WWE SmackDown!, 2007

[after the Undertaker gets beaten down by Mark Henry following his steel cage match with Batista]

John "Bradshaw" Layfield [as the officials get Mark to leave]:
He said he wanted to make an impact, Michael, and he said there wasn't anything anybody could do about it.

[suddenly Edge's music hits]

Michael Cole:
Wh-whoa - Edge-

[Edge marches towards the ring, Money in the Bank briefcase in hand]

JBL:
You gotta be kidding me. No.

Michael:
No! No...

JBL:
No, come on, Edge, no, not this way! No, damn it! No!

[Edge hands his briefcase to referee Jimmy Korderas and yells out his intention to cash it in]

Michael:
I can't-

[Korderas beckons over ring announcer Tony Chimel and tells him of Edge cashing in his briefcase]

Tony Chimel:
Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been informed that Edge is cashing in his Money in the Bank championship match; so therefore, this is an official championship match for the World Heavyweight Championship!

Michael:
This is not happening! Please tell me this is not happening!

JBL:
It's brilliant. It's brilliant, Michael.

[the bell rings]

Michael [as Edge quickly covers the Undertaker, who is still down from Mark Henry's beating]:
The referee is disgusted! I'm disgusted! [as the referee counts] Here's the cover, hook to the leg, and Undertaker kicked out! Come on, Taker! [as a stunned Edge covers him again] Come on, Undertaker! Cover again! [Undertaker kicks out at 2 again] And again, the champion kicks out!

JBL [as a look of disbelief crosses Edge's face]:
But how much does Undertaker have left?

Michael:
The referee had no choice-

JBL:
He's spent!

Michael:
The referee had no choice but to make this match official. Edge has cashed in the Money in the Bank he won on Raw Monday night. [suddenly Undertaker tries to sit up, much to Edge's shock] And Undertaker-

JBL:
You're kidding me.

Michael:
The beaten Undertaker! [Undertaker collapses back to the mat] Undertaker tried to sit up; he couldn't quite do it! After the assault by Mark Henry, the battle in the steel cage, but perhaps Edge is second-guessing himself here! [Edge is now standing in the corner, waiting for the Undertaker to get back up] What does he have to do to keep the Phenom down?

JBL:
Edge is a shark that smells blood in the water, Michael! He's become world champion like this before, and I don't care how many times the Undertaker sits up, he's got nothing left!

Michael:
Undertaker can't even pull himself up by the ropes! He is a beaten, defenseless, helpless champion! And that piranha-

JBL:
As much as you don't like it, Michael, this is a brilliant, brilliant move by Edge!

Michael:
That sick piranha! That piranha Edge is measuring the Undertaker!

JBL [as the Undertaker finally stands up]:
He's a piranha that could be our next world champion!

[Edge hits the Undertaker with his spear]

Michael:
Spear! [Edge covers the Undertaker and the referee counts to 3] The cover! Not this way! Not this way! Dammit!

[the bell rings and the referee hands the World Heavyweight Championship belt to Edge, then raises his arm]

Tony:
Here is your winner and the NEW World Heavyweight Champion, the Rated-R Superstar, Edge!

Michael:
I am absolutely sick! I am disgusted! The ultimate opportunist has done it, again!

JBL:
This is the second time he's won a world championship like this, Michael, and I don't care how disgusted you are; sometimes, you win by attrition, but what is important is, you win - right there, Michael, is our new world champion, Edge!

Michael:
I can - I'm still trying to...to get it all straight in my mind; I mean, it's shocking, it is startling, Edge is ch- [Edge has marched over to the announce desk, banging it and yelling at Michael] Yeah, it is yours. It is yours, Edge.

JBL:
You're damn right it is!

Edge:
Now I know what you're all thinking. Now I know what you're all thinking, but fear naught, just because I'm hosting The Cutting Edge, that doesn't mean that you won't see me in action here tonight. See, as I understand it, Vickie Guerrero's gonna have a - an announcement for a double main event a little later on tonight, and for your people's sake, let's hope I'm involved.

John "Bradshaw" Layfield:
True.

Edge:
But on to The Cutting Edge and, you know I bet you people think I couldn't outdo myself, because my guest last week was Batista. [crowd cheers] Oh no, but my guest tonight is bigger than that. That's right, I I I, I outdid myself, my guest tonight actually asked to be on The Cutting Edge. And, and his wish is my demand. See, my guest tonight is the chairman of the board of World Wrestling Entertainment. My guest tonight is Mr. McMahon! [Mr. McMahon's entrance hits and Mr. McMahon walks slowly to the ring]

Michael Cole:
Well there is the man who's going through mood swings galore since losing the, the ECW Championship Sunday at One Night Stand. And on Raw, out of control, vindictive, menacing at times, just borderline crazy. But yet on ECW, Mr. McMahon, the complete opposite. Catatonic, almost trance-like at times.

JBL:
He deserves to do whatever he wants, as capricious as it is! He's the chairman of the board, he should be on the hundred dollar bill! He should be President of the United States of America! [Edge is clapping]

Edge:
Mr. McMahon, I wanna, I wanna let you know what a pleasure it is to have you on my show. You know I'm sure this is gonna be a night that I'll never forget. You know, I'm, first things first, I wanna ask you a question that, uh, now I've been thinking all week because I, I'm watching this Monday on Raw and it's kinda been on the, the top of my head and I'm sure all these people have been wondering the same thing and, that's how you feelin'? How, how, how are you doing, Vince?

Mr. McMahon:
[in a trance-like state] They, they all walked through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil, for thou art evil. [crowd chants "You Suck!"]

Edge:
Vince, uh, like I said, I wanna thank you for being on the show. I, I know you have a, an insane, hectic, a busy schedule and I wanna thank you for taking a little bit of time out to, to come out on The Cutting Edge here tonight. I don't wanna dwell on the past, I don't wanna dwell on One Night Stand because the, the future's bright. The future is so bright. You know, this Monday on Raw, we have the, the WWE draft. And like we've all said it, the WWE draft is a, a chance to shake things up. It, it, it's an important night and, I don't know about Monday, but I know Fridays on SmackDown!. They, they do the shaking up. Yeah. And even more important than that, Mr. McMahon, this Monday is Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night. [crowd boos] I'm not gonna disrespect you like, like John Cena. [crowd cheers] Like Ric Flair, or, or even, or even Lashley. I'm not gonna do that because let's face it. The reason that I am in this ring is because you. The reason that all of these people are here tonight. The reason that, that millions of people tune into SmackDown! every week is because of you, Mr. McMahon. And no matter what happened on One Night Stand, you, you haven't lost a thing in my eyes. You haven't lost any dignity because like you said, you, you still have your empire. You still have all of your money. And, and in the squared circle of life, Mr. McMahon, you, you are a world champion. [hands McMahon the World Heavyweight Championship and puts it in his lap, but McMahon doesn't move] Give it up for Mr. McMahon. That's right.

McMahon:
[stands up] You're no better. You're no better. You're no better. You're no better than Cena, you're no better than...Lashley. You're a sycophant! Vengeance. Vengeance is mine. You one-on-one, for that, against Batista. [crowd cheers]

Edge:
That, that, that's not fair. That, that's not fair. I've already beaten Batista twice.

McMahon:
Fair?

Edge:
It's unfair.

McMahon:
Fair?

Edge:
It's not fair.

McMahon:
Fair. Life is not fair. Life SUCKS and then you die. [crowd chants "Batista"] See, regardless of the draft, it's you and Batista for that, do, do or die. You do, he dies. Do or die. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Batista:
Yeah! Hell yeah! Oh, you have no, no idea how good I feel. I'm all dressed up, got my new suit on, got my new shoes on, bam! I'm in Hotlanta! And I am once again the World Heavyweight Champion! Yes! This Sunday, at Unforgiven, I was fortunate enough to overcome the former, let me say that again, the former World Heavyweight Champion, The Great Khali, and my good friend, a man who I respect very much and I was proud and privileged to compete against, Mr. 619, Rey Mysterio. Yes sir. Yes sir. Rey, you're my brother, I love you, and you will be World Heavyweight Champion again. I know it in my heart. But for right now, for me, The Great Khali will exercise the rematch clause in his contract. So as it stands, it will be The Great Khali versus Batista at No Mercy. In what he calls a Punjabi Prison match. [Mark Henry's music hits]

Michael Cole:
Well ladies and gentlemen, the self-proclaimed silverback, the world's strongest man, Mark Henry, who John, Sunday at Unforgiven, gave the returning Undertaker a hell of a physical battle. But what brings him out to confront The Animal tonight?

JBL:
Mark Henry said he's gonna do whatever he wants, and nobody can do anything about it. I think that's what brings Mark Henry out. He's the king of the jungle, Michael. Mark Henry does whatever he wants.

Mark Henry:
Batista, I can care less about this celebration of yours. I can care less about your Punjabi Prison match that you're gonna have with The Great Khali at No Mercy. But what I do care about, is next week. The Undertaker returns to SmackDown! in a match against me. The World's Strongest Man. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna end The Undertaker's illustrious career. Come to think of it, I might need a little warmup for The Undertaker next week. And don't worry, don't worry. I won't even take a shot at your precious new title. Because all these people know, and deep in your heart, you know, that if I want that belt, I'll take it whenever I want it.

Batista:
Mark Henry, you are as stupid as you are ugly. Last time I checked, you were getting your ass handed to you at Unforgiven by the Deadman. You got the nerve, you got the nerve to come out here and call me out? I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. You've had a Batista beatdown coming for a long-ass time. And tonight, you're gonna get it. You want a match? You're on.

Batista:
I grew up a pretty poor kid in Washington, DC. Getting in fights all the time, had to fight my way out of a lot of bad situations. And WWE, same thing. Been in fights A to Z. Street fights, cage matches, you name it. Been there, done that. But this past Sunday, I did something, I accomplished something I thought I might never do. I beat The Undertaker. I, the rivalry between The Undertaker and myself, it's, it's been a war. He's won one, I've won one, we got two draws, in my book, that makes us even. Which is perfect for tonight, since we are tag team partners. So this is what I wanna say. We're not, we have not settled our differences by any means. But Undertaker, tonight, I've got your back and my question is, I'm wondering if you've got my back. 'Cause if you don't [The Undertaker's gong goes off and The Undertaker appears]

The Undertaker:
You can rest assured, I got your back. Because you still have the one thing that I want.

Batista:
Are you saying you want a rematch? Done. You've got it. [drops the microphone and prepares to leave the ring]

Undertaker:
Batista. Hell in a Cell!

[Hornswoggle attacks Jonathan Coachman]

JBL:
Referees don't do that.

Michael Cole:
Well, when you're a McMahon, you can do whatever you want to do, right?

JBL:
Oh, that's a good point.