:
NOW! [They turn around, with Gumball holding a tennis racket. He swats William, and William flies out of a window]

Anais:
[Squirts whipped cream into her mouth] And it's Dad who's looking after us. [Squirts some more whipped cream into her mouth]

[Gumball jumps into Darwin's arms with a slow iris shot as they smile. Just before it closes, Anais squirts whipped cream into Gumball's mouth]

Gumball:
Ahh... I was hoping you'd do that.

Darwin:
Ohh, short shorts.

Gumball:
[Sighs] What is it now?

Mr. Kreese.:
I'm Mr. Kreese. I teach over at Richwood High, and I heard you might have had some altercation with some of my students yesterday.

Gumball:
Yeah, we did. They came out of nowhere, and tried to start a fight with us!

Mr. Kreese.:
Well, I just wanted to say if that situation ever happens again— YOU WILL LOSE, and THEY WILL WIN! And you'll be like "UGH!" and they'll be like "AAAH!"

Mr. Kreese.:
[Goes to window] Oooh, what's the matter? You scared, little piggies!?

Gumball:
Uh yeah, you're a fully grown man screaming at us, and if you continue I'm gonna call the police.

Mr. Kreese.:
Just what I'd expect from a couple of cowards like you. Ooooooh! Who's the hardcore one now?!

Gumball:
Uh…you, I guess?

Mr. Kreese.:
That's right! [Starts taunting and making weird noises and gestures]

Gumball:
Let's go out the back.

[They sneak up on Mr.Kreese at the porch, and watch him while he continues to make taunting noises, tap his head repeatedly, and point through the window. Gumball shakes his head in disappointment]

Darwin:
Do you know what's the worst thing is? This guy is a teacher.

Gumball:
No dude. The worst thing is that this guy's got two sweaters, and he's not wearing either of them.

Darwin:
What are you doing, anyway?

Gumball:
You know, this can end anytime you like.

Gumball:
Well then, how would you like your radio tuned to young people's music?!

Gumball:
Sir, it would be an honor.