Wonder Showzen, Season 1

Clarence:
What are you running from, Guy?"

Guy:
(Jogging) Females.

Clarence:
"Females? There's no females chasing you, I've seen your face.

Introduction:
Todays Wonder Showzen is brought to you by; the letter N, Mexico, and Baby's First Sensual Oil, because you're never too young to set the night on fire.

Kaitlin:
Mr. Chauncey, we have to ask God to put the Earth back together.

Chauncey:
Ask God? Well Thats a great idea, only one problem, the chump ain't real!

Kaitlin:
Well we can't ask God for help unless you believe in God.

Chauncey:
Well I can't just magically believe in something that I don't believe in.

Kaitlin:
Of course you can, Chauncey."

Chauncey:
You mean, if I pretend hard enough I'll believe?

Kaitlin:
All you gotta do is pretend to believe, prove to yourself its okay to deceive. Just tell your mind to lie to your soul and let the fright of god take control. 'Cause, All you gotta do is pretend to believe and you'll meet God up in heaven.

A.P. Gibralter:
In a related story, advances in genetic technologies have allowed parents to customize their babies in the womb. With such awesome accessories as a cup holder, built in CD player, 4-wheel drive, and acne that spells out the name of your favorite band. *the acne is in the shape of the logo of the metal band, Dokken*

Tyler:
The only difference between "Special", and "Wonderful", is . . . Tyler.

Chauncey:
We're gonna be rich.

Him:
Chicken rich.

Letter A:
I got some letters for 'ya. F-U, bitch!

Number 1:
Yea? I got a number for 'ya. Number 2 . . on your chest, jerk!"

Boy:
My daddy needs pills for love.

Chauncey:
Hey brothers and sisters, it's your friendly neighborhood hippie here with a message of peace. We can stop this knife-fight if we all join hands and visualize a big hug in the sky.

Wonder Showzen Girl:
Shut up hippie! You stink, go take a shower!

Boogie Noogie Bunch:
[singing] Boogity munch, we're the Boogie Noogie Bunch! Clouds they snuggle and cookies they smunch! Huggies and'a kissies, cuddles and crunch! We're the Boogie Noogie Bunch!

Number 8:
Numbers and Letters are different as wearing sheets and Kosher meats.

Letter J:
Numbers and letters are different as oil refining and constantly whining.

Number 8:
Numbers and letters are different as driving cabs and worshiping Babs.

Letter J:
Numbers and letters are different as body odor and Rabbi Schroeder.

Number 8:
Numbers and letters are different as declaring Jihad and fasting for God.

Letter J:
Numbers and letters are different as becoming a martyr and liking to barter.

Letter A:
I was born ready to die.

(Two cows, a small white one and a large black one, are grazing in a field)

Milana:
Who would win in a knife fight between these two cows.

John:
Obviously blackie would.

Milana:
Is that a metaphor for our society?

Number 2:
Aww come on Chauncy, just give me a real chance!

Chauncey:
Chance?! You had your chance and you gobbled its balls!

Him:
Him must now eat your brains! Brains! Brains! BRAINS!

Him:
Don't worry, Him get rid of sores.

(Eats one of Wordsworth's sores)

Wordsworth:
Him! Those are contagious.

Him:
Contagiously delicious.

Clarence:
Say, I'm going to be dead tomorrow cause I smoke.

Smoker:
I hope so. I hate this life.

Cooties Spokesman:
Cooties will turn your brain into mush (cooties...), your nipples into lips :(will...), and your dreams into screams (totally kill you, dude...).

Cooties Spokesman:
Cooties may not be fatal or deadly, but then again, it will kill you.

Diversity [1.4]:
Grumpy Boogie: I don't like Noogie Boogie! And I don't their Noogie music with their porch Noogie jungle Boogie beats!