WWE Superstars of Wrestling, 1987

[Piper's Pit; Roddy Piper walks out to where a six foot tall golden trophy is standing]

Piper:
Nineteen hundred and eighty seven and I'm still alive!! In the true fashion of Piper's Pit, I have something that you can tell very prestigious and possibly the most important Pit I have ever done in my life. Obviously, we have here a presentation and to do the presentation, I would like the president of the WWF, Jack Tunney to please come out here and issue the presentation.

Jack Tunney:
Thank you.

Piper:
Pleasure to have you here.

Jack Tunney:
Ladies and gentlemen, we are very delighted to help honor a very special man on a very special occasion. Let me read what it says on this trophy. "Three years ago this week, you captured the WWF heavyweight championship belt in a memorable battle. You are one of the greatest athletes in the history of sports. You are a champion who has raised wrestling to heights never before scaled. You are one of America's most patriotic citizens. You are loved and idolized by men, women and children of all ages. You are the single most recognizable star in the entire world. We salute you on the third anniversary of your reign. Let's all honor the one and only, Hulk Hogan!"

[Hulk Hogan comes out to accept the trophy]

Piper:
It's yours!

Hogan:
Unbelievable. You know, January 23rd, 1984 when I won the world title, I knew there was something special man. I knew there was some kind of electricity. But I never believed three long years down the road, thousands of people just like you would all turn into hulkamaniacs. And to receive an award for something I believe in, the training, say your prayers and eat your vitamins, to be rewarded for living this thing, this is unbelievable. This has got to be just as great as I won the world title. This has got to be just as great as the first time I saw all you hulkamaniacs. And from here, it's higher and higher we go. This is unbelievable. Unbelievable.

[Andre the Giant comes out]

Piper:
Whoa! Ladies and gentlemen, Hulk Hogan's best friend, Andre the Giant! I'm sure you've come here for congratulations and I'm sure you have something to say.

Andre:
Three years to be a champion. It's a long time.

Piper:
A long time yes.

[Andre gives Hogan a big handshake, squeezing Hulk's hand a bit tight]

Piper:
Well, well, nice trophy, a nice trophy here. Here you go Hogan, thanks to you. World's heavyweight champion, Hulk Hogan!

[Piper's Pit; Roddy Piper comes out to where another trophy is standing.]

Piper:
Yeah, you can tell it's 1987 by the way I wash my hair. We have real special Pit again this week as you can see, standing to my right. We had an exceptional one last week and without further ado, I would like to again bring out the president of the WWF, Jack Tunney to present this special award. Mr. Jack Tunney.

Jack Tunney:
Thank you very much Roddy. We are very pleased to honor another extraordinary WWF hero. I'll read what's on the trophy. "This man is the all time greatest athlete in the history of wrestling. This man is the only undefeated wrestler in the WWF's history. Please join me and saluting the one and only Andre the Giant!"

Piper:
[As Andre comes out] In living color, Andre the Giant! This is a very special and prestigious award and you are very deservedly so. You are a tremendous athlete and I am proud to be part of giving you this award and I am sure that you must have some things to say to your many many fans.

Andre:
Well, yeah. I have only one thing to say.

[Hulk Hogan comes out]

Hogan:
I'm more excited about this I think than you are Andre! You know, this is about time man that they recognize the greatest athlete of all times! Not only is he undefeated man, Andre the Giant is the greatest role model. When I had to pattern myself, I wanted to be like Andre. His sense of fair play, the sportsmanship, the way all over the world he's been kind to all the little kids. Andre the Giant is number one and WWF, I'd like to thank you for recognizing in my book, the real champion of superstars all over the world, that's Andre--

[Andre decides to walk out]

Piper:
I'm sure, I'm sure that-- [Sees that Andre is gone]

Hogan:
That's the biggest package of modelsty you'll ever see. How about it for Andre?

[Both Piper and Hogan question as to why Andre left]

[Piper's Pit; Piper has both trophies standing in front of him. Hogan's trophy is noticeably bigger than Andre's]

Piper:
Look at this, this seems to be the year for awards here. My next guest here for some reason is stirring up a lot of controversy over these particular awards. I don't know why he's creating so much hassle over them. I thought the awards were given very nicely. However, my next guest, Jesse "the Body" Ventura. The Mike Wallace of professional wrestling. I'd like Jesse the Body Ventura to come out here if he wants to. [Jesse comes out] Wonderful, just wonderful to see you here. And for some reason, I know that you're a fine athlete and that you have confused a lot of people. But brother, this ain't Punky Brewster. You ain't pulling nothing over me. For some reason, you're stirring up a whole lot of stuff about these two awards for no particular reason and I for one don't understand it.

Jesse:
I'm not stirring up nothing Piper. All I'm saying is this, there was a reinstatement that took place of Andre the Giant a while back. Right?

Piper:
Yeah.

Jesse:
Now, this reinstatement right away, it was fishy to me. I mean, Andre wasn't at it. He didn't even attend.

Piper:
Have you heard him talk?

Jesse:
Bobby "the Brain" Heenan was there. Now, you know, they're bitter enemies. Andre gets reinstated. Now that caused me to wonder just what is going on here? And Jesse the Body Ventura, nobody hides nothing from me, and I went out and I found out just what was going on and you can't believe what was going down. What the Body knows is going to happen.

Piper:
Okay, wait a second. I am interested. Tell me what is going down?

Jesse:
Well, it's like this Piper. You know when you've got a jewel, like the crown jewel? That only you have? It's like knowledge and what has happened here, it's worse than Watergate, it's worse than Irangate, it's worse than all of it. And the Body has this knowledge like the crown jewel.

Piper:
What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Get to the point.

Jesse:
I'm getting to the point. I know, you don't, nobody else knows and I ain't talking! Ha, ha, ha!

Piper:
Wait, wait wait. That's what most of the liars, most of the people that are full of bull, that's what they say to me! That they don't want to say nothing, that they're confused. "I ain't gonna tell you!" Ohhh. come on Jesse! Tell me!

Jesse:
Hey, I'll tell you what I want to talk about. I want to talk about Andre the Giant and these trophies.

Piper:
What about them?

Jesse:
What about them? Here's Hogan's trophy, looks about one foot bigger, don't it?

Piper:
Yeah?

Jesse:
Yeah, Andre's looks a foot smaller. Now you take a look at the records man! Andre the Giant, fifteen years he has never been beaten! Fifteen years. Hulk Hogan has been champion for three years and believe me, he has ducked some people.

Piper:
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, get a load of Gertrude around here! I have fought both of them. There ain't nobody more qualified than me and nobody ain't ducking nobody around here! I know that Hogan, doggoneit, if anyone's gonna say it, I'm gonna say it. He's got this trophy. He's earned it!

Jesse:
Yeah he might have. Look at this one, this one's real gold! What about this one? (Andre's) Feel that. Feels like rotten old lead or something. You know, Piper, It's obvious, both you and I have a difference of opinion here!

Piper:
Yeah, it is obvious!!

Jesse:
A big difference!!

Piper:
Yeah, so what the hell you want me to do about it?!!

Jesse:
Well, I'll tell you what Piper, there's two ways we can settle this!

Piper:
What?

Jesse:
The first way is you and I step into the ring!

Piper:
Welllllllll!! Fine, be fair brother! [takes off his belt and shirt] You want to go now?!

Jesse:
There's a second way!

Piper:
Ohh, now there's a second way to settle this!

Jesse:
The second way to settle this is to get the two men involved out here in a discussion! Just a discussion. And I'll tell you what, Andre the Giant owes me a favor. I will produce Andre the Giant right here next week! Can you produce Hogan?

Piper:
You damn betcha man! You want em one on one? I'll get Hogan! You get Andre! Aunt Jemima, you do your best! [leaves]

[Piper's Pit]

Piper:
I promised it to you this week. I ain't gonna fool around, I promised-- (Jesse Ventura grabs the mic)

Jesse:
Hey, I got one thing to say Piper, my man is here. The man who I promised is here. What about you?

Piper:
My man you're talking about?

Jesse:
My man's here.

Piper:
Ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome the heavyweight champion of the world, Hulk Hogan! (Hulk comes out) My man is here!

Jesse:
I'm impressed and I don't impress easy. Now, for this discussion, may I present, fifteen years undefeated, the eighth wonder of the world, seven foot four, five hundred pounds, (Bobby Heenan leads Andre the Giant out) Andre-- woah! the Giant!

Hogan:
Wait! What's going on here? Hold on man. What are you doing with him? You guys aren't together, come on man. Andre, what are you doing here with Heenan? What's wrong? Andre, man, you can't be here with him. Don't you know what Heenan's done to me? To these people out here since you've been gone? It can't be so! Andre, listen to me, day one when I set my eyes on you brother, you're the reason why I got in professional wrestling. You were like a god to me, a role model! You can't be here with him man! You're the one who took me all the way from nothing to the world's title! Andre, you can't be with him man.

Bobby:
Let me tell you something--

Hogan:
No, no, wait one minute! You're the one who taught me man about respect for the fans, about helping the kids. You're the one who taught me good sportsmanship. You set the mold for me to follow man! What are you doing here with him?

Bobby:
I'll tell you what he's doing here with me. He's sick and tired of you and what you stand for! Let me tell you something Hogan, you're the one that for three years as world's champion used this man! You're also the varmint that made this man tick! I can't tell you what they think of! You used this man! They gave him a trophy, but no that wasn't good enough. It was a lower trophy than yours. But you had to walk out and steal that moment! You're so jealous of this man, you can't stand it! This is the man for fifteen years that is undefeated! But did you ever once--

Hogan:
No man, you're wrong! You're wrong, you're wrong! The day when I won the world title, he poured champagne over my head! It was like a bond of friendship. You're wrong Heenan!

Bobby:
Did you ever once, once in your life offer him a championship match? You laughed behind his back!

Hogan:
No Andre! Listen, it's not happening! Tell me it's not so man! Even you came here with him, you don't have to leave with him! (places his hands on Andre) It's not happening!

Andre:
Take your hands off my shoulders!

Bobby:
He's got one more thing to say to you Hogan!

Andre:
Look at me when I'm talking to you! I'm here for one reason, to challenge you for the world championship match in WrestleMania!

Hogan:
Andre, please no it's not happening man. We're friends! We're friends Andre, please!

Bobby:
You can't believe it? Maybe you'll believe this Hogan!

[Andre tears the t-shirt and cross off of Hogan and throws it to the ground, then leaves with Bobby and Jesse]

Hogan:
Andre, what are you doing man? You can't leave like this man! What are you doing Andre? You can't, my cross, the shirt! What's wrong with him man? He can't leave like this!

Piper:
You're bleeding.

Hogan:
It's not, Andre come back man! You don't have to leave like this! What has he done?

Piper:
You're bleeding. You're bleeding. Come. Come.

[Piper's Pit]

Piper:
Are you people half as confused as I am? You're doggone right. Three weeks ago, we came on, the beginning of 1987 and presented an award for Hulk Hogan who has managed to be the World Heavyweight Champion for three years in a row. The next week we come out, we give another nice award to Andre the Giant, for fifteen years of pro wrestling without a defeat. The next week, yes, the next week, Gravel Gertie, the Aunt Jemima of professional wrestling, Jesse 'The Body' Ventura, comes out, and he starts stirring up all kinds of stuff. I don't know what's going on, so the next week comes on, you folks saw it, we got Andre, we got Hulk Hogan, the world's champion. Next thing I know, Andre the Giant is tearing the clothes off the World Heavyweight Champion, and if that don't beat all, if that don't beat all, he says...

Andre:
[in flashback] I'm here for one reason, to challenge you for a world championship match in WrestleMania!

Piper:
Ain't that the damnedest thing? So I follow Hogan out. I followed Hogan to his dressing room, I go to the dressing room, I'm serious, I go to the dressing room, he's sitting down like this, I've never seen him like this before, man. He's sitting down, he's got his head down, and I said "Hey, Hogan, what's wrong with Andre?" And Hogan just kinda looked up at me and I looked at him and his eyes were all kinda steamy, and his eyes, and he put his head back down, between his legs, I said, "Hogan, what's wrong?" And he just kinda goes like this to me [swats his hand away] Then I said, "All kinds of people have been asking me questions." I said, "There's only one man in the world that can tell us if he's gonna accept this challenge or not." But wait, wait, I saw Hogan in the hallway, I said "Hogan are you coming on the Pit? There'll be nobody else there..."

[Hulk Hogan slowly makes his way to the pit holding his torn shirt and cross]

Piper:
Ladies and gentlemen, the World Heavyweight Champion, Hulk Hogan! Yo, Yo, look at me. Look at me in the eye Hulk. I don't understand something man. Look at me in the eye please. What's going on with Andre? Please, look me in the eye. I've always known you to be a man at least. Look me in the eye and tell me what's going on with Andre. We want to know!

Hogan:
You don't understand man. I worshipped the guy. He was like a friend man. Everything he was, I wanted to be like him. I watched him on nationwide TV. That's the reason I'm here!

Piper:
Wait a second, I thought he's your best friend.

Hogan:
I thought so. I thought so, man. Like I said, that's why I'm here. I patterned my whole life after him, man. The courtesy, the way he treated people in and out of the ring man. The way he was a good sport brother. That's what I wanted. No, no, no. I knew I couldn't be as big as him man. I wanted to be just like him. I watched him move man. I watched him treat people.

Piper:
Treating people? Ripping clothes off is not my idea of treating people right.

Hogan:
When I saw him with Heenan, I knew he was a different man. I knew Heenan had got to him. I knew something was different. We used to fight for the same things, we used to fight because we believed in the straight and narrow. When I saw him with Heenan, I don't know if it was jealousy, greed, the money, something had gotten to him. But when he pulled this shirt, man, when he ripped the cross off my chest, he didn't just tear it off, he dug in and tore my heart out, man. Why didn't you just take a stake and drive it in my heart Andre? You know something? Now that he's with Heenan, it's all changed man! He's different!

Piper:
Tell me, yes or no, are you or are you not gonna fight him at WrestleMania III for the world heavyweight championship? Yes or no?

Hogan:
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

[It's the contract signing between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant for WrestleMania III.]

Mean Gene:
[after some discussion with everyone] Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. We are here for the most auspicious signing for any title match in history as you all know. Let me introduce just for the record some of the dignitaries who are with us at this time for this historic event. First of all, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan representing the challenger, the eighth wonder of the world from Grenoble France, Andre the Giant. To my right, the heavyweight champion of the world from Venice Beach, California, Hulk Hogan and to my immediate left, the distinguished president of the World Wrestling Federation, Mr. Jack Tunney. Mr. Tunney, get on with the proceedings.

Jack Tunney:
Would you please sign on the dotted line Mr. Roussimoff?

Bobby:
Woah, woah, woah, slow down here Mr. Tunney, Mr. president. A few things I want to go over with you first. When we had a discussion about this championship belt, I want a new championship belt.

Jack Tunney:
That's agreed.

Bobby:
This one was made and designed for this human being and I use that term very very loosely. I want one made that will fit a man. Fit a giant of a man. Somebody that can represent the world of professional wrestling, not this man. [tosses the title aside] And another thing, I just want you to get something straight Hogan. Fifteen years, this man's gone undefeated. The three years you've been world's champion, you've talked behind his back! You've laughed at him! You never gave this man once an opportunity! Now, he's got that opportuni--

Hogan:
[pounds table] SIGN IT IF YOU'RE GONNA SIGN IT!!

[Andre signs the contract]

Jack Tunney:
Will you sign under his name Mr. Hogan?

Hogan:
I've signed a lot of things. Signed a lot of contracts, I never thought it would come to this. I thought it was you (Bobby) man! But it's both of you, you're both sick! You're both sick! If you had wanted a title shot, all you had to do was ask me. I'd a gave you anything man. Andre, you were bigger than the world title to me! Yeah, I'll sign it and I'll get your attention too at WrestleMania. When you tore my shirt off man, when you tore the cross, you tore the heart and soul out of all the little Hulksters man! Not just me! We're gonna get your attention man! We're gonna get your attention!

Andre:
Now that you signed that contract, you think I told you everything I know in professional wrestling? But I didn't and believe me, WrestleMania III will be your last lesson. [starts speaking French]

Hogan:
Speak to me in English when you talk to me! As far as I'm concerned, it's not signed in ink, it's signed in blood!

Andre:
If you want me to speak in English, I will speak in the ring at WrestleMania. Au Revior.

Lanny Poffo:

Just a look at Luscious Johnny V

You know why he's a flop

His dream team has to pay his due

At Beefcake's Barber Shop.

Vince:
Wait a minute, the Islanders are in the ring. They're going to work on Him, Haku and Tama hammering away on Rick Martel.

Jesse:
Right where Martel needs a partner, he ain't got one.

Vince:
Martel getting whipped from post to post. Setting up look at that manuever. Haku and Tama of the Islanders.

Jesse:
Beautiful teaming right there, beautiful.

Vince:
That's Tito Santana

Jesse:
What is this?

Vince:
Santana hammering away on the Islanders.

Jesse:
This is disrespectful, I've never seen so despicable since when Bruno (Sammartino) attacked The Macho Man (Randy Savage).