Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, Season 2

Eric:
You look like a man I could be a best friend with

Tim:
It took a lotta guts

Raz: Shells on the neck, shells on the wris Now string 'em all up Get the shells on the ankle Underwater camera, disposable camera!

Tim Heidecker:
You're a great son, probably one of the best.

Spagett :
Spagett!

Palmer Scott: This is what I do, This is what I do. This is what I do, I sit on you.

Tairy Greene:
Shhh... SHUT UP! It's time for snuggle...

Mr. Henderson:
How many breakfasts did you have this morning?

Carol:
Just the one, sir.

Mr. Henderson:
Looks like you had about 4 or 5, lookin like a burrito this morning.

Mr. Henderson:
Lar, whaddya say, poke or no poke?

Larry:
Definitely no poke.

Mr. Henderson:
"Hear that Carol? No one wants to do ya, you're a waste."

Jeff Goldblum:
(Advertising for the Jeffgoldbluman Group) It's a sizzler. Please watch.

Molly:
This is magnificent, James.

David Cross :
(as James, creator of PussyDoodles): Why thank you, Molly.

Molly:
Love what you've done with the colors-

James [covering Molly's mouth with his hand]:
SHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone. It's just my Pussy-Dooo'les.

Cinco Voiceover:
If D'ump detects a Bear in the area, it just shuts down!

[Two young boys stare at their D'ump contraption for an estranged period of time. D'ump is entirely unresponsive.]

Boy:
DAD! BEAR!

Eric Wareheim [pointing at a naked baby picture of Tim]:
..Hey, Who's this?

Tim Heidecker [Blushing a bit]:
Yeah, well that's my mom. So-

Eric Wareheim:
Yeah, but what's this. [Points at Tim's small wiener in the picture]

Tim Heidecker [Glowing Red]:
...That's my Penis.

Eric Wareheim:
For one thing, Tim was an average sized man.

Dr. Steve Brule:
(inebriated) That's our Show! (pulls cloth off the table, spilling all of the wine)

Eric Wareheim:
"Wait a second Tim, what about all my e-worms and e-mail viruses?"