Ugly Betty, Season 4

Austin:
[to Justin] Hey, what are you doing, I thought we were gonna hang out?

Justin Suarez:
You guys go without me.

Austin:
Justin, I know you saw us! Come on, she didn't pick me over you or anything. You got to kiss her, and I wanted my shot.

Justin Suarez:
You guys seemed pretty into it.

Austin:
I guess...

Justin Suarez:
You weren't?

Austin:
Well it wasn't like you two on stage. That seemed intense.

Justin Suarez:
Well... I guess that's because I'm a good actor.

Austin:
Really?

Justin Suarez:
Yeah. It was better in my head.

Austin:
[Austin chuckles] This is messed up, alright? Oh, and by the way, you weren't that good on stage, okay? Cause you were totally blocking me when you kissed her!

Justin Suarez:
You just have to have everyone seeing you all the time.

Austin:
Trust me, they were looking at me anyways.

Justin Suarez:
[laughing] You are so in love with yourself!

Austin:
Wouldn't you be?

Justin Suarez:
I'm going to meet Austin.

Hilda Suarez:
Where are you going?

Justin Suarez:
Nowhere. Just hanging out.

Hilda Suarez:
[to Bobby] Why is everything about Austin always such a big secret?

Bobby Talercio:
No secret. Austin's a good kid. They're both good kids. Everything's cool.

Hilda Suarez':
What's going on? Do you know something?

Bobby Talercio:
No. I don't know anything. What, what would I know?

Hilda Suarez:
You do know something. I swear to God, Bobby, you better tell me.

Bobby Talercio:
No, I can't. I promised I wouldn't say anything. I'm not gonna break that promise.

Hilda Suarez:
He's on drugs. Oh, my God! That Austin kid has got my baby hooked on drugs!

Bobby Talercio:
It's not drugs.

Hilda Suarez:
Well, then, what is it, Bobby? Because I cannot think of another reason why my son is always spending time with Austin. Oh, suddenly he's sneaking off all the time, or he's up in the room with the door... [pauses as Bobby stares at her] Ooohhhhh.

Amanda:
[to Marc] I wanna get promoted. I'm sick of being a receptionist—always being at everyone's Beck and Victoria.

Wilhelmina:
[reading from a website announcing an upcoming drag show] "Mean queens of fashion in New York City's finest drag bar. Double bill featuring Manna Wintour and Wilheldiva Hater"?!

Marc:
That is so fun— offensive!

Wilhelmina:
I will not be mocked by some low-rent drag queen! It's insulting.

Marc:
It's inexcusable!

Claire:
It's delicious. What's that web address?

Marc:
Uh, yeah, I'll write it down—

Wilhelmina:
Don't even bother. I'll have my lawyers draw up a cease and desist order immediately. As if I didn't have enough queens to shut down right here at Mode. [glances at Marc]

Amanda:
[to Betty] You must be so excited to be honored by the Big Lesbian Order of Bloggers.

Marc:
Amanda, I already told you. That's not what BLOB stands for. It stands for Big, Lumpy, Obese Bloggers.

Wilheldiva Hater:
You're meaner than any version of you I could ever do.

Wilhelmina:
Well, I could make an effort to be liked, but I'd rather be hated than inconvenienced. However, if you stick around and shave again, seems I could have it all.

Marc:
Mandy, why did I just see Helen in the closet reading a four-year-old Marie Claire and wiping Cheeto dust off of her fingers with a vintage Prada shift?!

Amanda:
Marc, I tried to fire her, but I couldn't. And I knew if Willie saw her—

Marc:
What happens when she asks about a paycheck?

Amanda:
Oh, I give her Meade money. [pulls out fake bills with Daniel's face on them]

Marc:
Mandy, a fake job and a fake paycheck aren't helping Helen any. And trust me, no good ever came from keeping someone in the closet.

Amanda:
Okay, you just got really deep.

Marc:
I know, and now I have a headache.

Tyler:
I was conceived at a rehab facility. I, uh, guess I was destined to be an alcoholic. [chuckles]

Claire:
I don't think we should joke about that.

Betty:
I could take Hilda horseback riding for her bachelorette party.

Amanda:
Or better yet, naked horseback riding. You're welcome.

Betty:
Gross. And, ow!

Amanda:
Well, I'm out of ideas then.

Betty:
Well, all of your ideas involve nudity.

Amanda:
You're welcome.

Betty:
Stop saying that.

Marc:
Oh, my God, I totally forgot I have that boyfriend, Trey.

Amanda:
Troy.

Marc:
I like Trey better. Or Trevor. We'll talk about it. I'm sure he'll want to weigh in.

Wilhelmina:
[on the phone with Tyler] Slip-ups are inevitable. And it's okay. I certainly know how tempting a perfectly mixed cocktail can be. I can almost taste it right now. [sips martini] It's like a warm hug going down my throat.

Amanda:
Christina, you know what's really weird? You're, like, a big, fancy designer in London, and I'm a big-shot stylist in New York.

Christina:
You're a stylist now?

Amanda:
Well, not in the sense that I have any clients, but I do get to combine all of my favorite interests: criticizing people, shopping, and promoting world thinness.

Amanda:
Here are the earrings that I promised Hilda for her wedding. And here are the diet pills. I want her skinny as a beautiful corpse when your Papi helps her down the aisle.

Betty:
Thank you. And since you've been so helpful, Hilda says you should bring a plus one. Some of our family can't come.

Amanda:
They got deported?

Amanda:
Marc, just give Spencer a chance. You will love him. He's like me, but with junk!

Marc:
I can't, Mandy. I am still grieving over Troy. I don't think I'll ever be able to be in a relationship again.

Amanda:
He's like me with big junk!

Claire:
I don't know how, and I don't know why, but I know you got to Tyler. This has your stink all over it.

Wilhelmina:
Oh, Claire, have you escaped from your handlers again? Or have they allowed you a senior outing?

Claire:
This boy is an alcoholic. He is troubled.

Wilhelmina:
Isn't that the pickled lush calling the kettle black?

Hilda:
[before going in to get married] This is the happiest day of my life. Alright, let's do this bitch!

Justin:
B, how can you move to London? Won't you miss all the kidnapping, shooting, and murder at Mode?

Betty:
Mm, no, not really.

Wilhelmina:
If those idiots want me to save Tyler, they're gonna have to hand over the whole damn company!

Marc:
Oh, Willie, don't say that. That's wrong.

Wilhelmina:
Oh, you're one to be judging me, Marc. After all these years, whenever I needed something that was morally questionable, you were right there with me.

Marc:
You're right. I was willing to do anything for you. You were like my mother, my goddess, my diva. Y-you know, you were— you were my life. I thought that if you had everything you wanted, you'd be happy, but... You'll never be happy. There's always something more.

Betty:
If I go to London, am I being selfish? I feel like I'm letting everyone down—Papi, Daniel, Hilda. Not to mention, it's such a risk—

Justin:
Aunt Betty, you're all about risk. You took a job at Mode magazine. You showed up to your first day of work in a poncho. That reeked of disaster.

Wilhelmina:
I never thought I'd say this, but... you've got big balls, Betty Suarez.

Betty:
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

[After Betty runs into Daniel in London]

Betty:
Hey, if you want something to do, I am looking for a new assistant.

Daniel:
Well, maybe I'll submit my résumé.