China, Il2011

Dean:
What the f*** is this sh*t Cakes?

Professor Cakes:
They're just protecting this old place. This is their habitat. You see, back when I was working on the anti-hippie experiment, I fell in love with Haystack here. Her devolved mind was so pure, it was so primal. I saved her from the fire. Over the years, I kept up our affair, bringing food, water, drugs, glow sticks.

Professor Cakes:
The truth is, all these hippies are my progeny. They're my...o-other children.

Baby Cakes:
Wait. What? So Mattie is...

Professor Cakes:
Your sister, son.

Baby Cakes:
Aw, man.

Professor Cakes:
That's why I didn't want you together. Believe me, I understand the inertia of star-crossed love. But f***ing your sister's just gross.