Xiaolin Showdown, Season 3

Dojo:
I hate the AWAY games. The crowd's always against you.

[Wuya cheering]

Chase Young (Reptile form) and Omi (Cat form):
[in unison] Goat Biting Tail! Horse Skipping Pebble! Cat Playing Fiddle! Duck Flipping Burgers!

Omi (Cat form):
Sparrow Eating Hot Dog! [he then jumps off the rock]

Chase Young (Reptile form):
[Sitting on the rock, surprised] Sparrow Eating Hot Dog?

Omi:
No! It appears you have taught me too well!

Chase Young:
I think the evil inside you is stronger than you think.

Omi:
The good in you may be stronger then you know.

Master Fung:
That is correct. Only ONE would rise, but not until you worked together AS one.

Dojo:
I don't know about you, but I think he makes this stuff up as he goes along. [laughs to himself]

Omi:
We may be outside, but we are not down.

Raimundo:
I think he means we're down but not out.

Bird of Paradise:
I have given you the greatest gift of all.

Clay:
Farm equipment?

Kimiko:
Wuya, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! The game is Meteor Shower. The first to reach the Moby Morpher wins!

Wuya:
And to make it interesting, I wager my Ying Yo-Yo against your Yang Yo-Yo!

Chase Young:
You never mention you have the Ying Yo-Yo.

Wuya:
Oh. Didn't I? Must've slipped my mind.

Omi:
Kimiko, remember, if you enter the Ying-Yang World without both Wu, you will come out evil!

Dojo:
And if you enter evil, you come out good. We may need a score card for this one.

Kimko & Wuya:
[in unison] LET'S GO! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!

Dojo:
Maybe I should take over. I'd like to leave the parallel universe in one piece.

Omi:
Do you know how to fly the Silver Manta Ray?

Dojo:
Please, I was flying before I could crawl. I'm not just a mystical dragon. I'm also a certified pilot!

Raimundo:
Good enough for me! She's all yours, pappy!

Dojo:
Now, let's see if we can pick up the pace a little!

[Silver Manta Ray falling and everybody screaming]

Dojo:
Don't worry! I've got everything under control!

Kimiko:
Maybe we should save the hugs until after we find you what's going on.

Raimundo:
Clay, you know about tractors, maybe you can fix the Silver Manta Ray.

Clay:
Oh, sure Rai, yeah. Tractors and mystical flying transports are like two peas from the same pod.

Omi:
So it appears that it was not Jack who acted so stupid as to free Hannibal Bean, it was [realizing] ME?!

Hannibal [as Jack]:
You got it sweet pea. Moby Morpher! [He turns back into his real form]

Omi:
Enough chat chit! Today victory is mine Hannibal Bean!

Kimiko:
This hardly seems like a fair fight.

Hannibal:
True. Perhaps I should fight with my eyes closed.

[It then cuts to Kimiko and Omi who look very ticked-off]

Hannibal [as Clay]:
Uhh... what in tarnation are you doin’?

Chase Young:
I’m ending what I should have ended years ago.

Omi:
Nooooooooo!

All:
Hyah! Unh! Hyah!

Hannibal [as Clay]:
Moby Morpher! [He turns back into his real form again] Nice to see you again, Chase. Hey, thanks for the assistance. Maybe one day I’ll return the favor. [Continues sinister laughter]

Clay:
[Muffled] I’m afraid we got big problems, pardner.

Omi:
I know. You ripped the words from inside my mouth.

Chase Young:
You fools! You don’t know what you’ve done. You have unleashed the greatest evil the world has ever seen.

Raimundo:
Hmmph! Sounds like end of the world time...again.

Chase Young:
No. it is far worse than that.

Omi:
Now Dojo, you shouldn't kiss a horse on the lips before it gives you its' presents. [They all stare blankly]

Kimiko:
Oh, kiss a gift horse on the mouth.

Everyone:
Ohhhh.

Dojo:
[Puzzled] I thought it was 'look a gift horse in the mouth'.

Dojo:
Whoa! I wonder what my Great-Great-Great-Great Uncle Tiamat sent me? [he unwrapped the present] His bones. How thoughtful.

Jack:
Hey! You're not supposed to be here!

Omi:
Well, what comes in circles goes the other way in circles. [Everyone stares at him]

Wuya:
Somebody translate! I'll be up all night.

Clay:
I'm guessing "what goes around comes around.

Wuya:
Oh, please. That wasn't even close.

Raimundo:
Yeah, but I'm not sure, they're exactly what Omi's expecting.

Omi:
MY LAST NAME IS CRUD?! OMI CRUD?!

Chase Young:
Good morning, little monk. I'm not here to fight you, little monk, but to warn you.

Omi:
Warn me?

Chase Young:
Do you know where the other monks are?

Omi:
Asleep?

Chase Young:
They're in trouble and will your help.

Omi:
I do not believe you.

Chase Young:
Look, into the crow's eyes.

[The crow zooms in and shows Omi that Jack Spicer, Wuya and Hannibal Roy Bean are planning to raid the temple]

Omi:
Why are you telling me this?

Chase Young:
Just something I thought you ought to know, in case you wanted to do anything about it.

Omi:
You want me to leave my parents and forfeit my honor. But I will not even they are old, fat and smelly. They need me and tonight I have to clean their teeth.

Hannibal:
You're talkin' to Hannibal Roy Bean.

Raimundo:
Oh, yeah! Well listen mister musical fruit I eat beans for lunch.

[Omi and Omi robot mother touch the Shen Gong Wu at the same time]

Omi:
[shocked] Mother?!

Robot Mother:
I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown. The game is Bamboo Hopping. First to fall, loses.

Omi:
[heartbroken] My mother…on the side of evil?

Robot Mother:
When you're a parent, you'll understand. I wager my Orb of Tornami against your Lasso Boa-Boa.

Omi:
How'd you get my Orb?!

Robot Mother:
I went through your pocket when you were clipping your father's toenails.

[Camera zooms in on Omi's face, feeling angry over being turned against by his own mother]

Omi & Robot Mother:
[in unison] Let's go! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!

Raimundo:
She's not your mom, she's a robot!

Omi:
[shocked] A robot!?

[The Xiaolin monks furiously turn to Jack Spicer]

Jack:
[gesturing to Wuya and Hannibal; cowering fearfully] Hey, they made me do it. They made build all other robots. Hannibal Bean then used the Moby Morpher to make my robots look like your relatives. If you had any.

Blind Old Man:
[As he's being kidnapped] Hey! Who is that? Where am I? I need to use the bathroom.

Wuya:
[To Jack] What about the treasure chest?

Guardian:
What?! That's disgusting! [Pauses] You- you were talking to me?

Jack:
[Doing a crossword] What's a four-letter word for idiot?

Wuya:
Jack.

Jack:
Perfect!

[Omi is stuck to a cactus]

Kimiko:
Omi! Are you okay?

Omi:
[cringing] I have a thousand needles in my backside! WHAT DO YOU THINK?!

Blind Swordsman:
You have summoned the spirit of the Blind Swordsman, loyal to whoever possesses the treasure chest.

Raimundo:
So, how about showing us how to use our new weapons?

Blind Swordsman:
Open your mind and trust that your weapon will show you the way.

Omi:
Shimo Staff! Ha! Oh ho! My weapon and I are most magnificent! [smooch]

Clay:
Big Bang Meteorang, do your stuff! Ha! Huh? Whoo! Well, I'll be a 3-legged centipede!

Kimiko:
Arrow Sparrow! [Boom] Burn, baby, burn!

Raimundo:
Blade of the Nebula! Huh? Hah! Whoo! I got the power! Hoo! Hoo! I got the power!

Omi:
Come, Dojo. We must rescue the blind old man at once!

[Jack, Wuya, and Blind Old Man touch the sack of Wu at the same time]

Blind Old Man:
I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown Trio!

Raimundo:
Come on, let's take 'em!

Omi:
No, we cannot dishonor his challenge.

Jack:
Our Thorn of Thunderbolt and Silk Spitter against your Mantis Flip Coin and the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman.

Blind Old Man:
The game is Emperor of the Train. Last man standing wins.

Jack, Wuya, & Blind Old Man:
Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown!

Blind Old Man:
Perhaps you I'd like to surrender now.

Jack:
Perhaps you I'd like to keep your disses to yourself, four-eyes!

[Record scratches]

Wuya:
He's blind!

Jack:
Even better! Time to double-team, Mr. No-eyes! Ha ha! Jack's on an evil rant now! Thorn of Thunderbolt!

Wuya:
Silk Spitter!

Blind Old Man:
Mantis Flip Coin!

Raimundo:
Way to kick butt! Especially when you can't see butt.

Omi:
I do not understand. How can someone without sight fight so well?

Blind Old Man:
[Sighs] Again with the questions. It is quite simple. I use my mind to see rather than my eyes. [loudly] DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME BEFORE? That is the secret to the treasure chest. The answers to all your questions lie inside. You just have to look.

Raimundo:
The treasure chest! We left it back on the trail!

Kimiko:
Uh, you left it back on the trail!

Blind Old Man:
Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must find the bathroom.

Omi The Treasure of the Blind Swordsman is gone!

Raimundo:
This is all my fault for leaving it behind.

Clay:
Oh, what no good hombre could have taken it?

Dojo:
Hmm. I have a pretty good idea.

[At night, wolf howls]

Hannibal Bean:
With the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman mine, soon, the rest of the world will follow. Raah! [laughing evilly as its magic shines forth for him]

Omi:
We cannot just stand by and watch Wuya and Jack being chewed up by a big dinosaur.

Kimiko:
You're right. Someone better get the camcorder.

Kimiko:
Check out the spring in my step! Wudai Mars, Fire!

Raimundo:
No, the old hag won't think small like that. She'll be thinkin'...

Clay:
Yeah, anyway, Raimundo. Where I come from we have a sayin' follow the oil.

Clay:
Dojo, you're practically one of them critters! Have any ideas?

Dojo:
[Indignantly] I BEG YOUR PARDON! That's like me saying you're practically a monkey. Just because she speaks with a British accent doesn't make her smart, like a dragon! We fly, breathe fire and chew with our mouths closed!

Omi:
The jig is down! You're at the top of your rope! Spoon over that Wu! [Pauses, everyone stares at him].

Jack:
Oooh, oh! I got it! The jig is up, you're at the end of your rope, fork over the Wu! [Starts dancing and brings out an evil genius ribbon]

Wuya:
Jack, use your Shen Gong Wu!

Jack:
Changing Chopsticks! [shrinks Wuya]

Wuya:
Not me you fool!

Jack:
Changing Chopsticks! [shrinks himself]

[Wuya kicks Jack in the butt and Jack uses the Changing Chopsticks, making themselves normal-sized again]

[T-Rex merely eats it and fires it Kimiko she protect herself, Omi, Raimundo, Clay and Dojo]

Kimiko:
[distance] WUDAI FIRE SHIELD! [As the fire hits leaks in the oil tank, causing an explosion]

[The fallen Ruby of Ramses and Rio Reverso drop to two separate places, and the dinosaur runs towards the Rio Reverso]

Kimiko:
If we don't do something, we would wind up the ones extinct.

Raimundo:
I got us into this but this time I got a plan. [slip n' slides on the oil, swipes the Ruby of Ramses Wu and he and the T-Rex touch the Rio Reverso together] T-Rex, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! My Ruby of Ramses against your Changing Chopsticks.

T-Rex:
Jolly good. The game is Jurassic Chess.

Raimundo & T-Rex:
[in unison] Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown!

Dojo:
You're...sending...me...away!?

Master Fung:
I assure you that I will be here when you get back.

Dojo:
That's what my last master said when he went to for a soda and never returned!

Master Monk Guan:
You will do as I say, and never, EVER ask questions. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?

All:
YES, MASTER MONK GUAN!

Master Monk Guan:
Good. Now, any questions? [Raimundo raises hand] HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!? WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT QUESTIONS!?

Omi:
What wise saying do you have for us?

Master Fung:
...I have none.

Raimundo:
C'mon, you can whip out one of those old cheesy sayings...[Master Fung makes an angry face]...that we all love.

Master Fung:
I am afraid I am out of any 'cheesy sayings'.

Dojo:
If you want I can give you your file. [Pulls out an extremely large folder of paper. Master Fung makes another angry face] Not that you would need a file like that. [hides folder with a wide grin]

Omi:
This cannot be happening...Our Bobo is turning to the darkside. Again!

Raimundo:
The name is Raimundo. Not Bobo!

Clay:
Raimundo, what in the Sam Hill are ya doin?

Kimiko:
We're your friends.

Raimundo:
I got all the friends I need right here.

Hannibal:
Poor little guy is like a fish outta water! [evilly laughing]

Omi:
Solution is most simple! Raimundo must never sleep again!

Omi:
During my shift, I shall keep you awake with the most ancient training method known as [hold a bucket of cold water] DODGE THE BUCKET OF ICE WATER!

Raimundo:
Huh? [cold water hits his face, which get frosted with ice] WHOA!

[Omi breaks the ice off of Raimundo, who shivers]

Omi:
You may need some practice, even though you will never be as good as me.

Raimundo:
[yawns] Would it kill ya to get some reclining seats, Dojo.

Dojo:
Please return all complaints to their full shut-up position, as we approach our final destination: Jack Spicer's lair.

Kimiko:
Come on! Work it like you own it.

Raimundo:
I think I'm gonna [yawns] just freestyle.

Dojo:
Oooh, I got it! Trouble with a stuffed animal. Those things can get so surly.

Master Fung:
I miss you, too. But you must stop calling every 5 minutes!

Dojo:
Master Fung...who's that?

Master Fung:
Uh, Dojo, this is Frenchy Foo. Just an old friend passing through.

Dojo:
[gasps] Another dragon!?

Master Fung:
Dojo, it isn't like that.

Omi:
[To the Xiaolin monks] Monks, double your efforts....Raimundo...Triple yours.

Kimiko:
Jack Spicer, you’re like so not getting this Wu!

Jack:
"Jack Spicer, you’re so like not getting this Wu!" Wrong! Meet my new Fishbots.

Dojo:
Great morning, young monks and the pitiful in need of assistance.

Kimiko:
Wait, you know each other?

Dojo:
[to Chucky] You no good, yo-yo thief!

[Chucky Choo screams as Dojo tackles him]

Omi:
I guess...will be yes.

Dojo:
Alright, I'll give it he's handsome. But Chucky Choo, it's more slippering...

Clay:
Uh...Baby oinker in a pig-catching contest?

Dojo:
Yeah! When you shake his hand you better come your fingers. I'm pretty sure how you're lost my feet. [struggling]

Kimiko:
There must be some mistake!

Chucky Choo:
No. No, there is...no mistake. Dojo's right in all accounts.

Dojo:
Liar! Don't listen to him! Because he...[exclaims] go on.

Chucky Choo:
It's true. I was once a bad dragon. Who did bad things. But the worst thing I ever did, was the lose of friendship of mind closes friend. I changed since then. And I hope one day. I'll be lucky enough earn that friendship. What do you say, Dojo?

Omi:
Dojo, keep your ears on the game!

Raimundo:
Omi, you gotta be doing that on purpose.

Dojo:
The Denshi Bunny Wu is more impressive than its name suggests.

Raimundo:
So, it doesn't make you a bunny?

Dojo:
Noooo. That would be just plain, silly.

Jack Spicer:
Shadow Slicer, Shadow Slicer, Shadow Slicer, Shadow Slicer.

[Omi, Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay dives at Jacks, but it was a Shadow Slicer hologram]

Jack Spicer:
Jack is on his game. Smell you later, losers! [laughing while he flies off with their Shen Gong Wu]

Jack Spicer:
That's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?

Hannibal Roy Bean:
My guess, an extra chromosome.

Raimundo:
Whoa! My boom box is possessed!

Omi:
Well, too prove myself worthy of being your leader. I must solve of your elemental Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo:
You did what!?

Master Fung:
Omi, that was most unwised. So much un-restrength power could lead to great dangers.

Hannibal Roy Bean:
I hate to rain on your parade snowball, but I do not think so!

Master Fung:
Hannibal together with Wuya could mean the end of the world..

Raimundo:
Where have I heard the before? Oh yeah! "PREVIOUSLY ON XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN"!

[Kimiko then shows Jack Spicer a video on her laptop]

Omi (imitating Wuya):
Do not underestimate Jack Spicer. Those bubble-bots are genius.

Clay (imitating Chase Young):
Spicer has taken his martial arts skills to a new level.

Raimundo:
[offscreen] Dojo, get out of that shot!

Kimiko (imitating Hannibal Roy Bean):
He is truly evil incoming.

Jack Spicer:
Yes! It is time to make my move. Dark Prince Jack-o is back on top-o!

Kimiko (disguised as Jack Spicer):
I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown Trio!

Hannibal Roy Bean:
I'll wager my Moby Morpher against your Conch and Chase's Serpent's Tail.

Chase Young:
I will fight without Shen Gong Wu.

Kimiko (disguised as Jack Spicer):
The game is Last To Drop Wins. [in unison with Hannibal and Chase] Let's go, Xiaolin Showdown!

Kimiko (disguised as Jack Spicer):
Mind Reader Conch!

Chase Young:
I locked away that foolish vegetable once, I'll do it again

Hannibal Roy Bean:
You cross the wrong Bean, when you cross Hannibal Roy Bean! [Throws a big chunk of rock]

Kimiko (disguised as Jack Spicer):
Mind Reader Conch!

Hannibal Roy Bean:
That Chase has girly hair, a real warrior shaves his head like me.

Chase Young:
Hah! You could pour fertilizer on your head and nothing would grow! [smirking]

Hannibal Roy Bean:
ERRRRR! MOBY MORPHER!

Raimundo:
[To Kimiko (disguised as Jack Spicer)] Yeah, you go girl-[shocked] boy.

Chase Young:
[To Kimiko (disguised as Jack Spicer)] You surprised me, Spicer. I'm rarely surprised, but never fooled. [Sniffs] By the way, love the perfume.

Hannibal Bean:
I see you've brought your kittens to do your fighting.

Chase Young:
[Referring to Wuya] And I see you've brought my housekeeper to do yours.

Dojo:
I have TENS all around!

Omi:
I suppose beating Jack in the most colorful manner is the tie-breaker!

[all grin evilly at Jack as they converge on him]

Jack:
No, no! You can't! WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE YOU?! [screaming as they attacking on him]

Raimundo:
You know, if it weren't for Chase, we'd be so much further along in our fight against evil.

Omi:
I fear I have ruined the future.

Old Master Fung:
Remember this young monk, the future can always be changed.

Old Raimundo:
Every once in a while, the old dude still spits out words of wisdom. But mostly he just spits.

Old Raimundo:
Guys, this is a test we've been waiting for. I'd say we breaking in the palace, and take back of Sands of Time.

Old Clay:
Oh, we're not exactly the lame mean rotten machine we'll will once more.

Old Raimundo:
First, you were never lean. And second, we're still Xiaolin warriors. We fought together once, and we can do it again. It's up to us now. The Shroud of Shadows!

Old Raimundo:
Kimiko, take the Denshi Bunny and turn yourself into a electricity. Then, travel through the wires until you'll find the Wu vault where Jack keeps his Wu. I used the conch to the location.

Old Kimiko:
What's that? Oh, never mind. I'll look around to see where Jack keeps this Wu. [coughs] Denshi Bunny.

Old Raimundo:
Omi! Use the Sands of Time! Make sure it never happens. Go!

Dojo:
Sands of Time!

[Activates the Sands of Time to taking them back 1,500 years ago]

Omi:
[sobs] No.

Grandmaster Dashi:
Dojo, you look different. Kinda...chunky

Dojo:
Hey! That's muscle!

Omi:
This is my HOME!?

Raimundo:
I'd much rather fight evil than mud-wrestle some pig.

Clay:
Woah there, partner. This is not "some pig". All pigs are special in their own way.

Kimiko:
And what makes you so sure?

Clay:
That may be but it don't mean diddly, if we can't bust our way out of here.

Raimundo:
We can escape! If I drink the Lao Mang Lone Soup.

Kimiko:
No, you can't! It'll turn you evil!

Raimundo:
But it'll give you guys enough time to escape.

Raimundo:
So, we need to stop Omi from freezing himself into the future, so he won't go into the past, where he did what he did which resulted in what happened. Simple!

Raimundo:
No, I didn't come this far to lose. We will find a way to win. It's our destiny.

[Jack Spicer falls from above while screaming and lands on the four villains as Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko and Clay walk backwards]

Raimundo:
The game is Rescue the Damsel in Distress. First to save the damsel wins. Let's go.

Both:
Xiaolin Showdown!

Omi:
Dojo, you're saved!

Dojo:
Oh, sweet prince. My hero!

Kimiko:
What's going on?!

Raimundo:
My guess, two parallel universes running into each other in a cosmic timeline continuum power up.

[Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko, Clay and Dojo shake their bodies after they return to the temple]

Master Fung:
I hope you have learned well from your quest.

Raimundo:
I'm not quite sure what just happened. But I'll know, I'll never forget it.

Omi:
What happened? Really happened?

Jack Spicer:
[screams when he appeared behind Clay while Raimundo and Kimiko turn their heads] I wanna go home! [screams as he starts to run out of the temple while he freaks out]

[Last lines of the series]

Master Fung:
As I told you, a leader would rise from the quest, and now... one has.

[Raimundo is suddenly lit up, and as he's engulfed by the light, his original red robes and his medallion soon disappear and are replaced with a black robe with a dragon on the sleeve and a red sash on him, revealing that he has become the official leader of the team]

Kimiko:
Way to go, Rai! [Jumps into his arms and kisses him on the cheek]

Clay:
You did it, partner!

Raimundo:
[He has look of amazement, Kimiko jumps into his arms and kisses him on the cheek] I-I don't know what to say. Except I never thought it would be me...[Kimiko and Clay give him a look]...Well maybe a little.

[Raimundo then notices Omi standing behind Master Fung with a let down look on his face. However Omi comes out from behind Master Fung and sheds a few small tears... as from the moment Master Fung told Omi about the new students coming to the temple, Omi vowed to be a great leader. Omi, with tears in his eyes spreads a smile across his face. He and Raimundo bow to each other at the same time. Master Fung, Dojo, and the chosen ones smile too. Then, an explosion outside the temple occurs. Monks notice that every single villain they've encountered during the series are there with their original enemy, Jack Spicer smiling]

Master Fung:
[to chosen ones, especially Raimundo who's busy removing his bandages before taking a second to survey their enemies] Now that you have risen to Shoku Warrior, your job has only begun. The survival of the world depends on you.

[With that, the team launch themselves into battle against the Heylins]

Dojo:
Not too much pressure there...

[It then cuts to show Kimiko, Clay and Omi whose dots have begun to glow, running alongside each other and seconds later, Raimundo appears. As they edge closer, Raimundo then jumps into the air and prepares to launch a kick just as the screen goes black]

Omi, Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay:
HAAIIIYYA!