Shrek2001

Donkey:
Donkey? What are you doing?

Donkey:
[gathering branches] I would think you of all people would recognize a wall when you see one!

Shrek:
Well, yeah... but the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it!

Donkey:
It is around your swamp! That's your half and this is my half!

Shrek:
Oh, your half! Hmmm.

Donkey:
My half! I helped rescue the Princess! I did half the work, I get half the booty! Now hand over that big rock, the one that looks like your head!

[Shrek angrily removes the stick and Donkey stops him from moving]

Shrek:
Back off!

Donkey:
No! You back off!

Shrek:
This is my swamp!

Donkey:
Our swamp!

Shrek:
Let go, Donkey!

Donkey:
You let go!

Shrek:
Stubborn jackass!

Donkey:
Smelly ogre!

Shrek:
Fine!

Donkey:
Hey, come back here! I'm not through with you yet!

Shrek:
Well, I'm through with you! (And I am, period!)

Donkey:
Uh-uh. You know with you, it's always "me, me, me". Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me, you insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushin' me around or pushin' me away!

Shrek:
Oh yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?

Donkey:
Because that's what friends do! THEY FORGIVE EACH OTHER!

Shrek:
[in a fake friendly tone] Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you. [then in a mean voice] FOR STABBIN' ME IN THE BACK!?

[Shrek goes into his outhouse and slams the door behind Donkey.]

Donkey:
[groans in exasperation] You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelin's!

Shrek:
[from inside his outhouse] Go away!

Donkey:
See? There you are, doin' it again just like you did to Fiona, and all she ever did was like you. Maybe even love you.

Shrek:
[from inside his outhouse] Love me?! She said I was ugly! A hideous creature! I heard the two of you talking!

Donkey:
She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about...er, somebody else.

Shrek:
[comes out of his outhouse] She wasn't talking about me? Well then, who was she talking about?

Donkey:
Uh-uh, no way. I ain't sayin' anything. You don't wanna listen to me, right? Right?!

Shrek:
[tries to talk to Donkey] Donkey?

Donkey:
No!

Shrek:
OK, look. I'm sorry, all right? [Donkey just lets out a soft hmph as if to say, "Not buying it. Try again."] I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. Can you forgive me?

Donkey:
Hey, that's what friends are for, right?

Shrek:
Right. Friends?

Donkey:
Friends.

[He and Donkey shake hands]

Shrek:
So, um, what did Fiona say about me?

Donkey:
What are you askin' me for? Why don't you go ask her?

Shrek:
[remembers, in shock] The wedding! We'll never make it in time!

Donkey:
Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have a way. [whistles]

[Dragon enters the swamp, flying]

Shrek:
Donkey?!

Donkey:
I guess it's just my animal magnetism.

Shrek:
Aw, come here, you.

Donkey:
Alright, alright. Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. Alright, hop on and hold on tight. [Dragon gets Shrek on her back] I haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet.

[They all fly off back to Duloc]