The Suite Life on Deck, Season 3

Woody:
How do you normally get off the island Brother Theodore?

Brother Theodore:
Well, I told you. I have a little dinghy.

Woody:
*laughing*

Sir Theodore:
What?

Cody:
Don't mind him, he's a little dingy. *Woody shuts up* What's in store for us next, Brother?

Sir Theodore:
*looks at the list* Oh, let me see, uh...Oh, here you are. You're on the kiln list.

Woody:
The kill list?! Please, I'm not ready to die! I promise I'll never make fun of your leaky dinghy again.

Sir Theodore:
The kiln list, not the kill list. Though you're about to get on that one, too. [leaves]

Cody:
He means we have to make pottery.

Zack:
But I don't have to go!

Cody:
Make "Pottery". Not "potty"! You guys get, what, like every other word?

Woody:
Guys what every word? Is it just me, or is he hard to understand?

Zack:
Okay that's it! I don't care if I have to sit in the chair of extreme discomfort for a week. I have something to say. Cody look , I know you're in pain over your break-up with Bailey- [turns to the other monks] Seriously this girl was smoking.

Cody:
[groans]

Zack:
The point is, there's a lot of great adventures out there, but you can't have any of them stuck in here with a bunch of weird bald dudes.

Brother Theodore:
He ain't wrong.

Cody:
Zack, I appreciate that but my brothers-

Zack:
These aren't your brothers. I'm your brother and I care about you. I'm not leaving this island without you.

Cody:
Thanks, Zack. [hugs Zack]

Bailey:
[Bailey and Miss Tutweiler are crying over breakups] London why are you crying?

London:
Because I'm stuck on a boat with you people!

London:
When you said we were going to put on fancy dresses, I didn't think you meant putting them on cats!

Mr. Moseby:
In the weekend, that must be failed in the treasure hunt we'll never be able to do. Because of me, that always has to do with that the end of the story.

Cody:
(playing with his wrists) OW! OW! OW!

Zack:
What are you doing?

Cody:
Trying to condition myself to stop thinking of Bailey.

Zack:
I think I'm in love.

Maya:
[With menu] Here are some extra crayons for your menu. Please don't eat them

Cody:
[Smiles] You're in love! [Tickles Zack] Zacky loves Maya!

Zack:
Hey! I do not! Love is a very strong word reserved for special thing.

Zack:
Maya won't date me!

Zack:
Hey five bucks. Oh Cody, Cody, Cody. Like I don't know the combination is mom's birthday.

Zack:
(as he picks up the phone) Hey Mom! Yeah. Yeah I miss you too. Hey quick question: When's your birthday again? Well then Happy Birthday. BTW Whatever Cody sent you, it's from the two of us. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Can't talk now. Goodbye! (As Zack hangs up his cell phone)

Zack:
Wow, this kid's got issue.

Zack:
Here it is. (As Zack opens the book) Month one: Admire her from afar? Lame! Month two: Admire her from sightly less afar. More lame.

Zack:
Oh, Maya I made you a honeydew dream because today your dreams will come true.

Maya:
I'm gonna dance with a giant rabbit while Lady Gaga plays the spoons?

Zack:
Not that dream.

Zack:
You know what Maya, I really hate being your friend,

Maya:
Thanks! That would look really great on a valentines card!

Frankie:
[walks to everyone in a scuba diver suit] Mr. Moseby, I think I got to the bottom of things.

Mr. Moseby:
And?

Frankie:
It seems something clogged an air duct causing an internal rupture which cracked the window.

Bailey:
Was it my corn snips?

Cody:
Was it my sujihiki?

Woody:
Was it my powerful bowels?

Frankie:
[to Bailey] No. [to Cody] No. [to Woody] Ew. It was this pocket hanky! Apparently you dropped your hanky into the vent when you got scared by that dolphin and wet your pants. [she leaves]

Mr. Moseby:
[smiles nervously] Oops. [his cellphone rings] Ah! It's Mr. Tipton! He's gonna wanna know who to throw off the ship. I don't want to leave!

Bailey:
We can't let Mr. Tipton fire Mr. Moseby.

London:
Oh give me the phone! [takes the phone and talks to her dad] Daddy, I flooded the Aqua Lounge. It was all my fault. Yep, it's Switzerland all over again. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yay! Bye daddy! [hangs up]

Marcus:
Well, did he kick you off?

London:
Nah. He just cut my allowance to 50,000 a week.

Cody:
Looks like no one is leaving the ship after all.

Marcus:
[looks at his cellphone] I'm leaving the ship!

Everybody:
What?!

Zack:
But it's Moseby's fault.

Marcus:
I know, but I just got an email from those producers about my hip hopera, they said it was the most ridiculous thing they have ever seen!

Bailey:
Then why are you so happy?

Marcus:
They said it's going to be the next big comedy. They're moving my whole family to New York; I'm going to star in a Broadway show! I'm going to be the lead tooth.

Zack:
Comedy? I thought you said it was a serious love story about overcoming adversity.

Marcus:
Look, it's a stupid song about a girl with bad teeth.

Everybody:
[singing] Retainer baby, retainer baby, I require your wire.

Mr. Moseby:
[still singing when everybody stops] Retainer baby! [makes weird noises then stops] Guess it's cake time.

Marcus:
Well Mr. Moseby thanks again for everything. Before I leave I want to give you something.

Mr. Moseby:
Please Marcus you don't need to do that. Your friendship is gift enough.

Marcus:
Well it's a Little Little t-shirt made into a pocket hanky.

Mr. Moseby:
THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER! [hugs Marcus and leaves]

Bailey:
Aww! This reminds me of my goodbye party when I left Kettlecorn except you're leaving and I'm not. And we're on a boat not on a barn. And there's not a giant twister barring down on us. [hugs Marcus] Oh Marcus, congratulations!

Marcus:
Thanks! [Bailey leaves]

Marcus:
[to Woody] Well Woody, I'm going to miss you.

Woody:
Marcus, I always thought of you as a brother. A real brother. Not like this kid named Neil who's forty years old and lives in my treehouse.

Marcus:
Well I got nothing to say for that so let's just cut right to the man hug. [hugs Woody]

Woody:
We're gonna miss you Marcus.

Cody:
Just want to say good luck big guy. To think you'll be entertaining people while promoting proper dental care? I am so proud of you. [hugs Marcus]

Marcus:
I'm going to miss you Cody.

Cody:
I'm going to miss you too.

Marcus:
[to Zack] Zack, I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

Woody:
Hurtful.

Zack:
I'm going to miss you too buddy. You know you're the only roommate I've ever had that I didn't hate.

Cody:
Hurtful.

Zack:
[hugs Marcus]

Marcus:
Well you guys, I just want to say thank you for everything. Before I came here I was going through a really, really tough time but you guys took me in. You made me feel like family and I will always be grateful to you so thank you. And if you guys are ever in New York, please just look me up.

Zack:
You know what? We just might do that someday.

London:
Someday? How about now? Take me with you!

Marcus:
Okay! [picks up London and starts to leave]

London:
Next stop Tiffany's! Whoo!

Zack:
dot , dot, circle, circle with a stick, dot with a stick and a feather. It doesn't make any sense

Marcus:
Those are notes!

Zack:
I got a note for you, BORING!

Arwin:
Callie made her own mobile unit. My creation made a creation. I'm a granddad!

Woody:
Zack we need your help!

Zack:
Okay, step one: deny everything! Step two: if they don't believe step one, blame your twin.

Zack:
Hey, Cody... I went on a date with this geeky girl... (Begins to describe her, making a point of how horrible she is)

Cody:
So?

Zack:
So! I got her number for you!

Cody:
(Sighs and looks really angry) Why can't anyone understand that I'm perfectly happy alone? CAN YOU NOT SEE HOW HAPPY I AM?!?!?!

Sean Kingston:
Wow, she's so pretty - i think i'm in love.

London:
You wanna see something really funny [pauses] BAILEY'S CLOTHES!

[kids laugh]

Bailey:
The kids hate me.

London:
Not just the kids.

Cody:
So, big change on someone's online profile.

Woody:
Oh you saw I got my 10th friend, double digits baby!

Cody:
Yeah, it's nice that your grandma finally accpted your friend request.

Woody:
Actually, it was my mum, nana's still pending.

Cody:
No, i'm talking about Maya's page. Looks like she just updated her status to 'in a relationship'. You know what this means Zack?

Zack:
Yeah, she's really into me, can you blame her?

Cody:
Noo-oo It means you've gotta change your status too, and well, your whole life.

Zack:
Well I don't. I already got Maya. It's all smooth sailing from here.

Cody:
Smooth sailing - just like the Titanic! You have no idea how much work it takes to maintain a relationship with a girl.

Zack:
What work?

Cody:
Well, they always make you put them first. Suddenly what you want doesn't matter anymore. When we started dating, Bailey made me join her stupid quilting circle!

Woody:
You were in that before she was!

Cody:
Whatever, my point is -

Woody:
Actually didn't you start the quilting circle?

Cody:
My point is you're gonna have to start making changes my friend!

Zack:
No no no I'm not gonna change for anyone, not even Maya

Cody:
[walks out laughing] That guy!

Zack:
What does Cody know about women; except he's a pedicure away from being one?

Woody:
So does this mean that you're not gonna change your status to 'in a relationship'?

Zack:
No way! Just cause Maya changed her's doesn't mean that I have to change mine.

Maya:
[Walks over] Hey Zack, did you happen to notice my status?

Zack:
Well of course I did..

Maya:
Sooo...

Zack:
So it was very nice of you to do that.

Maya:
And... [flips hair]

Zack:
And.. I was just about to change mine, but I wanted to see your face when I did it.

Maya:
Aww Zack!

Zack:
See that's the face!

Woody:
Way to hold your guns, pal!

Maya:
[phone bleeps] Hmm? I just got a request from a Mildred Fink.

Woody:
Nana! Hurtful!

Zack:
Taken with you?

Carey:
I didn't even know shrimps have butts.

Carey:
Ew, that was the worst one yet! Tasted like goats feet!

Cody:
The throw up's starting to taste better than the soda!

Zack:
Don't give them any ideas. That will be the next flavor!

Mr. Moseby:
Our next victi- uh, challenger is - [gets picked up by giant sumo wrestler; screaming] Aaahh! NO! NO NO NO, NOT ME! I'M THE HOST!

Sumo wrestler:
[Puts Mr. Moseby down] Oh, sorry lady.

Bailey:
Woody! Your B.O caused a K.O! [Woody approaches her about to hug; avoiding his underarms] No no!

Woody:
Lock and load!

Bailey:
[Voiceover as Ms. Tutweiller is reading] Ms. Tutweiller. Ms. Tutweiller. Ms. Tutweiller!

Ms. Tutweiller:
[Comes out of her trance] Oh, what?!

Cody:
Ms. Tutweiller, Bailey seems to be failing Fun 101, whereas I am having extra fun. (Ms. Tutweiller and Bailey leave the room and Cody immediately gets out of the hot tub, pulling out a huge tub of hand sanitizer and beginning to furiously run sanitizer all over his body.) That is so unsanitary... (A mom and her kids are staring at him like he's crazy. [to kids]) Oh, you think I'm nuts? You're nuts!!! (The kids run away in fear)

Bailey:
Ms. Tutweiller, don't you think laser tag elevates the mindless violence so prevelant in our society?

Ms. Tutweiller:
No, I think it's fun.

Ms. Tutweiller:
I am going to teach you two to have fun if it's the last thing I ever do!

Bailey:
As your teacher, you're required to actually teach us something.

Ms. Tutweiller:
I graduated from a community college; I didn't take an oath.

Bailey:
[Whispers to Cody] I bet she barely got in.

London:
Hola Valentina!

Valentina:
Do I know you?

London:
It's London. Tipton. London Tipton.

London:
Remember the ski trip in Switzerland last spring? I was on the slopes, tying my shoe, and you skiied right over me.

Woody:
Do not touch me, peasant! I am Lord Pembleton.

Valentina:
[To Zack] Do you hear that? [Shakes her glass in his face] It is the sound of my glass being emptied. Fill it. [Shoves glass at him]

Zack:
Hey, I don't work here!

Valentina:
[Appalled] You mean you wear those close on purpose?

Woody:
That's us. The Three Muskateers!

Zack:
I offered to stay with her, but you know Maya doesn't like anybody to see her when she's sick.

Woody:
I've never seen anybody puke like that. It landed all over the shuffleboard court!

London:
On the upside, it landed on the 10!

Cody:
I've had a perfect attendance record since Kindergarden.

'Bailey:
Mine's perfect since Preschool.

Cody:
I skipped Preschool. They didn't think I needed it.

Ms. Tutweiller:
When I assigned you this art project, I wanted you to make something artistic... not academice.

Cody:
What's more artistic than a brain you can eat?

Bailey:
DNA you can snuggle with.

Cody:
[After clearing the hot tub] Excuse me sir, you left your pussy bandage.

Guard at exclusive party:
[To London] You. [To Zack] You. [To Woody] Not you.

Zack:
[To guard] Look buddy, he's okay. He's with me.

Guard:
Do you want to go in or not?

London:
Well, see ya! [Leaves]

Zack:
I'll stay with you, buddy.

Woody:
[As guard detains him] Go ahead. I'll be okay.

Zack:
Thanks, buddy. [Follows London]

Woody:
[To guard] I can't believe he actually went ahead!

Zack:
I really wanted to get a video of Rafi saying Hi to Maya.

Woody:
[Holds up video camera] Got it.

Zack:
You got it? You met Raphael?!

Woody:
Well, not exactly. I was walking, and I dropped my glass on his foot and he said "Aiiiiiiii!"

Zack:
Thanks, buddy. Maya's really gonna love this.

Ms. Tutweiller:
[As Bailey and Cody are shooting her with laser guns] Stop! Just stop, and I'll give you an A!

Bailey:
[After playing laser tag] [Suprised] That was fun!

Cody:
Do you know what I want to do now?

Bailey:
Write a paper about it?

Cody:
Yes. [Both excited]

Bailey:
My paper'll be better.

Cody:
Oh no it won't. [They leave together]

Ms. Tutweiller:
[Lying on the ground, exhausted] [Sighs as boy comes up and starts shooting her with laser gun]

Zack:
[hits Woody]

Woody:
Ow! What was that for?!

Zack:
For having a pretty sister. [hits Woody again]

Woody:
Ow! What was that for?

Zack:
For not telling me about her. [hits Woody again]

Woody:
Ow! What was that for?

Zack:
Nothing. I just like hitting you.

Woody:
You broke my sister's heart!

Cody:
Yeah!? Well She broke wind!

Arturo:
Do you know what it's like to not have a single thought in your head?

London:
...Huh?

Arturo:
Look who I'm talking to.

London:
...Who? [looks around]

Zack:
I gotta worm in my pocket.

Woody:
Why?

Zack:
...I dunno!

Arturo:
You can't keep me in here!

London:
I can't... but this NAIL GUN CAN!

Arturo:
Uh, uh, uh- oh, you got my bath collection. Did you get the matching loofahs?

Woody:
uhm. Guys why does this monster have a zipper?

Cody:
Guys, this isn't a monster, it's Dr. Cork.

Woody:
I still say we eat him.

Dr. Cork:
Please don't eat me! I have an internet date on Friday!

Bailey:
(wearing a Santa outfit) Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Please donate to the needy children.

Cody:
(wearing a elf suit and gets a teddy bear from a woman) Thank you! Look Bailey, our first donation!

Bailey:
Oh great! (wipes sweat from her forehead)

Cody:
Wow, you look really hot.

Bailey:
Oh, ummm, thanks cody, but it doesn't sound like that is the way you speak to a friend ,right?

Young London:
A car?! (London joins in) YAY!

Young London:
(sad) Daddy's not coming home for Christmas?

Mr. Moseby:
You know what? Let's head down to that shelter and help the less fortunate. That always bucks up your spirits.

Young London:
My spirits are fine. I just want to stay here and play with my toys. (starts backing up with her car)

Future London:
(hangs up) I have nobody. (crying)

London:
(feels sad) That's awful. Am I really going to be that lonely mirror? (turns to sees the mirror isn't there) Mirror?

Zack:
[playing as Brody] Here she comes now.

Cody:
[steps on stage wearing a dress, a wig and speaks in falsetto voice] Hello my beloved.

Zack:
[stares at Cody in shock] Cody? I knew this day would come but I didn't expect it so soon.

Cody:
[as Hailey] Or so he thinks! For Paris is full of men and I plan on shaking my bon-bons for each and every one of them.

Cody:
[as Hailey] Now's the part where you're supposed to kiss me.

Zack:
...No. That is... not going to happen.

Bailey:
[To Cody] How could you hate me so much?

London:
[Driving to Kettlecorn] Are we there yet?!

Bailey:
Still no, but, hey! Let's play a game to pass the time! Okay, uh, me first. I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter-

London:
CORN! (glares at Bailey)

Cody:
Zack, you said you wanted to see me? Did you hear from Bailey?

Zack:
No. She's gone for good.

Woody:
[Seeing that they will be playing basketball against Dwight Howard] We're in trouble.

Zack:
Okay guys, I know we can win this.

Woody:
How?

Zack:
I have no idea.

Bailey:
(singing) See, my name is Carol and I live in Carolina. My husband's name is Carl, and we all sell -

London:
(interrupting) CORN! Enough with the corn. (menacingly) I hate corn!

London:
[Being attacked by a corn-beetle] Get this bug got off of me!

Bailey:
Actually, London, it's gone.

London:
Since when?!

Bailey:
Ten miles ago. I didn't want to tell you 'cause we were making such good time.

Eunice:
(Shouting) Twister!!!

London:
Twister? I love that game!

Eunice:
Hey, London, you're whittling! what're you making?

London:
A pointy stick to stab all you people.

Eunice:
Well, why don't you just use the knife?

London:
(makes a maniacal face)

Eunice:
Why did I just say that?

Woody:
Hurtful, sir!

Bailey:
They're fatigues.

London:
Yeah, we're all tired.

London:
Stupid roof co-AAAAHHHH!!! [falls down and lands on Cody]

Zack:
Are you gonna kiss her or are we gonna have to wait six months again?

Moseby:
Mr. Tipton, you are doing a very nice thing.

Mr. Tipton:
I know, but I'm going to go through with it anyway. Marilyn, I like the cut of your gib. You look me up if you ever need a job.

Moseby:
THAT'S IT. I've HAD ENOUGH of these (ship's horn blows) SNAKES...ON THIS (ship's horn blows) BOAT!

Woody:
We're going to need a bigger net.

Zack:
Hey I ordered steaks not snakes!

Maya:
Zack, truth or dare?

Zack:
Uh, truth.

Maya:
How many girls did you date before me?

Zack:
DARE.

London:
Hahaha! You should have seen your face. I was all like "menacing noise" and you were all like "scared reaction"! Hahaha!

London:
Terrific. You dropped my phone in a crate full of- [looks at the label on the crate of snakes and gasps] DANGEROUS SNACKS!

Woody:
How could snacks be dangerous?

London:
They could be very high in sodium content.

Woody:
It says snacks.

Woody:
No but I got this painful floor burn!

London:
Ooh! It looks exactly like Justin Bieber! Haha! Make it sing! Make it sing!

London:
[As she and Woody enter a room with crates full of snakes in it] Why are you out of breath? We took the elevator.

Woody:
We still had to walk down a mid-sized hallway. With a turn!

Cody:
Six.

Zack:
Six?

Cody:
Six. Six is the answer to every question. How many boys did you date before me? Six. What size do you think I am? Six. How pretty and I? Six?

Zack:
Wow, that really works!

Cody:
It'll solve all your problems.

Bailey:
[A couple minutes later] Cody, I'm so glad you want to have six kids.

Woody:
Isn't couple's game night fun, honey?

London:
Touch me again and I'll rip your arm off and beat you with it.

Zack:
Why don't you just take your turn, London!

London:
I will put my A down to make 'a'.

Woody:
I will add onto your 'a' to make 'at'.

Zack:
I will add onto your 'at' to make 'rat'.

Cody:
[Puts a dozen letters down] I will add onto your 'rat' to make 'biostratographic'.

Zack:
[Knocks the board onto the floor] Oh no! Tidal Wave!

Woody:
[After London jumps out and scares him] London, that was unbelievebly cruel!

London:
Why? It was just a little prank.

Woody:
No, you obviously knew there was an elevator and didn't tell me!

Ms. Tuttwiler:
Hey, what are you guys looking at? (sees Moseby floating in the air) Marion?!?!?!?!

Moseby:
EMMA!

Ms. Tutwiller:
How dare you! ...I finally get a boyfriend and you send him into the stratosphere.

Moseby:
(with his clothes ripped) I'm BACK! (the students laugh) QUIET! (pause) It might interest you to know, that after you set me adrift, I was struck by lightning! Forced to LAND by a military helicopter. And eventually rescued...by a particularly loathsome baboon. I'll spare you the rest of the details, because after that, it got REALLY nasty. (the students laugh more) You think that's funny? Well maybe you'll think this is funny. PROM...IS...CANCELLED! (the students gasp and Moseby folds his arms)

Addison:
Bailey, I really need your advice.

Bailey:
Vote for me for Prom Queen!

Addison:
I meant about Woody.

Bailey:
Woody should vote for me for Prom Queen too! (thumbs up)

Addison:
I really wanted to come to prom with Woody, so what am I supposed to do when he walks in with his..... other woman?!

Bailey:
Y'know what you're gonna do? You should march up to that woman, look her dead in the eyes and say

"Vote Bailey for Prom Queen!"

Zack and Cody:
What do you mean you're not going to graduation?!

Cody:
We're not just friends, or shipmates, we're a family.and we love each other

Zack:
Goodbye seniors, goodbye class. High school you can-

Ms. Tutweiller:
O-KAY! Thank you Zack!

Bailey:
Mr and Mrs Martin, it's so nice to finally meet you I'm Bailey.

Carey:
Nice to meet you too.

Kurt:
Oh right, you're Cody's...Where are you guys now?

Carey:
You know if you bothered to read Cody's emails you'd know that they're back together.

Kurt:
I'm still on the one after Paris that was like twenty six pages. I like Zack's better it's short and to the point. 'Hi Dad, send money.'

Addison:
Ooh! Do you want me to sign your yearbook?

Maya:
Yeah sure.

Maya:
Great, I'm going to need a second yearbook. [follows Addison]

Bailey:
London, will you sign my yearbook?

London:
Of course. [takes out a stamp and stamps Bailey's yearbook]

Bailey:
[reads her yearbook] I will never forget you. No matter how hard I've tried. London Tipton. [closes her yearbook] You know? I'm going to miss you making fun of me everyday.

London:
Oh, don't worry. [takes out a CD] I made you a CD. [gives it to Bailey and hugs her]

Woody:
[has his arms around Zack and Cody and begins to cry] I'm going to miss you guys so much.

Zack:
You're coming with us to the Yankee game tonight.

Woody:
I know but that's like for another four hours!

Ms. Tutweiller:
[being dragged to the Sky Deck by Mr. Moseby] Marion, whatever this is I don't have time. I still have thirty kitty carriers to pack, and that's just the Siamese.

Mr. Moseby:
Attention everyone, Ms. Tutweiller and I have an announcement to make.

Ms. Tutweiller:
We do?

Mr. Moseby:
I hope so. Emma, the more I thought about us being apart, the more I realized I wanted us to be together. Forever. Emma, [bends down on one knee and opens an engagement box] will you-

Ms. Tutweiller:
YES! YES! YES! YES! [takes the ring, puts it on and kisses Mr. Moseby] Oh, I have to call my mother and tell her, "I TOLD YOU SO!"

London:
Moseby, are you sure you thought this through?

Ms. Tutweiller:
Shut up! [screams in delight and leaves]

London:
So, I'm a high school graduate and you're engaged. Didn't see that coming.

Mr. Moseby:
I know. I think next we're going to see one of Bailey's pigs fly by.

London:
You know what, Moseby? I'm going to throw you the best wedding ever.

Mr. Moseby:
Thank you very much. [hugs London]

London:
And thank you for taking care of me all these years.

Mr. Moseby:
You are welcome. I'm so proud of you for graduating high school, and so proud of the woman that you've become. Keep in touch, okay?

London:
Don't worry. I've got you on speed dial. I'll call you whenever I have a problem. [walks away]

Mr. Moseby:
[cellphone rings and he picks up] Hello?

London:
[crying] I have a problem...I'm gonna miss you. [hugs Cody] Bye Zack. [hugs Zack] Bye Cody.

Cody:
Uh, actually London I'm...gonna miss you.

Zack:
I'm going to miss you too.

London:
Well, it's little me off to Parii. [walks away]

Bailey:
[walks to Cody] Promise me you'll come visit me at Yale?

Cody:
I promise. I got an admissions guy I want to talk to.

Bailey:
So this isn't goodbye.

Cody:
I love you.

Bailey:
I love you squared. [kisses Cody, hugs him and goes to Zack] Zack. [hugs him]

Zack:
Still don't know what you see in him.

Bailey:
[pats his arm and leaves]

Mr. Moseby:
You know boys, I always thought if this ship was going to be destroyed, it'd be because of you two.

Zack:
So did I. So did I.

Cody:
We're going to miss you, Moseby.

Mr. Moseby:
[puts both arms around Zack and Cody] You know I'd never thought I'd say this but...I'm going to miss you guys too.

Zack:
So, where are you and the future ball and chain headed?

Mr. Moseby:
[speaks in incoherent noises] I'm not really sure.

Cody:
I don't think he wants to tell us.

Zack:
Doesn't matter. We'll find him.

Mr. Moseby:
[groans and runs away]

Cody:
[goes upstairs with Zack] Well Zack, we've lived in a hotel, on a boat, what's next?

Zack:
I don't know, but wherever we go we're taking that hot tub with us.

Cody:
How are you going to swing that?

Zack:
I slipped Frankie a twenty.

Cody:
You take that from my wallet?

Zack:
Actually I took a fifty. I just gave her twenty of it.

Cody:
[Smiles] You're in love! [Tickles Zack] Zacky loves Maya!

Zack:
Hey! I do not! Love is a very strong word reserved for special thing.

Sasha Matryoshka:
[as she and Marcus play chess] Ha! You have exposed your bishop!

Marcus Little:
I have? That's so embarrassing.

Zack:
Taken with you?

Woody:
Locked and loaded!

Cody:
What's The Big problem?

Zack:
Look at my room!

Cody:
Your room is always a mess.

Zack:
I Know but I always keep my dirty socks on the left side of the bed in case I trip while I'm on my way to the bathroom.

Woody:
Oh so you have a comfy pile of dirty socks to fall in.

Woody:
Clever!

Zack:
But now they're on the right!

Zack:
The Right!

Cody:
You're not going to tell us it's the stupid captain ghost.

Zack:
Shh! Don't Call him stupid! He might get angry

Woody:
Why would a ghost be haunting you?

Cody:
Your help? You can't even write your history paper or fold your own underpants.

Woody:
Who folds their underpants?

Cody:
I do! Promptly after ironing them.

Cody:
We were hormone-crazed 12 year old boys. We saw women popping out of everything.

Cody:
Plus you don't even have any actual evidence of a ghost being here.

Zack:
I'm not gonna be the only one here tonight. (as Zack closed the door) Cause you two are staying here too.

Cody:
Woody, stop pulling my blanket off my bed.

Woody:
What? I'm not even near your bed.

Zack:
Ah! Ghost! Ghost!

Cody:
What happened?

Zack:
The ghost, he pulled my blanket off my bed!

Cody:
(starts whining) Or it fell on the floor.

Mr. Moseby:
[On the phone with Mr. Tipton] Actually... I don't understand. We are having this graduation ceremony whether you like it or not. Good day, Mr. Tipton.

Zack:
Cody, Forget about Yale Forget about Maya