Kung Fu Panda 22011

Po:
Momma? Mom? Dad? Is that you? Mom! Dad!

Dad Panda:
Oh.. Hi! Hey-Hey.. Son, you are back.

Mom Panda:
Huh? Honey, what you doing here?

Po:
But I thought..

Mom Panda:
We replaced you, dear. with a lovely radish.

Po:
Radish?!

Dad Panda:
It's quite, polite, and frankly.. It does better Kung-Fu.

Po:
No.. No, no, no! Wait! Radish, radish, radish! Inner pea.. pea.. Inner peace. Inner peace, inner peace, inner peace... I'm.. Training.

Tigress:
The mast, is not the worthy opponent. I'm ready.

Po:
Okay.. So serious! I think I prefer the mast.

Tigress:
Apologies. I used to punch the iron wood trees by the fist in training. Now, I feel nothing.

Po:
That's severely cool!

Tigress:
Again!

Po:
[training with Tigress on the boat] So, um, this punching with ironwood trees? How long do you have to do that?

Tigress:
20 years.

Po:
Oh! 20... 20 years. Is there any... you know, a faster way, you know, until you'll, you know, don't feel anything?

Tigress:
No. Besides... [twists Po's fist, spins him in the air and lands on the floor; then smiles, watching Po's belly bounces to stop] I don't think hard style is... your thing.

Po:
Oh.

Tigress:
Po, why are you really out here?

Po:
I just found out that my dad... isn't really my dad.

Tigress:
Your dad, the goose? [Po nods] [deadpan] That must have been quite a shock. And this bothers you?

Po:
Are you kidding me? We're warriors, right? Nerves of steel, souls of Platinum. Like you. So hard core, you don't feel anything!

Tigress:
I was..

Mantis:
So, what you guys talking about?

Po:
Nothing.. Nothing!

Viper:
Po's having daddy's issues.

Mantis:
I'm so lucky, I don't have any problem with my dad. 'Cause my mother ate his head, before I was born. I don't know!

Viper:
Mantis, this isn't about you! Po, is the one freaking out.

Po:
I'm not freaking out.

Tigress:
Po..

Po:
I'm freaking in.

Tigress:
Po!

Po:
What?

Tigress:
We're here. Gongmen city!

Shen:
My father's throne. He used to let me play here, beside him. Promising with someday this throne would be mine. A little to the left.

Wolf Boss:
But it's so heavy, Master.

Shen:
Every thing, most be exactly how I visioned it. And I have visioned it a little to the left. Perfect! With the weapon, by my side.. A little bit more. With the weapon, by my side, all China will bow before me! We move out in 3 days, when the moon is full. And the tide is high. Well, Soothsayer, why don't you tell me my...?

Soothsayer:
Fortune?

Shen:
Future. I was going to say future. Look into your bowl and tell me what glory awaits.

Soothsayer:
[peers into her bowl] If you continue on your current path, you will find yourself... at the bottom of the stairs.

[Shen looks down and is annoyed to see he has indeed reached the bottom of the stairs leading to his throne.]

Soothsayer:
[still looking] I see... I see... [Shen comes closer] I see... pain.

[She plucks out one of his feathers.]

Shen:
OW!

Soothsayer:
And anger.

[She chews on the hem of his robe.]

Shen:
How dare you! This is the finest silk in the province!

Soothsayer:
Followed by denial.

Shen:
This is not fortune-telling! You're just saying what's happening right...!

Soothsayer:
Now? The most important time is now. But if you really want to see the future...

Shen:
What do you see?

Soothsayer:
A peacock.. Is defeated by a warrior, of black and white. Nothing has changed!

[after the Soothsayer predicts - again - that Shen will be defeated by a "warrior of black and white"]

Shen:
[laughs] That's impossible, and you know it!

Soothsayer:
It is not impossible, and he knows it.

Shen:
Who?

Wolf Boss:
[running in] Lord Shen! I saw a panda!

Shen:
A panda!? [knocks him to the ground, gripping him by the throat]

Wolf Boss:
[nervously] A Kung Fu warrior. He fought like a demon! Big and furry, soft and squishy... uh, kinda plush and cuddly...

Shen:
There are no more pandas.

Soothsayer:
Even with his poor eyesight, he can see the truth. Why is it that you cannot?

Shen:
[to the Wolf Boss, angrily] Find this panda, and bring him to me! (pushes him away)

Wolf Boss:
Yes, sir! [hurries away downstairs]

Shen:
[chuckles] So, one panda lives. That does not make you right!

Soothsayer:
You're right. Being right makes me right.

Shen:
Then I will kill him, and make you wrong! [turns and sees her chewing the hem of his robe again] WILL YOU STOP THAT?!