Private Parts1997

Howard:
Hi, everybody. My name is Gene Sternburn, and welcome to Match Game. We have a lot of excitement in the air today because we have some great panelists.

...

Howard:
Let's play our game now, OK? Shall we? And what we're gonna do is ask you to fill in the blank, OK? Now, I want you to listen carefully. Our first clue up is...blank willow. Blank willow. [Music Plays] Let's go over to Miss Brett Somers right now. Now, Brett, what did you have for us? Blank willow.

Robin; The only thing on my mind, Gene, was p*ssy.

Howard:
Uh-oh. P*ssy. Hey, all right. Hey, that's kind of wild. P*ssy willow, that's what I would have said. All right, let's go over to Dick Nixon, former president of the United States. What did you have? Blank willow.

Fred:
In any language, p*ssy.

Howard:
All right! Now let's go to our newest member of the panel, Mr. Jackie "Jokeman" Martling. Blank willow.

Jackie:
Well, Gene, I didn't write it too neat, so I have a sloppy p*ssy.

Howard:
Sloppy p*ssy! We had a sloppy and a fuzzy p*ssy and a very big one.

Fred:
Are we talking about Brett again?

Howard:
All right, now, Let's keep going. Now it's gonna get a little rougher, OK? Everybody ready? Blank a-doodle-doo. Blank a-doodle-doo. [Music Plays] Blank a-doodle-doo. Think about that while the celebrities are writing. Here we are. Let's go over to our Dick Nixon, our own ex-president. What do you got there, Dick?

Fred:
Well, it takes a Dick to know a cock, and that's what I wrote.

Howard:
Cock-a-doodle-doo. Now, that's what I would have said. That seemed like the obvious answer. OK, let's go to our own Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling. Jackie The Jokeman?

Jackie:
Gene, I have cock, and I wrote it big. I have a big cock.

Howard:
Uh, I don't think you can say "big cock" on the radio. I think that's a no-no.

Robin:
But I just said p*ssy.

Jackie:
Yeah, she just said p*ssy.

Howard:
Yes, p*ssy is OK. It's the way he says it. "Big cock" coming out of your mouth sounds awfully dirty.

Jackie:
So I can't say "big cock," but you can say "big cock coming out of my mouth"?

Howard:
That's correct.

Jackie:
That sucks.

Fred:
Did you just say, "big cock coming out of your mouth sucks"?

Howard:
All right, enough of this nonsense. We gotta move to Miss Brett Somers.

Robin:
Just like the boys, Gene, I've got cock.

Howard:
There it is, cock-a-doo...do me a favor and hold that up so I can see your cock.

Jackie:
Aw, Gene, don't have...

Howard:
All right, there it is. Cock, cock, cock. I must tell you, though, we have to end this fun right now.