Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

[while attempting to use a vacuum cleaner to capture a ghostly-seeming Bloo]

Wilt:
No, Ed, no! Not blowing! The other way! The other way!

Eduardo:
Other way?

[flips switch]

Wilt:
Yeah, yeah! That's really sucking!

Eduardo:
[sighs] There's no pleasing him.

[talking about how to get down from the roof]

Mac:
But how? A ladder? Man, this is tough.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
No, sheets!

Mac:
[shouts] Bloo!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
No, no! Sheets! Bed sheets!

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
Shut up, shut up, shut up! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Oh, thank you, helpful trail of clothes. I love you.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
I sowwy Mr. Hewwiman. I've been a bad girl.

Eduardo:
Donde esta el pollo loco?

Wilt:
I don't know where that crazy chicken went.

[Talking about Mr. Herriman]

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
I'll never understand why my sweet, lovable grandmother imagined that stingy stick-in-the-mud!

[Talking about calling in help to catch a "ghost"]

Wilt:
Who are you gonna call?

Coco:
Co-coco!

Wilt:
They've been out of business for years.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Secret door, secret door, secret door, secret door, secret door, secret door!

Mac:
Bloo, you'd better stay away from that secret door. You're going to get in trouble.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Pfft! Secret doors, who needs 'em? What do I care about secret doors?... and the unparalleled delights they keep hidden from the world!

Mac:
[slaps Bloo] Let go, man!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Right, right. It won't happen again.

Mac:
I hope not.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I've got it all under control.

Mac:
You'd better.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
No worries. It's the last thing on my mind. Here, let me get that secret door for you, Mac.

Mac:
Bloo!

Mac:
Secret later, Mac!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
See, I told you they'd go for it.

Mac:
No you didn't. It was my idea.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
But I inspired it with my...

Mac:
Selfishness?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Self*less*ness.

Mac:
[after a night in prison] Man, what a crazy night.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Eh, I've had worse. Nice seeing ya again, Charlie. Say hi to the kids for me.

Guard:
Will do, Bloo.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
Hi, I'm a stupid, lazy door. I'm so stupid and lazy, I won't even OPEN UP!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Mac's in trouble! Mac's in trouble! You are in trouble!

Mac:
You know, you're in trouble, too.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I'm always in trouble!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Rip-off artist!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You don't look so good.

Blooregard's Reflection:
Well, you're no prize either!

[repeated line]

Terrence:
This'll only hurt for a second!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Atta boy, Mac! Down with tyranny! Up with... nontyranny!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Bloo becames angry at the Duchess and rushes her] That's it!

Mac:
Bloo! No! [runs after Bloo and stops him, but the Duchess opens up a trap door under them]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Trap door?

Mac:
Yep.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I hate this house!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Got B.O.? Get DEO!

Madame Foster:
I told you explicitly, implicitly and unequivocally, no wild parties! [beat]... Without me! You know how much I love wild parties.

[Bloo is trying to break up Frankie's date with Dylan by posing as her ex-boyfriend]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Why, Frankie! Fancy meeting you here! How long has it been?

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
[spits out her drink] Bloo?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Why, Frankie, you old girl! I can't believe you still call me that... term of endearment!

[Dylan raises an eyebrow, blinks twice]

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
[to Dylan] Heh-heh, heh-heh, uh... don't listen to this maniac! [to Bloo] What are you doing here, Bloo?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Why, I'm on a dinner date! And please, call me by my first name - Orlando!

Eduardo:
Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes / Everybody likes potatoes.

[others look shocked by this]

Eduardo:
This spud's for you.

Mac:
[trying to teach Bloo how to be sarcastic] Now you try.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I want a cooookie.

Mac:
[pause] Wait. Are you being sarcastic?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I'm being huuuungry.

Wilt:
Hey, how ya doing? Name's Wilt. [Mac and Bloo stare up at Wilt for a long time] Yo, guys! Hello? Oh, I get it. Is cool, is cool. I know I'm all broken, with the wonky eye and the stubby arm. Probably freaks you out, huh? Don't worry, I'll get someone else...

Mac, Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You're tall!

Wilt:
Oh, well, yeah.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You should play basketball.

Wilt:
Oh, well, actually I used to... sure. So, how about that tour?

Cheese:
[with aluminum foil in his teeth] I have braces.

Mac:
You found that on the ground, didn't you?

Cheese:
Garbage can.

Duchess:
And to what do I owe the unwelcomed intrusion of Bloo and boy?

Mac:
Please, your Duchessness. I'm late, Bloo's hungry, and we're lost. Can you tell us how to get downstairs?

Duchess:
Yes.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Cool.

[Duchess resumes eating]

Mac:
Um... hello?

Duchess:
What?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Aren't you gonna show us the way down?

Duchess:
No.

Mac:
But you said...

Duchess:
You asked if I could, and I can. You didn't ask if I would, and I won't.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Why I oughta... and I will!

Mr. Herriman:
Trust me when I tell you that we did not order a dozen pizzas.

Pizza Delivery Man:
Okay. Here's your pizzas, man.

Mr. Herriman:
I reiterate: We did not order any pizzas. And furthermore, I am not a man. I am a rabbit.

Pizza Delivery Man:
Okay. Here's your pizzas, rabbit.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
That's strange. I know I dropped a pair of tighty whities right here.

Mac:
Are you sure?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Trust me, handling someone else's drawers is something you never forget.

Mr. Herriman:
[to Bloo] I dislike you with a great intensity.

Mac:
Are you being sarcastic?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Man, I don't even know any more.

Mac:
You gu-uys!

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
[narrating] Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends is a wonderful, funderful imagination habitation. We provide food, shelter and a warm heart for imaginary friends looking for a place to call *home*. So if you know of or have an imaginary friend that desperately needs a home, then come on down to Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, where good ideas are not forgotten.

Rubber Chicken:
I've heard of mobile phones, but this is ridiculous.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Bloo runs up] Hey, have you seen a mo...

Rubber Chicken:
I already made the joke, son. He went thatta way.

Goo:
[slaps Mac's butt] Now *you're* the wildebeest!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Oh, it's you, Heather...

Berry:
BERRY! MY NAME IS BERRY!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I dunno, you look like a Heather to me.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Except the mice. Mice like Cheese.

Cheese:
[looking down at the mice] Hi doggies.

Cheese:
Can I have some fishy crackers?

Cheese:
I'm a cowboy

Maid:
My scribble scrubs screens.

Kid:
My scribble scrubs scooters!

Man:
My scrubble scribs - I mean, my scrib scrububbles, I mean... [sighs] mine does stuff, too.

[repeated line]

Cheese:
I like chocolate milk!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Berry is driving a train to ram into Mac] That pink whatchamacallit is trying to kill you!

Berry:
[being tied to a giant rubber band ball for the second time] Why does this keep happening to me?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I'm sorry Mac

Mac:
It's okay Bloo, I

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
No, it's not okay, I was selfish and dumb and I took you for granted, and it's almost got you

[quickly changes the subject]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[happily] Paddleball!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[to Mac] See! He's screwing everything up!

Cheese:
Nu-uh! I'm only screwing the wheel!

[repeated line]

Wilt:
I'm sorry, but...

Mac:
What do we do? Nothing is working.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Then it's time to take drastic actions, and I've got just the plan. Operation Abe Lincoln Drop Purple Scaredy Cat Run and Scramble. From the arboreal vantage point, we shall unleash the ultimate weapon, creating a devastating chain reaction the likes of which the galaxy has never known!

Mac:
What?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I drop this fake spider on Eduardo, he freaks out, and everyone runs away.

Mr. Herriman:
Master Mac, Might I ask where are you taking our dear friend Coco?

Mac:
To get some clothes.

Mr. Herriman:
Clothes?

Mac:
Yeah, clothes. She's embarrassed. Coco's nude.

Mr. Herriman:
Yes. Well, technically many of our imaginary friends are nude.

Mac:
Hey, I guess you're right... Pantsless Joe. [Mr. Herriman realizes he's nude and covers himself]

Wilt:
How's the weather up there? Well, how's the weather down *there*?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Partially cloudy, 20% chance of... This isn't helping me.

Wilt:
You're finally getting what you deserve.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
A race car bed? I'm finally getting a race car bed?

Wilt:
No. You're getting your just desserts. A taste of your own medicine.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Is it bubble-gum flavored?

Madame Foster:
But as we all know, time stops for no man.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
What about imaginary friends? Does it stop for imaginary friends?

Madame Foster:
Not on my watch.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Come on, let's spice this up the way I did Taco Night.

Mr. Herriman:
That was you? I thought Jolly Buttons...

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
No, me. I just framed Jolly.

Mr. Herriman:
We had him deported!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I know. He still sends me postcards.

[postcard reads, in cutout letters - "I will get you."]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Imitates Mr. Herriman] Order, order! Stop your fun-having at once. I have something useless and boring to say.

Cowboy Hat Friend:
Seriously, this new friend is no joke. They say he came from some deranged, looney town.

Tiny Counterpart:
Created by some deranged looney.

Moustached Giraffe Friend:
And that he is also looney, and deranged as well.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I get called out all the time. Bullies, criminals, old ladies...

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Being a burden is great. It's like my... seventh favorite thing to be.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
Who-hoa! A little sour under that sweetness.

Eduardo:
And a little loco.

Uncle Pockets:
[singing] I'm a professional friend imaginary / When I return, I'm never weary / I'm a professional friend imaginary / I love everyone... except Gary. You know what you did! Nah, just kidding.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Best imaginary friend ever, eh? He's using a knife for pizza. Sus-*pee*-cious!

Uncle Pockets:
S-Stop looking at me with such disdain. Please, I can explain.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
No, allow me to explain. It was a dark and stormy night when everyone's favorite Uncle Pockets arrived.

Mr. Herriman:
That's preposterous. It was morning and quite sunny.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I said, allow *me*.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
Sounds like someone's a little jealous.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Not jealous. Journalis... t.

Mac:
Bloo, have you ever read "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You know I don't read.

Mac:
Well, maybe you should start.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Reads "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"] Let's see... there's a boy... who lies... lies some more... again with the lying... he tells the truth... nobody believes him... kid gets eaten by a wolf. Well, that was a colossal waste of time. What does that have to do with anything?

Uncle Pockets:
[Uncle Pockets, considered to be "the best imaginary friend ever" has returned to Foster's] When I was first imagined I was happy as could be / but through the years my boy matured and he grew too old for me / without a home to call my own I wandered in the streets / until I met a sweet old Madame and she said "Come with me!" / she took me in, gave me a bed, and three square meals a day / through the years I watched Foster's grow but not long did I stay / a sweet little girl adopted me and I became her friend / but she too grew and returned me here where I was adopted again and again. [starts singing] I'm a professional friend, imaginary / I've had kids tall, short, and hairy / I'm a professional friend, imaginary / I'm agreeable to all, except dairy.

Wilt:
How many kids have you had?

Uncle Pockets:
More than you could count!

Eduardo:
But don't you ever miss them?

Uncle Pockets:
Not even a small amount!

Uncle Pockets:
[singing] I'm a professional friend, imaginary / upon return I'm never wary / I'm a professional friend, imaginary / I love everyone, except Gary! [to Gary] You know what you did! Just kidding! [he laughs]

Uncle Pockets:
[continues singing] I'm a professional friend, imaginary / I'm tops on the best friend list / I'm a professional friend, imaginary / the best friend to exist / the best friend to exist / the best friend to... E-XIST! / the best friend to exist!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[scowling] Pssh! Anyone can do that! [starts singing, mocking Uncle Pockets; Mac watches him] La-la-la, look at me / dancing around / my name's Bloo / I'm the best... around.

Mac:
You just rhymed "around" with "around".

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[imitating Mac] "You just wehn ah-meh neh meh-neh."

Mac:
Bloo, you ever read the story about the boy who cried "wolf"?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You know I don't read!

Mac:
Maybe you should start.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Reading the Boy Who Cried Wolf] Okay. There's a boy... he lies... he lies some more... again with the lying. Finally he tells the truth... no one believes him... he gets eaten by a wolf. Well, that was a colossal waste of time! What does that have to do with anything? [the phone rings. Bloo answers it] Newsroom.

Mac:
[on the pay phone] Bloo!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Mac? Glad you called. That is the last time I take a book recommendation from YOU.

Mac:
Say, Wilt. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

Wilt:
Why?

Mac:
To get to the bottom!

Mr. Herriman:
[Frankie accidentally breaks all of Herriman's spare busts] Miss Frances, you know the rules. Clean it up.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
Rules, schmules! I'll clean you up, you crazy rabbit! Come back here and I'll clean your clock! [Chases Herriman with broom]

Mr. Herriman:
Miss Frances, remember the rules! No running in the house!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
It's a hundred and six blocks to Mac, I've got a full bladder, half a mind where I'm going, it's Tuesday and I'm wearing sunglasses.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
[Opens window] Hit it! [Bloo jumps out]

Mac:
[Bloo is convinced he is a nerd] I-I have friends!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Oh, yeah? Name one.

Mac:
You.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
That's right. And you had to MAKE ME UP!

Mac:
Well, um, there was this one kid who invited me to his birthday party. Well, he said he was going to... but maybe he didn't have it yet! Well, maybe he did and he didn't call. But he could have lost my number! But then it's in the phone book. But it's under my mom's name! But then he could have just asked me my mom's name. [stops] Bloo, maybe you're right. I am a nerd!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
It's okay, son. It's gonna be all right. [to the lightbulb imaginary friend] Bulby, shut off the light! Just shut it off!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Light switches off] And get me a juice box! [slurps] This isn't cran-apple! [slurps] I hate this... [takes a long slurp]

Bunny #1:
[Mr. Herriman finds it hard to say goodbye to his new rabbit friends after a camping trip] Go on, Herriman. It's where you belong.

Mr. Herriman:
I'll never forget you. If there is anything I could ever do for you...

Bunny #1, Bunny #2:
Actually, we would like to come inside and live with you where it's warm and safe, away from the wolves.

Mr. Herriman:
What, are you mad? I'd never let poopy savages like you into Foster's! Indeed. [he hops away]

Bunny #1:
Sucker! I took his wallet!

Bunny #2:
To the mall!

[Repeated line]

Cheese:
Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!

Mac:
Hey, Bloo. What are you doing?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I'm raising money to buy Foster's a new roof. I'm saving the day with a lemonade stand. I've seen it in movies.

Mac:
But it's the dead of winter.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
And?

Mac:
It's cold out?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
And?

Mac:
It's raining?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
And?

Mac:
And no-one is going to buy ice-cold lemonade when it's already ice cold outside?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
And?

Mac:
Stop it!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Mac, maybe you didn't hear me. I... seen... it... in... movies!

Mac:
was it summer in those movies? You know, summer? The time season when people drink lemonade?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
It seems so obvious now that you mention it.

Mr. Herriman:
I say, I'm quite surprised that old roof lasted as long as it did. Seems we'll have to dip into the emergency fund for a new one.

Madame Foster:
Yes, siree.

[they open the safe]

Mr. Herriman:
Madame?

Madame Foster:
Yes?

Mr. Herriman:
Why is the emergency fund missing?

Madame Foster:
Oh, yes. I almost forgot. I spent it last year to buy this gold-plated safe.

Mr. Herriman:
I see. You spent our emergency fund on a container for our emergency fund?

Madame Foster:
That would be true.

Mr. Herriman:
So we have no money for a new roof?

Madame Foster:
Well, if you're going to put a negative spin on it, sure we don't! But look on the bright side: It's a beautiful safe. This is real gold-colored paint. *Glorious*! He, he, he!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Today's cookie consumer is more discriminating than last week's. They want a cookie with edge. A cookie with attitude. They want less flavor and more fla-vah.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
Must stop eating cookies. Resist sugary goodness. Never! Cookies are your friend! You shall give in to the triple chocolate!

Madame Foster:
I'm sorry. But maybe you can sell them again next year.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Next year? Who knows when that'll be.

Eduardo:
You firing me?

Blooregard 'Bloo' Q. Kazoo:
It's called downsizing, babe. We're all taking cuts. I had to settle for 23-carat gold for this statue of me I had commissioned. Fortunately, the diamond teeth help draw the eye away.

Butler:
Yes, Master Bloo?

Blooregard 'Bloo' Q. Kazoo:
Butler, make me a pizza.

Butler:
Deep dish?

Blooregard 'Bloo' Q. Kazoo:
The deepest money can buy.

Butler:
Toppings?

Blooregard 'Bloo' Q. Kazoo:
Pepperoni and olives. No, wait, rubies! Oh, and sapphires. Yum! And give it an emerald-encrusted crust. And deliver it in a box made of the finest cardboard crafted from the wood of the baobab tree found only in Zanzibar island.

Butler:
I will deploy the delivery truck, sir. You will have it in thirty minutes or less.

Blooregard 'Bloo' Q. Kazoo:
Thirty minutes? But I'm hungry!

Madame Foster:
This is my recipe! You stole it!

Blooregard 'Bloo' Q. Kazoo:
It's business, babe. Don't blame me, blame our capitalist society.

Blooregard 'Bloo' Q. Kazoo:
What do you want me to say? I was a terrible friend! I'm the lowest lifeform in existence. I'm like a one-celled paramecium, but worse! I'm a zero-celled paramecium! A zero-celled paramecium who's ugly and smelly and mean to his friends!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[On the loudspeaker] Come and get the taste sensation that's sweeping the nation! The chocolate confection that's baked to perfection! The homemade concoction that's free in dioxin!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[the crowd stares at Bloo] What, dioxins? They're any of the several carcinogenic or teratogenic heterocyclic hydrocarbons that incurs impurities and petroleum-derived herbicides, like meat and dairy products. [the crowd continues staring]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
They're bad for you!

Crowd:
Yay!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[On the loudspeaker]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Come and get the taste sensation that's sweeping the nation! The chocolate confection that's baked to perfection! The homemade concoction that's free in dioxin!

Crowd:
[the crowd stares at Bloo]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
What, dioxins? They're any of the several carcinogenic or teratogenic heterocyclic hydrocarbons that incurs impurities and petroleum-derived herbicides, like meat and dairy products.

Crowd:
[the crowd continues staring]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
They're bad for you!

Crowd:
Yay!

[Bloo is telling Mac about a disgusting "vomit" dish Frankie is making]

Mac:
Bloo, why would she be making vomit?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Because she has no carrots, but that's not the point.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Bloo and Mac are lost in the house, so they jump into the laundry chute] Yes! How awesome is that? The laundry chutes actually go to the laundry room!

Mac:
Well, duh.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Hey, after the afternoon we've had, I don't trust anything in this crazy house.

Mac:
Good point.

Mac:
It's just a Whizby.

Eduardo:
It not just a Whizby! It flying disc of doom that wants to eat me!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
The Whizby wants to eat you?

Eduardo:
Si, it wants to...

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
The Whizby wants to eat you? The Whizby wanted to be caught by you! And now it's gone forever. So thanks for ruining our fun.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
It's a good thing you live here at Foster's. A scaredy baby like you wouldn't last one second out in the real world.

Eduardo:
Yes I would! I would last mucho segundos! Mucho, mucho segundos!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Sure you would.

Eduardo:
I would! I would, I would, I would, I would! I'm going to run away, far away! And then you'll see, and everyone will see that I'm no scaredy baby! [Eduardo runs away]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Well, good luck with that.

Terrence:
People are always asking me, "Terrence, what makes you the bestest, most awesomest trainer in the extreme-o-saur circuit?" And I tell them, "Butt out! It's none of your business!"

Mac:
I think Whizby's a little too intense for you. Maybe we could go inside and eat some potatoes. You like potatoes, right?

Eduardo:
But I could choke.

Wilt:
How about we just sit around and read?

Eduardo:
Paper cut!

Coco:
Co co-co?

Wilt:
Yeah, Eduardo. Can we stand?

Eduardo:
But your feets could get tired.

[the others walk away]

Eduardo:
The feets! Beware the tired feets!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[disapprovingly] I don't know whose plan this was.

Wilt:
It was yours.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
And it's genius.

Prince:
[to Frankie; Bloo, the pizza guy, and Mac are watching] Oh, fair lady. Forgive my discourtesy. For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. But I see now that heaven has been brought to me. Pray tell me, fair damsel, what have you been doing in my dreams all my life?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Oh, no! He's using lines!

Prince:
Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

Pizza Delivery Man:
Good ones!

Prince:
Is your father an alien because you are out of this world?

Mac:
Really good ones!

Prince:
I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away! Is there an airport nearby, or is that my heart taking off? If this house were a meat market, you would be PRIME RIB.

Pizza Delivery Man:
Whoa!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Whoa!

Mac:
Whoa!

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
[unmoved] Whoa.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
[to Bloo stacked on top of Mac and the pizza guy in a suit] All right. I got your game. Here, [pushes a plate of steak toward him] eat, Mr. Real Man.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[uneasily] Uhh... don't mind if I do... [just stands there] Don't mind if I do eat some food... [still standing] Don't mind if I do [to Mac inside the suit] Pick up a fork and eat some of the food that is on the table in front of me! [Mac struggles to reach for a fork and picks up a spoon instead, trying to stab the steak]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Oh, silly me. [to Mac] A spoon can't pick up a steak! [Mac throws the spoon and begins searching the table noisily for a fork]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[guiding Mac; Frankie watches, exasperated] Left. Left. Your other left. Up. Right. Okay, down. Left. [Mac finds the fork] There we go!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Mac blindly stabs the steak with the fork] Now to lift it up into my mouth. [Mac holds up the steak, unable to reach Bloo's mouth]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[bending down from the top, trying to reach the steak with his mouth] Ahh... [strains himself towards it] Ahhh... [strains himself even more] Ahhhh... [finally chomps on the steak and ends up with the whole thing is his mouth] Mmmm! Exquisite! Mmmmm...

Prince:
I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away. Is there an airport nearby, or is that my heart taking off?

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
[to Bloo stacked on top of Mac and the pizza guy in a suit] All right. I got your game. Here, [pushes a plate of steak toward him] eat, Mr. Real Man.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[uneasily] Uhh... don't mind if I do... [just stands there] Don't mind if I do eat some food... [still standing] Don't mind if I do [to Mac inside the suit] PICK UP A FORK AND EAT SOME OF THE FOOD THAT IS ON THE PLATE ON THE TABLE IN FRONT OF ME! [Mac struggles to reach for a fork and picks up a spoon instead, trying to stab the steak]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Oh, silly me. [to Mac] A SPOON CAN'T PICK UP A STEAK! [Mac throws the spoon and begins searching the table noisily for a fork]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[guiding Mac; Frankie watches, exasperated] Left. Left. Your other left. Up. Right. Okay, down. Left. [Mac finds the fork] There we go!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Mac blindly stabs the steak with the fork] Now to lift it up into my mouth. [Mac holds up the steak, unable to reach Bloo's mouth]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[bending down from the top, trying to reach the steak with his mouth] Ahh... [strains himself towards it] Ahhh... [strains himself even more] Ahhhh... [finally chomps on the steak and ends up with the whole thing is his mouth] Mmmm! Exquisite! Mmmmm...

Goo Goo Ga Ga:
Hiiiiiii Mac!

[repeated line]

Wilt:
I'm sorry, but this is NOT okay!

Wilt:
Oh guys, this is Eduardo. He's one of the nicest imaginary friends here at Foster's! He couldn't hurt a fly!

Eduardo:
Oh si, I'm too scared of them anyway!

Coco:
Coco?

Mac:
No, thanks.

Coco:
Coco?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Yes!

Coco:
Coco?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Yes!

Coco:
Coco?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Yes!

Coco:
Coco?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Yes!

Coco:
Coco?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[shouts] Yes!

Coco:
Coco?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[shouts] Yes! With marshmallows!

Wilt:
Oh, no, Bloo. This is Coco. She wasn't asking you if you *wanted* cocoa, it's just that... well, all she ever says is "Coco."

Coco:
Coco!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Then what *was* she asking?

Wilt:
[imitating Groucho Marx] You want any juice?

Mac:
All right, guys! Let's bloo this!

Wilt:
Aww, Man! I'm sorry, but that was not *ok*!

Eduardo:
Muy stinko!

Coco:
[shouts] Coco!

Terrence:
Lame! That was stupider than even me!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Yeah, Mac! C'mon! "Let's bloo this?" That was so stupid!

Mr. Herriman:
"I'll be back." Hmpf! If I had a carrot for each time I've heard that, I'd be a very fat rabbit!

Eduardo:
[shouts] Aahhhhhh! I no monstruo!

[running from Bloo, who thinks he is a monster]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Wait! Come back! I just want to punch you!

Wilt:
[explaining an imaginary friend who looks like Mojo Jojo from "The Powerpuff Girls"] Some kids aren't that creative, so they just copy what they see on TV. What you gonna do?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
But, c'mon! 'Bloofus?' How stupid can you get?

Terrence:
Hey, no STUPID imaginary friend of my STUPID little brother is gonna tell me how STUPID I am, cause i know how STUPID I - [catches himself when he sees Mac and Bloo's stupid wide grins] SHUT UP!

Wilt:
I'm sorry, but why would you want fleas?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Because Eduardo has them! He always gets everything cool.

[Eduardo's fleas have taken control of Mr. Herriman]

Fleas:
Attention, people of Foster's! We have taken your leader hostage.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Step aside, I'll handle this. These guys love me. [Fleas make Mr. Herriman slap Bloo] Ow!

Fleas:
You were the one who destroyed our city. And now we will destroy your leader, or at least make him keep hitting himself, unless you let us live in peace.

Fleas:
Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

Mr. Herriman:
I cannot stop! They're being ironic by even suggesting that I'm doing it to myself!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Can't I even have just one?

Eduardo:
No! Especially not Juan! He is my favorite.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Look at me! I got new fleas and they're bigger than yours. They're super fleas.

Mac:
Bloo, those are ticks. They suck out your blood.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Yeah, ri... [Faints]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Bloo bangs into Cheese] You might wanna watch where I'm going there.

Cheese:
I like chocolate milk.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Confused] Okaaay...

Cheese:
I like chocolate milk.

Cheese:
[has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!

Mac:
You found that on the ground, didn't you?

Cheese:
Garbage can.

Cheese:
[walks in wearing lipstick] I'm a lady!

[goes over to Bloo, and kisses him]

Cheese:
Now we're brother ladies!

Cheese:
I like cereal.

Mac:
But, Bloo, I thought you didn't like Cheese.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You know what, Mac? You're right. I didn't like Cheese. I had difficulty tolerating Cheese. And as far as I could tell, nobody else really had a taste for Cheese, either. Except the mice. Mice like Cheese.

Cheese:
Hi, doggies.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
But now, even though Cheese once made my stomach turn, I love Cheese. I hope to have my taste of Cheese every day, maybe even for the rest of my life, even though Cheese smells. I think if we look deep in our hearts, we can all have an appreciation of Cheese, and embrace his unique... flavor, if you will. I love you, brother.

[hugs Cheese]

Cheese:
I pooted.

Cheese:
Brother! And together we're...

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Don't say it!

Cheese:
We're...

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Don't!

Cheese:
We're...

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I said...

Madame Foster:
Bloo Cheese?

Mac:
Time for paint.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Yes! Awesome! Super-duper rad hot-rod flames!

Cheese:
No, bunnies!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Hot-rod flames!

Cheese:
Bunnies!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Hot-rod flames!

Cheese:
Bunnies!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Hot-rod flames!

Cheese:
Bunnies!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Hot-rod flames!

Cheese:
Bunnies!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Hot... rod... flames!

Cheese:
[Whispering] Buuunies!

Mac:
Quiet! [Cut to Mac and Bloo pushing cart painted with flaming bunnies]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I don't even know you anymore.

Mac:
Shut up. At least the bunnies are on fire.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You look like a man in need of an imaginary friend. Take a look at this adorable little guy, Cheese.

Man:
Cheese, eh? What's he do?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Whatever you want. Entertain your kids, clean your dishes, paint your house, bear heavy loads.

Man:
I don't know...

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Tell you what? You adopt Cheese, and I'll toss in Crackers for free.

Man:
Cheese *and* crackers, eh?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Absolutely. Hey, Crackers.

[Crackers, a pink imaginary friend, enters]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
This guy wants to adopt you.

Crackers:
Really?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
What do you say?

[Cut to Crackers at Foster's, crying]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Sorry, Crackers, but I guess he was just hungry. He must have wanted real crackers.

Crackers:
That's what they all say!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Hey, Cheese. You want to play another game?

Cheese:
Yes!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
It's the funnest, most awesomest game ever.

Cheese:
Yes, yes!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Do you want to know what's it called?

Cheese:
Yeees!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
It's called...

[tosses Cheese in the closet, nails the door shut, installs a metal door and chains it]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
...sit still in the closet and be quiet for the rest of eternity!

[laughs]

Cheese:
I like this game.

Cheese:
This floor tastes funny.

Cheese:
I like potatoes

Frances 'Frankie' Foster:
He was eating soap when I found him.

Cheese:
Potatoes smell like flowers.

Mr. Herriman:
[to his visitor] Ah, Mr. Factor, I presume?

Ben E. Factor:
Please, call me Benjamin. Edward... Factor... the Third... Esquire... [holds up a toothbrush] D.D.S.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[Mac and Frankie are trying to teach Bloo how to be sarcastic] Hey, Duchess, [sarcastically] You're sooo beautiful!

Duchess:
I know. So nice of you to notice.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
No, I was being sarcastic. I meant that you're ugly!

Duchess:
[sarcastically] Yes, and you're a supergenius. This conversation is over!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Cool! She called me a supergenius!

Mac:
That's the plan. Got it?

Blooregard:
No. When do we go "Bleagh!" to Young Man Rivers?

Mac:
Bloo, leave him alone. He's just a child.

Blooregard:
But he went "Bleagh!"

Wilt:
Just keep them occupied.

Eduardo:
But how I do that?

Wilt:
Make small talk.

Eduardo:
Small talk. Small talk... Flies. Peanuts. Dimes. Oh, and sweaters. They get muy, muy small in the wash.

Father:
He won't give us the adoption forms. He justs keeps going on about the solar system.

Eduardo:
It is small in the cosmic sense. You know who Copernicus is?

Goo:
All of you go inside and see the big badger!

Madame Foster:
Don't you do a lick of business with him, Wilt! He borrowed a cup of sugar from me in 1962, and never returned one granulatory ounce!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Please, I'm allergic to tomatoes, and rejections!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
We lost! We lost! I can't believe we lost!

Mac:
Bloo, the movie didn't have an ending.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
What are you talking about? Audiences today don't care about endings. As long as everything else is awesome, you don't need an en... [Interrupted by "The End" title]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You have my word... that this will be the wildest, partiest, housiest house party this house has ever partied!

Mac:
Pour some sugar on Mac!

Mac:
[hyper from eating sugar] Pour some sugar on Mac!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[to Mac, who is hyper from eating sugar] Maybe the other friends were right. Maybe you *are* ruining this party!

Mac:
[shouts] MAYBE YOU RUIN CHOCOLATE!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You're right. Maybe I *do* ruin chocolate. Be that as it may, *you're* not getting any more!

Handy:
Things are getting out of hand!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You always say that!

Gummi Bear:
[comes up with half his ear bitten off] Your friend ate half my ear!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
You always say that!

Gummi Bear:
No, I don't!

Mr. Herriman:
Master Blooregard, I'll have you know I am sworn to uphold the integrity of this household. I trust you to refrain from your usual numbskull plots and knuckleheaded shenanigans.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
They're really more like harebrained schemes.

Mr. Herriman:
If they were harebrained, they'd be clever.

Mac:
No Bloo! No! You wouldn't like me when I have sugar!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
What's shakin', Shaky? How's it hangin', Hangy?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
It's not going to work.

Coco:
Coco!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
He's going to know it's you. [Coco dials phone]

Mr. Herriman:
[answers phone on hallway] Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Mr. Herriman speaking. How may I assist you?

Coco:
Coco cocococo?

Mr. Herriman:
Is our refrigerator running? Yes, I do believe it is.

Coco:
Coco coco-co!

Mr. Herriman:
I shall better go catch it indeed! [Runs out door]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I stand corrected.

[Bloo finds Mac, naked and delirious from too much sugar, in an alley]

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Hey, pal. We okay?

Mac:
S-s-sugar.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
What's that?

Mac:
Sugar! Need sugar!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Oh, sugar. You mean like this piece of gum?

Mac:
Sugar! Precious sugar! [Takes gum, spits it out] It burns us! It burns us! [They pull Mac into the car and drive off] You said... it was sugar.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Right, sugar. Sugar-free.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I'll take care of Herriman.

Eduardo:
How you do that?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
How am I going to do it? How am I going to do it? Seriously, how am I going to do it? I've got nothing.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Uh, we've been robbed? Faulty plumbing? Monsoon season? Winter... windtime?

Mr. Herriman:
Looks more like a wild party.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Wild party? There was no wild party. Now if you excuse me, I've got to go get my naked friend.

Madame Foster:
I told you explicitly, implicitly and unequivocally, no wild parties!

[beat]

Madame Foster:
...Without me! You know how much I love wild parties.

Mac:
There's gotta be a way to get him out of that totally awesome room.

Coco:
[whispers] Coco coco.

Mac:
Coco, I think if we did that we'd go to jail.

Terrence:
Okay, now it's time for you to do what you were created to do. Smash Bloo! You got it?

Red:
Yeah, yeah. Smash Bloo.

Terrence:
That's my boy. Now go, get Bloo.

[Red leaves]

Terrence:
Oh, man. This is gonna to be so rad.

Red:
Got Bloo.

Terrence:
That was fast.

Red:
[holds up flower] Smash Bloo.

Terrence:
What?

Red:
[sniffs flower] Mmm. Bloo smash pretty.

Eduardo:
This is for Frankie. What is two plus three?

Frances 'Frankie' Foster:
Uh, five?

Eduardo:
Se?or Herriman?

Mr. Herriman:
Of course it's five, you numbskull.

Eduardo:
Azul?

Blooregard 'Bloo' Q. Kazoo:
Well, Ed, my opponents say five. But you know what I say? Five is not good enough! I say six, or seven, or even forty-two!

Mac:
Bloo, same question. If you were president, what would you change?

Blooregard 'Bloo' Q. Kazoo:
[after a long pause] Herriman smells like poo. [Crowd cheers]

Mr. Herriman:
But he's just mudslinging! [Mr. Herriman is hit in the face with mud] I should have seen that coming.

Blooregard 'Bloo' Q. Kazoo:
All I ask of the people at Foster is to consider this: a vote for me is a vote for utter chaos and two plus three equaling forty-two. Bloo for President!

Mac:
That can't be Stevie! That kid very cleary saw you chasing him!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Yeah, how do you know, Mister Smarty-Pants?

Mac:
He ran from you!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[an imposter Bloo is trying to get Mac to give him Ice Capades tickets] Mac, look me in the eyes. You know it's me. Think of all the times we've had together, think of the special bond that only best friends can share. Mac, you complete me. I... I love you.

Mac:
Yeah, okay, sappy. It's definitely not you.

Wilt:
Well, if it isn't Ditchy Mcabandonpants.

Weather Forecaster:
As a cold front sweeps in, you can expect showers in Spokane.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Showers in Spokane. Spooo-Caaaahhhnn.

Weather Forecaster:
Temperatures are up there, and it's hot in Topeka.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
It's hoooooooot in Toooooo-peeeee-kaaaaaaahhhh. It's hot. Hot hot. Hot hot hot. Haawwwwt. [breathes out] Hot! Hot! Hot-it hot hot hot! It's hot in Topeka! Toe-peaker. I'm a toe-pick. I'm a hot toe-picker. Pick my toe, it's hot! Pick my hot toe, pick it! Topeka's hot, my toe is hot, pick it. It's hot in Topeka. It's hot! It's hot! It's hoooot! It's hot in, it's hot in, it's hot in Topeka! [pause] Topeka.

Cheese:
I have ringworm.

Cheese:
I have gingivitis.

Cheese:
I have scurvy.

Cheese:
I have dandruff.

Cheese:
I have athlete's foot.

Cheese:
I have tapeworm.

Cheese:
I have mange.

Cheese:
I have dermatitis.

Cheese:
I have acne.

Cheese:
I have enteritis.

Cheese:
I have tonsillitis.

Cheese:
Candy is broken.

Frankie:
[sings to Cheese to stop him from screaming] Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop / When the wind blows, the cradle will rock / When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall...

Cheese:
Fall? Aaaah!

Frankie:
Oh, geez! Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water / Jack fell down and broke his...

Cheese:
Broke? Aaaah!

Eduardo:
I got one. The itsy-bitsy spider...

Cheese:
Spiders? Aaaah!

Frankie:
Baa, Baa, black sheep, have you...

Cheese:
Sheep? Aaaah!

Mac:
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake...

Cheese:
Cake? Aaaah!

Coco:
[to "Three Blind Mice"] Co-co-co, co-co-co...

Cheese:
Coco? Aaaah!

Frankie:
Quick, someone think of another song! Something that's not scary!

Blooregard:
I've got one. [Inhales and sings] Great, green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts / Mutilated monkey meat...

Frankie:
Bloo!

Mac:
Wait, Frankie! Look! [Cheese is calming down]

Blooregard:
...Great, green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts floating in my ice-cream / And I don't got a spoon.

Cheese:
No spoon? Aaaah!

Blooregard:
This is fun!

Cheese:
Sprinkle, sprinkle, little bar / What I wonder is a cat?

Blooregard:
Boring! When did things get boring again?

Frankie:
Never in my years have I met, seen, or even heard of anyone so aggravating and capable of driving you to the very brink of insanity!

Goo:
Hiiii, everybody!

Mac:
I am the ball. I am the pins. The pins are my enemy. I am my enemy. I must roll my soul down the center of the lane and destroy my enemy, thus destroying myself, but in destroying myself, finding peace.

Madame Foster:
Ed, stop being such a wimp!

Eduardo:
No! Too noisy! Too scary!

Madame Foster:
Oh, I'm sorry, Eddie. What I meant to say was... Stop being such a wimp!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Bring me the magic, O shiny eagle.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[to crane machine] Please. I've given you what you want. Now help me get what I want. You wouldn't miss that old paddleball anyhow, and you would know it was going to a good home, with someone who would shelter it, love it, paddle it... So come on! Let's work together so that everyone can be happy! [Tries to get paddleball, but misses] This game is a dork!

Bowling Paul:
First, you need a ball.

Mac:
I don't have a ball.

Bowling Paul:
Then, my son, you don't have a soul.

Mac:
But I can get a ball.

Bowling Paul:
You think souls are so easy to come by?

Mac:
But there's a bunch of balls over there.

Bowling Paul:
Oh, right.

Bowling Paul:
Life is like a narrow road. You can walk on the right, you can walk on the left, or you can walk down the middle.

Mac:
Isn't walking down the middle of the road dangerous?

Bowling Paul:
Well, duh! In walking, totally dangerous! You could get hit by a car or something. But in bowling, the middle of the road is the path to victory.

Mac:
Sweet, sweet victory.

Bowling Paul:
If I could rename this game, it'd be souling, not bowling, and I would be Souling Paul. And we would all be at the souling alley and roll our souls down the lane to the pins of life and see which way they fell.

Mac:
That was beautiful.

Bowling Paul:
I know.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[while at a swap meet, Bloo has his eyes on a mongoose versus cobra statue] Mac, are you seeing this? It's perfect! Mac, are you seeing this? It's perfect!

Mac:
[looks at the statue] Perfectly disgusting.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[to the vendor] Hey, how much for the mongoose-cobra-thingy?

Strange vendor:
Oh, that? That one's... free.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Free? Ha-ha! Yes! [he takes the statue and starts walking away]

Strange vendor:
[stopping Bloo] Da-da-da-da-da-ra. THREE hundred dollars.

Mac:
For that? But it's so gross!

Strange vendor:
Regardless, it is still three hundred.

Mac:
Ugh! Come on, Bloo.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
My good man, unlike my primitive uncultured Neanderthal companion here, I am a connoisseur of the finer things in life. So I can most certainly appreciate the intrinsic value of a true piece of high art such as this. But sir, I implore you, THREE HUNDRED? WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?

Strange vendor:
Take you for... okay, deal. Four hundred.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[scowls] RIP-OFF ARTIS...

Mac:
No, not again!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[while at a swap meet, Bloo has his eyes on a mongoose versus cobra statue] Mac, are you seeing this? It's perfect!

Mac:
[looks at the statue] Perfectly disgusting.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[to the vendor] Hey, how much for the mongoose-cobra-thingy?

Strange vendor:
Oh, that? That one's... free.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Free? Ha-ha! Yes! [he takes the statue and starts walking away]

Strange vendor:
[stopping Bloo] Da-da-da-da-da-ra. THREE hundred dollars.

Mac:
For that? But it's so gross!

Strange vendor:
Regardless, it is still three hundred.

Mac:
Ugh! Come on, Bloo.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
My good man, unlike my primitive uncultured Neanderthal companion here, I am a connoisseur of the finer things in life. So I can most certainly appreciate the intrinsic value of a true piece of high art such as this. But sir, I implore you, THREE HUNDRED? WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?

Strange vendor:
Take you for... okay, deal. Four hundred.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
[scowls] RIP-OFF ARTIS...

Mac:
No, not again!

[Bloo is spraying air freshener while Frankie and Mac are cleaning]

Mac:
Quit it, Bloo!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
What? I'm just trying to clean.

Mac:
Spraying air freshener isn't cleaning.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Is too! I'm cleaning the air. Cleaning and freshening.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
Well, go find some other place to clean and freshen, would ya?

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Fine, if that's how you feel about it. But don't come crying to me when your air gets all stale and filthy.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
[annoyed] I'll keep that in mind.

[a band of scribble drawings are doing all of the work for imaginary friends, especially Bloo]

Mac:
Enough already, all right? Let's just go play or something!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
Yeah, good idea! [snaps towards the scribbles] Go play with the boy for me.

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
[Mac wants to free the scribbles] Forget about it, Mac.

Mac:
No worries. It's the last thing on my mind.

[he looks at her, then turns and runs through the house]

Mac:
Freedom! Freedom!

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
[runs after Mac] Mac!

Mac:
Let 'em go! Let 'em go! Let 'em go!

Frances "Frankie" Foster:
Eduardo, was that you licking people's feet?

Eduardo:
Uh... Si. I love licking feet. [Starts licking Wilt's foot] Feet. I love the footy goodness.

Mr. Herriman:
Someone has let loose hounds to destroy me!

Eduardo:
Azul, you are not el perrito!

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo:
I most certainly am not a burrito!

Madame Foster:
Aw, you remember. You used to do it when I was a little girl.

Mr. Herriman:
You mean...

Mr. Herriman:
[starts singing]

Mr. Herriman:
Hippity hippity, hoppity hoppity / My tail is quite fluffy, my ears are quite floppity / I sing and I dance and you can't make me stoppity / Said funny bunny to sweet little girl.

Mr. Herriman:
Hoppity hoppity, hippity hippity / I'm cute and I'm cuddly and smart as a whippety / Watch and adore as I play and I skippity / Said funny bunny to sweet little girl.

Mr. Herriman:
Sprungly, springly, bouncily, trouncily / For allow me to declare, present, and announcily / That I am the head of the Fun Bunny Councily / Said funny bunny to sweet little girl.

Mr. Herriman:
Bouncily, trouncily, sprungily, springily / There's no end to the fun 'til you have a wingily / The razzamatazz and the ring-a-ding-dingily / Said funny bunny to sweet little girl.

Mr. Herriman:
Hippity hippity, hoppity hoppity / So shall I tell you right now, my sweet little poppity? / Out all of my friends, I never ever would droppity / On the list, my dear lass, you are at the toppity / Said funny bunny to sweet little girl.

[Madame Foster giggles to herself]