Charmed

Charmed

Charmed is an American fantasy drama television series created by Constance M. Burge and produced by Aaron Spelling and his production company Spelling Television, with Brad Kern serving as showrunner. The series was originally broadcast by The WB for eight seasons from October 7, 1998, until May 21, 2006. The series narrative follows a trio of sisters, known as The Charmed Ones, the most powerful good witches of all time, who use their combined "Power of Three" to protect innocent lives from evil beings such as demons and warlocks. Each sister possesses unique magical powers that grow and evolve, while they attempt to maintain normal lives in modern-day San Francisco. Keeping their supernatural identities separate and secret from their ordinary lives often becomes a challenge for them, with the exposure of magic having far-reaching consequences on their various relationships and resulting in a number of police and FBI investigations throughout the series. There were several instances where their secrets were revealed, mostly to their lovers. The series initially focuses on the three Halliwell sisters, Prue (Shannen Doherty), Piper (Holly Marie Combs) and Phoebe (Alyssa Milano). Following Prue's death in the third-season finale, their long-lost half sister Paige Matthews (Rose McGowan) assumes her place within the "Power of Three" from season four onwards. Charmed achieved a cult following and popularity on The WB with its first episode "Something Wicca This Way Comes" garnering 7.7 million viewers, breaking the record for the network's highest-rated debut episode. The show's ratings, although smaller than rival shows on the "big four" networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox), were a success for the relatively new and smaller WB network. Charmed went through several timeslot changes during its eight-season run. For its first three seasons in the Wednesday/Thursday 9:00 pm timeslot, Charmed was the second-highest rated series on The WB, behind 7th Heaven. During its fifth season, the show moved to the Sunday 8:00 pm timeslot, where it became the highest-rated Sunday night program in The WB's history. At 178 episodes, Charmed was the second-longest drama broadcast by The WB, behind 7th Heaven. In 2006, it became the longest running hour-long television series featuring all female leads, before being surpassed by Desperate Housewives in 2012. The series has also received numerous awards and nominations. In 2010, The Huffington Post and AOL TV ranked Charmed within their joint list of "The Top 20 Magic/Supernatural Shows of All Time," while in 2013, TV Guide listed the series as one of "The 60 Greatest Sci-Fi Shows of All Time." Charmed has also become a source of pop culture references in film and television and has influenced other succeeding television series in the same subgenre. The show's success has led to its development in other media, including a video game, board games, soundtracks, novels, and a comic book series which served as a continuation of its narrative. According to data research from The NPD Group in 2012, Charmed was the second-most binge watched television series on subscription video-on-demand services, such as Netflix. A reboot series of the same name, featuring a new cast and new characters, premiered on The CW network on October 14, 2018.

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Year:
1998
10,484 Views

Piper:
I just wish I could get a live guy.

Phoebe:
I forgot your question.

Piper:
I asked if Prue was going to have sex with someone other than herself this year.

Phoebe:
That's disgusting. Please say yes.

Andy:
Everything happens for a reason, remember, you told me that, Prue.

Phoebe:
Go away horny tom cats.

Phoebe:
Come on, you don't think we'll be 60 and still living together, sharing clothes and a cat.

Piper:
Well now that you put it that way, no, I don't want to live with you anymore.

Piper:
Yeah. Sure, why not? We could have another funeral tomorrow. I mean, all the dishes are out and we pretty much know who to invite.

Piper:
So why is Sir Lust-A-Lot after you?

Paige:
How should I know?

Piper:
Well, because it's your damn fairy tale and it's alive and frozen in our kitchen.

Piper:
You know, if I could freeze the two of you, I would, often.

Leo:
Piper, this is completely illegal.

Piper:
Yeah? Well, so is marrying a dead guy, okay? [She holds up his death certificate] Let's not get technical now.

Piper:
Darryl, I'm sorry, but what do you want me to say? My sister was just possessed with a supernaturally born killer and my husband is in 1994, and I do not mean in the fashion sense. He time traveled back with my other sister so the only one left to help me is you.

Piper:
I'm not pregnant. Trust me.

Prue:
Well, that's good news.

Phoebe:
Are you kidding? That's great news. You can live.

Prue:
I mean, well, you are a warlock magnet.

Darryl:
Piper...

Piper:
Uh-huh.

Darryl:
You froze the crime scene.

Piper:
Uh-huh.

Darryl:
You cannot freeze a crime scene.

Piper:
Well, I did.

Piper:
Tell me the truth. Do you think I'm pushing it too far with the wedding?

Prue:
Okay, why is Phoebe going to school without her books?

Piper:
Okay, why is Prue not answering Piper's question?

Darryl:
Oh, no creepy talk in the precinct. Will you just keep down the creepy talk.

Piper:
Don't act blonde.

Piper:
Leo, you're a nice guy, and I like you a lot, but let's face it, you're geographically undesirable.

Prue:
Great, so some guy couldn't keep it in his sheath and now I'm marked for death.

Piper:
Well, some men can be very sensitive about their weapons.

Phoebe:
I'll do what I should've done a while ago which is vanquish your sorry ass.

Phoebe:
I hope this doesn't mean we get our *virginity* back too.

Leo:
Piper, he's gonna kill me when he finds out.

Piper:
Don't be ridiculous, you're already dead.

Phoebe:
*Hey*! Don't call me sweetie! You can't imprison someone and then call them sweetie!

Paige:
Well, you wanted to live like us. Now you get to die like us.

Lazarus Demon:
Go to hell!

Piper:
I'm already there!

Phoebe:
Where the hell is Leo, it's been five hours and he hasn't responded to any of my calls.

Chris Perry:
I really don't know

Piper:
Well I really think you do know

Chris Perry:
Well maybe I do, and if I'm right, Leo's gonna need some major alone time

Piper:
You know what? Cut the cryptic crap. I want you to go up there and bring Leo back now.

Chris Perry:
Fine. But if I was you I would focus on finding a way to unfreeze Paige 'cause you're gonna need her... soon

Piper:
I swear to God if he does not bring Leo back I am gonna blow his ass back to the future orbs and all.

Phoebe:
Okay, Piper maybe it would be better if you go downstairs and spend some time with Wyatt... you're not breathing are you?

Piper:
Nope

Phoebe:
Breathe, inhale, exhale, okay next sister.

Leo Wyatt:
Look, Piper, no matter what happens...

Piper:
No...

Leo Wyatt:
You have to keep trying to make contact.

Piper:
I don't want him to hear it...

Leo Wyatt:
He's not after you, he's after me.

Piper:
Would you please stop trying to save me!

Leo Wyatt:
I'm sorry I got you into this.

Piper:
[crying] Yeah, just one ordeal after another, right?

Leo Wyatt:
I've never stopped loving you. [her eyes welling up with tears, Piper's resistance finally melts and she leans in to kiss Leo]

Paige:
Power. Power's good. I like power. Why do I like power?

Cole:
Phoebe, I love you. I don't know what's going on but maybe I can help. Would you like me to kill someone for you?

Barbas:
How cute. The great big elder's afraid of the teeny-weeny itsy-witsy baby.

Phoebe:
No time to dawdle, there's a baby on the way.

Leo:
This is crazy. You can't leave like this.

Paige:
We, very well can't ignore Chris's birth now can we?

Chris:
I'm the baby. I give you permission to.

Paige:
[walks in on Phoebe standing naked, standing up in the bathtub] Whoa... full frontal Phoebe!

Cole:
She flashed.

Paige:
Yeah... I - I got that.

Cole:
No, I mean she flashed black-and-white.

[Wyatt has shrunken Piper and Leo into a doll house size of the Manor]

Piper:
OK... let me handle Wyatt. This requires a mother's touch... Wyatt Matthew Halliwell! You stop this nonsense right now!

Piper:
Phoebe, how many times have I told you not to play dress-up with the demons?

Leo:
Phoebe, you cant be the Queen of the Underworld and a charmed one!

Piper:
I dreamt an animated musical last night. Is that normal?

Piper:
I didn't need a sign to tell me where my heart lies. [smiles at Leo]

Phoebe:
28 minutes, 33 seconds. [Piper looks at her]

Piper:
Really? We ran that long?

Phoebe:
No, that's how long you've been comparing Leo and Dan.

Piper:
I haven't been comparing - I've just been... talking.

Phoebe:
Non-stop.

Leo Wyatt:
Now that I'm a mortal, I'm going to fight for you and let the best man win.

Paige:
Is there something that we don't know... that we should know... you know?

Piper:
You don't really seem like yourself.

Paige:
I don't? Then, who am I?

Phoebe:
Piper.

Piper:
Don't you "Piper" me.

Head Dwarf:
When's her prince getting here?

Piper:
She doesn't have a prince.

Head Dwarf:
No prince? So then who's going to kiss her?

Stinky:
I'll do it.

Dwarf:
In your dreams stinky. I'll do it.

Stinky:
I told you not to call me that.

Head Dwarf:
People. A little professional decorum here please. [to Piper] Forgive them, it's been a while.

Paige:
So how exactly do I bless this thing?

Phoebe:
With your blood. Come on. [takes Paige into the dining room and holds up a needle]

Phoebe:
This'll just hurt a little.

Piper:
Oh, you know what? She's getting angry. And our powers don't work so good when we're angry.

Mitzy Stillman:
We've got them now.

Piper:
Yeah, you've got us now so why don't you blow us up?

Phoebe:
Piper, death bad, life good.

Paige:
Don't worry, this bimbo couldn't hit the broadside of a beauty parlour. Check out that dye job.

[the blonde sisters gasp]

Mabel Stillman:
How dare you!

[Mabel blows up the doors]

Piper:
Run!

Witch Doctor:
You sure these are good witches that live here?

Leo:
The best. Although one of them is going to go very evil on us if we don't get this room cleaned up in a hurry. Believe me.

Witch Doctor:
Is that a fact?

Leo:
Well, not literally.

Phoebe:
[singing] Oh, I'm making soup for Cole, he'll eat it in a bowl, I guess that's my new role, making soup for Cole.

Darryl:
Okay, where is this baby that everybody keeps talking about? Is it an invisible baby? Am I gonna step on it?

Cole:
You've got to hold my hand.

Prue:
This already sucks.

Prue:
Innocents and alleys, don't they ever learn?

Prue:
Oh, I think someone needs a time out little missy.

Piper:
It was all of those women showing off their sonogram pictures, and it was just working on my last nerve. Like, "Look, it's Jasper's first photo. And it's going to go on the fridge in a magnetic frame that says 'Jasper's First Photo'."

Leo:
Okay, I thought prenatal yoga was supposed to help you relax.

Prue:
Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Piper:
I'm going to be a very good witch from now on.

Phoebe:
You have really got to lay off the rhyming, Prue

Cole:
Why would I ever not want to talk to you?

Phoebe:
I don't know, you know, just in case you thought I was a drunk or a lunatic, or a drunk lunatic.

Prue:
I hate to be the detail police.

Leo:
I hate to be a bearer of bad news.

Piper:
Could you possibly be the bearer of a big hug?

Phoebe:
Wanna take a wiccan time out and do the crossword puzzle?

Phoebe:
I curse you, you curse me, let's get together and do a little cursing.

Phoebe:
Anyone got a vanquish in their pocket

Phoebe:
We could sure use some cosmic help right about now.

Paige:
I like an element of danger.

Paige:
You used to be a demon *and* a lawyer?

Cole:
Yeah.

Paige:
Insert joke here.

Phoebe:
I think I found the demon. Oh my god...

Paige:
What? You can't say "demons" followed by "oh my god" - I'm new at this, I'm likely to panic.

Demon Of Illusion:
Silly Witches. Tricks Are For Kids.

Phoebe:
Got milk? Oooh, don't think so.

Piper:
I'll play the b*tch, you play the witch, ok?

Piper:
I'm gonna be happy when I vanquish your sorry ass.

[a spell that allows a witch to hear the thoughts of others has backfired, causing the sisters to hear each other's thoughts, too]

Piper:
Yeah, next time get your own damn lipstick.

Prue:
I heard that.

Piper:
I love you.

Prue:
Bite me.

Piper:
Phoebe's pregnant.

Leo:
What, huh, really?

Phoebe:
Can you do anything about this thunder? 'Cause it's making me nuts.

The Seer:
I have no sway over the weather. I do have a friend who works with the wind, but she's out of town.

Cole:
Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?

Phoebe:
With my demon ex-husband from hell?

Grams:
Piper blew up the wolf from inside. Although it took her long enough.

Piper:
Hey, back off Grams, I just saved your ass.

Piper:
Vanquish demon first, kill husband later.

Paige:
What just happened?

Piper:
The freaking furniture just attacked us.

Leo:
Give daddy back his powers now.

Piper:
Kiss this b*tch.

Leo:
...plus ours will be doubly magical - half Whitelighter. Half witch.

Paige:
Hey, that's like me. Oh. You might have some problems.

Phoebe:
Notice anything different about me?

[Paige looks at her oddly]

Piper:
Engagement ring. Notice it or wear coffee.

Piper:
So let me get this straight. You summoned me to a cage where our powers don't work so, what, we could all die together?

Paige:
I'll admit the plan has a few flaws.

Phoebe:
Will your friends be staying for dinner?

Cole:
I'm going to have a hard enough time convincing them to stay 'til the end of the meeting if you don't stop threatening to kill them.

Piper:
Oh, no, don't tell me we got infected with the sin thingy.

[Piper's morning sickness is causing her to burp small orbs of white light]

Paige:
[to Leo] Okay, is that normal?

Leo:
All this arguing is probably just upsetting the baby.

Piper:
[indicating size with her hands] Leo, the baby is an inch long. All this arguing is upsetting the mommy.

Piper:
I think my half whitelighter baby thought fireworks would be prettier than demon guts.

Cole:
You're pregnant?

Piper:
I was, but now I think Leo is.

Cole:
[the Charmed ones are being inspired by a muse] I think Leo should orb me down to the Underworld. I may not be a demon anymore, but I still know the terrain.

Phoebe:
And you may just find yourself in ever-lasting pain!

Paige:
...That was a rhyme.

Phoebe:
I know; and now is not the time.

Cole:
[Cole and Leo went to the Underworld without telling the Charmed ones] Ok, I know you're angry, but before you say anything, we found out that the faction is led by a Warlock named Devlin.

Phoebe:
Hmmm... he looked more like a Joe to me.

Drake Robin:
[referring to troll in classroom] Ah... you do not want to go in there.

Phoebe:
Drake? Are you okay?

Drake Robin:
Drake? Who's Drake? I'm Robin Hood... of Nottingham.

Piper:
Who would shoot a gnome? And why is the 'g' silent?

Phoebe:
Lawyers! There should be a place in Hell for each and every one of them!

Piper:
Why didn't you save her?

Leo:
I tried.

Piper:
But you didn't. Why didn't they let you save her, too?

Leo:
The Elders? They couldn't. They don't have that kind of power.

Piper:
Then what the hell good are they? [Piper stands up and walks away from Leo and finds a tissue, Leo follows]

Leo:
It's okay to be angry.

Piper:
I'm not angry. I am pissed off! Don't you understand? You healed the wrong sister! You saved me because I'm your damn wife, and you should've saved her because she was the best! Because she, you should. [She loses it again, overcome. Leo moves up behind her and this time, she lets him hold her] Why do they put us through so much for it to end this way?

Wyatt Halliwell:
Is this Chris? He's so small! Is this before or after he swallowed that marble?

Leo:
Hey, I'm not nauseous.

Piper:
Hey, I am. Wait, that's not good news.

Cole:
Did you get my flowers?

Phoebe:
Yeah. "Sorry I tried to strangle you" Probably not a card the florist gets to write everyday.

Leo:
It's your love that keeps me sane and whole and balanced

Leo:
You know, you're a pretty good whitelighter.

Paige:
Well, I learned from the best.

Paige:
Well, I was sort of messing around with Dave...

Piper:
Messing around?

Paige:
Yeah, having sex.

Piper:
Oh.

Paige:
See, that's why I don't want to talk to you about this. It's weird talking to a pregnant lady about sex anyway.

Piper:
Well, Paige, how do you think I got pregnant?

Paige:
Ugh, I don't want to know that either.

Leo:
P3's still doing great.

Piper:
Not as great as it used to be, thanks to me.

Leo:
Well, Piper, you're having a baby. Your priorities have changed.

Piper:
Yeah, well, haven't you heard? Women can have careers and babies now. It's been in all the papers.

Leo:
Well, are those women trying to save the world from demons too?

Paige:
Do you think you could shift the gears? My b*obs are in the way.

Phoebe:
Ready to kick some ass... sis?

Prue:
I mean, how come we can't fight the demon of cleanliness or the demon of housekeeping, or even that really big bald guy, Mr. Clean? I would so totally take him on.

Piper:
You got anything that would go with combat boots? You know, for the mommy-to-be who kicks some ass on occasion.

Phoebe:
I can't believe you guys didn't notice my billboards downtown.

Piper:
Oh, honey, of course we noticed. You can see them from a passing 747.

Craig:
Who are you?

Paige:
Witch.

Leo:
Angel.

Phoebe:
Mermaid.

Darryl:
[in the midst of being shot at] This is the last time I come to this place for lunch.

Phoebe:
Good people do not turn other people into water coolers.

Leo:
Why am I standing in the ocean?

Piper:
Phoebe's a mermaid.

Leo:
Oh, well, that would explain it.

Piper:
[to Paige] Geez, you're like my husband with b*obs.

Leo:
Because nobody knows where it is. Its location has been kept secret even from the Elders.

Paige:
Where was their infinite wisdom on the day that was decided?

Piper:
Every other mother-to-be does not have to worry about her child orbing to Tahiti when they are sent to their room.

Piper:
Oh, please, please, somebody help me. The mean demon is dipping me into the water and it's really cold.

Piper:
Leo, I have growing powers inside of me. Powers that I don't understand, and the only person who does understand them never has time to talk. Add that to raging hormones and I guarantee you I am absolutely entitled to do the 'crying thing'.

Grams:
Have you been exercising your powers daily?

Piper:
Do I need to?

Grams:
Well, you know, if you don't want to lose control of them. Did you perform a ritual to promote growth?

[Piper and Leo look sheepish]

Grams:
Did you cast a spell to ward off demonic parasites?

[Piper and Leo continue to look ashamed]

Grams:
Sweetheart, what did you do?

Leo:
We built a nursery in our bedroom closet.

Grams:
No wonder this baby summoned me.

Piper:
So what do you say to an overbearing younger sister who's treating her pregnant older sister like a porcelain doll?

Phoebe:
"Thank you"?

Piper:
How about "Knock it off"?

Phoebe:
That's probably better advice.

Phoebe:
[about Leo's spell] "We harken ye"? What are we trying to summon a leprechaun here?

Leo:
[referring to Paige's scant attire] Uh, Paige, where did you orb in from?

Paige:
I was dealing with some personal issues.

Leo:
Well, I'm your whitelighter so if you ever want to talk...

Paige, Piper:
No.

Leo:
Yeah, that little elf? Got a big mouth.

Leo:
Ladies, death cannot be feared. For death, in time, comes to all witches. You know, the witch who says she's not scared in battle is a liar. The real witch is the one who fights.

Piper:
Honey?

Leo:
Yeah?

Piper:
Zip it.

Phoebe:
[about Paige] Dead? What do you mean she's dead?

Leo:
Don't worry. The dwarves are all over it.

Phoebe:
The dwarves?

Leo:
Piper cast a spell that wound up summoning the descendents of the seven dwarves. Actually, they prefer to be called little people now.

Piper:
Wow, prenatal yoga this morning and now you want to crash a stranger's funeral? You really do need friends.

Paige:
You're mean.

Leo:
As your whitelighter, I'd say go with your instincts.

Paige:
Okay.

Leo:
But as your brother-in-law, going up against your sisters would be pure suicide.

Paige:
Great. You've really helped clarify this issue.

Paige:
All of them had their eyes gouged out.

Piper:
Ew.

Leo:
Now the video doesn't seem so gruesome.

Piper:
Ha. Speak for yourself.

[Piper walks into the living room to see Phoebe and Paige wearing beauty masks]

Piper:
Ah.

Phoebe:
What?

Piper:
Oh, my God. You two could scare the hair off a cat. No demons dare drop by here.

[Morris extends his arm to touch Piper's belly]

Darryl:
Hey, if you ask me, there's nothing more beautiful than a preg...

Piper:
Do it, and you'll pull back a bloody stub.

[Morris retracts his arm]

Paige:
She's a little sensitive right now.

Darryl:
I can see that.

Paige:
So I basically come off as this big, dumb, fat, unemployed loser.

Piper:
No, Paige, you're a big, dumb, fat, unemployed loser who saves the world.

Paige:
We are not slobs.

Piper:
Oh, really? How come I spent all night cleaning potion stains off of the ceiling?

Paige:
That's gazpacho, not potion.

Piper:
Well, you know what? Blenders have lids.

Paige:
Oh, gross. What are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?

Piper:
No, it's The Joys of Home Birthing. Strangely I'm not feeling the joy.

Paige:
Oh, the Elders don't know anything. What a shock.

Leo:
How about I buy you a drink?

Dave:
Thanks. I've all ready got one.

Leo:
That's not gonna be enough.

Phoebe:
Okay, something really freaky happened last night when I was with Miles.

Piper:
You guys are all ready getting freaky?

Piper:
Apparently the baby here prefers Mommy to be indestructible.

Piper:
You knew about this supernatural Jenny Jones reunion, didn't you?

Piper:
So your new-and-improved premonitions are just a more vivid way of telling us we're screwed?

Phoebe:
I mean, you're not even showing yet... except for your boobies.

Piper:
I'm telling you, they are large and they are definitely in charge.

Piper:
Everyone's treating me so differently. I'm still me. There's just a whole lot more of me going on.

[Paige walks into the attic]

Paige:
Hey, guys. Oh, I'm sorry. Were you ranting?

Piper:
Yes, I was, but I'm done now. Thank you.

Piper:
I didn't have to resort to maternity clothes. Everything is so bright and cheery and ruffly.

Paige:
I can understand wanting to take a break from guys but, come on... she's gonna run out the batteries.

Piper:
Aw, Paige.

Paige:
What?

[Paige's cell phone rings]

Paige:
Hello? Oh, hey, Phoebe. We were just talking about you.

Piper:
And your batteries.

Piper:
I've come to the conclusion that if you've got it, then you must flaunt it. [lifts her shirt a little to show her pregnant tummy]

Phoebe:
That's my niece in that belly.

Paige:
She's my niece, too.

Phoebe:
Hi, niece. It's your favorite aunt, Phoebe.

Phoebe:
AT&T, Power of Three.

Phoebe:
No I can still cast spells and do the power of three thing. Whatever the problem is it seems more natural than supernatural.

Leo:
Phoebe why didn't you come to me, I'm your Whitelighter.

Phoebe:
Because you've been busy.

Leo:
I've been busy?

Phoebe:
Well I've been busy. My work schedule has been really hectic. But I'm coming to you guys now.

Leo:
Ok you guys yell at her, and I'm gonna check with the Elders and see what they know.

Phoebe:
I mean, between you and Leo, and Prue, the new Hot Wicca Woman, and me, soon to be employed, things are looking up.

Piper:
Don't say that. The moment someone says that, everything always goes south.

Phoebe:
Unless you freeze him. Oh, I couldn't help it. It was so good.

Prue:
Okay, okay, come on, we're going, you're going to borrow the car.

[Leo comes down the stairs]

Leo:
Good morning.

Phoebe:
Yeah, we heard.

[Piper and Leo are down behind the bar. Piper giggles. Piper's cell phone rings and she pops up, out of breath to answer it]

Piper:
Hello?

Phoebe:
Hey, did you make the potion?

Piper:
Potion? P-P-Paige is making the potion. [Leo pops up beside Piper and starts kissing her neck] And I have ten glorious minutes then I have to have my herbs.

Phoebe:
Great, because I need your help fast. Karen's gonna get fired unless we get her advice column in by 8:00 tonight.

Piper:
Uh-huh.

Phoebe:
So what would tell a twenty-eight year old woman who's still living in her parents house because she's afraid of living alone?

Piper:
I'd tell her to get a life.

Phoebe:
How can I write that? We fight demons every day. How can I tell her that there's nothing to be afraid of, you know? (Piper makes a noise as Leo disappears behind the bar again, smiling.) What are you doing, Piper?

Piper:
I am taking my own advice.

Phoebe:
Eww.

Piper:
Are you out of your mind, AGAIN?

Paige:
I can't believe I destroyed the house.

Phoebe:
What I can't believe is what you almost saw in the hotel room. If you had gotten there five minutes earlier...

Piper:
Lalala. Over sharing.

[Prue has just changed back from being a dog. Piper is scratching Prue's head]

Prue:
What are you doing?

Piper:
I think you've got fleas.

Prue:
You know what? That's so not funny because I think I do.

Phoebe:
I don't get it. If our ancient compilation of spells, witchcraft and rituals can't help us, what makes you think Martha Stewart can?

Prue:
Yeah, well, rules are meant to be broken.

Phoebe:
Yeah, but bodies weren't.

Piper:
And neither were hearts.

Grams:
You need guidance, some advice on a certain sister situation. Am I getting warm?

Phoebe:
Red hot. But wait a minute, if you know, that means that they know, and if they know then we are f...

Grams:
Fine.

Paige:
[speaking to Piper in an alternate reality] And you, you're not La Femme Nikita, you're a Charmed One. Yeah, you don't mind kicking ass when you have to, but otherwise you'd rather be hanging out with your sisters, baking cookies, or knitting booties.

Piper:
Knitting booties? Clearly you don't know me at all.

Leo:
[after Paige tests a vanquishing potion on him] Damn it, Paige! I would appreciate it if you didn't practice on me. I may be dead, but it still hurts!

Paige:
Well guys, we better come up with a plan, because Lord Dyson is out there, getting stronger as we speak.

Phoebe:
Thanks to Piper...

Piper:
ALLRIGHT!

Paige:
We're preparing for the big home birth.

Piper:
Home birth? You're nuts. I'd never agree to that. I wouldn't give birth unless it was in...

Paige:
A hospital. Yeah, yeah, you keep saying the same thing in any reality.

Paige:
[about Cole] I'm telling you, he's gone for good.

Phoebe:
Yeah... that's what we thought last time.

Piper:
And the time before that.

Piper:
Mm-hmm. Your destiny still awaits, she says. There's a reason for everything she says. So, now it's time to summon her transparent butt back and ask exactly what that reason is.

Phoebe:
What about water birth? Can we do that at home?

Eve:
Sure, we can rent a tub.

Piper:
What am I a dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish.

Leo:
Well, actually, dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals.

Piper:
Shut up.

Phoebe:
What's the celebration?

Paige:
I'm just so happy to be home, that's all.

Piper:
You wanted to move out.

Paige:
I did? God, no. Never. Well, I mean, you know, maybe when I'm married or pregnant or... hopefully both at the same time. We're sisters. We shouldn't split up until we absolutely have to. You know that, right?

Piper:
She's rambling.

Phoebe:
I hear that.

[a witch doctor has put a hex on Piper, Paige and Phoebe; causing their character flaws to become obsessions]

Phoebe:
What are those?

Piper:
Slipcovers. To keep the furniture clean. Although I've come to the conclusion we should probably just stand from now on.

Leo:
Witch doctors are kind of a wild card. That's why the elders don't want us working with them.

Piper:
Well, sometimes we don't want to work with the elders. So we're even.

[Witch doctor appears dressed in a suit]

Witch Doctor:
How may I be of service?

Paige:
Are you a witch doctor?

Witch Doctor:
Let me guess. You were expecting someone with a bone through the nose and shrunken head necklace, perhaps?

Phoebe:
Yeah, actually. Yeah. Yeah.

[Paige nods in agreement]

Piper:
Look, if there's anything I've learned from all this it's that I've got to learn to deal with messes. Especially with the baby coming, 'cause I hear they come with a lot of messes.

Paige:
I've heard some things about that, too. Yeah.

Paige:
How do you like my outfit?

Piper:
You look like you're not going to help clean up.

Paige:
You've got that right. I'm gonna go meet Glen. And besides, isn't everything just gonna get messed up again anyway?

Piper:
Bite your tongue.

Leo:
Piper, I need you to help me find Paige.

Piper:
I'm not talking to her until she cleans up her room.

Paige:
He met some bimbette while climbing the Matterhorn.

Piper:
At Disneyland?

Paige:
No, Switzerland.

Witch Doctor:
It's only a matter of time before they destroy themselves.

Paige:
Talk about premature jubilation. You, gentlemen might want to see a doctor about that.

Leo:
The spell, Piper, you need to reverse it. Fast.

Piper:
I'm not sure I can.

Paige:
Then you'd better make us disappear 'cause this one's gonna be tough to explain.

Phoebe:
[about possessed shoes]Cole, these boots may be made for walkin, but they're NEVER walkin' back to you buddy.

Piper:
Where's my baby?

Leo:
Over here.

[Leo stands up to reveal that he's now seven months pregnant]

Paige:
Oh, my God.

Piper:
Oh, my God.

[Leo sees Ryder trying to nuzzle his wife's neck]

Leo:
Oh, my God!

[Phoebe screams in the attic]

Slappy:
Oh, that doesn't sound good.

Paige:
[about the Sandman] I can't believe that they exist... not that I should be surprised.

Paige:
Besides, everyone is odd in San Francisco. That's why we fit in so well.

Piper:
I mean, why would a demon be interested in killing people's dreams? They're harmless, erotic fun.

Paige:
Did you say 'erotic'?

Piper:
Exotic. I said exotic.

Piper:
Cole, if you don't get me the hell outta here right now...

Cole:
You're the one that didn't want me to go easy on you.

Piper:
Doesn't mean I wanted you to. Now get me out the damned wall.

Paige:
If you want to talk to Piper, she's in the room throwing up.

Phoebe:
What, is she sick?

Paige:
She's pregnant Phoebe, sickness is their way of life.

Piper:
So what you're saying is, that whatever you're keeping from me is enough to piss me off but not put me in any danger. At the moment.

Phoebe:
Go to hell.

Cole:
We're already here.

Leo:
Did you find out anything?

Phoebe:
Besides having a twenty-four hour death wish? Nope.

Cole:
I'm goin' straight to hell cause it's got to be a sin to look THIS good.

Piper:
Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe.

Piper:
Be careful of the feet you step on, they may be connected to the boot that kicks your ass.

Phoebe:
I need your help.

Cole:
You've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

Phoebe:
Okay, Piper. As much as we would love to hear about your man problems, we have a possible demon to vanquish.

Piper:
Yeah, like that doesn't have personal gain tattooed across its forehead.

Leo:
Ok, ok, ok, just relax.

Piper:
That's what I was trying to do and then somebody made me blow up my guru.

Piper:
Phoebe, you're overreacting. That's my department.

Leo:
Where's Melody?

Paige:
Oh, she's gone.

Leo:
Gone, as in she left?

Piper:
Gone as in she got sucked in to a big red ring by a warlock named what was it?

Piper:
Now she's Martha Stewart.

Phoebe:
Okay we theme, you potion.

Piper:
Me peeved, you annoying.

Piper:
All right, that's it. Break it up. You go back to your corner and you, you're gonna get ready and we're gonna put lots and lots of makeup on you.

Piper:
Uh, Phoebe, you're evil. You're like the queen of all evil, literally.

Piper:
That's what they do, Phoebe, they come back. They snarl and come back.

Leo:
Well, I know from experience Darklighter poison doesn't kill immediately, so there's still a window of opportunity.

Piper:
Aww I was such a cute baby.

Leo:
Yea I know.

Piper:
Leo, you're not even looking at the picture.

Leo:
Well I've been watching you you're whole life.

Piper:
Yea ok that's too creepy to think about.

Piper:
So, here's the deal. We'll spare your lives if you pull your skanky little power out of her.

Leo:
Well, what if he makes his move before you get a chance to vanquish him?

Piper:
I'll freeze him.

Leo:
Now you're confident in your powers?

Piper:
Okay, so maybe I'll blow him up.

[They walk into the conservatory]

Leo:
But what if he blows us up first?

Piper:
Well, you're already dead, what's the difference.

Piper:
Phoebs, friendly little tip. Lay off the hairspray, there's a fire starter in the house.

Piper:
He swears they're not watching but he's a guy, he'll say anything.

Piper:
Oh. You're assuming because I'm not tall, tattooed, or big-breasted that I'm not important. That's a bad assumption because I own this club, which makes me a V.V.V.I.P."

Piper:
Bad Prue. Very bad Prue. [Prue growls] Hi, Kujo, who you growling at?

Piper:
You stole our sacred book so you could perform magical plastic surgery on yourself?

Piper:
Pheobe, why would you even leave her alone with it?

Phoebe:
Well, because she's our sister.

[Piper Laughs]

Piper:
Not for long.

Piper:
Heads up. Pregnant lady coming through with the groceries.

Piper:
Yeah, but this demon didn't even seem to know who we were, which by the way I find insulting.

Piper:
Don't worry for I hold the power of... one.

Piper:
Ugh. That tastes like ass... phalt.

Phoebe:
It'll be just like the summer by the lake. Remember when we made that blood oath to be friends forever, not just sisters?

Piper:
I remember my finger got infected.

Phoebe:
Sorry, had to grab my broom.

Phoebe:
You came all the way over here for me, I mean we, I mean us?

Prue:
I came, I saw, I was perky.

Prue:
Hey, be nice. I don't even want to think about sin tonight.

Phoebe:
Me neither.

Prue:
So, this is an interesting band, what's their name?

Piper:
Orgy.

Prue:
Here's to Leo for saving me from eternal torment.

Piper:
And to me for not trying to be the perfect couple, if it isn't good enough for them, then screw them.

Phoebe:
It's just research for that stupid article Jason made me do.

Piper:
Ah, you said his name without swearing. Does that mean things are going better at work?

Phoebe:
Oh, no. He's still driving me crazy.

Piper:
Didn't he just give you a raise?

Phoebe:
Yeah, but that was just a bribe so I wouldn't quit.

Piper:
Ah, a woman of principles. I admire that.

Piper:
Look, I know I didn't call to confirm, but I was busy creating life, okay?

Paige:
My sweater shrunk.

Piper:
Ah, come on. You've worn tighter things than that.

[Piper and Leo stand over Wyatt's crib looking down at him]

Piper:
He's so... innocent. If only he had any idea what Mommy and Auntie Paige did today.

Leo:
[to Wyatt] They turned a very bad man to a very big tree.

Tull:
Xavier? Where are you?

Piper:
You're stepping on him.

Paige:
[about Leo] She's blown him up... literally?

Phoebe:
Yeah, but you know Piper, she didn't mean anything by it.

Phoebe:
I think I did something really bad... I slept with my boss.

Piper:
Jason?

Phoebe:
No, Elise! Yes, Jason!

Piper:
Paige. Is everything okay?

Paige:
Better than okay. I'm going to have a love life.

Phoebe:
You're making a love potion?

Paige:
No, I'm making a stun potion.

Piper:
So that lovers will be stunned by you?

Paige:
No, so that Kazis will be stunned by me.

Phoebe:
You're in love with a Kazi demon?

Paige:
Try to stay with me, people.

Phoebe:
You're a monkey. Ooh, you're an angry monkey. Oh, you're pissed. You're- PMS monkey?

Leo:
Being with her broke the rules. Not being with her breaks my heart.

Prue:
Leo you can't just let Piper die.

Leo:
Don't you think I would do something about it if I could?

Prue:
But you love her.

Phoebe:
It's not every day you find out the person you love isn't human, except in Piper's case.

Phoebe:
Stop hinting around and let him have your crab already.

Piper:
Don't be disgusting.

Piper:
You asked me to marry you, and I did. You wanted a family, and I gave you a son. And now you just want me to watch you walk away?

Leo:
Piper it's not that simple.

Piper:
Then make it simple.

Paige:
We kick evil's ass every day.

Piper:
Sometimes twice a day.

[Prue and Piper just find out Leo is a Whitelighter]

Prue:
What is he again?

Phoebe:
He's a Whitelighter. You know, kinda like Peter Pan and Tinkerbell without the wings and the tutu.

Phoebe:
[Prue telekinetically shuts the door on Phoebe] Hey! We've had this discussion. You're not allowed to use your active power on me, until I have an active power to use on you.

[upon meeting Grams for the first time]

Paige:
No offense, but aren't you supposed to be dead?

Grams:
Oh, I'm over that.

[Paige has just been revived after eating Snow White's poison apple]

Paige:
Can someone please tell me how I got in a coffin?

Grams:
You were dead, dear. But bright side, at least now we have something in common.

Dan Gordon:
Don't you have another house to repair?

Leo Wyatt:
No.

Leo Wyatt:
What is that? Is that a time portal? Is that what that is? What are you using it for?

Chris Perry:
I don't have to answer that.

Leo Wyatt:
I thought you said you had nothing to hide.

Chris Perry:
I don't have to answer that either.

Phoebe:
Last night two guys held up a bar and a vigilante killed them.

Paige:
Sounds more like you need an arrest warrant, not a potion.

Phoebe:
Not when the vigilante is tall, dark and handsome and can send people flying with the wave of a hand.

Piper:
Well, that doesn't mean it's Cole.

Phoebe:
Did I forget to mention the scorch marks?

Piper:
See, *that* means it's Cole.

[to Leo]

Piper:
[smiling] I'll just go make you some more coffee.

Phoebe:
[grinning] And I'll bring it to you.

Phoebe:
I just want to know, am I in for another cold shower or not?

Piper:
[worried that she may be pregnant] You know Phoebe, there are times in our lives where a cold shower is a good thing.

Leo Wyatt:
I have to get back to the elders

Phoebe:
Well Chris is a whitelighter, can't he do it?

Piper:
Where is he?

Phoebe:
Upstairs with Paige.

Piper:
And the book. Leo, go talk to the Elders, Pheobe keep an eye on our magical houseguests, I'm gonna go see what future boy is up to.

Piper:
What are you doing?

Chris Perry:
What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to find a way to free stone cold Paige over there

Piper:
Step away from the book.

Chris Perry:
Oh, please. Like I haven't looked in this thing before? By the way, you should update you're goblins entry. It'll come in handy someday.

Piper:
Goblins?

Chris Perry:
Yeah. It's gonna get ugly. Trust me. Look, I know you have no reason to trust me, but the book thinks I'm good, shouldn't you?

Piper:
Well, maybe you found a way around it.

[Prue, Piper and Phoebe have been outed on national TV and are receiving interview requests up the wazoo]

Piper:
So, what do you think? Should we go with Oprah, or Barbra? Barbra makes you cry. We go with Oprah.

Head Dwarf:
You know, you really ought to get yourself a prince, in case this ever happens again.

Paige:
Uh, who are you?

Head Dwarf:
We'll send you the bill. Let's go, men!

Dwarf:
Come on, guys, let's go.

[Phoebe was just turned into a pumpkin. Adam walks over to the pumpkin and picks it up. He raises it above his head. Cole walks out]

Cole:
Put it down. Gently.

Adam:
I can't. The witch'll kill me.

Cole:
So will I. You don't wanna hurt her. (Adam throws the pumpkin and Cole freezes it. He walks over and picks it up.) Oh, what am I gonna do with you? (He unfreezes Adam and punches him in the face.) Keep your hands off my pumpkin!

Chris:
Where is Paige?

Phoebe:
She's at her new temp job.

Chris:
She's still on that kick?

Piper:
It's not a kick, Chris. It's her quest for happiness outside of magic.

Chris:
Yeah, but it's a temp job. Who finds happiness in a temp job?

Grams:
You and Paige moved out? When?

Phoebe:
Uh, a few weeks ago. But we're handling everything.

Grams:
Dear, you have Paige stuck in the past and a demonic blob roaming the manor. Exactly how are you handling things?

[Green blob is growing rapidly on Chris, trapping him]

Grams:
Oh, you must be Chris, the new whitelighter. [aside, to Leo] You know, he doesn't look very qualified for the job.

Phoebe:
So, we get to go back there? And we get to meet our grandfather?

Grams:
Don't make too much out of it, because whatever you do, you can't change the past or tell anyone you're from the future.

Phoebe:
[Indicates Chris] Well, why does he get to?

Chris:
Because I know what I'm doing.

Grams:
Not from where I'm standing.

Chris:
In the future, everyone tried to control the demon with no name, but it can't be done.

Grams:
That's hardly a winning attitude, young man. And why, in heaven's name, couldn't the people in the future find some name for that thing?

Piper:
Oh, you know what? She's getting angry. And our powers don't work so good when we're angry.

Mitzy:
We've got them now.

Piper:
Yeah, you've got us now so why don't you blow us up?

Phoebe:
Piper, death bad, life good.

Paige:
Don't worry, this bimbo couldn't hit the broadside of a beauty parlour. Check out that dye job.

[the blonde sisters gasp]

Mabel:
How dare you!

[Mabel blows up the doors]

Piper:
Run!

Phoebe:
I was under a spell. Evil.

Paige:
Evil? You were blonde!

Piper:
Wow, you really know your stuff.

Paige:
Well, I learned from the best. I learned from you.

Piper:
Thank you, Whitney Houston. Do I sock you in the face now?

Phoebe:
Piper, just so you know, I may have to flee the country, but just for a little while. And I will call you, okay.

Piper:
Oh, no you don't, Missy. There will be no fleeing the country until you clean up after yourself.

Phoebe:
No-no-no-no-no, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm possessed.

Piper:
That is not an excuse!

Phoebe:
[to Spencer Ricks] You know what? You're a turkey! And turkeys don't write columns. [she throws the potion at Spencer and he turns into a turkey] But they do make delicious dinners!

[Piper and Leo hear a turkey gobble and look to see Phoebe getting out of her car carrying the turkey]

Phoebe:
A little help here.

Piper:
What are you doing with that thing?

Phoebe:
Well, first I'm gonna kill it and then I'm gonna stuff it.

Piper:
You are not bringing that filthy fowl in the house.

Phoebe:
Yes, I am. Thanksgiving's early this year.

Phoebe:
We're not demon hunting. We're going to lunch.

Chris:
Hey. I am not unreasonable. You can hunt demons after lunch.

Chris:
I was just wondering how it went with the doctor.

Piper:
Well, you'll be happy to know that you're a boy. [holds up ultrasound picture]

Chris:
That's not what I meant.

Paige:
[looking at picture] I don't see it.

Piper:
Oh, see, it's this little thing right here... [points]

Chris:
Whoa! [grabs ultrasound] Excuse me! Do you mind?

Leo:
What are you doing?

Piper:
I'm replacing the roof. It was just too dirty.

Paige:
Oh my goodness. I tongued a student.

Piper:
See what I mean? We have bigger, naked breasts to worry about.

Phoebe:
Paige has her naked breasts to worry about and I've got yours.

Prue:
Cop, witch. It's not a love connection.

Phoebe:
Boy, girl. Lighten up.

Phoebe:
Are you making spaghetti sauce?

Piper:
No, that's demon blood.

Paige:
Stop yelling at death!

Kazi King:
How will we know if it worked?

The Crone:
Common sense.

Kazi King:
[obviously enraged] Dare you mock me, Crone?

The Crone:
On occasion.

Piper:
Oh, no! Am I dead again?

Phoebe:
The wrong thing done for the right reason is still the wrong thing.

Phoebe:
[referring to Zankou who now has the Book of Shadows] What do you think he wants?

Paige:
[laughs] Our heads on a platter.

Piper:
Wasn't there a confidence spell in the book?

Phoebe:
Yeah, remember we cast it on that waiter at Quake?

Piper:
Wow. Quake. That was a long time ago.

Paige:
They're d*cks.

Kyle Brody:
[chuckles] D*cks.

Paige:
No, like private eyes. Detectives. Don't you see? They wrote themselves in as the heroes of their own books. Like Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe.

Piper:
What's that?

Leo:
That's our little boy.

Piper:
What are we gonna do?

Leo:
What we always do.

Piper:
Talk about it later.

Leo:
Dammit!

Paige:
Are Elders even allowed to swear?

Leo:
No, but fathers are.

Strife:
[two of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are fighting] Yeah, right, kill them all, that's your solution for everything.

Death:
You want a fight?

Strife:
[smiles] It's my specialty.

Piper:
How can you be so evil?

Cole:
It's a gift.

Cole:
[to Phoebe] We're hardly typical. I proposed to you under a hail of demon goo, and you accepted while I was bleeding to death.

Prue:
Where's Piper?

Leo:
Upstairs, recovering from what happened at the office.

Prue:
Why? What happened?

Leo:
She... sort of... blew some of it up.

Cole:
[knocking is heard, and Cole appears in the manor; Phoebe gives him a look] What? I... I knocked.

Phoebe:
[about Cole] He's soul-searching... or off searching for a soul.

Bacarra:
I'm Bacarra, I've come here from the future.

Cole:
...Well, I can't say I've heard that before.

Piper:
Are you going to help or are you just going to ramble?

Paige:
I'm just going to ramble!

Tracer Demon:
[after seeing that Phoebe has stabbed her nightmare creature, and thereby also hurt herself] Would Freud have a field day with this or what?

Jason Dean:
[inviting Phoebe to dinner] Do you like Chinese? [Phoebe pauses for a second] Food, not people.

Piper:
I think I know how to find the demon... [a stranger gives her a look] -stration. Demonstration. [indicates Paige] She knows what I'm talking about.

Leo Wyatt:
[to Wyatt, right after Grams has left the room] Now you know why we don't summon her more often.

Piper:
Paige! There will be no talk of testicle-orbing in front of the baby!

Leo:
Or his father.

Paige:
[after getting stuck on the wall by a spider-demon] Bug spray. We should've used bug spray.

Paige:
Call me butter, 'cause I'm on a roll.

Drake Robin:
The point is, Leo and Piper's love, it's epic, it's massive. It's Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra, Brad and Jennifer.

Paige:
All tragedies, I might add.

Angel of Destiny:
We Angels of Destiny only intervene in extreme circumstances.

Angel of Destiny:
[slightly excited] Mozart age 7, Michelangelo, Albert Einstein

Angel of Destiny:
[Disappointed]... Britney Spears

[after Leo telling her he might not be around when the boys are older]

Piper:
Is that why you didn't want to go around the world in 80 orbs?

Paige:
You call that a rah, rah speech? You are supposed to be cheering her up, not pushing her off the edge!

Piper:
I don't need to take a deep breath! I need to find my husband!

Drake Robin:
Don't worry, love will conquer all!

Piper:
I thought ghosts could go anywhere they wanted!

Cole:
You are not a ghost, you are inbetween.

[after watching Piper freeze a cop]

Phoebe:
What a cool power, I hate her.

Leo:
[talking about making a costume for Wyatt's school play] You wanted a normal life, remember?

Piper:
[at the book, willing to conjure a costume] Look, that was before I realized our son was going to be humiliated in front of his entire class!

Billie Jenkins:
Happened to me all the time. Only made me stronger.

Piper:
And shut it!

Piper Halliwell:
[after witnessing something she and Billie can't explain] Forget it, Jenkins... it's Chinatown.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, did you hear about Chicken?

Dog:
You mean Rooster?

Phoebe Halliwell:
[walking down stairs with Paige to see Leo an Piper kissing] Oh! All right, stop it! You just stop it right now! Stop it, Stop it, Stop it! You go over there you over here [Piper starts slapping her] Oh! Keep your hands to your self!

Piper Halliwell:
But your interupting us...

Phoebe Halliwell:
...and saving life as we know it...

Leo Wyatt:
What are you talking about?

Paige Matthews:
Look at your outfit! Does that seem like something you'd normally wear?

Leo Wyatt:
...well no.

Paige Matthews:
[whispers] exactly. [speaking normally] This [turns Leo's head toward her] is not the first time we've been highjacked by Gods so, you just have to fight it!

Leo Wyatt:
I don't wanna fight it... I havn't felt this potent in years. [Piper raises eyebrows]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oversharing...

Piper Halliwell:
Nice! [after a sword fight]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Wow!

Piper Halliwell:
Leo!

Phoebe Halliwell:
I thought you were a pacifist.

Leo Wyatt:
I didn't kill him, did I?

[after Leo bests a medieval guard in a sword fight]

Piper Halliwell:
I have to tell you, I find this side of you very sexy.

Leo Wyatt:
They would have died anyway, it was their destiny. Just like it was your destiny to be saved by magic.

Paige Matthews:
That's how I got out of the car. I orbed out.

Paige Matthews:
Oh my god! I'm so screwed, I'm supposed to come back as a ghost, not a ghost with braces?

Leo Wyatt:
You're meant to relive the experience not observe it, Paige.

Paige Matthews:
Yeah, but I just wanted to come back and sit on the sidelines and make sarcastic comments about my lack of style.

Leo Wyatt:
Just take a look around, Paige.

Paige Matthews:
Hey, you're right, I was cool even then.

Paige Matthews:
It looks bad, I know. But it doesn't turn out this way, I promise. I get a degree in social work, I help others, I even get into Berkley thanks to high test scores and a powerful essay on the death of my... oh, let's just say a powerful essay. Uh... mum and dad, you've got to believe me.

Paige's Father:
How do you know what we think?

Paige Matthews:
'Cause I can see it in your eyes. Disappointment. And, okay, yeah, I deserve it, I do. All I can say for myself is that I'm searching and one day I will find myself.

Paige's Mom:
Paige.

Paige Matthews:
Let me finish. I'll find myself because of you two. You shaped who I am. I am not a bad daughter, you did not raise a bad daughter. I'm good. I just, I wish you could see it.

Paige's Father:
Sweetheart, of course we can see it.

Paige Matthews:
What?

Paige's Mom:
We know you're good. We've always known. But we also know that you're lost and that scares us. And there's nothing in the world we want more than to help you find your way home. We just don't know how.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I never answered your question. Ask me again.

Cole Turner:
Will you marry me?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yes, I will. [Kiss]

Darryl Morris:
Piper.

Piper Halliwell:
Uh huh.

Darryl Morris:
You froze the crime scene.

Piper Halliwell:
Uh huh.

Darryl Morris:
You cannot freeze a crime scene.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, I did.

Clyde:
[having been summoned by Leo] I was with a client! 1969, Woodstock! Hendrix was on stage!

Bacarra:
I'm Bacarra, I've come here from the future.

Cole:
... Well, I can't say I've heard that before.

Mylie:
I'm not evil or anything.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I've heard that one before.

Paige Matthews:
It's official. Phoebe's on the run.

Leo Wyatt:
On the swim, technically.

Piper:
[Looking a her baby photos] Ooo look how squishy i was!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Could someone please get me to the ocean before I SUFFICATE? I need some water.

Paige Matthews:
You want water? I'll get you some water.

[Phoebe is thrown in a bathtub]

Phoebe Halliwell:
You are holding me hostage.

Paige Matthews:
Yep, looks like it.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Look, I am not a common goldfish. I cannot ignore the call of the sea.

Paige Matthews:
Well, the call of the common bathtub is just going to have to do.

[Phoebe splahes Paige with water]

[talking about Phoebe]

Bob Cowan:
What, is she lost at sea?

Paige Matthews:
Uh, you could say that.

Craig Wilson:
Who are you people?

Paige Matthews:
Witch.

Leo Wyatt:
Angel.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Mermaid.

Paige Matthews:
Don't you mean witch?

Piper:
[speaking of Phoebe] She hasn't been this happy since Cole died.

Leo Wyatt:
Which time?

Cole Turner:
All you have to do to free yourself is admit how you truly feel about me... in your heart.

Chris Halliwell:
He tried to run me over with his porsche! Not cool.

Phoebe:
So, you're an angel?

Cole:
Oh, this? No, not really.

Phoebe:
That's okay, neither am I.

Prue:
By the looks of the clothes, I'd say we were in the early 1600s.

Phoebe:
Where the life expectancy of a witch is, oh, 15 minutes.

Prue:
[to Darryl] So in the meantime we can just stick together since we are both dateless.

Piper:
He's not dateless, he's married. You're dateless 'cause you're picky.

Prue:
All right, wait, uh, who do you think we are?

Eva:
The most powerful witches of all time, of course.

Phoebe:
Okay, lucky guess.

Darryl:
First demons I have seen actually, apart from the blonde with the funky snake tongue thingy.

Eva:
Oh, you've made that clock so small, you must posses great powers.

Piper:
No, just a great credit card.

Phoebe:
This costume happens to be a protest statement.

Prue:
I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement and show cleavage all at the same time.

Phoebe:
Thanks.

Dr. Griffiths:
Who the hell are you?

Shax:
The End!

Piper Halliwell:
[last line to Prue] I love you.

Piper Halliwell:
Prue, I'm cold. I can't - I can't - I can't feel my legs. Don't go. I love you.

Prue Halliwell:
They think we're the demons now.

Prue Halliwell:
Look, I know that this all sounds incredible, but it doesn't make it any less true. All right, you're a healer, you do good, now either you have saved too many lives or you're about to save a life that they don't want you to save.

Dr. Griffiths:
They?

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, demons. Uh, more specifically, Shax. He was The Source's assassin.

Dr. Griffiths:
Hold it, I get it. This is a practical joke. Right? Do you have a hidden camera here? My second wife put you up to this? It's just like her.

Prue Halliwell:
O.K., Dr. Griffiths, listen to me, this is anything, but...

Piper Halliwell:
What?

Prue Halliwell:
I don't know, I just felt a chill. Phoebe? Phoebe, are you there? Phoebe, where are you? [Shax appears]

Dr. Griffiths:
Dear God!

Prue Halliwell:
No! [Prue tries to defend the innocent and both Prue and Piper are thrown through the wall]

Prue:
So, Um... do you need help with anything?

Piper:
What happened to doing nothing?

Prue:
I'm finished.

Piper:
You can't finish doing nothing

Prue:
So than how do you know when you're done?

[The Snake and The Rabbit are arrested]

The Rabbit:
Well, at least now we get to stay human!

The Snake:
Shut up.

Prue:
Okay, how are we doing on that spell?

Phoebe Halliwell:
You know, you keep throwing this 'we' word around and I don't see you doing anything.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Look at them. They'll all live to dance another day, and what do we get? We saved the whole darn world. The least thing we could get is a thank you, you know.

Death:
[the Four Horsemen are arguing] Are you looking for a fight?

Strife:
[smiles] It's my specialty.

Prue:
They have secrets, too.

Piper:
Well unless they're transvestite Nazi war criminals with really good face-lifts, ours beats theirs.

Leo Wyatt:
I don't believe you.

Piper:
Leo, it doesn't change anything. We would help the Source himself if we thought we could get Prue back.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I thought dodging the Y2K bullet bought us more time on the whole Apocalypse thing.

Leo Wyatt:
You know why nothing happened on New Years Eve? Because it wasn't the real millennium. The monks who converted the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar made some critical errors.

Piper:
So when does the new millennium start?

Leo Wyatt:
Tonight, approximately.

Bartender:
Everyone has to vote on this: What if a building was on fire - do you save five strangers or one sibling?

Prue, Piper, Phoebe Halliwell:
Five strangers.

Leo Wyatt:
[from behind Phoebe, thinking she is Piper] Ever done it on a cloud?

Phoebe Halliwell:
[turning around] I don't know, does a featherbed count?

Evan Stone:
You can't fight back. That's like struggling in quicksand. Don't play. Look, whatever energy they're throwing at you just pass right on by, because eventually that energy comes back around and leads to someone else.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, uh, okay, I-I-I really appreciate the whole wax-on, wax-off approach, but couldn't your people just issue some kind of statement?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Is that because I can work tonight or is it because I am now Phoebe Halliwell, college student.

Piper Halliwell:
The barman has a connection at the docks.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Wait, you smuggled it in?

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, Phoebe. It's fruit, not drugs.

Prue Halliwell:
After everything that I've seen in my life, and believe me, I've seen a lot of weird stuff, it takes a lot to scare me. But this time, I'm really scared.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, don't be sorry, Paige. You were brave, and you inspired me to fight and you made the world a safer place for our baby. Which is why I would like to give the baby the middle name of Matthew in honor of his super-protective Aunt Paige.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I think that's a great idea.

Leo Wyatt:
What do you think?

Leo Wyatt:
Yeah.

Paige Matthews:
Thanks.

Piper Halliwell:
And I also have an idea for his first name. Wyatt, in honor of his very protective daddy.

Leo Wyatt:
Really? It doesn't start with a "P."

Piper Halliwell:
Eh, so we break the tradition.

Billie Jenkins:
I think this whole thing's just a little outdated. You know, it might used to have been more clear-cut, but now men are just wimps or thugs. It's women that are balanced.

Piper:
[after Billie turns Leo invisible with her new powers] Oh, NO! Who's gonna pick up the kids?

Piper Halliwell:
Where are you off to?

Prue Halliwell:
Lunch date with Dick.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Dull Dick? Prue, you are too hot to have to duty date.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, well, all demon-hunting and no play has made me a lot less picky. I gotta figure out a way to put some more balance in my life.

Piper Halliwell:
Yeah, but you don't need Dick.

Phoebe:
Flyings awesome. It's the landing part that's a b*tch.

Genie:
Look, uh, you're probably a little bit upset, huh?

Piper Halliwell:
No, I've moved past upset and straight to pissed off.

Genie:
Plus, that and they'll kill me.

Piper Halliwell:
They're going to have to wait in line.

Dragon Warlock:
And where the hell did you come from?

Genie:
Oh, no, no. That's where *you* came from.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Um, just out of curiosity, what would you wish for yourself? I mean, you must of heard them all, right? So what would be your wish?

Genie:
That's easy. I wish for the little things, you know, things people take for granted. I mean, the feeling of a sun tan. Taste of ice cream, preferably chocolate. Sex - that looks like that could be a little bit of fun. To be human. Yeah, that's what I'd wish for.

Piper Halliwell:
If we're ever gonna make this work, I think I deserve to know a little bit more about you, don't you think?

Leo Wyatt:
What do you mean?

Piper Halliwell:
I mean, I'm going with you, Leo. I'd like to meet 'them'.

Leo Wyatt:
Are you sure?

Piper Halliwell:
Positive. [puts her arms around him] Take me to your leader.

Paige Matthews:
You know, what, Cole? Just bite me.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Hello? This is Phoebe Halliwell. Hi, doctor, did the test results come in? I'm... what? [faints]

Doctor:
I double-checked the results myself. You're pregnant, Miss Halliwell. Congratulations. Miss Halliwell? Miss Halliwell? Hello?

[after finding out half-demon Cole posed as a DA]

Paige Matthews:
You were a demon *and* a lawyer? Insert joke here.

Cole Turner:
Speaking of unanswered questions...

Phoebe Halliwell:
There is a demon on the loose, Cole, we don't have time for this.

Cole Turner:
Shouldn't we make time for it?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, not now, we shouldn't.

Piper Halliwell:
What are you guys talking about?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Nothing.

Cole Turner:
Nothing.

Cole:
[entering Manor with Phoebe, both are covered in green goo] Don't you think we should talk about this?

Phoebe:
Talk about what?

Piper:
Wow, looks like you two got a juicy one.

Phoebe:
Yeah, but unfortunately no the one who kills witches.

Piper:
How do you know?

Cole:
Because upper-level demons have a human form and they bleed red, not green.

Piper:
Ah. [Phoebe heads upstairs] .

Cole:
Where are you going?

Phoebe:
I'm going up to take a shower first and then I'm going to check The Book of Shadows. I wanna ID this demon I'm wearing, try to find some answers.

Cole:
Speaking of unanswered questions...

Phoebe:
There is a demon in the loose Cole, we don't have time for this.

Cole:
Shouldn't we make time for it?

Phoebe:
No, not now we shouldn't.

Piper:
What are you guys talking about?

Phoebe:
Nothing.

Cole:
Nothing. [shakes head]

Phoebe:
Please Cole, let's just focus on vanquishing the demon.

Cole:
Fine. I'll go see what I can find out. [shimmers out]

Piper:
What happened between you and Cole?

Phoebe:
Oh, yeah that. Um, I'm not exactly sure... He asked me to marry him.

Piper:
What? He did what? He did.

Phoebe:
More or less.

Piper:
What did you say?

Phoebe:
I didn't know what to say. I was too surprised. All my power of premonition and I never saw that one coming.

Piper:
Uh, wow. I-I-I don't think a witch is allowed to marry a demon. Heh-honey we can't have a demon in the family.

Phoebe:
Piper, that is the least of my concerns right now.

Piper:
Well, don't kid yourself, if you decide to go through with this... it's going to be a source of huge concerns, especially for them [She points up]

Phoebe:
I have to be concerned with my own concerns, you know [Pause] I love Cole, you know I do, but demon stuff aside; I just never thought of myself as the marrying type. It's not something I fantasized about. Ever.

Piper:
So then what are you going to tell him?

Phoebe:
I don't know.

Piper:
Well you have to tell him something because a question like that doesn't go away by itself.

Phoebe:
Are you sure?

Piper:
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Paige:
Hey I think I got something. [looking through the Book of Shadows] Upper-level demon who likes to kill witches using a athame, sometimes energy balls. His name is Belthozar.

Leo Wyatt:
[shaking his head] I don't think so.

Paige:
Why not?

Leo Wyatt:
Well because that's Cole in his demonic form.

Piper:
You knew he was half-demon.

Paige:
Yeah, but I didn't know he could turn into that.

Paige:
[Leo and Piper kiss] Ahh. That's sweet. You two should get married. Unlike Phoebe and Cole.

Leo:
You don't think they should?

Paige:
I don't know. I guess it's not my business. Probably just reeling from the fact that Cole killed people.

Piper:
Yeah, but that wasn't Cole, it was Belthozar.

Paige:
Splitting hairs if you ask me.

Leo:
It's not though. His human half had absolutely nothing to do with any of that. It was totally subjecated. Phoebe's right, he's an innocent.

Leo:
Why don't you go into the front room and meet Natalie?

Phoebe:
Who's Natalie?

Piper:
Oh she's a bi...

Leo:
Fellow whitelighter, see now I'm finishing your sentences.

Piper:
Hmm... That's not what I was going to say.

Prue:
You guys can [clucks tongue] chit chat all you want, me I'm gonna go look in the Book of Shadows, 'kay?

Natalie:
I'll go with you. I got a look at that warlock. I might be able to identify him.

Prue:
All right. Well, it's up in the attic.

Natalie:
Attic? You mean the altar room, don't you? The rules are very clear! Every witch must keep their Book of Shadows in a sacred and protected spot.

Prue:
Right. Of course.

Leo:
Maybe you can just bring the Book down here.

Prue:
Yeah. Yeah, I'll just run up to the *Altar Room*, which by the way is right next to the Potions Lab, and I'll be right back.

Leo Wyatt:
Hey, if you wanna freeze me in bed for your own personal pleasures that's fine. But freezing Natalie is not gonna make her or the Elders happy.

Prue:
[after Natalie was unfrozen] Piper froze ya.

Natalie:
She what?

Prue:
[laughing] Yep.

Leo:
Piper, what are you doing?

Piper:
Getting irritated. Who put Lady Attitude in charge?

Leo:
She's not in charge.

Piper:
Really? 'Cause she's acting like it. I thought Whitelighters were supposed to guide, not dictate.

Eames:
Did I miss all the fun? No, wait I am the fun

Natalie:
Good, you're still here.

Piper:
Speaking of cocky.

Natalie:
I consulted the Elders, and they want you to hold back. They think the witch Phoebe saw might be a force of darkness.

Prue:
A Darklighter actually.

Natalie:
How do you know?

Piper:
We went, we saw, we didn't quite conquer.

Phoebe:
Alright, you know what? This is too hard usually in these situations, you know. Everything happens so quickly, the adrenaline is pumping.

Natalie:
I want you to think using your brains, not your glands. Now try again.

Phoebe:
Is something wrong.

Piper:
No. Everything is just right.

Paige:
Except my chair...

Piper:
Yeah... which, ummm, I'll actually pay to replace.

Paige:
Oh God no. It's not your fault. [Paige pauses] Or is it?

Piper:
Actually, yeah... it is. I was just upset that there was yet another demon in our house, in our lives. And I know I should stop fighting it and just accept it, but...

Paige:
Nah. It wasn't my favorite chair. Besides, it is kinda good to know I am not the only one who struggles with the idea of being a witch.

Phoebe:
No, trust me, you are in good company.

Leo:
Well, the good news is that you won't have to deal with the Source anytime soon, because Cole hurt him pretty bad.

Cole:
Not bad enough though, he'll be back.

Phoebe:
So. [Phoebe rubs her hands up and down Cole's chest] He's gone for now. First time in a long time. Maybe we should take advantage of that.

Cole:
[Cole pulls Phoebe up against him] Why Ms. Haliwell, are you trying to seduce me?

Phoebe:
Always.

Piper:
Ewwww...

Phoebe, Cole:
[Phoebe and Cole race up the stairs laughing]

Paige:
Okay... I'm just going to go to the store and get some milk or something... [Paige leaves]

Leo:
[to Piper] You sure you're okay?

Piper:
Yeah. I mean, I'm never going to stop wanting a normal life, but I think thats the one thing that actually keeps me sane.

Leo:
Well, you deserve a normal life Piper. We both do. And maybe we'll get that once we banish the Source once and for all.

Piper:
And who knows. Maybe one day I could have a baby shower of my own. What do you think?

Leo:
Well in that case... [Leo picks Piper up and cradles her in his arms]

Piper:
Oh!

Leo:
[Leo grins] Need to practice a little.

Piper:
Leo!

Piper, Leo:
[Piper and Leo orb off in a shower of blue sparks. You hear Leo laughing]

Paige:
What happened?

Piper:
The freaking furniture just attacked!

Piper:
[to Alaster] I'm going to be so happy when I vanquish your sorry ass.

Cole:
You're the only one who knows I'm alive.

Phoebe:
Actually that's not true. I couldn't keep lying to my sisters. I had to tell them.

Cole:
Okay. That's okay. I understand, as long as you didn't tell Leo. [pause, Phoebe turns her head] Oh for God's sake, Phoebe, why didn't you just put an ad in the paper? Tell the whole damn world.

Phoebe:
Maybe I should have.

Cole:
There's no such thing as evil love. It's just gratification. Lust.

Phoebe:
[after turning Leo into a stick in the mud] Look at all the fun we've been missing.

Piper Halliwell:
Do we look merry to you?

Piper Halliwell:
You missed. And if you put a hole in my wall you'll have me to answer to, not some prince.

Drake:
My apologies, good woman, but my aim must be true if I am to right John's wrongs.

Piper Halliwell:
Right. Just be careful.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What is he doing with my phone bill?

Piper Halliwell:
What kind of Robin Hood rides a motorcycle?

Piper Halliwell:
Sheridan's back?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Did I forget to mention that?

Piper Halliwell:
Helmets please, people.

Drake:
You saved me?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Of course. What would you expect from Maid Marian?

Paige Matthews:
And your merry men.

Piper Halliwell:
Women.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Wait a minute, you just said something.

Paige Matthews:
I did. Was it smart?

Paige Matthews:
Eww. You hit on Leo? [in the past]

Leo Wyatt:
Yeah, only special familiars, like Katrina, are rewarded for their service by becoming human.

Katrina:
To guide other familiars. That's why the warlock was after me. Take out familiars, and you leave their witches defenseless, vulnerable.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

Leo Wyatt:
Piper, what are you doing? You can't freeze the shrink, we're on the clock!

Piper Halliwell:
Forget the clock we are gonna need a calender cause this is gonna take months.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, if it makes you feel any better, you didn't miss much with me. I'm pretty much the exact same person I was back then.

Paige Matthews:
Yeah, right.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, I'm serious. I mean, I have a job now and that's good. But, you know, I'm still living at home, I'm still single. The only real difference is that I'm five years older. I need to use more expensive night cream.

Piper Halliwell:
Are you sure I can't get you anything? Coffee, tea, a saucer of milk?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I was under a spell. Evil.

Paige Matthews:
Evil? You were blonde!

Piper Halliwell:
[Remember dancing on the bar at P3] Don't ask, next memory.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[to Paige, as Prue turned into a dog runs by] Well, you always said you wanted to meet Prue!

Leo Wyatt:
I work, she says I'm never around. I quit my job, she says I'm around too much.

Paige Matthews:
Happy birthday, Cole.

Phoebe Halliwell:
That's very sweet, but I don't need Cole to be vanquished to find peace. I'm ok. Really. I am free of him emotionally.

Paige Matthews:
She's still alive. Grab her hand.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What?

Cole Turner:
I don't know how you got here, Paige. But if it's any consolation, I know exactly where I'm gonna bury you... right next to yourself.

Paige Matthews:
Grab her hand.

[Surrounded by blue light, they release the Power of Three and Cole's energy ball bounces off of them]

Phoebe Halliwell:
The Power of Three.

Paige Matthews:
That's us. Potion! I do hate long good-byes.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No!

Paige Matthews:
Phoebe, are you crazy? Throw it before he shimmers out!

Cole Turner:
She's not gonna throw it. Are you?

Paige Matthews:
Throw the potion.

Cole Turner:
We've been through so much together... haven't we? Our love's so strong, nothing can destroy it, not even this. We're meant to be together.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I don't think so.

[Vanquishes Cole]

Paige Matthews:
You don't recognize me. That's ok. Piper didn't either.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Piper? You know Piper? How is she?

Paige Matthews:
She's different. Look, I don't have a lot of time, so I'm just gonna drop this on you. I am your long-lost sister Paige. I know! It sounds crazy, but it's true. We're all sisters in the real world.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Guards!

Paige Matthews:
Look, I don't know how he did it, but Cole somehow switched realities in his twisted attempt to get you back. I somehow slipped through the cracks and landed here. I don't know how, either, but I need your help in order to turn things back to the way they're supposed to be.

Cole Turner:
I don't care! I am not spending another hundred birthdays without her.

Paige Matthews:
Oh major sneeze. Hey, who turned out the lights? And the heat? Oh. Piper? Piper?

Cole Turner:
This is all messed up. How'd it get messed up? You have no idea what I've given up for you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What about what I've given up, Cole? I've given up my family, my heritage, my life!

Cole Turner:
Oh, yeah? From where I'm standing, it looks like you have a pretty damn good life to me!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Look the only one getting anything out of this is you. And I have no idea what that is. The only reason I'm still here is to make sure that what happened to Prue does not happen to Piper and you know it.

Leo Wyatt:
Who are you?

Paige Matthews:
Are you kidding? You're not kidding. It's me, Paige, your sister-in-law.

Leo Wyatt:
Look, I don't know who you are, lady, and I don't have time for games. All hell is breaking loose out there, so if you don't mind...

Piper Halliwell:
Sure. No problem. Just as soon as you tell me where I can find Shax.

Paige Matthews:
Shax? What's she talking about? We vanquished him already.

Leo Wyatt:
Nobody's vanquished Shax. Ever since he killed Prue, Piper's been obsessed with getting revenge on him.

Paige Matthews:
Ok. What bizarre world have I sneezed my way into? You two are married, and you're expecting, a magical child, no less. And you, you're not La Femme Nikita. You're a Charmed One. You don't mind kicking ass when you have to, but otherwise, you'd rather be hanging out with your sisters, baking cookies or knitting booties.

Paige Matthews:
Oh, God. It's just so weird. Cole living at the manor, all those demons we vanquished wandering around alive. Wait a second. If the demons are alive, then that means all the innocents we saved are dead.

Leo Wyatt:
Not just the innocents, Paige.

Paige Matthews:
What are you talking about? What are we doing here?

[Sees grave stone that reads:
PAIGE MATTHEWS BORN 1975 - DIED 2001]

Leo Wyatt:
Well, your reality sounds a lot better than this one. Not just for Phoebe. So, how can I help you get it back?

Paige Matthews:
I need my sisters.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, maybe we can start with two and go from there.

Paige Matthews:
What are you doing here?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Burying the Lazarus demon. I figured if you were right about that, you were probably right about everything else as well.

Paige Matthews:
The Cliffs Notes version: Our mom had an affair with her Whitelighter Sam, but because of the whole Witch-Whitelighter rule thing, they had to give me up at birth. But when The Elders realized they needed me to remake The Charmed Ones, they tossed out that stupid rule, which, as far as I'm concerned, paved the way for you and Leo to be able to keep your baby.

Paige Matthews:
I'm back!

Leo Wyatt:
Good. I mean that's normal. You don't want to go around just having it all be glossed over, you know.

Paige Matthews:
No. But still... I am happy for him. I mean, he is in a better place. And the thing is, he would really want me to enjoy this new world.

Leo Wyatt:
Well, he died trying to stop it.

Paige Matthews:
Well, that's why I owe it to him to be happy.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What's the matter Zankou, chicken?

Kyle Brody:
Hello, Paige.

Paige Matthews:
Kyle?

Kyle Brody:
[about the snow globe Paige is holding] Careful. That used to mean a lot to me.

Paige Matthews:
Is this really you?

Kyle Brody:
In the flesh. More or less.

Paige Matthews:
I saw you die.

Kyle Brody:
That's right, you did. But as you know, sometimes it doesn't end there.

Paige Matthews:
Are you a Whitelighter?

Kyle Brody:
Feels kind of weird.

Cole:
[after Patty explains about Paige] Who's Sam?

Leo:
Her Whitelighter

Cole:
The apple doesn't fall far from the forbidden tree.

Paige Matthews:
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Thank you. How did you know Prue? From work?

Paige Matthews:
No. Just from around, you know.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Have we met before?

Paige Matthews:
No. I don't... I don't think so. Anyway, my condolences.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Thank you. [Phoebe sees Paige's death as Paige runs off]

Phoebe Halliwell:
She orbed! She orbed! Did you just see that?

Patty Halliwell:
We didn't tell anybody because we were afraid that there would be reprisals, afraid that, you girls would be denied your powers. Your birthright. It happened after your father and I were divorced, when Sam and I were together.

Cole:
Sam?

Leo:
Her white lighter.

Cole:
Apples don't fall far from the forbidden tree, I see.

Piper Halliwell:
Shh! Go on.

Patty Halliwell:
You were both toddlers. You just thought Mommy got a little fat. You never knew I was pregnant.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
I was the only one who knew.

Patty Halliwell:
And Sam, obviously.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Right. Well, yes, of course.

Patty Halliwell:
We wanted to keep the baby, of course. But mother...

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Well, I knew it would be disastrous. You know, before you and Leo, Piper, it wasn't just forbidden. It was unthinkable for witches to be with white lighters. I mean, let alone have children with them.

Patty Halliwell:
So, that's why we had to, why we decided, to give the baby up. Sam and I took her to a local church as soon as she was born. And we asked the nun there to find a home for her, and she found one. A very, very good home.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Yes.

Leo:
Explains why the Elders didn't know about her.

Phoebe Halliwell:
All right, hold it. Wait just one minute. Are you telling me, that that girl, our innocent, is really... our sister?

Patty Halliwell:
Your baby sister.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Their baby half-sister.

Patty Halliwell:
But by my half, which makes her a sister witch. Well, actually, not yet anyway. Not until all three of you are here together by the Book. Just like before.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Charmed. Again.

Paige Matthews:
What have you guys turned me into? [Paige runs out of the attic]

Phoebe Halliwell:
We call the spirits to help undo and send him off to... Timbuktu. Whoa. It worked.

Paige Matthews:
The door was open. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, no, no. We were just coming to look for you.

Paige Matthews:
You were?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yep. Come on in. Welcome. I'm Phoebe. And this is...

Piper Halliwell:
Piper. I know. I've been to your club. Pretty great.

Piper Halliwell:
Thank you. And you are?

Paige Matthews:
Paige. My name is Paige.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Hmm. Another P. Imagine that.

Piper Halliwell:
It's nice to meet you. [Piper shakes Paige's hand. Once all three sisters are touching they are surrounded by a bright blue light]

Paige Matthews:
Okay. What was that?

Leo:
I think that means you're supposed to be here.

[after Phoebe magically sends Inspector Cortez to Timbuktu]

Piper Halliwell:
You sent him to Timbuktu?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, it was the only thing I could think of that rhymes with "undo".

Phoebe:
I figured only one of us could break down at a time, otherwise, we'd both be useless.

[after Shane pushes Piper and Phoebe to the alter with his powers]

Piper Halliwell:
What the hell was that?

Sister Agnes:
You tell me.

Piper Halliwell:
You have to trust us.

Paige Matthews:
Trust you, you just froze a nun. How do I know you're not the evil ones?

Phoebe:
Hmm, another P, imagine that.

Leo:
Are you sure she orbed? Are you sure that wasn't something else?

Phoebe:
Leo, she disappeared. Bright, white, shiny... thingies came and she reappeared. [pause] What else could it be?

Leo:
It just doesn't make any sense.

Cole:
Why not?

Leo:
Why would Shax want to kill a whitelighter?

Cole:
Maybe he doesn't know she's a whitelighter.

Leo:
Right... The Source sends out his personal assassin but doesn't know who he's after. [Piper clangs dishes in background]

Phoebe:
Is it possible she didn't know she's a whitelighter?

Leo:
No, why?

Cole:
Because she acted as if she didn't. She acted just as surprised as we were when she orbed out.

Leo:
That doesn't make any sense either.

Phoebe:
Okay, why don't you go up and ask the Elders what does make sense, so we don't go risking our lives again?

Leo:
I'll be right back.

Cole:
[Cole shimmers into room] Sorry I took so long. I had to dodge a couple bounty hunters.

Leo:
Did you find anything out?

Cole:
You have no idea what I found out. Turns out The Source doesn't think she's a whitelighter at all, in fact, he thinks she might be another [pauses and points at Piper and Phoebe] Charmed One. That's why he put Shax on it. He thought he ended the Power of Three, now he's worried that the girl may some how reconstitute it.

Phoebe:
No, but that's not possible, [turns to Leo] Is that possible? [Leo shrugs, Piper turns and walks out of the room]

Phoebe:
Piper?

Cole:
Piper?

Cole:
Sam?

Leo Wyatt:
Her whitelighter. [referring to Patty]

Cole:
Hmmm. Apples don't fall far from the forbidden tree, I see.

Piper:
Shhh!

Phoebe:
Leo, how is it possible for an angel to even get knocked out. I mean you are after all technically dead.

Leo Wyatt:
Three years together and now you're asking these questions.

Piper:
Well, uh, I think the more appropriate questions is: How does a whitelighter get somebody knocked up?

Piper Halliwell:
We barely got through the funeral and then everything started to go crazy and we haven't had a chance to mourn yet. And that's just not right.

Paige Matthews:
So does this mean I get free drinks now? Oh, I didn't mean it like that. It's not that I really drink or... Okay. I'm just gonna go.

Paige Matthews:
I won't stay long. I just wanted to come by and thank you.

Phoebe:
For what?

Paige Matthews:
For what? You mean, beside from saving my life. I feel like I should bake you a cake or something.

Piper Halliwell:
Do you cook?

Paige Matthews:
No, no. Not really.

Phoebe:
Can I ask you a question?

Paige Matthews:
Hmmm.

Piper Halliwell:
Why did you come to Prue's funeral? I mean, you never even met her. Right?

Paige Matthews:
No. I never did. I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, but I just feel like a part of me lost her too and I just... I felt drawn to her; to all you guys. I guess it was just a part of me trying to find out who I was.

Piper Halliwell:
Come on. There's something we need to show you.

Paige Matthews:
Show me what?

Phoebe:
What good magic can do.

Piper Halliwell:
Here these words. Hear my cry spirit from the other side. Come to me, I summon thee. Cross now the Great Divide. [Patty Halliwell appears]

Phoebe:
There's someone here we thought you should meet.

Patty Halliwell:
Paige.

Paige Matthews:
Mom? [Patty steps up and embraces Paige]

Patty Halliwell:
Welcome home.

Paige Matthews:
They? My mother and my father?

Sister Agnes:
They came in a swirl of bright white lights just like angels!

Paige Matthews:
White lights. What do you mean?

Sister Agnes:
Well, that's how they appeared, with you in their arms! I was stunned. I didn't know what to think. They said that you were in great danger, that they had no other choice but to give you up, to protect you.

[after Piper, Phoebe, and Paige vanquish Shax]

Phoebe:
It's not enough. Shax was just the messenger. We need to get The Source.

Paige Matthews:
The source of what?

[Piper and Phoebe exchange nervous glances]

Piper Halliwell:
Of All Evil.

Piper Halliwell:
Who would shoot a gnome? And why is the G silent?

Eddie Mullen:
Of all the books... in all the libraries... in all of the world... you gotta get sucked into this one.

[Miss Donovan is crying about the gnome murder]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Aw, Miss Donovan, ahy are you crying?

Paige Matthews:
One of our teachers. He...

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh. Did he break your heart? Well you call the right person. I can handle this.

Paige Matthews:
No...

Phoebe Halliwell:
Shhh. Cupid works alone. [to Miss Donovan] Now did he hurt you? I know, I know, it hurts. But you can't give up on love. It could be the biggest mistake you ever make. Now I could fix you up with one of my readers because I'm doing this series in my paper where I play Matchmaker. I actually have one in mind for you.

Paige Matthews:
Wait. He didn't break her heart. He was murdered.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh. Why didn't you tell me that?

Paige Matthews:
I tried to but Cupid shushed me.

Eddie Mullen:
Of all the books in all the libraries in all the world, you gotta get sucked into this one?

Paige Matthews:
Don't worry. Magical things happen to us all the time, but this is the first time in black and white.

Kyle Brody:
It may be a fictional world, but those bullets seemed pretty damn real to me.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I am trying my hand at being a novelist. See if I can write in a little twist to help Paige out. Then suddenly... they got a flat tire.

Inspector Davis:
You're a little heartbreaker, aren't you? A regular femme fatale.

Paige Matthews:
Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just crazy, crazy for cops, tough cops. The kinda cops that'll arrest your heart, make you long for a life sentence with 'em. You know any cops like that?

The Seer:
Oh, I didn't do this for your future, I did it for mine.

[about the demon in Phoebe's premonition]

Cole Turner:
He doesn't work for The Source, he *is* The Source.

Old Paige:
Well, now I'm a ma'am.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[Enters room] Yo ho, Hello!

Piper Halliwell:
Did you just call me a ho?

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
That my being a witch was such an important part of my life and what it meant to me, and what it might mean to you someday.

[after Patty reverses the sibling rivalry spell]

Victor Bennett:
So how does this work, exactly? You remember everything that happened?

Phoebe Halliwell:
[in horror] Oh, my God. Yes. Leslie.

Paige Matthews:
[in shock] Oh, my goodness, I tongued a student.

Phoebe:
Hello, privacy!

Prue:
Hello, axe murderer!

Prue:
[Prue is taking some photos of Piper, while she is drinking hot tea and looking through the window] So I think I'll call this, "Woman Pretending Not to Look Out the Window".

Piper Halliwell:
How about "Girl About to Pour Hot Tea On Sister's Head". Let me see?

[she saw her pictures]

Piper Halliwell:
Either I'm transparent, or you're that good.

Prue:
Well, I don't think I'll comment, since you do have hot liquid over my head.

Billy:
It's Okay, the man is here to save the day

Prue:
Billy, it's the 21st century. It's the woman's job to save the day.

[after Phoebe puts the Demon of Illusion into the movie]

Film Geek:
That was the coolest thing I ever seen!

Phoebe:
It's all part of the movie, sir.

Piper Halliwell:
I'm being stalked by psycho killers and I hide in the shower.

Chris:
[to baby Wyatt] If I can't save you I swear to God I'll stop you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[after Elise suggests Phoebe go see Jason in Hong Kong] It's just another airport, another city.

Elise Rothman:
You can always send in the column. Email, fax machine! It's the 21st century and I'd like to welcome you to it.

Lynn:
Do you have to leave so soon? Can't I help?

Bianca:
[turning to face her mother] Yeah. Someday, when I ask you what it feels like to kill, don't lie to me. Don't tell me you don't feel a thing.

Wyatt Halliwell:
You know, if anyone else tried what you tried, I'd kill them on the spot. But you... I've forgiven Bianca, I can forgive you too. If you promise never to cross me again.

Chris:
I think you know me better than that.

Wyatt Halliwell:
[to Bianca] I thought you said you could talk some sense into him.

Chris:
Leave her out of this.

Wyatt Halliwell:
[begins crushing Chris's neck with his powers] Pardon me?

Bianca:
You really shouldn't try to orb anymore, you know. It could kill ya.

Chris:
Is that what you want?

Bianca:
If that's what I wanted you'd already be dead. All I want is to bring you back.

Chris:
How'd you know I'd be here?

Bianca:
Same reason you knew I'd be waiting here. This is still our spot, isn't it?

Chris:
No. This is what we hoped it would be. This is what we were trying to preserv for our future. You remember?

Bianca:
We were naive to think we could change anything. To stop him.

Chris:
You don't believe that. Or at least you didn't.

Bianca:
Well, I do now.

Chris:
What happened to you, Bianca? How did he turn you back?

Bianca:
That's not important. What is important is that I was interrupted in stripping you of your powers. And if I don't finish what I started you'll die soon. Think of it as an infection, and I'm the only one with the antidote.

Chris:
Here or there I am dead anyway.

Bianca:
No. He gave me his word he wouldn't hurt you. Please, Chris... don't make this any harder than it has to be. [Chris looks at Bianca and orbs to the Manor.]

Leo:
[Prue stabs Piper with a knife in a plan to get a possesed soul out of her] Prue! I can't heal the dead!

[Leo takes the knife out of Piper to heal her, but instead the possessed soul enters him]

Leo:
Well that I didn't expect. A little sister rivalry I failed to take into account.

Piper:
Being here makes me feel exactly like I did when I was 16. Invisable and inferior.

Prue:
Do you want me to beat them up. Because I"l-l-l beat them up one by one.

Terra:
What kind of witch can't kill a demon without her sisters?

Piper:
[Her reflection in the mirror as she was possessed] What the hell kind of demon has a panic attack when her boyfriend comes to visit?

Phoebe:
I'm not saying that you're wrong, I'm just saying that I hope you're wrong. [sees Piper dancing on the bar counter] O-o-oh!

Prue:
Oh!

Phoebe:
Hope... dashed.

Gideon:
So then, despite what Barbas would have you believe, regardless of outside influences, the sisters have always managed to protect magic, and therefore based upon all the evidence, we ask the tribunal, no, we demand that the cleaners be forced to reverse what they have done, that Lieutenant Morris be freed, and that The Charmed Ones be allowed to do what they have always done so well... cover their own tracks. Respectfully.

[Yama appears in the distance and is galloping toward Piper and Mark Chao]

Mark Chao:
Yama!

Piper:
Yama? Run!

Mark Chao:
It's too late. You better go. Run! [Piper freezes Yama] What happened?

Piper:
I'm a good witch remember?

Mark Chao:
But how?

Piper:
I don't know. I panic, I put up both hands and bad things tend to freeze.

Mark Chao:
For how long?

Piper:
Not very. Let's go.

[They run down the alley and Yama unfreezes. Yama's eyes glow bright green]

Piper:
I've never seen anybody killed before.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Jeremy.

Prue Halliwell:
Javna.

Piper:
I mean humans.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We're The Charmed Ones, Prue, not The Doomed Ones.

Piper:
I snuck the photograph into Andy's interoffice mail.

Mark Chao:
My afterlife's in the hands of a cop named Andy.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I am so busted, aren't I?

Piper:
Are you out of your mind again?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No. I'm the Amazing Phoebe.

Piper:
This is not funny. Our powers are supposed to be a secret, not a marketable job skill.

Piper:
[sobbing] Leave it to me to fall for a *dead guy*!

[after saving Mr Correy's life]

Phoebe Halliwell:
That'll be 20 dollars. Tip not included.

Piper:
Close your eyes. Pretend you can feel my hand on your skin, that my touch gives you comfort. Just close your eyes.

Mark Chao:
Where were you all my life?

Mark Chao:
For everything you've done for me. I just ask one favour, use them for your sisters surprise birthday party.

Piper:
Prue doesn't want a party.

Mark Chao:
Birthdays are important. I know, I walked out of my last one and it never occurred to me that I wouldn't get another. She may not know it but she needs to celebrate her birthday, we all do. Don't take it for granted.

Mark Chao:
All those stories, all those legends you taught me, you saved my soul, mum. You were right. Take it from me, Prue, don't miss your birthday. Not any of them, they're precious.

Mark Chao:
Wong.

Tony Wong:
But you're dead.

Mark Chao:
Yeah, so are you.

Piper:
[Yama appears] Mark, I think you should get outta here.

Mark Chao:
Make a wish, you bastard. [throws Wong on spear]

Piper:
No, you can't take him. He's a good man, he doesn't belong with you. [Yama disappears]

Darryl Morris:
It's a friendly warning. What they're doing... and what they're all about, it's above reproach. I wouldn't mess with them if I were you.

Cole:
I can't do that. If the demons get to you, they'll find out the way to get to me is to kill Phoebe. And I can't let that happen.

Inspector Reece Davidson:
When you say demon, you...

Cole:
I don't mean it as a metaphor.

Cole:
Inspector, you're in a room with three witches and a demon, you really think that gun's gonna help?

The Angel of Death:
[laughs incredulously] You still don't get it do you? There's nothing you can do.

Prue:
I can't just let an innocent man die!

The Angel of Death:
You have to let him die, you have no choice. And until you can learn to accept that, you'll just keep missing the bigger picture.

Prue:
What bigger picture?

The Angel of Death:
Here, I'll show you. [He extends his hand, which Prue regards warily. Death smiles slightly] Oh, don't worry: it's not your time. Or not just yet, anyway. [Prue takes Death's hand and they vanish]

The Angel of Death:
It's the bigger picture, Prue. Focusing all your anger against me leaves you vulnerable to the real evils of this world. You'd do well to remember that in the future. What?

Prue:
I don't know. You know, I've been, I've been mad at you for so long, ever since mom died, I don't know how else to be.

The Angel of Death:
You grieve... and then you move on.

Leo:
[talking about Piper making Wyatt a costume for a school play, Piper wants to use magic] You wanted a normal life, remember?

Piper:
Yes, but that was before I realized our son was going to be humiliated in front of his entire class!

Billie Jenkins:
Oh, that happened to me all the time. Only made me stronger.

Piper:
And shut it!

[about demons taking over Magic School]

Piper:
What do they want with Wyatt?

Billie Jenkins:
They need him to help bring back... "the Source"?

[Piper, Phoebe, and Paige exchange nervous glances]

Billie Jenkins:
Okay, Leo looked just like that when he heard that name. Who is this guy? I mean, how do we nail him?

Piper:
You don't. We do. You're not ready, trust me.

Prue Halliwell:
[mumbles] Can't fall asleep. Can't fall asleep.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[as Piper is flipping through the Book of Shadows] I'm telling you, there's no Dream Sorcerer stuff anywhere.

Piper Halliwell:
That's impossible. The Book of Shadows has never let us down.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, maybe he's not a demon. Maybe he's a mortal.

Piper Halliwell:
Then he's got one hell of a power.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You're not kidding.

Phoebe Halliwell:
There must be more to our powers than warlock-wasting.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You want a man who is single, smart, endowed?

Piper Halliwell:
Employed.

Prue Halliwell:
Piper? Phoebe?

Piper Halliwell:
Prue. You're home. I thought you had a date with Andy.

Prue Halliwell:
Uh, no. He had to cancel. What are you doing?

Piper Halliwell:
Hmm...

Phoebe Halliwell:
[from the other room] Piper, I was wrong. The spell calls for cayenne pepper not black pepper.

[She walks in the kitchen and sees Prue]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Ooh. Did I say spell? I... I meant recipe. We are so busted, aren't we?

Prue Halliwell:
I would say yes.

Piper Halliwell:
[after trying to copy an exercise video] Uh, I give up. Two weeks and nothing strengthened but my temper.

Prue Halliwell:
Piper, here's the problem. You didn't read the fine print. See, it says right here. $19.95 for the video and twenty grand for the plastic surgeon.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You want a man who is single, smart, endowed?

Piper Halliwell:
Employed.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, sorry, employed. A man who loves sleeping in on Sunday, sunset bike rides, cuddling by a roaring fire, and late-night talks. A man who loves love as much as you do. Wow. You're a romantic.

Piper Halliwell:
Yep. Your turn. You want the sexy, silent type that finds you driving through town on the back of a Harley at 3:00 in the morning. A man who appreciates scented candles, body oils and Italian sheets.

Phoebe Halliwell:
He's about hunger and lust and danger and even know you know all this, even know you know he'll never meet your friends or share a holiday meal with your family, you still can't stay away. And he recycles.

Piper Halliwell:
He recycles?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah. And I think it goes without saying we both want a man who is well employed.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Don't worry. We had safe sex. A lot of safe sex.

Piper Halliwell:
Would you like to see my tattoo?

Jack Manford:
Would you like to see mine?

Piper Halliwell:
Is there nothing I can say to turn you off?

Jack Manford:
There really isn't. Which is kind of strange, actually.

Piper Halliwell:
Not really. Jack, you're under a... [Piper gets kissed]

Piper Halliwell:
Spell. [she nervously laughs as everyman in the restaurant is eying her]

Hans:
Morning.

Hans:
Excuse me, but who are you?

Piper Halliwell:
Who cares?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
That's what Berman's researching at the lab. Dream leaping. The ability to project himself into someone else's dreams.

Darryl Morris:
Into women's dreams and killing them? Now who's dreaming.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Not just any women. Women who reject him. Just like Julie Derikson did. She broke up with him when they were driving somewhere. He got into an accident. That's why he's paralyzed. It's on there in the police report. The day after he went back to work at the lab, Julie Derikson died suspiciously. Six months later, two more women died in their sleep. Crushed to death. Coincidence? You tell me.

Piper Halliwell:
What happened?

Piper Halliwell:
He wouldn't leave me alone all night. He kept touching me. And practically every guy in the bar was hitting on me. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I ditched Hans and left him at the club. So, how was your date?

Piper Halliwell:
Perfect. Everything was perfect. Even my faults were perfect.

Phoebe Halliwell:
And this is a bad thing?

Piper Halliwell:
It wasn't real. Everything he said, everything he felt, it was because of the spell, not because of me.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Piper, you don't know that. Maybe he meant every word. Maybe if it wasn't for the spell he would've never had a chance to feel those things. Let alone say them.

Piper Halliwell:
No, Phoebe. Love is a magic between two people that cannot be explained and cannot be conjured. What we did, it's just... it's not right.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Tons of fun, lots of heats and no strings attached. That's what I want.

Piper Halliwell:
I know this may not sound very P.C., but I want romance. Long, slow kisses, late-night talks, candle lights. I love love. I'd take what Prue has in a flat second.

Piper Halliwell:
So, what's up?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I found this spell. How to attract a lover.

Piper Halliwell:
No, Phoebe. Forget it. We're not casting any spells.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Come on. There must be more to our powers than warlock wasting. I'm ready to have some fun with our magic.

Piper Halliwell:
No. No personal gain, remember?

Phoebe Halliwell:
How is it personal gain if we're using our powers to bring happiness to another person. And in my case lots and lots of happiness.

Piper Halliwell:
Could you pass me that colander, please?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah. Look, I'm not talking about marriage here. We have our thirties to freak out about that. This spell is about having good time.

Piper Halliwell:
I admit it's tempting. The dating scene can be a little frustrating. But bringing men into our life through a spell, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a little bit desperate.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No. How is asking for what you want being desperate? I say it's not. I say it's empowering. Besides, the Book of Shadows says we could reverse this spell at any time.

Piper Halliwell:
Prue?

Prue Halliwell:
Piper. Phoebe.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Prue?

Whitaker Berman:
They can't help you. You're mine, now.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm scared.

Piper Halliwell:
I know. Me too.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What do we do?

Piper Halliwell:
We don't let her give up. Prue, listen to me. You've got to fight with this guy.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Don't leave us.

Piper Halliwell:
Use your power, Prue.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Come back to us.

Piper Halliwell:
Use your power.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You can do it, Prue.

Prue Halliwell:
Where are you?

Whitaker Berman:
You're powerless. [carries Prue to the edge of the roof] Shall I say good night, hmm?

Prue Halliwell:
No, let me. Good night. [Prue uses her power shoving him off the building]

Whitaker Berman:
Asleep? Actually you're unconscious. You fell asleep at the wheel. Hit a pole. Terrible terrible thing. Speaking of pain, you really hurt me last night.

Piper Halliwell:
[Rodriguez rings the doorbell repeatedly] That's a little too anxious. That's not a good sign.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Which means if he doesn't wanna kill Prue, he wants to date her.

Prue Halliwell:
We may not be murderers, but we're no angels either.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Prue, I'm not mad! Ok, well, maybe just a little, but that really has nothing to do with this.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[on the phone with Piper] And if you see a woman named Joanne, she's going to go on and on about her happily married life so tell her to stick it.

Inspector Rodriguez:
Prue Halliwell is a witch.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
A witch, huh? You wait here. I'll go warn the Wizard of Oz.

Tempus:
Hurts to die, doesn't it? Especially at the hands of a witch.

Inspector Rodriguez:
Wait what happened? Where am I?

Tempus:
Exactly where you were when you first met me. Time has been reset. Or rather, I have reset time.

Inspector Rodriguez:
But they killed me.

Tempus:
That was Wednesday night. This is Wednesday morning - all over again. This is why I have been sent to you, to keep resetting time until you learn from your failures. Only you will carry with you the memory of what has happened before. And each time you fail, you will learn more until ultimately you will kill all of them.

Inspector Rodriguez:
Bottom line. I know my partner was killed by a supernatural being. And I think Prue Halliwell can help me figure out who did it.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Really? Well, I'll just get the commissioner to signal Batman, and then I'll get right on it.

Inspector Rodriguez:
You think I'm joking? I know everything, Trudeau. Everything including the fact that Prue Halliwell is a witch. Now you're gonna arrange a meeting with her tonight, you understand? Or else I'm gonna bust your ass and expose hers.

Tempus:
Failed again, I see.

Inspector Rodriguez:
Yeah, but I learned. This time I got two of them. Third time is the charm.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[on phone] Don't tell me. I already know. You spilled marinara sauce on your dress, right? Am I right? Think, Piper, think. Doesn't all of this seem awfully familiar to you?

Prue Halliwell:
Morning.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Freeze. No, not you, Piper. Kit knocks over pepper. Meows.d that thought. Piper you need to get home as soon as you can. We've got major demon hunting to do. Oh, and if you run into someone named Joanne from high school, just tell her to go stick it. I will explain later. Just hurry.

Piper Halliwell:
I've decided to quit my job.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What?

Prue Halliwell:
And actually, I owe it all to Joanne. She made me realize that somehow I'd forgotten what my dreams were, still are. I always wanted to be a chef and have my own restaurant, not manage one. It's a good job and the pay's okay, but it's not my dream job.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I think that's great. I really do. And don't worry. If you need any help trolling the classifieds, I am an expert.

Prue Halliwell:
I was just thinking about all that we've been through since we became witches.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Give you a headache?

Prue Halliwell:
No. Actually, it gave me a good feeling. I mean, look, it's a hassle. It can sometimes screw up our personal lives.

Piper Halliwell:
Amen to that.

Prue Halliwell:
And we do good things together. Helps offset the bad things.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm going to really miss Andy.

Piper Halliwell:
It's going to be very sad without him.

Prue Halliwell:
Something tells me that he'll always be with us.

Phoebe:
Prue, I'm not nuts. OK maybe a little, but that's irrelevant here.

Phoebe:
Prue, I'm not nuts. OK maybe a little, but thats irrelevant here.

Coop:
You always say that, and that is exactly why I'm here. You always think that you never have time for love. You know, that's why the Elders sent me. They feel guilty, you know, about how everything got all messed up after they enlisted you. So they sent me down to help you get things back on track.

Phoebe:
[Phoebe and Cole are practicing defense moves] If you wanted to be on top, all you had to do was ask?

Paige:
[Paige is on the stairs laughing]

Phoebe:
P-Paige... what are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be upstairs studying for Piper's quiz?

Paige:
Well, I was kind of hoping to go a couple rounds with the demon first.

Piper:
Listen to me very carefully, there is nothing more important than learning your craft right now. We could be attacked at any moment.

Paige:
Then why am I stuck here reading? I should be learning how to body slam sweaty demons, like Phoebe.

Paige:
[Paige comes home- thought it is Phoebe in her body] Oh Cole... You scared me.

Cole:
Sorry. Didn't mean to; with the rain outside and everyone on Yenlo alert.

Paige:
Yeah, Yenlo. That's why I rushed home.

Cole:
You're chilled. Here put this on. [he goes to give her his jacket] .

Paige:
Oh, you keep it.

Cole:
I'm sorry. Am I making you feel uncomfortable?

Paige:
No of course not, I was just wondering what Phoebe would feel about this.

Cole:
Phoebe?

Paige:
Uh, yeah, your girlfriend, Phoebe, remember?

Cole:
Yeah, you see the problem with Phoebe is she's so obsessed with training. She's not interested in [pause] romance anymore.

Paige:
That's not true, uh, I mean, she...

Cole:
You on the other hand, strike me as being full of passion, desire. I miss that.

Paige:
I gotta go. [she moves to get away. Cole kisses her passionately, and Paige in Phoebe's body comes downstairs]

Phoebe:
Hey! [Paige grabs Cole by the hand and flips him onto his back]

Paige:
How could you do this to me?

Cole:
Oh, come one [laughing, then to Paige] I'm just trying to have a little fun Phoebe. Isn't that what you were complaining about me not doing?

Paige:
Yeah, but I never meant for [pause] did you just call me Phoebe?

Cole:
Would you rather I kissed her? [looks at Phoebe]

Paige:
No.

Phoebe:
No? How do you know?

Cole:
Well, for one thing [talking to Phoebe] you suck at levitating and for another you set me straight about the way I've been treating the real Phoebe, as only a sister could.

Paige:
You did?

Phoebe:
Someone had to.

Cole:
Okay. I'm gonna go. Let you guys work this out. When you're yourself again, Give me a call. [he grabs Paige's butt] We'll have some fun.

Paige:
[in Phoebe's body] How did I get down here?

Cole:
Never drop your guard.

Paige:
[in Phoebe's body] What did you just call me?

Cole:
Well, you really took a shot if you can't remember you're name.

Paige:
[in Phoebe's body] Oh, no. I am so screwed and so frosted.

Paige:
[in Phoebe's body] Hi, I'm Paige. I mean, Paige's older sister Phoebe. This is Paige.

Phoebe:
[in Paige's body] What's going on?

Paige:
[in Phoebe's body] Don't worry, Phoebe. It's me, Paige. We switched bodies.

Phoebe:
[in Paige's body] What did you do?

Paige:
[in Phoebe's body] Why do automatically assume it was something that I did?

Phoebe:
[in Paige's body] Paige!

Paige:
[in Phoebe's body] All right, all right. I did it, but it was an accident. I swear. I just wanted to know what it was like to be you and somehow the potion I was working on just sort of blew up.

Phoebe:
[in Paige's body] You wanted to be me? Are you crazy? Okay. Okay. We gotta fix this. What ingredients did you use?

Paige:
[in Phoebe's body] I'm not sure. Just please don't tell Piper. She already thinks I'm a screw-up as it is.

Phoebe:
[in Paige's body] Hello! Paige, we are in each other's bodies. I think Piper is the least of our problems. Okay, fine. I won't tell her. Now wipe that look off my face.

Paige:
[in Phoebe's body] Thanks. God, this top is tight.

Phoebe:
[in Paige's body] Yeah, but it sure looks great.

Cole:
So, ready to get back at it?

Phoebe:
[in Paige's body] Yeah, just a minute sweetie.

Cole:
Not you. Phoebe.

Paige:
[in Phoebe's body] Uh, sure, sugar. Whatever you say. Lets go work up a sweat.

Phoebe:
[in Paige's body] Uh, just a minute. Actually, Phoebe has to stay with me. She has to help me with the potion. It blew up in my face.

Leo Wyatt:
Prue!

Prue Halliwell:
Leo! Nice orbs!

Piper Halliwell:
Bye. Bye.

Prue Halliwell:
[walks into door] Ow.

Piper Halliwell:
Let me help you. Let me help you. Alright, go on, sicko.

Charlene:
You were right about me. I went home, I saw the folks crying, then I knew it was true. I've never seen my dad cry before. Not over me anyway. Then I got pissed. The demon did this to me. I wanna prove he doesn't exist any more.

Piper Halliwell:
Okay, bye, bye.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, oh, alright, so, uh, I'm gonna go now and I'll be downstairs and work all night long and I'll be really quiet and you won't have to worry about me.

Piper Halliwell:
Okay.

Prue Halliwell:
So, no sex without safe sex.

Piper Halliwell:
Thanks.

Piper:
Leo!

Prue:
Uh, he's our whitelighter

Phoebe:
And our brother-in-law

Piper:
I don't know what is up with me. Every time I freeze, I flame!

Prue:
Uh. Leo!

Phoebe:
I'm fine really it's no big deal

Piper:
Phoebe it is a huge deal! Cole tried to kill you!

Prue:
He's the demon

Piper:
And her boyfriend

Phoebe:
We have very complicated lives

Prue, Phoebe, Leo Wyatt:
*hears an explosion from the kitchen, and they all look in that direction, then go into the kitchen*

Piper:
*is covered in watermelon, worried* Ehh... heh neh neh...

Prue:
*looking up at the ceiling* OK, was it a demon?

Piper:
No. It was watermelon!

Phoebe:
*puts towel over her head* Honey... why did you vanquish watermelon?

Piper:
*squeaky voice to start* I didn't vanquish watermelon! I threw it up in the air, and I tried to freeze it, and it exploded! *gestures with her hands, and blows up windows and gasps... turns around panicky, waving hands, and blows up china* Oh!

Leo Wyatt:
*after dodging glass*... this is the little problem I was telling you about...

Phoebe:
Oh... *removing towel from her head* OK Piper, slowly put your hands down, and no one will get hurt.

Avatar Alpha:
The spell will put everyone to sleep. But only for a few hours. Just long enough to erase the mindset of duality. Of good and evil.

Leo Wyatt:
Alright, let's split up. We'll find more demons that way. Piper-Paige, Phoebe and me. Any sign of trouble, orb back to the manor, got it?

Paige Matthews:
Got it.

Piper Halliwell:
Why do you think he didn't want to go with me? Do you think he's seeing someone else?

Paige Matthews:
Come on.

Piper Halliwell:
What?

Zankou:
Working with evil to preserve good... It would give me a headache.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yep. Look, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but why are you here... with me now?

Clay:
Why? Can't a guy visit?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, but you're not just a guy. You're Clay, and Clay comes with strings attached.

Clay:
I never could hide anything from you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Actually you could. That was one of our problems. Remember?

Clay:
I picked up this urn at a overseas market. Thought it might be worth something.

Phoebe Halliwell:
So you want me to get Prue to help you. Because of the Auction House.

Clay:
Guilty.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Whew. For a minute there, I thought you were here to win me back.

Claire Pryce:
Oh, hi. You must be Prue.

Claire Pryce:
Claire. Claire Pryce. The bank assigned me to see if the business is worth salvaging. I'm looking for inventory records. The files in my predecessor's office were empty.

Prue Halliwell:
Yes, well, Rex and Hannah weren't exactly qualified.

Claire Pryce:
Mm-hmm. Obviously why Buckland's is in such dire straits. To be honest with you, Prue, I don't know anything about auction houses, and I know even less about art. But what I do know is the bottom line. And if we don't move $1.2 million worth of inventory at the auction tomorrow, I'm shutting the place down.

Prue Halliwell:
Excuse me. Did you say tomorrow?

Claire Pryce:
Did I stutter?

Prue Halliwell:
Phoebe, I cannot risk this Auction House's reputation on something like this without checking on it first.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Come on, come on, I will, uh... what will I do? I will cook you dinner.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, don't threaten me. Fine. I'll see what I can do.

Piper Halliwell:
Sorry, Doug, too pooped to pop. [let's vase fall instead of freezing it]

Palmer Kellogg:
No! Don't you understand? You have to sell it before the curse...

Prue Halliwell:
Curse? What curse?

Palmer Kellogg:
The urn, it's cursed. Nevermind. Forget it, I'll get rid of it myself.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We can't live together forever. What do we expect, to be sixty years old and still be sharing clothes and a cat?

Piper Halliwell:
Well, now that you put it that way, no. I don't want to live with you anymore.

[repeated line]

Guardian of the Urn:
You're being punished for your greed.

Prue Halliwell:
Where's Phoebe?

Piper Halliwell:
Upstairs. But you might want to... [pause]... knock.

Prue Halliwell:
Phoebe, we need to talk...

Phoebe Halliwell:
[naked in bed] Yes, we do!

Prue Halliwell:
Ohhh! [leaves]

Phoebe Halliwell:
I hope you liked the show.

Prue Halliwell:
Phoebe, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What, that it was my room that you barged into? I had more privacy when I lived in New York, a tiny island crawling with eight million people.

Prue Halliwell:
And at least one thief.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm sorry. Excuse me?

Prue Halliwell:
It gets worse. If the background information is accurate, there's a curse attached to the urn. Anyone who steals it ends up dead, a victim of the Guardian who protects it, and she feeds off their greed.

Phoebe Halliwell:
He totally used me, Piper. He just used me to get to Prue.

Piper Halliwell:
I'm sorry.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Thanks for not saying, I told you so." Why didn't I see it coming? What am I? A sucker for punishment?

Piper Halliwell:
No. You see the good in people, and that's never wrong. Besides, the wrong guys are usually the most interesting.

Piper Halliwell:
Uh, Doug, what about Shelley?

Doug:
Who cares about Shelley when I've got Thursday, Friday, and Saturday all lined up and waiting. [to Phoebe] I don't believe I've had the pleasure.

Piper Halliwell:
I don't believe you will. Off limits.

Patty Halliwell:
Did we miss anything?

Piper Halliwell:
No, well, we changed the past and fixed the future and saved the present. That's all.

Elderly Leo:
How do you spell Zankou? With a "Z" or an "X"?

Elderly Piper:
That's cheating!

Elderly Leo:
I'm not asking you, I'm asking me! Well...?

Leo Wyatt:
A "Z".

Elderly Leo:
Ha! Told ya!

Phoebe Halliwell:
So much has happened over the last 8 years. So much has been gained and lost. Still, in some ways I feel like my life is really just beginning... and it was. For though I had loved before, I'd never really known love until I met Coop. A man who I shared the special little girl I had long ago forseen, but feared I might never have. Along with two other special little girls I had not forseen. I was suddenly so blessed to have a new family of my own, and old friends to share it with. And though I kept working and giving advice to those who asked, I was more interested in helping them find love. Since finally, having been loved.

Paige Matthews:
Phoebe, had become somewhat of an expert on the subject. As for me, life without demons opened up similar avenues. Henry of course continued to look after his parolees, even if they didn't want to be looked after. While still making time to help me with little Henry and the twins. Which allowed me time to finally embrace my inner whitelighter. And to help the next generation of witches come into their own.

Piper Halliwell:
So that Paige could pass on all the she learned. Not just to her own children, or to mine, or to Phoebe's, but to other future witches and white lighters as well. Which filled the time between when we were doing the fighting and when our kids were old enough to take over. Allowing me time to get back to my roots and cook something other then potions for once. And open the restaurant I'd always dreamed of owning. As for Leo, after we reclaimed magic school he went back to teaching. Which he continued to do, until it was time to retire. Older Piper

[finishes reading the Book of Shadows to her granddaughter]

Elderly Piper:
And although we certainly had our struggles and heart aches over the years we're a family of survivors and we will always be. Which is why we've truly been Charmed.

Granddaughter:
Again, Grandmama, again.

Elderly Piper:
Oh, dear. No, I can't. I need to rest. But you can look at it for a little while if you'd like. After all, it'll be yours one day.

[as older Piper and Leo walk up the stairs, the camera zooms in pictures spanning four generations of the Halliwell family, including a picture of Victor and Patty]

Elderly Piper:
.

Paige Matthews:
Hey! What are you doing here?

Henry Mitchell:
What am I doing here? I'm looking for my wife. She didn't come home last night. Are you okay?

Paige Matthews:
Yes, I'm okay. Of course I'm okay. I mean, we weren't okay okay. But now we're okay. And I think in the future we're gonna be... I think we're going to be more than okay!

Henry Mitchell:
Okay...

Paige Matthews:
referring to Patty being dead: Does she know?

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
Yes, yes. We know. We're both dead by now. We're over it.

Patty Halliwell:
Speak for yourself.

[Coop appears in the middle of the room and Wyatt recognizes him]

Wyatt Halliwell:
Uncle Coop.

[Chris hits Wyatt]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Uncle Coop? What?

[Everyone looks around confused]

Piper Halliwell:
All right, everybody out. Go.

Patty Halliwell:
[to Piper] You loved your Grams.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
[realizing someone's in the house] Who's there?

Piper Halliwell:
[to Patty] Oh! No. Mom...

Patty Halliwell:
It's just me, Mom.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
Patty?

Patty Halliwell:
Mmm-hmmm. [Grams faints] MOM? [rushes to her] What happened? [to Piper] Why'd she faint?

Piper Halliwell:
Well, probably because you're... dead.

Leo Wyatt:
I was just thinking about after you guys say the spell to get rid of The Hollow.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, hopefully it'll work.

Leo Wyatt:
Yeah, it it does it means everyone's gonna come back to life. Including Billie and Christy.

Piper Halliwell:
Not for long. Not if I have my way.

Leo Wyatt:
Until you do, it means the ultimate battle wouldn't have been fought yet. Which means the Angel of Destiny might take me away again until it is.

Piper Halliwell:
Listen. All I know is that we will be playing Scrabble in the future. And I'm pretty sure you won't be losing.

[about Paige's husband Henry]

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
Don't tell me she marries a whitelighter too.

Piper Halliwell:
Worse. A mortal.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
Oh, good God. Didn't I teach you girls anything?

Piper Halliwell:
Hey, what can I say? There's always Uncle Coop.

Chris Halliwell:
The Elders sent Coop down to you, Phoebe. Not just to help you find love, but to help you find him.

Wyatt Halliwell:
They hoped you'd fall in love with a cupid. It was their only way to make up for everything you've sacrificed.

Chris Halliwell:
And they weren't gonna put you through what Mom and Dad went through, so...

Wyatt Halliwell:
It wasn't and will not be a forbidden love.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay. I don't know how that information helps us right now.

Wyatt Halliwell:
Well, in the future, when you're together, you guys are like one.

Chris Halliwell:
All you have to do is think about him and he's there.

Dumain:
My lords, we come from the future to warn you about it. The Charmed Ones will get The Hollow at the same time Billie and Christy will.

Christy Jenkins:
Which means we've gotta get to it before they do this time.

[Billie and The Charmed Ones appear]

Dumain:
Get of here!

[they vanquish The Triad]

Dumain:
No!

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, yes.

[Piper vanquishes both Dumains]

Christy Jenkins:
I don't understand. How could this happen?

Paige Matthews:
Billie projected us here. By focusing on you.

Piper Halliwell:
Paige.

Paige Matthews:
Ring!

[Paige orbs the ring away from Christy]

Christy Jenkins:
[to Billie] How could you?

Billie Jenkins:
Christy, please. It's over. Just come home.

Paige Matthews:
[Paige, Piper, Phoebe, and Grams orb in] Right, now all we have to do is find Billie and Christy.

Billie Jenkins:
[Billie walks in] You don't have to look far.

[pause]

Billie Jenkins:
Can we talk?

[another pause]

Billie Jenkins:
Look, I am so sorry for what I've done to you guys, after everything you've done for me. I just wanted my sister back so badly, I couldn't even see that she was manipulating me.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, that's very convenient, but how are we suppossed to know this isn't a trap?

[Billie shakes her head]

Paige Matthews:
Guess we have to let her talk.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Where's Christy?

Billie Jenkins:
I don't know. Probably at Magic School trying to figure out a way to kill you.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
But you're not.

Billie Jenkins:
No. No. That was before. They twisted everything to make us think we were doing the right thing.

Piper Halliwell:
Who?

Billie Jenkins:
The Triad. They used us. They used Christy. Thay have spent the last fifteen years turning her into a killer. That's all they've care about. That's all they've wanted.

Piper Halliwell:
Anyway the point is: if I'm going to get my husband back, we have a battle to finish.

Phoebe Halliwell:
And we're going to have to get mom back safely, otherwise Paige and I won't be born.

Patty Halliwell:
Good point.

Paige Matthews:
Well fantastic. Are there any other problems we should be worrying about?

Phoebe Halliwell:
[Wyatt and Chris appear] Wyatt?

Piper Halliwell:
Chris? What are you two doing here?

Chris Halliwell:
Somebody just screwed up our future!

Piper Halliwell:
You can't. Not if you're truly neutral, that is. 'Cause, you see, if you get rid of us, you tip the balance of power from good to evil. Now, that's hardly being neutral, now, is it? You will give me my son back, or I swear to you, the only thing you will be doing for the next fifty years is cleaning up after us.

Leo Wyatt:
Chris, what are you doing sitting around here? Aren't you supposed to be getting to know your new charge?

[Natalie, wearing only Chris's shirt, stands at the doorway.]

Natalie:
Oh, hi, Leo.

Chris Halliwell:
[to Leo] Okay, look, before you get mad, you were the one who wanted me to have a charge in the first place, remember?

Leo Wyatt:
Yeah, to protect her!

Natalie:
Oh, he *was* using protection.

Paige Matthews:
Wait a second, so you're saying Wyatt conjured a dragon?

Piper Halliwell:
Yep, right out of the TV.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, you must be so proud.

Piper Halliwell:
Yeah -or a little irritated.

Piper Halliwell:
[standing in front of the Golden Gate Bridge] "Let the object of objection become but a dream/ As I cause the seen to become unseen." [The Golden Gate bridge vanishes.] You might wanna take an alternate route to work in the morning.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Great! I'll meet you downstairs. I'm going to go slip into something a little bit more sexy.

Piper Halliwell:
Sexy? Phoebe, we're killing a demon, not going to the club.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Did I say sexy? I meant... comfortable.

Piper Halliwell:
Wait!

Phoebe Halliwell:
God. Now what.

Piper Halliwell:
Maybe we shouldn't go after this guy until we have the power of three.

Paige Matthews:
Mitchell Haines?

Mitchell Haines:
Yeah?

Paige Matthews:
Hi, I'm your new Whitelighter, Paige Matthews. Nice to meet you.

Mitchell Haines:
[after a moment of consideration] Not interested.

Paige Matthews:
Well, you can't just walk away from me.

Mitchell Haines:
No? Watch me.

Prue Halliwell:
If he can kill thirteen unmarried witches before midnight, he'll be freed from the underworld to wreak his terror every single day.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Unmarried? Like being single didn't have enough problems.

Piper Halliwell:
You can never be too rich or too safe.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You know, that's why I like shopping with Piper!

Prue Halliwell:
Does a positive superstition cancel out a negative one?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, look. A lady bug.

Prue Halliwell:
Is that bad luck?

[Piper gives Prue a sarcastic look]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Actually, Grams once said that whatever direction it flies it, it's supposed to find your ideal mate. We got to try it.

[Phoebe flicks at the ladybug. It lands on a guy's shoulder]

Piper Halliwell:
[embarassed] Oh.

Piper Halliwell:
So, does a positive superstition cancel out a negative one?

Piper Halliwell:
I don't know.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What's going on?

Prue Halliwell:
That guy has been talking to Piper all day and she's been avoiding him because she...

[a bunch of food drops in Prue's lap]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, no.

Piper Halliwell:
You should've thrown the...

Prue Halliwell:
You know what, Piper, don't say it. I'm going to have to go home and change.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Be careful. I love you.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah.

[after Piper has a lot of mishaps]

Piper Halliwell:
Today's just not my day!

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Prue Halliwell:
First of all, no one should ever be in those shoes

Demon of Fear:
[to Phoebe] You humans need to look deeper your deepest fear isn't getting trapped in an elavator it's losing a sister.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I love you.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, me too.

Piper Halliwell:
I wonder if she knows she does that. [What she meant it's that Prue never says I love you]

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, you just said 'me too' and you never say it to Piper either. Have you ever said 'I love you' to anybody?

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, I said it to mom and it was the last thing I said to her before she died.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Let go or I'll scream.

Demon of Fear:
I could use the fix.

Patty Halliwell:
Prue, Prue. You must face your fears, Prue. You must trust in the greatest of all powers. Love.

Prue Halliwell:
Mom?

Patty Halliwell:
Save yourself. Save your sister. [Patty grabs Prue's hand and saves her] Don't be afraid.

Prue Halliwell:
It's over.

Demon of Fear:
Your fear.

Prue Halliwell:
I'm not afraid anymore.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh my God, I was so scared.

Prue Halliwell:
I know. I'm just glad you're safe.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I don't know what would happen if I ever lost you. I love you.

Prue Halliwell:
I love you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, he pushed her into a pool and then...

Prue Halliwell:
And mom helped me out.

Piper Halliwell:
Mom?

Prue Halliwell:
Okay, I know it sounds crazy but I saw her. It was just like my dream. She was this incredible vision, so peaceful and she took my hand and brought me to the surface.

Piper Halliwell:
That doesn't sound crazy. I wish I could've seen her.

Tanjella:
Sorry, we're closed. I said, we're closed.

Demon of Fear:
Not to me, witch.

Tanjella:
Oh my God!

Demon of Fear:
Amulet's don't work with this demon. Your greatest fear is being buried alive in an earthquake. Yes. You can't run, you're frozen in fear!

Prue Halliwell:
I love you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I think that's the first time you've said that to me.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, I know, I wish I had of said it a long time ago. Ever since mum died I've been afraid to say it. I didn't want to lose anybody else.

Prue Halliwell:
[while Prue is holding the Book Of Shadows words magically appear on a page saying: 'Thanks for letting them into your heart.'] I miss you, mom.

Prue Halliwell:
Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th. The Demon of Fear appears once every thirteen hundred years on Friday the 13th. He feeds on the fears of witches for his survival. Mum's handwriting.

Lucas Devane:
Piper, I'm sure you're very nice but someone who let's things like superstitions or omens to determine their lives, well, I just had an experience like that with my last girlfriend and it was a disaster. I'm looking for someone who's just not into that stuff. I'm sorry.

Barbas:
[Sees Prue come to the surface of the pool] What? How'd you...?

Prue:
I'm not scared anymore. [Uses her power of telekinesis on him throwing him back a good few feet]

Barbas:
[Stands up and the clock strikes midnight] NOOOOOO! [Disappears into wherever he came from]

Phoebe:
[Bindings magically disappear and she stands up looking at her eldest sister] I was so scared. I thought I lost you forever.

Prue:
You're not gonna lose me. It's over. Something happened when I was at the bottom and Mom appeared. She took my hand and brought me to the surface.

Phoebe:
Whatever happened, it saved your life and mine. What do you think happened to him?

Prue:
I think he went back to wherever he came from in the first place. At least we won't have to deal with him ever again. He's back in the bottle for 200 years.

Phoebe:
[Hugs her] I'm just glad you're alright.

Prue:
[Hugs her baby sister back] I love you.

Phoebe:
[Pulls away to look at her surprised] That's the first time you ever said that to me.

Prue:
I know. And I wish I would've said it sooner. I was just afraid that after Mom died, that if I got close to you and Piper, I'd lose you too.

Coop:
Can't run from love Phoebe, you know that

Phoebe:
Oh, does it look like I'm running? Because I'm not running, I'm walking.

Piper:
You said it was a trap.

Phoebe:
[checking out Bane] A tall, dark and naked trap.

Piper:
I never needed a sign to tell me where my heart lies.

Piper:
Oh... my... God!

Prue Halliwell:
Uh... What are you guys doing here?

Phoebe:
We're rescuing you from the tall, dark, and naked man.

Prue Halliwell:
I told you to stay away.

Phoebe:
Yeah, now I know why. He is yummy.

Piper:
I don't believe this! We've been frantic, worried sick about you thinking you've been kidnapped.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, I was.

Piper:
Panties.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, oh! Huh, thanks. Look, you guys have really got this all uh... wrong.

Bane Jessup:
I thought you'd left.

Prue Halliwell:
I couldn't find some of my clothes.

Piper Halliwell:
I'm saying that I they they did to the laeprachasuns what the Triad did to them.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Turned them against us?

Piper Halliwell:
Twist everything around and make us look like the bad guys.

Paige Matthews:
That's crazy. They would never believe that.

Piper Halliwell:
Sure they would. Think about our track record with them lately.

Phoebe Halliwell:
But what purpose would that serve? I mean, why bother?

Piper Halliwell:
I don't know. To isolate us, make sure that we have a little less back-up in our time of need.

Piper Halliwell:
What, you think Cole's gonna try and kill us? That would not be the best way to win you back.

Paige Matthews:
Yeah, but it wouldn't be the first time he tried.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I don't know what you're up to but whatever it is, it is not gonna work.

Cole Turner:
Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?

Phoebe Halliwell:
With my demon ex-husband from hell? No, Cole, I don't.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Did you cast a spell to ward off demonic parasites? Sweetheart, what did you do?

Leo Wyatt:
We built a nursery in our bedroom closet.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Closet? Well, no wonder this baby called me!

Paige Matthews:
You expect me to believe that there are giant beanstalks and gingerbread houses that actually existed?

Phoebe Halliwell:
[Phoebe and Paige walk across the street without stopping. People in cars slam on their breaks on honk their horns] *Hey* I'm walking here!

Car Driver:
Get out of the street!

Paige Matthews:
Don't you have any way of controlling those things? [refering to the Cinderella slippers]

Phoebe Halliwell:
They didn't exactly come with an intruction manual, Paige.

Leo Wyatt:
You used to think the Evil Enchantress was just a fairy tale.

Paige Matthews:
That was different. This is...

Piper Halliwell:
A fast life. Yours.

Piper Halliwell:
I read fairy tales to my baby just like you read to me.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Oh, darling. Well, I'm glad to see you're finally doing something.

[after Paige is rescued]

Paige Matthews:
Could someone please tell me how I ended up in a coffin?

Cole Turner:
Let go of my pumpkin.

Cole Turner:
This is your sister and I swear I had nothing to do with it.

Paige Matthews:
Uh... No offense, but aren't you supposed to be dead?

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Oh, I'm over that...

Piper Halliwell:
But you're still going to have to back up the Cupid claim.

Cupid:
OK, fine. Dan, Jack, Clay, Andy. My senceriest kondolenses. Eric in London, Alan in college. Not Jremy the warlock, Joe in college, Barry in high school, Tim in eight grade. Ken, Kyle, Steve, Mike, Ken again, Brian, Joel, Mark, Peter, Paul.

Piper Halliwell:
Whoo!

Cupid:
Tony.

Phoebe Halliwell:
OK, you knew I didn't love all those guys, right?

Cupid:
Well, they wanted to love you but eventually closed heart and sent them away.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I slept through it.

Jack Sheridan:
You slept through Dirty Dozen?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, Love Story. The last thing I remember is the hockey game.

Piper Halliwell:
That was the very beginning.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, let me guess: boy meets girl, Grim Reaper swipes girl, and boy's left with his hockey skates?

Jack Sheridan:
That's the review.

Dan Gordon:
Anybody want a coffee?

Prue Halliwell:
So we're actually supposed to believe that you're Cupid?

Cupid:
You believe in warlocks and demons, but you can't believe in me?

Piper Halliwell:
Where's the chubby baby?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Guys.

Prue Halliwell:
And the bow and arrow?

Cupid:
Where's the warty chins, hooked noses and pointy hats?

Kevin:
Hey, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry that I cancelled on you the other day.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Love means never having to say you're sorry.

Kevin:
What?

Phoebe Halliwell:
It's nothing. We saw "Love Story" here the other night and... never mind.

Kevin:
I love that movie.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Really?

Kevin:
Yeah.

Phoebe:
Well, because she's our sister.

Piper:
Not for long. [Piper and Phoebe run out of the attic]

Cole:
[Cole grabs a chair and sits down]

Phoebe:
[Phoebe runs back into the room] Are you coming?

Cole:
To vanquish your sister? [laughs] I think I'll sit this one out.

Phoebe:
Cole is not your problem, Piper, and you know it. [They fight]

Paige:
Book! [the Book of Shadows orbs to her] Please let there be something in here. [Cole conjures an energy ball]

Phoebe:
Cole don't! You think I abandoned you. You think it's my fault that Prue died. You blame me, you should just admit it. [Piper hits her]

Paige:
You don't wanna kill me, Piper, you don't even know me! It's not about me, it's not about Phoebe is it?

Phoebe:
Leo! [Leo orbs in. Piper swipes at Paige. Paige orbs behind Piper]

Paige:
Phoebe's not the sister who abandoned you, it's Prue isn't it? [Piper grabs Paige around the throat]

Phoebe:
Leo do something! [Leo orbs Paige and Piper out]

Cole:
Where did he take them?

Phoebe:
To what Piper's really angry at. [Cut to scene of Piper, Paige and Leo orbing into Mausoleum. Piper backs away, the camera pans to show the three of them are standing in front of Prue's urn chamber]

Paige:
Tell her Piper! It's alright to hate her! [Piper shakes her head and turns to the door] You should hate her! [Piper grabs the door which is locked and shakes it] When my parents died I hated them for it! I was alone and I hated them! It is okay to hate Prue! [Piper turns around and walks up to Paige]

Piper:
How dare you! [Piper turns and runs to Prue's urn chamber and hits it] How dare you leave me! How could you go and die and leave me here alone! Please come back! I need you! Please come back! Aah! [Piper falls to the floor crying, Leo walks to her]

Leo Wyatt:
It's okay, it's okay honey.

Piper:
It's not okay. I mean she risked her life everyday and she never thought about what would happen to me and Phoebe if she was gone!

Leo Wyatt:
I know.

Piper:
How could she think that I could live without her?

Paige Matthews:
It's okay to hate Prue Piper. When my parents died I hated them. Piper its okay to be mad at Prue. She left you all alone.

Leo Wyatt:
[to Piper after she uses her power on him] Okay! Now we REALLY have to talk! You... do... NOT... use... your powers... on a MORTAL!

Cole:
[entering from the side] Back... away... from... her... slowly, Leo.

Leo Wyatt:
[just noticing Cole] What?

Cole:
She's becoming fury, no reasoning with her now.

Paige:
My b*obs are in the way. Can you put it into third for me?

Phoebe:
Dirtbag. Okay. "Guided spirits, hear our plea, annul this magic, let it be."

Paige:
Please let it be. [Paige's breasts return to normal size. She looks down and groans] Do you think it worked a little too well?

Phoebe:
I just hope he finds her fast because if this is anything like the time I turned into a Banshee, she's gonna be hungry for a kill.

Paige:
I'm sorry. A Banshee?

Phoebe:
Yeah. Demonic screamer, kinda trampy, feeds on pain.

Paige:
I think I need to sit down. [sits in front of Donnie]

Donnie:
[stares at Paige's large chest] Whoa!

Leo Wyatt:
[Paige socks him in the face knocking him out] Paige!

Paige:
What? You only said I couldn't use magic to punish him.

Piper:
You are so... busted?

Phoebe:
Hello!

Paige Matthews:
You stole our sacred book so you could perform magical plastic surgery on yourself?

Paige Matthews:
You think I did this on purpose? My body was perfectly fine just as it was. Thank you.

Phoebe:
Piper, you could have just blown up a dozen innocent people.

Piper:
I took a chance.

Phoebe:
See? Are you listening to yourself?

Piper:
What happened?

Paige Matthews:
I don't know. They just grew.

Piper:
Oh, right. And you had nothing to do with that.

Phoebe:
Did you cast any spells?

Paige Matthews:
One.

[Phoebe gives her a nod]

Paige Matthews:
Five.

Piper:
Five?

Phoebe:
Okay, what did you do just before you turned into Betty Boop?

Paige Matthews:
Well. I cast a spell on this slimeball I work with so I could give him a taste of his own medicine.

Phoebe:
That the slimeball?

Piper:
And that's the backfire.

Paige Matthews:
Backfire?

Phoebe:
You misused magic to make him the object of ogling, and the spell backfired and did the same thing to you.

Piper:
Which you would have learned if you had bothered to ask. But now instead of vanquishing demons, we're gonna have to spend the afternoon fixing your mess.

Phoebe:
Okay, Piper, call Leo and get him to orb this slimeball back home. And we have to protect him until we can figure out a way to reverse the spell. Paige and I will grab the book and meet you there.

[Paige looks down at herself and pouts]

Phoebe:
Uh, Piper? Promise me you're not going to overreact.

Piper:
Is that even possible?

Piper:
Evil got the Book of Shadows! How did evil get the Book of Shadows?

Phoebe:
Oh, no!

Piper:
'Oh, no!' Pheobe? A demon has the Book of Shadows! 'Oh, no!' doesn't quite cover it!

Phoebe:
Why don't you go see who's at the door for us, okay?

Cole:
Sure. If it's The Source, I'll just ask him to come back later.

Paige:
This is all my fault. I shouldn't have stolen the Book of Shadows.

Leo Wyatt:
You STOLE the Book of Shadows?

Phoebe:
Leo, Leo. Concentrate, please.

Phoebe:
Two witches and a half a demon does not the Power of Three make.

Witch Doctor:
Whoever these witches are, they're magnets for evil. It's drawn to their powers.

Head Witch Doctor:
Can they withstand it?

Witch Doctor:
Doubtful. They're easily distracted by the pettiness of their lives. Sooner or later, evil will overtake them, and along with it, their powers.

Head Witch Doctor:
Then we must eliminate them.

Leo Wyatt:
Piper, when you made the house disappear, you also made Phoebe disappear.

Paige Matthews:
I just don't understand what Glenn is doing with such a blonde bimbette.

Jessica:
What?

Paige Matthews:
And really, who's the surgeon who does those b*obs, because they are fantastic. I should get the number for a friend of mine.

Piper Halliwell:
Dirty... Dirty... Dirty. [Throwing plates into the trash]

Leo Wyatt:
Piper, what is the matter with you?

Piper Halliwell:
What is the matter with me? I don't know. Are those water spots? [Blows up window] Much better.

Leo Wyatt:
Ok. All right. You keep cleaning and I'll be back with help.

Paige Matthews:
Careful now. You wouldn't want to fall.

Jessica:
[standing on cliff] What happened? Where am I?

Paige Matthews:
You pissed off a witch, that's what happened.

Paige Matthews:
I convinced Glen to move up the ceremony before that crazy ex of his gets in the way again. Clever, huh? Hmm. [turns into Jessica] Nose job. Should have guessed.

Spencer Ricks:
That's right. "Feeble" Halliwell, as I live and breathe. Your billboards don't do you justice. You have a nice rack. You ought to show it off a little bit more.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You know, I don't mind losing readers to a legitimate writer, but some misogynistic pig that's a fraud.

Spencer Ricks:
Ow! Ow! That hurts! I'm not a fraud. I mean what I write.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, do you?

Spencer Ricks:
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, baby. Oh, wait. That's a woman's place, isn't it? So, then, you wouldn't have anywhere to go, would you?

Phoebe Halliwell:
You know what? You're a turkey and turkeys don't write columns! [turns man into turkey] But they do make delicious dinners.

Piper Halliwell:
What are you doing with that thing?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, first I'm gonna kill it and then I'm gonna stuff it.

Piper Halliwell:
You are not bringing that filthy fowl in the house.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yes, I am. Thanksgiving's early this year.

Piper Halliwell:
This is taking far too long.

Leo Wyatt:
They're twins and he was gonna marry the wrong one.

Witch Doctor:
Once I capture Big Mama, it'll all be over with.

Piper:
Big Mama? Who's Big Mama?

Piper Halliwell:
All right, I'm only doing this for you guys. But if I get killed, I'm gonna haunt both of you forever.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah. Yeah.

Piper:
I don't understand, how could we let her do this to us?

Prue:
Because we trusted her.

Phoebe:
Yeah, well she just got crossed off of my Christmas list.

Piper:
Aunt Gail was Gram's best friend, she used to bake us Christmas cookies,

Piper:
And now she's spiking our tea.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, Piper! It's Billie. [Billie growls menacingly] No! Don't! You might blow her up. [deformed Billie hurls a table] OK! Blow her up.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We're going to save you. We're gonna save magic while we're at it.

Billie Jenkins:
How can you save magic when you don't believe in your own anymore?

Victor Bennett:
I do know that Chris loves you.

Piper:
Yeah?

Victor Bennett:
Yeah

Piper:
Phoebe, you know better than to scream in this house if there isn't a demon.

[after Phoebe's "flashback" at the reunion]

Paige Matthews:
It seemed to happen after someone named Paula Marks called her "Freebie"?

Piper:
[realizing] Oh, yeah. That'll do it.

Chris:
If Piper and Leo don't screw, I'm screwed!

Jinny:
You think these crystals can hold me? [sticks her hand out and is zapped]

Paige:
Nope. Not for long, that's why we're putting you back in your bottle.

Jinny:
When I form my empire, the first thing I'm gonna do is rid the world of witches.

Paige:
Oh yea? Well when you're back in your bottle, the first thing I'm gonna do is put you in the microwave. Haha! How do you like that? [turns and leaves]

Paige:
[Leo and Piper are asleep on the couch and cannot be woken] What's wrong with them?

Chris:
It's a long story.

Paige:
I don't know. Why don't you give me the Cliffnotes version. [Chris sighs] Come on Chris! You and Leo and Phoebe have all been acting weird since before the demon attacked. What's goin' on?

Chris:
All right. I made a little wish.

Paige:
You did what?

Chris:
Two little wishes.

Paige:
Oh great! It's not bad enough that I have to worry about Richard, now I have to worry about you too. What did you wish for?

Chris:
For Leo to forgive me, which by the way was an accident.

Paige:
And?

Chris:
For Piper and Leo to sleep together.

Paige:
You! Oh my god. You're sick! What is wrong with you?

Chris:
No...

Paige:
You're disghusting! You're some creepy registered sex offender from the future! Oh my god you're so gross!

Chris:
I'm Piper and Leo's son!

Paige:
WHAT?

Chris:
They're my parents. I came back to save my family

Paige:
You're serious...

Chris:
Yea, only now I've got to save myself, because if my mom doesn't get pregnant in the next month, there is no me.

Paige:
[sighs] This is all so wrong, and this has been such a long day.

Phoebe:
You can't just pop in here from the future and play with people's lives because your big brother picked on you.

Chris:
He picked on the WORLD, Phoebe.

Paige:
Yeah, but don't you, um, need to go help Major Nelson?

Piper Halliwell:
[Phoebe appears as a blonde genie] You look ridiculous!

Phoebe:
I feel ridiculous.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, how am I supposed to get back to Greg now with this?

Phoebe:
Is that all you care about? Would you look at me? I am trapped in pantaloons right now. Where is the mirror? Look. And why do I always get stuck with the wig?

Chris:
I'm sorry, Phoebe, but I'm running out of time here. A guy's gotta survive. I wish for Piper and Leo to sleep together tonight.

Phoebe:
I've been calling for you all week. Didn't you hear me?

Chris:
For the first couple of days, yeah. Then I put you on "mute".

Chris:
Oracles, fortune tellers, soothsayers they all say the same thing : if Mum and Dad don't screw this month... I'm screwed.

Phoebe:
You're the one that split them up. And why did you split them up?

Chris:
Leo had to become an Elder to make room for me as your Whitelighter. It was the only way I could protect Wyatt from turning evil.

Phoebe:
You're unbelievable ! I mean, most kids who are the cause of their parents divorce actually feel guilty. And you're sitting here like it's part of your master plan !

Chris:
I'm sensing some real issues there.

Jinny:
[about the demon Bosk] You cannot handle him. Nobody can. He has a flying carpet and an army of forty thieves.

Phoebe:
Thirty-eight. I vanquished two.

Paige:
Let me guess. He wanted a crew and a nice ride?

Phoebe:
I feel so bad.

Chris:
As well you should. If we don't do something soon, I can end up half fireman instead of half Whitelighter.

[Phoebe has just set a demon free from a genie's bottle]

Paige:
What do you mean she didn't read the warning label?

[Under the influence of a spell, Leo is writing Chris a letter of apology]

Chris:
Alright, alright, enough already ! You said you're sorry, let's just not go overboard.

Leo Wyatt:
Okay, but after everything I've put you through, I feel like I owe it to you.

Chris:
Honestly, a letter's not gonna mean a hell of a lot to me. I got plenty of them growing up.

[Large diamond earrings appear on Paige's earlobes.]

Phoebe:
[to Jinny] Did you do that?

Jinny:
No, but they are lovely. Who conjured them for you?

Paige:
My boyfriend, Richard. He's been showering me with gifts all week.

Phoebe:
I thought you were gonna talk to him about binding his powers?

Paige:
I have... but every time I bring it up, I just get another present. Luxury problem, I know ! But still.

Piper Halliwell:
What is this big emergency? Can't it wait an hour or... two?

Chris:
No, it can't. There's a demon on the loose, a genie running amok, AND it took me two wishes to get here.

Phoebe:
I never hit on you, did I?

Chris:
What? No!

Phoebe:
Oh, thank God.

Piper Halliwell:
I could panic, and freeze the whole restaurant!

Prue Halliwell:
What are you doing?

Piper Halliwell:
Uh... nothing just watching a show.

Prue Halliwell:
About witches? Are you worried we're going to be burned at the stake?

Piper Halliwell:
Ha! Yeah right!

Prue Halliwell:
Brittany, are you all right?

Piper Halliwell:
I'll call 911.

Prue Halliwell:
And tell them what, that she's dying of old age at 25?

Rex Buckland:
Well, what do you think?

Hannah Webster:
[Referring to Prue] I think either she's the luckiest woman alive or... she's a witch.

Piper Halliwell:
A toast to the power of three. Whether we like it or not.

Rex Buckland:
Well. I really don't know what to say, except you're hired, if you still want the job.

Prue Halliwell:
Are you serious?

Rex Buckland:
Can you start Monday?

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, absolutely.

Rex Buckland:
Terrific. It's done then. Yeah, we can sort out the details when you come in. In the mean time, welcome aboard.

Prue Halliwell:
Thanks. Bye.

Rex Buckland:
Well, what do you think?

Hannah Webster:
I think she's either the luckiest woman alive or she's a witch.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Piper, listen to me. You are the most sweetest, most caring person I've ever met. No, I mean that, you are. You're always there to help anybody, even strangers. You've been doing it your whole life. So there's no way you've been given this, this gift if it wasn't to do good things with it. To protect the innocent just like the Book Of Shadows said. Besides, if anyone is concerned of being bad, it's me, right? You've got nothing to be afraid of.

Piper Halliwell:
I don't know, it's like our whole lives have been like everybody else. Rushing off to work, going out on bad dates, buying shoes and suddenly we wake up one day and everything is different. We're witches now. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Are you kidding? It's a great thing.

Piper Halliwell:
You don't know that. We don't know anything about these powers. Why we have them, what they mean, where they come from. I mean, how do we know it's not... how do we know it's not from evil?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Piper, we've been through this. We're good witches.

Piper Halliwell:
Bad date?

Prue Halliwell:
No. No, no. Not at all. It was great. You know, dinner, movie, sex.

Piper Halliwell:
Excuse me? On you're first date? You sleaze.

Prue Halliwell:
It wasn't exactly our first date, Piper.

Piper Halliwell:
High school doesn't count. That was last decade. Spill it. Ooh, that bad?

Prue Halliwell:
No, actually that good. It was... Well, we were naked. But that's not the point. I told myself that things would be different. That we would take it slow. It just shouldn't of happened, that's all.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What shouldn't of happened?

Piper Halliwell:
Prue slept with Andy.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Hello.

Prue Halliwell:
Thanks a lot, mouth.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Wait, you were gonna tell her but not me? Family meeting.

Elderly Man:
Should be used on grandchildren's birthdays. It's a ten million dollar jackpot. Who knows? I mean, today may be our lucky day. If not, we're gonna lose our house.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[Phoebe has a premonition] 4, 16, 19, 30, 32 and 40. Those are the winning numbers.

Clerk:
Yeah, yeah, right lady. You want this stuff or don't you?

Phoebe Halliwell:
4, 16, 19, 30, 32 and 40. Trust me, Mr. Today is your lucky day. I think I'll buy one of these lottery tickets too.

Prue Halliwell:
Piper, what are you talking about?

Piper Halliwell:
I'm telling you: I saw something about it in the Book Of Shadows. Okay, look. See? Javna feeds one week out of every year, stealing the life force from the young.

Prue Halliwell:
By evoking the black magic power - the evil eye - to sustain eternal youth.

Piper Halliwell:
It's gotta be what happened to Britney.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, but there must be some kind of incantation to reverse it.

Piper Halliwell:
There is. The hand of fatima. It says that the Prophet Mohammad centuries ago to banish Javna back to wherever the hell he came from.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, well, the problem is we don't know who Javna is, let alone where he is.

Piper Halliwell:
By the way, is it true that evil beings can't go into a church without being...

Pastor Williams:
Evil beings? You mean, like what, vampires?

Piper Halliwell:
Vampires? No. I was thinking more on the lines of witches.

Pastor Williams:
Witches, huh? Let me out it to you this way: I sure wouldn't wanna risk it.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, she kinda, sort of thinks she might be a witch.

Pastor Williams:
Witches again, huh?

Piper Halliwell:
Not a good thing, is it?

Pastor Williams:
Certainly not a question I get everyday. How well do you remember Sunday school lessons? I suggest Exodus 22:18. "Thou shall not suffer a witch to live."

Piper Halliwell:
Meaning...

Pastor Williams:
If you go by the old school, it means put her to death. She's evil.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Maybe it was an imaginary friend.

Piper Halliwell:
No. Imaginary friends are imaginary, hence, the name. Plus, you said he's too young to have an imaginary friend, remember? He's two.

Wyatt Halliwell:
Aunt Phoebe, it's me ! Wyatt ! [he hugs her]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Wh-what ? Oh !

Wyatt Halliwell:
This is so amazing !

Phoebe Halliwell:
What, did a spell backfire ?

Paige Matthews:
...How did you guess ?

Wyatt Halliwell:
[after greeting Leo, who's holding baby Chris] Hey, is this Chris? Oh, my gosh! He's so small. Hey, little brother. [to Piper] Is this before of after he swallowed the marble?

Piper Halliwell:
Marble ? What marble ?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Easy on the future information !

Wyatt Halliwell:
Of course, you're right.

Piper Halliwell:
Not, but really : what marble ?

Paige Matthews:
[about vanquishing Vicus] And of course, we've got the added problem of not even being able to see the demon. Only Wyatt can see Vicus.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We're just gonna have to bring a lot of vials.

Paige Matthews:
And what, just throw them everywhere and hope we hit something?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah. You have a better idea?

Paige Matthews:
Normally, yes.

Wyatt Halliwell:
What are you gonna do, mom? Kill me in order to protect me?

Piper Halliwell:
It's a thought.

Wyatt Halliwell:
You always said spanking was barbaric!

Leo Wyatt:
Look, I may not have any powers, but I'm not powerless. I'm his father. He's not gonna hurt me.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No? Ever read Hamlet?

Prue Halliwell:
Our powers are supposed to progress, not grow at random.

Piper Halliwell:
Don't worry, I can handle it all by myself. It's me, the culinary pachyderm!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Just because I protect the innocent doesn't mean I have to be innocent all of the time.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Earthquakes give me the jeebies.

Prue Halliwell:
Would that be the Phoebe Jeebies?

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, you know. It's the comedy stylings of Prue Halliwell.

Piper Halliwell:
The only Halliwell that actually likes earthquakes.

Prue Halliwell:
I don't like them, but I don't go running through the house naked screaming 'run for your life' either.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay. That is such an exaggeration. I was wearing slippers.

Piper Halliwell:
I believe Phoebe pronounced it Woogyman, or was that just the buckteeth?

Professor Beth Whittlesey:
I can't tell you how excited I am to be spending an evening in a house with such history.

Prue Halliwell:
I understand you know a lot about the Halliwell history?

Professor Beth Whittlesey:
Well, I'm better versed on the house's structure than its inhabitants.

Claire Pryce:
The Professor's tenured at Berkeley.

Professor Beth Whittlesey:
Architectural history. As a matter of fact I use your house as an example in one of my lectures.

Prue Halliwell:
Really? Well do you mention the leaky roof and the limited hot water?

Professor Beth Whittlesey:
Well the original house that stood on that spot was a masterpiece. But it had to be rebuilt after the earthquake of 1906 when it was completely destroyed.

Prue Halliwell:
That's right around the time my Great-Grandparents moved in.

Professor Beth Whittlesey:
Metaphysicists believe the land to be what they call a spiritual nexus.

Woogy:
Phoebe.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No.

Woogy:
Your nightmares are true. I exist.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm a good witch. You can't take me.

Woogy:
You'll fight me at first. But in the end, you'll do everything I ask.

Piper Halliwell:
I thought he was gonna kill me. I didn't even have a chance to freeze him. Where'd you get the bat?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I don't know. It just sort of appeared.

Josh:
I think she's giving the professor a...

Professor Beth Whittlesey:
Tour. She showed me the bedrooms, the solarium. I found the basement particularly intriguing.

Piper Halliwell:
Okay, okay. Sabotage, I am being sabotaged!

Phoebe Halliwell:
What seems to be the problem?

Piper Halliwell:
There is something terribly wrong with the house. Oh my God, oh my God, call a plumber. This is a complete and total disaster. Someone just kill me now and spare me the agony of clean up.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Ask and you shall receive.

Piper Halliwell:
I don't know what it is but it's like the house is possessed.

Prue Halliwell:
No, no, no. It is Phoebe and her new powers.

Piper Halliwell:
Our house was built in the centre of a pentagram.

Prue Halliwell:
Looks like it's not just on a spiritual nexus, but a wiccan one as well. Which means it's a battleground for good and evil.

Piper Halliwell:
Phoebe, what's wrong with you? Why won't you let us in?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, you can't, you shouldn't. You don't live here anymore! [deep voice] He does.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh my. She's frozen.

Piper Halliwell:
Good.

Prue Halliwell:
No, no, no. Remember our powers don't work on good witches.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, that means she's... ,

Prue Halliwell:
We've lost her. Let's go get her back. Run.

Piper Halliwell:
The gas man said that's where Phoebe was. And we know she's been down there.

Prue Halliwell:
No, Piper, it was just a story.

Piper Halliwell:
Are you so sure? We've seen monsters and demons from the past and future. How can you be so sure that Phoebe's childhood monster isn't real?

Prue Halliwell:
The Woogyman in the basement?

Piper Halliwell:
We've lost her. Let's go get her back. Run.

Prue Halliwell:
Phoebe swore she saw something down there. And that's when Grams started telling us the story...

Piper Halliwell:
Of how to destroy it.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Any fantasies about how you want to die?

Prue Halliwell:
Phoebe, listen to me. This isn't you!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Give the girl a prize.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm beginning to wonder if I have a good one. Well I am. I mean up until now I didn't even think I had a dark side. I mean, not any more so than anyone else.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, well. The important thing is the good side won out.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, but I must have been more susceptible than either one of you, otherwise he wouldn't of chosen me, right? Right?

Piper Halliwell:
You were the only one that was born in the house, that makes you more connected to it. That spiritual nexus thing.

Phoebe Halliwell:
That's exactly my point. I could go either way. Good or evil. Kinda freaky. I do have to tell you I am gonna miss that new power though. It was so fun.

Piper Halliwell:
If Grams put away the shadow and it came back.

Prue Halliwell:
Means it can come back again. Okay, it's time. Every witch before us has added to the Book of Shadows. We need to warn who comes next. It's our turn.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Who should do it? [Prue hands Phoebe a pen and she begins to write]

Phoebe Halliwell:
I am light. I am one too strong to fight. Return to dark where shadows dwell. You cannot have this Halliwell. [pause] Go away and leave my sight, and take with you this endless night.

Phoebe:
Welcome to Halliwell Manor. My name is Phoebe. I'll be your cruise director this evening.

Phoebe:
[conjures a machete in her hand] Any fantasies about how you'd want to die?

Prue:
Phoebe, listen to me. This isn't you.

Phoebe:
Give the girl a prize!

Piper:
There has to be a way out of here!

Prue:
We've tried everything, Piper. Besides, the only way to help Phoebe is from inside.

Piper:
Help her kill us, maybe.

Prue:
Yeah, well we have to keep trying.

Phoebe:
[shouting from afar] Prue! Piper! Help me!

Prue:
Do you think...

Phoebe:
[shouting from afar] Please! You've got to help me! Down in the basement!

Piper:
Trap!

Prue:
Yeah, well, what else can we do?

Piper:
We could not go to the basement. I'd vote for that.

Prue:
Grams must've thought that this evil might come back, and that's why she told us this story.

Piper:
Well, how do we remember the words? I never even believed in the Woogyman.

Prue:
No, but Phoebe did. She knows the story by heart.

Piper:
Something tells me she's not in the mood to share.

Phoebe Halliwell:
It's okay. We've been through worse. We'll get through this. We'll figure it out. And if you get back to the future and we're in jail, you just have to bust us out. You just go back to that beautiful, peaceful world that you helped create. I'm really gonna miss you.

Gideon:
Leo, listen to me. You know what happens. You know what Chris came here to stop. Let me finish what I started. Let me save the future, the only way it can be saved.

Leo Wyatt:
You're the reason the future's threatened, Gideon, not Wyatt...

Leo Wyatt:
How's Piper?

Dr. Roberts:
She's resting comfortably.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Is she okay?

Dr. Roberts:
We stopped the bleeding, obviously had to perform a C-section, but I think she's going to be okay.

Leo Wyatt:
And the baby... Is he all right?

Dr. Roberts:
You tell me. Congratulations. He's perfectly healthy.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Really?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, look, he's beautiful. Baby Christopher. That's your brother.

Paige Matthews:
Looks like we didn't lose him after all.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Can we see Piper?

Dr. Roberts:
Well, maybe just one of you for now.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Go tell her we love her. Where'd the baby go? That's your brother.

Victor Bennett:
Alright, who brought my ex-wife back from the dead?

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
We are gathered here today to unite two souls as one. Do you, Leo Wyatt, and Piper Halliwell, join us here of your own free will to acknowledge the eternal bond shared by both of you.

Leo Wyatt:
I do.

Piper Halliwell:
I do.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
You may face each other, join hands. Leo, you may recite your vows.

Leo Wyatt:
Piper, through all the tears and struggles, I always knew in my heart that we'd make it here. I promise to love and respect you from this point forward as your husband, as my wife, my lover, my friend, and my soul mate. All I am is yours.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Piper.

Piper Halliwell:
Leo, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was afraid that you were too good to be true, that maybe I didn't deserve someone so pure and beautiful and loving as you are. But here we are surrounded by the people that I love the most and I feel so proud, and so blessed to be your wife. Leo, I was born to love you and I always will.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Here before witnesses, Leo and Piper have sworn their vows towards each other. With this cord, I bind them to those vows.

Piper Halliwell, Leo Wyatt:
Heart to thee, body to thee, always and forever, so mote it be.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
So mote it be.

Prue Halliwell, Phoebe Halliwell:
So mote it be.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
[clock strikes twelve] Kiss her fast.

Cole Turner:
Oh, no, I'm not a cop. I'm a fortune teller and I predict you're gonna give me a confession.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, I'm telling you because you are Prue. I mean, you are both two sides of my sister. Prue, you have to stop devoting your entire self to the Charmed Ones. It'll tear you apart. Literally.

Prue Halliwell:
Is Piper very mad at me?

Phoebe Halliwell:
She'll get over it. And you know why? Because we're okay now, Piper and me. We've both got passion and purpose in our lives and you gave us that.

Prue Halliwell:
No, I'm free. I'm not going back.

Victor Bennett:
Honestly, I look back at those days as the best of my life. I loved your mother, she was the best thing that ever happened to me until the three of you came along.

Piper Halliwell:
All I have to do is look at you and dad to see where I might end up if I marry Leo. I mean, look at the track record. The Halliwells, we are blessed as witches and we are cursed as women. Sometimes I think we're all destined to end up alone.

Phoebe Halliwell:
So I just studied this in psych 101. Freud. You're the ID. Prue's inner desires. Which means that she is the ego. The control factor.

Prue Halliwell:
I'm outta here. You know what? You can not stop me, alright. I am never going back. I'm not going... Alright, you know what? I am sick of this. She is all about duty and obligation, well not me. Alright, I want to be free, I wanna find love, I wanna have a life.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Piper and Leo's love have touched us all. We have to fix this.

Piper Halliwell:
Alright, that's it! The wedding is off! Phoebe!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Sorry! Sorry! Piper, Piper, wait, think about this. Piper, Piper, you can not just leave.

Piper Halliwell:
Yes, I can. A demon I could have handled, but my big sister ruining my wedding, I can not handle that.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, just listen to me for one second. All we have to do is find a way.

Piper Halliwell:
No, no, I don't wanna find a way to get married on my wedding day. It's too hard. There must be a reason.

Leo Wyatt:
Piper!

Piper Halliwell:
Leo, I'm sorry, but this is just the final straw. It's just not meant to be.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Prue, you get your astral ass back here!

Darryl Morris:
Police have your picture. You're wanted for murder. They said you fled custody this morning.

Leo Wyatt:
And I'm sorry that happened to you, I really am. But with all due respect, this isn't about you and Patty, this is about me and Piper. I love her with all my heart, and I promise to keep loving her and taking care of her for the rest of this life, the afterlife and whatever comes after that. Now you may not support it and you may not agree with it but it is not gonna stop me from marrying your daughter today. Nothing will.

Piper Halliwell:
It is bad luck to see the bride's dress before the wedding.

Leo Wyatt:
But you're not even wearing the dress.

Piper Halliwell:
e same rule applies to the bride's curlers. Go away.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
I'm thinking more to the left. Is this the biggest arch you could get?

Prue Halliwell:
Without opening a fast food franchise, yeah.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Well, just remember, if love is the quest then marriage is the conquest. This place must be like victory.

Prue Halliwell:
Better listen to Grams, Phoebe. I mean, you could always calculate her age by the number of rings on her fingers.

Victor Bennett:
[while playing Candyland] Unless you draw a double red, you don't stand a chance, my man. Go ahead. Pick that card. [Wyatt draws a blue card and Victor laughs. Suddenly, it orbs and changes to a double red] Hey! That's cheating!

Wyatt Halliwell:
[giggling] It wasn't me. It was Chris.

Victor Bennett:
No way! He doesn't have any powers yet.

Wyatt Halliwell:
Yes he does.

Baby Chris:
[Laughs in his playpen]

Victor Bennett:
All right. Who the hell are you and what do you want?

Coop:
You've got the wrong idea. I'm a friend. I'm a Cupid.

Victor Bennett:
Yeah, right. Get out of here or I'll sic my grandson on you!

Victor Bennett:
What do you know about love?

Coop:
I'm a cupid.

Phoebe:
I'm pregnant.

Paige:
Dex?

Phoebe:
No some guy I met at a gas station... yes, of course, Dex.

Piper:
Fine, but if you get caught on tape I will vanquish you.

Billie Jenkins:
[laughs, thinking Piper's joking] [To Paige] She's serious?

Paige:
[shrugs] Ah, just don't get caught.

The Dogan:
Cocky little witch, aren't you? Or foolish.

Billie Jenkins:
I prefer the former.

Piper:
You can fight demons but you're afraid of pumpkins?

Billie Jenkins:
I'm not afraid of pumpkins.

[Piper is aggressively carving out a jack-o-lantern for Halloween]

Paige:
Dang, what'd that pumpkin ever do to you?

Piper:
Nothing. I'm venting.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Magical boys will be magical boys.

Leo Wyatt:
Yeah, well, try telling that to his magical mama.

[after Katya-as-Nina retrieves Pandora's box and speaks in a demonic voice]

Piper Halliwell:
Aww, crap.

Hope:
You blew up my dorm! With your hands!

Piper Halliwell:
Yes, and I am very sorry about that.

Darcy:
Your forgetting one thing about Pandora's box according to legend when all the sorrows were released there was one thing left found at the bottom of the box... Hope.

Piper Halliwell:
Ok, listen to me. You will not orb down to your little friend. Do you understand me? No orbing.

Paige:
She's like Piper light. All the personality without any of those messy emotions.

Leo Wyatt:
Phoebe, you can't be the queen of the underworld and a Charmed One. You can't have it both ways.

Piper Halliwell:
Phoebe, you heard what he said, he's gonna kill us, help us!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Forgive me.

Cole Turner:
I'm sorry. It's for the best.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I know it is. [Phoebe kisses him]

Piper Halliwell:
Phoebe?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm sorry too. [Phoebe traps him]

Cole Turner:
Phoebe, no. No!

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry.

Piper Halliwell:
Prudence, Penelope, Patricia, Melinda...

Phoebe Halliwell:
Ashford, Helen, Laura and Grace...

Cole Turner:
I will always love you.

Paige:
Halliwell witches stand strong beside us.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Vanquish this evil...

Paige, Phoebe Halliwell, Piper Halliwell:
From time and space. [Cole is vanquished]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Can you do anything about this thunder? Because it is making me nuts!

The Seer:
I have no sway over the weather. I do have a friend who works with wind, but she's out of town.

Piper:
[after Prue has turned into a dog to track a banshee] Well at least we know she understands what we are saying.

Phoebe:
Oh she's such a pretty dog.

Piper:
What else did you expect?

Leo Wyatt:
A doberman.

Prue Halliwell:
[growls] Grrrrr...

[Leo jumps back]

Leo Wyatt:
Easy.

Piper:
Awwh, honey watch your orbs.

Prue Halliwell:
At least I got to meet a really cute guy.

Piper:
You met a guy?

Prue Halliwell:
Mm-hmm.

Piper:
As a dog?

Prue Halliwell:
Mm-hmm.

Piper:
How?

Prue Halliwell:
Well, he ran me over.

Piper:
[after injuring Ludlow] Power of three spell?

Phoebe:
I don't have one.

Paige:
I did one.

Piper, Phoebe, Paige:
The brittle winter gives way to flowers of spring, Ludlow is vanquished. [Ludlow yells and blows up. Piper and Phoebe are looking perplexed]

Phoebe:
What the hell was that?

Paige:
It was a Haiku. I couldn't do the rhyming thing.

Paige:
Hey, Cole, how's your progress going on

[walks into the bathroom and sees Phoebe standing naked in the bathtub]

Paige:
Oh, God! Full frontal Phoebe. Sorry.

Cole Turner:
[stuttering] She just flashed.

Paige:
Yeah, I got that.

Cole Turner:
No, no, I mean she flashed black and white.

Paige:
Again? She's like an old TV that's on the blink or something.

Cole Turner:
Hey, uh, maybe that's the connection. The TV show "Bewitched", is that in black and white or color?

Paige:
Originally, black and white.

Phoebe:
[shivers] Brr. I'm very chilly.

Paige:
Uh, Phoebe, sit down.

Phoebe:
Okay.

[Phoebe sits back down in the tub]

Paige:
Why are you asking me about "Bewitched"?

Cole Turner:
Because Phoebe was worried about becoming an old-fashioned housewife like Samantha. And that might be fine for some people, but for Phoebe, that could be kind of dangerous. So I'll take care of her, and you need to write the Power of Three spell.

Paige:
No, I've never done that before.

Cole Turner:
Well, you're gonna have to learn fast, so go, hurry.

Prue Halliwell:
Okay, so that spell switched all of our powers.

Piper Halliwell:
Am I going to get yelled at?

Phoebe Halliwell:
It's a supernatural Freaky Friday.

Prue Halliwell:
A couple of dates not picking up the check, that's a slump. This is more like a sucking void.

[Prue and Piper just find out Leo is a Whitelighter]

Prue Halliwell:
What is he again?

Phoebe Halliwell:
He's a Whitelighter. You know, kinda like how Peter Pan has Tinkerbell? They're sort of like that only minus the tutu and wings.

Piper Halliwell:
[as Daisy is about to leave] If you leave, Alec *will* find you, and Leo's death will mean nothing. You're not going *anywhere*!

Phoebe Halliwell:
[after Prue vanquishes Alec] You okay?

Prue Halliwell:
I can't believe how much hate that took. I *never* want to feel like that again.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Stella, we are gettin' our groove back.

Prue Halliwell:
Maybe we should just let her be. I mean, we're not the ones who fell in love with a warlock, a ghost, a geographically undesirable handyman, and a very dorky grad student.

Leo Wyatt:
They seduce innocent women. Their goal is to create evil through reproduction.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Great. Generation 666.

Prue Halliwell:
Hey, what's going on?

Phoebe Halliwell:
You know, the usual. Made some coffee, read the newspaper, walked in on Piper switching powers with Leo. You know.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, God! I think I just had one of Phoebe's premonition thingies.

Piper Halliwell:
Okay I can do this. Now heal. Come on heal. Why aren't these working?

Prue Halliwell:
When I first got my power, it was anger that triggered it, so I need to push our buttons.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Ok, it's not so easy to break me.

Prue Halliwell:
What was it in high school that the guys started calling you after they caught you making out with someone under the bleachers?

Phoebe Halliwell:
It's not gonna work.

Prue Halliwell:
What was that? Oh, yeah. Freebie. [Phoebe moves magazine rack]

Prue Halliwell:
Okay, now would be a very good time to get angry.

Alec:
I've never used this on a witch before.

Prue Halliwell:
Ooh, Grams car, fender dented. You got blamed for it. I did it.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Ohh! [sends Alec flying]

Phoebe Halliwell:
I got grounded for that, Prue!

Piper Halliwell:
I love you, Leo. I found it. Leo? I love you. Can you hear me? [Heals Leo] I love you, Leo. Please hear me.

Leo Wyatt:
Piper.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, thank God. Oh! tried so hard, and I couldn't make it work before. Why didn't you tell me?

Leo Wyatt:
That love was the trigger? You had to find that out on your own. Why couldn't you tell me?

Piper Halliwell:
I don't know. I was afraid. I was afraid if I admitted how I really felt that it would hurt more if I lost you. I'm so sorry. I should've said it before.

Leo Wyatt:
It's better late than never. [kisses her]

Leo Wyatt:
Human? Yes, it does. I was actually born right here in San Francisco. I had lived here all the way up till I went off to the war.

Piper Halliwell:
You mean, like Vietnam?

Leo Wyatt:
No. World war II. I left med school and enlisted as a medic. And I wanted to help save people, not shoot them. The last thing I remember, I was bandaging a soldier's head wound, and I felt a sharp pain. And then the next thing I know, I was floating, surrounded by Whitelighters. And they offered me immortality and a chance to help special people like you. And I never once ever doubted that I didn't make the right choice till I met you. Ever since, all I can think is how I'd give it up to have a mortal life again, to have a family and grow old with you.

Prue Halliwell:
Remember when I said that you had no vision?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Which time?

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, you will never hear it again. Takes a lot of strength to see what you see.

Paige Matthews:
I know how much you loved him, how much it hurts to have lost him, but you have to let him live. It's the only way for you to move on and get out of limbo. Olivia, please, come away from vengeance and come back to forgiveness, back to who you were. Just let the feud end with life and not with death.

Piper:
Take Wyatt out of here.

Leo:
But I -

Piper:
No, no arguing, just orb, ok? You were the only one that wasn't cursed with the bad luck. He's safe with you.

Leo:
All right, well, I'll take him to Uncle Elders. He'll be safe there.

Phoebe:
Didn't they ask you not to do that?

Leo:
Yeah, but... screw 'em.

Neil Giraldo:
Say, how've you been, Shamus? Long time.

Shamus:
Don't even try it, Neil. I already hit you with me best shot. That's all ye get.

Piper Halliwell:
Pat Benatar is in the kitchen on the phone with her manager, rearranging her schedule so she can play at P3. I am so sorry I doubted you. [gives Shamus a kiss on the cheek]

Shamus:
Just like a woman. You have to give 'em a gift to get anything in return.

Paige Matthews:
[rolls dice at craps table] All right, come on now, baby needs a new pair of shoes, and by baby I do mean me.

Shamus:
[about to travel the rainbow road away from Saleel] Hold on to your knickers, Darling

Grams:
Logic and reason go out the window when love gets involved.

Piper Halliwell:
I swear to god I have seen this in a movie once.

[upon hearing what could happen if Piper and Leo go against the Elders]

Phoebe:
This whole unspeakable wrath thing, does that mean just the bride and groom, or the bridesmaids as well?

Piper:
We have to find a way of hiding the rutabaga.

Prue:
The rutabaga?

Piper:
It's code word for the thing we're not supposed to talk about.

Prue:
Oh, the rutabaga.

Phoebe:
If I had a dollar for every times an owl turned into a hot guy on our porch, I'd be rich...

[Grams magically flips the Book of Shadows open to the page on Handfasting]

Phoebe:
You know, I specifically asked for a...

Grams:
[voiceover] You asked for an answer. There it is.

Phoebe:
[suspiciously] I know that voice...

Grams:
[appearing in spectral form] Well, I should hope so.

The Boss:
Oh, look, it's the Girl Scouts. Set your thin mints down on the table and leave before you get yourselves hurt.

Piper:
Last year you had a premonition that you would have a daughter which means that this year you have to have a little sex and get pregnant. And since Dex, which coincidentally rhymes with sex, could be the father!

Phoebe:
GOD!

Paige:
Witches don't wear costumes.

Billie Jenkins:
So the conical hat and black cape are everyday wear?

The Seer:
A dark priest to perform the ceremony. At night, in a cemetery, and of course the groom will have to drink her blood.

Phoebe Halliwell:
It is? [Phoebe turns invisible] My zits are gone?

Piper Halliwell:
Yeah, I can, I can honestly say that your face is completely clear.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Wait, you mean transfer the invisibility to you? No way, I won't let you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
And then Prue crashed through the front door on a Harley.

Piper Halliwell:
Yeah, only Prue could make my wedding day all about her. But the point is, I barely remember the ceremony, it's a total blur. And in the end all that matters is that you marry the guy that you love, and if you manage to do that your wedding was perfect.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Ahh, Paige! What difference does it make? I am invisible. My wedding is supposed to start in less than one hour and everyone I've ever known will be there, and I'm never gonna be able to face them again. Ugh!

Paige Matthews:
Phoebe, every Cinderella needs a fairy godmother. Let me be yours.

Piper Halliwell:
I'll check that out. Keep going.

Phoebe Halliwell:
That's it. The wedding is off! Tell everyone to get outta here. Go-go-go-go!

Paige Matthews:
Why would you save us one day and try to kill us the next?

The Seer:
For the same reason. To keep the balance of power between good and evil.

Cole Turner:
And perfect

Phoebe Halliwell:
For what?

Cole Turner:
A wedding.

Piper Halliwell:
I couldn't agree more.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Really?

Paige Matthews:
You've got the rings.

Leo Wyatt:
And we're all here.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, I do. I mean, I will. Let's go.

Dark Priest:
Not two but one, then life be gone. You may kiss the bride.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We did it.

Cole Turner:
Yes, we did.

The Seer:
It is done.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What did I do Premonition the man to death?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I wouldn't. I couldn't. What did I do, premonition the man to death?

Piper Halliwell:
And you're blonde.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, strange.

Prue Halliwell:
If I died tonight, my gravestone would read 'Here lies Prue, she worked hard'.

Melinda Halliwell-Wyatt:
Mommy, mommy, mommy.

Piper Halliwell:
Uh, I think you have the wrong house. Certainly the wrong mommy.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, apparently going to the past isn't the same as going to the future. I just wish that since we are in our future bodies that we could have some memory of what's happened in the last ten years, like how I got a daughter.

Prue Halliwell:
Okay, apparently my power isn't the only one that's grown. You just froze...

Piper Halliwell:
Everything. What a difference a decade makes.

Nathaniel Pratt:
It's been so long since our last visit. Executions are a b*tch to plan. Logistics, alerting the media, gathering the kindling.

Leo Wyatt:
She hurt him because he murdered someone. Someone Phoebe cared about very much. A dear friend who he brutalized. But a technicality set him free. Phoebe was furious, outraged. And that's when she crossed the line from protecting the innocent to punishing the guilty. She used her power to kill Greene, got caught, and her magic exposed by Nathaniel Pratt.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Leo, thank God! Look, I know what they think I did and if you just...

Leo Wyatt:
Shh... they'll hear you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Where's the rest of the cavalry?

Leo Wyatt:
They're not coming.

Phoebe Halliwell:
So, what, you'll grab me and we'll just orb and we'll meet them back at the...

Leo Wyatt:
Phoebe, I'm sorry.

Phoebe Halliwell:
For what? Did something happen to my sisters?

Leo Wyatt:
Nobody's gonna rescue you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[to Leo] If that is some kind of whitelighter humour, let me be the first to tell you, you are not a very funny race of people.

Prue Halliwell:
Leo, you were supposed to bring her back here.

Leo Wyatt:
No, I said I'd go to her. And I did. To explain to her why she has to pay for her crime.

Piper Halliwell:
You're our guide, you're supposed to protect us and you're just gonna let her die.

Prue Halliwell:
You're signing her death warrant.

Leo Wyatt:
I'm to protect the greater good. If Phoebe lives, if you use your magic to save her, then the persecutions will continue. And our daughter will grow into a world where her powers punishable by death. Do you want that?

Piper Halliwell:
Of course not.

Leo Wyatt:
Well, then it has to end with Phoebe. She has to die.

Prue Halliwell:
Like hell

Leo Wyatt:
You don't have to bind her powers, Piper. We agreed that I'd take care of her and I will, I promise.

Prue Halliwell:
I know you will. So we were together. Does that mean you clipped your wings for me?

Leo Wyatt:
No. You wouldn't let me. We tried to make it work with her powers, and it didn't, and all this happened.

Piper Halliwell:
Were we happy? Just for a little while were we happy?

Leo Wyatt:
Very.

Phoebe Halliwell:
So what if he did? What's he gonna do? Cry witch? Well, we've done our good deed for the day. I think I deserve fifteen minutes of channel surfing.

Nathaniel Pratt:
I love the smell of burnt witch in the morning.

Phoebe Halliwell:
At least I'm paying for my crime. There'll come a day where you have to pay for yours too.

Nathaniel Pratt:
Remorseless to the end. Let today be a lesson to all those who would seek to defy human nature with their way of life. Let today serve notice that black magic will not be tolerated in our society and let today be remembered as the day we burned the witch.

Prue Halliwell:
I have no one to say goodbye to. My life, they didn't even know who you were at the office, my own sister. If we die tonight, my tombstone will read: Here lies Prue, she worked hard.

Piper Halliwell:
That's what we do best. [they kiss. Leo orbs out] I hate when he does that.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Wrong things done for the right reasons still the wrong thing. Our job is to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty. And I crossed that line, I know that. And now you guys have to know that too.

Prue Halliwell:
We are not leaving here without you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Prue, we were sent here for a reason. Maybe not to stop this like we thought. But maybe to understand why this has to happen. Why you have to let this happen. I don't want to die. But I don't want you to die because of me.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Apparently neither have we. I think this is why we were sent back here to this moment and time. This is where it all started. The first time we used our magic for revenge.

Prue Halliwell:
Look, this is Pratt's personal crusade. This isn't about us, this is about him. Where ever we go, he will follow us. He will hunt us. He will hunt our families. If anybody should be punished, it should be him.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Prue, what are you doing?

Prue Halliwell:
Saving the future good witches and our future.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Once you break the small rules, it's just a matter of time before the big ones are next.

[After Billie's parents got turned into assassins]

Billie Jenkins:
What is going on?

Phoebe:
Piper what did you put in their food?

Piper:
Food was in the food. Thank you.

Phoebe:
How do you explain this?

Piper:
Well don't look at me, she's the one who said assassin.

Billie Jenkins:
It's a figure of speech!

Darryl Morris:
Begs the same question. How come she's got the bullets in her body if you didn't fire the gun?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Do you really wanna know, Darryl?

Darryl Morris:
Tell me.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We're witches. We have powers.

Marcie Steadwell:
Oh, my stars!

Piper Halliwell:
What is it? What's wrong?

Marcie Steadwell:
You can't keep wolfsbane and holy thistle on the same shelf. Their harmonics are in complete opposition. I mean, I don't want to second-guess a sister witch, but this is all wrong. I don't see how you can cast a spell that's worth a darn.

Prue Halliwell:
[on the phone] Well, just tell Marcy that she can sell the ring and use the money to rebuild the bookstore. Tell her it's a thank you for protecting us... no, Darryl, the ring is not hot.

Prue Halliwell:
Alright, here goes. From this moment on your pain is erased, your bad luck as well, enjoy your good luck Maggie, you're free from this hell.

Leo:
Piper, are you mad at me?

Piper:
No, don't be ridiculous. Why would I be mad at you?

Leo:
I don't know, that's why I'm asking. What is it?

Piper:
It's just, um, Dan.

Leo:
Oh. Never mind, sorry I asked.

Piper:
Um, he's-he's going to be... He's going to be very upset when he finds out... you're the one that I really love.

Leo:
Yeah?

Piper:
Yeah.

[they kiss]

Piper:
That can't be right. How many swizzle sticks?

Leo:
[staring at her legs] Who's counting?

Cole:
[the Charmed ones are being inspired by a muse] I think Leo should orb me down to the Underworld. I may not be a demon anymore, but I still know the terrain.

Phoebe:
And you may just find yourself in ever-lasting pain!

Paige:
... That was a rhyme.

Phoebe:
I know; and now is not the time.

Phoebe:
And even if you think we don't need the protection, just think of Cole, he is a human being with no magical powers living in a house that's constantly under demonic attack.

Leo Wyatt:
You had to kill a Valkyrie. Whitelighters don't kill, or did you not read the manual?

Gith:
I don't understand? [Chris orbs in]

Chris Halliwell:
Something wrong?

Gith:
The boyfriend took the bullet. It was meant for the witch.

Chris Halliwell:
You tried to kill one of them already?

Gith:
I create worlds, I don't control them. They work in their own way, their own time. This is the first time a victim has ever escaped a direct attempt on their life.

Chris Halliwell:
Ya, well, they're pretty good aren't they?

Gith:
It;s okay. Their desires will kill them eventually. After all... it is what you desire isn't it? [Chris grabs vile with potion and Gith creates a crossbow]

Chris Halliwell:
Actually... [as Chris is going yo throw the potion he is shot with the darklighter arrow]

Gith:
I could sense your desire from the beginning. You never wanted to kill your charges, just... teach them a lesson. That's right, darklighter arrow. [Smashes vile with vanquishing potion]

Gith:
Poison shouldn't take long. But with luck you may just live long enough to watch the Charmed Ones learn their lesson after all.

Gith:
An empath? You didn't tell me the middle sister was an empath.

Chris Halliwell:
Sorry.

Gith:
She must have been feeling his desire when I created her world. It's no matter, my worlds always kill their victims. You know why? Because desires are emoty. They lack foundation. This world will fall too. It's only a matter of time.

Jason Dean:
[in Phoebe's world after Jason was shot] I'm getting thirsty.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay. I'll try to see if I can find something.

Gith:
[Chris telekinetically puts Phoebe in Paige's world] No. [Gith kicks Chris and knocks him out]

Piper:
Paige! There will be no talk of testicle-orbing in front of the child!

Leo:
And not around his daddy either.

Piper:
[about Wyatt] He looks so innocent... he has no idea what me and Auntie Paige did today.

Leo:
They turned a very bad man into a very big tree.

Piper:
[about Wyatt] He looks so innocent... he has no idea what mommy and Auntie Paige did today.

Leo:
They turned a very bad man into a very big tree.

Phoebe:
Oh, are we back to blaming you again?

Piper:
Yeah.

Phoebe:
Just checking.

Leo:
All right. Rock on.

Piper:
Don't do that.

Leo:
Rock on.

Piper:
Give it up, man.

Leo:
What?

Piper:
Give it up!

Leo:
I'll show you give it up! You give it up, is what I'm saying right now!

Piper:
You know, it's like sports. You can't lose your starting job due to injury.

Paige:
Vanquishing demons is not a sport, Piper.

Piper:
It is if you're good at it.

Piper Halliwell:
What are you going to do? Scwry for mother nature and have a wicked word with her?

Piper Halliwell:
What are you going to do? Scry for mother nature and have a wiccan word with her?

Chris Perry:
What can I do to get you two over the hump here?

Phoebe:
Try saying this - it always works for Leo - "Your power comes from your emotions."

Paige:
Or, or what about this - "Trust the Power of Three."

Phoebe:
Or how about this one - "I'm gonna go check with the Elders." Do you actually think he checks with the Elders?

Paige:
No. He probably just orbs to a sports bar and buys his buddies rounds of drinks. "Yeah, my wife thinks I'm Up There. Here's to the Elders."

Piper:
What are you going to do? Scurry for mother nature and have a wicked word with her?

Leo Wyatt:
As an Elder I have the power to take your pain away.

Piper:
You can't make me forget you.

Piper:
[Piper and Paige walk in on Phoebe surrounded by men] Phoebe, we need to talk.

Phoebe:
[In a relaxed voice] Yes, this world would be such a lovely place if everyone just talked more.

Chris Perry:
What the hell is this? Goddesses Gone Wild?

Piper:
Time for a morality check. Leo did not give us this power so we could form armies or love cults.

Piper:
Apparently it's one of my powers to keep an eye on you. What is going on here?

Paige:
Oh, I'm just building an army. I figured what better way to smite the titans than with hordes of demons, right?

Piper:
Wrong. All of you, out.

Demon:
We answer only to our liege.

Piper:
I see.

Paige:
They're very loyal. And you know what? I don't know why I was wasting my time studying witchcraft when I clearly should've been earning my general stripes. Hmm.

Piper:
I said go! *Now!* [ground shakes]

Paige:
What'd you have to do that for? I had followers!

Piper:
You can't have followers. None of us can. Now, come on, before I unleash my wrath on you.

Piper:
What are they doing here?

Phoebe:
Oh, worshipping me, adoring me, exalting my name. There is so much love in this room I can barely stand it.

Cole Turner:
It's a long drive home. Do you think I could use your restroom?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Number one or number two.

Prue Halliwell:
He has to go tootie!

Cole Turner:
Excuse me?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, you can come in but you have to do it very fast, whatever it is.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Where are the keys?

Prue Halliwell:
Keys?

Phoebe Halliwell:
You know, shiney silver things that go jingle jingle.

[after explaining what happened to the fairy]

Kate:
But the trolls are going to kill her if her parents don't handover the kingdom.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Sounds like a miniature coup d'?tat.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, you know what? You are being a big, big, big, extra, extra, extra, double big jerk right now. Because now I have the key, so Thistle is safe and we have to be back with Kate at midnight so when the trolls attack...

Piper Halliwell:
No. You guys are going home and you're not driving either 'cause someone will think you're drunk or something. So go outside and wait there and I will call a cab.

Piper Halliwell:
You better run while you can, you little rodents.

[she stands up and looks up at the sky]

Piper Halliwell:
I bet you guys think this is real funny don't ya? Haven't you taken enough from me? You have to send trolls to kick me while I'm down. I had a nice normal life once and you took that from me. You took my boyfriend, you took my life, the least you could do is leave me my freakin' car keys. I am a good person, I am a good witch and damn it I would've made a great wife. And how dare you take that from me. I deserve... no, you know what? I demand that you send him back to me. You hear me? Right now. I am going to stand in this very spot until you send Leo back to me.

Piper Halliwell:
Come on, Phoebe, trolls and fairies? You don't believe that stuff.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Sure, why not?

Piper Halliwell:
[to Prue] Well, maybe it's time we tell her about Santa.

Prue Halliwell:
Stairs can be sobering.

Piper:
Hi, Phoebe. Need a diaper change?

Phoebe:
Haha, very funny. Look, we need you to come home right away by midnight or else...

Piper:
The tooth fairy's gonna come and harass us all for not flossing?

Paige:
Do you think we should put some snacks in the cage?

Phoebe:
Like what, a wildebeest?

Piper:
Please don't say beast.

Paige:
No, I'm just saying we don't know how long we're gonna be in here. What if I get hungry?

Piper:
Well, then we'll have Leo throw us Whitelighter. Don't worry about it.

Paige Matthews:
Cool, Raiders of the Lost Ark. I always wanted to see that. Christmas in New York, nothing like it, right?

Paige Matthews:
What? What happened?

Piper Halliwell:
Oh you know... Your boyfriend tried to kill my husband...

Prue Halliwell:
[about Piper] Look Andy, will you please just get her out of here?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Prue, I'm not leaving the two of you alone.

Prue Halliwell:
Do I have to use my power on you?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
I'll meet you up on the street.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Then what's wrong with being a couple?

Piper Halliwell:
Well, I thought Leo and I were a couple and then we... coupled and he took off.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Josh. He wants to have 'the talk' with Piper.

Prue Halliwell:
What talk?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Three dates, no sex. There could only be one talk he's talking about. The talk. Safe sex, prior partners, standard dating protocol.

Piper Halliwell:
And sex equals relationship.

Prue Halliwell:
And you're not sure that you want to be a couple.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, it's not that I don't like him.

Phoebe Halliwell:
It was the first time you channeled your power through your hands. Give yourself a break. Your power's growing.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah. I just hope no one saw me.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, look on the bright side. You won't have to squint your eyes anymore. You were starting to get those little lines.

Prue Halliwell:
Magic? Why would you come to me?

Eric Lohman:
I don't know. Maybe because I saw you levitate two people in the park with just a wave of your hand. I take that as a "no comment." So what are you, anyway, some kind of a David Copperfield? Lance Burton? A freak of nature?

Eric Lohman:
Prue, be smart. Work with me. I'm going to break this story one way or the other, and when I do, I can either make you sound like Wonder Woman or the devil incarnate. Ok? Think about it.

Brent Miller:
You believe my story about the monsters?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yes, I do.

Brent Miller:
Why, when everyone else has always laughed at me?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, maybe it's because I've seen my share of monsters, and I haven't told anybody about them because I didn't want them to laugh at me either.

Brent Miller:
There were two of them. Terrifying creatures, really. They dragged me into a storm drain, to a junction of some kind. They held me down. I remember blue sparks hitting my face. My eyes felt like they were on fire, and that was the last thing I ever saw.

Brent Miller:
Phoebe? How did you know what I was wearing and where I was running? Are you, like, some kind of psychic or something?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Like. Only different.

Brent Miller:
Right. That's how you've seen all these other monsters that you've mentioned, isn't it? Phoebe, you're a good person. And that probably means you have a strong aura. Please be careful with these monsters.

Prue Halliwell:
He's a reporter, trying to make a name for himself. You can't believe anything he says.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Normally, I don't. This time, I do. We've been down this road too many times, Prue. I know you're hiding something. I have my suspicions about what it is, but I've had to accept the fact that you can't tell me or you don't want to tell me. Either way, it's not just me anymore. Lohman's onto you, or at least he thinks he is. And he's not gonna let go. Prue, if you don't level with me, I can't help you control this.

Prue Halliwell:
Andy, I'm just never sure if it's better for you to know or not to know.

Eric Lohman:
How do you explain your sister's purse magically jumping from her right shoulder to her left shoulder instantaneously? Huh? You screwed up. And I got the proof. Okay, now here's the deal. I already got my story ready to print. What I really want now from you is a tell-all exclusive, all right? I'll write the book. We can share the movie rights, foreign sales, distribution... it's gonna be... it'll be a good thing.

Piper Halliwell:
Eew! I'm not wearing the right shoes for this.

Prue Halliwell:
[mixing and stirring up a potion] I feel like I should be cackling.

Prue Halliwell:
All right, you win.

Eric Lohman:
I win? What's my prize?

Prue Halliwell:
I'm a witch with magical powers.

Eric Lohman:
A witch? A witch? Ha ha ha. This is great. Great. Terrific. Let's go.

Prue Halliwell:
Uh, look, Andy, I need you to get Piper up on the street, okay?

Piper Halliwell:
No, Prue, I want to stay. I need to help.

Prue Halliwell:
No, you are far too weak to use your powers.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Her, too?

Prue Halliwell:
Look, Andy, will you please just get her out of here?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Prue, I'm not leaving the two of you alone.

Prue Halliwell:
Do I have to use my power on you?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
I'll meet you up on the street.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Hey, you ok?

Piper Halliwell:
Yeah, I was just thinking, when I was in the storm drain, I was kind of out of it. I kept thinking about Leo. That's weird.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Maybe you miss him.

Piper Halliwell:
Maybe.

Prue Halliwell:
So now you know.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Although it's... uh... still sinking in.

Prue Halliwell:
Where do we go from here?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
That's a good question.

Brent Miller:
That's all right. I mean if anyone understands the danger of telling amazing stories, I sure do. I was right, you do have a beautiful smile.

Piper Halliwell:
If I'm thinking about Leo, then I'm definitely not thinking about Josh.

Josh:
This is important. It could affect the rest of my life.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, not if we take precautions.

Josh:
What?

Piper Halliwell:
I'm not saying I'm ready for that. In fact I'm not ready for that. But when I am ready for that, I'm just saying I will be taking precautions.

Josh:
Piper, what are you talking about?

Piper Halliwell:
Uh, having... sex. You're not talking about that, are you?

Sam Wilder:
In case you didn't get the memo, I'm not one of the good guys anymore.

Leo Wyatt:
It's just this, this whole situation - you know, Sam, your mom, those letters. He loved her. Like I love you.

Piper Halliwell:
Leo, we've been through this before. We both know how we feel, but there are things, people involved now.

Leo Wyatt:
Can you tell Dan the truth, Piper?

Piper Halliwell:
That's between him and me. You and I have a job to do and I thought we agreed to try and put that first.

Leo Wyatt:
So did Sam and your mom. Look at the outcome.

Piper Halliwell:
You're leaving, aren't you? For good this time.

Leo Wyatt:
I don't know. But I do know we have to stop working together because I can't stop loving you... Which means I can't do my job.

Piper Halliwell:
And I can't do mine... I don't know how to say goodbye.

Leo Wyatt:
Don't.

Piper Halliwell:
Dan, what are you doing at the back door?

Dan Gordon:
Well, when I knock on the front door, I just never seem to make it through the threshold.

Piper Halliwell:
I'm getting a migraine.

[last lines]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Still, it's okay to be bad every once in a while, isn't it?

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, yeah. A lot.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I have too many phobias. To study for my psych exam. I had no idea there were so many. Claustrophobia, arachnophobia,

[flipping through her flash cards]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Um, kleptophobia, phallusphobia.

Prue Halliwell:
Relax-a-phobia.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Cute.

Prue Halliwell:
Just trying to help.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We were all related - cousins - and we lived here at the manor back in the '20s.

Piper Halliwell:
Together? Here? [looks at Prue] So much for evolution.

Billie Jenkins:
Do you want me to call for his guns?

Paige Matthews:
No, no! You can't use magic. There are cameras everywhere. We can't risk exposure.

Henry Mitchell:
[referring to Nick Edwards] I've never seen him like this. It's like he just snapped.

Billie Jenkins:
Oh, really? Is that what he did?

Phoebe Halliwell:
What's the matter Prue, jealous, all work and not play make you even more boring!

Phoebe:
Um, about the other night. Are you sorry that we uh...

Cole:
Not at all. Are you?

Phoebe:
Depends on what happens next.

Cole:
Too bad you can't predict the future.

Phoebe:
Who says I can't?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Hey, guys, what's going on?

Prue Halliwell, Piper Halliwell:
Shut up!

Prue Halliwell:
You know what? I am so sorry that I didn't check with you about your stupid little club, I was too busy being the only witch concerned about the triad.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Sisters, what has gotten into you two?

Prue Halliwell:
By the way, you owe me for a car tow and a tank of gas, you little leech!

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm sorry. Is it gang up on Phoebe day and nobody told me?

Piper Halliwell:
News flash! The world does not revolve around Phoebe.

Prue Halliwell:
Yes! So while you get to spend the night screwing the DA, we are stuck picking up your crap.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[Phoebe is infected with rage] What's the matter, Prue? Jealous? All work and no play making you even more boring?

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, yeah! There's a lot to be jealous that I am still living off of my sisters.

Prue Halliwell:
I am so sick of the fact that I've been saddled with the two of you my entire life.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Whatever, I'm leaving.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, sure, you're such an immature brat! You leave every time you can't hack something.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, there's nothing keeping me here now, is there?

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, well, I see that you've inherited dad's talent of bailing.

Phoebe Halliwell:
That's because the two of us couldn't deal with living with the two of you.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, at least I'm not so stupid I had to do college twice.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, at least I actually had the courage to go back to college. What's the matter, Piper? The real world too much for you? I am so sick of the two of you ganging up on me and judging me.

Prue Halliwell:
I am so sick of saving your asses.

Piper Halliwell:
I'm sick of being taken for granted and those are mine. [pulls off Phoebe's earrings]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Ouch! B*tch! [sisters fight using their powers on each other; the design on Book of Shadows pulls apart breaking the sisterly bond in the Power of Three]

Piper:
Leo, you obviously don't have sisters. One minute you're arguing about something and then suddenly you're arguing about who stole whose Malibu Barbie in 1979.

Prue Halliwell:
What happened to our powers?

Leo Wyatt:
That's what we have to figure out. Let's start with your little "tiff".

Piper Halliwell:
Well, that's a bit of an understatement. It was big.

Leo Wyatt:
How big?

Prue Halliwell:
Um, do you remember Pearl Harbor?

[Prue pantomimes an explosion]

Phoebe:
[sings by the BoS] "I am working on a vainquish, I... " [sees Prue smiling and stops]

Phoebe:
Wait a minute. Life altering plans cannot be squeezed in between 'pass the newspaper' and 'who ate the Special K?'!

Phoebe:
Oh, you guys didn't have to get out of bed for little old me.

Officer:
Mrs. Halliwell?

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Can I hear what she did first before I answer that?

Officer:
She was caught shoplifting.

Phoebe:
Oh, that is so not true! I just forgot to pay them Grams. The store's not even pressing charges.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Phoebe!

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
No doctor. Just a picture. Is it too much for an old lady to ask her granddaughters to retract their claws, stand still, and look at me long enough to take one lousy picture?

Piper Halliwell:
You know, this trunk would go great at the foot of our bed.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, my foot would look great on your butt. You are so not taking that, okay? It holds all of our ritual stuff.

Prue Halliwell:
Okay, Sweetie, can we try to contact the dead now, please?

Piper Halliwell:
What, are we like in the Warlocks Guide of San Francisco?

Piper Halliwell:
You know, just because I'm moving out doesn't mean we still can't do this.

Phoebe:
What? Mainline caffeine while waxing on warlock issues?

Piper Halliwell:
No, hangout. You know, I don't wanna be one of those old married leapers that nobody thinks is fun anymore.

Prue Halliwell:
You've never been fun Piper.

Piper Halliwell:
I've always been fun Prue. I am just Mrs. Fun now.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, Mrs. Fun.

Prue Halliwell:
Spell?

Phoebe:
Check! Potion?

Piper Halliwell:
Check! Sharp painful implement?

Prue Halliwell:
[Prue holds up a fireplace tool] Check!

Phoebe:
Ooh, nice choice.

Prue Halliwell:
Thank you.

Phoebe:
Yeah, it's um, it's just we're more than excited that you and Leo decided to move back in... um, we sort of have to ask you to move back out again...

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Who are we to decide that they're witches?

Patty Halliwell:
Who are we decide that they're not?

Officer:
[Policeman at front door with Phoebe] Penny Halliwell?

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Can I find out what she did before I answer that?

Phoebe:
Here, they're just a little bit out of my budget.

Shoe Salesman:
But they're...

Phoebe:
Perfect! I know... and all of these would have been perfect too...

Phoebe:
I'm not sure what my future holds, but it's not in San Francisco. The only thing I add to this threesome is trouble.

Phoebe:
And why would I spend my time on a wimp who's got mother issues?

Prue Halliwell:
I don't know. But why should I believe anything that you say? I mean, you don't even know the difference between what belongs to you and what belongs to, oh, let's say Macy's.

Piper Halliwell:
[In the middle again] Alrighty then. Are we done?

Phoebe:
So, how bout those 9ers?

Cole:
The what?

Phoebe:
The 9ers, the 49ers, the football team. [pause] You don't follow football? [laughs] He isn't human.

Cole:
[Cole chokes on the water he's drinking]

Phoebe:
You okay?

Cole:
Check!

Phoebe:
Uh, you know what, uh, is there something wrong?

Cole:
No.

Phoebe:
It's just you haven't said anything since we left the restaurant.

Cole:
A lot on my mind, I guess.

Phoebe:
Work?

Cole:
Yea, sort of. [pause] I don't know how to say this...

Phoebe:
Uh-oh. Don't ever start a sentence like that with a girl... [pause] You don't want to see me anymore? Right? Never accept a lunch date.

Cole:
It's got nothing to do with you. I mean, how I feel about you.

Phoebe:
I don't understand.

Cole:
It's complicated.

Phoebe:
I think that I deserve to know.

Cole:
I promise you'll understand soon, maybe more than you'd want to.

Piper:
You were at Cole's all night?

Phoebe:
Uh huh.

Piper:
Did you?

Phoebe:
Uh huh.

Piper:
Was he?

Phoebe:
Uh huh.

Father Thomas:
There's nothing you can do. It will find us, and when it does we're all dead.

Piper:
Well, you're just a ray of sunshine now, aren't ya?

Prue:
Whoa, I haven't felt anything like that since Andy was alive.

Phoebe:
[sighing] I have a date with Cole.

Prue:
You say that like it's a bad thing.

Phoebe:
It's a lunch date.

Prue:
So?

Phoebe:
So... it's not a good sign. Lunch is a cheap imitation of dinner. That's why it has its own special menu.

Piper:
I know, but if I had introduced you as my fianc?, she would've asked how we met, when are we getting married, where the hell my ring is... questions that I can't answer now, can I?

Leo Wyatt:
I suppose that's how I became a doctor too.

Piper:
Leo, that's what you were. Look, what am I supposed to tell people? That's I'm engaged to a Whitelighter? Sometimes being magical kind of takes the magic right out of things.

Prue:
Well, he sure sounds like an innocent to me.

Leo Wyatt:
It'd be a shame to lose a future empath and all the good he'll do.

Prue:
I care less about his afterlife than his current one. I know what it's like to receive a power that you just do not understand.

Leader of the Order:
I find your lack of faith... disturbing.

Piper Halliwell:
What, What's going on, who is this?

Paige Matthews:
Well, uhh this is your birthday present... haha... from me, although you know Phoebe helped

Piper Halliwell:
The breakfast?

Paige Matthews:
Noo, the muchacho

Piper Halliwell:
haha, wait, you what, you, you hired a guy for your birthday?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, we would never hire a guy for your birthday.

Paige Matthews:
We MADE him... Magically

Phoebe Halliwell:
uhh, you know what this is Paige's present for you, mines the surprise birthday party

Piper:
Wow. You're like Macgyver with estrogen.

Dan Gordon:
Thanks.

Dan Gordon:
There's a good boy.

Prue:
Yes he is.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Who would bring a baby to a police station?

Darryl Morris:
It was abandoned. Now, look, Phoebe...

Phoebe Halliwell:
Abandoned? That's awful.

Darryl Morris:
That's why they call it a crime.

[Jack finds Prue at a store shopping for baby supplies]

Prue:
[surprised] What are you doing here?

Jack Sheridan:
[on an electric scooter] Getting my ass kicked by a five year old.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, don't tell me we're stuck in the doll house again

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, this seems to be an annual event for you

Phoebe:
[Piper and Phoebe chiding Billie about casting a love spell on Phoebe and Dex, which caused them to marry]

Billie Jenkins:
Yeah, I still don't know what I did was so bad!

Phoebe:
[Indicating about her wedding ring] This, this is what's bad!

Piper:
[Sees Phoebe's ring] Whoa! Hey! Wow, that's huge!

Phoebe:
Pfft.

Paige Matthews:
Okay, wait. I think maybe we should slow this down a little.

Whit:
Whew. You're right. I'm sorry.

Paige Matthews:
No, I'm sorry.

Whit:
Whew. Why don't you tell me a little more about yourself?

Paige Matthews:
Well, I. Screw it!

Whit:
God, you're beautiful, Jo. [Paige freezes] What's the matter?

Paige Matthews:
[Paige sees Jo in the mirror] I can't do this.

Whit:
Okay. Okay. Was it something I said?

Paige Matthews:
No. Absolutely not. It's not you. I'm sorry. [Paige leaves]

Billie Jenkins:
Hear these words, hear my rhyme, bless these two in this time, bring them both into the fold, help them now cross love's threshold.

Dex Lawson:
I love you, Mrs. Lawson.

Phoebe:
Oh, say it again

Dex Lawson:
Mrs. Lawson.

Phoebe:
I love it.

Dex Lawson:
Uh - wait. I have to carry my bride across the threshold, don't I?

Phoebe:
Ohh! [Pheobe carried across the threshold]

Dex Lawson:
[Dex looks around confused and drops Phoebe] Wha...? Oh, what happened?

Phoebe:
Well, you dropped me. That's what happened!

Dex Lawson:
Look, I'm sorry.

Phoebe:
You should be sorry.

Dex Lawson:
Wha...? Why was I just carrying you?

Phoebe:
What are you wearing? What am I wearing? [Looks at wedding ring] Oh!

Dex Lawson:
Did we just do what I think we just did?

Phoebe:
You... and just... I need a...

Billie Jenkins:
Well, can't we just vanquish him?

Piper:
Billie, we don't usually vanquish humans.

Billie Jenkins:
[referring to the human ADA] Can't we vanquish him?

Piper:
We don't usually vanquish humans.

Piper:
I think the only way to save Maya is to get him to confess to the murder somehow.

Paige Matthews:
Oh, that happens before or after hell freezes over?

Maya:
Sorry I kicked you in the face.

Billie Jenkins:
Well, I'm sorry we almost got you killed.

Piper:
Hurry, get the mattress.

Paige Matthews:
What if it doesn't work?

Piper:
Well, then it was a bad idea.

Paige Matthews:
Don't worry, we'll have you out of that unflattering colour in no time!

Piper:
How are we supposed to trust them when they don't answer our questions?

Leo:
Leo says nothing

Piper:
Hey Lady! I'm tryin' to make a good impression here. Put it down! Put it down! Put it down!

Paige Matthews:
[takes a bite of what looks like crumb cake and with a mouthful responds] On the nannies?

Piper:
Yeah. I want the best. And the best don't work for slobs.

Paige Matthews:
We are not slobs!

Piper:
Oh really? How come I spent all night cleaning potion stains off of the ceiling?

Paige Matthews:
That's gazpacho not potion.

Piper:
Well you know what, blenders have lids.

Paige Matthews:
[She's talking with Phoebe by cell phone, about why San Francisco is upset] Besides, everybody in San Francisco is too odd, that's why we fit in so well!

Tracer Demon:
[upon seeing that Phoebe wounded herself when she wounded the killer from her dream] Man, would Freud have a field day with this or what?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm Phoebe, Mr. Turner's new wife.

Leo Wyatt:
Yeah. No, no. Don't let Wyatt see.

Piper Halliwell:
Honey, why don't you go upstairs?

Leo Wyatt:
Mommy and daddy are fine.

Piper Halliwell:
Sweetie, what's the matter? What is he doing?

Leo Wyatt:
What just happened?

Piper Halliwell:
[sees large Wyatt outside dollhouse window] Uh-oh.

Elise Rothman:
This time, *I*'ve got a family emergency, which means I need you to get the evening edition out.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? What about Dillard? Isn't he your number two guy?

Elise Rothman:
Richard is out sick.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, but I'm just an advice columnist. I mean, surely you're skipping some rungs on the ladder here.

Elise Rothman:
Don't sell yourself short, Phoebe. I have faith in you. Besides, you owe me. Just think of all the times I've covered for your family emergencies.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, but that was different.

Elise Rothman:
How so?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, because they were *my* emergencies.

[as Phoebe and Paige are spying on Zankou Phoebe's phone starts ringing and gives them away]

Paige Matthews:
Will you shut that freaking thing off?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm sorry, but you gotta admire the range, huh? We're in the underworld!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Let me ask you a question. Do we ever push the deadline for the evening edition?

Bauer:
No. Then it would be called the "sometime in the middle of the night" edition.

Paige Matthews:
What happened?

Leo Wyatt:
The Shadow couldn't choose between Zankou's evil or the Power of Three, so it went to the only neutral territory ... me.

Piper Halliwell:
A good witch is a clean witch.

Leo Wyatt:
The truth is I led you on to believe I was coming back.

Piper Halliwell:
Leo, you are back.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You don't need my help, Leo. You need a miracle.

Piper Halliwell:
Harry!

Harry:
Hey. You must be Pippy.

Piper Halliwell:
Piper, and...

Harry:
You know, your voice doesn't do justice. You're actually attractive.

Piper Halliwell:
Maybe I should talk to Leo.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Sure. Hold on a second. [sees Leo floating while working on chandelier]

Leo Wyatt:
Phoebe!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Let me call you back

Leo Wyatt:
Phoebe wait. I can explain.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You are a warlock, aren't you?

Leo Wyatt:
No. Wait. Wait. Wait. Think about it. If I was a warlock and I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have done it the last time I was here?

Phoebe Halliwell:
OK. Good point, but still most normal handymen use ladders to fix chandeliers. Are you a witch?

Leo Wyatt:
no.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Then what are you?

Leo Wyatt:
Um...

Phoebe Halliwell:
I mean up until today, I thought you were a handyman and now I find out that you're a...

Leo Wyatt:
White lighter.

Phoebe Halliwell:
A white lighter. What exactly is a white lighter?

Leo Wyatt:
Well, we're really just messengers. Guides. Think of us as guardian angels for good witches. Your tea is cold.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Ow. Well, you are handy. So all this time you knew who we really were?

Leo Wyatt:
Yeah. I was sent to watch over you and your sisters when you first got your powers. You know help out wherever I could.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Sent by who?

Leo Wyatt:
Whom. They're a group of elder white lighters. They're known as the founders. You were never supposed to find out. I screwed up and got caught.

Leo Wyatt:
In the meantime, you must help me keep my secret or I could get into trouble. Piper and Prue can never know what I really am.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Me? Keep a secret? Hello? Wrong Halliwell. Wait, you have to tell Piper because if I know her, she's gonna think that... ,

Leo Wyatt:
I know. I know. And that's where I need your help. See?White lighters and witches aren't allowed to fall in love. It's like humans and angels aren't. But I did. I fell in love with Piper.

Phoebe Halliwell:
And I know how much she cares about you.

Leo Wyatt:
It isn't fair to keep her in the dark, but I have to keep this secret. So somehow I have to tell Piper that I can never see her again and I can't tell her why.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You don't need my help Leo. You need a miracle.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay. Okay. You don't have to beat it out of me. Leo is a Whitelighter. They're sort of guardian angels for witches. And they're not supposed to get involved with witches. But Leo couldn't help it. He fell in love with you and that broke all the rules and got him in all sorts of trouble. And even though he'll love you forever you will probably never see him again.

Piper Halliwell:
What? Phoebe, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Oh god. Don't be so silly.

Phoebe Halliwell:
That's me. Silly.

Prue Halliwell:
And I realize that I do want kids. I think that I'd make a great mom.

Phoebe Halliwell:
So did you save Max or did Max save you?

Piper:
Read my lips! Is there anything in here that will get our senses back?

Phoebe:
Piper, I can't hear you!

Piper:
Uh! What do we do?

Paige:
[Holding a sign that says:] Kill Monkey

Phoebe:
Paige is proposing violence against the monkey.

Piper:
Well, I'm inclined to agree, but I really think the monkey is the least of our worries.

Phoebe:
Yeah, I didn't hear what you just said, but if you're wondering who's behind this, I was about to look in the book.

Piper:
[Thumbs up]

Phoebe:
You killed Aunt Pearl's couch!

Piper:
But did I get the Kazi?

Nate Parks:
[to Paige] You dated a guy called "Bobby Maynard"?

Phoebe:
Yeah, ok. You're a monkey. Ohh, you're an angry monkey. Oh, you're pissed. You're PMS monkey?

Piper:
Where are you? Ow! Who put that there?

Phoebe:
Oh, my god! Piper, you're blind!

Piper:
Yeah, Phoebe, I just said that. Now can we talk about how a monkey could do that?

Phoebe:
What did she say?

Piper:
What did who say? The monkey? The monkey didn't say anything. He covered my eyes and stole my eyesight.

Paige:
[Paige writes] How?

Phoebe:
I think the monkey stole your eyesight when he covered your eyes.

Piper:
Phoebe, are you listening to me? That's just what I said. Are you acting like you can't even hear me?

Phoebe:
Oh, Piper, it's no use. I can't even hear you. The monkey stole my hearing.

Piper:
Oh, he got you, too. Which means somebody sent that flea-infested primate after us. We've got to find Paige.

Phoebe:
[Paige claps] Why are you clapping? This is not funny.

Phoebe:
What's the matter, Paige?

Piper:
Paige? Where's Paige?

Leo Wyatt:
What's going on? [Paige coves her mouth. Phoebe covers her ears. Piper covers her eyes] I see.

Piper:
Well, I don't! Where is Paige?

Leo Wyatt:
Uh, she just can't talk.

Phoebe:
Excuse me! This is either someone's sick, sick joke or someone's working on a massive evil plan!

Paige:
[points paper pad facing Kazi demon, which reads] "Where's our Whitelighter?"

Phoebe:
[glances at Kazi Demon, then at Paige] Hey, do you ever think that maybe your Kazi buddy here can't read?

Kazi Demon:
I tried to tell her that.

Phoebe:
He did?

Paige:
[writes on paper pad] "Demons Lie!"

Phoebe:
Yeah, but not about literacy. Kazi warriors are base-level demons.

Darla:
Congratulations, Prue. Your days of having trouble with men are over. See you at tonight's mixer?

Prue Halliwell:
Okay, you know, for your information, I do not have man troubles. Financial ones, now, yes. But definitely not man troubles. [Phoebe walks in]

Phoebe Halliwell:
We're out of here.

Prue Halliwell:
She... you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay... it's okay... it's all right.

Prue Halliwell:
I don't. Honestly. [to Phoebe] Tell her.

Piper Halliwell:
It's not that hard. Just try to emulate a man you admire.

Prue Halliwell:
Okay.

[Prue experiments with walking like a man and then does a girlie turn at the end]

Piper Halliwell:
The man you admire is Richard Simmons?

Piper Halliwell:
[to Prue] Looks like you learned a few things about being a woman by being a man!

Prue Halliwell:
I am wearing clothes from the ex-boyfriends pile. I have hair in strange places. And I have a penis!

Piper Halliwell:
Sweet dreams... don't kill anyone!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Cabaret Fantome, deadly fire. Maybe Darryl's friend isn't so crazy after all. The Count's club was the biggest, most corrupt in the city. Right until it burned down, killing everyone inside.

Abbey:
No, you're wrong, Abbey's gone forever. She's a loser and you're a winner. And now I'm gonna be a winner too. As soon as I take care of you. Did you like the dead roses I sent you? Huh? Do you even know I was the one who broke into your house. I have to be you. Oh, I love wearing your clothes, your things. Makes me wanna be you even more. Beautiful, successful, loved by men.

Piper Halliwell:
What am I supposed to think? The last two times they orbed him out was right in the middle of it.

Phoebe Halliwell:
So what does he say?

Piper Halliwell:
He swears they're not watching, but he's a guy - he'll say anything. The point is I think they're watching, and when I think, I can't, I can't, I can't concentrate.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Hmm, well, at least you have the option to concentrate. If Cole and I continue this flirting tango thing, I'm gonna have to start concentrating on myself.

Leo Wyatt:
Wow, you are amazing when you concentrate.

Piper Halliwell:
And stop worrying about them? [looks up skyward] I hope you enjoyed the show.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I don't know, I don't know. One minute I was telling him why my paper was late, the next thing I knew was... unzipping his pants with my teeth.

Prue Halliwell:
Hello? Gluttony, table for one.

Prue Halliwell:
Okay, how did you get this stuff so fast?

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, I just let my fingers do the walking and the clicking and the... flipping.

Prue Halliwell:
Flipping as in the pages of the Book of Shadows? You used magic?

Piper Halliwell:
Well, yeah, I couldn't wait six to eight weeks for delivery.

Prue Halliwell:
That is so personal gain.

Piper Halliwell:
No, 'cause we need all of this stuff.

Prue Halliwell:
Hey, be nice, I don't even want to think about sin tonight.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Me neither.

Prue Halliwell:
So this is a pretty interesting band, what's their name?

Piper Halliwell:
Orgy.

Prue Halliwell:
Alright, we don't have much time...

Piper Halliwell:
Shh! I'm on the phone with Bloomingdales. Oh, okay, um, well, then I'm gonna have to split that on two credit cards. You can put $5000 on the card that's on file, and the re-- What are you doing?

Prue Halliwell:
Uh, saving your life or at least your credit rating, which is your life.

Piper Halliwell:
Excuse me, Leo needs suits.

Prue Halliwell:
Leo doesn't wear suits.

Piper Halliwell:
Yet.

Prue Halliwell:
A-a-are you drinking in the middle of the day?

Piper Halliwell:
I was a little bummed about this sin thing, so I thought I deserved a little indulgence. Would you like a bit of bubbly?

Prue Halliwell:
No, I would like a little bit of help. We are supposed to be tracking down Lucas.

Piper Halliwell:
Sorry. Catch me up.

Piper Halliwell:
Kiss this b*tch.

[goes to blow up a demon but instead creates a heap of flowers instead]

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, bad baby

Leo:
Oh God not the crying thing.

Piper:
[tearfully] Leo, my powers are out of whack, the only person who can explain what's going on is never around and this house is demon central. Add that to nausea and constant breast pains and I am perfectly entitled to do the crying thing.

Leo:
The baby is probably just upset by all the arguing.

Piper:
Leo, the baby is an inch long. All this arguing is upsetting the mommy.

[after Wyatt magically switches Piper and Leo's powers]

Leo:
[in discomfort] Are your b*obs always this sore?

Piper:
Now that I've been five inches tall, I'll never complain about my height again

Paige Matthews:
Okay, have you guys ever walked by a house and just got a really bad creepy feeling from it? Okay, on my way to get coffee every morning I walk by this house and I get this shiver.

Piper:
I really think that when you've been a witch for a few months, you'll know the difference between sensing evil and needing a warmer jacket.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[shrinks to five inches tall] Ah-oh!

Piper:
Okay, good. Now that he's gone, I can focus on getting us out of here. Although, I do have to tell you I am not having the best day of my life. It began with an interview where a woman made me feel this big, and now I actually am this big. And next up is being baked. Well, that's just a round about of saying don't panic. I'm going to get us out of here. I'm going to turn this day around.

Piper:
Do not go into that house. Did you hear me? I said do not go in! It is like talking to a wall.

Leo Wyatt:
She's got the Halliwell hearing.

Piper:
Could he be hiding our sister Phoebe there?

Finn:
No, he probably shrunk her.

Piper:
I'm sorry. He probably what?

Finn:
Oh, that's what he does. He takes his wand and shrinks the women for his collection.

Piper:
At least we came for you. [Phoebe groans] Phoebe, Paige and I are here now. We have the power of three. Can you say a spell? [Phoebe moans] Okay. We'll figure this out. Paige, let's go over our options.

Paige Matthews:
Opts? We have two.We're screwed and we're more screwed.

Piper:
We don't need negativity. We need solutions.

Paige Matthews:
Well, I'm sorry. I've never been shrunk and covered in clay before.

Piper:
Hey! You wanted to be partners so work with me here. Okay? Are you right? We are screwed.

Paige Matthews:
Can't you blast your way out of it?

Piper:
I tried. I can't move my hands.

Paige Matthews:
I could call for something, but what would help? What's the point of having powers if you can't use them.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Piper freeze him.

Piper:
Oh, he's way too big for my tiny magic.

Piper:
The power of point three.

Paige Matthews:
He doesn't have a belly button

Cole:
Is there something wrong Phoebe? Something you're not telling me.

Phoebe:
Don't you think you have that backwards?

Cole:
Meaning?

Phoebe:
Well, you're the one with all the secrets, right?

Cole:
Am I? You sure about that?

Phoebe:
I don't know what I'm sure about anymore.

Cole:
Yea, I know how you feel.

Phoebe:
I doubt that.

Cole:
I think I know what's going on here Phoebe and I'm sorry its come to this. But I'm not sorry about us. You need to know that.

Phoebe:
You never told me where you were from.

Cole:
You never asked.

Phoebe:
I'm asking now.

Cole:
Why don't you ask me what you really want to know Phoebe. I won't lie to you.

Phoebe:
Who are you?

[Prue is confronting a demon]

Krell:
I'm Krell, a Xotar.

Prue Halliwell:
I'm Prue, a Scorpio.

Krell:
Just the thought of working with you turns my stomachs.

Piper Halliwell:
Stomachs?

Inspector Reece Davidson:
And you are?

Phoebe:
Phoebe.

Inspector Reece Davidson:
Is that like a Cher, or a Madonna, or do you have a last name?

Piper:
How about next time I just freeze your head and then maybe I could kick you in the...

Prue:
Ok.

Prue:
Pig's feet.

Piper:
Yuck...

Prue:
Yuck?

Piper:
Yuck...

Prue:
So you can slice off a chunk of demon flesh but you can't touch a pig's foot?

Piper:
I'm a vegetarian.

Prue:
Since when?

Piper:
Since now...

[Cooking pot bursts into flames]

Prue:
Ooh...

Piper:
Poor piggy.

FBI Agent Kyle Brody:
With all the scrapes that I've slipped out of, it's the only reason I think why I'm still alive. My guess is that's the power the dark figure wants. People have, especially strong protectors. That explains why someone would miraculously survive something and in the next moment, don't. What?

Phoebe Halliwell:
We're the protectors of the innocent, we're known as the Charmed Ones.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Let me ask you something, Morris. Do you believe in UFO's?

Darryl Morris:
Hell no.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Neither do I. But do you believe that there are people out there who do believe in UFO's?

Darryl Morris:
Yes, but I think they're crazy.

Piper Halliwell:
What are we going to do?

Phoebe Halliwell:
What can't we do?

Prue Halliwell:
We are going to be careful, we're going to be wise, and we're going to stick together.

Piper Halliwell:
This should be interesting.

Prue Halliwell:
You two will not be laughing when this happens to you. Believe me, everything'll be different now.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, at least our lives won't be boring.

Prue Halliwell:
But they'll never be the same.

Phoebe Halliwell:
And this is a bad thing?

Prue Halliwell:
I'm calling the cops.

Piper Halliwell:
And tell them what? That we're witches? That some creep with powers beyond comprehension is trying to kill us?

[after the lights went out]

Prue Halliwell:
Don't worry. We'll be safe here.

Piper Halliwell:
Don't say that. In horror movies, the people that say that are always the next to die.

Piper Halliwell:
To my three beautiful girls. May this give you the light to find the Shadows. The power of three will set you free. Love, mom. We never did figure out what this inscription meant.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I never touched Roger.

Prue Halliwell:
Whoa!

Phoebe Halliwell:
I know you think otherwise, because that's what that Armani- wearing, Chardonnay-slugging trust-funder told you. But...

Piper Halliwell:
Hey! I have a great idea. Why don't I make a fabulous reunion dinner?

Prue Halliwell:
I'm not hungry!

Phoebe Halliwell:
I ate on the bus.

Piper Halliwell:
O.K. We'll try the group hug later!

Piper Halliwell:
It doesn't matter because nothing happened... Right, Phoebe?... when you did the incantation?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, my head spun around, and I vomited split pea soup. How should I know?

Piper Halliwell:
This? Do what this?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Receive our powers.

Piper Halliwell:
What powers? Wait. Our powers? You included me in this?

Prue Halliwell:
No, she included all of us. Bring your powers to we sisters three. It's a book of witchcraft.

Piper Halliwell:
You're up early.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I never went to sleep.

Piper Halliwell:
Don't tell me you put on a black conical hat and spent the night flying around the neighborhood on a broomstick.

Phoebe Halliwell:
The only broom I've ever had was kept in a closet beside a mop.

Roger:
I could hardly say no to the entire Board of Directors, could I? But I know you'll be happy for me. After all, what's good for me is definitely good for you. Right, Miss Halliwell?

Prue Halliwell:
Miss Halliwell? Since when did we stop being on a first name basis? When we stopped sleeping together or when I returned your engagement ring, Roger?

Roger:
I didn't realize the two were mutually exclusive; although I certainly enjoyed one more than the other.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Hear now the words of the witches, the secrets we hid in the night. The oldest of gods are invoked here. Great work of magic is sought. In this night and in this hour, I call upon the ancient power. Bring your powers to we sisters three. We want the power. Give us the power.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm not afraid of our powers. I mean, everyone inherits something from their family, right?

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, money, antiques, a strong disposition. That's what normal people inherit.

Prue Halliwell:
Look, I have just found out that I am a witch, that my sisters are witches, and that we have powers that will apparently unleash all forms of evil. Evil that is apparently going to come looking for us. So if you excuse me, Phoebe, but I'm not exactly in a homeopathic mood right now.

Prue Halliwell:
Phoebe, I do not have special powers. Now where is the cream? [cream moves down counter]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Really? That looks pretty special to me.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, my God! So I can move things with my mind?

Phoebe Halliwell:
With how much you hold inside you should be a lethal weapon by now.

Prue Halliwell:
I don't believe it!

Phoebe Halliwell:
This must mean that Piper can freeze time. [Prue downs Phoebe's drink] Are you ok?

Prue Halliwell:
No, I'm not O.K! You've turned me into a witch!

Phoebe Halliwell:
You were born one. We all were. And I think we better start learning to deal with that.

Jeremy Burns:
You are going to love this. I bet you tell Phoebe and Prue the moment you see them.

Piper Halliwell:
I never mentioned Phoebe came home.

Jeremy Burns:
OOPS! [takes out knife]

Piper Halliwell:
What is that?

Jeremy Burns:
It's your surprise!

Piper Halliwell:
Jeremy, stop it. You're scaring me. Damn it, I'm serious!

Jeremy Burns:
So am I! See, I've waited six months for this. Ever since Grams went to the hospital. You see, I've known for quite some time that the moment the old witch croaked that all your powers would be released, powers that would reveal themselves as soon as the three of you got together again. All that was needed was for Phoebe to return.

Jeremy Burns:
Cool parlor trick, b*tch. Yeah, you were always the tough one, weren't you, Prue? Huh?

Jeremy Burns:
I'm one of millions... in places you can't even imagine, in forms you would never believe. We are hell on this earth! You will never be safe, and you will never be... free!

Piper Halliwell:
That was Andy. I told you I heard a man's voice. What did he want?

Prue Halliwell:
He asked me out.

Piper Halliwell:
And you said?

Prue Halliwell:
Well, I started to say yes, but then I stopped. I wondered if I could date. I mean, do witches date?

Piper Halliwell:
Not only do they date, but they usually get the best guys.

Prue Halliwell:
You two won't be laughing when this happens to you. Believe me, everything'll be different now.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, at least our lives won't be boring!

Prue Halliwell:
But they'll never be the same.

Phoebe Halliwell:
And this is a bad thing?

Prue Halliwell:
No, but it could be a big problem.

Piper Halliwell:
Prue's right. What are we going to do?

Phoebe Halliwell:
What can't we do?

Prue Halliwell:
We are going to be careful. We're going to be wise. And we're going to stick together.

Piper Halliwell:
This should be interesting. [the sisters walk into the Manor and Prue magically closes the door]

Piper Halliwell:
You know how we've been talking about what to do with that spare room? I think you're right. We do need a roommate.

Prue Halliwell:
Well, we could rent out the room at a reduced rate in exchange for help around the house.

Piper Halliwell:
Phoebe's good with a wrench.

Prue Halliwell:
Phoebe lives in New York.

Piper Halliwell:
Not anymore.

Prue Halliwell:
What?

Piper Halliwell:
She left New York. She's moving back in with us.

Prue Halliwell:
You've got to be kidding.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, I could hardly say no. It's her house, too. It was willed to all of us.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, months ago and we haven't seen or spoken to her since.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, you haven't spoken to her.

Prue Halliwell:
No, I haven't. Look, maybe you've forgotten why I'm so mad at her.

Piper Halliwell:
No, of course not, but she had nowhere else to go. She lost her job, she's in debt.

Prue Halliwell:
And this is news? How long have you known about this anyway?

Piper Halliwell:
A couple of days. Maybe a week... or two.

Prue Halliwell:
Thanks for sharing. When does she arrive?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Surprise! I found the hide-a-key.

[in the pharmacy, Phoebe is trying to prove that Prue's power is tied to her emotions]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad.

[everything along the aisle flies off the shelves]

Piper Halliwell:
[seeing her boyfriend Jeremy on the news] What happened?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, some woman got whacked.

Piper Halliwell:
"Whacked"? Phoebe, you've been in New York way too long.

[Piper and Phoebe play with their old spirit board]

Phoebe Halliwell:
I forgot your question.

Piper Halliwell:
I asked if Prue was going to have sex with someone other than herself this year.

Phoebe Halliwell:
That's disgusting.

[under her breath, as Piper heads towards the kitchen]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Please say "yes."

New Piper:
What's going on?

Leo Wyatt:
What? I don't know.

New Phoebe:
Boy, sure hope nobody died in there.

Leo Wyatt:
What? Do we know each other?

New Piper:
Yeah. I think so. After all we're married.

Leo Wyatt:
What? [Halliwell sisters appear]

Piper Halliwell:
Shh, shh, shh. It's all part of the plan.

Leo Wyatt:
Plan? What plan?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Our plan to die. It's the only way to get our lives back. Our normal lives.

Piper Halliwell:
And stop everybody from coming after us, including all of them.

Leo Wyatt:
But?

Piper Halliwell:
No buts. We're free. Nobody even knows we're alive anymore, not even the demons.

Paige Matthews:
They think we died in there with Zankou. They were just our astral selves.

Piper Halliwell:
Sweetie, we've got a clean slate. We can start all over again. No more demon fighting ever again.

Paige Matthews:
Unless the demons figure it out.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Which may be never.

Leo Wyatt:
I don't know what to say.

Piper Halliwell:
Just say you're okay with it.

Phoebe Halliwell:
So we can get the next generation ready to pick up where we left off.

Leo Wyatt:
How do I do it?

Piper Halliwell:
You don't. We do.

Paige Matthews:
Don't worry. We'll make you good-looking. [they all change into their new disguises]

New Piper:
Cute. I can live with that.

Darryl Morris:
[Darryl sees three women and one man walk away as one of the women smile at him] Well, all right. [manor door closes] All right.

Kahn:
What will be your first move? Once you possess it [the power of the Nexus] I mean?

Zankou:
I don't know. I'll have full access to the Book of Shadows, of course, which means I'll have ultimate power. [pause] I hope I don't get bored.

[Piper and Phoebe are trying to find a spell to use against Zankou]

Phoebe Halliwell:
How about a love spell? We could make him fall for one of us.

Piper Halliwell:
[scoffs] Sorry, I'm taken.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, well I'm not.

Piper Halliwell:
But you're not that desperate. [pause] Are you?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Hmm, those demons do have a way of keeping you warm at night.

Piper Halliwell:
Yeah, but that's only because they have fireballs.

Piper Halliwell:
Wasn't there a confidence spell in the Book of Shadows?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, remember we cast it on that waiter at Quake?

[Piper's eyes widen]

Piper Halliwell:
Wow. Quake. That was a long time ago.

Zahn:
Tonight, I have a special treat for yoy. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to purchase one of the most unique souls there is or ever was. A Charmed One, ladies and Demons.

Leo Wyatt:
What is that? A time portal, is that what that is? What are you using it for?

Chris Halliwell:
I don't have to answer that.

Leo Wyatt:
Though you said you had nothing to hide?

Chris Halliwell:
I don't have to answer that either.

Paige Matthews:
About what the doctor said. That it's gonna be a healthy baby.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, I know he's healthy. I've seen him twenty-two and walking around.

Paige Matthews:
[to Piper] No wonder Chris grows up to be such a neurotic little freak.

Paige Matthews:
[Piper and Paige are talking about Chris] Well, you never know something could happen.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, don't be such a worry wart. Now you're starting to sound like-

Chris Halliwell:
[Chris orbs in] Hey.

Piper Halliwell:
Chris.

Chris Halliwell:
No, no, no. I was just wondering how it went with the doctor.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, you'll be happy to know that you're a boy.

Chris Halliwell:
[smirks] That's not what I meant.

Paige Matthews:
[looking at the Ultra-Sound photo] I don't see it.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh see, it's this little thing right here-

Chris Halliwell:
[grabbing the photo] Woah, excuse me! Do you mind?!

Chris Halliwell:
[talking about Wyatt's force field while Piper was pregnant with him] Wait, you had a force field with Wyatt, but not with me?

Piper Halliwell:
Well, I didn't have one. He had one. It was all his doing.

Chris Halliwell:
[huffs] From the womb! He had powers from the womb! That's unbelievable! It's not like I don't have an inferiority complex with him all ready! Thank you.

Piper Halliwell:
[asking Paige] Did you find that demon yet?

Leo:
Dammit!

Paige:
Are Elders even allowed to swear?

Leo:
No... but fathers are - especially one whose kid tries to kill him!

Paige:
Well, technically you can't die.

Leo:
That's not the point!

The Brunette:
I can't believe how many leprechauns are at my urn.

Brown-Haired Woman:
They always had the hots for you.

The Brunette:
It's a little creepy, but I guess you can't be too picky when you're dead!

The Brunette:
Piper, what are you doing?

Brown-Haired Woman:
What are you doing? You can't pick up on a guy at a funeral!

The Brunette:
Why not? It's my funeral!

[about a fireball a demon is holding]

Billie Jenkins:
Doesn't that burn your hand?

[Janice Dickinson is led into the kitchen by The Brunette and Brown-Haired Woman]

Paige:
[magically disguised as Janice Dickinson] What is the meaning of this? Do you have any idea who I am?

The Brunette:
Yeah, as a matter of fact we do...

[the Brunette glamors into Phoebe]

Phoebe:
Paige.

Paige:
I'm sorry, who?

[the Brown-Haired Woman glamors into Piper]

Piper Halliwell:
Nice try. Jig's up.

Paige:
Oh, all right then, fine.

[Janice glamors into Paige]

Paige:
Well, someone had to cry at my funeral, didn't they?

Phoebe:
You wanted a normal life more than all of us, right? So what's changed all of a sudden?

Piper Halliwell:
I'm a little neurotic. What do you want from me?

Angel of Death:
You don't understand. People have to die in order, according to my list. Otherwise, the cosmic balance is thrown off.

Mordaunt:
It's simply a transfer of power, that's all. And now, all that remains to do is to eliminate the true recipient of Excalibur before he grows old enough to fulfill his Destiny as the Son of a Charmed One.

Paige Matthews:
Prue was this awesome witch with a full-time job, and I quit my job to be a full-time witch, and I still haven't reached her level yet, which makes me feel incredibly frustrated and lame.

Prue Halliwell:
Um, hi. You must be Mr. Wyatt.

Phoebe Halliwell:
The handyman?

Leo Wyatt:
Call me Leo.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Gladly.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I just read from the book, and wham - I am Tabitha.

Victor Halliwell:
Always in a hurry, Prue. You skipped crawling and went straight to walking.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, we're sharing memories. Well, I've got one of my own - your back walking out the door.

Piper Halliwell:
Okay, we have to call the cops and report it as a break-in.

Prue Halliwell:
And tell them what? That someone broke into our house to try and steal our broomsticks?

Piper Halliwell:
I wonder why he went to you first. I mean, why not Phoebe or me?

Prue Halliwell:
Piper, it's not like I won the lotto.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Prue's party tips; meet, greet and bail.

Prue Halliwell:
Where did you get this ring? What did you say your name was?

Victor Halliwell:
I think you know what my name is... Prudence.

Prue Halliwell:
Get out! [Throws the ring] And stay away from us!

Victor Halliwell:
I'm staying at the Ballmark. What do you say you and your sisters join me for dinner? Let's say tomorrow night. We can talk.

Prue Halliwell:
After how you abandoned us? How dare you.

Victor Halliwell:
Fiery temper. I like that. It reminds me of someone I know.

Prue Halliwell:
I am nothing like you. I would never leave my responsibilities, my family.

Victor Halliwell:
I can see we have some issues to work through.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, we've got the whole subscription. Now get out before I have you thrown out.

Victor Halliwell:
Is that anyway to talk to your father?

Prue Halliwell:
I know plenty. First someone rips off the attic door, then the Book Of Shadows is found downstairs. Isn't that enough?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, by myself before dinner and I had a premonition about dad when he hugged me. He was stealing the Book Of Shadows. Yeah, you were right about him, Prue. I didn't want the premonition to be true. I was hoping, praying that there was a perfectly good explanation for it. Hoping that, that he was really here to be with us. I just wanted him back in our lives. He's our dad.

Prue Halliwell:
No, Andy, I'm fine really. Dad's gonna be here any minute, so can I take a rain check on dinner? Okay, thanks for the good advice.

Prue Halliwell:
So he's dad now?

Prue Halliwell:
Yes, Phoebe, and by the way my dress looks good on you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I don't have any nice clothes, Prue.

Prue Halliwell:
Dad said it was casual.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I don't care. I wanna look nice for him. Who knows how long it'll be before we see him again.

Piper Halliwell:
You don't think he's gonna stay around?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, let's just say I no longer have a romanticised image of him. And I'm glad about that actually. At least dad is real now.

Piper:
Wait a sec. Last week we had no dad and now we have two?

Phoebe Halliwell:
The neighbors are shapeshifters.

Prue Halliwell:
Cop, witch - it's not a love connection.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Boy, girl. Lighten up.

Prue Halliwell:
What are we going to do when we see a bad guy?

Young Prue:
She's gonna cry. [referring to little Piper]

Young Piper:
Am not! I'm going to freeze him.

Young Prue:
And then I'm going to move him.

Prue Halliwell:
And we'll take care of him. Then what are we all going to do?

Young Piper:
[along with young Prue] Run like the wind!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Every time I've made a wish, I've wished for time with mom. And I believed in my heart that some day, some how, that wish would come true.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
You're going to be a handful, aren't you?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, you'll learn to adore me.

Nicholas:
The clock. I only heard five chimes. It's noon. That means you froze me. Which means you have your powers at last.

Piper Halliwell:
This can't be happening. I'm getting a migraine.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Better not. I don't think Advil's been invented yet. And apparently neither has this spell. It's not in here anywhere.

Prue Halliwell:
Hey.

Young Prue:
Hi. [points to freckle]

Prue Halliwell:
You got one too. Come here. [hugs]

Piper Halliwell:
I don't remember her working here.

Prue Halliwell:
Well, yeah, I mean, with dad gone, she had to pay the bills somehow. I remember she used to come home late at night, and she would kiss me, and she always smelled like burgers.

Piper Halliwell:
You're lucky. You have a lot more memories than I do.

Prue Halliwell:
Well, at least you have some. I mean, poor Phoebe, she doesn't have any.

Patty Halliwell:
Ready to order? [waits] Take your time. I'll come back.

Piper Halliwell:
No! Wait! We're ready. Aren't we, Pru ...

Prue Halliwell:
Uh, prunes. Um, prunes. She wants to know if you have any prunes.

Patty Halliwell:
Prunes? Sure. Yeah, I think so. I just started here. I'll go check.

Piper Halliwell:
This is gonna sound really weird, but we're actually your...

Prue Halliwell:
Cousins. From out of town.

Piper Halliwell:
Right. Cousins. And we, uh, we need to tell you something really important about the baby that you're carrying, sort of.

Patty Halliwell:
Not that this is any of your business, but I can't get pregnant anymore. Medically impossible. Excuse me.

Piper Halliwell:
Yeah, how do we not have powers? I mean, Little Prue and Little Piper, they have powers.

Prue Halliwell:
I don't know. Maybe only one set of us can have powers at the same time, in the same time?

Piper Halliwell:
Thank you, Mr. Spock.

Young Prue:
You came back.

Prue Halliwell:
Yes, we did. And we're gonna keep it a secret, right?

Young Prue:
Okay.

Prue Halliwell:
Okay.

Young Prue:
You're pretty.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh. So are you.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, give me a break.

Young Piper:
Grams said you're bad people.

Piper Halliwell:
No, no, no. We're good people. We're, uh, just like you.

Piper Halliwell:
Yeah. We're family.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
Well, let him go, I say. If husbands were supposed to stay married, god would've made them live longer.

Patty Halliwell:
Can't you just bake cookies with them like all the other grandmothers?

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
The recipes they learn from me don't come from Betty Crocker, dear.

Piper Halliwell:
Prue, we're not just stuck in jail, we're stuck in the past.

Prue Halliwell:
Yes, I know, Piper. I've been following.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Bright side?

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, I dare you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, maybe we could get to know mom better. Or in my case, finally. I mean, if we really are stuck here, we might as well take advantage of it, right? And maybe we could even keep her from dying young this time

Patty Halliwell:
How'd you know I was pregnant? Who are you people?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Your daughters.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
Where was I born?

Patty Halliwell:
Mom!

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
I'm still not convinced that they're not warlocks.

Prue Halliwell:
Boston. In a hotel room. Breech.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
What was my husband's name?

Prue Halliwell:
Which husband?

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
Who's Melinda Warren?

Phoebe Halliwell:
The beginning of our family line. She gave us our powers, our destiny.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
What's the secret ingredient in my blueberry cobbler?

Piper Halliwell:
Honey. And a splash of rum.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
What's IBM selling at in your time?

Patty Halliwell:
Mom!

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
Well, look at you. The three of you. Oh, Patty, I always knew that I would deliver The Charmed Ones. Uh, once removed, of course. Prue. Piper. And...

Phoebe Halliwell:
Phoebe!

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
What? Well, I unbound your powers without having broken the pact? Why would I do that? I mean, unless I died which, of course, would automatically... unbind your powers. [Grams stands up] Guess I'm not going to make it to the next millennium?

Piper Halliwell:
I'm never gonna learn to like lima beans, Grams, but thanks for everything else.

Prue Halliwell:
Oops.

Penny "Grams" Halliwell:
What happened?

Patty Halliwell:
Where did you go?

Piper Halliwell:
We didn't go anywhere. We were just standing here, and the next thing we knew ...

Phoebe Halliwell:
We were just standing here.

Patty Halliwell:
Little Prue and Piper have their powers, and Phoebe gave me a premonition, so she must have hers. If we can teach the girls the chant, maybe the three of us can get you back to your time.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You don't understand. Every time I've made a wish, I've wished for time with mom. And I believed in my heart that someday somehow that wish would come true, and when it finally did I didn't want to let her go. You know, but then I realized that I had to let her go. So I took the note out and I put it in my pocket.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Are you kidding? That is the best picture of me I've ever taken.

Young Prue:
[young Prue and young Piper are fighting over a doll] That's my doll!

Young Piper:
You gave it to me!

Young Prue:
No, I didn't, you stole it!

Prue Halliwell:
[whispering to Piper] That's true, you did steal it!

Piper Halliwell:
[whispering to Prue] I did not!

Prue Halliwell:
[whispering to Piper] Yes, you did!

Piper Halliwell:
I can't believe we got arrested for kidnapping ourselves.

Prue Halliwell:
It should make for a pretty interesting defense.

Piper Halliwell:
You think this is funny?

Piper:
What, I'm supposed to throw out perfectly good flowers 'cause they came from a creep? If that was the rule, we'd never have flowers in this house.

Prue Halliwell:
I suppose you just have one thousand dollars cash in your pocket.

Jack Sheridan:
Would you like to find out yourself?

Prue Halliwell:
No need. I can tell there's not much there just by looking.

Kyle Gwideon:
So, did you guys kick some butt or what?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Or what.

[about Kyle, the chosen one to defeat Tuatha]

Piper Halliwell:
But look at him! At his age he should be battling acne! Not evil witches!

Piper Halliwell:
Uh, look, we're kind of in a hurry, so cliff notes version. Demon killed Lady Godiva which changed history, we gotta fix it, so are you with me or what?

Piper Halliwell:
Talk to us about what?

Paige Matthews:
Is it my turn?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah.

Paige Matthews:
Yeah. Chris is your son.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Wyatt's brother. Look, I know this is huge.

Piper Halliwell:
No, it's not huge because it's not possible. It's crazy 'cause I'm not pregnant.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh.

Paige Matthews:
Yeah.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yes. Yes.

Piper Halliwell:
No, I'm not. I mean, how could that happen? I mean, I know how that could happen, but it... Oh, what am I gonna do?

Paige Matthews:
I can't believe how hard it is to get two people laid.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Paige, that is disgusting!

Paige Matthews:
Well, it's what we're trying to do, right?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, we are trying to romance Piper and Leo together so they can conceive Chris, our nephew.

Paige Matthews:
And that's different how?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well, because what you said is very Springer, what I said is very Oprah.

Piper Halliwell:
[about Wyatt] He was a really good boy and only made Mummy freeze the room once.

Clarence:
What you need is to get out of this hole. Get some sun, live a little.

Chris Halliwell:
Believe me, I'm trying.

Leo Wyatt:
We've been through a lot more than this.

Piper Halliwell:
Have we?

Leo Wyatt:
Are you kidding? Ever since we met it's been one ordeal after the other.

Piper Halliwell:
Wow, you make it sound *so* romantic.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Somebody's got a bunch of Darklighters after us and one of them's got Piper and Leo trapped.

Paige Matthews:
In the ghostly plane.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Or the spirit realm.

Gideon:
Same thing.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Right. We made contact with them but then we lost them.

Paige Matthews:
And we lost Chris too, although we're not sure why because she can tell if Piper's dead.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, and I can't.

Paige Matthews:
So she must still be around somewhere, we just don't know where.

Phoebe Halliwell:
So we need to figure out how to use the Darklighter's portal to get them out.

Paige Matthews:
And if you follow all that, you really are a *very* powerful Elder.

Piper:
[shouts] Phoebe? Paige? Where's my car? What's going on? Where did everybody go?

Leo Wyatt:
That's a good question.

Piper:
Well, they've got to be here somewhere.

Leo Wyatt:
I think we should get out of here.

Piper:
Well-Uh, no! Not without Phoebe. She's hurt - didn't you see her fall?

Leo Wyatt:
Yeah... but at least she's alive.

Piper:
What is that supposed to mean?

Leo Wyatt:
I don't know; *but* I think we need to get off the street while we figure this out.

Paige:
These were mine and now they're yours. Chain mail top from my club days. Steel toed boots from my mosh pit days. Handcuffs, from last Friday.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[Talking to Paige about the geese while Pipers on bed rest] If we can't protect her from geese, how will we protect her from demons?

Victor Bennett:
Sometimes when life drops you a peach you got to stop and make a cobbler.

Cronyn:
The longer magic is down the harder it is to restore.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Cronyn huh? since when do sorcerers have cell phones?

Cronyn:
You think that is bad? I have a taxi waiting outside.

Paige:
Ladies and Gentlemen its time to rock and roll.

Piper Halliwell:
Hi Phoebe come, sit, talk with us, please.

Piper:
Shh, I'm fine, I'm feeling fine.

Phoebe:
You didn't look so fine when you bent over the toilet puking your guts out today.

Piper:
Nausea, headaches, all a normal part of pregnancy. Along with gas, heartburn, constant need to pee.

Phoebe:
Sounds fun.

Paige:
[Orbs in with a bucket of bubbling mud] Greetings from the Dead Sea.

Phoebe:
Oh, Pew! What'd you eat over there?

Paige:
It's not me. it's the sulphur in the mud. It has healing properties. You know, people come from all over the world just to get this stuff.

Phoebe:
Yeah, well, we want Piper to feel like she's in a spa, not some sewer.

Stanley:
[as he dies] My name will haunt you to your grave.

Phoebe:
What was his name again?

Paige:
I don't remember.

[after discovering a unicorn in their kitchen]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Is that a present for the baby?

Paige:
Yeah, the best one ever!

Victor Bennett:
Piper, I want you to meet Doris. My new bride.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Ok, breathe. Keep breathing, keep breathing. Don't forget to breathe. Very good! Relax. Relax.

Piper Halliwell:
Dad!

Victor Bennett:
Yeah, honey?

Piper Halliwell:
I'm sorry about your demon wife.

Victor Bennett:
Oh, hush. Don't think about that.

Leo Wyatt:
I'm right here, baby.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You okay? You okay? Ok, you're doing great. You're doing great. Push, okay? Last push.

Piper Halliwell:
I can't.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You have to. A big one. Big one! Push!

Leo Wyatt:
You can do it.

Piper Halliwell:
I can't.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You can. You can.

Paige:
Yes, you can.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You're gonna be okay. Push. Push! Push!

Paige:
Oh, I think the magic is coming back.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Here we go. Here we go! Oh, I see a shoulder. And another shoulder. And an arm, another arm. Oh, and something else. Something else. [Cuts cord]

Piper Halliwell:
What? What?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Hi, baby. Hi. Okay. Okay. Look!

Paige:
Oh. Is that what I think it is?

Leo Wyatt:
You mean, I got a boy?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Here you go, mama.

Piper Halliwell:
Hi. Hi, little guy. What are you doing? Look what we did.

Leo Wyatt:
I see.

Paige:
It's a miracle.

Piper Halliwell:
A little miracle. He's beautiful. Oh. You are safe, you are loved, and you are wise. How ya doing, what's up?

Phoebe:
I'm so glad you made it back before my graduation.

Cole:
I wouldn't miss it for the world. Or the underworld.

Cole:
The rumors are true. I loved a witch, still do actually at least my human half does, but that was a mistake. I realize that now. I'd forgotten who I really was.

[after Phoebe vanquishes Vornac, who was pretending to be Cole]

Piper Halliwell:
How did you know?

Phoebe:
The safest place Cole knows is with me. He said so.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Keep an eye on me.

Prue Halliwell:
You're kind of hard to miss in that outfit.

Darryl Morris:
Look, Prue, Andy didn't teach me all the steps to this dance, but I'm a quick study.

Piper Halliwell:
[to Leo] You have time for baseball, but you don't have time to tell me about you-know-what before you-know-who shows up for you-know-where?

Prue:
Did you get him?

Phoebe:
No.

Piper:
What?

Phoebe:
I think we need a bigger balloon.

Phoebe:
He's huge and ugly and I really think we need a bigger balloon.

Piper Halliwell:
But magic is a part of who you are.

Dr. Ava Nicolae:
No, relying on magic is what killed my mom.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, uh, Eva, I know what it's like to lose your mom, believe me, I do. But still, you can't deny who you are.

Leo Wyatt:
Since when are prenatal yoga and home-birthing videos your idea of a good time?

Paige Matthews:
Since I became a friendless loser with no life.

[watching "The Joys of Home Birthing" with Leo]

Piper Halliwell:
Okay, see, I need an epidural just to watch this!

Paige Matthews:
Hey, you know, if he's after gypsies, we should stop by Theresa's funeral. I know where it is. Maybe you can get some sort of premonition that'll help us find the demon.

Piper Halliwell:
Wow. Prenatal yoga this morning, and now you want to crash a stranger's funeral? You really do need friends.

Paige Matthews:
You're mean.

[after Phoebe invites her sisters to help her lingerie shop for Piper's honeymoon]

Paige Matthews:
No. I have to go to the evil place where they keep my paycheck.

Cole Turner:
[to the Seer, after spotting her at P3] I was with the entire family. Are you out of your mind?

Aviva:
I like mirrors; they never lie to you. They always tell the truth whether you like it or not.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[while checking out Leo] My Santa how you've changed. [pause] [watching Leo leave] Oh. Those must be quite possibly the finest glutes in the city.

Piper Halliwell:
In the entire state.

Phoebe Halliwell:
In all the land.

Piper Halliwell:
I saw him first.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Uh-uh.

Piper Halliwell:
Uh-uh.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Uh-uh.

Piper Halliwell:
Uh-uh.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Huh?

Piper Halliwell:
Huh.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Awh. Oh.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay. Look Prue, I think we need to put some major closer on this or we're gonna be in rocking chairs slurping oatmeal out of rubber spoons and I'm still gonna hear about Roger. Piper, am I a boyfriend thief?

Piper Halliwell:
Totally.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Besides Roger, whom again Prue, I never touched.

Piper Halliwell:
My boyfriend. Billy Wilson.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Billy W... Eight grade Billy Wilson?

Piper Halliwell:
You kissed him at homecoming.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, I did not kiss him at homecoming. I was helping him find a contact lens.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh please. You were all over him with your breasts all... whatever...

Phoebe Halliwell:
I didn't even have breasts back then.

Piper Halliwell:
Phoebe, you've always had breasts.

Kali:
You must gain their trust first. You must let them welcome you into their coven.

Aviva:
I was just walking by and I um, saw one of your flyers and poof. There she was. Like magic.

Kali:
Piper won't stop you, and Phoebe's already an ally. Only Prue stands in our way. You must use your powers. You must take Prue's place in the power of three. Don't disappoint me Aviva. You said you wanted a family. And now you'll have one.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Prue, she's just a kid. Besides, if she is a witch, she probably feels just as alone as we do. Maybe she just needs some friends.

Prue Halliwell:
Or maybe she's out to destroy us. It wouldn't be the first time.

Leo Wyatt:
So, does Phoebe work here too?

Piper Halliwell:
Phoebe? Work. No. No. No. No. No. No. She's probably at her gay and lesbean group meeting right about now. So what'll it be?

Aunt Jackie:
She's a strange kid. Very troubled. Into all sorts of wired stuff. Black magic, voodoo. God know what else. No wonder she doesn't have any friends.

Prue Halliwell:
What makes you think she's into black magic?

Aunt Jackie:
You should see her room. It seems like every time I walk past there she's in there chanting or something. Sometimes, I swear, I even hear other voices. I know she's not happy there. I'm only taking care of her until her mom gets out of rehab.

Prue Halliwell:
Kali. Kali. Kali.

Piper Halliwell:
There, there. An evil sorceress cursed into her own dimension. She appears in reflections and has the power to possess...

Prue Halliwell:
...innocents and use them as pawns to steal a witch's power.

Piper Halliwell:
Wait. I don't understand. So she's using Aviva to try to turn us into bad witches?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Does it say anything about how to get rid of her?

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah. To get ride of her; shatter her reflection. However the hell we do that. Here.

Kali:
Hello Phoebe. How's the arm?

Phoebe Halliwell:
You're not Aviva?

Kali:
You're not kidding.

Aviva:
Phoebe! Help me!

Kali:
Never mind. My power's greater then yours Prue. It's only a matter of time.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Time? Piper, that's it! Freeze her!

Piper Halliwell:
Aviva doesn't freeze.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, but Kali will.

Kali:
No! [Aviva falls to floor while Kali freezes]

Piper Halliwell:
Prue! The mirror! Get her to the mirror!

Kali:
No! [Kali vanishes after Phoebe breaks the mirror]

Prue Halliwell:
Hey.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Hey.

Prue Halliwell:
Can we talk?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Is there really anything to talk about?

Prue Halliwell:
Andy. I'm sorry.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
So am I!

Prue Halliwell:
What do you mean by that?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
I mean come on Prue. Who we kidding? I mean let's face it. One of us is obviously more interested in this relationship than the other.

Prue Halliwell:
That's not true.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Isn't it? Then how come I'm always the one left standing there looking like a jerk.

Prue Halliwell:
I can explain.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
No, you can't. Or you won't. Damn it Prue. I still love you. I'm not saying you have to explain it all to me Prue. That you're prerogative. All I'm saying is... It hurts that you don't trust me enough.

Prue Halliwell:
I do trust you Andy. It has nothing to do with you, it's just. It's just something that I don't know if I can ever share with anybody.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Well, I hope that's not true for your sake. All I know is there's nothing I can say or do to reassure you, that I'm there for you.

Prue Halliwell:
Andy, are you saying that you don't want to see me anymore?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
I don't know what I want anymore.

Piper Halliwell:
Uh, guys, we have about twenty seconds until they unfreeze.

Phoebe Halliwell:
How did you find out about us?

Aviva:
I'm gonna need more than twenty seconds for that.

Outlaw:
See you in hell.

Cole:
Been there, done that.

Cole:
I'm not gonna use my powers against you anyway. In fact, I'm never gonna use them again. [laughs] Ever. It keeps me from being evil.

Prue:
No you will always be evil, you're a demon.

Cole:
Half-demon! My human half can suppress it if you...

Prue:
If we show you that we have gifts too, will you trust us then?

[to Cole]

Prue:
Show him.

Cole:
Show him what?

Prue:
Your gift. Show him your gift.

[Cole shimmers out and then shimmers back in]

Phoebe:
Something good happened. Can't you just accept that?

Cole:
[Cole shakes his head]

Cole:
It's not in my nature.

Piper:
You were telling yourself how much you love you?

Leo:
I've thought this through

Piper:
Is that why you asked me to marry you in a toilet?

Piper:
Just feelings mostly. Good ones. Peaceful and whole and then it all went to crap when they said Leo and I had to stop seeing each other or else.

Phoebe:
All right, don't call me "sweetie". You can't hold a person prisoner and then call them "sweetie"!

Leo:
Piper, what are you doing?

Piper:
Diminishing the rodent population... *obviously*.

Piper:
Darryl, have you heard from Paige? She was supposed to come straight home from the hospital.

Darryl:
Paige is in jail.

Piper:
What for? [shouts] What for?

Darryl:
[after Paige orbs out of jail] You just disappeared!

Paige:
No! I put pillows in the bed first. [Darryl stares in disbelief] It always worked at my parent's house.

Paige:
[after seeing Phoebe making out with Cole] Okay, we need a plan.

Piper:
Okay, here it is... we go home, we vomit.

Paige:
And...?

Piper:
That's all I got.

Brute Demon:
Kaia, you still playing good witch?

Phoebe:
It's how the big guy likes it.

Brute Demon:
Sick.

Billie Jenkins:
Because. Because I don't like it, okay? It sucks. I just... I feel like I walked out on my family.

Henry Mitchell:
I mean, I faced demons and fireballs, magical suitors, orbing... I mean, I think I passed the test, right?

Paige Matthews:
What test?

Henry Mitchell:
You love me, don't you?

Paige Matthews:
Yes, love I you.

Henry Mitchell:
Cause... Paige, will you marry me?

Paige Matthews:
Yes. [accepts ring and giggles]

Piper Halliwell:
[after Piper loses her head] Great. Ju-u-ust great.

Piper Halliwell:
[the three heads of the Charmed Ones are sitting on a table] So... who's bright idea was this, anyway?

Phoebe Halliwell:
We were trying to save you.

Piper Halliwell:
Yeah? Good job on that one.

Phoebe Halliwell:
And who went and got her head stolen?

Piper Halliwell:
While you were off contemplating your navel, while you still had one...

Paige Matthews:
Guys, we are not getting anywhere arguing.

Piper Halliwell:
Actually, we're not getting anywhere because we don't have any bodies.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, look. We said we were sorry.

Paige Matthews:
Can we try looking on the bright side? I mean, you know, we're still alive.

Piper Halliwell:
Only 'cause Zachary can't kill us in here.

Paige Matthews:
I don't think he would if he could. I mean, he practically apologized to us.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I think she's right, actually. I didn't sense any anger from him, just a lot of sorrow.

Piper Halliwell:
So, what? He did this to us just to get us out of the way? To do what?

Phoebe Halliwell:
To get revenge on the school.

Paige Matthews:
And Gideon.

[last lines]

Phoebe Halliwell:
I need you to be honest with me. No games, no running away. Just the truth.

Chris Halliwell:
[shrugs] Okay.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Are you Wyatt's little brother?

Chris Halliwell:
[sigh] Only if I can get Piper and Leo back together in time.

Piper:
OK, all you people with legs, follow me.

Billie Jenkins:
I'm pretty much caught up here, but I charge ten bucks an hour to babysit.

Sam Wilder:
Babysit?

Billie Jenkins:
Yeah. That's what I'm doing here, right? It's not exactly a demon hunt, but in for a penny, in for a pound, huh?

Sam Wilder:
Okay, look. I need to find Paige. I need you to look after J.D. Do *not* let him out of the house. If he finds out what year it is, he'll go crazy.

Billie Jenkins:
Okay, fine. I'll just cast a spell on him.

Sam Wilder:
No! No spells. He doesn't know anything about magic, and he can't, either. He's had more than enough magic used on him already.

Billie Jenkins:
Fine. Twelve bucks an hour. But when you find Paige, tell her I have a midterm to study for and a sister to find. She owes me big time for this. This is so ri...

[J.D. enters]

J.D. Williams:
Hey, baby. What's shaking?

Billie Jenkins:
[smitten] No charge.

Paige Matthews:
If anything turns up, I'll call you.

Sam Wilder:
The magical way?

Paige Matthews:
No Sam, the normal way. Pick up the phone if it rings ok?

Soothsayer:
How many times a day do you have sex?

Piper Halliwell:
A *day*? What, are you crazy?

[aside, to Leo]

Piper Halliwell:
No wonder you wanted to see him. Are you kidding me?

Soothsayer:
Just remember, it is always darkest before the dawn.

Prue Halliwell:
Stop. You're obsessing.

Piper Halliwell:
Well it runs in the family.

Prue Halliwell:
I don't obsess. I think. Intensely.

Piper Halliwell:
[about Phoebe] She's a walking brain-trust, an Einstein with cleavage.

Piper Halliwell:
I have plenty of experience.

Dan Gordon:
Really? With sex?

Piper Halliwell:
No, um, I mean... talking about it.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You would never cast a smart spell. 24 hours, from 7 to 7, I will understand all meaning from here to heaven. Spirits, send the words from all across the land. Allow me to absorb them through the touch of either hand. For 24 hours, from 7 to 7, I will understand all meaning of the words, from here to heaven Oh, and P.S. there will be no personal gain. Abaca: Stronger fiber obtained from a banana leaf. Zygote: A cell formed by the union of two gametes. Cool!

Phoebe Halliwell:
You know, this whole smart spell thing... it really just made me realize that there's a lot of cool information out there.

Prue Halliwell:
I agree.

Phoebe Halliwell:
And who knows, maybe I will go back to college, take some night classes. I'm a smart girl; I'll figure it out.

Prue Halliwell:
Yes, you will.

Paige Matthews:
Everyone in the world thinks we're these trashy blondes. I do have to hand it to them, though. They've taken identity theft to a whole new level.

Margo Stillman:
Um, as the baby in the family, I'm afraid I'll be doing the orbing. We get our powers by sorority.

Mitzy Stillman:
That's 'seniority', Margo.

Chris Halliwell:
You should take this threat seriously. And tell Paige. Where is Paige?

Phoebe Halliwell:
She's at her new temp job.

Chris Halliwell:
She's still on that kick?

Piper Halliwell:
It's not a kick, Chris. It's her quest for happiness outside of magic.

Chris Halliwell:
Yeah, but it's a temp job. Who finds happiness on a temp job ?

Mabel Stillman:
[leafing through the Book of Shadows] Hey, we're in here.

Mitzy Stillman:
We made the Book of Shadows? [Mitzy and Margo go over to see] What, no picture?

Margo Stillman:
Just a paragraph. A really, really tiny paragraph.

Mabel Stillman:
"The Stillman Sisters : Mabel, Mitzy, Margo. Common witches known for their small time hustles and cons. Not worth vanquishing. If they become a nuisance, try a simple spell to bind their magic."

Margo Stillman:
...Oh. Well, at least we got an entry.

Piper Halliwell:
[taunting Mabel] You've got us now, so why don't you blow us up?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Piper, death bad, life good !

Mitzy Stillman:
I don't want to be them... I want to be bad.

Margo Stillman:
Me too... bad's better!

Margo Stillman:
Just because we killed the owners here, doesn't mean we should let their food go to waste.

Mabel Stillman:
That's because we aren't witches anymore. We got their powers.

Margo Stillman:
Uh, excuse me. You got their powers... I got a big fat nothing... as usual.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, I hate cemeteries at night.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I hate cemeteries at day. [hears a noise] What was that?

Prue Halliwell:
Ah, probably a zombie or vampire.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Great. Where's Buffy when you need her?

Prue Halliwell:
Heh.

Prue Halliwell:
[finding Jackson Ward's grave] Jackson Ward. Do you have the picture? [Phoebe digs into her pocket and pulls out a picture] [reading the note on the picture] Hey Jackson, let's party?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm not even married, and already I'm a housewife.

Claire Pryce:
Oh, don't thank me yet. Now, I have tolerated your unexplained absences and the endless family emergencies, but no more. Buyers interested in purchasing Buckland's will be visiting in the next two days and it's important that we make a big impression. It's important that you make a big impression if you expect to keep your job. Do I make myself clear?

Piper Halliwell:
Ok, but wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa! I just realized the two of you haven't really ever been alone together.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Piper, we're big girls now. I don't think we need you as a buffer anymore.

Piper Halliwell:
All right. Well, what about demon stuff? What if something happens and you need the Power of Three?

Prue Halliwell:
Well, then the Power of Two will just have to do.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Good one.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
No. I just needed some space. It's one thing to suspect what your secret was, it's another thing to actually see it with my own eyes.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What exactly is that?

Prue Halliwell:
One killer cocktail literally. A little oleander, some jimsonweed, bloodroot, among other things. Stops the heart immediately.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, you're scaring me. Where did you learn to do that?

Prue Halliwell:
Book of Shadows.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Where under Dr. Kevorkian?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm the one that's upset with myself for not working for a living.

Prue Halliwell:
You do work.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I know, Prue. I work around the house, but I want a job. I want a real job.

Prue Halliwell:
And you will find one when you're ready.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I can't remember the last time we talked like this.

Claire Pryce:
[Answering machine] Prue, it's Claire. You're late. You're fired.

Prue Halliwell:
Who are you?

Soul Collector:
I was hoping to take you or your sister, but it looks like your soul is safe. For now.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Listen, Prue, I've done some thinking about the Truth Spell, and I'm still kind of trying to sort my feelings out, but I've kind of come to the conclusion that no matter whether I had a minute, a month, or a year to think about it wouldn't change the truth. It may sound boring, but I know that someday I want to have a normal life to come home to. You know, with a white picket fence and a two-car garage, a screaming kid. But no demons. Maybe it's because of all the evil I deal with every day on the job. I don't know.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Whew! I've always believed there was another world, behind or beyond this one. I even sort of believe in demons. But I have never in my wildest dreams I could never have imagined that this existed.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, neither did we. But we've come to believe that there's a reason for why that world was opened up to us. Which means there's probably a very good reason why it was opened up to you, too.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Welcome, to our little shop of horrors.

Piper Halliwell:
What are you exactly? Ghost, demon, poltergeist, nightmare?

Cole Turner:
None of the above. We're caught in a cosmic void... between life and death.

Piper Halliwell:
I'm stuck with you?

Cole Turner:
No. If you play your cards right, you can get out of this nasty limbo. I'm the one who's here for all eternity.

Piper Halliwell:
Paying penance for your evil past.

Cole Turner:
You always were the smart one.

Cole Turner:
You've tried going upstairs twice, out the front door four times, and through the wall five.

[Piper is pushed out of the wall and back into the living room and falls on the floor against the couch with a thud]

Piper Halliwell:
Unh!

Cole Turner:
Make that six times. But, hey, you haven't tried the chimney yet.

Piper Halliwell:
I thought ghosts could go any damn place they pleased.

Cole Turner:
You're still attached to your body. You're not a ghost. But you will be if you don't start trusting me. There is only one way out of here.

Piper Halliwell:
The last Halliwell that trusted you ended up burying your demonic spawn.

Cole Turner:
Not one of my finer moments, but Phoebe'll make a great mom. Can you blame me for wanting to be the dad?

Piper Halliwell:
You're wasting your time.

Cole Turner:
Now is that any way to treat family?

[Sandra an Elder orbs in]

Sandra:
Don't worry. Leo's Fine.

Piper:
So then where is he?

Sandra:
Piper, the Elders have come to the consensus that Leo has lost his way. So we've sent him on the path to following his destiny.

Drake Robin:
Like the Prodigal son out to find his way in the world?

Piper:
Uh, you know what, this Elder speak is not working for me. I need some straight answers, what exactly did you do to him?

Sandra:
We erased his memories and put him back on Earth as a mortal. Somewhere you'll never find him.

Phoebe:
What? He doesn't remember anything; he doesn't remember Piper, or his sons, nothing?

Sandra:
Not even having been an Elder.

Piper:
That's crazy. You don't have the right to wipe out someone's mind, an entire life. [Emphasis] My life!

Piper Halliwell:
Oh no, am I dead again?

Old Phoebe:
I never married you, Cole, I called it off. And once I found out you were the Source, my sisters and I had to vanquish you.

[to Young Phoebe]

Phoebe Halliwell:
You see that girl right there? That's Piper, all grown up.

[Young Phoeboe stares at Piper]

Phoebe Halliwell:
And that's her husband, Leo.

[seeing Cole]

Young Phoebe:
[flirtingly] Oh, my gosh! Who are you?

Phoebe Halliwell:
[to Cole, about older Phoebe] I would stay out of my bedroom if I were you. Unless you want to get slapped again.

Paige Matthews:
Okay. Did they just vanquish a demon that can't be vanquished?

Phoebe Halliwell:
What does that mean?

Piper Halliwell:
I think that means we just found the ultimate power.

Prue Halliwell:
Hannah, why are you always such a b*tch to me?

Hannah Webster:
Because it's my mission in life to destroy you.

Piper Halliwell:
Ask it what a day off feels like. That was my boss, Martin. I have to get back to the restaurant.

Prue Halliwell:
You're kidding!

Piper Halliwell:
There's a convention in town and business is just crazy.

Phoebe Halliwell:
But you worked a double shift yesterday and the day before that. He's working you to death, Piper.

Prue Halliwell:
I thought you were gonna talk to Martin about this weeks ago.

Piper Halliwell:
I never got around to it.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, well, tell him to stuff it. Tell him you're taking the night off and that's that.

Piper Halliwell:
I know. You're right. I will. Hello, Martin? No, I know what you want, but... Okay. No, it's not a problem. I'll be right there.

Prue Halliwell:
Wow. You told him.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Beware the wrath of Piper.

Phoebe Halliwell:
So what are waiting for? Tell him the truth. It's the only thing standing between you guys.

Prue Halliwell:
Tell him that I'm a witch? I can't do that. What if he can't handle it? It's not like I can put the genie back in the bottle.

Phoebe Halliwell:
He's not gonna turn you in to the warlock police. At least you'd know how he feels once and for all. Otherwise, you'll never know if it could've worked out or not. If I were you, I would figure out a way to tell him.

Piper Halliwell:
You cast a Truth Spell?

Prue Halliwell:
Yes. Look, please, no more questions.

Piper Halliwell:
Why?

Prue Halliwell:
I wanted to know what Andy would think of me if he found out I was a witch.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I can't believe it.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, look who's talking, little Miss Spell-of-the-Week.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, no. I mean, I can't believe you actually took my advice. The biggest pooper at the wicca party has finally used her power for personal gain. It's about time.

Piper Halliwell:
Personal? It's affecting us. Prue, what have you done?

Prue Halliwell:
The spell was only supposed to work on me. It said those in this house. I thought I was alone.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, obviously, you weren't.

Piper Halliwell:
Wait! We have to undo it right now, fast.

Prue Halliwell:
Can't. Twenty-four-hour time limit, which means until eight o'clock tonight, everybody who comes into contact with us will have no choice but to speak the truth.

Piper Halliwell:
What do you mean no choice?

Prue Halliwell:
Exactly that. Ask me a question.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm game. Prue, what do you think of me?

Prue Halliwell:
While I admire your confidence and your fearlessness, your utter lack of responsibility frustrates me to no end. Oh God, that is so enough.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, my God. This could be very dangerous.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm kinda digging it. Piper, what do you really think of your boss?

Piper Halliwell:
I think he's a self-serving jerk who must have a very small penis. Oh, my God! I'm gonna be so fired!

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, my god! I'm gonna be so fired!

Prue Halliwell:
No, no, no. It's ok because once the spell ends, no one will remember what they've heard. You guys, I just wanted to see how Andy would react.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What a way to come out of the broom closet!

Phoebe Halliwell:
What do you know about the guy they found murdered in the movie theater parking lot the other night?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Lead detective says he's not the only victim. Last night, they found a lab technician out in Oakland. Each of them had the same cauterized mark on their foreheads, and their eyes were drained of color. They were completely white. Wait?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Cause of death?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Unknown. Looks like they took a bullet to the head, only there's no exit wound and no bullet. Phoebe, this is highly ...

Hannah Webster:
Oh, look... last turkey-no-mayo. My favorite.

Tanya Parker:
Actually, I was saving that for Prue.

Hannah Webster:
Yeah, you were.

Prue Halliwell:
Don't you hate turkey?

Hannah Webster:
Of course I do. I just don't want you to have it.

Prue Halliwell:
Is there any particular reason why you're such a b*tch to me?

Hannah Webster:
Yes. Because it's my mission in life to destroy you.

Rex Buckland:
Well, uh, nothing like a bit of inter-office rivalry to get those competitive juices flowing. Um, Hannah, a word.

Piper Halliwell:
I was just wondering, do you ever... think of me?

Leo Wyatt:
Yeah.

Piper Halliwell:
In what way? As a friend sort of way or...?

Leo Wyatt:
You have beautiful eyes.

Piper Halliwell:
That's a good way.

Leo Wyatt:
I'm sorry. That was totally inappropriate, wasn't it?

Piper Halliwell:
No, not at all, eh. Oh, what the hell. Leo, how do you feel about women who make the first move?

Leo Wyatt:
I don't know. I'm still waiting for it to happen.

Piper Halliwell:
Goodness.

[she kisses him]

Leo Wyatt:
Uh, how do you feel about guys who make the second move?

Leo Wyatt:
Love 'em.

[he kisses her]

Martin:
Why spend money on more employees when I know you'll do it and you won't complain? I got a bargain - all the work for half the price. Piper, I - I don't know why I said that.

Piper Halliwell:
Too late, Martin. Truth's out and so am I. You don't deserve me. I quit.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, there's a button that's not supposed to exist, a demon that the Book of Shadows says doesn't exist, and a baby no one knows exists. You got a better explanation?

Prue Halliwell:
What do you want with her?

Gavin:
She's hiding the woman I was sent back to kill.

Prue Halliwell:
Sent back from where?

Gavin:
The future. What are you doing...

Prue Halliwell:
Why kill Tanya?

Gavin:
I don't want Tanya. I want... what's inside her. No!

Prue Halliwell:
And the others, why kill them?

Gavin:
They were all... pieces of the puzzle... pieces of the vaccine. Stop this!

Phoebe Halliwell:
No. This is not the kind of information Tanya needs right now, especially from people she just met who are telling her some 3-eyed demon wants to suck the life out of her. Suck the life out of her. Wait a minute. Is it possible that it's not Tanya he wants? That it's her baby?

Gavin:
You can't hide from me forever.

Prue Halliwell:
What's the vaccine for? What does it protect against?

Gavin:
Against me, of course and all other warlocks like me in the future. The Parker child will be the one to bring together all the elements to create the vaccine which will destroy us.

Prue Halliwell:
Andy, no. Look, if I come inside, we'll have drinks, there'll be small talk, and precious minutes will pass. I need to know now. Can you or can you not accept that I'm a witch?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
If I have to answer right now I don't think so, Prue. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, I guess. It's just not a future I envision having.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Can you change? I mean, is it something you can get rid of?

Prue Halliwell:
No, Andy, I can't change who I am, and that's something I've recently come to accept. The question is, can you?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
To tell you the truth, I don't know, Prue. I honestly don't know.

Prue Halliwell:
My sisters and I, we have special gifts.

Allison Michaels:
Gifts? What kind of gifts?

Prue Halliwell:
Ones you can't return. Let's just say we come from an interesting family tree.

Rex Buckland:
Prue, your, um, sister's here to see you. She's waiting in your office.

Prue Halliwell:
Which sister?

Rex Buckland:
The one who upon seeing your office, said "Damn, I should go back to college."

Prue Halliwell:
Phoebe.

Prue:
We did that

Phoebe:
And they'll live happily ever after

Piper:
I wonder if we will

Prue:
Of course we will, why shouldn't we?

Piper:
That's easy for you to say. You'll never greet your husband at the door with "Honey, I think I froze the kids!"

Prue:
No I've just accidently moved them to another zip code

Phoebe:
But I will "see" them, find them, and bring them back safely. If I can ever learn to control my powers

Piper:
If any of us can

Jade D'Mon:
What's the matter? Forget about our little pact?

Mrs. Grace Spencer:
No, Jade, but I was hoping that you did. My God, you haven't aged in twenty years.

Jade D'Mon:
You could've asked for eternal youth, Grace, instead of choosing wealth, power, all this. You've had a good life, haven't you?

Piper:
Don't ever mention that warlock's name again. It is over. He's in demon hell. End of story. Wedding yes, warlocks no. Am I clear? Good, because there is nothing in me that wants anything to do with Jeremy ever again.

Phoebe:
But I shouldn't be surprised that you would think that. After all, I am the irresponsible sister, the black sheep who always screws up, the dark cloud over the Halliwell household.

Phoebe:
Excuse me. I think I still have two more minutes. FYI, you have another sister who has had sex. Remember Jeremy? The guy who blew up in the attic? The warlock boyfriend? Think about it, Prue. Because it wasn't me in that vision having the demon child. It was Piper. So, if you won't believe me, you can believe my power.

Kirsten:
Word of advice. You keep your eyes closed and your mouth shut. In twenty-four hours Jade will be pregnant and all of this will be over.

Phoebe:
Okay, I can't hold this in any longer. Your name isn't Piper and that's the good news. You're really Hecate, Queen of the underworld. You're pregnant with the demon child, which means, I'm afraid I have to kill you.

Allison Michaels:
This isn't a fairy tale. Real life doesn't work that away.

Prue Halliwell:
But what if you can get him back? Do you really wanna spend the rest of your life just wondering? In your heart of hearts, you must still love him.

Allison Michaels:
I do. God, I really do.

Prue Halliwell:
Then let me help you.

Allison Michaels:
But you don't even know me. Why would you want to help me?

Prue Halliwell:
Have you ever seen that television show where there's the woman who's an angel and she helps strangers every week?

Allison Michaels:
I love that show.

Prue Halliwell:
Don't get too excited, I'm nothing like that. But, uh, my sisters and I, we have special gifts.

Allison Michaels:
Gifts? What kind of gifts?

Prue Halliwell:
Ones you can't return.

Prue Halliwell:
She's a demon. She comes to earth every two hundred years. She has to find an innocent, put him under her spell, and marry him in a sanctified wedding.

Phoebe:
That doesn't sound any different than most of the single women in this city.

Prue Halliwell:
She needs Elliot to impregnate her. That way her child would look normal on the outside but internally and mentally, her child would be pure demon.

Prue Halliwell:
Piper, are you still in there?

Piper:
[checking a pregnancy test] Just, give me a minute.

Prue Halliwell:
Define a minute.

Piper:
Two.

Prue Halliwell:
Piper come on please, look I can not be late today.

Piper:
[to herself] I know the feeling.

Piper:
I don't believe it! They've barely touched my food!

Prue Halliwell:
Piper.

Piper:
Those deli trays took hours!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, I'm great with phones, better with people, I'm very computer friendly, and with a paycheck, I could purchase new clothes, so by hiring me, you'd actually be expanding your wardrobe not decreasing it. And I'd be eternally grateful.

Piper Halliwell:
Describe it? Okay... big, scary, strong... kind of like a cross between a werewolf and Charles Manson.

Ashley Fallon:
This witness corroborates every other statement. According to their descriptions, this perp's not either animal or human. You didn't blink. I was expecting a response.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Just tell me what I'm looking for.

Ashley Fallon:
You believe them that it's not human?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Let's just say recent experiences have taught me to keep an open mind.

Piper Halliwell:
I thought I was going to die last night. I was totally helpless, and all I could think about was that I was never going to see you guys again. And then suddenly out of nowhere comes Billy. Saved me. Protected me. That thing took away the person he loved, and he's out there all alone trying to kill it. I can't just do nothing.

Phoebe Halliwell:
There's a reason my r?sum? is only three sentences long, Piper.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
I'm not altogether convinced it's a quote-unquote creature. The blood types, the full moon, the stolen hearts that feels like ritual. And ritual is human. Could be just one sick mind behind these crimes.

Piper Halliwell:
A wendigo. Apparently, it looks like a normal person during the day but then transforms at night. It survives by feeding on human hearts.

Billy Waters:
What?

Piper Halliwell:
According to my information, the first wendigo was a mortal who, betrayed by his lover, cut out her heart and ate it. As soon as he did, his own heart turned to ice, and that's how he became this monster.

Billy Waters:
So, what, it, like... it takes love away from others. Is that it? Or then why did it go after you? Are you in love?

Piper Halliwell:
No. Unfortunately, um, no. It must be attracted to something else.

Billy Waters:
Like maybe beauty? [Piper laughs]

Billy Waters:
I'm sorry. It's just you remind me a lot of my fiancee.

Prue Halliwell:
Guess that bracelet was worth more than I thought it was.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Are you kidding? It's priceless. Thank god for my powers.

Prue Halliwell:
It wasn't just your powers that did that, Phoebes.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We still need to take a trip to the army-navy store.

Prue Halliwell:
Why?

Phoebe Halliwell:
To get a flare gun.

Piper Halliwell:
[growls] Screw you, b*tch!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, I think we need to hurry.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, just hang in there, Piper.

Phoebe Halliwell:
My turn. This time we don't fire until I see slobber on its face.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Are you okay?

Piper Halliwell:
I think so. But I'm naked and freezing.

Piper Halliwell:
On the house for saving my hide.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Literally, you Wendigo you.

Piper Halliwell:
And Andy. By the way, what did you tell him about why we were all there?

Prue Halliwell:
I told him the truth.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Get out!

Prue Halliwell:
I did. I said that what he saw happen was true, that Agent Fallon really was the Wendigo, and that had we not vanquished her, that both he and Piper would have been killed. I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, what did he say?

Prue Halliwell:
Not much. He was either too stunned to speak or actually believed me on some level. It was the closest that we've ever come to having an honest conversation.

Ashley Fallon:
Now all I care about is having sex.

[Andy stares off into space for a moment]

Ashley Fallon:
Does this shock you?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Not really. [laughing] I was just wondering where you were when I was in college!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Listen, you. While we're at work. Woah... head rush. While "we're" at work.

[shivers]

Phoebe Halliwell:
I don't understand. Why didn't you just freeze him?

Piper Halliwell:
I was trapped in a phone booth. My power doesn't work outside the room I'm in, remember?

Billy Waters:
'Cuz when it attacked us, um... Me and my fiancee Laura... We were camping by Lake Michigan, and I grabbed a log from the fire, it freaked, took off. But, um... Not before it ripped Luara's heart out. Might as well have taken mine, too.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Because I convinced Pure to hire me and what if I disappoint her? or what if I screw up and make her look bad? There's a reason my r?sum? is only three sentences long, Piper.

Piper Halliwell:
Why?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Because I convinced Pure to hire me and what if I disappoint her? or what if I screw up and make her look bad? There's a reason my r?sum? is only three sentences long, Piper.

Piper Halliwell:
Describe it? Ok... Big, Scary, Strong... Kinda like a cross bwteen a Werewolf and Charles Manson.

Ashley Fallon:
Yellow eyes?

Piper Halliwell:
Yes

Ashley Fallon:
Talon-like hands?

Piper Halliwell:
Uh-Huh

Prue Halliwell:
Great, so I'm being hunted by a warlock and the San Francisco P.D.

Melinda Warren:
How do modern women keep their legs warm?

Prue Halliwell:
We drink coffee.

Arnold Halliwell:
[as Matthew, a 17th century warlock is strangling him telekinetically] I'll... sue... you!

Matthew Tate:
[kills him] Lawyers... have *not* changed.

Melinda Warren:
Why? Why did you betray me?

Matthew Tate:
You got what you deserve.

Melinda Warren:
So, you never loved me? All the passion? All the heat?

Matthew Tate:
I had to make you trust me. It was the only way to share your powers

Melinda Warren:
And so now you have them. So why would you turn me in? You know I'll burn.

Matthew Tate:
I had to keep my secret.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You've never asked a guy out before?

Piper Halliwell:
Not on a real date, no.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I don't understand. Am I the only person in this family who's inherited the take a chance gene?

Piper Halliwell:
Probably, 'cause if I remember my biology correctly, it's attached to the "Can't Mind My Own Business" gene.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh. Go.

Hannah Webster:
You may have proven the legend of the locket true and that the little witch is Charmed, but now we have a 17th century warlock running around. I think he'll stick out.

Rex Buckland:
Yep. But then again, if the legend does hold true, Matthew's got a one-track mind. Just like we do. He won't be difficult to find. Stop worrying, Hannah. Gonna get wrinkles on your horns.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, yeah. You want to have that conversation with him? Hey, Andy, I hate to bother you, but this 17th century warlock is trying to kill me and my sisters. Any thoughts?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Melinda Warren, blood of our blood.

Prue Halliwell:
Our great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We summon thee. [Melinda Warren apppears]

Melinda Warren:
Oh, Blessed Be.

Melinda Warren:
No! Don't - don't rip the dress to make it fit me.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, I'm not ripping it. It's called a zipper. See?

Melinda Warren:
Okay. A wise witch made this.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, and wise witches in this century keep a low profile. You slip this dress on, you'll blend right in.

Melinda Warren:
It's so odd to be here again to breathe and feel. What sheep has wool so soft?

Phoebe Halliwell:
A synthetic one.

Melinda Warren:
Once Matthew had what he wanted, he told the town council I was a witch and they arrested me. Then they burned me at the stake.

Piper Halliwell:
Why didn't you save yourself?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah. Why didn't you use your powers to escape?

Melinda Warren:
I had a daughter. Her name was Prudence. She meant everything to me. If I'd used my powers, I would've proven Matthew's charge, and Prudence would've burned, too. So I thought I'll accept this and pray some kind soul will take pity on my daughter and raise her in a safe home. Only then can the Warren line continue. And it must've worked, because here you are.

Matthew Tate:
Who are you? How do you know me?

Rex Buckland:
The short answer is, we're the ones that gave the witch the locket that had you freed. I suppose you could say that we're partners.

Matthew Tate:
I work alone.

Matthew Tate:
Not in this century you don't. You're new in town. New in time. You need our help I see you've been shopping. Find what you're looking for?

Rex Buckland:
I want Melinda Warren's children.

Hannah Webster:
Talk about your coincidences.

Rex Buckland:
You see, we have the means to find them for you, and you have the ability to take their powers.

Prue Halliwell:
Grams must've added this one.

Melinda Warren:
To increase patience.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I bet she used that spell a lot raising us?

Prue Halliwell:
We weren't all troublemakers, Phoebe.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I was not a troublemaker. I was just...

Piper Halliwell:
A pain.

Phoebe Halliwell:
A free spirit.

Prue Halliwell:
A handful.

Melinda Warren:
A Warren. It's a family trait. So are the short tempers, the great cheekbones, the strong wills, and, of course, the powers. All blessings, all signs of where you came from. This book is your connection, and it began with me.

Piper Halliwell:
Uh, Leo?

Leo Wyatt:
Yeah?

Piper Halliwell:
Would you like to go out sometime? With me, that is?

Leo Wyatt:
I'd love to. Give me a call.

Piper Halliwell:
[Smiles] Okay!

Melinda Warren:
But I have to go.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Why? Why can't you stay here and have the life that you should have had?

Melinda Warren:
Because this isn't my time. It's your time. And Prue's and Piper's.

Piper Halliwell:
We don't mind sharing.

Melinda Warren:
You three give me great joy. I've seen The Charmed Ones. Good witches. Women of strength and grace.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Tell me what you see.

Melinda Warren:
I see the future. Many more generations of my beautiful daughters. I see my dreams fulfilled. Oh, thank you for that.

Piper:
But aren't we, like, raising the dead? What if she's all...

Phoebe:
I read The Book of Shadows very carefully. She will come back as a real live person, flesh and blood. She will have her powers too. Our powers.

[picks up a knife]

Piper:
What's that for?

Phoebe:
Well, the spell works by blood calling blood, so it shouldn't hurt... much.

[Phoebe cuts her finger with the knife]

Phoebe:
I lied, I lied. Okay, come on guys. It'll be just like the summer by the lake. Remember when we made a oath blood to be friends forever, not just sisters?

Piper:
I remember my finger got infected

Prue:
[Prue takes the knife off of Phoebe and stabs her finger] Ow. Yeah, but the oath worked.

[Prue hands the knife to piper]

Piper:
And I couldn't go in the water for three weeks. Don't hand me that knife.

Prue:
How are you gonna cut yourself?

Piper:
I'm not.

Phoebe:
Piper...

Piper:
I can't stand the sight of blood.

Prue:
Evil beings have blown up in our attic...

Phoebe:
Disintegrated to dust right before our very eyes...

Prue:
And you're afraid of a little drop of blood?

Piper:
Fine, just cut my finger.

[holds out her hand to Phoebe]

Piper:
[Piper covers her eyes and Phoebe stabs the knife in her finger] Ow!

Melinda Warren:
Outside of time outside of gain know only sorrow know only pain

Matthew Tate:
NOOO

Melinda Warren:
Its what you deserve

Piper Halliwell:
The potion blew up, and, uh, Leo's an Avatar.

Piper Halliwell:
Jack's not a warlock.

Prue Halliwell:
He's a jerk.

Dan Gordon:
Someday, somehow, I'm going to make it through that damn door.

Piper Halliwell:
With warlocks and demons coming out of the woodwork all the time, it's a wonder we trust anybody!

Prue Halliwell:
They really shouldn't have given us the finger.

Piper Halliwell:
You read my mind.

Collector #1:
[after being frozen by Piper and beaten up by Phoebe] Eric will be harder to get, now... he's being protected by a time-freezing witch.

Collector #2:
And Bruce Lee's little sister.

[after learning Jack used his identical twin to see if Prue liked him]

Prue Halliwell:
[slaps Jack] That's for thinking you could get away with it.

[Jeff laughs]

Prue Halliwell:
[slaps Jeff] And that's for thinking that you wouldn't get slapped.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, do we have to call him the rat demon? Because it's very hard to be appropriately frightened.

Piper Halliwell:
Phoebe, since you have stalling down to a science, you and Paige go to the club and buy some time.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
[seeing Phoebe holding Kit] Is that your cat?

Phoebe Halliwell:
It is now.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Seems familiar. [Kit is later revealed to be the Charmed Ones' familiar]

Prue Halliwell:
Do you think Andy knows about?

Piper Halliwell:
No!

Prue Halliwell:
I think he knows about us.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Who would ever believe him anyway?

Piper Halliwell:
That's true. So what are we going to do now?

Prue Halliwell:
Same thing that we've always done. Borrow each other's clothes, hog the phone. But no matter what, we'll always be sisters. Right?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah. Sister witches.

Prue Halliwell:
The Chosen Ones, The Charmed Ones. Phoebe, this is insane.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Are you telling me that nothing strange happened to you today? You didn't freeze time or move anything?

Prue Halliwell:
Roger took an exhibit away from me. Look, Phoebe, you may think that you can see the future, which is pretty ironic...

Phoebe Halliwell:
Since you don't think I have one? That my vision of life is cloudy, compared to your perfect hell? Even if you don't want to believe me, just once can't you trust me?

Prue Halliwell:
I do not have special powers. [cream pitcher moves]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Really?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Looks pretty special to me.

Prue Halliwell:
Oh, my God. It just... So, um... I can move things with my mind?

Phoebe Halliwell:
With how much you hold inside, you should be a lethal weapon by now.

Prue Halliwell:
I don't believe it, but it's true.

Phoebe Halliwell:
This must mean that Piper can freeze time. Are you okay?

Prue Halliwell:
No, I'm not okay! You've turned me into a witch!

Phoebe Halliwell:
You were born one. We all were. And I think we better start learning to deal with that.

Piper Halliwell:
Look, I know what happened last night was weird and unexplainable, but we're not witches, and we do not have special powers. Besides Grams wasn't a witch, and as far as we know, neither was mom. So take that, Nancy Drew.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We're the protectors of the innocent. We're known as "The Charmed Ones".

Piper Halliwell:
Hmmmm.

Phoebe Halliwell:
And I beg to differ about Grams.

Piper Halliwell:
You're up early.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I never went to sleep.

Piper Halliwell:
Don't tell me you put on a black conical hat and spent the night flying around the neighborhood on a broomstick.

Phoebe Halliwell:
The only broom I've ever had was kept in a closet beside a mop.

Piper Halliwell:
So what were you doing?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Reading. Is Prue around?

Piper Halliwell:
She went to work early. Reading aloud?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, but... according to the Book of Shadows, one of our ancestors was a witch named Melinda Warren.

Piper Halliwell:
And we have a cousin who's a drunk, an aunt who's manic, and a father who's invisible.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You have every right to be very upset with me. I know I've been a very, very bad girl. Please let me make it up to you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No. Because Piper doesn't complain about anything anymore. Ever since Leo left to become an Elder, all she does is walk around the house all... chipper.

Piper Halliwell:
I need some space from you. I mean, who knows? This might actually turn out to be a good thing for me in the long run. I might be able to live some semblance of a normal life, not being married to an angel.

[Darryl arrives at the manor covered in cuts and bruises]

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, my God. Darryl, what happened?

Darryl Morris:
I think I just got attacked by Attila the Hun.

Angel of Destiny:
There's one more battle on the horizon for you three. One unlike you've ever faced before, one you won't see coming, and one you may not survive.

Piper Halliwell:
What does that have to do with Leo?

Angel of Destiny:
The loss, the pain will motivate you, all of you to fight, without which you will have no chance to prevail.

Piper Halliwell:
Won't you please try to let us find a way to do this without Leo dying?

Angel of Destiny:
What exactly do you have in mind?

Angel of Death:
I'm not about "why" or "how", Piper. I'm simply "when".

Leo Wyatt:
I've been given a death sentence by the one guy who means it.

Victor Bennett:
Head for the slide. Up at the top, that's our way out.

Prue Halliwell:
Aah! Daddy!

Victor Bennett:
Hold on, Prue!

Prue Halliwell:
Daddy, I need you.

Victor Bennett:
I've got you. I'm not leaving without you.

Prue Halliwell:
Dad!

Victor Bennett:
I've got you. Oh, God.

Piper:
Prue, it's me leaving you another message after leaving Phoebe another message. I tried you at work, but they said you never checked in after your shoot, so where are you guys?

[Piper sees the same guy as before standing at the other end of the bar]

Piper:
Uh, look, so call me, or better yet, just show up and save me from having to perform an impending awkward rejection all by myself.

Piper:
No, don't say that. We're not surrounded until they're all around of us.

Phoebe:
Why couldn't you get a boy-band song stuck in your head like everyone else?

Phoebe:
We thought that the good guys were bad guys, in trying to vanquish them we helped the real bad guys, which were dead ringers for the good guys

Leo:
Was that English?

Caleb:
Hi, I'm Caleb.

[she shakes his hand]

Caleb:
I'm sort of new in town, and I'm looking to meet someone, someone special. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your phone call to your...

Piper:
Fianc?. Very large, very jealous fianc?.

Phoebe:
Welcome to our world, dad.

Paige Matthews:
Oh, thank God we found you.

Phoebe Halliwell:
It's too late.

Paige Matthews:
Hey, I thought only evil could touch that book.

Phoebe Halliwell:
That's right.

Piper Halliwell:
Phoebe, what's going on?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I'm embracing my new destiny. [Flames out with Cole]

[Phoebe is trying to avoid telling Cole she's pregnant]

Cole Turner:
Phoebe, what's wrong?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Why? What makes you think there's something wrong?

Cole Turner:
Because every time you lie, I can see your wisdom teeth?

Piper Halliwell:
[after blowing up a demon] What an idiot. Doesn't every demon KNOW by now whose house this is?

Prue Halliwell:
I'm just following my instincts, and they've never led me wrong before, at least not when I was really listening to them.

Phoebe Halliwell:
If you're gonna lose a guy, you might as well lose him to the Big Guy.

Prue Halliwell:
Hey, um, you can sleep in my room and I'll sleep with Piper.

Brendan Rowe:
Why?

Prue Halliwell:
Because Phoebe kicks.

Piper Halliwell:
Now, they have got the right idea.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Who, the nuns?

Piper Halliwell:
Yep, nice, safe environment.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, if you like monks.

Piper Halliwell:
Stress-free, no need to worry about guys, no wardrobe.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No wardrobe? Okay, now you're scaring me.

Piper Halliwell:
Good, then you can take it to him. I think he's in the church office.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Okay, just don't go taking any vows while I'm gone, all right?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Because I'm worried about you, that's why.

Piper Halliwell:
Oh, Phoebe, don't start.

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, Piper, something's up. You're turning down dates with a guy that you like, extolling the virtues of convent living, you've been working double shifts three times a week... this is not the Piper I know and I'm worried.

Piper:
This is ridiculous. This is like the parent trap, with a B Cup!

Phoebe:
I think I just found a way to take some of the Disney out of our lives.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
I just told you I saw your sister dead and you're relieved?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Well Andy, it's no secret that we fought at times.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I think I might have just found a way to take some of the Disney out of our life.

Phoebe Halliwell:
It could be the upstairs-bathroom-hogging Prue or the downstairs-bathroom-hogging Prue or the sitting-in-the-kitchen-drinking-all-the-coffee Prue.

Piper:
And what about the spell?

Prue Halliwell:
[pink] Oh, the spell's temporary too. We're only here as long as we're needed.

Prue Halliwell:
[blue] We were called for a reason. Once the reason's gone the spell wears out and we disappear.

Prue Halliwell:
[pink] Once we vanquish Gabriel.

Piper:
And how are we planning on doing this?

Prue Halliwell:
[pink] Funny you should ask, see I was thinking...

Prue Halliwell:
[blue] That we could find Gabriel by tracking down the ownership records to that Roman vessel.

Prue Halliwell:
[pink] And Bucklands' antiquities database.

Prue Halliwell:
[real] That's why I called my assistant... [pink Prue clears her throat] Our assistant and she's already on it.

Prue Halliwell:
[blue] Are we good or what?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
And these fingerprints are cross referenced?

Coroner:
Okay, I fingerprinted Jane Doe myself and the reference prints you asked for Prudence Halliwell came out of her birth certificate from the archives which I took the liberty of verifying through her DMV records.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
And Prue Halliwell's prints are an identical match to Jane Doe's?

Coroner:
Down to the last whirl.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
That's statistically impossible. Not even identical twins have a natural variation.

Coroner:
Then I'd get on the horn to Ripley's Believe It Or Not because as far as forensic medicine can tell, this woman is Prue Halliwell.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
You leave Ripley's out of the loop, along with anyone else who isn't me.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
I had a body on this slab. She was identical to you right down to your fingerprints.

Prue Halliwell:
Andy, I don't know what you want me to say.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
You know, ever since you came back into my life it's been one weird coincidence after another. And you don't know what to say.

Prue Halliwell:
I hit Gabriel in the chest with an axe and he didn't even bleed.

Piper:
As long as he has his sword, he's immune to the weapons of men - which we could've told you if you hadn't turned off your cell phone!

Phoebe Halliwell:
Oh, look: front clasp bra. She means business.

Prue Halliwell:
Serious business.

Piper Halliwell:
Do you mind?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, are you kidding? I think it's great - as long as he's not still on the clock.

Piper Halliwell:
That's what I mean. You guys have to get out of here before he unfreezes. I never know how long this things lasts. How much did you guys spend?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Lots. Prue's new look is perfect for an SHW.

Prue Halliwell:
SHW?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Single Hot Witch.

Piper Halliwell:
Prue, are you sure this isn't depression buying, you know, post-breakup?

Phoebe Halliwell:
[take out a red bra] Does this look like something a depressed woman would wear?

Prue Halliwell:
Hmm, maybe you should borrow it.

Piper Halliwell:
Okay, time's up. You two gotta go. Go, go in there and be quiet.

Phoebe Halliwell:
We will if you will.

Rex Buckland:
I explained this to you, Hannah. It's called astral projection. With it I can transport myself psychically and implant a subliminal thought into Prue's brain. Just like I did when I tricked her into leaving the vault today with the tiara. See, I planted the thought and made her think she came out empty handed.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You, Leo, last night, dish!

Piper Halliwell:
Umm, well, it was nice. It was... well, it was wonderful. We just had a few problems.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Problems?

Prue Halliwell:
What problems?

Piper Halliwell:
Well, it's been a while since, you know, I-I was a little nervous and I kinda kept freezing him

Prue Halliwell:
Piper, you didn't?

Phoebe Halliwell:
I didn't mean to... the first time.

Darryl Morris:
The problem is there were no signs of forced entry into the auction house or the vault.

Prue Halliwell:
So, do you think the one of the employees might have stolen it?

Darryl Morris:
A strong possibility.

Prue Halliwell:
Someone like me?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
No, don't be ridiculous.

Piper Halliwell:
[Andy opens drawer with tiara in it] Whoa!

Piper Halliwell:
Why did you do that?

Piper Halliwell:
[Piper picks up tiara] That's why.

Prue Halliwell:
Uh, no no no. Wait. That is not possible. How did it get there?

Piper Halliwell:
I don't know but you better come up with an answer quick before they unfreeze.

Prue Halliwell:
Someone must have planted it there.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Did anyone ever think that maybe he's a warlock?

Piper Halliwell:
Why is it always someone I'm dating that gets accused of being that? Don't answer that. Answer that. It's safer.

Prue Halliwell:
Somebody must have manipulated me into taking it.

Phoebe Halliwell:
The same away someone manipulated me into being a witness against my own sister.

Darryl Morris:
Any idea what they're talking about?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Not a clue.

Prue Halliwell:
You were with Rex tonight, weren't you?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, Prue, but I don't think this is the time or place to get into that.

Prue Halliwell:
No, I just meant that don't you find it a little coincidental that right when you guys start dating, all this is going on?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No, I do not. And, besides, I thought you thought that Hannah was behind all this.

Prue Halliwell:
I do.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Excuse me. Ladies, do you mind if we ask a few questions?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Mind control, astral projection, throwing charms, who knows? Prue is right about Rex, which means, I'm dating a warlock.

Piper Halliwell:
Been there, done that.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[Piper freezes guards] Totally cool power. I hate you.

Prue Halliwell:
Don't you think that I know that? I mean, how do you think I feel, Phoebe? I'm the one who got us into this situation.

Piper Halliwell:
Prue, it's not your fault.

Phoebe Halliwell:
It's not.

Prue Halliwell:
Yeah, but I'm the one that the Rex tricked. I'm the reason why we're having this conversation.

Phoebe Halliwell:
There has gotta to be a way out of this.

Piper Halliwell:
Like what? Become fugitives? Something tells me that's not the best way to go about protecting the innocent.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Yeah, well, we can't protect the innocent without our powers. And, even worse, if we give them up, we'd be giving them up to evil.

Prue Halliwell:
No, we can't let that happen.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, we can't let you die in jail, either. Besides, with you behind bars, we'll be divided. Rex wins either way.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I don't wanna have to do this.

Piper Halliwell:
Neither do I, but we don't have a choice. All we can do is take the leap of faith and hope that somehow it all works out.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Look. It was fun while it lasted.

Piper Halliwell:
How do we know this isn't just a trap?

Rex Buckland:
You don't actually. Nevertheless here you are. Powerless, I presume.

Prue Halliwell:
Where's Hannah?

Rex Buckland:
Lurking. That's what she does best. The lantern, if you please. It all feels a little anticlimactic, don't you think? Too easy, almost. It feels as if we need a more satisfying ending.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[Hannah attacks as a panther] Oh, oh. [Leo heals the Book of Shadows]

Rex Buckland:
No. Hannah, now. Quickly. [Piper freezes her]

Prue Halliwell:
Andy? What is it? What's going on?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Just thought you'd like to know you're off the hook.

Darryl Morris:
Turns out you were right. Rex and Hannah were setting you up, or whoever they were.

Prue Halliwell:
I don't understand.

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Well, we think they killed two people, assumed their identities, and took over the auction house. Then they bilked it dry and tried to cap it off with stealing the tiara.

Darryl Morris:
Which we found hidden in his office.

Prue Halliwell:
Wow, did you catch them?

Inspector Andy Trudeau:
Not yet. I don't suppose you have any idea what this was doing in his office, do you?

Piper Halliwell:
Do you really have to go?

Leo Wyatt:
Well, I've fixed everything I came here to fix. But I'll be back. Promise. [Leo kisses Piper] Nothing can keep me away from you too long.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What are you doing?

Prue Halliwell:
Just getting rid the Relinquishment spell. However we got our powers back, I certainly I don't want to risk losing them again.

Piper Halliwell:
I second that.

Piper Halliwell:
Third.

Prue Halliwell:
So, witches forever?

Phoebe Halliwell:
And damn proud of it. [Burns up spell]

Rex Buckland:
Quite photogenic. Now I should think the police will find this very interesting, to say the least.

Prue Halliwell:
Rex?

Phoebe Halliwell:
Wait. How did you know that we...

Rex Buckland:
What, that you'd be here? Well, let's just say that I've been watching your every move. Yeah, without you knowing it, of course.

Prue Halliwell:
You bastard.

Rex Buckland:
Don't get too angry, Prue. You really wouldn't want to injure me with your power. I'm the only chance you have. While you were conducting your little prison break, Hannah was retrieving the tiara from your home. You should have gotten rid of it while you had the chance. Personally, I actually thought that was an excellent idea.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Astral projection.

Prue Halliwell:
What do you want?

Rex Buckland:
Your powers, of course. That's why I hired you in the first place, you know, to see if you really were The Charmed Ones. Then I waited to test your strength, see how best to make my move, and here we are.

Phoebe Halliwell:
But why all the drama? Why didn't you just kill us and take our powers?

Piper Halliwell:
Don't give him any ideas.

Rex Buckland:
No, no, no. I have seen exactly what you can do when you've been confronted directly. That is why I opted for blackmail. See, there is a special spell in the book of shadows that strips you of your powers forever, and this device will capture those powers. Then you'll bring them to me.

Prue Halliwell:
Go to hell.

Rex Buckland:
Yeah, I'd love to, darling. I miss it terribly. And this will help me return with honors. In return, I'll give you the photo and tell the police I simply misplaced the tiara. No theft, no motive for murder, no prison. You really don't have much time, just until the prison guards realize you've escaped.

Phoebe Halliwell:
I saw him first!

Piper Halliwell:
Merging with the first quote.

Phoebe Halliwell:
[to Piper after catching her making out with a guy on the couch] Last I heard you were meeting a banker friend about the loan... [she looks over at the handsome man sitting on the couch] Is this the credit check?

Dan Gordon:
Jenny? Jenny, come on. Talk to me.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Whoa!

Piper Halliwell:
Whoa!

Prue Halliwell:
Whoa!

Jenny Gordon:
International Operator please. Saudi Arabia.

Prue Halliwell:
Saudi Arabia?

Dan Gordon:
I'm sorry. We're moving in next door. Or at least we're trying to. Our phone's not hooked up yet.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Stevie said all we had to do was to connect. Well here's the connection. [points to Kit's collar]

Piper Halliwell:
Kit's collar?

Phoebe Halliwell:
No! The triquetra.

Rob:
Clubs are an extremely high risk business, Piper. You could lose your shirt.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, it wouldn't be the first time today.

Clea:
You'd think that demons invented Reality Shows, but somehow, humans thought of it first.

Paige Matthews:
That explains how the demon knew that a witch had died last night... he watched it on TV. Pretty sick.

Leo Wyatt:
No sicker than any other Reality Show.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Paige, you're my baby sister, not my babysitter.

Phoebe Halliwell:
You're pregnant!

Piper Halliwell:
Who's pregnant?

Phoebe Halliwell:
*You're* pregnant!

Piper Halliwell:
I'm pregnant?

Paige Matthews:
How am I meant to distract those guys without using magic?

Piper Halliwell:
Well, you'll just have to use some of your God-given magic [unbuttons Paige's blouse]

Paige Matthews:
Head rush... Let's do it again!

Ramus:
My meditation requires peace and quiet.

Piper Halliwell:
Well, then you're in the wrong house, pal. Have you seen my husband?

Ramus:
He's upstairs.

Piper Halliwell:
Okay, could you tell him that I'll be at P3? He can watch over you until Phoebe shows up.

Ramus:
I'll tell him no such thing. It is your job to protect me, not his. Those are the rules.

Piper Halliwell:
Hmm. Little history lesson: I'm not a big fan of your rules. In fact, I take pride in breaking them.

The Seer/Kiera:
LEO!

Piper:
Did she just call for Leo?

Phoebe:
Ugh! I thought he was our whitelighter.

Phoebe Halliwell:
What about Grams?

Leo Wyatt:
She didn't make it.

[The basement door opens and a lot of smoke escapes. The "normal" Grams walks out coughing.]

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Nonsense. You can't damage an old warhorse like me. I'm already dead.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Are you giving me lip?

Chris Halliwell:
[stepping back] No.

[after Wyatt orbs a bottle and the slime demon attacks]

Chris Halliwell:
No!

Paige Matthews:
Excuse me. Mm, who are you?

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Penny.

Paige Matthews:
Penny. As in Penny Halliwell Penny?

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Yeah. Who are you?

Paige Matthews:
I'm Paige. I'm your grand... I'm your grandest fan. I heard so much about you.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
Far out!

Paige Matthews:
Far out.

[calendar reads January 1967]

Paige Matthews:
You have no idea how far out.

Paige Matthews:
I'm not on drugs. I'm just having a bad trip.

Paige Matthews:
Gone. That's right. That's exactly what I should be - gone, because I'm actually starting to dig th - like this. Ha! It's kind of cool, everybody being so free.

Leo Wyatt:
Listen, if you want some private coaching, there's an empty room upstairs. You dig?

Paige Matthews:
Aah. No. I don't dig.

Penny Halliwell:
May peace and love from the moon above flow through your heart on the wings of a dove.

Nigel:
Did you just try and cast a love spell on me? I'm a warlock.

Paige Matthews:
It's a little late now, isn't it? We're your granddaughters.

Phoebe Halliwell:
Hi, Grams.

Penny Halliwell:
I'm your "Grams". The "Demon Hunter"?

Paige Matthews:
Yeah and these fancy boots brought me from the future.

Piper Halliwell:
And these earrings.

Phoebe Halliwell:
And this ring.

Penny Halliwell:
You're trying to trick me.

Piper Halliwell:
No. Afraid not, Grams. Look, it's payback time. You need to get your act together. We love you, but if you don't start fighting now, all the people we're meant to save in the fut... [Warlock attacks]

Penny Halliwell:
What do I usually do at this point?

Phoebe Halliwell:
You usually do something very final if you catch my drift.

Penny Halliwell:
Snuff this warlock. His days are done. But make him good for the ecosystem? [Warlock is vanquished into a shower of flowers]

Piper Halliwell:
Now that's what you call flower power.

Paige Matthews:
[trying to call for an eight track.] Big fat tape thingy!

Chris Halliwell:
In the future, everyone tried to control the Demon With No Name. But it can't be done.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
That's hardly a winning attitude, young man. And why in heaven's name couldn't the people in the future find some name for that thing?

Paige Matthews:
[to LEO] Hey there, sun god.

Leo Wyatt:
[really embarrassed] Ha! Hey, that was a long time ago. Let's just keep that between us, ok?

Piper Halliwell:
I don't have a lot of people to hang out with, aside from my baby, who doesn't really say much, and then one *really* neurotic Whitelighter.

Penny 'Grams' Halliwell:
All this, over men! How many times have I told you, men are utensils? You use them, wash them, then throw them in a drawer until you need them again.

Phoebe:
No wait I'm only two months pregnant.

Piper Halliwell:
Let's get this straight. You guys summoned me to a cage where my powers don't work, so we can all die together?

Piper Halliwell:
Did your baby just electrocute the nice doctor man?

Phoebe:
Yeah... I think so. But he was just protecting himself, 'cause that gel was really cold.

Piper Halliwell:
Protecting himself? Unborn babies don't perform magic tricks in the first trimester, Phoebe.

Phoebe:
[pulling Piper closer] What is going on?

Piper Halliwell:
I don't know, but don't panic, okay? We'll wrap up here, and we'll go home and panic.

Darryl:
Prue asked me to check out a manager named Kellman. He paid all of Tom's bills after he disappeared, but he...

Leo:
Could be a recruiter... do you have an address?

Darryl:
[Darryl hands Leo a police file] You think Kelman's the demon? [Leo looks into the file] Well what kind of powers do you think we should expect it... [Leo orbs out. The file he was holding falls down onto a table] Oh, see, okay, now... that ain't right.

Mega-Man:
[steps into the wrestling ring] Look at this face! This is the face of pain! And I'm the bringer of pain! And I'm gonna destroy you! You could cry for mercy! But I don't know the meaning of the word!

Prue:
Alright, some people think this is entertainment.

Phoebe:
I cast a little spell

Prue:
I'm gonna win this fight and save your ass, that way I can kick it myself later.

Darryl:
You were blonde when you answered the door. How'd it change?

Phoebe:
Well, it must be because I colored my hair in that sink, so technically I lost it there and now I've found it again. I hope this doesn't affect my virginity.

Thunder:
You look at this face! This is the face of pain and I'm the bringer of pain! And I'm gonna destroy you! You can cry for mercy, but I don't know the meaning of the word!

Prue:
Alright, and people think this is entertainment.

Jeric:
We won't give up her body without a replacement.

Cole Turner:
Well, I figured. How do you feel about redheads?

Piper Halliwell:
Do you have anything that goes with combat boots? You know, for the mom to be who kicks some ass upon occasion.

Paige:
This happened way too easy, what if it's a trap?

Piper:
Who cares I'm unbreakable dude!

Paige:
Dude I'm not unbreakable.

Cole Turner:
[introducing himself to Jeric] Cole Turner. I used to be the Source of All Evil.

Darryl Morris:
[reaching out to touch Piper's stomach] If you ask me, there's nothing more beautiful than a preg...

Piper Halliwell:
[grabbing Darryl's arm] Do it, and you'll pull back a bloody stub.

Paige:
[Rubbing Piper's stomach] "Mommy"

Piper:
[throwing Paige's hand down] "Nuh" [swiping hand at Paige's hand like a smack] "ugh"

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