Thor: Ragnarok

[First lines]

[Thor is thrown into Muspelheim in chains]

Thor:
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oh, no." "Thor's in a cage. "How did this happen?" Well, sometimes you have to get captured just to get a straight answer out of something. It's a long story, basically...I'm a bit of a hero. See, I've spent some time on Earth, fought some robots, saved the planet a couple of times. Then I went searching through the cosmos for some magic colorful Infinity Stone things...didn't find any. That's when I came across a path of death, and destruction. Which led me all the way here into this cage...where I met you. [camera shows a skeleton. Its jaw ever so conveniently falls off] How much longer do you think we'll be in here?

[Thor, chained up, falls and briefly hangs to see Surtur sitting in his throne]

Surtur:
Thor, son of Odin.

Thor:
Surtur, son of ... a b*tch! You're still alive? I thought my father killed you, like....half a billion years ago.

Surtur:
I cannot die. Not until I fulfill my destiny, and lay waste to your home.

Thor:
You know, it's funny you should mention that. Because I've been having these terrible dreams of late! Asgard up in flames. Falling to ruins. And you, Surtur, are the center of all of them.

Surtur:
Then you have seen Ragnarök: The fall of Asgard, the great prophecy–

Thor:
[rotating away from Surtur's direction] Whoop! Hang on! Hang on! I'll be... back around shortly. You know, I really feel like we were connecting there. [Thor has now rotated to face Surtur] Okay, so, Ragnarök. Tell me about that. Walk me through it.

Surtur:
My time has come. When my crown is reunited with the Eternal Flame, I shall be restored to my full might! I will tower over the mountains, and bury my sword deep in Asgard!

Thor:
[rotating away from Surtur's direction again] Hang on! Give it a second... I swear, I'm not even moving, it's just doing this on its own! I'm really sorry. [Thor has again rotated to face Surtur] Okay, so let me get this straight. You're going to put your crown into the Eternal Flame, and you'll suddenly grow big as a house?

Surtur:
[suddenly SHOUTING!] A MOUNTAIN!!!

Thor:
The Eternal Flame that Odin keeps locked away in Asgard?

Surtur:
Odin is not on Asgard. And your absence has left the throne defenseless.

Thor:
Okay, so... where is this crown?

Surtur:
[taps the structure on his head] This is my crown. The source of my power!...

Thor:
Oh, that's a crown? I thought it was a big eyebrow.

Surtur:
[annoyed] It's a crown!

Thor:
Anyway, it sounds like all I have to do to stop Ragnarök is rip that thing off your head.

Surtur:
[laughs] But Ragnarök has already begun! You cannot stop it! I am Asgard's doom, and so are you! All will suffer! All. Will. BURN.

Thor:
Oh, that's intense. You know to be honest, seeing you grow really big and set fire to a planet would be quite the spectacle. But it looks like, I'm gonna have to choose "Option B", where I bust out of these chains, knock that tiara off your head, and stash you away in Asgard's vault. [he has a smug little smirk at the end of this mini-tirade]

Surtur:
You cannot stop Ragnarök. Why fight it?

Thor:
Because. That's what heroes do! [Thor motions for his hammer Mjolnir....however, nothing happens] Wait, sorry...I didn't time that right. And. Now!

[Mjolnir flies in. Thor grabs the hammer and battles Surtur as the "Immigrant Song" theme by Led Zeppelin plays]

Surtur:
[chuckling evilly] You have made a grave mistake, Odinson!

Thor:
Oh, I make grave mistakes all the time. [sees an army of Surtur's minions charging towards him] Everything seems to work out.

[Thor arrives at the Asgardian Palace to see a giant statue of Loki and the crowd watching a play re-enactment of Loki's death]

Loki Actor:
Oh, Brother. This is it. I take my leave.

Thor Actor:
You fool, you didn't listen!

Loki Actor:
I'm sorry.

Thor Actor:
Lady Sif, get help!

Sif Actress:
[runs] Somebody, help!

Loki Actor:
Sorry for all I've done.

Thor Actor:
Shh. It's all right. Hold on.

Loki Actor:
I'm sorry I tried to rule Earth.

Thor Actor:
[sobbing] They'd be lucky to have you!

Loki Actor:
I'm sorry about that thing with the Tesseract. I just couldn't help myself.

Thor Actor:
I know.

Loki Actor:
I'm a trickster!

Thor Actor:
[smiles proudly] Yes, so mischievous!

Loki Actor:
Sorry about that time I turned you into a frog.

Thor Actor:
It was a wonderful joke.

"Odin":
[Loki is disguised as Odin, watching the play with immense glee] 'Twas indeed hilarious.

Thor Actor:
You are the savior of Asgard.

Loki Actor:
Tell my story.

Thor Actor:
I will.

Loki Actor:
Build a statue for me.

Thor Actor:
We will build a big statue for you.

Loki Actor:
With my helmet on, with the big bendy horns.

Thor Actor:
[sobbing] I will tell Father what you did here today.

"Odin":
[whispering] I didn't do it for him.

Loki Actor:
I didn't do it...for him.

[Loki Actor "dies" as the choir sings chorus]

Thor Actor:
[as hammy as humanly possible...for an Asgardian, anyway] NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Odin Actor:
And so, Loki died of his wounds, giving his life for ours. He fought back those disgusting elves, he brought peace to the realm. [a blue boy appears on stage] Loki, my boy. 'Twas many moons ago I found you on that frostbitten battlefield. On that day, I did not yet see in you, Asgard's savior. No. You were merely a little blue baby icicle...that melted this old fool's heart.

Thor:
[throws Mjolnir as far as he can, then stand behind Loki disguised as Odin with a hand on his neck] You know that nothing will stop Mjolnir as it returns to my hand. Not even your face!

Loki:
[as Odin; stammers] You've gone quite mad, you...you'll be executed for this!

Thor:
Then I'll see you on the other side, brother!

Loki:
[as Mjolnir streaks towards him, "Odin" reveals himself as a disguised Loki] ALRIGHT! I yield!

[Thor shoves Loki aside just in time, catching the hammer in his hand. The crowd gasps in shock and Loki smiles nervously as Thor glowers]

Skurge:
[out of breath, shoving through the crowd] Behold! Thor...Odinsson-

Loki:
[snaps his fingers] No, no! [turns and glares at Skurge] You had one job. Just the one!

Thor:
So Earth has...wizards now, huh? [accidentally destroys a relic and tries to fix it]

Stephen Strange:
I prefer the term "Master of the Mystic Arts". You can leave that be now.

Thor:
All right, wizard. Who are you and why should I care?

Strange:
My name is Dr. Stephen Strange, and I have some questions for you. Take a seat.

[Thor and Strange are now sitting in high-backed chairs]

Strange:
Tea?

Thor:
I don't drink tea.

Strange:
What do you drink?

Thor:
Not tea.

[Thor has a stein of beer in his hand]

Strange:
So, I keep a watch list of individuals and beings from other realms that may be a threat to this world. Your adopted brother, Loki, is one of these beings.

Thor:
He's a worthy inclusion.

Strange:
[while reversing time to refill the beer] Then why bring him here?

Thor:
We're looking for my father.

Strange:
So, if I told you where Odin was, all parties concerned would promptly return to Asgard?

Thor:
Promptly.

Strange:
Great. Then I'll help you.

Thor:
If you knew where he was, why didn't you call me?

Strange:
I have to tell you, he was adamant that he didn’t want to be disturbed. Your father said he had chosen to remain in exile. And you don't have a phone.

Thor:
No, I don't have a phone, but you could have sent an electronic letter. It's called an email.

Strange:
Yeah. Do you have a computer?

Thor:
No. What for?

Strange:
[sarcastic] Uh-huh.

Thor:
Anyway, my father is no longer in exile. So if you could tell me where he is, I can take him home.

Strange:
Gladly. He's in Norway. [they go to a bookshelf and Strange flips through mystic books] I'm just seeing whether this incantation requires any Asgardian modifications. Nope. We don't need that.

Thor:
[Strange is using his powers, making him spill his beer] Will you stop doing that?

Strange:
I need just one strand of your hair.

Thor:
Let me explain something. My hair is not to be meddled with. [Strange rips out one of his hairs] Agh!

[Strange teleports himself and Thor back to the main hallway, Thor tumbles down the stairs]

Thor:
We could have just walked.

Strange:
[opening a portal to Norway] He's waiting for you.

Thor:
All right.

Strange:
Don't forget your umbrella.

Thor:
Yes, of course. [motions his hand for the umbrella, seemingly destroying the New York Sanctum. Strange looks unamused and rolls his eyes] ... Sorry. [the umbrella finally comes and he removes some shattered glass from it] There we go, I suppose I'll need my brother back.

Strange:
Hmm? Oh, yeah. Right.

[Strange opens a portal and Loki falls back through]

Loki:
I have been falling for thirty minutes!!!

Strange:
You can handle him from here.

Thor:
Right. Thank you very much for your help.

Strange:
Good luck.

Loki:
"Handle me"? Who are you? [pulls out his blades]

Thor:
Loki...

Loki:
You think you're some kind of sorcerer?! Don't think for one minute, you second-rate –

Strange:
Alright. Buh-bye! [sends Thor and Loki through a portal]

[Hela emerges from a portal, having been freed by Odin's passing]

Hela:
So he's gone. That's a shame, I would have liked to have seen that.

Thor:
You must be Hela. I'm Thor, son of Odin.

Hela:
[disbelieving] Really? You don't look like him!

Loki:
[clearly uneasy] Perhaps we can come to an arrangement?

Hela:
[snarling] You sound like him. Kneel.

Loki:
[Affronted] Beg your pardon?

[Hela produces a sword from her arm]

Hela:
Kneel, before your Queen.

Thor:
Oho, I don't think so. [Thor hurls Mjolnir at her, only for Hela to catch it in one hand] It's not possible!

Hela:
[smiling cruelly] Darling, you have no idea what's possible!

[Hela easily crushes Mjolnir's head]

Hela:
It's come to my attention that you don't know who I am. I am Hela, Odin's firstborn, commander of the legions of Asgard, the rightful heir to the throne and the Goddess of Death. My father is dead, as are the princes. [raises her hand reassuringly] You're welcome. We were once the seat of absolute power in the cosmos. Our supremacy was unchallenged. Yet Odin stopped at the Nine Realms. Our destiny is to rule over all others. And I am here to restore that power. Kneel before me and rise into the ranks of my great conquest.

Hogun:
Whoever you are, whatever you've done, surrender now! Or we will show you no mercy.

Hela:
[sounding incredibly put out] Whoever I am? Did you listen to a word I said?

Grandmaster:
What happened to my manners? I haven't properly introduced myself. Come on. Follow me. My name is Grandmaster. I preside over a little harlequinade called the Contest of Champions. People come from far and wide to unwillingly participate in it. And you, my friend, might just be part of the new cast. What do you say to that?

Thor:
We're not friends, and I don't give a sh*t about your games!

[Thor turns on the Quinjet's computer and places his hand on the handprint scanner]

Quinjet Computer:
Voice activation required.

Thor:
Thor.

Quinjet Computer:
Access denied.

Thor:
Thor, son of Odin.

Quinjet Computer:
Access denied.

[pause]

Thor:
Strongest Avenger.

Quinjet Computer:
Access denied.

Thor:
Ugh! Damn you, Stark. Point Break.

Quinjet Computer:
Welcome, Point Break.

Grandmaster:
Time works real different around these parts. On any other world, I'd be, like, millions of years old, but here on Sakaar. ...In any case, you know this, ah, this, ah... you call yourself the "Lord of Thunder"?

Thor:
God of Thunder. [whispering to Loki] Tell him.

Loki:
... I've never met this man in my life.

Thor:
He's my brother!

Loki:
Adopted.

Grandmaster:
Is he any kind of a fighter?

Thor:
Heh...heh. You take this thing outta my neck and I'll show ya!

Grandmaster:
[absolutely gleefully] Now, listen to that, he's threat-threatening me! Hey, Sparkles! Here's the deal: You want to get back to Ass-place, Ass-berg...

Thor:
As–GARD!

Grandmaster:
... Any contender who defeats my champion... their freedom they shall win.

Thor:
[lets loose a "so-done-with-this-crap" eye roll] FINE! Then point me in the direction of whoever's ass I have to kick!

Grandmaster:
That's what I call...a contender! That direction would be, would be this way, Lord.

[Grandmaster waves his fingers and Thor's chair starts to move]

Thor:
[yelps] Loki!

Thor:
How did you end up here?

Korg:
Well, I tried to start a revolution, but didn't print enough pamphlets so hardly anyone turned up. Except for my mum and her boyfriend, who I hate. As punishment, I was forced to be in here and become a gladiator. Bit of a promotional disaster that one, but I'm actually organizing another revolution. I don't know if you'd be interested in something like that. Do you reckon you'd be interested?

[after knocking down the Hulk, Thor approaches him]

Thor:
[copying Black Widow] Hey, big guy. Sun's getting real low. I don't wanna hurt you anymore...there –

[the Hulk grabs Thor and flattens him with repeated smashes into the floor]

Loki:
[cheers] YES! That's how it feels! [to the Grandmaster] I'm just a huge fan of the sport.

Thor:
Fine. Stay here. Stupid place. It's hideous, by the way. The red, the white. Just pick a color! Ridiculous.

Hulk:
Smash you.

Thor:
You didn't smash anything, I won that fight!

Hulk:
I smashed you!

Thor:
Yeah, sure, sure.

Hulk:
Baby arms.

Thor:
What?

Hulk:
BABY ARMS! [throws a fruit he was eating at Thor, who dodges]

Loki:
[seeing Valkyrie's tattoo] You're a Valkyrie? I thought the Valkyrie all died gruesome deaths?

Valkyrie:
Chose your next words wisely.

Loki:
I'm terribly sorry, must be a very painful memory.

Valkyrie:
Look. I've spent years, in a haze, trying to forget my past. Sakaar seemed like the best place to drink, and forget and to die, one day.

Thor:
Well, I was thinking that you drink too much and that was probably gonna kill you.

Valkyrie:
I don't plan to stop drinking...but I don't wanna forget. I can't turn away anymore. So, if I'm gonna die, well...it may as well be driving my sword through the heart of that murderous hag.

Thor:
Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were gonna fight side-by-side forever, but at the end of the day, you're you and I'm me. I don't know, maybe there's still some good in you. But let's be honest: our paths diverged a long time ago.

Loki:
[sighs] Yeah. It's probably for the best that we never see each other again.

Thor:
Its what you always wanted. [He claps Loki on the shoulder. Suddenly, he has an idea.] Hey, let's do "Get Help".

Loki:
[slightly confuzzled] What?

Thor:
"Get Help".

Loki:
[seeing what Thor is getting at] No.

Thor:
C'mon, you love it.

Loki:
I hate it.

Thor:
It's great. It works every time.

Loki:
It's humiliating.

Thor:
You got a better plan?

Loki:
No.

Thor:
We're doin' it.

Loki:
[thoroughly exasperated] We are not doing "Get Help".

[Thor gives Loki a devilish smirk. Flash-cut to the elevator opening to a seemingly unconscious Loki with one arm slung over a distressed Thor's shoulder.]

Thor:
GET HELP! Please! My brother's dying! Get help! Help him! [He chucks Loki at the guards, knocking them unconscious.] Ahh, classic!

Loki:
[stands up looking 100% done with this shenaniganery] Still hate it! It's humiliating!

Thor:
Well, not for me, it's not!

Thor:
[aboard the Commodore] Where are the weapons on this thing?!

Valkyrie:
THERE AREN'T ANY! IT'S A LEISURE VESSEL!

Thor:
Say what?!

Valkyrie:
THE GRANDMASTER USES IT FOR HIS GOOD TIMES! ORGIES AND STUFF!

Bruce Banner:
DID SHE JUST SAY THE GRANDMASTER USES IT FOR ORGIES?!

Thor:
[to Banner] Yeah. Better not touch anything.

[Hela approaches to Thor, who is sitting in Odin's throne]

Thor:
Sister.

Hela:
[smiling evilly] You're still alive.

Thor:
I love what you've done with the place. Redecorating, I see.

Hela:
It seems our father's solution to every problem was to cover it up.

Thor:
Or to cast it out. [Hela's mouth twists in fury] He told you you were worthy. He said the same thing to me.

Hela:
You see, you never knew him, not at his best. [nostalgic sighs] Odin and I drowned entire civilizations in blood and tears. Where do you think all this gold came from? [dismissive] And then one day he decided to become a benevolent king. To foster peace, to protect life. [venomously] To have you.

Thor:
I understand why you're angry. And you are my sister, and technically have a claim to the throne. And believe me, I would love for someone else to rule. But it can't be you. You're just the worst.

Hela:
Okay. Get up. You're in my seat. [puts on her headdress]

Thor:
[stands up] You know, Father once told me that a wise king never seeks out war.

Hela:
But must always be ready for it!

[The two charge and fight]

Odin:
Even when you had two eyes, you'd see only half the picture.

Thor:
She's too strong. Without my hammer, I can't.

Odin:
Are you Thor, the God of Hammers? That hammer was to help you control your power, to focus it. It was never your source of strength.

Thor:
It's too late. She's already taken Asgard.

Odin:
Asgard is not a place. Never was. This could be Asgard. Asgard is where our people stand. Even now, right now, those people need your help.

Thor:
I'm not as strong as you.

Odin:
No...you're stronger.

Thor:
I think we should disband the Revengers.

Loki:
Hit her with a lightning blast.

Thor:
I just hit her with the biggest lightning blast in the history of lightning! It did nothing!

Valkyrie:
We just need to hold her off until everyone's on board.

Thor:
[looking at the Asgardians boarding the Statesman] It won't end there. The longer Hela's on Asgard, the more powerful she grows. She'll hunt us down. We need to stop her here and now.

Valkyrie:
So what do we do?

Loki:
I'm not doin' "Get Help".

[Hela walks and approaches with her swords]

Thor:
[comes to a realization] Asgard's not a place, it's a people. Loki, this was never about stopping Ragnarök, this was about causing Ragnarök. Surtur's crown; the vault. It's the only way.

Loki:
[seeing what Thor is getting at] Bold move, Brother. Even for me. [runs off]

Thor:
Shall we?

Valkyrie:
After you.

Thor:
Hela! Enough! You want Asgard? It's yours.

Hela:
Whatever game you're playing, it won't work. You can't defeat me.

Thor:
Oh, I know...(points behind himself) but he can.

(Surtur, resurrected by Loki, explodes out of the palace in his true form, wielding his flaming sword)

Hela:
No!

Thor:
[the Hulk takes on Surtur] Hulk, stop, you moron!

[Sutur picks Hulk up his eyebrow and flicks Hulk onto the Bifrost]

Hulk:
[growls and starts getting back up]

Thor" Hulk, stop! Just for once in your life:
Don't. Smash.

Hulk:
[whiny] Big monster!

Valkyrie:
Let's go!

Hulk:
[annoyed, he looks at Surtur, then turns back to Thor and Valkyrie] Fine. [goes with Thor and Valkyrie, leaving Surtur behind]

Thor:
Miek, where are you from?

Korg:
Oh, Miek's dead. Yeah, no. I accidentally stomped on the bridge, I've just felt so guilty, I've been carrying him around all day. [Miek then moves] Oh, Miek! You're alive. He's alive, guys. What was your question again, bro?

Thor:
... Earth it is.

Loki:
Do you really think it's a good idea to go back to Earth?

Thor:
Yes, of course. People on Earth love me, I'm very popular.

Loki:
Let me rephrase that, do you really think it's a good idea to bring me back to Earth?

Thor:
Probably not, to be honest. I wouldn't worry, brother. I feel like everything's gonna work out fine.

[Suddenly, Sanctuary II, a ship owned by Thanos, hovers over the Statesman.]

Thor

Thor (Marvel Comics)

Thor (film)

Thor:
The Dark World

[Thor, strapped to the chair, suddenly finds himself slowly moving forward. After a beat...the walls light up. He struggles against his restraints.]

Soothing Voice:
Fear not, for you are found. You are home... and there is no going back. No one leaves this place. But what is this place? The answer in Sakaar. [The tunnel walls show images of Sakaar's place in the Cosmos.] Surrounded by cosmic gateways, Sakaar lives on the edge of the known and unknown. [Images of the wormholes that cover Sakaar's atmosphere.] It is the collection point for all lost and unloved things. Like you. But here on Sakaar, you are significant. You are valuable. Here, you are loved, and no one loves you more than the Grandmaster. Grandmaster. [Grandmaster, in silhouette, arrives on Sakaar.] He is the original. The first lost, and the first found. The creator of Sakaar and the father of the Contest of Champions. [Aliens in the arena battle to the death.] Where once you were nothing, now you are something. You are the property of the Grandmaster. Congratulations! You will meet the Grandmaster in five seconds. [Images around the tunnel begin speeding up. Chaos, violence, and confusion mixed in with Grandmaster's face. Thor, already bewildered, looks on the verge of panic.] Prepare yourself. Prepare yourself. You are now meeting... The Grandmaster!

Thor:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Hulk:
Thor sad.

Thor:
[Exasperated] Shut up.

Hulk:
[Shoves Thor] THOR SAD!

Thor:
I'm not sad, you idiot. I'm pissed off! [Hulk groans] Angry. I lost my father! [Kicks a metal cylinder] I lost my hammer.

Hulk:
Whining and crying. Cry like baby—

Thor:
[Interrupting Hulk] You're not even listening! [Kicks something else at Hulk]

Hulk:
Don't kick stuff! [Throws bowl at Thor]

Thor:
You're being a really bad friend!

Hulk:
YOU BAD FRIEND!!

Thor:
You know what we call you?

Hulk:
No!

Thor:
[As Hulk is saying "no"] We call you the stupid Avenger.

Hulk:
YOU TINY AVENGER!!! [Throws a shield at Thor which embeds itself into the wall]

Thor:
What, are you crazy?!

Hulk:
[Holding up a mace] Yes!

Thor:
You know what? Earth does hate you.

Thor:
Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were going to fight side-by-side forever, but at the end of the day, you're you and I'm me. I don't know, maybe there's still some good in you. But let's be honest: our paths diverged a long time ago.

Loki:
[Sighs] Yeah. It's probably for the best that we never see each other again.

Thor:
Its what you always wanted. [He claps Loki on the shoulder.

Loki:
[Slightly confuzzled] What?

Thor:
"Get Help".

Loki:
[Seeing what Thor is getting at] No.

Thor:
Come on, you love it.

Loki:
I hate it!

Thor:
It's great! It works every time.

Loki:
It's humiliating!

Thor:
You got a better plan?

Loki:
No.

Thor:
We're doing it.

Loki:
[Thoroughly exasperated] We are not doing "Get Help"!

[Thor gives Loki a devilish smirk. Flash-cut to the elevator opening to a seemingly unconscious Loki with one arm slung over a distressed Thor's shoulder.]

Thor:
GET HELP! Please! My brother's dying! Get help! Help him! [He chucks Loki at the guards, knocking them unconscious.] Ahh, classic!

Loki:
[Stands up looking 100% done with this shenaniganery] Still hate it! It's humiliating!

Thor:
Well, not for me, it's not!

Thor:
Heimdall, I know you can see me. I need you to help me see.

[Heimdall hears Thor's pleas and takes him to Asgard where he sees the people fleeing from Hela.]

Heimdall:
I see you, but you're far away.

Thor:
What's going on?

Heimdall:
Come see for yourself.

[He takes Thor to a balcony where Hela's ravagers are laying waste to Asgard.]

Heimdall:
I'm providing refuge in a place built by our ancestors. But if the Garrison falls, our only escape is Bifrost.

Thor:
You're talking about evacuating Asgard.

[Thor, Heimdall and the residents throw their backs back to hide from the Ravagers. Once they're gone, he leads the citizens to the Garrison.]

Heimdall:
Hela is ravenous. She draws her powers from Asgard. If I let her leave, she'll consume 9 realms and the Cosmos. We need you.

Thor:
I'm working on it. I don't know where I'm at.

Heimdall:
You're on a planet surrounded by doorways. Go through one.

Thor:
Which one?!

Heimdall:
The big one.

[Thor loses contact with Heimdall as he fights off the Ravagers.]

[Valkyrie brings Thor and Bruce to her place where she's holding Loki]

Loki:
Surprise.

[Thor throws an empty can at Loki]

Loki:
Ow!

Thor:
Just making sure.

Korg:
Hey, man, I'm Korg. We're gonna get out of here on that big spaceship. Wanna come?

Loki:
Well, it seems that you are in dire need of leadership.

Korg:
Thank you!

Thor:
[While electrocuting Loki] Dear brother, you're becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me, round and round in circles we go. See, Loki, life is about, it's about growth. It's about change. But you seem to just want to stay the same. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you'll always be the God of Mischief, but you could be more.

Thor:
What would you like me to say, hmm? You faked your own death. You stole the throne, stripped Odin of his power, stranded him on Earth to die, releasing the Goddess of Death. Have I said enough, or would you like me to go farther than the past two days?

Thor:
There was one time when we were children, he... he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So I went to pick up the snake to admire it, and he transformed back into himself and he was like, "BLERGH, IT'S ME!" And he stabbed me. We were eight....at the time. [Loki smiles fondly at the memory]

Thor:
[Sees Valkyrie's tattoo] My God, you're a Valkyrie! You know, I always wanted to be a Valkyrie when I was younger, until I found out that you were all... women. There's nothing wrong with women, of course. I love women, sometimes a little too much. Not even in a creepy way, just more of a respectful appreciation. I think it's great that there is an elite force of women warriors. [Valkyrie looks at him] It's about time. [Gives her a thumbs-up]

Thor:
She's too strong. Without my hammer, I can't.

Thor:
[As his gladiator arena opponent is revealed to be the Hulk] YEEEEES! We know each other! He's a friend from work!

Thor:
[To Hulk] So much has happened, since I last saw you! I lost my hammer... like, yesterday. So that's still pretty fresh.

Thor:
[Guessing a password to the Quinjet's computer] Ugh. Damn you, Stark. Point Break.

Loki:
It hurts, doesn't it? Being lied to. Being told you're one thing and then learning it's all a fiction. [Thor throws an object at Loki, revealing him to be an illusion] You didn't think I'd really come and see you, did you? This place is disgusting. Does this mean you don't want my help? Look, I couldn't jeopardize my position with the Grandmaster, it took me time to win his trust. He's a lunatic, but he can be amenable. What I'm telling you is, you could join me at the Grandmaster's side. Perhaps, in time, an accident befalls the Grandmaster, and then... [Makes a gesture of takeover]

Loki:
[Bringing back Surtur] With the Eternal Flame, you are reborn.

Loki:
Your savior is here!

Loki:
[Upon seeing Hulk for the first time since New York] I have to get off this planet...

Loki:
[Thor meets Loki, who is tied up] Surprise. [Thor throws something at him, to see if he's a mirage] Ow!

Loki:
[After falling though a portal and landing on the floor of Dr. Strange's Sanctum] I have been falling...FOR 30 MINUTES!

Hela:
I am Hela, Odin's firstborn, commander of the legions of Asgard, the rightful heir to the throne and the Goddess of Death. My father is dead. As are the princes. You're welcome.

Hela:
[Duelling to the death with Thor] To be honest, I expected more! [...] Here's the difference between us. I'm Odin's firstborn, the rightful heir, the saviour of Asgard... and you're nothing!

Hela:
[Beating Thor in their duel] So simple, even a blind man could see it! [She slashes her sword across Thor's face, cutting out his right eye, then winces] Ooh. Now you remind me of Dad.

Hela:
Does no-one remember me? [Awaits an answer] Has no-one been taught our history? Look at these lies. Goblets and garden parties? Peace treaties? Odin... proud to have it... ashamed of how he got it. We were unstoppable. I was his weapon in the conquest that built Asgard's empire. One by one, the realms became ours. But then, simply because my ambition outgrew his... he banished me. Caged me. Locked me away like an animal. Before that, Asgard's warriors were honored, their bodies buried as heroes beneath this very place.

Hela:
You see, I'm not a queen, or a monster... I'm the Goddess of Death. Tell me, Brother: What were you the God of, again?

Valkyrie:
When it grew beyond Odin's control, she massacred everyone in the palace and tried to seize the throne. When she tried to escape her banishment, he sent the Valkyrie in to fight her back. I only survived because... [Trails off, brooding] Look, I already faced her once back when I believed in the throne, and it cost me everything. That's what's wrong with Asgard. The throne, the secrets, the whole golden sham.

Valkyrie:
And we need one with cup holders, 'cause we're going to die. SO, DRINKS!

Bruce Banner / Hulk:
I just get so angry all the time. Hulk always... always angry.

Bruce Banner / Hulk:
In the past, I always felt like Hulk and I each had a hand on the wheel. But this time it's like he had the keys to the car and I was locked in the trunk!

Bruce Banner / Hulk:
Okay. How many PhDs does Hulk have? Zero! How many PhDs does Banner have? Seven!

Odin:
[Last words] Remember this place, Home.

Korg:
The damage is not too bad. As long as the foundations are still strong, we can rebuild this place. It will become a haven for all peoples and aliens of the universe. [Its core pierced by Surtur's giant flaming sword, Asgard explodes.] Oof. Now those foundations are gone. Sorry.