Dumb and Dumber To2014

Harry:
This is stupid Lloyd, I'm not gonna steal an old lady's hearing aid!

Lloyd:
Relax we're just looking for a backup pair, there's gotta be some around here.

[Lloyd and Harry search Mrs. Snergle's room for a hearing aid.]

Mrs. Snergle:
Mikey?

Lloyd:
[pretending to be Mrs. Snergle's grandson] Yeah, Gran. It's Mikey.

Mrs. Snergle:
Oh, thank God you're here. I've got the diamonds.

Harry:
[loudly] Did she say diamonds?

[Lloyd frantically shushes Harry and dashes to Mrs. Snergle's bed.]

Lloyd:
Go ahead, Granny. Mikey's listening.

Mrs. Snergle:
I want you to take all the diamonds with you when you go. I've been hiding them from those thieving lawyers.

Lloyd:
That's good. Granny did a good thing! So, where are the rocks?

Mrs. Snergle:
[pointing down] They're underneath me.

Lloyd:
[about to look under bed] You mean, under the bed?

Mrs. Snergle:
No, under the blanket.

Lloyd:
Oh.

[Lloyd puts his arm under blanket and searches; Mrs. Snergles starts moaning.]

Lloyd:
[chuckling] I'm not finding anything.

Mrs. Snergle:
Go up more.

[Lloyd reaches his arm under blanket further towards Mrs. Snergle.]

Lloyd:
Up here?

Mrs. Snergle:
Keep going.

[Lloyd reaches his arm up even further, unaware he has just stuck his hand up Mrs. Snergle's vagina]

Lloyd:
Did you hide them inside this turkey?

Mrs. Snergle:
Yeah, right. [inhales seductively]

Lloyd:
[wiggling his arm] Wait. There's no diamonds here!

Mrs. Snergle:
[sternly] And you're not my grandson!

Lloyd:
[trying to pull out his arm] Harry, she's got me. She's really clamping down!

[Lloyd finally pulls his hand out from blanket, now covered in dust. Mrs. Snergles giggles mischievously.]

Harry:
[shuddering] Lloyd? I think that was her gran-gina!

Mrs. Snergle:
That's right! So you can cross that one off your bucket list!

[Lloyd blows dust off his hand. Some of it flies into his and Harry's faces and they cough.]