Dawson's Creek

Jen:
Do you remember when you were ten and your Mom wouldn't get you that candy bar that you really, really wanted? Didn't you ever just... swipe it?

Dawson:
No.

Jen:
What about you, Joe? Are you a virgin?

Joey:
You kidding? Years ago. Trucker named Bubba.

Joey:
Things change, Dawson, people change.

Jen:
Don't give up on your lost causes, you never know when your luck will change.

Joey:
You know, I have asked you six questions tonight and you haven't answered one.

Jack:
Well that's because you have to ask me seven. See seven is the magic number.

Joey:
There you go again. Why do you make light out of everything?

Jack:
Because I am aloof, introverted, and unsociable so there, I answered one.

Pacey:
Your sincerity is so appealingly sexy.

Andie:
And your sexiness is so appealingly sincere.

Dawson:
The night is young.

Joey:
So are we.

Jack:
I don't believe in perfect love. But I do believe that there are people who's lives are inextricably intertwined.

Joey:
So the friendship? You don't think we're friends anymore?

Dawson:
I don't know. Are we more? Are we less? All I know is it's just not the way it used to be. Nothing is anymore.

Joey:
It's called social evolution, Dawson. What's strong enough flourishes and what doesn't we look at behind glass cases in science museums.

Dawson:
You and I? Are we museum bound?

Joey:
I was scared.

Dawson:
Of what?

Joey:
Of going backwards, of never growing up.

Dawson:
That's what I represent to you?

Joey:
No, not you. Us. I started this year thinking that I had to say good-bye to you, but I was wrong. Dawson, you're a huge part of my life - past, present, and future - and I have to start getting used to that because... you make my life better, not worse

Joey:
When I saw you going for Jen's hand... it's not like I wanted to be the one holding your hand. I just didn't want her holding it.

Andie:
You mean that you guys would rather watch a movie about something than actually doing it yourselves?

Joey, Dawson:
Correct.

Pacey:
You know, this town is the absolute embodiment of dull. Apart from the occasional sex scandal provided by yours truly, nothing happens here.

Dawson:
And the rest is pornographic history.

Joey:
Dawson, I'm the girl guys are friends with, not the girl guys date.

Pacey:
Gotta hand it to you Dawson, you make me look good.

Dawson:
Yeah? How?

Pacey:
You suck worse than I do.

Abby:
I love that dress, in fact I have the same one, in a smaller size.

Jennifer "Jen" Lindley:
Hey, Joey, I love your lipstick. What shade is that?

Joey:
Wicked red. I love your hair color. What number is that?

Dawson:
I'm an artist, torture is a prerequisite.

Dawson:
I'm mad at the world, Joey, I'm a teenager.

Dawson:
Edge is fleeting, heart lasts forever.

Joey:
Do you believe in magic? I never used to. I mean, how could I? 13, your mom dies, you hope against hope for magic, something to make it all better. It never comes, and, you know, you look to your father who's unable to overcome all of his tragic flaws. Well, no abracadabra there. And then there's Pacey. Well... any magic that was there, that ran out, didn't it? But, uh, then there's you. There's proof that someone out there is thinking of me... my friend who was with me always. It's pure magic.

[Dawson insults and drives away a film critic]

Oliver Chirchuck:
Apologize, kiss her ass, get down on your knees and beg, just do whatever it takes to get her back here.

Dawson:
Alright, alright. What are you going to do?

Oliver Chirchuck:
I'm gonna go and hit on your ex-girlfriend.

Abby:
Getting a sexual confession out of Jen Lindley, that's like getting Bill Gates to admit he made two dollars last year.

[Grams runs into an old boyfriend]

Evelyn "Grams" Ryan:
I thought you were dead.

Jennifer "Jen" Lindley:
Great pick-up line.

Joey:
Cramming dreary German folk tales and the inner workings of the Fett is hard enough without having to listen to a diatribe about your ass.

Pacey:
I'm a better catch than Tye the Bible-beater or that skirt-chasing Neanderthal Chris Wolfe.

Jennifer "Jen" Lindley:
This coming from the guy whose past two relationships have ended with the girl either leaving town to avoid prosecution or cool out in crazy camp for the summer?

Mr. Kasden:
[reading from a book] "Near the end of March, 1845, I borrowed an axe and went down to the woods by Walden pond. Nearest to where I..."

Mr. Kasden:
What's the most important word in that sentence?

Joey:
Woods?

Mr. Kasden:
Borrowed. The important thing to remember about The Transcendentalists, is that while self-reliance is a most admirable trait, Thoreau wasn't really all that alone out there by Waldon pond. He had neighbour's, friends, people he could rely on. We should all be so lucky.

Pacey:
Tell me is it the possibility of losing him to someone else that suddenly makes him seem so attractive?

Jen:
You really think that I am that shallow, huh?

Pacey:
No. I think you're that human.

Dawson:
How can you be friends with someone when every time you see them you think about how much more you really want?

Dawson:
[describing heartbreak] It's agony. Complete, excruciating agony. It's like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped on, and you can't breathe... you don't want to eat... you can't function. It's the most intense pain that you'll ever feel, and the worst part is, there's no way to relieve it. It's unyielding, merciless torture, and you *know* that it's yours for life.

Arthur Brooks:
And remember, you're still young enough to fall in and out of love a few more times before you get it right.

Dawson:
That doesn't sound very fun.

Arthur Brooks:
It isn't... And it is... And it isn't. But it's worth it. Every single time.

Andie:
My knees are shaking...

Pacey:
My heart... boom,boom,boom.

Dawson:
But what good is their love if it's not strong enough to overcome those circumstances?

Joey:
Because in spite of the circumstances... they never stop loving.

Joey:
Dawson, I'm sorry I don't have the same dreams I had when I was 15 years old, and I'm sorry that I moved on faster than you did, but you know what? Maybe not everything that happens to you is my fault! And maybe just because I want more from my life than...

Dawson:
More than what? More than us? You don't know, do you? You've never known. The entire time I've known you, all you've wanted to do is escape. From me, from Capeside. I mean, you say that I'm the dreamer. I'm the one who doesn't wanna live in the real world. Well, I'm doing it, Joey. Right now. I'm living in the real world. It's you who wants the fantasy

Jen:
Cute.

Jack:
Gay.

Jen:
Aren't they all?

[Jen and Jack's final scene]

Jack:
Jen I want her. I want her. I don't know what you and Grams have discussed.

Jen:
Grams is aware of her own situation, her health and all. We both think that you would make an excellent father. Now Jack, please help Amy to find a place to be. I feel like I never really quite fit in.

Jack:
Which is why we're us.

Jen:
I know. I mean from the second that I stepped out of that cab onto the creek I was the instigator, you know, the girl who caused problems and rocked the creek and upset the delicate emotional balance of Capeside and I don't want Amy to be that person. I want her to belong, I feel like I never really did.

Jack:
Jen. You belong... you belong to me. Don't you get it? You're my soulmate. Amy's gonna know love, everyday of her life she is gonna know how much her mother loved her. I'm gonna see to that. Ok?

Jen:
Hi, Amy, it's mom. Well, by the time you see this, I won't be here anymore, and I know how much that sucks, for both of us. So seeing as how I won't be around to thoroughly annoy you, I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you. Well, there's the obvious. An education. Family. Friends. And a life that is full of the unexpected. Be sure to make mistakes. Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right? And, um, I want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and I insist that you, my girl, be a dreamer. God. I've never really believed in God. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, sweetheart... is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you, I promise, and when you least expect it, like you, like spending the best year of my life with the sweetest and the smartest and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. You don't be afraid, sweetheart. And remember, to love is to live.

Pacey:
I'm just saying thank you. You reminded me of what I'm capable of feeling. It's like I was... walking around seeing my life through a smudged window, and then I saw you and the smudges were gone. The window was clean

Lilly Leery:
What's a soul mate?

Dawson:
It's uh... Well, it's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soul mate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you'll always love her. Nothing can ever change that. Make sense?

Joey:
What's going on in that head of yours?

Pacey:
You're off the hook.

Joey:
What?

Pacey:
You're off the hook. I've never had much faith in that whole "if you love someone, set them free" crap, as evidenced by everything I've done in my life up until this very moment, but I am determined to be happy, Joey, happy in this life. And I love you. I have always, always loved you, but our timing has just never been right. And the way I figure it, time is no man's friend. Well, I have to get right with that and be happy now. Because this is it, this is all we got. If there's one thing that I've learned from losing Jen, that's what I've learned.

Joey:
Pace, I...

Pacey:
Actually, hold on, I'm not done yet, because I also want for you to be happy. So I want you to be with someone, whether it be Dawson or New York guy or some man you haven't even met yet, but I want you to be with someone who can be a part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel the way I feel when I'm with you. So, I guess the point of this long run-on sentence that's been the last 10 years of our lives is that the simple act of being in love with you is enough for me. So you're off the hook.

Joey:
You know what, for the record, I don't want to be let off the hook. Because everything I have done has led me here, right now, and the last thing I want is to be let off somebody's hook.

Pacey:
Don't miss my point here...

Joey:
And don't miss mine. Pacey, I love you. You know that. And it's very real. It's so real that it's kept me moving, mostly running from it, never ready for it. And I love Dawson. He's my soul mate. He's tied to my childhood, and it's a love that is pure and eternally innocent. I can't be let off the hook because I just might get the notion that it's OK to keep running.

Dawson:
Life has no opposite.

Joey:
I never thought of it that way.

Dawson:
Well, leave it to me to overthink it.

Joey:
You are the writer.

Dawson:
This writer has decided it doesn't matter how it ends. Because fiction is fiction. For the first time in a long time, my life is real. It doesn't matter who ends up with who. In some unearthly way, it's always gonna be you and me.

Joey:
It's always.

Dawson:
What we have goes beyond friendship, beyond lovers. It's forever.

Joey:
Yes it is. I love you, Dawson.

Dawson:
I love you too, Joey.

Lilly Leery:
[Scene: cut in, showing Alexander climbing a ladder and Lily standing at a window in the Leery house. Reminiscent of Joey and Dawson's childhood] Come on Alexander, only a few more steps, you can do it!

Joey:
You and me always.

Dawson:
Always.

Joey:
There's so much, Dawson. Both good times and bad. When I loved you, you loved Jen. When you loved me, I needed to be my on my own. So I left you for Jack. I didn't realize he was gay.

Dawson:
And then I convinced you to turn your dad in for trafficking cocaine. You said you'd never speak to me again.

Joey:
But I did. I offered myself to you at that party after you crashed your dad's boat.

Dawson:
And I refused for some reason. So you feel for Pacey.

Joey:
While you were losing your virginity to Jen.

Dawson:
And then finally, we slept together.

Joey:
Only to get into a fight the day after, thus ruining everything we've waited so long for.

Dawson:
And then I dated an actress, you dated that Eddie guy.

Joey:
And years passed, until finally, here we are.

Joey:
Dreams aren't perfect, Dawson. They come true, not free.

Doug Witter:
[Doug walks up to Jack, who is sitting on the beach with baby Amy asleep in a carriage next to him] Gram said you were here. Just thinking?

Jack:
Capeside's favorite pastime.

Doug Witter:
What about?

Jack:
Moving.

Doug Witter:
Moving? Where?

Jack:
I don't know. Boston. New York.

Doug Witter:
Why?

Jack:
Amy.

Doug Witter:
Jack, you can't do that.

Jack:
Yes I can. How many gay parents do you know in Capeside?

Doug Witter:
So? How many gay teachers were there, before you came back? How many gay sheriffs are there, for that matter?

Jack:
Last time I checked, none. I'm tired of being first, Doug. Half my life has been about reeducating this community, and what do I have to show for it?

Doug Witter:
You think there are prizes for inspiring people?

Jack:
I don't want to inspire people any more. All I want to do is give Amy a normal existence, and she's not going to get that here. She's gonna have the same childhood that I did, only instead of being the only gay kid, she's gonna be the only kid with a gay parent. I don't want that.

Doug Witter:
You're going to be a gay parent no matter where you are. And yeah-Amy is going to face rejection. That's what it means to be a teenager.

Jack:
I just want to be a good parent. I have to be.

Doug Witter:
Hey. Jack. Being a good parent means knowing that your child is bound to fall down. And you just have to show 'em how to get back up.

Jack:
What do you know about parenting?

Doug Witter:
Not much. Hoping to learn quickly.

Jack:
It's a sweet gesture, but no thank you.

Doug Witter:
It's not a gesture.

Jack:
Yes, it is. With everything that we've been through, I'll be damned if we're gonna get back together over your sense of... obligation, or worse, pity.

Doug Witter:
Screw pity. I love you. I love you, Jack. I love that you're the bravest person I know... and the kindest. I love that no matter what you do, your life is gonna stand out. I want to stand out with you... and your daughter. [sighs] If you'll let me. [They kiss, and an elderly couple walks by]

Jack:
Uh, it's the Dudleys. Right there.

Doug Witter:
Evening, Mr. and Mrs. Dudley. I was just, uh, kissing my boyfriend.

Evelyn "Grams" Ryan:
[to Ty] If Jack is gay - he doesn't need your judgment, young man. The Lord above will be the one to judge him as he will judge all of us. What he needs from you and me and everyone else in this world is love and tolerance. If anything, that boy must feel scared and alone and it will take the understanding of his fellow man to help him through. Let's save judgment for someone much more experienced than you.

Joseph McPhee:
You are not gay.

Jack:
Yes, I am! You know it. I see how you look at me - and I know you know. Think about how you treated me and the way you treated Tim. Because he was the real son, and I was different. And as hard as you've tried to stamp it out or to ignore it, I've tried harder. I've tried harder than you, to be quiet, and to forget, and to not bother my family with my problem. But I can't try anymore, because it hurts. I'm sorry, Dad. Andie, I'm sorry. I don't want to be going through this. But I am.

Pacey:
So this is spring break, it doesn't really look like the brochures.

Audrey:
Hey. I provided the house, you people we supposed to bring on the fun. There are some pizzas.

Joey:
We could rent some movies...

Pacey:
...or play strip poker

Audrey, Joey, Jen:
NO!

Pacey:
Come on, its not like I haven't seen you all naked before. Ok, ok. we'll rent movies.

Audrey:
That's Chris.

Joey:
Chris as in...

Audrey:
The one. The one I think of every time "in your eyes" comes on the radio. My perfect high school boyfriend who every boy gets compared to and who no one's lived up to yet, yep that's him, he's here... kill me now.

Joey:
So, you're a stalker now?

Charlie:
Ugh, stalker. I prefer to think of myself as doggedly persistent.

Joey:
Well you got the dog part right.

Gretchen:
Senior ski trip is a Capeside rite of passage, absolutely guaranteed to be chock-full of the cruel and unusual.

Joey:
Well, knowing our class, I highly doubt it.

Gretchen:
Well, let's just say when I went, somebody got pregnant, somebody got arrested, and this one girl's hair caught on fire.

Pacey:
Joey'll probably keep me out of jail and Lamaze, and I guess I'll watch out for your hair.

Jack:
Did it ever occur to you that you're so caught up in trying to make the right choice that you've never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices?

Joey:
Thanks Jack. That's helpful.

Jack:
That's the point. You don't need help. There's nothing to figure out here. There's only what you feel.

Joey:
What I feel is fear.

Jack:
I'm not telling you to sleep with Pacey...

Joey:
But...

Jack:
All the really exciting things in life require more courage than we currently have. A deep breath and a leap. See Joey, the kind of fear you're talking about... sometimes it's how you know what's worthwhile.

Joey:
Really? Virtually topless female comes knocking on our door, asking if Pacey can come out to play, and you don't have any comment?

Pacey:
Well, no matter what I say, you're just gonna take it wrong.

Jen:
What are you scared of?

Jack:
I'm scared that I'm gonna end up alone. I'm scared that I'm always gonna be someone's friend, or brother, or confidant but never quite... someone's everything. Mostly I'm scared I'm never gonna meet a guy that I love as much as I love you.

Dawson:
[to Joey] You're gonna have some of the best years of your life at Worthington. And I wanna hear all about them.

Dawson:
Best thing we can do is just be ourselves, carry on in our typical, usual, distracting...

Pacey:
Sordid love triangle ways.

Dawson:
[Laughs] Leave it up to you to say the most inappropriate thing possible.

Pacey:
Aw, I'm always dependable, my friend.

Joey:
So very not funny.

[Cell phone rings]

Joey:
Hi, Christopher.

Dawson:
And the triangle becomes a square.

Pacey:
Well put.

Jack:
Good teachers are just traumatized students trying to erase whatever went wrong with their own high school experience.

Jen:
It's beautiful today isn't it, hum, how the sun just affects every breathing thing, I mean you can really see it...

Dawson:
Ok, Mrs. Dalloway.

Doug Witter:
[Doug pulls Jack over for speeding] Looks like somebody's in quite the hurry this morning.

Jack:
Sheriff Doug. I'm sorry. I'm late, I'm trying to get to class...

Doug Witter:
Well, I have no choice but to issue you a citation for doing 40 in a 25.

Jack:
Look, I already have all these, these points against my license. D'ya think maybe there's something I could to to... get you to look the other way?

Doug Witter:
May I remind you, Mr. McPhee, that attempting to bribe a public official is a serious offense.

Jack:
Well, you know, I was just hoping I could appeal to your greater sense of compassion?

Doug Witter:
[Doug thinks about it and then leans over and kisses Jack] All right. Just this once I'll let you go with a warning.

Jack:
[Jack puts his hand over Doug's] Thanks, honey.

Doug Witter:
[Doug laughs] No. No - never call me honey.

Jack:
Dude, it's a deserted road. Chill.

Doug Witter:
Don't call me dude, either.

Jack:
All right. Tonight? Uh, dinner later?

Doug Witter:
Yeah. I'll cook. My place.

Jack:
Great. I'll bring the handcuffs... kidding.

Doug Witter:
Yeah, I'll see you. Jack - slow down.

Jack:
Yeah. [Jack turns to look at Doug's rear end as he walks back to his sheriff's car]

Dawson:
This is in your hands; you can control this.

Pacey:
This is the wrong time for an Obi-Wan moment, Dawson.

Pacey:
That figures, ya know. My life's been going a little too well. Something had to go and balance it out.

Dawson:
[singing] My name is Dawson Leary, and I'm feeling kind of weary. Today is my birthday, and you all look a little bleary. The girl that I cared for left me and ran away, straight into the arms of a guy who turned out to be gay. I got the blues! Yeah! Today I woke up feeling I was born to lose!

Andie:
[singing] My name is Andie, and my brother's the one who's gay. My other brother died, and my daddy went away. But I'm still Andie, and my boyfriend makes me randy. His name is Pacey, and my mom's gone completely crazy! I got the blues!

Dawson:
[singing] I've been restless, hopeless and confused. This girl I told you about, she's been on the move. She's at my suprise party, where everyone I know is right now. When I show up late there, they're all gonna have a cow! Yeah, I got the blues!

Dawson:
[Drunk] Time to make a wish? Time to make a wish, okay. I wish... I wish my mom never slept with her co-anchor. I wish that my father... would stop talking about getting a job and actually go out and get one... heh, heh... and I wish that the two of you would stop your petty bickering and at least pretend to be the adults around here. I wish that my best friend, Pacey, would just end this transformation into a do-gooder, "A" student, and all-around sanctimonious teen angel and just go back to do what he does best, which is make me feel good about my life because his is supposed to be worse! And there's Jen Lindley with her drunkenness and revolving boyfriends and her wild, wicked ways. I wanna party with you. Ah, and there's Jack McPhee - Jack McPhee, who likes guys, but doesn't mind stealing my girlfriend, tonight, ladies and gentlemen, starring in his very own version of "In and Out". [Applauds] He's in. He's out! He's in. He's out! He's in. He's out! In, out. Nice hair, by the way. Heh, heh, heh... And then of course, there's my Joey. My sweet... precious Joey... the only 16-year old in the world who needed to find herself. You - You know what? That's - That's okay. I accept that. You need to find yourself... and I accept it. [Looks around] Right? So, Joey? J-J-Joey? Wh-where's - ? Where's my - ? Excuse me. Joey? Joey? Joey? Excuse me, Mom. [Gets down on his knees and looks under the table] Joey, are you - ? [Gets back up] Joey? Joey? [Gasp] There she is. There she is. It's my Joey. Joey! [Grabs Joey and kisses her]

Joey:
Cut it out, Dawson! [Pushes Dawson away, and Dawson lands face-down on his birthday cake]

[both Dawson and Andie are throwing up in a bathroom sink and toilet respectively from drinking]

Dawson:
I've learned one thing from my initiation into the evils of alcohol and that is be careful what you eat because you're gonna see it again.

Andie:
Uh... and again, and again, and again.

[they both collapse against the bathroom wall side by side]

Andie:
I swear, I'm never drinking again. Oh God, I'm so mortified at my behavior tonight. And to think that your parents saw me this way!

Dawson:
God, if I survive this night... if anybody in my life ever speaks to me again, I swear I will never let another drop of alcohol touch my lips.

Andie:
And if you ever see me pick up a drink, please remind me how I am feeling right now.

Dawson:
Deal.

[both are about to shake hands when they both lean forward and run back to the sink and toilet to throw up again]

Dawson:
You and I are meant to be together, Joey. Period. The end. Cue happy-ending music.

Joey:
It was never about finding something better, Dawson. It was about finding someone who wasn't so close to me. So that I could tell where I ended and he began. In many ways, I feel like you've partially invented me, Dawson. And that scares me so much.

Pacey:
Dawson, what's up? I came over as soon as I got your message.

Dawson:
I'm freaking out.

Pacey:
Why? What's the problem?

Dawson:
It's almost midnight.

Pacey:
Yeah, it's your birthday. In a couple of minutes, you're gonna be 16. Congratulations, man. This is a major turning point.

Dawson:
Yeah. And I'm eternally lost as a species on this planet.

Pacey:
Oh, this is gonna be bad.

Dawson:
I'm about to be 16 years old in a matter of minutes, and I'm still... me!

Joey:
I'd like to tell today's youth that no matter where life takes you, big cities, small towns, you'll inevitably come across small minds. People who think that they're better than you are. People who think that material things, or being pretty or popular automatically makes you a worth while human being. I'd like to tell today's youth that none of these things matter unless you have strength of character, integrity, sense of pride, and if you're lucky enough to have any of these things... don't ever sell them. Don't ever sell out. So when you meet a person for the first time, please don't judge them by their station on life, because, who knows, that person just might end up being your best friend. Thank you.

Joey:
People change, Dawson.

Dawson:
They don't have to.

Joey:
Yes, they do. People die, and they move away... and they grow up, Dawson. Everything changes eventually.

Joey:
Everything changes eventually. That's just the way life is and you have no control over it. Like suddenly people who you think are always going to be there, they disappear. You know? People die and they move away and they grow up.

Dawson:
I'm sitting next to my best friend in the world and my palms are sweating.

Gail Leery:
Honey, fair and beauty pageants aren't exactly synonymous.

Joey:
I thought that this is what I wanted. For you to see me as beautiful. For you to look at me the way you look at Jen. But the truth is, that's not really what I want at all. I want you to look at me and see the person that you've always known and realize that what we've had is so much more incredible than just some passing physical attraction. 'Cause you know what? It's just make-up - and hairspray - and tomorrow I'll be back to being Joey. Just Joey. The too tall girl that lives on the wrong side of the creek

Joey:
I need to rent the English Patient.

Pacey:
May I please suggest something that doesn't completely blow.

Joey:
You were wanting to kiss me all night?

Pacey:
Yes.

Joey:
Even when you were yelling at me.

Pacey:
Especially when I was yelling at you.

Joey:
So... is this... some sort of... recent new development in your life?

Pacey:
Wanting to kiss you? No. It's sort of always there... like... white noise, or... the secret service or the threat of nuclear war, for that matter. Just somethin' you get used to.

Joey:
Well, are you gonna answer that, or are we gonna finish this?

Pacey:
We could live for a thousand years, and we would never finish this.

Joey:
I don't know. I guess I feel different. Like... I've always had this tendency to assume that change, when it happens, can only be for the worse. You know? And lately, I kinda feel like that's not true... like whatever's waiting for me out there... may not be that bad. And even if it is... then not knowing about it... might actually be the good part.

Joey:
[to Pacey] Just because I've never done it before doesn't mean I'm not gonna be good at it. I was good at sex, wasn't I?

Pacey:
I don't know. But... you remember how you said you were willing to be surprised by the future?

Joey:
Yeah.

Pacey:
Surprise.

[Pacey has just asked Rich to borrow some money because Pacey lost all his in a foolhardy stock investment]

Rich Rinaldi:
Pacey, you are so good at your job that often I forget how young, naive, and stupid you are.

Pacey Witter:
Rich, I really don't need the speech from you right now.

Rich Rinaldi:
Oh, I think you do. And in response to your request, I'm going to tell you what you should have told your friend in the first place: no!

Pacey Witter:
Wait, that's it? I come to you, I embarrass myself, and all you can tell me is just a big, plain "no"?

Rich Rinaldi:
Pretty much, yeah.

Pacey Witter:
You know Rich, you are so good at your job too that often I forget what an unfeeling prick you are!

Pacey Witter:
Rich, please. I'm just asking you for this one small favor, just one time. No one will know about this. It will only stay between you and me. After that, I'll never ask your for anything in this lifetime again or the...

Rich Rinaldi:
[interrupting] Read my lips: I... don't... do... favors... Witter!

Pacey Witter:
Why not? Because, God fobid, you'd have to drop the Gordon Gekko routine for a minute or two? This will be so easy for you just help me out here!

Rich Rinaldi:
Help you out? I'm done helping you out! I gave you this job, Witter! I showed you how things worked around here. I gave you a chance to escape some bottom-feeding existence from that small town where you grew up. And every step of the way, you have been a soulful, moralistic, holier-than-thou pain in my ass! So you tell me, why should I help you out?

[Joey is reading Eddie's goodbye letter to her]

Eddie Doling:
[voice-over] Dear Joey, as you know I'm not good at goodbyes. But I guess that's what it is. A real one this time. Because as much as I thought I wanted us to be together, I guess what I want more is to be one of those people who lives every moment of his life without indecision and without regrets. Someone who dares to disturb the universe without a thought to the consequences. And you're not one of those people, at least not yet. Maybe you'll prove me wrong about that one day. I hope you do. But who knows? Maybe people can't change. Maybe we're doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again no matter how hard we try. I always hope for a happy ending. How crazy is that? Take care of yourself.

Rich Rinaldi:
Here, take this pen and write down today's date. Because from this day fourth, you will amount to nothing. You are failure and a loser! You deserve to get what's coming...

Pacey Witter:
Stop calling me a loser! Don't you ever call me a loser!

Rich Rinaldi:
[taunting] Oh, what are you gonna do about it... loser? Loser! Loser...

[Pacey punches Rich, and attacks him, but stops seconds later looking disgusted at himself and realizing too late, that he fell into Rinaldi's ploy]

Rich Rinaldi:
Don't worry, it's over. You're through. You're fired. You're finished. You'll never work in this company, in this town... or in this state again! Why do you look so down? This is what you wanted all along, right? Loser!

[looking down at the floor, Pacey sorrowly walks out]

Audrey:
I've slept with 27 people.

Film Geek:
[overhearing] Rock and roll.

Joey:
Dawson, don't you ever wonder where this is going, where we are exactly? I mean, is this just the first act or is our story ended and we're just too stupid to realize it?

Pacey Witter:
You can't keep doing this to me, Potter!

Dawson:
It's become obvious to me that in life you're either a Mac person or a PC person, and the choice defines you. Let me put it to you this way: Beatles or Elvis?

Mitch Leery:
Beatles.

Dawson:
See? Exactly. This is no different.

[Mitch is giving Dawson fatherly advice, before Dawson leaves for college the following morning]

Mitch Leery:
You know not to have sex without a condom, right?

Dawson:
Oh, dad, please. I was the only kid in kindergarten who knew what Trojans were.

Mitch Leery:
Right. Erm, drugs.

Dawson:
I can't swear to you that I'll never try some variety of narcotic. But I can promise you I'll never get so strung out I'll steal your TV.

Mitch Leery:
Can you promise me... you won't join a frat?

Dawson:
That I can promise.

Mitch Leery:
Okay.

Pacey Witter:
We don't have to go home. We survived for the past three months taking odd jobs. We can survive as long as we want, just as long as we're happy.

Joey Potter:
Pacey, if you're so serious about this, why bring it up now... two hours from home?

Pacey Witter:
Twelve hours from home. I think we should probably drop anchor here, have a bite to eat, and then we can debate whether to scrap this whole mission home.

Joey Potter:
No, I don't believe you Pacey Witter. As truant as your natural instincts may be, you'd never really suggest that we skip our senior year of high school entirely?

Pacey Witter:
Just what would we be missing from the land of poorly scripted melodramas? Recycled plot lines, tiresome self-realizations. You throw in the occasional downward spiral of a dear friend, and maybe baby here and a death there, and all you really got is a recipe for some soul-sucking, mind-numbing, ennui. And I for one could skip it.

Joey:
You got me, Jen. We did it. All day, all night. Twenty-four-seven. Are you aware that there are at least thirty-eight known different sexual positions? Forty-two if you're flexible enough.

Dawson:
You can't choose what you love; it chooses you.

Joey:
Well, Principal Green said the mural should focus on what unifies us as a school. And if you think about it, nothing really unifies us. Even our mascot is divisive. The Minute Man - right there you've alienated half the student population. So, the only thing that I could think of that unites us all, that we all have in common, is that... well it's that we all start off in kindergarten thinking that we can be anything that we want to be, and by the time we get here, we... we've somehow lost that feeling. We've all started to believe whatever our parents or friends have told us about what we can achieve and who we can be in life, and... and we've forgotten about that possibility we had when we were younger. And that's what I think we all have in common, and that's what the symbol on my painting means - possibility. I painted it because I thought we could all use a daily reminder that, if you believe in yourself, even when the odds seem stacked against you, anything's possible.

Pacey:
I've got a bad case of the Molly Ringwalds today.

Mitch Leery:
Remember, Dawson, no hat, no glove.

Gail Leery:
No Mitch, honey, that's "no glove, no love."

Mitch Leery:
Yeah, well, you get the point.

Dawson Leery:
My parents live for those coming-of-age, Wonder Years moments.

Mitch Leery:
It's all about romance. And chapstick.

Dawson:
So, Joey, what have we learned from tonight's 90210?

Pacey:
Tell Dad I appreciate the concern, but he should save it for the closet-case with a gun.

Joey:
I'm so tired of dancing around these big words... I just want to be honest with you... more that anything I want to be honest with you. But, do you think we're ready for that honesty? Because honesty is a big word and it changes things, and it complicates things. Are you sure you're ready for everything that goes along with telling the truth?

Joey:
Do you really love me though? Because I'm 15 years old and I go through every day of my life thinking that nobody loves me.

Pacey:
You're not a little Oompa-Loompa any more, Dawson. You're a big, bad, manly Oompa-Loompa.

Jen:
We can't all be like you, Abby, having your little ecstasy gang bangs on the floor of the boys' locker room.

Abby:
I am so bored.

Pacey:
Why don't you get out your ecstasy, Abby and me and you can go down to the boy's locker room and... you know...

Abby:
I don't have any left, and even if I did I wouldn't waste it on Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Pacey:
Aww... you're not gonna let Rudolph join in any of your perverted reindeer games?

Abby:
Hey, now that's an idea. We should play a game. C'mon, I'll be your best friend!

Dawson Leery:
This is so Breakfast Club!

Jen:
Breakfast Club?

Dawson Leery:
You know John Hughes movie where the five kids are stuck in detention all day?

Joey Potter:
Yeah, in the beginning they hate each other and then by the end they're best friends.

Jen:
Oh yeah. God that movie stunk! Whatever happened to those actors?

Dawson Leery:
Well, Anthony Michael Hall developed some weird thyroid condition, Molly Ringwald lost her gawky ingenue appeal and the rest and languishing somewhere in TV hell.

Pacey:
No way man! Emilio Estivez was in those duck movies. Those were classic. So funny! [Jen, Dawson and Joey stare at him blankly] What?

Dr. Rand:
I'd like you to meet your new lab partner.

Joey:
Him?

Pacey:
Her? Dr. Rand, I'd like to lodge a formal protest. You never told me I was going to be working with a repressed control freak.

Joey:
Yeah, and you never said my grade was dependent upon some remedial underachiever.

Dr. Rand:
I see introductions are unnecessary.

Joey:
Let me get this straight. You've tried to create some sort of a snail menage-a-trois?

Pacey:
Well, it sounds stupid when you say it out loud, but I just saw this really pretty snail in the tank over by the window, and I don't know. Last night it just seemed really brilliant.

Joey:
Let me fill ya in on something here. You know this pretty little snail over here by the window? It's what you call a carnivorous snail, and do you know what carnivorous snails eat?

Pacey:
Other snails.

Joey:
Yeah, other snails. Other snails such as our snails, such as the snails we are desperately relying on to raise our marine biology grades.

Pacey:
Please, summer school?

Joey:
Yeah.

Pacey:
It'll never happen. Only morons go to summer school.

Joey:
Oh yeah? Well, the last time I checked you were pulling a stellar F-minus, so without this extra-credit project, Pacey, I'm very well certain that your grade will not only place you squarely among the morons, but you may very well be their leader.

Joey:
Wait a second. You're taking romantic advice from a guy who spent his evening trying to get 3 snails to sleep together?

Joey:
You take one more step in this direction and I can almost guarantee you a permanent disability.

Pacey:
Amazing. Personality like yours and you still can't get any dates.

Joey:
Even more amazing, personality like yours and you can.

[Pacey is arrested for being drunk and disorderly]

Doug Witter:
What are you trying to do to yourself, Pacey? You're not satisfied with being a moron and a failure? You've got to add 'drunk' to your list of credentials?

Pacey:
This is for me! This is my whole life right here! This is all I get!

Jennifer "Jen" Lindley:
I say witch is just a buzzword. For a girl who happens to follow her completely healthy, totally natural urges, and explore her sexuality. But see, you can't do that in school in the swingin' 1690's without getting the good townsfolk all up in arms. So what do these puritanical, impotent creeps do? Instead of reaching for the Viagra, they brand these girls as witches, they send them off to this godforsaken island to die a horrible solitary death.

Joey:
Well, lucky for you, Jen - I mean, we live in a world where you can follow your natural urges without fear of persecution.

Jennifer "Jen" Lindley:
You're right. I would've been so burned at the stake by now.

Jen:
I wonder if Pacey loves me yet?

Dawson:
Hey, once upon a time, you yourself told me that some love stories never end. What happened to that girl?

Joey:
She offered herself to the boy she loved. The boy she thought loved her back. And he rejected her.

Joey:
Serves me right for being THAT girl.

Dawson:
What girl?

Joey:
That girl who tries to rent the movie the night before an all-important paper is due because her debilitating attention deficit disorder's gotten in the way of her actually reading the book.

Joey:
Dawson, you can't just will a friendship into existence.

Joey:
Well, you know, if I blow off the paper, then I'll probably fail the class, and if I fail the class, well, that could be the beginning of a long and tragic downward spiral that dooms me to wait the tables of Capeside's greasy spoons for eternity, so... count me in.

Dawson:
If he did meet somebody else and forgot about her than obviously they were never meant to be in the first place. See my point?

Joey:
Could you be any more naive?

Dawson:
Could you be any more cynical?

Jennifer "Jen" Lindley:
Could you be any more irritating?

Pacey:
You love me.

Joey:
You bug me.

AJ:
Would it be alright if I were to, you know, phone you sometime?

Joey:
It wouldn't suck.

[Pacey and Karen find themselves in a creepy diner when an ugly redneck wench of a waitress approaches them]

Wench:
You people comin' or stayin'?

Pacey Witter:
I'm sorry, we were in an accident. Do you have a phone here?

Wench:
On the wall over there.

Pacey Witter:
No, that phone's out of order.

Wench:
Then I guess you're out of luck.

Pacey Witter:
[to the weird and ugly diner patrons] All right, which one of you inbred, redneck, freaks crashed into my car tonight? Show of hands, anyone? Was it you? Or you? Come one, someone say something.

[the ugly and inbred diner owner, Vic, approaches Pacey]

Vic:
Get outta my diner!

Pacey Witter:
Oh no, mister. I will not. One of your patrons in here smashed into my car out on the road just a few minutes ago.

Vic:
Not my problem, boy!

Pacey Witter:
Oh, but it is your problem. If the person is in here and you're hiding him...

Vic:
[bearing his rotting, clenched teeth] Leave!

Pacey Witter:
Oh my! You really should think about seeing a dentist.

Dawson:
Jo, you're not a bad friend. I don't get to say it much anymore, but... You're my best friend. You always were. No matter where you are, no matter where your life may take you, and no matter who you're with...

Joey:
You'll always have a piece of my heart.

Dawson:
Something like that.

Joey:
Yeah. Doesn't have to be a huge piece.

Dawson:
No, no, no, no. Not a huge piece. Just enough. You know, tiny piece.

Pacey:
It seems to me that under the previous regimes in my life, every time I was studying, I was given a reward.

Joey:
I offered you Chex Mix.

Pacey:
And I'm not talkin' about Chex Mix. I'm talking about Tamara, and I'm talking about Andie. Let's just say that those 2 ladies, they trained me to equate studying with...

Joey:
With what?

Pacey:
Sex. I equate studying with sex, sex with studying. Now I get the studying, but no sex, you understand? So it's a little hard to get motivated these days.

Joey:
So what you're saying is you're merely the innocent victim in some behavioral psychology experiment gone horribly awry.

Pacey:
Yeah.

Joey:
And you're desperately in need of some able-bodied female to help you provoke those pre-conditioned Pavlovian homework responses?

Pacey:
Yes.

Joey:
That is the worst pick-up line I have ever heard, Pacey.

Joey:
You never look back, do you?

Pacey:
Why would you look back? The future's out there. And whatever it is, it's gonna be great.

Abby Morgan:
Look, let's never let a guy come between us again. Men will come and go, but you and I are kindred spirits. We're rebels bound by the common need to break out of this small town abyss.

Jen Lindley:
Okay, are you sure you're okay with this whole guy thing?

Abby Morgan:
Absolutely.

Jen Lindley:
Good, because I've been dying to tell someone. I've got a date with Vincent.

Abby Morgan:
You b*tch!

Jen Lindley:
What?

Abby Morgan:
After everything I've done for you, how could you steal him from me?

Jen Lindley:
Are you out of your mind? He doesn't even know that you exist, Abby.

[Jen begins to walk away as Abby starts following her]

Abby Morgan:
You might want to stop and pick up some condoms. You're in the big leagues now, babe. I mean that guy probally has illegimate kids scattared up and down the eastern seaboard.

Jen Lindley:
Shut up, Abby.

Abby Morgan:
Yeah, he probally likes it kinky. After all, you are the girl from New York City, right?

Jen Lindley:
I'm warning you, back off!

Abby Morgan:
Yeah, old Vince probally knows a easy lay when he sees one!

[enraged, Jen suddenly turns and slaps Abby hard across her face, almost knocking her down]

Jen Lindley:
Don't you ever talk to me again, EVER!

Abby Morgan:
I cannot belive you would hit me. Me! You're best friend!

Jen Lindley:
Best friend? Abby, need I remind you that in the past two days, you have called me a b*tch, a slut, and a loser.

Abby Morgan:
Yeah. But I would never hit you!

Jen Lindley:
You're warped! Why don't you just go home?

Abby Morgan:
Why? Is the dork from the docks commin' a callin'?

Jen Lindley:
Yes, he is.

Evelyn 'Grams' Ryan:
I do not know what to do about you, child!

Jen Lindley:
Please, don't preach to me right now.

Evelyn 'Grams' Ryan:
No, there'll be no talk about God. You leave him out of it. This is between you and me. What I witnessed tonight is something I never want to see again, not in my house, not in my lifetime!

Jen Lindley:
I had the situation under control. You don't have to get upset at me.

Evelyn 'Grams' Ryan:
I am not upset, I am sick! I will not allow you to slide back into your reprehensible, New York behavior. Not while you're under my care. You will not disrespect me.

Jen Lindley:
Wait a minute, I...

Evelyn 'Grams' Ryan:
No, you wait a minute Jennifer! This behavior will not be tolerated. You will treat me with respect, and you will act like a lady. Have you no respect for yourself?

Gretchen Witter:
You know Dawson, it might interest you to know that I did take one film class in college.

Dawson:
Was it a monumental waste of time?

Gretchen Witter:
No, it was great actually. But you know what my teacher said was the most bogus line in Hollywood cinema?

Dawson:
What?

Gretchen Witter:
"There's no place like home."

Dawson:
Wizard of Oz.

Gretchen Witter:
Exactly. It's what everybody remembers about the movie, but it doesn't resonate with the rest of the story. Think about it. You know home is this desolate, gray, dust bowl of a place where some nasty old lady is trying to kill your dog. And Oz is ...

Dawson:
Technicolor.

Gretchen Witter:
And sure it has it's problems. You know, poppy fields, flying monkeys, ...

Dawson:
Talking trees.

Gretchen Witter:
But along the way you make friends. Good friends. With people that you never even knew existed when you were growing up. Straw people, tin people, ...

Dawson:
And lions.

Gretchen Witter:
[laughs] Exactly. And you help each other realize that all the things that you want to be, you already are.

Dawson:
I think sometimes... you have to lose somebody completely before you can figure out what they really mean to you.

Dawson:
This has nothing to do with the money, Pacey. It's about us. We haven't been friends for a long time.

Pacey Witter:
You're right. We haven't.

Dawson:
Ever since three years ago when you took Joey away from me. Now that really turned my life upside down. But what made it even more worse was during our senior year in high school when you, my best friend in the world, turned his back on me!

Pacey Witter:
How dare you say that! You don't know anything about me.

Dawson:
I think I know you a hell of a lot better than you know Pacey, since you've been trying to shed this loser image that everyone has put on you.

Pacey Witter:
Hey, I'm not the one who lives in a fantasy world and wants to be the new Spielberg of the century. I went out and made a change in my life.

Dawson:
How? By taking an office job selling stock? Putting on a suit and tie, and slaving away at something that doesn't intrest you?

Pacey Witter:
Maybe. But at least I was good at my job. I sold many stock. I made lots of money.

Dawson:
Then why I'm I broke?

Pacey Witter:
Because that's life! I didn't plan this. I didn't expect this. What more do you want from me, Dawson? You may have lost all your money. I have lost literally everything! I not only lost every cent I made in my life, I also lost my job. I'm about to lose my car, my apartment, and my life that I built for myself!

Dawson:
That's the thing, Pacey. Since graduation, you turned our friendship into a compeition to see who can suceed in life. You're so obsessed with shedding that loser personality that your own parents stamped on you that you destroy everyone's lives around you. You really are a loser! Everything you do will turn out bad. That's not life. That's YOUR life!

[Joey steps in the middle between Dawson and Pacey about to exchanges punches at each other]

Joey Potter:
That's enough, both of you! I can't stand to see any of you like this. Just back off!

Dawson:
[to Pacey] Fine! Just go. Get the hell out of here, Pacey, and take the spector of failure and bad luck with you before you rub more of it off on me or Joey. Get out my sight! I don't even want to look at you!

Pacey Witter:
[somber tone] I didn't mean to lose all your money, Dawson. I had no idea something like that would happen. I'm sorry.

Dawson:
So am I, Pacey. So am I.

Pacey Witter:
Dawson, there's something I need to tell you. It... oh boy. This is bad. We were so getting back to becoming friends again. It's a shame to ruin our friendship this way.

Dawson:
What are you talking about? What would ruin our friendship?

Pacey Witter:
Money, Dawson. That's what would ruin it.

Dawson:
What happened?

Pacey Witter:
[sighs] It's gone, Dawson. It's all gone. Every cent. Your money is gone. My money is gone. Some guy on Long Island money is gone.

Dawson:
What do you mean "gone"? Pacey, that was all the money I had!

Pacey Witter:
I know. Those bio-tech stocks that I put it all in... I-I don't know how this happened. I really thought Stepavich would take off. Everyone was saying that it was the sure thing. Some FDA announcement came back the day before yesterday at finding some side effects that it's wonder drug had on test subjects. The whole company is in bankrupcy. The stock is worthless. From 80-per-share to zero in a...

Joey Potter:
[shocked and angry] Not again. Pacey, not again with you!

Dawson:
[also shocked and angry] Oh, yeah right... right! Typical, so typical! Why else would you... Pacey! Why did you bluntly ignore my request to sell the stock on the day before this FDA annoucement was to take place?

Pacey Witter:
I don't know. I was trying to do the right thing. I thought it would double or triple in value when...

Dawson:
[interupting] Oh Jesus... God, Pacey! It's the same damn story with you! You ALWAYS try to do the right thing! But no matter how hard you try to help others or yourself, you don't have the intelligence or the common sense to see all the pieces of the puzzle. You never did. And you probally never will! God, of all the the countless times you let me down, screwed me over, you really did it this time!

Pacey Witter:
Now wait a minute. Need I remind you that you came to me with your dream. I didn't approach you. You approached me. You were the one that took the chance. You wanted me to help you with your dream of being a great film maker. You gave me your money to help you double it and to finance your movie. Yet again, this boils down to the fact that "I" screwed your over? If that's not a typical reaction on your part, then what is?

Charlie:
Why should I do you a favor?

Jen:
You get to make out with a really hot girl.

Jen:
He's evil. There's no other explanation. I mean, isn't it entirely possible that he is in fact the Devil, crammed into the body of a handsome musician.

Charlie:
Contrary to popular opinion, I may not actually be the devil.

Joey:
Don't get ahead of yourself.

Pacey:
[to Andie] Listen, I know I've been distant recently. But I'm scared. I'm falling hopelessly in love with you. And it's terrifying.

Andie:
Don't worry, Pacey. I share your fear.

Pacey:
Really?

Andie:
Yeah, your exact fear.

[they kiss]

Jen Lindley:
And besides, this is 1998. Sex is always a risky choice.

Jen:
I've been prancing around in front of the entire school at pep rallies, without even knowing what the hell pep is. I've listened to crack and tample about car washing and dog sitting and danceathons until I swear I'm gonna puke up my Homemade Spirit Cookies.

Marcy Bender:
Jenny!

Jen:
And despite the itch in my ass that I know I'm getting from this polystyrene molest-me skirt, I've done it all with a smile on my face.

Jennifer "Jen" Lindley:
Ever since they elected me leader of their little junta, all they want to do are these nasty, sardonic, self-aware cheers. They've even started to dress like me. It's like they're genetically pre-disposed to having absolutely no identity.

Jack:
Yeah, that's the blonde gene.

Andie:
Jen's a cheerleader and Jack's on the football team? OK, so I got sane and everyone else went crazy?

Joey:
So we're friends, and then we're a couple. And then friends again, and then we're a couple.

Dawson:
So?

Joey:
So what are we now?

Dawson:
Dawson and Joey.

Joey:
Do you think every Joey has a Dawson and every Dawson has a Joey?

Dawson:
I hope so. For their sake.

Charlie:
Man, you have managed to land two of the most high maintenance women I have ever met. How did you do it?

Pacey:
High maintenance is just another way of saying high quality.

Mitch Leery:
So... why did you do it? Why did you cheat on me?

Gail Leery:
Get ready, Mitch. If you think it can't get worse, it can. The reason why I was unfaithful is preposterous. I have no reason. I woke up one day a few months ago and I realized that my life was perfect. Everything I've ever wanted from the time I was six, has been realized. I've discovered that perfection obtained is a discomforting state. And I got restless. What do you do when everything in your life is right? When everything is just what you wanted it to be? I have the perfect home, career, the most gifted child, a husband who stimulates me mind, body, and soul every day of my life. I wanted for nothing. And I guess that made me feel empty not wanting. I just wanted to "want" again. Anything out of life. So, I set out to achieve it. And... oh boy, oh boy, did I succeed. But I want now, I want back everything I've lost. Mitch, I'm so sorry.

Mitch Leery:
Shhh! Let's just sit here. I don't want to talk anymore.

Bodie Wells:
What do you object to, Mrs. Ryan? The fact that I'm black and she's white? Or the fact that we're unmarried and about to have a child born out of sin?

Evelyn 'Grams' Ryan:
What I object to, more than any of that, is when children raise children. When young people like Bessie and yourself have no background in parenting a mixed race baby. Get ready, Bodie. When that child is born, people will look upon him as different.

Bessie Potter:
Half-black, half-white, it doesn't matter. This child will be 100% loved.

Joey:
Hang on Dawson, it's going to be a bumpy life.

Joey:
So what is the best ending in all of literature? Don't say Ulysses. Everyone says Ulysses.

Professor David Wilder:
That's easy. Sentimental education by Flaubert.

Joey:
And what happens?

Professor David Wilder:
Nothing, really. Just two old friends sitting around remembering the best thing that never happened to them.

Joey:
How do you remember something that never happened?

Professor David Wilder:
Fondly. You see, Flaubert believed that anticipation was the purest form of pleasure... and the most reliable. And that while the things that actually happen to you would invariable disappoint, the things that never happened to you would never dim. Never fade. They would always be engraved in your heart with a sort of sweet sadness.

Joey:
[voiceover] And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. 'Cause there are things I wanna tell her... to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey, and Dawson. These people who contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is... it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt.

Jen:
What is this feeling? It just seems like everything's getting smaller and smaller. It's all still there, but I just can't touch it.

Jack:
I think it's called good-bye.

Anderson:
My name's Anderson, Anderson Crawford.

Joey:
Congratulations.

Anderson:
So, you come with a name or just an attitude?

Joey:
Just an attitude.

Anderson:
And people find this charming?

Joey:
I haven't asked.

Joey:
Clap hard, Dawson, you may be Tinkerbell's last hope.

Pacey:
I'm a firm believer that sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing.

Joey:
I mean, how many truly great days are we gonna have in our lives?

Dawson:
I don't know. Who knows how many you get? When they do happen to come along, though, I hope you're close by, at least for a few of 'em.

Jennifer "Jen" Lindley:
When you see Belinda and her clique in the hallway, you're desperately wishing that you were walking with them, aren't you? And thinking that maybe if you were wearing the right shoes, sporting the latest hairstyle, and using the hottest shade of lip gloss, then maybe they would toss a glance in your direction. Ever wonder why they force their narrow-minded opinions down our throats? Perhaps it's because they have an inkling of what the future has in store for them beyond graduation. Cut to 25 years from now, Belinda McGovern wakes up one morning feeling empty. Maybe it's because her Dartmouth-educated lawyer husband Tad has run off to Tijuana with her daughter's roommate from boarding school. Or maybe it's because the twins, Timmy and Tommy, call her by her first name and their live-in housekeeper "Mom." Or maybe it's Belinda's daily 2:00, 5:00, 7:00, and 9:15 showdown with her bottle of Prozac. Her life has become a domestic wasteland. Avoid this fate. Don't let yourself become another cookie-cutter blonde, size 4, rah-rah-sis-bam-boom, mindless, soulless, spineless wench. Screw these auditions, screw cheerleading, and screw Belinda McGovern.

Dawson:
Yeah. Less than a week into Junior year and already my life's in complete and utter upheaval.

Joey:
Then I'm probably the last person you want to see.

Dawson:
You're a lot of things, Joey. You're never the last person I want to see.

Principal Green:
Good morning, I'm Principal Green. Welcome to the new school year. Like all of you, in my junior year of high school, I had a new principal. My first day back, he stood before us and imparted some honest and touching words, words which were ment to usher into what he called one of the best years of our lives. This is not that speach. We live in a different time. You children are living and thinking like people twice your age, and why shouldn't you? The rites of passage which onced marked growing up are all but extinct. In short, I'm onto you people. I'm one step ahead of you, for example, like that gentleman in the fifth row who's talking while I'm making a speach. Please stand, sir.

Pacey Witter:
Me?

Principal Green:
What's your name, sir?

Pacey Witter:
[sarcastic] I don't you supposed you'd accept 'Che Guevara', would you?

Principal Green:
Probally not.

Pacey Witter:
Pacey Witter.

Principal Green:
Mr. Witter, I'd like to applaud you for being the first student at Capeside who behaves like one. It is my hope that you all some day will act as such. Be a free thinker. Reclaim your youth, live, learn, screw up. Keep up the good work, Mr. Witter. Oh and by the way, I'll see you on Saturday... for detention!

Joey Potter:
Look, I know that you're pissed at your dad for flaking on you. But that doesn't mean that he's a bad dad, and it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you.

Harley Hetson:
No, it just means he's a dick.

Joey Potter:
Harley...

Harley Hetson:
Do you even like him? Sometimes, I don't see how anyone can ever like him. He's cold, intimidating, and very abrasive.

Joey Potter:
True, but he's also very...

[Joey is suddenly silent and then sighs, unable find any kind words for Professor Hetson]

Harley Hetson:
What? I thought so. He gets off on emotionaly hurting and breaking people down, especially women due to his divorce, failed relationships... it just... every time I'm supposed to come see him, I trick myself into thinking that it's going to be different this time. But it never is. It's always just different shades of the same abrasion and misogyny he puts out to me and any woman or girl he sees.

John Witter:
That bastard was lying to me. He's in it up to his neck and he knows it.

Pacey:
Come on, you don't even know if this has anything to do with him.

John Witter:
A random arson incident in the middle of Capeside? Let's consider the chances of that, Pacey. If God hadn't blessed ya with my good looks, I wouldn't know whose son you were. Why don't you drive yourself home before you make another embarrassing comment?

Pacey:
I think I'll walk.

John Witter:
As if I care.

Pacey:
Nobody assumed you did, Pop.

John Witter:
You'll have to excuse my son, boys. His girlfriend moves away and all of a sudden it's his time of the month.

Pacey:
Screw you, okay?

Pacey:
[Mr. Witter grabs his arm and Pacey quickly removes it] Get your hands off me! You don't touch me again! Ever!

John Witter:
Finally, my boy gets a pair and all it took was getting his heart broken by some girl with a few screws loose.

Pacey:
[Pacey punches him] Andie did more for my life in six months than you did in 16 years, you rotten, drunkard, son of a b*tch! So if you want to make fun of me, if you want to bust on me, that's fine. But if you so much as make one more even slightly disparaging comment about the woman I love, you're going to policing this town from a hospital bed, you understand me? And one more thing, even if Mr. Potter was involved in all this, he's still 10 times the father you ever were!

John Witter:
You have a test to get to. Don't screw up!

Pacey:
Isn't there any positive words you can ever say to me?

John Witter:
I'm positive that you will not screw up!

Joey:
Dawson, how many times a week do you walk your dog?

Dawson:
What?

Joey:
Oh c'mon, you know what I mean.

Dawson:
Good night Joey.

Joey:
Dawson...

Dawson:
Good Night Joey.

Joey:
Good night Dawson.

Dawson:
Joey. Usually in the morning, with Katie Couric.

Jen:
Tell ya what, grams. I'll go to church with you when you say the word "penis."

Joey:
We're growing up, that's all. I mean even Spielberg outgrew his Peter Pan syndrome.

Dawson:
All the mysteries of the universe, all the answers to life's questions can be found in a Spielberg film.

Dawson:
What is your problem?

Joey:
My problem is that from the moment Little Miss Highlights showed up, you haven't said one word to me.

Pacey:
I actually have the possibility of losing my virginity in a high level fantasy fashion.

Dawson:
Don't do this to yourself.

Pacey:
Confused, perplexed, bewildered, mystified - a thesaurus of emotions.

Joey:
I just think our emerging hormones are destined to alter our relationship and I'm trying to limit the fallout.

Pacey:
You want me to take off the happy mask? Then happy mask is off. So, now answer me this one question Joey, why are you with me? Why are you with me? Cause I don't know why I'm still with you. I used to know, but now I don't anymore. What I do know, I feel like I'm Josephine Potter's little charity project. I feel like I'm the designated loser...

Joey:
This isn't about me...

Pacey:
No, it is about you. It's about you and how you make me feel when I'm with you! I feel like I'm stupid, I'm worthless, I'm never right! You know what I realize? It's not my fault! When I'm with you it's "poor Pacey, he didn't get into college," or "stupid Pacey forgot the limo, he ripped my dress, he messed up the corsage.

Joey:
I told you I don't care about any of that.

Pacey:
But I want you to care! I don't want you to accept it like it's supposed to be. We are not trapped on this boat. You and I are trapped in this relationship! I can't take it anymore Joey. When I'm with you, I feel like I'm nothing. That's why I flinch when you touch me. That's why I never touch you, why I never think about it. Because when I do, it just reminds me that I'm not good enough.

Joey:
You done?

Pacey:
No, I'm just getting started.

Joey:
Well, you can stop right now. You can go to hell!

Pacey:
Hey, what if Abby's mother saw us come in here together? She probably thinks I'm trying to get lucky in the middle of her daughter's memorial.

Nina:
I can't believe you're blaming mainstream popularity to artistic merit. Methodology, then shouldn't we be studying Ace Ventura.

Dawson:
Have you developed a lazy eye or were you actively looking in my direction when you said "us"?

Pacey:
[to Rob Logan] If you so much as touch her again I'm gonna nail you to a cross.

Jack:
So how does it feel to have a dream come true?

Dawson:
How would I know? Do I look like I'm trapped in an elevator with Kate Hudson?

Joey:
All I really know about you and your childhood is that you used to play with Barbie dolls.

Charlie:
OK, it wasn't a doll, It was... ok so maybe it was. But Barbie looks really hot naked.

Joey:
Whatever you say.

[the girls are woken by singing]

Audrey:
It sounds like a cat dying.

Joey:
I think it's music.

[they realize it's Charlie serenading Joey]

Audrey:
Could he be any cuter?

Joey:
No, but he could be more in tune.

Audrey:
It's like that movie "You make me want to be a better man"

Joey:
Wouldn't the world thank me more if I made him want to be a better singer?

Audrey:
OK, it's official, you are the Queen of All Negativity. There will be a crowning ceremony later today.

[Dawson and Joey are having an open, honest conversation, just like old times]

Joey:
So what are you doing this summer, Dawson?

Dawson:
This.

[Dawson is silently reading Gretchen's "good-bye" letter]

Gretchen Witter:
[voice-over] Dear Dawson, I've been thinking about what to say to you since I left your house yesterday. I thought about waiting for you to come to my door, saying this face to face. But I knew it would be too hard. I realize that as much as I need to move on, you need to stay here. Your whole life is about to change in a way that will never be the same. You're opening a new chapter, and you have to give a proper goodbye to the old one. You don't want to miss these moments, even the sad ones, because you'll never get them back. So, enjoy this time. Let it wash over you so that your memories of it are strong. Besides, I don't need to spend a month in a car to fall in love with you. I already am in love with you, more than you know. So goodbye, Dawson Leery. Thank you for changing my life and opening my heart again. You'll never know how much it meant to me. Have a bitchin' summer. Love, Gretchen.

Pacey:
...This is... this is your life, and you should enjoy it.

Joey:
How can I enjoy it without you?

Dawson:
Like all great romantics, Shakespeare realized love was a lot more likely to end with a bunch of dead Danish people than with a kiss.

Abby Morgan:
[Convinces Chris to help her solve the mystery] I'll let you touch me in bad places.

Audrey Liddell:
Waitressing is a b*tch!

[Audrey kicks off her boots, one of which hits the books on Joey's desks, knocking them all over]

Joey Potter:
Nice entrance.

Audrey Liddell:
Oww, my feet feels like one enormous blister.

Joey Potter:
I told you not to wear those shoes.

Audrey Liddell:
Okay, it's offical. You do know everything.

[Audrey collapses next to Joey in her bed]

Joey Potter:
Audrey, has it escaped your attention that this is my bed?

Audrey Liddell:
Can I help it that this is the one closest to the door? No.

Joey Potter:
We can't both sleep here together.

Audrey Liddell:
Sure we can. It'll be the most action this bed's ever seen.

Joey Potter:
Well, for your information, I got asked out today.

Audrey Liddell:
[gasps] Of course you said "no".

Joey Potter:
Of course.

Audrey Liddell:
Because your're long-suffering, insane, and fixated on Dawson?

Joey Potter:
How dysfunctional do you think I am?

Audrey Liddell:
About one lithium pill short of 'Girl Interrupted' status.

Jen:
You have no idea how much makeup it takes to look like you're really not that into makeup.

Pacey:
I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and things have a wonderful habit of working themselves out regardless of how you may plan them to the contrary...

Audrey Liddell:
What happened between us, it's just, it's the way that the world works, ok? Pretty much all the time, girls run around and feel bad about themselves. They're either too weak or too stupid to go home alone. So, sometimes guys just win the lottery. That's it. It doesn't mean anything.

Dawson's Aunt Gwen:
When my time is up, I want to know that I did one thing well - loved somebody. The rest is just an expression of that one thing... what's your one thing?

Pacey:
[after Aunt Gwen has caught Joey and Pacey kissing] I think I'm gonna go inside and sing myself some more karoke. 'Cause God knows that's what I want to be doing, singing myself some more karoke.

Pacey:
[to Doug about Dawson] He's like the brother I never had.

Joey:
Then why did you come here, Pacey?

Pacey:
You know, for a bright girl, you can be really daft sometimes. Why do you think I came here? I came here to be with you! It's as simple as that. I mean, when you like somebody, proximity is a good thing, regardless of how they feel about you. Or don't, as the case may be. [starts to walk away]

Joey:
But I felt it.

Pacey:
[stops and turns] What?

Joey:
This morning. Your arm brushed up against me in bed, and... And I felt it.

Pacey:
How did it feel?

Joey:
Made me feel alive.

Pacey:
Ok. Joey... I'm going to kiss you now.

Joey:
You can't.

Pacey:
[starts to slowly walk toward her] Jo, you can't say something like that to me and expect me not to kiss you, so that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna kiss you in about 10 seconds. And if you don't want me to kiss you... Well, if you don't want me to, I guess then you're just gonna have to stop me. 10. [kisses her]

Dawson:
You know us. Just Dawson and Joey. We'll always be just Dawson and Joey... whatever that means.

Dawson's Aunt Gwen:
One thing worse than the pain of loss is the aching void of inaction.

Dawson:
Growing up does not have to equal growing apart.

Joey:
Somehow it does.

Pacey:
I can't keep kissing you, Joey.

Joey:
What do you mean?

Pacey:
I mean just that. *I* can't keep kissing *you.* I've done it twice now. I can't be the one always initiating things. I can't be the one always giving you the answers. Look at me.

Joey:
I can't.

Pacey:
Please. If you felt one shred of what I'm feeling for you, we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation. [starts to walk away]

Joey:
[grabs his hand] Pacey [turns around and starts kissing him]

Pacey:
If you felt one shred of what I feel for you, we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation.

Jen:
I left home because I couldn't handle being the bad girl anymore. But if being the bad girl means not walking around in a perpetual state loneliness. Than bad girl it is.

Joey:
Audery, I really don't think anyone's gonna be noticing what I'm wearing.

Audrey:
Okay, and where would Madonna be if she had that attitude?

Audrey:
Joey, I'm having problems with the tone of my audition tape. Do I go for vixen, vamp, or all-out slut?

Joey:
Well, just as long as you plan on representing all colors of the rainbow.

[looking at Audrey's audition videotape]

Audrey:
[narrating to the camera] I know, great birthday present. I mean what 14-year-old wants to fend for themselves like an adult? But, I have to forgive her, I know that. 'Cause forgiving her is the only way I'm ever going to be good to anyone else. The part that is really terrifying is that I think that... I don't know, I'm like turning into her. I'm loud, shameless, bossy, and I freak people out sometimes. But I don't think I can change that. 'Cause even if I don't particually like who I am, at least I know who that is. And even if I tried to change, who the hell knows who I'll be?

[Joey exitedly rises to her feet and turns off the tape]

Audrey:
What? What's wrong?

Joey:
Nothing's wrong. That's great, that's it. That's the one.

Audrey:
But I'm just sitting there talking to myself.

Joey:
Exactly.

Audrey:
But isn't it kind of cheesy and vulnerable?

Joey:
No, it's you. It's the real you. That girl in the video who's not afraid to look stupid, that's the real you. And for what it's worth, I met your mom and your're nothing like her.

Prof. Greg Hetson:
Look, I don't feel right about unleashing Harley on you, but she's been extra loopy these days. I think it's drugs.

Joey Potter:
It's called hormones. I wouldn't worry about it.

Prof. Greg Hetson:
I'm very worried about her. She's got posters of boys on the ceiling above her bed. Why there, Potter? What purpose do you suppose those pictures would serve in that particular location?

Joey Potter:
Professor Hetson, Harley is completely normal. One might even wonder that she's a cliche.

Prof. Greg Hetson:
I don't like the sound of a "normal" girl. I corrupted a lot of those. They will do anything to not be normal. I want her to be a lot more like you, anxious, bookish, prone to having boyfriends dump you and moving far, far away.

Joey Potter:
[annoyed] Thank you for the reminder.

Prof. Greg Hetson:
So, no boys at the house, or calling the house, or slowing down while walking by the house.

Joey Potter:
You better watch it. Sexual deviation may not be on Harley's mind. But if you keep being this strict with her she might realize that there's something fun and naughty she's apparently missing.

Pacey Witter:
Now hold on, what exactly do you want to talk to me about? From my way of seeing things, we are just two brothers trying to take care of our large family.

Doug Witter:
No, Pacey. I'm the one taking care of the family. I'm the one that's been taking care of the family for years.

Pacey Witter:
Now Doug, don't you dare get righteous on me. You cannot lower your resentment over me because that was your choice to stay here in this crappy small town and look after our drunkard parents, and our sisters, and our screaming, out-of-control nieces and nephews.

Doug Witter:
Yeah, I do happen to make choices. I know that's a foreign concept for you who likes to play musical careers!

Pacey Witter:
How did we get here? I'm I stepping on your turf or something? Are you the only member of the family allowed to be carring and compassionate? What did you expect me to do, Doug? Just chomp on my cigar on the other end of the phone and cut a check for the man's funeral? I am a member of this family.

Doug Witter:
Yeah, convenently. That's the way it is with you lately. You swoop in at Christmas after not calling or visiting for months, bringing your fancy and expensive gifts, and pull wool over the whole Witter family's eyes. And then you're out. Everybody forgets.

Pacey Witter:
Forgets what? That I'm the family failure? The black sheep? I'm never supposed to grow up? I'm not allowed to succeed? I'm I not allowed to want things?

Doug Witter:
We all want things, Pacey. Belive me, we all want things!

Pacey Witter:
Then what? Am I not supposed to get them? Is that it? Or is that Witter males like us are not supposed to get them? We're just supposed to follow tradition; stay in Capeside, get married, have four or five kids, become drunks who hit and abuse our wives and children every day and night just like Dad and Grandad, and later die from alcoholism before reaching age 50? So wait... ultimately, this is not about me or our father, which is kind of pathetic, Doug, considering the condition that man is in right now up there in that hospital bed. This is about you wanting to see my face every day and remind yourself that you're still the better son. That you're top dog. Well, that's just sad, Doug! That's just sad that you see things that way. It's sad that you resent me because I'm a laid back, free thinker and not the obedient lap dog like you... following our father's orders without question all your life just to nuzzle up to him in order to stay on his good side. I miss the daily beatings from our old man just as much as you do, but I had to leave sometime... whereas you chose to stay here close to our father, slash, domestic abuser.

Doug Witter:
Pacey, don't make this a celebration about your retreat from Capeside.

Pacey Witter:
I'm not! Listen... I came here to see you, and to see him. And you know what? He knows it, and he appreciates it. Perhaps he's even happy to know that I... his youngest son and youngest child, whom he ignored, abused, and verbaly put down for the better part of my whole life, is not going to hold a grudge against him until the day he dies. In a strange way, this might even be a good thing.

Doug Witter:
You know it is a good thing, Pacey. It's all yours. You can have it. Enjoy it while it lasts because our father will not be around forever.

Pacey:
Alrighty. Question #1: "Have you ever been intimately aroused by a relative?" So, it's a southern test, huh?

Jen:
#13: "Have you ever experimented with bondage?"

Joey:
Joey: "Have you ever gotten cozy in an airplane?"

Andie:
"... in a public place?"

Chris Wolfe:
"... in your parent's bed?"

Dawson:
"Have you ever caught your parents having sex?"

Pacey:
#63: "Have you ever named your most private of regions?"

Jen:
#69 *Everyone laughing* "Have you ever participated in..."

Joey:
"Have you ever engaged in sexual activity with a member of the same sex?"

Andie:
"... with a transvestite?"

Pacey:
"... with a 4-legged creature?"

Dawson:
"Have you ever paid for sex?"

Chris Wolfe:
Does dinner count?

Andie:
Question #84: "Have you ever fantasized about a friend's significant other?" *Silent* Very quiet in the room all of a sudden.

Jen:
"Have you ever had an affair with a friend's significant other?"

Chris Wolfe:
In my fantasy.

Pacey:
Give me this. *takes magazine* "Have you ever had an affair with a friend's pet?" How come I get all the animal questions?

Joey:
Okay, #100: *pauses* "Have you ever been in love? If so, how many times? Give yourself a point of purity for each time." *Joey looks at Dawson.*

Andie:
Okay, let's score 'em up! Everybody ready?

Dawson:
[reads a question from a HOW PURE ARE YOU? sex quiz] Have you ever paid for sex?

Chris Wolfe:
[looks seriously at Dawson] Does dinner count?

Pacey Witter:
[to Joey] I remember everything.

Pacey:
See this? This is you. It's not showy or gaudy. It's simple. Elegant. Beautiful.

Joey:
It's my mom's bracelet.

Pacey:
I know.

Joey:
How do you know?

Pacey:
Well, because you told me. Six months ago. You were wearing that blue sweater with the snowflakes that you have. You were walking down the hallway at school. I was annoying you as per usual. You said, "Look, Pacey, I just found my mother's bracelet this morning, so why don't you cut me some slack?"

Joey:
You remember that?

Pacey:
I remember everything.

Ethan:
Where are you going?

Jack:
To get a soda. I was wondering - wise, gay sage that you are - is Coke or Diet Pepsi better for my "self-actualization".

Dawson:
I am well aware of the Potter neuroses.

Joey:
I prefer to think of them as quirks.

Andie:
You guys are a bunch of cynics, you know that? I mean, what kind of high school memories will you have if all you did in high school was b*tch and moan about everything?

Joey:
Bitching memories.

Dawson:
Moaning memories.

Joey:
For so long all I've thought about was you, all I dreamed about was you...

Dawson:
What happened?

Joey:
I got my dream, and now I don't have anything else.

[Electioneering]

Chris Wolfe:
I'm gonna go kiss some babes.

Abby:
It's babies, you moron.

Chris Wolfe:
My way's more fun.

Jen:
Put this in your pocket.

Dawson:
No way.

Jen:
This is your symbolic candy bar.

Dawson:
Why is my symbolic candy bar "Crimson Passion" lipstick?

Dawson:
[Jen has lured Dawson to the shore of a forest pool, taken off her clothes and plunged into the water. Dawson is still clothed, on the beach] Jen, you're...

Jen:
[Smiling] Naked. And all wet.

Jen:
[Shyly, Dawson takes off her clothes behind a bush. Jen teases him] Dawson, is that a tree branch or are you just happy to see me?

Dawson:
You know, on occasions like this, it's nice that we can dress up in polyester choir robes and stupid hats, sit in the sun for a couple of hours to mark the occasion. What fashion Einstein came up with this whole outfit? I mean, is this a hat you really want to be wearing the day you know people are going to be taking pictures?

Joey:
I'm not a quitter.

Prof. Greg Hetson:
[cynical tone] People love saying that. It's like they saw it in some movie once and they liked the way it sounded.

Audrey Liddell:
You think we should wake him?

Pacey Witter:
Well, we should. As much as I've enjoyed his ramblings and his questionable taste in music, he has bragged about the number of times he's seen you naked.

Audrey Liddell:
He has never seen me naked.

Pacey Witter:
Really? He knows about the tattoo on you-know-where.

Audrey Liddell:
Wake up you little pervert!

[Jack Osbourne rises from the back seat of their car]

Jack Osbourne:
What the [beep] ?

Audrey Liddell:
What's this about you seeing me naked?

Jack Osbourne:
[to Pacey] What the [beep] did you tell her?

Pacey Witter:
Only what you told me, chief.

Jack Osbourne:
Oh, thanks a lot! Thanks a [beep] lot! I confide in you, and this is what I get?

Audrey Liddell:
I'm listening, Jack.

Jack Osbourne:
Well, you know that telescope in my bedroom? Well, I didn't exactly do much star gazing.

Audrey Liddell:
I'm so telling your father!

Jack Osbourne:
Go ahead, he had a peak too. And I might say that he was really impressed.

Audrey Liddell:
Okay, then I'm telling your mother, and she's really gonna kick your ass, Jack!

Jack Osbourne:
[beat] Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Out of my [beep] way. I gotta take a [beep] piss.

Joey:
Naah, I think I'm going to stay in and watch TV tonight. I hear Luke Perry's back on 90210.

Bessie Potter:
The way I see it, the second kiss is always tougher then the first one.

Joey:
We actually kissed more than once that night.

Bessie Potter:
Yeah, but it only counts as one, and that first kiss? It's the passionate one. It's the one fueled by desire and attraction and all that. Well, the second kiss is rational. You've got time to think about it, to worry and overanalyze. Most women, they prefer that first kiss... but I'm partial to the second one because it's about something more. You'll get that second kiss, Joey, and when you do, it'll be great. It'll be real. It'll be meaningful.

Joey:
[voice-over] Ever had one of those days you wish you could live all over again?

Joey:
So what's the problem?

Andie:
He's... He's not Pacey. Pathetic. I know. I know. And I thought I was over him. I really, really did. But then I bumped into him a little while ago, and... I mean, technically we're friends, right? And that's how I played it. But then it's, like, when I saw him, every irritating/adorable thing he ever did flashed before my eyes, and... I mean, that's the true test, right? When you just bump into somebody... And if you're not over him, then boom - floodgates.

Jen:
Well, because right now you've gotta walk through that front door and tell your best friend that the only girl in the universe he can't live without...

Pacey:
Is the same one that I can't live without.

Joey:
I just wish I were more like you. You feel things, you act on them. Pacey's like that, too. Fearless.

Jen:
I'll let you in on a little secret about the so-called fearless: We're not as tough as you think we are. Pacey's heart is just as breakable as the next guy's... maybe even more so, considering it was already broken when you got there.

Dawson Leery:
Sometimes I think it's a curse to have all these great friends from High School. If all you had was four years of unabated misery, you'd have nobody to miss. Everybody you'd meet would be a pleasant surprise, as opposed to...

Audrey Liddell:
...a total, complete letdown compared to the people you already know.

Jen:
How's this for irony? Bad girl throws up on the white picket fence.

Audrey:
Joey, I am serious. E-mail expression is the scourge of the modern age. The internet has made it way too easy to express oneself. Ok, you have some fleeting thought. You send it. It lands with a thud in some unsuspecting person's mailbox. Said person then reads it, gets irked because you've recapped a conversation that you presumably already had. They fail to respond. You feel slighted. But if you must be one of these pathetic passive/aggressive e-mail types, far be it from me to stop you. What do you have so far?

Joey:
Well... I had "Dear Dawson," and then I erased it.

Audrey:
Why? I think that's a nice start.

Joey:
I seemed cold.

Audrey:
True. I mean, you did just nude-up with the guy. Oh, I'm sorry, or did you guys do it through a hole in a sheet because that's very Dawson and Joey to me.

Dawson:
We can analyze this to death later.

[Dawson tells Pacey about his feelings for Pacey's sister, Gretchen]

Pacey:
Sisters are off-limits. They're like mothers, only pretty.

Evelyn "Grams" Ryan:
A moment. A single moment of true joy is more powerful than a lifetime of sorrow.

Sheriff John Witter:
Now, I never told this to anyone... and so help me I will hunt you down if you breath it to a soul. I got rejected the first time I applied to the police academy.

Pacey Witter:
You did?

Sheriff John Witter:
Yep. Let me tell you Pacey, it was devastating. The second time, I did get in. But I never told anyone, not even my father, your grandfather God rest his soul. Because I knew he'd beat the hell out of me, drunk or sober.

Pacey Witter:
I know I'm not college material, Pop. But I just really, really wanted to go.

Sheriff John Witter:
Look son, I know I've been hard on you about school. It's not because I think you're not good enough to go, or get in. Pacey, I don't know if it's the right thing for you. I don't know if it's ever been right for you. But ask me if I think you are meant to do great things... I might reply positive.

[Joey runs into Drue who's just been suspended from school after being framed for a prank]

Drue Valentine:
Hey, Potter. Send a message to the boys for me. Tell them that I admire the brilliance of their design. No, wait. Just tell them that I said "touch?."

Joey:
Which boys? Who are you talking about?

[Drue is suddenly being forcibly escorted from the school building]

Joey:
Drue, what's going on? What happened?

Drue Valentine:
Karma... finally caught up with me.

Pacey:
I want to say that I am more ashamed of what I did in that classroom yesterday then I have ever done in my life. It was flat wrong and I have no case here. And I'm sorry, for the event. But not now, not ever, will I ever be apologetic for it's intention. Every day, we, the students of Capeside, come to a place where you guys are in charge. You tell us when to arrive, when to leave, when to move rooms, when to eat. You tell us when we're doing well, when we need to be doing better and we never ever question it because we're afraid to. To question it is to go against the belief that the entire system is built upon, the belief that you guys know what's right, and I'm not afraid to tell you that what happended in that classroom yesterday was not right. To make a student cry, to embarrass him, to strip of him of his dignity in front of the entire class is not right. While I do respect the system I do not respect men like you, Mr. Peterson. I don't, I can't, and I never will.

Jack:
[Jack's poem] Today. Today was a day. The world got smaller, darker. I grew more afraid. Not of what I am, but of what I could be. I loosen my collar to take a breath. My eyes fade. And I see... Him. The image of perfection. His frame strong, his lips smooth. And I keep thinking, What am I so afraid of? I wish I could escape the pain, but these thoughts invade my head. Bound to my memory, they're like shackles of guilt. Oh, God, please set me free. Free from the pain and this guilt So that I may face Tomorrow.

Pacey:
This isn't fair.

Mr.Peterson:
Fairness is overrated.

Joey:
I think I love you

Pacey:
You think, or you know?

Joey:
I know

Doug Witter:
Miss Potter, I clocked you going...

Joey:
...You have a radar gun?

Doug Witter:
Visual assessment. You were going a good five to seven miles per hour below the posted speed limit on this particular Capeside thoroughfare.

Jen:
Oww! A piece of crab shell. That's what I need right now, a chipped tooth. It'll keep men away from me for good.

Andie:
If that doesn't work, you can always join me in the nunnery this summer.

Jack:
At least you got to have relationships before they failed.

Evelyn "Grams" Ryan:
Good grief, you all sound like a bunch of old ladies!

Jack:
Then why me? Why do I have to have every moment in my life that should be easy and fun, be judged and scrutinized? I didn't ask for this role, y'know? I didn't ask or want to be this different. I didn't ask to be gay!

Joseph McPhee:
No more than I asked for a gay son. But boy, am I glad I got one.

Joey:
I expected you to say good-bye.

Pacey:
Right. The good-bye scene. I come to you, heart in hand, and announce my plans. You stare at me, pained. But then the Potter sarcasm kicks in. And I walk off, never getting what I came for.

Abby:
I play a crucial role in this little circle. I'm the girl everyone loves to hate. I'm the one you can take all your anger and aggression out on. Why you ask? Why can't I be sweet? Because sweet is boring. I don't have family lives like you guys. My parents divorce is boring, my house is boring, there's no drama. So, you know what? I create drama. And I think that's a valid extracurricular activity.

Abby:
I make a cancer joke and Joey gets mad, or I make a crazy joke and Andie gets upset, or I make a joke about ho-bags and Jen starts humping the couch.

[the girls are watching a porno video found in Dawson's room]

Abby:
You are aware that where this tape begins, Dawson finished.

Andie:
Finished what?

Jen:
Shaking hands with the unemployed.

Joey:
Boxing the bald-headed bishop.

Abby:
Test-firing the missile.

Andie:
All right, I get your point, guys.

Pacey Witter:
This sucks, Dad.

Sheriff John Witter:
Lot's of things in life suck, Pacey! That's why it's my job to prepare a loser like you for that inevitability.

Dawson Leery:
Pacey how could you forget to tell me that Jack was coming with us? Come on, I need some preparation time before facing my adversary who stole Joey away from...

Pacey Witter:
[interrupting] You know what? Screw you, Dawson! This world does not always revolve around you. We can't all be the fair-haired embodiment of perfection. Not all of us have wonder-keen and genius attached to their names. Some of us, like my father and myself, are just simple-minded folk trying to make it through the day without breaking something.

[Pacey is talking to his father who has passed out drunk]

Pacey Witter:
Well, I met this girl. Andie's beautiful. She's smart, she's funny, she's... I tell you, this girl's really something special, Dad. For whatever reason she thinks I'm special too. So, why can't you see that? Why can't you see me? When did you give up on me? When I was five? 10? 12? I'm 16 years old now, Dad! And I'm here and I'm not perfect, but I try so hard for you! It's your job to love me, no matter who I am or what I become because you're my father! You're supposed to love me and give me confidence you drunkard son-of-a-b*tch! I can't do this by myself.

[Pacey has just won a first place trophy for catching a large blue marlin fish]

Sheriff John Witter:
Well, be proud of yourself. Enjoy this moment. A loser like you probably won't have many more like it.

[Sheriff Witter walks off as Pacey angrily sits and Dawson walks over having heard everything]

Pacey Witter:
[to Dawson] Do you have any idea how many times I set myself for that line, over and over and over again? I just can't stop myself from just trying to get one qualified, "good job, son", out of that bastard. He must be right. I really must be a simpleton.

Dawson Leery:
I know it's not the same, but there are other people in your life who recognize and respect your talent and intelligence. One of them is standing right in front of you. The other one is probably sitting in her bedroom having a perky coronary in anticipation from your return from sea.

Gail Leery:
All right. That's it, Abby. I want you to leave.

Abby:
What, you're throwing me out of your own house?

Gail Leery:
That's right. I will not tolorate your attitude anymore.

Abby:
Mrs. Leery, what kind of journalist are you? Oh yeah, I forgot. The trashy kind that sleeps around! The happily married wife who cheats on her husband for no reason! No wonder all the women in this town say bad things about you behind your back!