The Crazy Ones

Zack Cropper:
Sydney! Hey, listen- [Aside to Andrew] Hi. [Returning to Sydney] You know how I like to be conjugal on occasion, sometimes for the benefit of the agency, other times it's less philanthropic- Andrew knows-

Andrew Keanelly:
Don't involve me in this.

Zach:
Well, last night I did some conjugating on behalf of the company. She was present, I was perfect, it was all very progressive-

Sydney Roberts:
Zach-

Zach:
[Continuing] She works in account management at Shyat- Nice girl, I think you'd quite like her-

Sydney:
Zach.

Zach:
[Continuing] They met with McDonald's yesterday. We're getting fired, that's what today's meeting is about.

Sydney:
What? My father's in with them right now.

Lauren Slotsky:
Actually, he's not- I've been flashing them, like, for 20 minutes. [To the group] I mean that's assistant stuff, right? Part of my job?

[At once]

Andrew:
It is.

Zack:
Yeah, I would do it.

[About who the agency is trying to get to sing a remake of a McDonald's commercial]

Andrew:
[On the phone] I don't quite understand... They're saying she won't do it? At least, I think that's what they're saying. [Hanging up and turning to Sydney] Shakira's people, they're bilingual so I'm being denied in two different languages. We're screwed. Jennifer Lopez wants to be paid in diamonds, Maraiah's in an ashram, Adele's British, and... P!nk threatened me.

[Simon and Zack at a lunch with Kelly Clarkson]

Kelly Clarkson:
You're looking to remake you're brand, I'm looking to remake mine.

Simon:
Rebranding! Perfect, that's what we do!

Zach:
No one does it better.

Kelly:
See the old Kelly-

Simon:
Oh, please Classic Kelly!

Zach:
Kelly Classic.

Kelly:
Whatever. I wanna sing about sex.

Zack:
We- just need to come up with a meat related sex song.

Simon:
For a family restaurant, and how hard could that be, really? I mean it almost writes itself when you think warm buns, a hamburger patty- pat my patty.

Zach:
Oh, like a pickle, like a p-p-p-p

Simon:
Stick a pickle in the bun and the fun's begun!