My Cousin Vinny1992

Vinny:
Hey, Vincent LaGuardia Gambini--

Lisa:
His name's J.T.

Vinny:
J.T., I believe you and Lisa played a game of pool for two hundred dollars, which she won; I'm here to collect.

J.T.:
How 'bout if I just kick your ass?

Vinny:
Oh, a counteroffer. That's what we lawyers, I'm a lawyer, call that a counteroffer. Let me see, this is a tough decision you're givin’ me here. Get my ass kicked or collect two hundred dollars? Hmm, let me think. I could use a good ass kickin’, I'll be very honest with you. Nah, I think I'll just go with the two hundred.

[The people in the room laugh]

J.T.:
Over my dead body.

Vinny:
You like to renegotiate as you go along, huh? Okay then, here's my counteroffer: do I have to kill you? What if I was just to kick the ever-lovin’ sh*t outta ya?

J.T.:
In your dreams.

Vinny:
Oh, no, no, no, in reality. If I was to kick the sh*t outta ya, do I get the money?

J.T.:
(contemplates this) If you kick the sh*t outta me...

Vinny:
Yeah.

J.T.:
...then you get the money.

[Some people weakly laugh. Vinny looks at a guy who's in a neck brace.]

Vinny:
What happened? Rear-ended?

Neck Brace:
No, I fell.

Vinny:
Oh. Okay, let’s see if we agree on the terms. The choice now is: I get my ass kicked, or, option B: I kick your ass, and collect the 200. I'm goin’ wit option B, (takes his coat off) kickin’ your ass and collectin' two-hundred dollars.

J.T.:
Are we gon’ fight now?

Vinny:
Yeah, first let me see the money.

J.T.:
I have the money.

Vinny:
All right, show it to me.

J.T.:
I can get it.

Vinny:
You can get it? All right, get it. Then we'll fight.