Dogma1999

[Metatron's fiery entrance in Bethany's room]

Metatron:
Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true...

[Bethany sprays Metatron with a fire extinguisher; Metatron coughs repeatedly and emerges from the smoke in human form as Bethany rushes to her bed and grabs a baseball bat]

Metatron:
Ah, Sweet Jesus! Did you have to use the whole can?!

Bethany:
Who the f*** are you and what the f*** are you doing in my room?!

Metatron:
I'm the one that's soaked and she's the one that's surly, that's rich. Stupid... f***ing Christ...

Bethany:
Get the f*** out of here! Now!

Metatron:
Or you'll do what, exactly? Hit me with that...fffffish?

[Bethany realizes the baseball bat she's holding is now a large fish, and drops it in shock]

Metatron:
Now, just sit down on the bed and shut up. Jesus wept... Look at my suit!

Bethany:
Look, just take whatever you want, but don't kill or rape me.

Metatron:
Oh, give over, will you? I couldn't rape you if I wanted to; Angels are ill-equipped! [Drops his pants to show blank skin where his genitals should be] See? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. Now make yourself useful and gimme that towel, will you? [Bethany tosses it to him and he starts wiping his clothes dry] Honestly, you bottom feeders and your arrogance, you think everybody's just trying to get in your knickers.

Bethany:
What are you?

Metatron:
I'm pissed off, is what I am! Do you go around drenching everybody that comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single.