The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Season 1 (1988-1989)

Piglet:
Thank you. Thank you for sharing this, Eeyore. It's made everyone so happy.

Eeyore:
Just returning the favor, Piglet. Just returning the favor.

Mama Heffalump:
Oh dear, papa. Marshmallows?

Papa Heffalump:
[eats one] So?

Mama Heffalump:
Don't you remember?

Papa Heffalump:
Oh yeah. [sneezes]

[To a scary scarecrow whose back is turned]

Piglet:
Oh, hello. You must be a friend of Rabbit. Have you come to visit him? [it of course doesn't answer] Oh, no need to be shy. I'm a friend of Rabbit's too. [He finally sees its scary face and runs] Yipe! Help!

Balloon Judge:
You, Pooh Bear, have accused of popping a balloon!

Christopher Robin:
He broke my balloon. How can I ever speak to him again? [crying]

Balloons:
Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!

Balloon Judge:
Silence! Pooh Bear, how do you plead?

[Pooh stammering]

Balloon Judge:
Guilty!

Balloons:
Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!

Pooh:
Christopher Rooooooooooooooooooooooooobiiin!!!!!!! [Wakes up]

Rabbit:
Oh my. It's Pooh Bear.

Piglet:
He's going to tell Christopher Robin about the b-b-b-balloon!

Kessie:
Daddy sad?

Rabbit:
Daddy? No, no, no! I'm Rabbit.

Kessie:
Rabbie!

Rabbit:
Rabb-it! Rabb-it!

Rabbit:
F-fly s-south? Never! You! You keep your big feathers out of this! Why, if-if she was about to fly south, she would have wings. Hah. So then...

Kessie:
But Rabbie... I do have wings.

Rabbit:
Kessie, flying will lead to no good. Remember the promise you made me? About not going to high?

Kessie:
Well, yes, but...

Rabbit:
Good. No more talk about flying. We have lots more fun than flying.

Kessie:
[giggles] I flew Rabbie!

Rabbit:
You what?

Kessie:
Oh yes! Aren't you proud of me?

Tigger:
Yay!

Kessie:
Oh now I can fly south!

Tigger:
Hey, that's right you soloed! Oh boy, kiddo! There's nothing holding you down now.

Rabbit:
Don't you think I know?

[Rabbit sadly walks away and a deflated Kessie hugs Pooh. Cut to Rabbit's house later in the evening]

Kessie:
Rabbie? Um, Rabbie? Could you read me one last bedtime story?

Rabbit:
You mean... before you... leave?

Kessie:
Oh no, I didn't mean that, I meant...

Rabbit:
You don't need me to read you a bedtime story. You don't need me... for anything.

[Rabbit exits and shuts the door. Kessie sits in a rocking chair by the fire and starts crying]

Rabbit:
Kessie. Oh, Kessie.

Kessie:
Did you think I would leave before saying goodbye to you?

Rabbit:
This is a band of monkeys.

Director Monkey:
One and two!

Rabbit:
Excuse me, could I ask you something?

Director Monkey:
Sure! You have a request? Chattanooga Choo-Choo? Ludwig's Fifth? Hey! How about "The Last Train to Clarksville?" We can do it all, you know. Listen! One and two!

Tigger:
Okay, 10 pots from Kanga, check. 7 from Rabbit, check. 1 yo-yo from Roo?! Yuck, uncheck.

Pygmy Piglet villager:
The volcano has erupted! Please help us, O Great One!

Piglet:
M-M-M-Me?

Pygmy Piglet villager:
But we need you.

Piglet:
You're right. I should speak for myself. I may be little, but the pygmies look up to me.

Pooh:
[setting a trap] ...And then the wagon with the cake rolls down the ramp and trips the rope which drops the washtub right onto the mice.

Gopher:
Doors?! Windows?! Ha! Whatever you want from now on, sonny, you're on your-- [He accidentally falls down his own hole.] WHHHOOOOOAAAA!!!

[He crash lands onto the ground with a splat.]

Tigger:
This is ridikkerous! I don't want to be a scotch pine.

Pooh:
I am Winnie the Pooh, but you can call me...

Bruno:
[laughs] You're killing me! A Pooh named Winnie? [laughs]

Ted:
Okay, fluff and stuff, hand over the tag!

Rabbit:
Uh, tag? [stammers] What tag?

Ted:
[yanks on Rabbit's tag] This tag! We've been in here a long, long time, see? And no kid ever wanted to buy us! First day, you get that thing on! [lets go of Rabbit's tag, making it slap onto his face] WHAM-O! Knee deep and customers!

Rabbit:
Oh! [holds up his tag] You want this tag? [the counterfeit toys nod their heads in agreement] Oh, well, uh, why didn't you say so? I thought you meant that tag. [points a different direction and runs off]

Ted:
Hey, I don't see any- [notices Rabbit is gone] What the?! After him, boys! He's got our ticket outta here!

[They chase after Rabbit.]

Rabbit:
Never! I'll never give up my tag! Christopher Robin's gonna buy me! [bumps into a drum and goes flying into the counterfeit toys, crashing into some pillows] Phew! Thanks for catching me.

Ted:
Don't mention it.

[Rabbit, remembering that they're after the special tag, screams and runs off. Only to bump into a doll.]

Doll:
Mama.

[Rabbit, though feeling a little dazed, sees the counterfeit toys running towards him. He screams and runs away, leaving the tag behind on the doll's arm.]

Ted:
We want that tag, see?

[Piglet is hiding under a chair]

Pooh:
He's just being afraid. It's the wind, you know. [Pooh offers him a slice of cake] Piglet, make a wish.

Piglet:
I wish I never had to come out of here again.

Nasty Jack:
What?! No cherry?

Rabbit:
Uh, let me answer that by saying...HELP!

Pooh:
Which um, reminds me, Eeyore and I have to go...find some honey.

Rabbit:
How can you think of food in a time like this?!

Pooh:
I practice.

[Nasty Jack has accidentally ripped off Piglet's badge]

Nasty Jack:
Now look what you done! The badge fell off! You know what this means?

Piglet:
I'm not sheriff anymore?

Nasty Jack:
You're not sheriff anymore!

Piglet:
So I can go now?

Nasty Jack:
Oh sure, fine. That's just peachy, ain't it? Now I can't even trounce you! What in the blue blazes am I supposed to do?!

Tigger:
[repeated line whenever his boomerang returns to cause havoc] Duck!

Rabbit:
I-I don't think I want that honey after all, Tigger.

Tigger:
Oh come on, bunny boy. Can't you hear that old bookend calling? [throwing his voice] Rabbit!

Rabbit:
Alright, alright. What do I have to do?

Mama Heffalump:
(gasps) My baby!

Pooh:
(horrified) Piglet?! Is that?!

Piglet:
(horrified) Mama Heffalump?!

Junior Heffalump:
(horrified) Mama?!

Mama Heffalump:
My baby! Whatever did you do?!

Junior Heffalump:
I trapped them and destroyed them again.

Papa Heffalump:
So?

Mama Heffalump:
Don't you remember? You're allergic to blowing up bad goofing up.

Papa Heffalump:
Blowing Up Bad Goofing up too, huh? (sneezes, explosion) OUCH! Sorry, Mama. Sorry! Wait a minute. You mean to say, you destroyed Rabbit's Tea Party and brought the honey for me?! Oh, Son, you shouldn't have. (sniffles) Thanks, Mama. Now I can finally be in peace with some honey! (whooping happily, sends the woodland creatures away) Bye, Pooh and Piglet the Woodland Creatures. Hello, Honey! (whooping happily) Finally! Free at last! Uh-oh. I forgot to thank Woodland Creatures. Thank you! (laughing) Ah. (whooping happily) Now I am the curest father in the world! (whooping)

Tigger:
[repeated line] Masked offender to the rescue!

Tigger:
[preparing to push Eeyore on a swing, predictably too hard] Ready?

Eeyore:
No, but go ahead anyway.

[Tigger has just plucked all the apples from Rabbit's trees]

Tigger:
Ha! Don't worry, long ears. We won't let another one of these things drop on your noggin.

Roo:
Hey, anybody want to play ice cookie?

Christopher Robin:
Isn't that ice hockey, Roo?

Roo:
No, we are out of hockey pucks, but mother gave me an oatmeal cookie.

[Tigger is playing checkers with himself using various small objects]

Tigger:
Hmm...good move. But not good enough! Hoo hoo hoo! King Kong me! Ha ha! I win, I win, I...always win. Boy this sure is boring. [kicks over the checkerboard]

[Pooh, inside a snowman, starts to sneeze]

Tigger:
Say, what's wrong with your snowman's schnozzola?

Pooh:
I want to thank the wishing star. It made my most important wish come true.

Christopher Robin:
What wish is that?

Pooh:
You.

[The pack rats pay with a walnut]

Pooh:
Oh. That's uh, very nice, but when things end up missing, not everyone is happy with walnuts in return.

Tigger:
[singing as he scrubs Piglet's floor] Scrub a dub dub dub!

Tigger:
[laughs] Now you're gettin' the hang of it, Buddy Bird! It's just like flyin', uh, only usin' your legs.

Owl:
I say, what a wonderful feeling to be elevating back to my natural, old habitat. [takes a deep breath] Ah, to breathe the clean, fresh air. To gaze across the...

[Unfortunately, Gopher's hole is there, and one of Owl's stilts falls into it, sending Owl plummeting down the hole, screaming. He then crashes into the ground with a thud.]

Tigger:
Whoops!

Piglet:
I just finally realized something. There's small, and there's very small, and there's very very small. And it really doesn't matter what you are.

Tigger:
Hoo hoo! Well, it's a good thing I hid them. [shuts his window, inadvertently causing Rabbit, who was hanging from the sill, to plummet and scream] Did you hear something?

Rabbit:
Dark? [faints at the sound of the word]

Eeyore:
[after bouncing Tigger] Do you wanna play with me, Tigger?

Tigger:
No! I don't ever want to play with you again! Never ever! Why, why, you're a menace! Imagine going about bouncing helpless Tiggers like me!

Tigger:
Aha! This case is solved! Piglet was here dreaming about daffodils, which as every genius private ear knows, Piglets are allergical to. [sniffs some daffodils but sneezes]

Pooh:
[following a cookbook] 2 egg whites? But they're all white. [Pours the whole dozen in]

Rabbit:
Where does the schedule say "bunnies cry?!" Where?! Show me where!

Tigger:
[singing] They'll put him in a steamy vat until he's soggy fried

He'll try to climb the slippery walls

But, no, they're much too HIGH!