Dallas

[repeated line]

JR Ewing:
Oh Barnes, you just get dumber and dumber every day.

[repeated line]

JR Ewing:
You wouldn't be trying to blackmail old J.R., would you?

Kristin Shepard:
I'll kill him. I swear I'll kill him.

Alan Beam:
Take a number. There are a few of us ahead of you.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I wanna tell you something, Dr Ellby. You've been right all along. I can't rely on anyone else to do what I have to do.

Vaughn Leland:
It was crooked! And I believe you knew that! You'll regret this!

J.R. Ewing:
Is that a threat Vaughn?

Vaughn Leland:
No threat. A Promise!

J.R. Ewing:
[to Sue Ellen] I swear, you're heading at ninety miles an hour towards a nervous breakdown. Gonna have to do something about those ravings of yours.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Tell me, J.R., which slut are you going to stay with tonight?

J.R. Ewing:
What difference does it make? Whoever it is has got to be more interesting than the slut I'm looking at right now.

Kristin Shepard:
You can't scare me.

J.R. Ewing:
It takes brains to know when to be scared, honey. And since that's something in short supply around here, I'm gonna help you: now is the time to be scared.

J.R. Ewing:
[quietly] Bobby's getting weak, daddy. Just plain weak. doesn't hardly sound like a Ewing any more. [Jock nods sorrowfully]

Bobby Ewing:
There's nothing to talk about, daddy. Unless you want to talk about decency or morality, and they don't seem to be words we use around here.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[talking to Dr. Ellby about J.R] Don't you see? He's gotta be stopped. He's gonna teach my son to be just like he is and it's gonna go on and on and on!

J.R. Ewing:
[taking his seat on a plane] We are gonna have a wonderful Washington flight.

J. R. 's Mistress:
I'm looking forward to it.

J.R. Ewing:
Heh. Just wait 'till you look back on it! [laughs]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I'm just so tired of J.R. getting everything he wants and always winning.

Cliff Barnes:
So you picked me, the loser... Well I've got to tell you something: I've been beaten before, but I have never lost. Understand the difference?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[Lucy wants to have a car of her own] Perhaps we all think it would be better if someone else drove you?

Lucy Ewing:
Perhaps you don't even think?

Liz Craig:
Not quite the glamor job you had in mind?

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Hmm. Well, I knew I wasn't gonna start at the top, I didn't think I'd have to look up to see a bottom.

JR Ewing:
Once you lose your integrity, the rest is easy.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
There is nothing in this world that Jock Ewing wants more than a grandson. And I haven't been able to give him his first, because of your disinterest in me. She is pregnant, J.R.! Little brother Bobby and that Barnes girl are going to have a baby named Ewing. Maybe even a boy! Now you just think about that!

Jock Ewing:
[to Pamela] Young lady, you've heard his side all your life. It's about time you heard the truth. I put that claim in my name to keep him from gambling his half away.

Digger Barnes:
You didn't leave me nothing!

Jock Ewing:
I come back with the claim. He's drunk. He looks at the paper, sees my name, jumps me, tries to tear my eyes out. I was gonna give him half of the money.

Pamela Ewing:
Stop it. I can't stand this.

Jock Ewing:
How can he stand himself? He's been a loser every day of his life. Couldn't even kill me the time he tried.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
That's enough, Jock!

Sam:
Digger Barnes is here.

Tilly:
Say what?

Sam:
You heard me. The girl Bobby married, is Digger's daughter. So it figures Jock and Digger are bound to meet again.

Tilly:
Yeah, but from the looks of him, it happened a long time before he was ready. [indicating Jock]

Lucy Ewing:
What do you for fun?

Jimmy:
[swallowing a mouthful of food] Pool.

Lucy Ewing:
Swimming pool?

Jimmy:
Shootin' pool.

Lucy Ewing:
You don't like boys, do you?

Jimmy:
Sure do.

Lucy Ewing:
I mean... like them... you know, in that way.

Jimmy:
What way?

Lucy Ewing:
Never mind.

JR Ewing:
[speaking to Sue Ellen regarding Lucy] She changes her men like other women change their stockings.

JR Ewing:
All that matters is winning.

JR Ewing:
[to Lucy] Say, why don't you have that junior plastic surgeon you married design you a new face: one without a mouth!

J.R. Ewing:
You'd better stop drinking, Sue Ellen. There's nothing uglier than a woman who can't handle her liquor!

B.J. 'Buzz' Connors:
Miss Ewing, my name's Buzz Connors. This is, eh, Cliff Barnes.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Cliff Barnes? I've heard a lot about you.

Cliff Barnes:
Oh, I'm sure you have. I can't imagine any of it having being favorable.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Well, you're much more attractive than your reputation.

Cliff Barnes:
You're far too pretty to be a Ewing.

B.J. 'Buzz' Connors:
Cliff was just leaving.

Jock Ewing:
A job? What does she need a job for? Ewing women don't work.

Bobby Ewing:
Well daddy, Pamela doesn't consider herself a Ewing woman. And she wants a job.

Lucy Ewing:
[J.R. had called Ray a half-breed just before finding out James Beaumont was his son] Well, here you are talking about half-breeds and now you've got your own illegitimate son. Congratulations.

Cliff Barnes:
Yeah, from me too. Although I'm surprised we haven't seen more little bastards come out of the woodwork.

April Stevens:
That's enough.

Cliff Barnes:
[to Cally] Oh, don't be surprised, honey. I'm sure he's knocked up at least half the women in Texas.

April Stevens:
You're being a jerk, Cliff.

Cliff Barnes:
Don't get high and mighty on me. After all, you were once in JR's stable. [April smacks Cliff hard]

J.R.:
[Angelica secretly arms the bomb in her suitcase and hands it to J.R] This stuff looks authentic...

Angelica Nero:
I guarantee you it is!

J.R.:
You had me worried there for a while,

Angelica Nero:
About what?

J.R.:
About doing business with the woman wanted for murder...

Angelica Nero:
I'm not wanted for murder... I am wanted for questioning.

J.R.:
Same difference! If you weren't guilty. you'd answer those questions,

Angelica Nero:
Let's just say that if I did not kill them, somebody else would have... they deserved to die! As do you and Jack!

J.R.:
Does that mean you're going to kill Jack and me too?

Angelica Nero:
Some day probably...

J.R.:
[Presses his intercom on his desk] Well boys if that isn't enough I don't know what is!

Angelica Nero:
What are you doing?

J.R.:
Well I asked some friends of mine to come in to listen to this, just in case you know?

Angelica Nero:
[Det. Harry McSween enters and restrains Angelica] Call them off!

J.R.:
Well he's just doing duty, I can't interfere!

Angelica Nero:
Call them off if you don't want to die!

J.R.:
You get all you needed?

Det. Harry McSween:
We got plenty!

Angelica Nero:
You fool! You're as good as dead and so is Jack if he isn't dead already!

J.R.:
Get her out of here!

Angelica Nero:
I just want you to know it's too late! It's too late J.R! IT'S TOO LATE!

J.R.:
[Angelica is dragged from the office] Too late? My God Jack!

Bobby Ewing:
Good morning.

Clayton Farlow:
There's gonna be hell to pay.

Jock Ewing:
[Bobby finds it difficult to work with J.R] You demand your rightful share.

Bobby Ewing:
Look, I can go into the office every day and punch him out, but I don't want to live that way!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[having just learned Jock has had a seizure] I thought it was you, J.R.

J.R. Ewing:
Hoping, you mean.

Bobby Ewing:
[about Willie Joe and Jeb] They wouldn't even go to their own mother's funeral unless they thought the undertaker was gonna strike oil and their daddy'd get sick and they'd come right in.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[to Pam] You have a disgusting mouth.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
God bless her [Sue Ellen] . Neither she nor J.R. lack for ambition.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
What? You gonna hit your pregnant wife?

[JR grabs her and forces her to the mirror]

JR Ewing:
Come here, Miss Texas. I want you to look at something. Pretty ain't it? A lush! A TRAMP!

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
[pause] And the mother of your child.

JR Ewing:
Really?

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
Chances are.

JR Ewing:
You listen to me carefully, Sue Ellen. You take care of that baby, you hear? Make sure it's a happy, healthy one. 'Cause it's the only thing standing between you and the gutter!

[a picture of Pam with a call-girl and a politician is front page of the newspaper]

Bobby Ewing:
This is your style, J.R. My wife and the man that put Cliff Barnes in office.

JR Ewing:
Your wife got in plenty of trouble before you all got married. And I, I don't understand why you'd think she'd change...

JR Ewing:
[Bobby grabs JR] Hey, wait a...

Jock Ewing:
[Jock comes between them] Knock it off, both of ya! Before I beat the hell out of ya!

Jock Ewing:
J.R. If I find out you had anything to do with this, I'll kick your tail over to the next county, do you hear?

JR Ewing:
There's no sense in looking a gift horse in the mouth, Dad.

Bobby Ewing:
Ray and I got in a fight with a couple of boys in a bar last night.

Jock Ewing:
I damn wish I'd been with ya!

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Jock...

Jock Ewing:
Well, nothing I like better than a little fight now and then.

Bobby Ewing:
You know, J.R., a funny thing happened when Pamela and I saw that picture of her in the morning paper. It made us realize just how much we really needed one another. I'd sure like to know who to thank for that.

Leanne Rees:
All I ever did was sell myself. But you, you'd sell yourself, your family, your friends for power! J.R., you're a prize pimp.

JR Ewing:
You know, coming from an expert, I consider that a compliment.

[Back at Southfork Ranch in the evening. Sue Ellen is home to see Bobby that he's in the house to have a drink]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Bobby?

Bobby Ewing:
Sue Ellen, what are you doing here?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[sighed] Don't condemned me without hearing my sight of, Bobby.

Bobby Ewing:
I really don't care very much about your sight of it. You couldn't kill J.R., even he doesn't deserved that. [Bobby sits down, read his newspaper, and drink]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[sighed] I think it's a little strange to hear to defending him, as well as you know him.

Bobby Ewing:
He's my brother. And that's the bottom line. I love him.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Well... [sighed] they're very few people in the world who can make a statement like that.

Bobby Ewing:
[sighed] What do you want, Sue Ellen?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I wanted to talk to Miss Ellie.

Bobby Ewing:
What makes you she's gonna be any happier seeing her than I am?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I think see might understand what happened.

Bobby Ewing:
Even mama can only turned the other cheek so many times.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I thought she might knew where John Ross is. I want him.

Bobby Ewing:
She's in Florida. Clayton's gonna be bringing her home tomorrow.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[sighed] Do you know where John Ross is?

Bobby Ewing:
No. And I'm not sure I'd tell you even if I did.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Bobby, I'm gonna get him back one way or the other. J.R. is hardly able to take care of him from prison.

Bobby Ewing:
[Scoff] What makes you think that J.R.'s gonna end up in prison?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
For killing Nicholas Pearce, that's why! Don't you think I'm gonna see him prosecuted for that?

Bobby Ewing:
Well that make a wonderful headlines for John Ross to read, wouldn't it? Mother accuses father of killing her boyfriend. That's real love, Sue Ellen.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You don't know a damn thing about it!

Bobby Ewing:
I know it would be hard for John Ross to live with that.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You expect me to just let him get off scot free? [Lucy arrived in the living room and find out what Bobby and Sue Ellen complaining about]

Lucy Ewing Cooper:
Well, if you're a better shot, you wouldn't have to worry about that.

Jeremy Wendell:
I just want to say how sorry I was when I heard about J.R.

Bobby Ewing:
Well, that surprises me.

Jeremy Wendell:
Well, not about the shooting, about his recovering so nicely.

[Later in the evening in the city of Dallas and the Dallas Police Department. Sue Ellen is interrogated by Detective Kane about the incident]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
And so I thought the only way to get my son back was to once and for all force J.R. to tell me where he was.

Detective Kane:
And Mr. Pearce went along to help you?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Yes. But, uh, J.R. refuses to tell me. When we started arguing, J.R. pulled out the gun to threatened us. Then Nick jump him to try to get him to put the gun away.

Detective Kane:
So, Mr. Pearce was shot during the struggle?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
There was a shot, I don't know whether anyone was hit or not.

Detective Kane:
And then?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[sighed] And then they struggled out toward the balcony, and somehow...

[sighed]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
J.R. had threw him over.

Detective Kane:
He threw him over?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Yes.

[Sue Ellen drinks some cup of coffee before continuing an answers]

Detective Kane:
And then?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
And then he turned back to me. I was sure he was trying to kill me, too. So I... I pick up the gun... I couldn't believe what he'd done. And he came toward me... I killed him.

Detective Kane:
Well, you shot him. Whether he's dead or not some other question.

[Detective Kane and Sue Ellen have a seat]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You don't mean that he's still alive?

Detective Kane:
I don't know. He was still breathing when he got into an ambulance. He lost a lot of blood. We haven't heard him a thing since.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I don't believe this! You mean that bastard is still alive?

Detective Kane:
I should make you happy, at least you won't be facing murder charge.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[sighed] It'll most be worth it just knowing he's dead. But it wasn't murder. It was self defense. I already told you that.

Detective Kane:
Yes, ma'am. Well, Mr. Ewing does live might be interested here what he has to say.

[In the evening at the Dallas Memorial Hospital. Knocking on the door, is the Detective Kane to questioning J.R. Ewing while eating his dinner in bed]

Detective Kane:
Mr. Ewing?

J.R. Ewing:
Hmm?

Detective Kane:
I'm Detective Kane, Dallas P.D.

[Showing his Police Detective I.D. badge from his jacket]

Detective Kane:
I'd like to talk to you about last night, the, uh, shooting?

J.R. Ewing:
Yeah. Well, it's about time. I assume you got that fruit cake wife mine locked up.

Detective Kane:
Uh, no, sir, we don't.

J.R. Ewing:
You don't?

Detective Kane:
As a matter a fact she wants us to bring charges against you for the murder of Nicholas Pearce and attempted assault on her.

J.R. Ewing:
This a joke, right? You're not really a policeman? Somebody hired you to do this to me? Yeah, I know who. Cliff Barnes and it's sound like that moron sense of humor. Huh?

Detective Kane:
Mr. Ewing, I am who I say I am, and your wife wants charges filed against you.

J.R. Ewing:
God, it's not an option try to kill me. She's filing charges against me, too?

Detective Kane:
Well, now, you threw Nicholas Pearce off your terrace?

J.R. Ewing:
Well, of course I do. Hell, the man was intend on killing me, I just trying to protect myself, that's all.

Detective Kane:
That's not what Mrs. Ewing said.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, Mrs. Ewing is a flat out all faced liar. Uh, did you see my door in my apartment? They kicked it in, came in, threatened me, both physically and otherwise?

[Scoffs]

J.R. Ewing:
I'll tell you, I - I just did what any good Texans will do. I was defending my home against intruders.

Detective Kane:
You mean you pulled the gun on him?

J.R. Ewing:
Well, I had no choice. But I didn't start that fight. Pearce jumped me. He was pounding on me and I was trying get away. He was after me all the time. And, well, when he went over the balcony, he was only because slipped trying to pushed me over. And then I turned around, there was Sue Ellen, standing there with the gun in her hand, she looked me straight in the eye, pull trigger. You want to know why?

Detective Kane:
She says you came after her?

J.R. Ewing:
That's a damn lie. She shot me. Because her lover was dead, or didn't she tell you they were lovers, huh? Well, if you don't know, you're the only one on Dallas. Nope. Vengeance. It was vengeance, pure and simple on her part. And I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna file attempted murder charges against her.

Detective Kane:
Now, Mr. Ewing, you can both be guilty of attempted murder?

J.R. Ewing:
That's right. So the sooner you get out of here and lock that woman up the safer I'm gonna feel.

[Here is the United States and Texas flags flows next to the Dallas Memorial Hospital]

Detective Kane:
I know it's an unusual procedure, but, uh, you were the only two people there and you're telling diametrically opposed stories.

J.R. Ewing:
I told you she was a liar.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
And he's a murderer.

J.R. Ewing:
The only murder in that apartment was you, darling!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I wish I'd have been. Then I would've had my son, and you would've just been a bad memory.

J.R. Ewing:
You wait a damn minute!

Detective Kane:
Whoa. Now, whoa, this isn't what I wanted it all. Now, Mr. Ewing, do you still want us to press charges against Mrs. Ewing?

J.R. Ewing:
You're damn right I do.

Detective Kane:
And you, Mrs. Ewing?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
No. I've decided to drop all charges against him.

Detective Kane:
You are? Does this mean you're changing your story?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
No. It just means that I remember I had a son. And as much I wanna see J.R. punished. I want my son to exposed to any of this.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, I hate to see it, but she's right. It's best this never gets at trial.

[sighed]

J.R. Ewing:
I'm... willing to drop charges and forget the whole damn thing.

[Detective Kane sees that both J.R. Ewing and Sue Ellen Ewing are going to drop the charges and be dismissed]

Detective Kane:
Well, you can both drop your charges, buts there's a dead body to think about and I'm not going to call this off until I find out what did happen.

[Sue Ellen doesn't know. So does J.R., too unknown]

[Back at the Dallas Police Department in Dallas]

Detective Kane:
I'm not happy about it. But that doesn't seem to be in anyway for us to find out what really happened. I've talked to District Attorney's office, there will be no prosecution in the death of Nicholas Pearce. As far as they're concerned, this case is closed.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, if it'll make you feel better, it was an accident.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
He'd be alive today, if it weren't for you.

J.R. Ewing:
Sue Ellen, you heard the man. It's over.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
What is over is our marriage. You should be getting your divorce papers any day now.

J.R. Ewing:
Good!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
And you can kiss your son goodbye once and for all.

J.R. Ewing:
You'll never keep John Ross from me.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Just watch me.

Detective Kane:
Enough. We don't want any trouble from the two of you. This is not your personal police force. And the first one of you that gives us trouble is gonna to regret it.

J.R. Ewing:
They'll be plenty of trouble until I get my boy back.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You'll get him back over my dead body.

J.R. Ewing:
Whatever it takes, Sue Ellen. Whatever it takes.

J.R. Ewing:
How could you leave that little ninny alone in the house? If she's still at Southfork when I get back there, I'm gonna have her barbecued.

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
You moved out of Southfork, J.R. Lucy moved in.

J.R. Ewing:
Where were you when she was handing my son over to Sue Ellen?

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
I was flying back here to see you to make sure you were all right. I even worried about you. I shouldn't have.

J.R. Ewing:
Hmm. Now that female assassin's got my son.

Clayton Farlow:
He's better off with her than hidden way some school.

J.R. Ewing:
You butt out of this, Clayton. We're talking family here.

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
J.R., you keep a civil tongue in your head. Clayton is family.

J.R. Ewing:
No matter what you say, mama, he's never going to be a family to me.

Clayton Farlow:
J.R., wounds are no. I'll kick your butt around this room.

J.R. Ewing:
Oh, that's great, yeah. Attack me when I can't defend myself. That figures. Yeah, ha, ha.

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
Well, obviously, J.R., you're not suffering from any serious effect from the shooting. And there's no reason for us to stay here.

[Miss Ellie and Clayton are leaving]

J.R. Ewing:
Doesn't anybody care that I was almost killed? I was almost killed!

[Door slams]

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
If you took all the people J.R. trampled on to get to where he is today and lined them up, they'd stretch from one end of Texas to the other.

J.R. Ewing:
So you're like an apprentice angel trying to earn his wings, right.

Adam:
You've got it upside down and backwards, but close enough.

Adam:
Then why don't you just kill yourself?

J.R. Ewing:
And send you back to heaven a failure? You'll never become an angel

Adam:
[laughing] An angel. What makes you think I'm from Heaven? [evil laugh]

[on seeing the young Jason Ewing]

J.R. Ewing:
He's a damned disgrace to the Ewing name!

[observing Sue Ellen telling off her slimy agent]

J.R. Ewing:
Go on, Sue Ellen. Tell that scumbag off.

Clayton Farlow:
[to Bobby] I don't why she would have any problem with your family. Outside of JR, everyone is pretty normal.

JR Ewing:
Marilee, if you don't hurry, someone else is gonna get your street corner.

Lee Ann De La Vega:
Lee Ann Nelson should have known better than to kiss a toad named J.R. Ewing!

Pamela Ewing:
Your folks are gonna throw me right off this ranch.

JR Ewing:
[referring to Pam] I asked her how much she'd take.

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
You did what?

JR Ewing:
I tried to pay her off.

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
You jackass.

[J.R. tried to set Pam up, unsuccessfully]

JR Ewing:
I underestimated the new Mrs. Ewing. Well, I surely won't do that again.

Bobby Ewing:
Mamma don't like business talk with supper on the table, J.R.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
We are not gonna make love, J.R. Not tonight, not tomorrow. Not until the day I take my son and walk out of your life.

J.R. Ewing:
How dare you have a private detective follow me!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Why J.R., you're getting positively paranoid.

Jock Ewing:
You know, I don't remember Kristen drinking anything but white wine.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Well, maybe that's all she does around you. [Jock laughs]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You don't believe most of this, do you, Dr. Elby? That my husband is planning to commit me. That my little sister may be helping me. That I'm afraid to stay with J.R. And even more afraid to leave him.

Dr. Simon Ellby:
I believe that your husband is capable of many things that most people aren't.

J.R. Ewing:
Kristen, I just came by for a quiet drink and to see you, honey. If I want screamin' and yellin', I can go home for that.

Aunt Maggie Monahan:
[about Digger Barnes] I never knew a man to fall asleep standing up and looking right at you.

Digger Barnes:
Geologists... they couldn't find oil in a filling station.

Ed Haynes:
Pamela?

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Yes?

Ed Haynes:
Don't you remember me?

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
No.

Ed Haynes:
Well you should. I'm your husband!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You do have a way of popping up at the oddest times.

Cliff Barnes:
Like a defective toaster?

J.R. Ewing:
What do you want out of this, Mr. Haynes?

Ed Haynes:
Pamela.

J.R. Ewing:
Well I'm afraid you got the wrong Mr. Ewing. You see, my brother Bobby is married to Pamela. But I wanna assure you I will help you to see that justice is done. The Ewings would never turn their backs on a veteran.

JR Ewing:
[about Cliff Barnes] He's clean, I, there must be something wrong with the man, he's just clean!

Jock Ewing:
Nobody's gotten that far in politics and stayed clean. He's just been careful, that's all. And don't forget, he's a Barnes. There's bound to be a body in that closet someplace. Find it!

JR Ewing:
Alright, if I can't find it, I'll put it there!

Jock Ewing:
Whatever.

J.R.:
Barnes just broke the cardinal rule of politics: never get caught in bed with a live man or a dead woman.

[Cliff found out that Pam had revealed the truth to the Ewings]

Cliff Barnes:
You know, the Ewings destroy anything they get their hands on! And you're one of them now. You live with vipers, you become a viper! So why don't you go back to where you belong?

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
[shouting at J.R] How! How could you have done it? [turns to Jock] And you! You let him!

Jock Ewing:
Politics is politics.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
And that's your excuse? For taking a fine, good man and destroying him? [turns back to J.R] And you, you don't need any excuse. You'd do it for your own self-seving entertainment!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You're scared aren't you? Really scared.

J.R. Ewing:
Is that a little insight you picked up from your psychiatrist?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
No. Just from listening to you for the past eight years. It's the first time I've truly heard fear in your voice, J.R.

J.R. Ewing:
Why don't you go to sleep, Sue Ellen? You know how haggard you look in the morning if you don't get your full eight hours. [gets up to leave the bedroom]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Are you gonna visit my sister and spend the night? It's gonna be quite a change for her. I don't think she's ever been to bed with a poor man.

Bobby Ewing:
[to Pamela] The irony of everything is that the Ewings are going to be destroyed, but not by your brother, but mine.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
How did you find me?

Cliff Barnes:
Does it matter?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Well, it matters to me. I already have one man who likes having me followed around by private detectives and I don't need another man doing the same thing.

Bobby Ewing:
I don't feel like celebrating. Pam finds out what you did to her brother, that's the end of our marriage.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, that's like killing two birds with one stone, I guess. [snickers and starts to pour himself a drink]

Bobby Ewing:
You can leave your celebrating to me. [walks up to J.R. and tries to punch him in the face, but Jock comes between them]

Miss Ellie Ewing:
I may never forgive you for this, J.R.

J.R. Ewing:
[on phone] Hank, if you don't strike oil within the next week, Ewing Oil is out of business and so are you, boy! [hangs up] Typhoon!

Kristin Shepard:
J.R., I'm sorry.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, that's not for you to worry about, I'll write you a nice reference.

J.R. Ewing:
You know I'd work for you for nothing.

J.R. Ewing:
I know it, I know it, I know it.

Kristin Shepard:
Well maybe Mr. Leland will give you an extension on the Southfork mortgage. It's due next week.

J.R. Ewing:
Now listen, that is defeatist talk, I don't want to hear any more about it. Why don't you go do some filing or something? I got some phonecalls to make.

Bobby Ewing:
Daddy it's... it's not your fault.

Jock Ewing:
Well, maybe it is, Bobby. I trained J.R., thaught him everything he knows. Gave him the fever for big business. But I never taught him when to stop.

Bobby Ewing:
[after telling Jock he wants out of Ewing Oil] I want out! I almost did something today that I never would have been able to forgive myself for.

J.R. Ewing:
Almost? That mean you didn't sign with Westar Oil?

Bobby Ewing:
So you know about Westar, do you? Well, I can't say I'm too surprised.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, Bobby... I built Ewing Oil into a power because I knew everything that was happening in Dallas. I still do. That's how you run a successful business.

Bobby Ewing:
Well, maybe you're right. And maybe you can't care for the people.

[turns to Jock]

Bobby Ewing:
I wanted to run this company on the up and up, Daddy. Only after awhile, the deals became more important than the people. I was borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, all the time pretending it was for the right reasons. And then I realized, after a while, that you can only lie to yourself just so long... that I could pretend that whatever was good for Ewing Oil was all right, but it's not. It's not all right for me.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, if you didn't sign with Westar, that means you blew the deal with Jordan Lee and the cartel. And on top of that, we still owe them $12 million, money we don't have.

Jock Ewing:
Is that true, Bobby? Did you go back on your word with the cartel?

Bobby Ewing:
I hate to disappoint you, J.R. But we're just fine with the cartel.

[turns back to Jock]

Bobby Ewing:
I phoned Jordan Lee and I told him why I couldn't go in on the deal with him. Then I put him together with Nick Hammond, Hammond Oil? Nick agreed to take over our part of the investment completely, with the blessing of the cartel.

[Jock smiles]

Bobby Ewing:
We're in real solid with 'em, Daddy. Till they find out J.R.'s back.

J.R. Ewing:
You're crazy, Bobby. You lost us millions of dollars.

Bobby Ewing:
Well, I'm sure you'll find a way to get it back. You're very good at that sort of thing. A lot better than I wanna be.

[Bobby walks out]

J.R. Ewing:
Well, if that don't tear the rag off the bush. He almost bankrupts us, he leaves, and I gotta cover his tail. I tell you!

[chuckles]

Jock Ewing:
Just what are you talkin' about, J.R.? Nothing wrong with the company! We got a refinery we didn't have before, plenty of product. We're even back in with the cartel. I'm proud of the way Bobby acted. He showed people that the Ewing name stands for something! He's a hell of a son! And a hell of a man!

Jock Ewing:
Miss Ellie, I have some wonderful news for you.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
[noncommittal] Do you?

Jock Ewing:
I do. Bobby's giving the business back to J.R. and staying on at Southfork. [she gives him a stony stare] Well, I thought that would make you very happy.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Do you think I care who's running Ewing Oil? Don't you understand what's happened?

Jock Ewing:
[bewildered, shrugging] Miss Ellie, I don't have the slightest idea of what you're talking about!

Miss Ellie Ewing:
My son Gary. I've lost him forever. Now that your Ray Krebbs is running Southfork, Gary will never be back. There's no place left for him.

Jock Ewing:
[sighs] It's what Gary wants.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
And now Ray Krebbs, who hasn't one drop of Southworth blood in him, is running my daddy's ranch. You know how much Gary's coming back meant to me. I'll never forgive you for what you've done to him... and to me. You and Ray Krebbs. [she walks off]

[Jeremy Wendell reveals himself as the one responsible for Ewing Oil's demise]

Jeremy Wendell:
[referring to the portrait of Jock] Now. Get out of my building! And take this eyesore with you.

JR Ewing:
WENDELL! You touch that painting and I'll *kill you where you stand*!

[JR goes and takes the portrait down]

JR Ewing:
[to John Ross] John Ross. *This* is Ewing Oil. Let's go, boy.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
[driving in her car, talking to Bobby on the phone] The doctor says everything looks fine, he thinks I can carry a baby the full term!

Bobby Ewing:
Oh honey, that's wonderful!

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
How's Christopher?

Bobby Ewing:
He's great! We spend the whole day together!

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
You know Bobby we both better spend more time with him especially now...

Bobby Ewing:
Pam, he's going to be fine. Now you hurry up and get home, if we're going to have another baby we've got some work to do!

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Well if that's the case I'll be home in ten minutes, bye!

[she puts the phone down and doesn't see a oil tanker has pulled out in front of her. She screams and tries to swerve but it's too late. Pam's car hits the side of the tanker and explodes]

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
It must be a strain always being so charming and witty, Guzzler.

The Guzzler:
Matter of fact, Pam, it is.

Jock Ewing:
Guzzler, lets you and I go in and have a taste of brandy.

The Guzzler:
Sir, I thought you'd never ask.

Jock Ewing:
I wanna find out if you're still a champion drinker.

The Guzzler:
Yes, Sir!

J.R. Ewing:
Well the next thing you know, the name of that actress is gonna be 'Farah Fawcet-Guzzler'. I never heard a man talk so much in my whole life. Babbles on like a... blue idiot.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Simmer down, Guzzler. I'm not here because of your charm.

The Guzzler:
Well if it's not my great body you're after, then forget it,'cause it's too early in the morning to talk.

Bobby Ewing:
[Bobby and the Guzzler are in the Ewing swimming pool] Come on, sweetheart, join us!

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Oh no, you boys go on and play, I'll go upstairs and blow up your rubber duckie.

JR Ewing:
A marriage is like a salad: the man has to know how to keep his tomatoes on the top.

Dr. Herbert Styles:
Lots of men have tried to run roughshod over me. I'd be happy to show you their tombstones.

JR Ewing:
Yeah, well I'll bet none of those men were named J.R. Ewing.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Cliff, maybe I won't need you after tomorrow... but tonight I need you... I really need you.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, I got to hand it to Sue Ellen. Never in the world would I have thought of that man.

Dan Marsh:
Shall we continue or surveillance?

J.R. Ewing:
Yes... I suppose it's time we do something... about old Cliff Barnes...

J.R. Ewing:
Barnes, I should'a killed you out in that field when I had the chance.

Cliff Barnes:
Look, I can't explain it. J.R. just pushes certain buttons and mayby I got to learn to play the other man's game.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
So that's what it is, just a game?

Cliff Barnes:
No.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
The winner takes the marbles and goes home. Is that what I am, just the marbles?

[JR just found out Cally is pregnant as she prepares to drive off]

J.R. Ewing:
If you think for one second I'm going to let you raise our child in that little hick town, you've got another thing coming!

Cally Ewing:
It doesn't matter what you think, 'cause you're not the father!

[starts the ignition]

Cally Ewing:
JAMES IS!

[speeds off]

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Garrison...

Garrison Southworth:
Hello Ellie.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Oh my God... all these years, I... I thought you were dead.

Garrison Southworth:
I know. That's the way I wanted it.

Jock Ewing:
[about Garrison] Been away for 40 years and all he talks about is Digger Barnes.

Garrison Southworth:
Well, I see the feud's still going on.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Well it makes some people happy.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[about Garrison Southworth] Well, that old man is not gonna cheat my child out of his inheritance!

J.R. Ewing:
Sue Ellen, the Ewings are on Southfork to stay, honey, I'll take care of that.

Garrison Southworth:
[referring to J.R] You've trained this one well, Jock. He opens his mouth, I can almost see dollar signs rolling out.

Cathy Baker:
I told you, Garrison, I would never lie to you.

Garrison Southworth:
Why not, I've had enough honesty. Lie to me!

Miss Ellie Ewing:
I'm not angry any more, Jock. At least I found out you love this ranch as much as I do. I'm only sorry I found out this way.

Bobby Ewing:
You really think my ego is that big?

Jenna Wade:
Used to be.

Bobby Ewing:
When?

Jenna Wade:
I remember that day it made you really happy when I pushed Dotty Maypack into the pool because you asked her to the movies.

Bobby Ewing:
[they both laugh] I was only twelve years old at the time.

Jenna Wade:
Well, most men don't get much older than that.

Donna Culver:
[about Ray] What do you think of him?

Dave Culver:
He doesn't say very much.

Donna Culver:
Well, that's because he's not a politician. I mean, he doesn't talk unless he has something to say.

J.R. Ewing:
A jealous woman is never a very pretty sight.

Kristin Shepard:
And what about a jealous man? Is that what I have to do to get your attention? Find myself a lover?

J.R. Ewing:
It might be worth a try. I'll see you in the morning. [leaves]

Jenna Wade:
You know, I think this is where you kissed me the first time.

Bobby Ewing:
No it ain't, it was in a barn.

Jenna Wade:
[giggles] Men! You never remember anything.

Bobby Ewing:
That's not true. It was in a barn and I remember very well. [gives her a little kiss] It was in a barn and I was scared out of my mind, and I was ten years old. Remember?

Jenna Wade:
Hm-hm. I remember.

J.R. Ewing:
[talking to Ray about Donna] You know, Sam used to say that she was, eh, she was the real politician in the family. If she ever decided to run for public office, she'd win by a landslide. And I believe it, I really do. Yeah, with all that loot he left her and her looks, there's just about nothing in the world she couldn't have. Which is why it just beats hell out of me how you think she's gonna be happy living in a cabin on Southfork, barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.

Ray Krebbs:
What did you think of that movie?

Donna Culver:
I liked it, didn't you?

Ray Krebbs:
I'll tell ya, I was so busy reading the subtitles I hardly had a chance to look.

Donna Culver:
It is a habbit you'll be getting used to.

Ray Krebbs:
I don't know about that.

J.R. Ewing:
[to Sue Ellen] I wouldn't be at all surprised if the first word this child learns is 'where's mamma?'

Kristin Shepard:
I'm sorry, J.R., the only thing I had to eat in the kitchen was caviar.

J.R. Ewing:
Kristen, when you learned about all the ways to please a man, you got an A in bedroom and flunked kitchen.

Kristin Shepard:
We'll, I'd learn if I had a man to cook for.

Matt Devlin:
How did you ever get involved with Jock?

Miss Ellie Ewing:
What do you mean?

Matt Devlin:
Love of the land, open space. You told me Jock's oil wells ruined the country's line. Your daddy hated him for that.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
My daddy hated all oilmen. Not just Jock. But daddy had a feeling for the land that only a rancher could know.

Matt Devlin:
Or a rancher's daughter?

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Yes.

Lucy Ewing:
Pamela, how's your daddy?

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Well, he's really very sick. Thank you, Lucy.

J.R. Ewing:
You mean drunk? A lot of that going around.

Cliff Barnes:
Sloan, I might have to work with ya, but I don't have to like you.

Lyle Sloan:
You're still sore 'cause I almost put you in jail for the murder of Julie Grey, hm?

Cliff Barnes:
How did you guess?

Sheriff Fenton Washburn:
You got a powerful enemy there, gentlemen. That Barnes is real gung ho on this case.

J.R. Ewing:
I knew it, I knew it! That man just won't quit. An old derelict's body is found on Southfork, and he's gonna make it look like the biggest case since Bonnie and Clyde.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
I feel I'm betraying Jock.

Matt Devlin:
It's not a betrayal to fall in love.

Reporter # 1:
Apparently, Cliff Barnes was a moving force behind this arrest. Do you have any comment on that?

J.R. Ewing:
Yes, it's something Mr. Barnes dreamed up. He's hated this family since the day he was born.

Bobby Ewing:
The whole thing is a personal vendetta, that's all.

Reporter # 2:
Mr. Ewing, how do you feel? [pushes a microphone under Jock's nose]

Jock Ewing:
I'm mad as hell, boy!

Scotty Demarest:
J.R., you were only a kid, but you're old enough to have killed Hutch McKinney.

J.R. Ewing:
I don't find that particularly funny.

Scotty Demarest:
Well, I didn't mean it to be funny. Miss Ellie could've killed him also.

Scotty Demarest:
What the hell you getting at?

Scotty Demarest:
There are five people in this room. And out of this group here, only one, just one could not have killed Hutch McKinney, and that's Bobby. Because he was busy getting born.

Jock Ewing:
Well, aren't you gonna ask me if I killed him?

Scotty Demarest:
I don't deal in guilt or innocence, I deal in acquittals.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Well, if your daddy goes to jail, then you'll be in charge of Ewing Oil again. Are you trying to tell me you're not on Cliff Barnes' side?

J.R. Ewing:
Sue Ellen, after nine years of marriage you still don't know much about me, do you?

Cliff Barnes:
[Bobby has pushed Cliff against a wall] Get your hands off me!

Bobby Ewing:
And what are you gonna do about it, have me arrested too? You want a real murder charge? Damn it, I'll give you one: yours!

J.R. Ewing:
I'll tell you one thing: no matter how the case comes out, I'm gonna drive Cliff Barnes outta the state of Texas.

Bobby Ewing:
You're gonna have to stand in line behind me, brother.

J.R. Ewing:
Always knew that you didn't do it, dad.

Jock Ewing:
Well, the way that prosecutor was going, I was beginning to believe I did.

J.R. Ewing:
I'm sorry about having to testify against you. I sure didn't wanna do that.

Jock Ewing:
Well, you did what you had to do, J.R., and you did it like a man.

J.R. Ewing:
Sue Ellen, what are you doing right here in the middle of the courthouse, drinking?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Isn't that what you've always wanted? You should be surpremely happy.

J.R. Ewing:
Here, use this mouthspray. Here! My daddy's in enough trouble without you sitting in the courtroom smelling like a distillery.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
Is that an apology? I don't believe my ears. Your daddy must have given you a tongue-lashing last night, J.R. Because what I am, you made me. And you're stuck with me. You and your precious family.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
[Sue Ellen is being committed to Fletcher Sanitatium] Don't leave me here, J.R.

J.R. Ewing:
I've got no choice, Sue Ellen. You can't take care of your own life, much less the life of your child. And I can't trust you to keep your mouth shut when you've been drinking. We've both got too many secrets to risk them getting out.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
I'll be careful, J.R. I promise.

J.R. Ewing:
Damn right you will. At least until the child is born. Now it's best for everybody, darling.

[the men in white coats drag Sue Ellen away]

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
Please don't, J.R. I'll do anything you say. Anything. Just don't...

J.R. Ewing:
[calls out to the men] You boys take care of her now!

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
I'll get you for this, J.R. if it's the last thing I do. I don't know how yet, but I'll get you...

Ray Krebbs:
Have you been drinking?

Lucy Ewing:
[extremely woozy] You know I don't drink anything... but milk! [giggles]

Miss Ellie Ewing:
[to herself] I gave you up too soon, J.R. I should have held on to you a little longer...

J.R. Ewing:
You were carried into this house drunk last night. My momma saw you, my father, everybody in the family.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
Obviously it wasn't you who did the carrying.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
You're power hunry. You're like your daddy in that. But he has redeeming qualities. His love for his sons, for one. I don't know that you have any redeeming qualities, J.R. Is there anyone you love?

Cliff Barnes:
[cheerful] Hi.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
[coldly] Hello Cliff.

Cliff Barnes:
Hello Cliff? What is this? No sisterly peck, no warmth, no affection?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
If I had only met you first, Bobby. I would have married you instead of J.R. You are so kind, and strong, and loving. Just like a man should be.

Cliff Barnes:
[confronted about his affair with Sue Ellen] No, look, believe it: I fell in love with her.

Bobby Ewing:
The only time you fall in love is when you look in the mirror! [pushes him onto a couch]

Cliff Barnes:
[tearing up at the sight of Sue Ellen's new born baby] Well I know he's mine, and if he lives, he's gonna be raised a Barnes, not a Ewing. I swear that!

Jock Ewing:
Damn it! I am not an invalid. The day I start taking orders from anybody is the day they bury me.

J.R. Ewing:
[Bobby and J.R. suspect their father may be having an affair] I know it's hard to believe some times, but daddy's only human. And if I know that lady - and I do know that lady - she wouldn't object.

Jock Ewing:
I'm looking forward to rompin' around with that grandson of mine.

Julie Grey:
You're sure it'll be a grandson?

Jock Ewing:
I got J.R.'s word for it.

Julie Grey:
I wanted to apologize.

J.R. Ewing:
A two-day apology? That sets some sorta record, don't it?

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
J.R., it sounds to me like Cliff was almost killed this morning.

J.R. Ewing:
Killed? What, with me there, he was never safer in his life. [gives her the old J.R. grin]

[the kidnappers find out they have Bobby instead of J.R]

Al Parker:
Holy! We... we got the wrong Ewing!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[Sue Ellen and Cliff share a moment when they notice J.R. is coming] Eh, any. Eh, news yet, Mr. Barnes?

Cliff Barnes:
No, no, not yet.

J.R. Ewing:
Sue Ellen, I know your manners are impeccable, but there are some people there's just no need to be polite to. [takes her away from Barnes]

Cliff Barnes:
I never thought I'd be glad to see you.

Bobby Ewing:
You look pretty good yourself.

Al Parker:
Save the reunion, gentlemen!

Al Parker:
Look, don't panic, all right? Just don't get panicky on me.

Will Hart:
I told you I didn't wanna come to Texas in the first place. They don't fool around round down here!

Cliff Barnes:
[on phone at Southfork] I wanna talk to Ewing.

Al Parker:
[on other line, in phonebooth] No.

Cliff Barnes:
I wanna know that he's alive.

Al Parker:
He's alive.

Cliff Barnes:
Come on, man, be reasonable. You want one million five, I want proof.

Al Parker:
I don't gotta be reasonable, I got Bobby Ewing!

Clayton Farlow:
[to J.R] Look, you refugee from from a stud farm, don't push your luck!

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
If you do anything to hurt that young man, you are going to wake up one morning and find out you no longer have a wife, even in name only... and you will no longer have a son. So no threats J.R or I will end this mockery we call a marriage once and for all.

Ray Krebbs:
[to Donna] Look, eh, I'm not real good standing around out here in the middle of all this making small talk. If I don't at least touch you pretty soon I don't know if I can stand it.

Jock Ewing:
You're mama means a hell of a lot more to me than Ewing Oil. I should be spending more time with her, especially right now.

J.R. Ewing:
Hey Pamela, you working this late? [Pamela does not answer] Hey, you better be careful. All that overtime money is gonna push Bobby up into a higher income tax bracket.

J.R. Ewing:
[Sue Ellen is asleep and J.R. is angry & drunk] Sue Ellen, you tramp... The trouble you've caused me... I'm gonna see to it that your lover, the wonderful Mr. Clifford Barnes, is gonna end up on the street. And that goes for his sister, too.

Bobby Ewing:
[referring to the skeleton that was found on Southfork property] Strange. I wonder who he was. J.R., you didn't shoot somebody when you were a kid and just forget to tell us, did you?

J.R. Ewing:
Bobby, I don't think that's particularly amusing.

Bobby Ewing:
[grabs J.R. by his neck tie] If you keep sticking your nose in my business, I'm tonna stuff it in your ear!

J.R. Ewing:
Say, you know, it, eh, might not be a good idea to leave Bobby too much alone at night. Know what I mean? Heh heh. Until he met you, Bobby was the stud in Dallas. Might still be, for all I know.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Maybe you haven't heard, J.R., Bobby's not standing at stud anymore. He retired when we got married. He left the field wide open for you. Of course, from what I hear, that still leaves the field wide open. [turns his back on him to enter the house]

J.R. Ewing:
Anytime you wanna find out, it can be easily arranged.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
[turns round and looks at him with a mixture of surprise and disgust] Don't bother, J.R. Even if I weren't married to Bobby, you aren't man enough.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, I was certainly man enough for me and Sue Ellen to produce a son and heir. Something which you and Bobby seem incapable of.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Sue Ellen and Cliff!

JR Ewing:
Well, hello Clayton. Come to take mama out?

Clayton Farlow:
Yes, we're going out to dinner.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
She'll be down in a minute. Oh, excuse me. Clayton Farlow, Roy Ralston.

Roy Ralston:
How do you do?

Clayton Farlow:
Oh yeah, you're the fellow that has the talk show J.R.'s been on.

Roy Ralston:
Yes I do. I'm sure you share my enthusiasm for J.R.'s appearances on my show.

Clayton Farlow:
Not really.

Roy Ralston:
Well, J.R.'s becoming the champion of the underdog. "I have a feeling he'll be leaving for Washington right after the next election.

Clayton Farlow:
Well, Dallas's gain'll be Washington's loss!

Eleanor Southworth Ewing Farlow #1:
Clayton, I'm so sorry I kept you waiting.

JR Ewing:
No more than we are, mama.

JR Ewing:
[to Ray Krebbs] Boy, you're just one dumb ole cowboy, ain't you?

J.R. Ewing:
[taking a sip from Kristen's coffee] That woman just cannot make a decent cup of coffee!

Miss Ellie Ewing:
[to Jock] A long time ago, you walked out on a sick woman. If I get sick, are you gonna walk out on me?

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Some women worry that if they aren't perfect in all ways, they can't keep their man.

Bobby Ewing:
Well maybe it's time that... they understood that a man can love a woman so much that nothing matters, as long as they're together.

Dr. Simon Ellby:
You know, we've never even discussed how you really feel about an extramarital affair. Does it offend you?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Well, it doesn't seem to be bothering J.R.

Dr. Simon Ellby:
Sue Ellen, you're not J.R.

Alan Beam:
Vengeance is stupid unless you make something on the deal.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Well I have never met a man yet who thought of brains when he first looked at a woman.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Women don't just exist for men. We exist for ourselves, first.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Not if you are married to a Ewing.

Digger Barnes:
If it wasn't for Jock Ewing, we'd be married right now. We'd be on top of the world. I'd be rich. I'd have my own oil company. I'd be respected and powerful. Jock Ewing... ruined it for both of us.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
No Digger, you wouldn't have changed. And neither would I.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Jock, I was very hurt when you told me about Amanda.

Jock Ewing:
I never meant to hurt you.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
But if you hadn't told me about her, I would have found something else to try and drive you away.

Jock Ewing:
Drive me away? Why?

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Because I was so afraid of losing you after the operation.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Digger may have his shortcommings, but he's always been honest with me. Which is more than you've been.

Jock Ewing:
He's a blowhard, a liar and a bullthrower! And I don't like it one bit that you're defending him to me.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
You can be very callous and very cruel and right now, I don't want you around.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
My daddy swore there'd never be any drilling on this land. So did I.

Jock Ewing:
Well, if I could do anything about it, Miss Ellie, I'd do it.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Whatever needed doing, should have been done years ago.

Jock Ewing:
What do you mean?

Miss Ellie Ewing:
I mean J.R. You instilled in him a desire for power and money. Doesn't seem to care about anything else. Not even his home.

Bobby Ewing:
I'm still your brother.

J.R. Ewing:
Bobby, as far as I'm concerned, I'm an only child.

J.R. Ewing:
Kristen, place an overseas call to Hank Johnson at the drilling site.

Kristin Shepard:
Right away.

J.R. Ewing:
What time is it over there, anyway?

J.R. Ewing:
It's about two a.m.

J.R. Ewing:
Good. He's half asleep, he won't lie to me.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You are wrong. I love my son!

Cliff Barnes:
You can't love anyone. All you can do, is use.

Lucy Ewing:
[Baby John is crying] Is little John all right?

Mrs. Reeves:
He's fine, he's just hungry. I'm gonna warm his bottle. He started on meat today. He loved it!

Lucy Ewing:
Of course, he's a Ewing.

Lucy Ewing:
[about Little John] But don't worry about him, Sue Ellen, his cousin Lucy will teach him how to survive in this family. I'll show him how to grow up without parents and make the whole world pay.

Ray Krebbs:
Boy, some people dig holes and find oil, all I find's a skeleton.

J.R. Ewing:
Hey now, wait a minute, isn't anybody gonna say something like: "Thank you, J.R., for making us billionaires"? Mama, daddy, I did this for you.

Jock Ewing:
You just gambled our home, that's all. And that sure as hell ain't anything to be proud of, J.R.

J.R. Ewing:
Bobby, you know, I just can't believe you that and I have the same mama and daddy. You're just too danm good to be rich, you know that?

Linda Bradley:
Oh my land, you will not bellieve who just walk in the door.

JR Ewing:
Anything worth having is worth going for-all the way.

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
Your husband may be dying and you're out gallivanting around someplace.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
I wasn't gallivanting.

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
Then where were you?

Kristin Shepard #2:
Sue Ellen was sick.

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
Sick. You mean DRUNK!

Miss Ellie Ewing:
I've never known Jenna to show up and not cause trouble.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
[close to tears] God, Bobby, I need you! But if you can't stay away from her, stay away from me!

Miss Ellie Ewing:
[the Ewing women are watching Cliff Barnes withdraw from the run for congress] Poor Digger. This must be a big disappointment to him.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Some people deserve to fail.

Lucy Ewing:
Alan must be miserable. He really thought Cliff had a chance of winning.

Cliff Barnes:
You interviewing my daddy? Sit down.

Debra Johns:
As a matter of fact, he's given me a story that my paper would like to print. But I need your corroboration, because it could prove extremely embarrassing to J.R. Ewing.

Cliff Barnes:
Anything that can embarrasing him has got to be true.

Jock Ewing:
We'll take care of Cliff Barnes. Noboby is gonna talk about the Ewings and get away with it.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
What are you going to do about it?

Jock Ewing:
I know one thing for sure: we can't kill him. But I'll guarantee you one thing: before we get through suing him, he'll wish that he'd never messed with us.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
My mamma says: a lady doesn't dignify an insult by answering it.

Jock Ewing:
J.R., will you tell your wife to sign the damn paper so we can get out of here?

J.R. Ewing:
Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. If these tests embarrass me publicly, and it's proven that Cliff Barnes is the father of that child, I am gonna get the quickest divorce in the history of the state of Texas. And you, my dear, can walk the streets before I'll give you a dime.

JR Ewing:
The world is littered with the bodies of people that tried to stick it to ole J.R. Ewing.

Alan Beam:
Was that J.R. you were talking to just now?

Kristin Shepard:
Aha.

Alan Beam:
Well, why didn't you put me on?

Kristin Shepard:
He only had time for his most urgent messages. Flunkies aren't urgent.

Bobby Ewing:
Dancing with your best girl sure beats fighting with her, you know that?

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
I think anything beats fighting.

J.R. Ewing:
Alan, I'm not that stupid, and you're surely not that smart. Now don't lie to me, boy.

Alan Beam:
You want the truth? I'll give it to you. Lucy and I have been spending a lot of time together. And we're very much in love.

J.R. Ewing:
In love?

Alan Beam:
Why not? She's pretty. And intelligent. And nice.

J.R. Ewing:
And rich. Don't forget rich.

Kristin Shepard:
[refusing to connect Serana's phone call through to J.R] I'm sure he'll be back, but he does take long lunches. Why don't you try again in say in about... six weeks.

Alan Beam:
You know how important I am to J.R.

Kristin Shepard:
For now. You're replaceble.

Alan Beam:
What's replaceable is a secretary who do most of her work on her back.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
You have nothing to worry about. I have no intention of releasing the film - at the moment.

J.R.:
What the hell does that mean?

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
It means the movie will be locked securely in a vault. However, if I think you're coming after me - or if you cross me for any reason - or if I feel you're not doing well for John Ross, or anyone else for that matter- or if I get up on the wrong side of the bed one morning - or if I'm simply bored - then I will release the movie. And then, J.R., you will be the laughing stock of Texas.

J.R. Ewing:
Sue Ellen, I hope you're not thinking of taking advantage of my absence.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Well, of course not, J.R. There's no need to worry. I intend to be just as discreet as you are.

Valene Ewing:
[about Miss Ellie] She's desperate to see you, Gary.

Gary Ewing:
I'm sorry, Valene. She'd just drag me right back into that family.

Valene Ewing:
No, no, no, she said she wouldn't.

Gary Ewing:
Yes she would! She's a lady who thinks family. She can't think any other way.

J.R. Ewing:
That's Eugene Bullock over there, he's just as rich as Croesus, has his own fleet of tankers.

Eugene Bullock:
Sally, tell Ewing why you married me.

Sally Bullock:
Money.

Eugene Bullock:
[J.R. laughs] Ain't she wonderful? Perfect. Hell, I'd rather leave it to her than those weasels I bred.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
I wish I could give you a wedding of some kind.

Valene Ewing:
Well, maybe when we let everybody in on it, you can. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, we can get married every year, over and over.

Jock Ewing:
She holds me responsible for running Gary off. But I loved your brother, you know that. But it broke my heart when I found out he didn't have any guts.

Jock Ewing:
I... believe I have a son getting married here today. I'd like to attend the ceremony. If I'm welcome.

J.R. Ewing:
Sue Ellen, why didn't you call me and let me know what was going on?

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Well, maybe it's because I don't care anymore who rules the roost at Southfork. Or maybe, it's, eh, because I enjoy seeing you not get what you want.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, If I lose, you lose, too, honey. Just remember that.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Well, maybe I don't care about that anymore either.

[J.R. has promised to help Gary find a job]

J.R. Ewing:
[on phone] Tom, what's the name of that company I asked you to liquidate?

Tom:
[on other line] Q&R, makes those byproducts.

J.R. Ewing:
Eh, I want you to re-activate it and rework the books so that, eh, Q&R looks like the IBM of Texas. And get the books out here just as soon as you can.

Tom:
Now Mr. Ewing, I don't think I heard you right. Now that company is a loser.

J.R. Ewing:
Fine, fine. I found *just the loser* to run it!

J.R. Ewing:
[about his brother, Gary] He's a loser, Sue Ellen, been a loser every day of his life. Now if he's wants something, he's gonna lose it all by himself. No, he'll mess up this visit without any help from me. You can count on that.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[Gary intends to stay on Southfork with Valene] What are you going to do about Gary?

J.R. Ewing:
I'm going to do what my family wants me to do. Become just what they want me to become.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
And what exactly is that?

J.R. Ewing:
My brother's keeper.

Valene Clements:
[Gary has just left Southfork for good] So what's my future?

J.R. Ewing:
None around here.

Valene Clements:
Any choices?

J.R. Ewing:
Well... $5000 and an escort out of the state.

Valene Clements:
Any others?

J.R. Ewing:
An escort out of the state. [Val attempts to slap his face but J.R. catches her hand]

J.R. Ewing:
[Val is outside wearing a nightie, having just said goodbye to Gary] You'll catch your death on a morning like this.

Valene Clements:
I'll catch my death anywheres around you.

J.R. Ewing:
Then don't hang around me, honey.

Valene Clements:
[to J.R] You have taken everything from me. My child and my husband. The one thing you can't do is buy me with your Ewing money.

Lucy Ewing:
Daddy, I was just telling mamma that, since neither of you got married again, you both must still be carrying torches.

Gary Ewing:
Oh, you see, if I carried a torch I'd have blown myself up a dozen times from all the alcohol on my breath.

[Lucy, having been told her mother took J.R.'s money and left, smacks J.R. across the face hard]

J.R. Ewing:
[rubbing his face] In the old days, they used to kill the bearer of bad news. Guess I got off lucky.

JR Ewing:
Well, last night we went to the Oil Baron's and we ran into that termite brother of yours!

Pamela Ewing:
Are you talking to me?

JR Ewing:
Anyone else in here gotta termite for a brother?

Pamela Ewing:
Just Bobby.

JR Ewing:
Don't worry about her; the good Lord has ways of looking after drunks like her!

JR Ewing:
[regarding John Ross] He doesn't have a mother! I don't have a wife, you don't exist! You're just a bad memory that refuses to go away.

J.R. Ewing:
[JR is forcing himself on Sue Ellen after seeing her with Dusty Farlow] Why don't you pretend I'm that cowboy? That ought to make you smile!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You disgust me!

[calmer]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You want a woman? Why don't you go see if my little baby sister will oblige?

J.R. Ewing:
You're right. I've wasted more than enough time on *you* already. [JR leaves]

Lucy Ewing:
[Lucy goes up to Alan Beam after J.R. sends him away from the ranch] Well, I just wanted to say hi. Guess I'll see you around some time.

Alan Beam:
Not if your uncle has anything to say about it.

Lucy Ewing:
He doesn't.

Kristin Shepard:
Sue Ellen, you'd better be careful. You're beginning to make a spectacle of yourself.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I think you've supplied enough dramatics for one afternoon. Nobody's going to pay any attention to me or what I do.

Kristin Shepard:
You're forgetting J.R.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Believe me, I keep trying.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I've got to hand it to you, Kristen. It took me eight years to figure out J.R. You managed to do it in, eh, few short months.

Kristin Shepard:
I don't think I quite understand what you're getting at.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I was referring to my, eh, husbands little idiosyncrasy of always wanting what someone else wants - or has.

Bobby Ewing:
Digger, you're leaving if I have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you off this ranch.

Ray Krebbs:
Pretty rank-looking bulls, huh? Old Adrian Parker brought them in for us special from Fort Worth.

Cowboy:
You ride any of them broncs before?

Ray Krebbs:
[scoffs] I might've rode one of their daddies.

Lucy Ewing:
Oh shoot. My uncle J.R.

Kit Mainwaring:
So what?

Lucy Ewing:
Nothing makes him meaner than the sight of people enjoying themselves.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You're overdoing this 'Mr. Nice Guy', J.R., someone might suspect you're up to something.

Bobby Ewing:
Just when I think I know how low you are, J.R., you surprise me and reach a whole new depth.

Lucy Ewing:
[to Pamela] This is supposed to be my birthday party. Grandma is making out the invitation list. Sue Ellen is gonna hire some old-fogy band. And J.R.'s gonna use it for one of his big deals. And now you're gonna buy my clothes. I HATE THIS FAMILY!

Lucy Ewing:
Look at me! I don't take up much room, but I seem to be getting in everybody's way.

Lucy Ewing:
Why won't any of you listen to me?

J.R. Ewing:
Maybe if you spend a little less time chasing Betty Lou and more time trying to get Lucy to name the date, you might be a little more successful.

Alan Beam:
What do you know about Betty Lou?

J.R. Ewing:
Everything that's important.

Muriel Gillis:
You liked 'Madame Bovary'?

Lucy Ewing:
I think it's beautiful. It's a great love story.

Muriel Gillis:
Hey... are you for real? It's like Dr. Forrester has you hypnotized. You're turning into a real grind. For the past few weeks, ever since we've started his class you've done nothing but talk about school!

Lucy Ewing:
[about J.R] You know, I believe he'd really like to see me flunk out of school.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, now Lucy, if you wanna be the first member of the Ewing family to get your Ph.D, you just go right ahead.

Bobby Ewing:
[to J.R] Now are you gonna be a good boy and get out of my office, or am I gonna have the pleasure of bouncing you out of here on your nose?

Cliff Barnes:
You can tell Bobby Ewing, that you can take your legal assistant's job and stuff it! I'll rot in hell before I'll accept a handout from a Ewing.

J.R. Ewing:
[about Alan Beam] What does that little snake got, anyway? I mean, I can understand a nitwit like my niece going for that line of blabber, but... not a pretty, intelligent girl like you... Betty Lou, Alan Beam is a liar and a cheat. And whatever he's promised you, he's not gonna deliver. So the way I look at it, I got two ways of breaking up this marriage: with you or without you.

J.R. Ewing:
Bobby, are you job-hunting for your brother-in-law?

Bobby Ewing:
Yes I am. He's in pretty bad shape.

J.R. Ewing:
Are you out of your mind? Don't you realize that anything you get him, it's just gonna backfire on us?

Bobby Ewing:
He is defanged and declawed and we can't do anything more to him. We've won. He's defeated, J.R. What more do we need?

J.R. Ewing:
The only time he's gonna be out of our hair is when he's six feet under and then I wouldn't trust him not to come back and haunt us!

J.R. Ewing:
[Alan Beam returns to his apartment and finds J.R. already there] You two-timin' double-crossin' little rat.

J.R. Ewing:
[hands his half emptied glass to Sue Ellen] Here, why don't you finish this for me, Sue Ellen? And maybe you ought to start drinking again. At least when you were drunk you didn't talk so much.

Valene Ewing:
There's only two things in this world that I love: your brother Gary and my little girl. And I don't believe that I can stand living without us at least being friends.

Jock Ewing:
Bobby, J.R. thinks you ought to run down to Austin and call in some of our markers.

Bobby Ewing:
What sort of markers, daddy?

Jock Ewing:
Any kind that'll set a barn fire under the OLM.

J.R. Ewing:
They got us over a barrel, Bob. And I mean a barrel of oil.

Valene Ewing:
You think money's the answer to everything to you, don't you?

J.R. Ewing:
I think it's an answer to you. And you're using Lucy to get at it.

JR Ewing:
It'll be sub-zero in hell before I let you work here.

Cliff Barnes:
Sharpen up your ice skates, JR. It's gonna be a long winter.

Cliff Barnes:
I've told you before, that after six o'clock, Mr. Spider turns into a prince.

Julie Grey:
Too bad I'll never see the transformation.

Cliff Barnes:
Yes you can, if you'll have dinner with me.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
[raising her voice] Stop that! Stop that shouting in this house!

Julie Grey:
I gave the file to Cliff Barnes.

JR Ewing:
Why?

Julie Grey:
I liked the way he made love. I thought he deserved a reward.

JR Ewing:
Do you love him?

Julie Grey:
I don't love anybody.

J.R. Ewing:
Sue Ellen, you're a drunk. And a tramp. And with your history there isn't a court in the State of Texas that would let you have him

Sue Ellen Ewing:
No... J.R., you can't be serious. You couldn't do that to me. You couldn't take my son.

J.R. Ewing:
My son.

Donna Culver:
How is it you always know exactly what to do to cause the most harm, and you always do it with such unerring instinct? If I didn't know better, I'd swear you made a pact with the Devil!

J.R. Ewing:
Are you trying to flatter me or insult me? I can't make out which.

Donna Culver:
I can promise you this: Dave and I are gonna take up where Cliff Barnes left off. We'll destroy you!

J.R. Ewing:
Oh, by the way, your wife is home.

Bobby Ewing:
Already?

J.R. Ewing:
Yeah.

Bobby Ewing:
You didn't happen to mention Jenna's name to her, did you? By accident of course.

J.R. Ewing:
Bobby, I'm sorry, I- I did let it slip.

Bobby Ewing:
Yeah. You know, you did a good day's work yesterday breaking up Donna and Ray. That should be enough for one week, don't you think? Even the Lord rested on the seventh day. [turns his back and enters the house]

J.R. Ewing:
Donna and Ray... [smiles contently, puts on his hat and walks to his car]

Miss Ellie Ewing:
J.R., as far as your concerned, the whole state of Texas could be a concrete slab. Including Southfork. [Jock laughs at this]

Jenna Wade:
Aren't you interested in keeping your husband? We're not schoolgirls, Pam. We both know that men like Bobby don't grow on trees.

J.R. Ewing:
Why is it everybody always thinks I'm up to something, huh? Explain that to me.

Kristin Shepard:
I keep telling you, Sue Ellen, I know exactly what I'm going to do with my life. And being hurt is just not part of the plan.

Wally Kessel:
You're using Ewing money to get the Ewings. I got to hand it to ya, boy, you sure did grow up devious.

Cliff Barnes:
No, that's just a recent development.

Bobby Ewing:
[on phone] Look, Pamela, what's the sense? As long as you think that Cliff is Sir Gallahad and the Ewings are the forces of evil, I think there's no sense of talking.

JR Ewing:
[to Marilee Stone] By the way honey, your a little too old to be running around without your clothes on.

[a reporter has breached Southfork security and is questioning Ellie]

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Do you know what we do to vultures out here, Mr. Jackson? Ray, get me the shotgun out of the hall closet.

Ray Krebbs:
Yes, ma'am.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
[Ellie is holding a shotgun] Now Mr. Jackson, anybody on my land without invitation is a tresspasser. So unless I see your tail heading out of here right now, and fast, I'm gonna blow it off.

Ken Jackson:
[scared] Yes ma'am, yes ma'am! [turns and makes a run for it]

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Now get out of here! Get out!

Lucy Ewing:
As hard as it may be for you to believe, I'm not money hungry like you are, Sue Ellen.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You brat! [tries to slap her, but Lucy deflects the blow with her arm]

Lucy Ewing:
That's right, I'm a Ewing brat. A born Ewing.

Lucy Ewing:
[to Sue Ellen] I bet you're real sorry that you don't have a little brat of your own, like me. 'Cause if J.R. is dead, without a child you'll never have Southfork.

JR Ewing:
You're a drunk!

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
Joan of Arc would be a drunk too if she was married to you.

JR Ewing:
[tearfully as Bobby begins to flatline] Don't do this to me, Bobby! Don't leave me.

[Miss Ellie just found out the Justice Department is gunning for the Ewings, causing her to break down in tears]

Clayton Farlow:
J.R.! You're POISON! [starts beating him up]

Clayton Farlow:
You keep stinking up our lives! And it NEVER ENDS! [continues punching him]

Cliff Barnes:
[Cliff just caught his secretary taking down the Ewing Oil sign] What is going on here?

Jackie Dugan:
I thought now that you own Ewing Oil, you'd want to change the name.

Cliff Barnes:
Are you crazy? Not only do I want the name to stay 'Ewing Oil', but in big bold letters underneath I want it to say 'Cliff Barnes, President'! Then I'm going to take a picture of it and send it to J.R.

[Dusty has come back with a surprise for J.R]

Steven 'Dusty' Farlow:
I see you're still wheelin' and dealin' and one-upping everbody like always.

[John Ross has informed J.R. of his intention to stay in England, for good]

J.R. Ewing:
[angrily] Do I have to come out there and pound some sense into you?

John Ross Ewing:
Just TRY IT! You have no legal claim on me whatsoever! Why don't you go play with James and his *stupid* baby, 'cause I'm never coming BACK!

[hangs up]

J.R. Ewing:
Don't forget, I do control the voting rights to 25% of Westar.

Carter McKay:
Oh, right. Clayton gave them to you. They carry a lot of weight. But maybe the rights aren't enough. Don't you need the shares to go with them?

J.R. Ewing:
[grinning] Don't worry. I'll get those soon enough.

Steven 'Dusty' Farlow:
Not this time, J.R.

Steven 'Dusty' Farlow:
I knew those shares were going to be more trouble than they were worth. So I was happy to sell them to Mac.

Tom Owens:
[unrepentant] This ain't gonna buy you a place in heaven, Ewing.

J.R. Ewing:
Hey Bobby, where's Pam? Y'all have another argument?

Bobby Ewing:
She's working late, J.R.

J.R. Ewing:
Short of cash, are you?

J.R. Ewing:
[annoyed that Lucy is having contact with Valene] I knew that tramp mother of hers would start filling her up with false hope if she came back to Dallas.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Somehow the role of social worker doesn't fit you, J.R.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, she is my niece.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Well, I'm touched by your concern with children. I'm just sorry you didn't adopt me instead of marrying me.

J.R. Ewing:
[her sarcasm is not getting through to J.R] Hm. What?

J.R. Ewing:
Now hold on, Ray, you're just a hired hand around here, don't try to shift the blame on me!

Jock Ewing:
[talking about his past] I was wildcatting. Ah... tough times. Men shooting, killing each other. You know, things like... like happened today.

Jock Ewing:
All right, maybe I did lean on you too hard. But it seems to me you've waited a hell of a long time to get revenge.

Tom Owens:
I didn't want revenge. I wanted to spit in your eye.

Jock Ewing:
Then what's all this?

Tom Owens:
You crushed me like a bug. And after 32 years you don't even remember my name. You're gonna pay for that. [aims his rifle at Jock]

J.R. Ewing:
You bring a sheriff?

Bobby Ewing:
There's no law in Land Down. And damn little help.

Jock Ewing:
I don't remember you, Owens, but I should have. Because you got a lot of pride. And when you get right down to it, that's all a man can take to his grave.

Pamela Ewing:
Power, money, and control mean nothing to me. I want a nice, ordinary life with my husband.

JR Ewing:
[to James] You got no morals, you got no scruples, You may just be worthy of me yet.

[Gary has offered to help J.R. run Ewing Oil, just after Ray did]

J.R. Ewing:
So, Gary, you want to help run the company too? Well, I don't need your help, or your pity. I only had one brother and he's dead! No one can replace him! Least of all you two!

J.R. Ewing:
[alone after the funeral service] Never really told you how much you meant to me. All the fights, all that time butting' heads with one another I'm sorry we were never friends. I wish I'd taken time to tell you that I loved you... I do... and you tell Daddy I love him too. Goodbye, Bobby. I miss you!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I'm not an alcoholic.

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
But, you *are* Sue-Ellen!

J.R. Ewing:
Of course, you didn't know. How could you have known? You were too busy rollin' around in bed with that saddle-tramp. Or maybe it was gettin' stinkin' drunk at some motel.

Clayton Farlow:
J.R., stop it!

J.R. Ewing:
You're never around when anybody needs you. John Ross almost died; Bobby did die. All you ever think about is yourself.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
That isn't true.

J.R. Ewing:
Get out of here, Sue Ellen. Go back to your cowboy, go back to your bottle. I don't care where you go, just *get out of my sight!*

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
After the funeral, I want you to go back to California, to your own life. Bobby was Bobby, but you are you, and I don't want you to think that you have to stay here and try to take his place.

Gary Ewing:
Oh, I could never take his place... but I could be here for you.

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
And if I thought that you would be happy here, that would be wonderful. But you can't live your life as a replacement for Bobby. You're my son, and I love you with all my heart, but we don't have to be together to keep that love.

Gary Ewing:
No, I guess we don't.

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
You've been through a lot, Gary. I can feel a strength in you that you've never had before. Well, for the next few days, I'm going to need that strength. J.R. and Sue Ellen, Jenna, little Charlie, they're all in pain. They all need me. So for a while, I'm gonna lean on Clayton, and on you, because I know you'll be there.

Gary Ewing:
It's about time, Mama. It's about time.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Where is my son, you bastard!

J.R. Ewing:
Where you'll never find him.

Nicholas Pearce:
That's not good enough! Where is he?

J.R. Ewing:
None of your damn business, Pearce!

Nicholas Pearce:
I'm making it my business! Now do you tell me or do I start tearing you apart!

[Shoves JR]

Nicholas Pearce:
You are one sorry excuse for a man.

J.R. Ewing:
Get out of here.

Nicholas Pearce:
Not without some answers! And believe me, I will truly enjoy kicking the crap out of you!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Where is he, JR!

J.R. Ewing:
[JR pulls a gun] You're trespassing! If I have to use this, the law will be on my side, so get the hell out of here!

Nicholas Pearce:
You don't have the guts to use it!

J.R. Ewing:
[to Sue Ellen] Call off your gigolo, honey!

[Nicholas jumps JR and two get into a major brawl]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
NOOOOOO!

[the brawl continues with JR dropping the gun. The fight goes out onto the balcony where Nicholas plunges to his death]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
NOOOOOOO!

[Sue Ellen picks up the gun, JR turns to face her, Sue Ellen shoots him three times]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[On the phone to the police] I'd like to report a double murder. This is Sue Ellen Ewing.

Cliff Barnes:
[to Alan Beam] It's no disgrace to do battle with J.R.

Jock Ewing:
Well, you're doing a good job, Bob. You just keep coming at Barnes from the front and leave J.R. and me to handle him from the tail.

Lucy Ewing:
[J.R. and Alan Beam's fight has made the gossip columns] Well, it says here Alan Beam would've wiped you out if granddady hadn't stopped him.

J.R. Ewing:
It doesn't say anything like that.

J.R. Ewing:
[on phone in office] Hello Alan, what can I do for you?

Alan Beam:
[on other line] For starters, I need more money.

J.R. Ewing:
[sighs] For what it's cost me already I coud've had Barnes elected king of the Holy Roman Empire!

Alan Beam:
[laughs] It all takes money, J.R.

Alan Beam:
[on phone with Lucy] I can't wait to watch you handle me like you do your grandaddy.

J.R. Ewing:
[to Cliff Barnes] You have succeeded in becoming the *perfect* failure! I just don't believe it. [diabolical laughter]

J.R. Ewing:
[J.R. has just been flirting with Kristen when Sue Ellen comes out in a bathing suit] Sue Ellen? Pretty hot out here. Maybe we ought to go back upstairs.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Oh?

J.R. Ewing:
Yeah, it's early yet. We got plenty of time before I have to go to work.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[gives him an ice-cold look] I love your sudden urges, J.R. They're almost as romantic as, eh, your daddy's pet bull.

Kristin Shepard:
[Kristen is serving hors d'oeuvres to the Cartel members in a low cut top] Mr. Bradley...

Andy Bradley:
Guilty as charged.

Kristin Shepard:
Mr. Lee...

Jordan Lee:
Just what I like.

Kristin Shepard:
Mr. Luce...

Wade Luce:
I sure am, honey! [guffaws]

Kristin Shepard:
You said it, I didn't.

Wade Luce:
Hey, she's fast, too! [more raunchy laughter]

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
But you know it would help if everybody wasn't under so much pressure from you.

Cliff Barnes:
That is not going to change until I break J.R.

Kristin Shepard:
I need a little time to think. Can you understand that?

J.R. Ewing:
I'm not exactly a patient man.

J.R. Ewing:
Nothing's gonna stop me now, Vaughn. And Mr. Barnes can go straight to hell.

J.R. Ewing:
Why you little rascal. [stands up and walks over to Kristen] You're what they call a devious wench.

Kristin Shepard:
Why J.R., I thought you liked devious.

J.R. Ewing:
I love devious.

J.R. Ewing:
Kristen, with your mind and your body, it just might take me a lifetime to figure you out.

Kristin Shepard:
J.R., you just pushed all the right buttons. [they kiss passionately]

J.R. Ewing:
If you don't wanna fight Cliff Barnes, just tell me. Just come out and say so.

Bobby Ewing:
Look, I'm as commited as you are to getting Cliff Barnes out of office but it doesn't entail a daily trip to Austin. Unless you're trying to cover up something down here. And I'm not talking about your considerable attention to your wife's sister.

JR Ewing:
Don't forgive and never forget; Do unto others before they do unto you; and third and most importantly, keep your eye on your friends, because your enemies will take care of themselves.

J.R. Ewing:
[Lucy is going out on a date] Makes me feel old...

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Junior, you were born old.

Lucy Ewing:
Lets go dancing.

Roger Hurley:
[unenthusiastic] Dancing?

Lucy Ewing:
Dancing makes me very affectionate.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
You and I will not live as man and wife. From now on, it's seperate bedrooms and seperate lives.

Jock Ewing:
How long has it been since I told you I loved you?

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Well, when was the last time Haley's comet appeared?

Jock Ewing:
[smiles] Well, now, it hasn't been that long ago.

J.R. Ewing:
Sue Ellen, you want it all. You want the Ewing name, the privileges, the freedom to act like a tramp, and that's all you ever did want.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Believe it or not, J.R., I loved you when I married you.

J.R. Ewing:
That's a long time ago. Been a lot of action since then.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
On both our sides.

Digger Barnes:
Son, if a man's not a father, he's gonna be a child the rest of his life.

Bobby Ewing:
Now we're friends, aren't we, Luke? [Luke nods] Well friends don't just say goodbye and never see each other again.

Luke Middens:
Can't say about that, I never had any friends.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Cliff, you are so consumed with hate for the Ewings, I don't think you know how to love any more.

Cliff Barnes:
I learned a very valuable lesson about power from the Ewings: if you wanna help the little guy, you have to operate from a postion of strength.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
Well, since you've had it, all you've done is try to destroy Ewing Oil.

Cliff Barnes:
No, I've stopped the oil companies from raping the land.

Sly Lovegren:
...Maybe Cliff just put two and two together.

JR Ewing:
If Barnes put two and two together, he'd get three.

Lucy Ewing Cooper:
Charlie, that's an unusual name.

JR Ewing:
[after Sue Ellen has come into his bedroom for sex, and then gets up to leave] Well, I'll be damned if you can come in here any time you want and use me like some stud-service!

Sue Ellen Ewing:
What other possible use could I have for you? Good night.

Sen. Sam Culver:
How's Ellie, Jock? Same stick of fire as she always was?

Jock Ewing:
Oh, she's mellowed some, but still all woman.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[J.R. is whistling while pouring a drink] You seem mighty happy with yourself tonight, J.R. You managed to evict some widows today?

J.R. Ewing:
You keep drinking like that, and you're gonna be evicted onto a trash heap, dear.

JR Ewing:
Ray never was comfortable eating with the family. After all, we do use knives and forks.

JR Ewing:
[after Mitch walked out on Lucy] Lost another one, did you, sugar? Hell, I got to hand it to you, you sure can pick them. A pansy, a crook, and an up-and-coming pauper. You are a veritable magnet for losers and failures.

Lucy Ewing Cooper:
At least I can't do any worse than Sue Ellen, can I?

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
I *am* Takapa!

Cliff Barnes:
I have a job to do. I intend to use the full power of this office to bury J.R. Ewing.

Julie Grey:
[Cliff is eating junk food] Well for a politician you sure take rotten care of your most valuable possession.

Cliff Barnes:
What?

Julie Grey:
Your mouth.

J.R. Ewing:
You're supposed to be in Midland. Now what are you doing here in Dallas?

Charlie Waters:
Well I got this girl...

J.R. Ewing:
I pay you enough for six girls.

J.R. Ewing:
Are you gonna punch me out?

Bobby Ewing:
No, I'm not.

J.R. Ewing:
Good. 'Cause you're younger and stronger than I am, and I don't look forward to having dinner with our mother with a split lip. Lets eat.

Cliff Barnes:
[Cliff is in jail] Oh, there's Bobby Ewing. He must have come to bug my cell.

J.R. Ewing:
You've wrecked me at the cartel, you know that. Stripped me of all my power.

Bobby Ewing:
That's wonderful, J.R. You forged daddy's will, set Cliff Barnes for a murder, and all you can think about is your power.

Bobby Ewing:
It's your Red File, isn't it, J.R.? I mean that's everything that you didn't think I was ready to see.

J.R. Ewing:
Well, you are my baby brother. Some of the stuff's pretty gamey.

Bobby Ewing:
It's the old Barnes and Ewing feud again, isn't it? Well I love you Pamela and I want you back with me. But you got to remember I was a Ewing when you married me, and I'll be a Ewing till I die. If you think you can live with that, then you call me. [walks away from her without looking back]

Don Lockwood:
[to JR] Sue Ellen would have had a normal life if it weren't for two big mistakes... She married you twice.

Cliff Barnes:
When I'm through with Ewing Oil, they're gonna be wiped out. Flat broke.

Digger Barnes:
I never wanted that.

Cliff Barnes:
See, but I can do it. J.R. tried to stop me but he can't. He's tried every trick in the book, he just happens to be fresh outta tricks.

Digger Barnes:
You know you get to sound just like one of them? One of the Ewings! I only want what's coming to me. I don't want to see Jock Ewing flat broke.

Cliff Barnes:
He's gonna be flat broke! That's simple justice. Just the way it is...

J.R. Ewing:
Bobby, because of your brother in law, Ewing Oil has become an endangered species.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
Don't you think we have talked about me quite long enough? How was California?

Kristin Shepard:
Hm. Well, pleasant. We were in a lovely apartment hotel. But the men there were so... unsubstantial. The ones I met were either married, in therapy, gay, or all three.

Bobby Ewing:
You got books, Lucy? I thought you were gonna try and get through college without them?

Lucy Ewing:
Oh Bobby! [laughs]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
The child is my punishment, J.R. He reminds me that I was used by two cruel men and that I let my emotions get in the way of my good sense.

J.R. Ewing:
Well I've accepted the child, now surely...

Sue Ellen Ewing:
[interrupting] J.R., you have always been too generous with your affections. It is your one big fault.

Alan Beam:
Well here, have some coffee. Tastes like that oil you used to pump.

J.R. Ewing:
I wanted a lawyer, not a comedian.

Alan Beam:
I was born devious, J.R., just like you.

Bobby Ewing:
Baby John, if your Aunt Pamela doesn't get ouf of here and go to work, she's gonna be fired. And you know how we Ewings depend on her salary to make ends meet.

Lucy Ewing:
[talking about Kristen Shepard] Och, you know she's a witch, Ray. She's gonna cause trouble the first chance she gets, you just wait and see.

Ray Krebbs:
Well, you're just worried about losing some of the attention around here. I mean, when it comes to causin' trouble, I think you want exclusive rights.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Sue Ellen, Pam told me that the doctor says the baby is just just fine, he's gained four ounces.

J.R. Ewing:
Yeah, he's gettin' to be a regular little fatty, isn't he? [laughs]

Jock Ewing:
Yeah, just like his daddy. [pats J.R.'s belly]

John Ross Ewing #2:
So are you gonna marry my mom, or what?

Don Lockwood:
[clears throat] Ah... actually... no. Does that make you feel better?

John Ross Ewing #2:
Lots!

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
John Ross, what is wrong with you?

John Ross Ewing #2:
It took me a long time to whip Dad's new wife into shape. Cally was hard work. I'm not in the mood for another big job.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
I want you to apologize right now!

John Ross Ewing #2:
You're the one who asked me what's wrong.

Don Lockwood:
It's OK, Sue Ellen.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
No, it's not OK. He's being incredibly rude.

John Ross Ewing #2:
What do you expect? How do you talk to a guy who's never played baseball?

Don Lockwood:
Well, I played cricket. Does that count?

John Ross Ewing #2:
Any sport named after an insect has gotta be lame.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
That's enough!

John Ross Ewing #2:
Why can't you find someone like Uncle Cliff? At least he doesn't say "toMAHtos". I mean... can't you find a boyfriend who speaks English?

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
You go wait for me in the lounge. Come on! Up! Go on!

[John Ross leaves]

Don Lockwood:
I kind of liked his line about cricket.

[Jeremy Wendell has propositioned Sue Ellen]

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I would rather sleep with J.R. than sleep with you, and I would rather sleep with a *circus freak* than sleep with J.R.!

Teresa:
There is a Mrs. J.R. Ewing at the door.

J.R. Ewing:
What the hell is Sue Ellen doing here?

Teresa:
It's not that Mrs. Ewing, sir.

[in walks Cally]

JR Ewing:
I wouldn't give you the dust off my car.

Calpurnia Elizabeth 'Callie' Harper Ewing:
Well, I'm real surprised. You're nothing like J.R said. He said you were a hopeless drunk and you cheated on him all the time and you neglected your child.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
And I'll bet right after he said all that, you went to bed with him.

Calpurnia Elizabeth 'Callie' Harper Ewing:
How did you know that?

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
Just a wild guess. Excuse me!

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
J.R., I want to talk to you.

J.R. Ewing:
Hello, darlin'. I thought you'd be real busy building marinas or something. What are you doing at the Oil Baron's Ball?

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
Slumming! I just met your child bride. Tell me, what Junior High School were you cruising this time?

J.R. Ewing:
That's real funny darlin'. I'm sure you can find someone else around here to annoy.

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
J.R.! You got that little girl into your bed by telling her I was a drunk and a cheat and I neglected my child!

J.R. Ewing:
Well, it's true. Just ask anyone here.

[Sue Ellen knocks J.R. to the ground with one punch]

Carter McKay:
I'm sorry, Sue Ellen. Is there anything I can do?

Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing:
Short of killing J.R., there's nothing anybody can do!

Carter McKay:
Well, I'm not ready to do that yet.

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
[to Bobby Ewing] If I did give you power then you've got nothing. Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you take.

Bobby Ewing:
[Bobby arrives at the Cattlemen's Club] Well, this looks like some kind of party! Why wasn't I invited?

J.R. Ewing:
Well, sit down Bobby! We've got a lot of room, a lot of booze!

Bobby Ewing:
[icily] Well thank you, J.R. That's real kind of you. Maybe you can explain something to me. Like why wasn't I told that Daddy was going to pull ten million dollars out of Ewing Oil accounts? Did that slip your mind?

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
[gently] Now you just hold on, Bobby. J.R. don't discuss my business with you or anybody else unless I tell 'em, you understand?

Bobby Ewing:
[still seething] OK, Daddy. Then why didn't you tell me? Didn't you think I should know?

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
I was gonna tell you tonight.

Bobby Ewing:
Tonight? I want those kind of things discussed with me before you act, not after! Your dealing behind my back makes me look like a fool!

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
[tersely] Now just what the hell are you talkin' about?

Bobby Ewing:
I... I called Les at the bank and asked him to transfer twelve million dollars from the account.

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
So what? We got a hundred times that much.

Bobby Ewing:
I'm talking liquid assets! Cash, Daddy... cash! And we don't have that amount! And you know why? 'Cause you TOOK ten million dollars!

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
[rising to his feet and toe to toe with Bobby] You're damn right I took it. It's mine!

Bobby Ewing:
That money belongs to Ewing Oil!

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
And who in the hell do you think Ewing Oil is? It's ME! Ewing Oil belongs to me... and don't you forget it, boy!

Bobby Ewing:
And you gave me Ewing Oil to run, in writing! And that makes you obliged to consult me before you do anything that concerns that company!

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
Obliged! You telling me that I'm obliged to ask you how to spend my own money? Any damn way I see fit?

Bobby Ewing:
That's right! You gave me the power to run that company, and dammit, I intend to run it!

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
So I gave you power, huh? Well, let me tell you somethin' boy, if I did give you power, you've got nothin'! Nobody gives you power. Real power is something you TAKE!

Bobby Ewing:
[nods slowly with a sigh] Well, I'm gonna remember that.

John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.:
You do that. [Bobby turns and walks out in a huff... Jock sits back down]

JR Ewing:
That's O.K. honey, Bobby doesn't have a capacity to forgive and forget like I do. That's a shame, damn shame.

J.R. Ewing:
[regarding Pam] Well, everybody can see that she's cracking up. Slowly and surely. And who can blame her? I mean, she finds out that her daddy, Digger Barnes is no relation at all and her real father is a saddle tramp and a thief. And her mother's a whore! Now who could find it in their heart to hate, that poor little girl, huh? Could you?

[Bobby punches J.R. in the gut. Jock comes between them before Bobby can land a second punch]

Jock Ewing:
Now you knock it off! Both of you! You watch that temper of yours, Bobby! [Bobby turns and leaves] And you, J.R., watch that mouth of yours!

[Ellie turns to Jock after seeing Amanda and realizing just how sick she really is]

Miss Ellie Ewing:
Oh, my darling, I'm so sorry.

[the news of the nationalized oil fields in SE Asia is on TV]

Jock Ewing:
[shouting] How much did we lose?

J.R. Ewing:
Well, Daddy, the way I look at it, we just made ourselves a killing.

Jock Ewing:
[Miss Ellie urges Jock to go visit Amanda] Well, if I do go, I want you to come with me. I don't want anything in my life to be kept secret from you again. Ever.

Jordan Lee:
[running his fingers through Kristen's hair] J.R. is a true friend and a prince among oilmen. He just cut me in on the sweetest deal of my life.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You must be up to something real nasty, J.R. I haven't seen you look so nervous since you almost lost Southfork.

[JR sees Farlow with his wife at the drunk tank]

J.R. Ewing:
FARLOW!

[JR attacks Dusty]

J.R. Ewing:
What the hell are you doing here? You let go my wife, you HEAR!

Dusty Farlow:
Settle down, JR. I'm WARNING you!

J.R. Ewing:
You bastard! I ought to tear your head off right now!

[Back at Southfork Ranch in the evening. The car just drove to the entrance. Miss Ellie is standing there looking at the fireplace for awhile, and get a cup of tea to drink, and sat down in the chair. But J.R. is back home]

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
J.R.?

J.R. Ewing:
Mama. Are you all right?

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
We found Sue Ellen.

J.R. Ewing:
Oh, well. Lucky us. Is she upstairs? Has she made a fool of herself?

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
Listen to me.

[J.R. turn back to his mother]

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
She's in the detox ward at the county hospital. The police found her passed out in the alleyway and threw her in the drunk tank. When I couldn't reach you, Clayton and I went there to get her. By the time we got there, she'd gone into convulsions. The D.T.'s, they call it. She was taken to the detox ward. She's there now, barely alive.

[J.R. sighs]

J.R. Ewing:
We are we gonna do?

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
You, J.R., what are you going do?

J.R. Ewing:
I don't know.

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
Well, I do. You're going to face this problem once and for all. I won't let you run away from it or pass it on to me or Clayton or Dusty or the police. Sue Ellen is your wife. And as long as she is, she's your responsibility. I don't care what shape your marriage is in. She's a woman that we have loved and a woman that has loved us. She's the mother of your son who still needs her. She's a member of this family, J.R. She is a Ewing. And your personal feelings don't change any of that or at anyway excuse you from helping her.

J.R. Ewing:
She won't listen to me, mama. She doesn't want my help.

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
She doesn't want anybody's help. She's sick.

[J.R. regretted]

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
And she'll kill herself if you let her. Which is exactly why you have to make the decision for her.

J.R. Ewing:
What decision?

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
You've ask me for my support before. Now you've got it. You have to commit Sue Ellen to a sanitarium where we can at least begin to help her.

J.R. Ewing:
She'd never agree to that.

Miss Ellie Ewing Farlow:
She has no choice. And neither do you. I'll back you up, J.R., but you've got to lead the way. Tomorrow.

[J.R. will forget tomorrow and he'll remembered. J.R. will take break and sit in a chair next to the fireplace]

J.R. Ewing:
Tomorrow.

James Richard Beaumont:
You know something, I think you look right at home here.

J.R. Ewing:
Don't get used to it. 'Cause when I get out I'm gonna destroy you!

James Richard Beaumont:
No threats, J.R.

J.R. Ewing:
That's no threat. Now get those release papers to the desk and get me out of here.

James Richard Beaumont:
Uh-uh. Daddy. It's PAYBACK TIME! You're in here for GOOD!

J.R. Ewing:
WHAT!

Attendant #1:
Let's go, Ewing!

J.R. Ewing:
He's got my release papers!

James Richard Beaumont:
Not anymore! [tears them up]

James Richard Beaumont:
[as JR is being dragged away] Enjoy your stay!

Lucy Ewing:
[to Ray Krebbs] Look, I like you to be there when I need you. And I don't like it when you're not around.

Lucy Ewing:
Ray, you're a fool if you're giving up me for Garnet.

Ray Krebbs:
Honey, this has nothing to do with Garnet.

Lucy Ewing:
That's good, 'cause you're not gonna have her for very long. J.R. wants her. What J.R. wants, J.R. gets.

J.R. Ewing:
Krebbs, I want you off Southfork by sun up.

Ray Krebbs:
I was gonna leave, But I think I just changed my mind about that. I'm staying now. You want me off that ranch, you're gonna have to get Jock to fire me if you can.

Ray Krebbs:
If you slip up just once, J.R., then I'm gonna be there to make sure you never get up again! You understand?

Bobby Ewing:
J.R., you have one unholy knack, for making every good friend you ever had into an enemy.

J.R. Ewing:
Does Ray give you enough?

Garnet McGee:
He gives me everything he's got. And if he had more, he'd give me that, too. There aren't a lot of men like him.

Ray Krebbs:
[looking at Pam] Bobby got you, I'll be damned if I let J.R. get Garnet!

Lucy Ewing:
I want your help, J.R. I know you all just think I'm dreamin' about being a singer, but I'm not, I've got talent, I really have, I kow it.

J.R. Ewing:
[interrupting] Now if I remember correctly, last year, you wanted to join a circus and put on black tights and dance on a horses back...

Lucy Ewing:
That was different, J.R., I'm older now. I'm older.

J.R. Ewing:
No, no, it's exactly, exactly the same thing to me, honey.

Lucy Ewing:
No it's not J.R, please, just back me with granddaddy, he'll let me if you say it's ok, he will.

JR Ewing:
So, you just remember who you're working for, keep a civil tongue in your head, and try to answer my questions with a bit of civility.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
I've come to realize that you really do love your son.

J.R. Ewing:
Yes, I do. And whats more, I love Sue Ellen. I just didn't realize it until after the divorce.

J.R. Ewing:
Ewing Enterprises has enough problems with oil at the moment, it doesn't need short beef sales on top of that.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
You bought me once, J.R. And you can't do it any more. I am no longer for sale.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
J.R. hasn't behaved this well since he was six years old. Maybe having a child is just what he needed.

Jeb Ames:
We're gonna see to it you're real sorry for this, J.R.

J.R. Ewing:
The only thing I'm ever gonna be sorry for is it wasn't you who fell off that roof instead of Julie.

Alan Beam:
I've been stuying the problem, sir. Has some very interesting aspects.

J.R. Ewing:
I 'd call what Cliff Barnes is trying to do to my business something stronger than 'interesting'.

Alan Beam:
Oh, yes sir, like shutting down production on that Odessa well, claiming contamination? Masterstroke.

J.R. Ewing:
This is not a tennis match, it's business.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
What have I done? It's all my fault, it's all my fault...

J.R. Ewing:
[on phone in office] Now if the call was genuine, dad would be on his way to the bank instead of City Hall.

Miss Ellie Ewing:
[on other line at Southfork] J.R., not everyone is motivated by greed.

Pamela Barnes Ewing:
[defending Cliff Barnes] He didn't know anything about it.

Bobby Ewing:
You'd swear he could walk on water if he told you!

Jeb Ames:
[Ames has fixed himself a little old drink while J.R. was on the phone] More bad news, I hope?

J.R. Ewing:
[aiming a gun at Ames] If I had the time to clean up the mess, I'd use this on you.

Kristin Shepard:
I can see the headline now, "Jock Ewing's Grandson, JAIL BABY!"

Sue Ellen Ewing:
It was YOU, Kristin, who shot J.R.

Sue Ellen Ewing:
I am NOT going to jail for HER!

J.R. Ewing:
No ones going to jail! I'll handle Kristin my own way.

Jock Ewing:
Somebody better call the sheriff before I blast these two slobs!

Cliff Barnes :
You just love it JR that I'm going to pieces!

J.R. Ewing :
(pausing a moment before answering)

I must say it does make a pretty picture.

(chuckling to himself while answering)

Cliff leaves JR's office in a frustrated yelp

J.R. grinning ear to ear while he takes a swig of liquor