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Gary Bunda: What's something you want more than anything else in the world? Young Adult Girl: Can you topple the patriarchy? Gary Bunda: [thinks for a second] How would you like to beat somebody at golf? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
Torture Consultant: Gary's not really much of a book-learning guy, he -- Gary Bunda: [whispers "No" happliy] Torture Consultant: He needs to pick this up in the outside world. Satan: And he will 'cause you're gonna teach in the real world. You've got 24 hours. Or no money. Torture Consultant: P -- Please I -- I need that money. I'm already out 500 bucks on this Beefy Backgammon guy. Beefy Backgammon: And I'm gonna need that money today. I got a car payment due. Satan: Fellas, this is what I call a twist. [Satan brutally snaps Beefy's head off] Torture Consultant: Technically, we -- We -- We called it a flip. Satan: [pulls up middle finger] Yeah, well this is a flip too. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
Beefy Backgammon: [singing] Come on baby, you passed The Flip! Backup Singers: [singings] You passed! You passed! You passed! Beefy Backgammon: [singing] So here's your diploma, ain't that the pip? Troy: Gary didn't pass. She hit the Louvre. Torture Consultant: I'm the teacher here and I say it's close enough for government work. [William reveals to be Satan watching The Flip experience this whole time] Satan: Close enough for what? We're in the government now? [to Gary] Let's say I was a 16 year old boy and I said I would do anything to lose my virginity. How would you -- How would you flip that? Gary Bunda: Beat him to death with a...golf club. In the dick! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
[Gary tries to do the the flip again by doing plane simulator to do what Dizzay did] Jon the Torture Consultant: DON'T TOUCH HER BREASTS! Gary Bunda: I'm s-- I'm very sorry. Hologram Elderly Woman: I just always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower -- [Gary uses a lighter to light the hologram on fire instead of pushing her off the plane] Jon the Torture Consultant: Hold up. [pauses the simulation] Gary Bunda: You said for me to set her on fire -- Jon the Torture Consultant: I said no such thing. We just went over this. I said she wants to "see the Eiffel Tower before she died." Gary Bunda: I pushed the other one on the Eiffel Tower and you said that that was bad! Jon the Torture Consultant: You know what? Alri -- For -- Just push her on the tower. Gary Bunda: Is this a trick? Jon the Torture Consultant: Push her on the tower and you get an "A." Gary Bunda: Close your eyes! Jon the Torture Consultant: No! Don't tell her to close her eyes, she needs to see the t-- [Gary already pushes the hologram elderly woman to the Louvre Pyramid] Jon the Torture Consultant: Forget it, Gary, come on down, you passed. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
Jon the Torture Consultant: Gary, I want you to look around your environment, okay? See if there's any clues for how you can flip this... [Gary sees every environment in this room that gives him hints to light the hologram woman on fire but too dumb to notice] Jon the Torture Consultant: She wants to be "hot" right? What else is hot, Gary? Gary Bunda: I could give her bigger breasts. Jon the Torture Consultant: Okay, maybe -- But how do you flip that? Gary Bunda: You flip the boobs with the butt. And she's gotta sit on her boob all the time. Troy: Light her on fire! Jon the Torture Consultant: Troy, I got it. Hot, Gary! Hot! Gary Bunda: Hot...I think I got it! [Gary pushes the hologram woman out of the house to the same Eiffel Tower that Dizzay already completed] Jon the Torture Consultant: But she doesn't wanna see the Eiffel Tower. She wants to be hot, okay? The answer we're looking for is light her on fire. Gary Bunda: Okay, so, if Dizzay does it, it's genius, but if I do it, it's a problem. That's called reverse racism, and I am a victim of it! WITNESS THIS! WITNESS THIS! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
[Gary does The Flip simulator] Hologram Woman: I want to be the hottest actress in Hollywood. I want to be so hot. [Gary touches the holograms woman's boobs] Jon the Torture Consultant: Let's keep it in your pants, Gary. Gary Bunda: They're so heavy! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
[Dizzay does The Flip simulator] Hologram Elderly Woman: I just always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower before I die. Dizzay: Aww, that's sweet. [Dizzay pushes her off the plane on the top of the Eiffel Tower] Dizzay: SEE THAT?! RIGHT BELOW YOU! THE EIFFEL TOWER, BITCH! [laughs] Jon the Torture Consultant: Dynamite, Dizzay! Yeah, she saw the tower, alright -- Right before she died! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
[after the demons got done watching does the orientation video about The Flip] Jon the Torture Consultant: Okay, any questions? Troy: That Chubby Checker? Jon the Torture Consultant: No, that is Beefy Backgammon, our own IWT Communications rock-and-roll legend. Troy: And -- And how are the flip and a twist different again? Jon the Torture Consultant: Let's not get hung up on the terminology. It's clearly and ironic flip what we're doing, okay? Any more questions? [Gary raised his hand up] Jon the Torture Consultant: Yes? Gary Bunda: You know, people sell us their souls, we got their souls, like, why do we have to pull, like, clever mean sht? Jon the Torture Consultant:* We're not "pulling mean sht." It's an ironic twist, sorry, flip. It's not my job to change corporate policy on flips. It is my charge to make sure that your flips are TWIST. "Twist Wish Ironically, Screwing Turkeys." Troy:* So you're calling it a flip, but the acronym is TWIST, and the word "twist" is inside the acronym. Jon the Torture Consultant: Yeah, we were sued, okay. You happy? You figured it out, congrats. CLEARLY we couldn't do the real thing cause Chubby Checker likes to sue the f* out of people and yet you gotta say [mocking] "Oh wait a minute, wha-- A duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh twist? A buh buh buh flip?" What a fing asshole you are. Look at you. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell* (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
[Benji does another orientation video about The Flip] Dried Up Desert Man: I'd give anything for a glass of water... [Benji shows up] Benji: Here's some water... [Benji gives him the water] Benji: [to the viewers] Sea water! Dried Up Desert Man: [spits] [Beefy pops up singing The Flip song] Beefy Backgammon: [singing] Let's go baby! Imma teach you how to do The Flip! Fat Guy: I wish I could lose 100 pounds. Benji: Oh I think I can make that happen! [Benji revving up his chainsaw] Beefy Backgammon: [singing] Come on baby, Imma teach you how to do The Flip! Fat Guy: [to Benji] You cut off my arms and legs! I should have been more specific! Golf Man: My partner Kip is so good. I sure wish I could beat him. [transitions to the next scene where golf man gets forced by literally beating up his partner Kip with a putter] Golf Man: I meant at golf! Beefy Backgammon: [singing] He didn't specify golfing, so he killed his friend Kip! Ooh! Beefy Backgammon: [singing] In the name of my sweet Satan, let's do The Flip! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
Gary Bunda: [weak british accent] 'Ello there governor! It's lovely to see you at the top of me patrol! One lump or two there? [laughs] [Gary puts a testicle into Satan's cup] Gary Bunda: You touched it! Satan: What is this? Gary Bunda: Okay, so this guy comes up to me and he said, I would give my left nut to be famous. So guess what I did? Gary Bunda: [said in unison] I took his left nut. Satan: [said in unison] You took his left nut. Yeah. Gary Bunda: The Devil's bargain! It's irony. Satan: No, Gary, that -- That's just a straight up trade. Gary Bunda: No. Satan: Yeah. An ironic twist would be if you made him famous but only as a guy who got his left nut stuck in a blender or something. Gary Bunda: That's not a skill to just put your nut in a blender. I made him a famous singer. Satan: Uh -- A castrati? Okay, good. See, that's -- That's ironic. Gary Bunda: No. I made him a bass. He's an Oak Ridge Boy now. Satan: Did -- Did you at least get his soul? Gary Bunda: No. Satan: No. Okay. Gary Bunda: I took his left nut! But technically, I -- I took his -- My left -- His right -- Took his right nut. So that's double ironic. [a severed arm falls off from Gary's pants] Satan: What -- What is that? Behind you. Gary Bunda: Nothing. Satan: Someone said they'd give their right arm for something, didn't they? Gary Bunda: To pass geometry. Satan: That's it! We're having a class. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 16 days ago
Roostre: It was just a car, man. I mean, I left the stereo, and this guy shows up and some guy -- I can't even make out his features and everything -- And he growls and growls. The next thing I know, I wake up in some room -- Some room painted white where there's a giant fan all spinning, and here he comes -- This shapeless thing -- And he comes out for me and I can't move. I got something sticking out of neck and it paralyzes me, and he grabs me and starts pushing me toward the fan. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 17 days ago
Fitz's Wife: What are you doing here? Shadowy Figure: [warbling voice] Fitz's Wife: That's my -- That was for Fitz. Why did you take it? Leave us alone, you bastard. [Fitz's Wife gets shot by one of Shadowy's tranquilizer darts] – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 17 days ago
[Fitz is amazed using a telescope sniper] Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Man, these are f-ing cool. Skillet: [squeals] Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: They were about $300 or $400. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 17 days ago
Golden Joe: Man, I'm so far out I'm crunk as a mug up in this joint, man. Out like dismount in the planet and man sho kimshow. Roostre: Alright, now. Hey, hey. Peanut Cop: Oh, ho! Oh, shoot. Roostre: Hey, guys. Uh, did I ever tell you, uh, about, uh, how I got here? Did I -- How I got to be like this? Golden Joe: One more again, Roost. Got where to be like what? Roostre: You know where. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 17 days ago
Peanut Cop: Bro, I don't know if you know, but, like, if this freaks you out, just let me know, but, like, Joe and me and let me know if Joe... Golden Joe: Oh, no, you just didn't man. You said, "Joe let me know." That's a rhyme on my dime, biznitch. Slap me a lickie quick, old mna. Peanut Cop: Far out. Golden Joe: Far out. Peanut Cop: Out! – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 17 days ago
[after hearing Roostre's 2nd song] Peanut Cop: Did you hear that, guys? That was beautiful. Golden Joe: I miss...I miss the old days and -- And the purple haze and the mayonnaise and the friggin' days in my maze. Eating ketchup sandwiches under the christmas tree. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 18 days ago
[Rhoda talks about the characters that got jobs that worked for Shark] Rhoda: Rooster, dude. Rooster is the guy. Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: What about Rooster. Rhoda: He's a He. Everything -- Everything he touches goes bad. Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: What about that? [pointing to Man/Woman] Rhoda: She's the "Man-Woman". You ought to ask him. He'll show you. Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: And that no-eyed square guy -- What's his deal? Rhoda: Don't talk to him, man. You don't know what you're getting into. I'm telling you. Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Who is he? Rhoda: Uh, he's rich. He's really rich. He -- He's the bank. He's got, like all this mad cash from the... Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: From the what? Rhoda: I don't know. Rooster knows. One more question, and I'm out, because I am sick and tired [pauses] ...of this. Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: What do you know about a...cold phone? [Rhoda slaps the cold phone out of Fitz's hands] Rhoda: You don't ever want to get one. Not ever. Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: And what about this Pronto? Rhoda: No, no, shh. No, shh, don't. I said one more, and that's it. Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: You're gonna leave here and go to your bar, and when that no-eyed square guy shows up... [pulls up a rocket gun] [Rhoda flinches out] [turns out his rocket gun shoots out his phone number] Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Call me. Rhoda: Thank you. [ironically Fitz's rocket gun actually shoots out an arrow to Rhoda] – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 18 days ago
Rhoda: What is that? A, uh...the dog? Skillet: [squeals] Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: He's a squirrel. Rhoda: Yeah, I know. [taming Skillet] Here, squirrelly, squirrelly. Get yourself a nut. Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Shut up. Rhoda: YOU SHUT UP! You have no idea what kind of party is in store for us here. [Fitz pulls up his gun on him] Rhoda: [firmly backs up] Ok? – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 18 days ago
Rhoda: Hey, you know, this really isn't a good idea of being here. I mean, this place where we're at now? That's the idea that I'm referring to that isn't good. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 18 days ago
Shark: [mentioning Eye] Um...did he tell you about the job? Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Mh-hmm. Shark: That's goo... that -- That's good, right? Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: No. Shark: Look, when you drink you're drinking and when you're drinking...you have. Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: No. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 18 days ago
[Rhoda walks by seeing Fitz, Skillet, and Woman seeing a fake dead replica of Rhoda] Rhoda: Hey. The bar is closed. [sees his fake replica] Oh, ha ha ha. Hey, you're not gonna tell anybody, are ya? Oh, come--It's just a fake! I mean, it's made of metal, for crying out loud. It's a joke. It's a gift from my -- From my, uh, realtor. Isn't it? Come on, guys. – 12 oz. Mouse (2005)	added by timothyj.29104 18 days ago
Jess: sorry Jules I have to save my rizz for baby Gronk Jules: :( – Bend It Like Beckham (248 BC btw skibi)	added by dklfnbkjdkbflbknndkf 19 days ago
Jess: sorry Jules I have to save my rizz for baby Gronk Jules: :( – Bend It Like Beckham (248 BC btw skibi)	added by dklfnbkjdkbflbknndkf 19 days ago
[Amy tries to eat her own baby to save herself from Hell] Satan: Um, excuse me, what are you doing? This is, like, over the line, okay? Amy: I'm just doing what you requested. Satan: I'm not really following your logic. Amy: I'll explain right after my lunch. [Amy shows Satan that she's actually trying to take a bite of her baby] Satan: Okay. As long as you're seriously planning to eat your own baby, I want nothing to do with this. Like, actual ew! – The Shivering Truth (2018)	added by timothyj.29104 22 days ago

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