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[Satan begins the Judgement Day, but does not see the scenery of how the world is suppose to be like] Satan: [evil voice] Judgement Day has arrived! May the scourge of your sins reign down up you -- [normal voice] Where are my, uh, the locusts? Gary Bunda: [far away] Don't start it yet! Satan: This doesn't look apocalyptic. Claude: Don't worry. They're coming, It's gonna look good. Satan: It's -- It's, like, supposed to be dark skies and volcanoes. Jesus is coming any second. I'm gonna look like a f*ing idiot! Come on! Gary Bunda: Okay. [Gary comes back with his Pestilence armor and with Benji's body parts in a shopping cart] Satan: What is this? Gary Bunda: It's Benji. I got all the bigger pieces that I could get together after he rotted apart. I guess the penis didn't make the cut. Satan: Where's my global pandemic? Are just going to, like, wipe Benji on a bunch of door knobs? Is that what's going on? Claude: We kind of assumed you would tell us what to do. Satan: This isn't Revelation, Claude. Do I have to micromanage everything? Gary & Claude: [stammering] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
Gary Bunda: The Apocalypse is gonna happen right now, and we're not gonna have our horses. Claude: It's been 2,000 years. You really think the Apocalypse is happening right now, Gary? [alarm sounds] Gary Bunda: What do you think that is? Claude: Sht, it's the Apocalypse alarm! Gary Bunda:* YOU'VE GOTTA TO BE KIDDING ME! Claude: GET ME THE FLAMING SWORD! I'M WAR! Gary Bunda: GET ME THE FLAMING SWORD! I AM WAR! Claude: I AM WAR! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
Dizzay: Yo, yo, yo, yo, I found the horses. [The horses suicidally fall into the lava] Dizzay: Does the manual say about the horses running into the lava? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
[after the Apocalypse Stables got collapsed] Claude: So, we've been here roughly 10 minutes. We've burned down the stables, the horses have run off, and the locusts are gonzo. [Benji painfully vomits blood] Claude: Nice. Gary Bunda: Stop it, Benji. Benji: Does that manual say anything about sick days? Gary Bunda: What'd you say? [Benji's tongue suddenly came off] Benji: Never mind. Gary Bunda: What? Benji: [muffled] Never mind. Gary Bunda: What did you say? Benji: [speaks unintelligibly] Claude: BENJI, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? You're mumbling. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
Dizzay: Damn, man. They didn't even clean up the place before they left. Gary Bunda: Oh, sht. War left his sword up against all this hay. It's got to be some kind of fire code violation! [burns his hand] Aah! Claude:* Get it out. Gary Bunda: It's too hot. You get it out. Claude: I'm War, and I demand the sword out now! Gary Bunda: I'm War, and I command you, as my second lieutenant, to get the sword out now! [as Gary and Claude are bickering each other, the Four Horsemen Of the Apocalypse ambush the employers] Gary Bunda: I will do it because I want do it! [burns his hand again] That is so bad! Dizzay: What the hell? Mosquitoes! Benji: [while being poisoned] Someone lead me to an eye-wash station? [War's flaming sword fires up even more burning up the whole barn] [All the demons escape from the Apocalypse Stables Barn] Benji: [limping] I still -- I still have the chills. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
War: We're walking off the job, Satan, effective now. So good luck if the Apocalypse happens. Satan: Leave that flaming sword! [War disagrees of not leaving his flaming sword] Satan: Good luck! [chuckles] Dust off the resumes. Bye-bye, now. Satan: [to the demons] You guys still here? Let's go! Come on! Get to work. [Gary looks back at the window knowing The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are still here being mad and disappointed from the deal that Satan manages] Gary Bunda: They're, like, right outside. Claude: I...don't know how to ride a horse. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
Famine: Gentlemen, tomorrow we vote on a new union contract. War: And tomorrow, he will hear our mighty union roar. All: Yeah! [cuts to the next scene in Satan's office where they're union didn't work out as they've expected] Famine: You cut back our entire horse count to two? Satan: I think you could put three or four on a horse. I've think I've seen that in movies and things. And the personal chef is gone. You can eat the same slop that the horses eat. Just standard boilerplate stuff, but it's only a third of my original offer. War: Unacceptable. We vote. All in favor of Satan's ridiculous contract proposal, raise your hands. [Famine, Death, Pestilence, and Gary did not raise their hands except for Claude, Benji, Dizzay, and Eddie] Satan: Oh, it's four to four. Gary, I do think you were telling me the other day how much in favor of this new proposal you were. [Gary nods his meaning "no"] Satan: Gary? [Gary then raise his hand] Satan: There we go. We have a majority. Great. War: I should have known this was a big scam. You're all sons of bitches! Famine: Horsemen, ha! More like whores, man. Yeah. Death: Benji! You look just like what you are -- One big scab. [Gary suddenly plays his guitar] Gary Bunda: [singing] Saying sorry just can't convey, just how sorry I am today. War: GIVE ME THAT F*ING GUITAR! [brutally slams the guitar in pieces] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
Pestilence: On behalf of the original four, I brand you The Squire of the End Times Stable. Eddie: Oh, my god! I can't believe it! You're not using a real brand, are you? [cuts to the next scene where the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse starts to brand the logo onto the employees butts] Eddie: AAH! Benji: Do me. Do me. Claude: HHHRNGH! Dizzay: [intense breathing] Famine: [to Gary] Okay, do not move. Do not move. [Famine brands the logo on Gary's back] Gary Bunda: OOH! Famine: You flinched! Oh, man. Now that doesn't look right. I'm gonna have to do the other side. [Famine brands the logo on Gary's back again several times] Gary Bunda: OH, COME ON! Famine: You moved again! Turn around. Let me get your dick, okay? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
Pestilence: [to Dizzay] You I dub Racial Profiling. [cuts to the next scene to Dizzay riding an animatronic bull] Pestilence: [to Claude] You I dub Wealth Disparity. [cuts to the next scene to Claude whipping glass bottles] Pestilence: [to Gary] Ignorant Tweetstorm. [cuts to the next scene where Gary is also riding the animatronic bull] Pestilence: [to Benji] Climate Change Denier. [cuts to the next scene where Benji is also riding the animatronic bull while having the disease from Pestilence] Pestilence: Eddie. We also have brilliant you were at shoveling sht. [cuts to the next scene where Eddie & the demons shovel poop from the horses] Eddie:* CAN WE STOP FEEDING THE HORSES MAC AND CHEESE? I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
Death: To the new horsemen! Benji: [contagious coughs] War: Looks like someone humped Pestilence. Death: Yeah. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
[the demons visits the Apocalypse Stables where The Four Horseman Of the Apocalypse lives] Pestilence: New horsemen. Ha Ha. Ha. He caved to our demands. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. [Pestilence hugs Benji] Pestilence: This is so great. [to Eddie] Welcome. [getting ready to hug Eddie] Eddie: Don't touch me, okay? Yeah, don't you come near me. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 13 days ago
Satan: Gentlemen, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have asked for a higher head count, and well, I'm caving in to their demands. You're all being temporarily re-assigned. All: [cheering] Claude: Satan, I, for one, am thrilled about this promotion, but [breaths] What's the catch? Satan: No catch. I just thought you guys could use a change of scenery. All: [relieved] Satan: And you will have to vote the way I tell you to in the upcoming union contract. Claude: That sounds like a catch. Satan: What is it with this guy and the catch? There's no catch, Claude. Claude: It sound like a catch. I'm sorry. Satan: You know what -- You know what? Hey, you want to play catch? Claude: What? [Satan grabs Claude] Satan: You want to play catch? Hey, somebody -- Catch! [Satan throws Claude out of his lair] Satan: What's the matter? Your Dad never played catch with you? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 14 days ago
Satan: I'm just looking over your new contract proposal, here, guys. Umm, it says here that you want to add more horsemen. Uhh, fellas, the Bible specifically states that there are four horsemen of the Apocalypse. Um -- I...I can't change the Bible. Death: More horsemen would certainly help the workload. Satan: Yeah, see, I'm thinking, what workload, because there hasn't been an apocalypse. Famine: Yeah, but we're always on call. Satan: Yeah, listen, Famine, are you the reason for the mac and cheese and frozen "lustard"? Famine: It's frozen custard for the lactose-intolerance. Satan: Yeah, but it's listed under "horse food." Famine: Our animals crave a diverse diet. Satan: Yeah, they seem to crave crabs and frozen desserts. Listen, "so hungry I can eat a horse" is just an expression. You don't have to literally do it. War: We love those horses! We'd never eat those horses! You son a bitch! [pulls up his firesword] Satan: Hey, hey, hey, hey, just settle down. You know what's good for stress, War? Exercise. Pestilence: That's why we put in for a horseman gym, and modest spa -- Satan: Who the hell would get in a hot tub with you? You're going to turn it into a boiling pot of gumbo. Pestilence: Dude, I'm Pestilence. That's what I do. Satan: And FYI, leprosy is a pre-existing, and you're in a high-risk pool, so upgrading your health insurance policy is not gonna happen. Satan: Listen, I know there's more to your proposal. I just don't have those pages in front of me...because I wiped my ass with them. War: That's it! We're out of here. You've got 48 hours to meet our demands, or we walk. [the Four Horsemen Of the Apocalypse leaves] Satan: Well, this one's not walking. He's riding a f*ing scooter. [referring to Pestilence] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 14 days ago
STRATA Operator #2: Number-12 corked-head screwdriver. STRATA Operator #1: I gave you that one already. STRATA Operator #2: I don't think so. STRATA Operator #1: Well, I did! Check around under there somewhere. STRATA Operator #2: It's not here. STRATA Operator #1: Did you check your ass? STRATA Operator #2: That is not helping! STRATA Operator #1: Sorry. – Saul of the Mole Men (2007)	added by timothyj.29104 15 days ago
Clancy: [to Saul] You got lucky for now. But I'll be back for those stones, so help me, Beet God! Beet God: Huh? Clancy: Nothing! – Saul of the Mole Men (2007)	added by timothyj.29104 15 days ago
[in the previous clips of episode 14 for episode 15, Otnip tries to do a spell on Johnny Tambourine but didn't work this time] Otnip: Flaxen hair and pageboy cut, bell-leg panted and grooving butt. If you meet the preceding physical description, then take a stand. Rise and sow evil in the land! [Johnny had no effect on his spell but still smiling] Otnip: It didn't work! – Saul of the Mole Men (2007)	added by timothyj.29104 15 days ago
Stromulous Guandor: Johnny, pay attention. Saul Malone has the stones. Johnny Tambourine: [nods "yes"] Stromulous Guandor: You are his friend. Johnny Tambourine: [nods "yes"] Stromulous Guandor: Get the stones and bring them back here. Johnny Tambourine: [no response] Stromulous Guandor: [stressed] YEEE! – Saul of the Mole Men (2007)	added by timothyj.29104 15 days ago
[Clancy stars to choke Saul] Clancy: I can't let you take the stones, Saul! Saul: Clancy, I have one question for you. [Clancy lets go of Saul] Saul: ARE YOU NUTS?! [Clancy gets back to choking Saul again] – Saul of the Mole Men (2007)	added by timothyj.29104 15 days ago
Gary Bunda: Buck up, Jon. Is that a flip? Satan: No. Gary Bunda: Talk about bucking the system, Jon. Is that a flip? Satan: No. Gary Bunda: Talk about, guhhh...passing the buck, Jon. Is that a flip? Satan: No. Gary Bunda: Buck wild. Satan: No. Gary Bunda: Is that a flip? Satan: No. Gary Bunda: Buck naked. Satan: No. Gary Bunda: Is that a flip? Satan: No. Gary Bunda: What about the buck stops here? [Satan grabs him out of the way to the angry bucks] Satan: Actually, that last one was ironic. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
Satan: So, uh, let me get this straight. You wanted to reconnect with your daughter's roommate? And walk a mile in someone's else's shoes...uh, on your stomach? Jon the Torture Consultant: Yes, I mean, Gary got it. He totally gets the concept now of the flip. Uh, what can I say? He nailed me to a "T." Satan: Yeah, doesn't seem legit, but I do happen to know that "Centipede" is your favorite movie. So, well done, Gary. Jon the Torture Consultant: Oh! Alright! Great, so, uh, cut her off of me and I can get my money? Satan: Uh, what did we say? 30 thousand bucks? Jon the Torture Consultant: Yeah. Satan: [whistles] [Satan gives Jon, 30 thousand bucks but instead gives him bucks that look like deers] Satan: Try not to spend it all in one place, Jon. Jon the Torture Consultant: We had a contract for 30 thousand US dollars! Satan: It's gotta be tough to run with somebody sewed to your asshole. Use your other foot, the -- The -- The stomach foot. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
[Gary tries to fix one last flip to save Jon's relationship] Gary Bunda: Wakey, wakey -- Eggs and pancakey! Jon the Torture Consultant: Aw, Gary, that's -- That's too many hotcakes, man. I'll never finish all those. Gary Bunda: Aw, you're going to need plenty of nourishment in order to feed your daughter. Jon the Torture Consultant: Wait, what? [Gary pull his sheets to see that he actually reconnects with Jon's daughter to the back of the consultant's butt] Jon the Torture Consultant: Oh my god. [surprised] Oh my god! Gary, you did it, man! You heard me say I wanted to reconnect with my daughter, and you sewed her to my backside, my ass to her m-- [looks at his daughter again to be sure] This is not my daughter. Gary Bunda: In my defense, I did not know what she looked like. Jon the Torture Consultant: Dude, what is this foot? You sewed a foot to my stomach? Is that part of your flip? Gary Bunda: Yeah. But now you have to wait for the other shoe to drop. Don't you? Jon the Torture Consultant: What d-- What does that even mean? I never said anything like that. And also, there's no shoe on the foot. Just get the contract, we're done. Gary Bunda: Am I done? Jon the Torture Consultant: You're done. Just get the contract. Gary Bunda: F*. Jon the Torture Consultant: Good flip, Gary. Gary Bunda: Woo. Thank you. Jon the Torture Consultant: [sarcastically] Wow. What a great flip you did. Wow. Gary Bunda:** Thank you. Honestly, I'm relieved. I did not like doing any of this sht. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell* (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
[Gary and Jon (Torture Consultant) stayed in a hotel figuring out to reconnect with Jon's daughter] Torture Consultant: Man, I'd do anything to reconnect with my daughter, but it's not gonna happen. Man, I ran around on her Mom so much man, but I couldn't help it. There's nothing sexier than a consultant that knows his sht and that was me. I was banging administrative assistants left and right. I wet more panties than Lenny Kravitz. Gary Bunda:* But the irony is that you left your daughter's panties bone dry. Torture Consultant: [concerned] What'd you say? Gary Bunda: It's a figure of speech. Torture Consultant: You sa- You don't talk about my daughter's panties, man. Gary Bunda: It's turn of phrase! Torture Consultant: [throws cans] I'll f*ing kill you, dick. Gary Bunda: No, bro! Bro! Torture Consultant: Because of you, I cannot pay for her college. You understand that? 'Cause of you. Gary Bunda: I can fix this. I can pull a flip tonight. Torture Consultant: Yeah, well I'm not waiting up for that. Gary Bunda: Can I have those almonds? I know that they're 17 dollars, but -- Torture Consultant: Stay out of the mini-fridge. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
[Jon the Torture Consultant tries to get an relationship with his daughter] Jon the Torture Consultant: Deirdre, Open the goddamn door. Come on. Please. Deirdre: Why, so you can leer at my roommate? She's has a boyfriend Dad, okay? She's not into old men like you. Jon the Torture Consultant: Come on honey, please don't sound like your Mom. I -- I just need literally just one day and then I'll have the money. Deirdre: My therapist told me to stop seeing you and I'm cutting it off. Goodbye, Dad! Jon the Torture Consultant: Deirdre! Open the goddamn door! Deirdre: Goodbye! Jon the Torture Consultant: Ah, f*. [sees Gary in the hallway] Damn it, Gary. Gary Bunda: I know how that is. Jon the Torture Consultant: What? Gary Bunda: I -- Jon the Torture Consultant: You what? You know how that is? Gary Bunda: I just... Jon the Torture Consultant: How? [Gary lost track of what he was relating to] Jon the Torture Consultant: You fing idiot. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell* (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
Jon the Torture Consultant: [on phone with his daughter] Hey honey, uh, it's Dad, I'm in town for business, and I thought it would be great if we get some dinner! Uh, I know Mom enjoys poisoning you against me, but, uh, surely you're not sending all my calls to voicemail until I stop calling, right? Gary Bunda: What's the patriarchy? Jon the Torture Consultant: GET OFF ME! Gary Bunda: I'm sorry. Jon the Torture Consultant: [on phone] Not you, honey. Um, please pick up the goddamn phone and call me back, okay? Please, I know you see the calls. Please, I love you. Okay, bye. Gary Bunda: She wanted me to end all microaggressions. And that threw me because in Hell, we only have macro-aggressions. You know, like that giant snake that screams inside your own mind. Just going like "Aaahhhh! You are nothing, Gary! You are nothing!" Jon the Torture Consultant: That's not a flip. And also, she left. Gary Bunda: Sht. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell* (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago

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