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Satan: Stan. You know who I am? I'm Hillary's bottom bitch. Gary Bunda: Ooh. Satan: Or am I the guy gay-married to Obama? Stan: Well, you know, this is a private bathroom. No fans. Satan: Well... [chuckles] You know, listen. I think it's funny what you're doing, but I'm gonna need you to tone down that satanic stuff. Stan: Oh, I'm sure you'd like me to tone it down, but you can't hide the truth, Mrs. Obama. [chuckles] Satan: Well, the truth is, Stan, I'm gonna turn your ass inside out if you don't stop talking about me. Stan: Ooh, I'd like to see you try that. [takes his shirt off] I got 30 pounds of muscle mass right here that I got from my patented vitality insta-shake. So let's bring it. Come on. Gary Bunda: I don't want to fight you. 'Cause you look good. Claude: I don't really... [Satan steps back from Gary and Claude to use his demon powers to literally turn Stan inside out of his body while staying alive] Gary & Claude: OOH! Satan: I told him I was gonna do it. I just -- I -- Gary Bunda: We ju-- Okay! [to Stan] Sir? Sir, I know I have to yell because your eardrums are inside of you, okay? I can feel your panic. Okay? Just calm down. Satan: Hurry. I need a, uh, a piece of his clothing. Gary Bunda: [to Stan] Sir, I'm about to put my hand inside of your asshole. Is that okay? Give me an indication that that's okay. Claude: [to Gary] Would his shirt work? The one he just took off? Satan: Thank you, Claude. Gary Bunda: Pulling his slacks through his asshole is a lot harder than it sounds. [Satan use Stan's America state pin to disguise as Stan the Man] Satan (as Stan): This'll work. Gary Bunda: I got a whole handful of his slacks. You don't want these? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Stan: The Russian have nuclear bombs. We don't. The Russians can obliterate us, annihilate us. We can't do the same to them. Why? Because Hilary Clinton sold the uranium to the Russians so she could start a string of liquor lounges, pornographic book stores, and strip bars. I'm Stan the Man. I'll break it down for you after the break. [Stan gets off on air] Stan: [to Snowflake] I'm gonna drop a Clinton in the toilet. Be back in three. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Claude: [to Satan] I told you the Obama impersonator was a bad idea. You're just feeding right into Johnny's paranoid narrative. Gary Bunda: [to Satan] I don't understand why you even care about this. Just turn him inside out like you do me. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Fake Obama: Well, it is just so great to meet you, Satan. For the very first time ever. Satan: You see that, Johnny? We're, uh, we're not married. We're not gay lovers. Fake Obama: I can see that Johnny here has been through some tough times. Johnny: I don't see any Secret Service here. Fake Obama: They -- They didn't fit on, uh, Air Force One. Satan: That's right. Johnny: Air Force One is a big jet. Or didn't you know that? Fake Obama: I know that. I just took the smaller one. It was just Air Force Three. I just remembered. [Johnny whips Obama] Fake Obama: GODDAMN YOU! Johnny: You're a fake Obama, and you two are lovers! Everybody's a Muslim! Satan: Johnny! [Johnny leaves] Satan: [to Fake Obama] Air Force Three? Fake Obama: What do you expect for a hundred bucks, dude? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Satan: Hey, buddy, we missed you at the meeting. What's going on? Johnny: I ain't your buddy. I may work for you, but I'm not rubbing elbows with a guy that caresses Obama's butt cheeks. Satan: [chuckles] I don't know what you heard. I've never touched his butt cheeks. Johnny: Save your lies for the liberal snowflakes. I know you're evil. Satan: Yeah. Johnny: But I don't like you and Obama putting soy sauce in the water. Satan: I-- I'm not with Obama. It's -- Johnny: Stan the Man says that soy has got estrogen. That's why the vegetarians like it because they're making themselves into women. But it gets in the water table, make the bees gay, and now we're paying for all these sex change operations for these guys in the military. Johnny: I ain't gonna let no bee make me gay. I take the supplements. [shows Satan a protein jar product of Stan's Freedom Whey Insta-Shake] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
[Johnny taking a break through whipping tortures while listening to Stan on radio about truths of America] Stan: The Hollywood globalists are adding food coloring to all of the white foods. White mayonnaise is illegal in Los Angeles. It has to be brown by law. Brown coleslaw -- They're calling it "Sharia Slaw." Can you believe this? People, it's not racist to say we should eat white foods in America. And that's Stan's Stance. Back after the break. [music plays] Eddie: [to Johnny] Hey, I -- I -- I -- I -- I bet Sharia Slaw tastes just as good as the -- [Johnny whips Eddie] Eddie: AAH! AAH! AAH! Dizzay: Hey, Johnny? Does this thing get music? [Johnny whips Dizzay] Dizzay: Damn, Johnny! It's my radio, man! Johnny: Don't. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Satan: Where's the, uh, the creepy guy? Claude: Johnny? Satan: Yeah. William: He ain't here because of you making the bees gay. Satan: [pauses] ...What? William: He said, uh, you're working for Obama on his gay bee agenda and -- And you and him are lovers and -- And you got married in a secret ceremony. Benji: [happy] You didn't tell us. Satan: Okay, first of all, I am not married to Obama. William: He also said you're a Muslim. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Rectangular Businessman: Oh, look, I'm back. Shark: Did you buy a harmonica? Rectangular Businessman: Did you get the car started? Shark: Did you get your harmonica started? – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Shark: Ok, I'm just gonna barely touch the key. No, no, not yet Now we'll just ease into it, to lightly rubbing the key with my fin. I'm just gonna barely touch the key. You won't even know I'm doing it. Just lightly caressing the key -- And START. [engine sputtering] Shark: Come on, why are you not doing it? Come on. Come on. [Shark's car suddenly runs out of gas] Shark: Perfect. That's great. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Rectangular Businessman: I don't even know how to play a harmonica. Rectangular Businessman: But I want one. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Shark: [to his car] Please start. [engine sputtering] Shark: You're making a fool of me. [engine sputtering] Shark: I don't even know what I'm hearing. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Rectangular Businessman: I could afford to buy all these, but I just want one. The best one. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Shark: [to his car] Come on. Come on. I know you want to. For the love of me, turn on. [Shark's car starts to feel a bit of power] Shark: Alright, now -- Ok. Now we're close, I can feel that. This is it. This is the one. [Shark's car starts to lose power again] Shark: [pissed] You barely piece of suck-ass car. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Rectangular Businessman: I equate harmonicas with the blues, and -- The blues to the poor. Rectangular Businessman: But I still want one. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Shark: [to his car] Come on. I know you want to. Start for me. I'm touching your little button. [engine revving] – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Shark: Alright. Ok. This is the one. This is the one. 50th time's a charm. [engine sputtering] Shark: Would you please start, car? – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
[continuing Shark revving up his car] Rectangular Businessman: I should have expected this from your poos ass. Shark: I'm trying to start the car. [engine sputtering] Shark: Where are you going? Rectangular Businessman: To buy a harmonica. A very rich harmonica. Shark: Oh, so you're just gonna leave. Not cool. Rectangular Businessman: I just feel ever so inclined to buy a harmonica...made of gold, encrusted in diamonds, then dipped in gold, and rolled around in more diamonds. It's deadly to vampires, you know. Or is it werewolves? I forget which. They're both poor. Shark: You are not helping the situation. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
[Shark tries rev up his car to get it going again] Shark: Come on, baby. Come on, baby. [engine sputtering] Shark: Yeah. Come on, baby. Crank it up. [engine sputtering] Shark: Now, come on, baby. Why are you not doing it? Rectangular Businessman: I think this piece overheated. Shark: I think you should shut up. Rectangular Businessman: Keep trying. Maybe you'll get it this time. Shark: [to his car] Come on, sweetheart. [engine sputtering] Rectangular Businessman: [wheezes] Oh, look, it didn't start again. Shark: [to his car] Come on, baby. [engine sputtering] Rectangular Businessman: Your car sucks. Maybe if I, uh, throw money at it, it'll start. Shark: Yeah, uh, are you a mechanic? Because I'm not. But still, shut up. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
[Fitz heard some banging above the door bunker] Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: The music knows we're down here. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: There's enough guns down here to take out a town about -- Well, about this size. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 1 day ago
Satan: [to Goody] [chuckles] I gotta tell you again, I'm sorry, I guess I misjudged you. Gary Bunda: Yeah, you did. Literally misjudged him. Goody Goody: Gary, thank you for everything. No hard feelings. Gary Bunda: [shook hands] Good luck up there, big guy. [Goody tries to eat Gary's hand] Angel #3: [shows by the elevator] Uh, is this Ignatius? Satan: Yep. Angel #3: Alright! [Goody went inside with the angel] Gary Bunda: [to Angel #3] You're doomed. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 days ago
Keith: On the charge of eating meat on a Friday, we find the defendant...not guilty. But on the charge of eating people on a Thursday, yeah, he's definitely guilty. Gary Bunda: Thank you. Satan: Look, I don't want to legislate from the bench, but the Bible simply does not mention cannibalism as a sin. Gary Bunda: WHAT? Satan: But you're finding against the defendant? Keith: Yes. We find the defendant guilty. [all of the torture jury people suddenly got their heads blown off by themselves turning into Satan] Satan #2: [clears throat] I'm sorry, I meant to say that we find the defendant not guilty. Satan #3: Not guilty. Satan #4: Not guilty. Satan #5: Not guilty. Satan #6: Not guilty. Satan #2: My bad. All Cloned Satans: Not Guilty. Not guilty. My bad. Gary Bunda: WHAT JUST HAPPENED? Satan: My hands are tied here. I have to find the defendant not guilty. Gary Bunda: WHY DID WE EVEN DO THIS? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 days ago
Satan: Where's my prosecutor? Troy: I'm here. [Troy comes back by sliding on the floor where half of his body is eaten from Goody] Troy: I would like to drop all charges against Goody Goody. Gary Bunda: What, he can't go to heaven -- He's a cannibal. He has no business in heaven. I agree with Troy. Troy: I agree with you, Gary. Gary Bunda: I'm agreeing with you. Troy: Shut up, Gary! Shut up! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 days ago
[Goody sees someone using the bathroom] Goody Goody: I gotta go take a whiz. Gary Bunda: Just make sure not to eat anybody on the WAY TO THE BATHROOM! [cuts to the next scene where before the court started, Goody came by, by having blood marks on his face after eating someone in the bathroom] Gary Bunda: [surprised] That was a joke. You couldn't get a napkin? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 days ago

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