Shrek2001

[Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field heading away from Duloc. Shrek is munching on an onion.]

Donkey:
Okay, let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back your swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?

Shrek:
Y’know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.

Donkey:
I don't get it, Shrek. Why didn’t you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Y'know, throttle him! Lay siege to his fortress! Grind his bones to make your bread! The whole ogre trip.

Shrek:
Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drank their fluids. Does that sound good to you?

Donkey:
Uh, no, not really, no.

Shrek:
For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.

Donkey:
Example?

Shrek:
Example? OK, uh... ogres are like onions!

[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]

Donkey:
They stink?

Shrek:
No!

Donkey:
Oh, they make you cry?

Shrek:
No!

Donkey:
Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun and they start turnin’ brown and start sproutin' little white hairs...

Shrek:
[peels an onion] No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have… Ogres have… You get it? We both have layers!

[frustratingly heaves a sigh and then angrily walks off]

Donkey:
Oh! You both have layers! You know, not everybody like onions. Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!

Shrek:
I don't care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes!

Donkey:
You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person and said, "Hey! Let's get some parfaits!” And they said, "Hell no! I don't like no parfaits!"? Parfaits are delicious!

Shrek:
NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.

Donkey:
Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!

Shrek:
Y’know, I think I preferred your humming.

Donkey:
Do you have a tissue or somethin'? I'm makin' a mess. Just the word “parfait” make me start slobberin'.